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bluepepper: My boyfriend whimpers when I suck his cock. Does that mean I'm hurting him? How can I stop hurting him? I really want him to be okay, he's very stressed lately 😞
arrestaed: Hello?
sajagirl20: is there anybody in there?
arrestaed: just nod if you can hear me
sajagirl20: is there anyone at home
meerkitxh: But I'm a creeeppp
sajagirl20: Bro.
bluepepper: Guys I'm being serious 😤
jinukissme: you idiot your boyfriend is more than fine
jinukissme: especially with that face of yours 😏
sajagirl20: ew get out of here!! Creep!!
meerkitxh: I'm a weiiirrrdoooo
sajagirl20: can you shut up. Yes, you are a weirdo.
Sunghoon deleted the lone selfie he had on his profile after jinukissme's reply.
Sunghoon always wanted his boyfriend to be happy. He wanted to make him happy and he wanted the world to make him happy. He wanted Heeseung's family to love him, and their friends and the people at his job and university the same.
And . . . he really wanted to keep being the reason for the affectionate crinkle of Heeseung's eyes and the adoring smile on his face and the lovely softness in his voice and words and touches.
He should have been elated. He should have been throwing ponies and birthday parties and whatever he could get his hands on, because last night, he sucked his boyfriend's dick for the first time!
But it was Monday morning—these things always seemed to happen on Mondays (maybe it wasn't only a meme)—and his body was jittering faintly as he walked into the building for his class, and his stomach was growling, and his mind wouldn't stop replaying the pitiful sounds of Heeseung's whines and the possibly devastating consequences.
His phone dinged quietly. Sunghoon only had notifications on for a few people.
Heeseunghyung <3
wanna get lunch together?
Heeseung didn't hate him after the disaster that was their first sex act. Sunghoon knew that. Or course he did. Heeseung was still acting the same with him, if maybe with a little something new—it made sense: they had kissed and made out before but Sunday night moved them to a new level.
Sunghoon just hadn't expected to be so disturbed by the sounds Heeseung made when he was being . . . pleasured. That was what Sunghoon was hung up about. Was it really pleasure?
On Tuesday they had lunch together again.
Heeseung really didn't seem to have found anything wrong with their Sunday night. He seemed normal and happy, if stressed. Sunghoon wanted to help him relieve that stress and most certainly did not want to add to it.
On Wednesday they were both too busy to meet up.
Heeseunghyung <3
I miss you, baby :(
Sunghoon
photo
Heeseunghyung <3
pretty prince
should I make that your nickname?
tomorrow morning I'll be free
Sunghoon
hyung do you think I'm a sadist?
Heeseunghyung <3
I don't think I can answer that.
Only you know yourself that well
For now 😉
Sunghoon
😰
On Thursday Heeseung came by the hasukjip and walked with Sunghoon to his class.
"Have you been thinking of me?"
Heeseung looked radiant even as he was tired and he leaned into Sunghoon's space like he already wanted to press their bodies together this moment.
"Hyung, it's windy today."
Heeseung wrapped an arm around him. The wind buffeted its own arm around them and everything blustered inside Sunghoon's head.
"Have you been thinking of me?"
Sunghoon kept his gaze away, his steps focused.
Heeseung kept his arm there, steps matched.
"Ah, Sunghoon, Sunghoon, Sunghoon. Park Sunghoon. Park Sunghoonie."
When they had just about reached Sunghoon's class, Heeseung pulled him into an empty room and closed the door, which definitely wasn't risky or obvious at all. Then he pulled him into a hug.
An affectionate, passionate kiss.
Sunghoon felt like his body was vibrating even though logically that was impossible.
"I know you have," Heeseung said with a wink as he left.
Sunghoon wanted to keep hugging him. He wanted to lie a hand through Heeseung's hair and feel him smile and lean into it like a happy cat. He wanted to kiss him. And also maybe he wanted . . . other things. Things he shouldn't be thinking about when he was on his way to class and that last time caused Heeseung anguish, possibly agony.
bluepepper: Update — PLEASE HELP!!!!!! My boyfriend wants to do sex things this weekend but I think I'm dying of nerves I'm sorry to say this but I don't understand why he wants it again if it's painful? I repeat PLEASE HELP!!!!!!
crepeflipper20pp: dude, saying this for everyone's sake, genuinely just tell him about your feelings. Communicate. Please. Do it for us.
bluepepper: Thank you. Will do my best.
Sunghoon wanted to do his best. His best so far was panic and anxiety.
This came with increasing and progressive clarity over the rest of Thursday and Friday until getting to Heeseung's that night with his stuff.
"Hoonhoon, you didn't sleep well?" Heeseung hugged him and pressed small kisses to his lips and face.
"Just tired."
"Let's get good rest tonight. We can play in the morning."
With no other idea about responding to that, Sunghoon kissed him and enjoyed his momentary surprise before he was eagerly sucking Sunghoon's lip into his mouth.
Then they just kinda . . . hugged.
Even with Sunghoon's nerves about the sex thing, Heeseung's presence made the night calm. Sunghoon didn't know how he fell asleep, just that he did.
He woke late on Saturday morning with Heeseung half on top of him.
They'd become fond of sleeping in the same bed, which sometimes wasn't the bed: sometimes it was the couch because both were too tired to move. It certainly didn't happen every day, or every other day, but it had become as routine and irreplaceable as brushing his teeth.
And he did brush his teeth. He looked over at the bathroom door every so often, wondering if Heeseung was getting up, if he would come in.
Heeseung came into the bathroom at the end of Sunghoon's wash.
Here is a glimpse at what went through Sunghoon's head at this time:
Oh.
I really like you a lot.
He realized Heeseung was looking at him in the mirror with an affectionate smile, and when Heeseung realized that Sunghoon realized, Heeseung turned and smiled at him in real life and it sent sparks through Sunghoon and had him returning the smile and almost knocking things over as he finished that part of the morning routine.
When they were back in the bedroom, Sunghoon just kind of stood there, as did Heeseung. Now that they were both washed up it sat near them like a sentient tidal wave.
"Babe," Heeseung said softly like always. "Do you want this?"
Sunghoon hesitated. He could say it was fine. But it wasn't, really. And Heeseung seemed to have picked up on that.
He could find some way to avoid answering or doing this at all, but he really didn't want to foul their relationship that both of them valued so much.
". . . I've been feeling nervous." He swallowed. The mint from the toothpaste lingered.
"Oh, what is it? Tell hyung."
"You really don't think I'm a sadist?"
"I've told you what I think. Yes, I don't think you are . . . Do you want me to?"
"I don't. I just don't understand—didn't I hurt you last week?"
"When?" He seemed to tally and deem some harmless general life points in his head. "You haven't hurt me, Sunghoon."
"But the—the sounds. When I."
"The sounds?"
"I don't want to hurt you again."
Heeseung took a few seconds to figure out what that meant. Sunghoon twisted his hands nervously.
"It—it really is not even close to hurting," Heeseung choked out. "Oh, Sunghoon . . . Oh . . . "
"It's not funny," Sunghoon said, and of course he smiled and ducked his head into it when Heeseung touched his cheek.
"Tell me if anything's too much, okay?" Heeseung asked after he'd situated himself on a towel between Sunghoon's legs. His lips—all of him—were so close to Sunghoon's naked cock that Sunghoon thought that if either of them moved they would touch.
Heeseung's ears had turned bright red sometime between their conversation and their making out, and Sunghoon had physically felt more heat score through Heeseung when he sucked on Heeseung's ear, all of it, even the spots where his piercings usually went. It was starting to spread pink down his pretty neck and chest.
He was dressed only in his boxer briefs whereas Sunghoon was all the way undressed, and it was extremely distracting. Sunghoon wanted to run his hands down the clothed area. It was erotic: Heeseung simply wearing clothing. Especially just underwear.
Sunghoon nodded quickly. It gave Heeseung incentive to lean in further and brush his nose near the base of Sunghoon's cock with a low moan, then seal himself to his balls by the mouth, sheathing air through Sunghoon's chest. This might make him near tapping out already—it already was too much. Fuck.
Just as quickly, though, Heeseung moved his mouth to Sunghoon's inner thigh, and petted the other one, a familiar touch. He looked up at Sunghoon.
"You can relax, baby, I'm here," he said.
He continued pressing kisses on his thigh, then did the same on the other one. Sunghoon felt like he was nurturing him in a weird way but also teasing him, and he grabbed the hand that was still petting him.
He meant to say something more commanding, like "I'm getting impatient" or "suck me already" but all that came out, all that he could make himself say to this guy he respected so much was: "Hyung."
Heeseung grinned and intertwined their fingers. "Don't worry. You'll get what you're needing."
Sunghoon didn't think he'd ever been so desperate to have somebody's mouth on him, not even during his lonely horny teenager days.
Heeseung's mouth was on his balls again, he was licking, sucking a little. Sunghoon was imagining his pink tongue and his pretty smile along with the hot presses and strokes of the saliva-coated muscle where he couldn't see.
There was a tiny huff sound Sunghoon realized was Heeseung moaning as he sucked, slipping one of his balls into his mouth. And then he felt the moaning; there was no question about the vibrations.
Heeseung kept sucking, he just kept sucking. It was building a throbbing pulse in Sunghoon's cock.
Sunghoon made a weird moan sound and Heeseung pulled away with a slight sucking noise.
"You like that a lot, huh?"
He didn't give Sunghoon much chance to answer except in more moans because he ducked back down to curl his tongue around the underside of his balls, his lips making contact with him, the breaths from his nose and mouth sending more arousal through him. His hands on Sunghoon's thighs and the pleasure from his mouth, the fact that Heeseung was sucking on his balls was nearly unbearable.
Masturbating him with his hand to somehow make him even harder, Heeseung slowly inserted Sunghoon's cock into his mouth, and looked adorably hot while doing it.
Sunghoon accidentally thrusted.
"Sorry."
Heeseung only seemed more enthusiastic.
He dipped his head, taking more of Sunghoon into his mouth and throat and moaning on him, and his arm went around Sunghoon's hip to slide his fingers between his cheeks and onto his hole, not going into it, but pushing, touching.
Sunghoon's muscles tensed and another spurt of precum added to the wetness of Heeseung's mouth, which he swallowed around, another heavenly sensation. Sunghoon squeezed his eyes closed for a moment amidst ecstasy. The heat around his cock disappeared and left it slick and hard, spit cooling in the air.
Heeseung cupped Sunghoon's balls, a different heat, and Sunghoon moaned.
As his middle finger prodded at Sunghoon's hole and his other hand continued its play with Sunghoon's balls, Heeseung teased Sunghoon's head with his tongue, looking up at him before moving closer and holding his cock to his mouth so he could make out with it. His mouth brushed the length of his cock and his tongue peeked out in little squishes along it.
Sunghoon's legs trembled and threatened to close on Heeseung, and he didn't know what to do with his hands but hold on, because that seemed to be all that he could do throughout this sexual fever. He felt like he was gonna nut from the sight alone.
Maybe he'd been really pent up, because that was exactly what happened.
All of his happenings that he was aware of and some that he was vaguely aware of and probably some that he wasn't aware of shorted out like he was thrown from his body for a moment before he slammed back in.
Cum strung and stuttered from Sunghoon's cock but Heeseung kept stimulating. Stroking it up and down with his hand, mouthing on the head a few times. Getting cum on his mouth, his face. His pretty face.
Sunghoon shuddered and a low moan escaped him, and just when he thought maybe he was done cumming, an electric sensation took control in his dick as intensely as Heeseung took over Sunghoon in general.
He moaned and twisted a bit in his seat but Heeseung's arm around him—he wasn't still touching his hole, but his arm was pressing him close and had an authority to it that Sunghoon didn't move too much against.
Something else shot, or more like sprayed from Sunghoon's cock, feeling like something small had burst down there: clear, thin fluid.
It felt really good but also kind of mortifying.
"What is that?"
With his hand slowly jerking Sunghoon's dick, getting even more fluid from it than Sunghoon had thought would or could happen, Heeseung kissed his thigh. "You squirted."
"I didn't know that was possible."
Heeseung smirked. "Oh, it is for sure."
Some of it had gotten on his face in shiny drips and he didn't seem to mind. He was probably enjoying it.
Sunghoon was really grateful for that towel.
"Was that good? Do you see what I mean?"
The worries had disappeared the second Heeseung's mouth made contact with his balls. And he was greatly encouraged by Heeseung's enthusiasm whilst doing it to him. He nodded sheepishly.
"See, it's alright, it feels really good to do that."
Sunghoon wanted to do it to Heeseung.
He really wanted to give him that strong orgasm that Sunghoon just experienced, maybe stronger. And that squirting thing. . . .
His intense desire scared him.
"Do you wanna swap? Or I can lie on the floor and you can go down on me that way?"
A little moan came too easily at all of the thoughts Heeseung's words brought to his mind. "Just swap right now." They could do other positions later.
Heeseung had gotten harder while he sucked Sunghoon, and his flushed erection hit his stomach when he removed his briefs. Sunghoon watched him, enraptured.
There was the sound of dry skin shifting over dry skin as he rubbed his hands on Heeseung's thighs. Heeseung tensed a little under his touch, awaiting his boyfriend's mouth.
With a small natural private smile, Sunghoon leaned in and kissed his stomach.
He felt an urge to show gratitude and love to Heeseung, and to do so through bodily actions and sensations.
He continued granting that urge, kissing more of his stomach, and nuzzling him, and kissing down his waist to his hip. He wanted him to feel loved and safe. The way Sunghoon felt around him.
As he kissed Heeseung's thigh he felt another urge, one to hold and lick already, and surely Heeseung felt that want from the receiving side, but Sunghoon wasn't done exploring.
He kissing his inner thighs, and his balls, finding he loved the feeling of Heeseung's skin on his lips, the warm, round, heavy balls under his cock.
"Yeah, there you go," Heeseung murmured.
He touched his dark bristly pubic hair and breathed in the smell of him.
Heeseung didn't say or do anything in complaint. Sunghoon could feel his attention steady on him. If Heeseung was starting to feel more relaxed, would Sunghoon know? He wasn't sure. He didn't know. Probably.
He brushed his lips gently along his thigh, looking up at him.
Heeseung returned the gaze like he was in a trance.
Sunghoon caressed his other thigh, traced his hand up to his cock, held his stiff meat and tongued at the side of it. It tasted as sweet nothingness as elsewhere on Heeseung's body and the skin was soft.
Heeseung whimpered.
Sunghoon wanted to eat him. He sucked the head into his mouth and laved his tongue on it. Just sucking and slurping it, making a mess. He meant to do it cleaner but there was more drool than he'd expected or could compensate for and he felt like Heeseung probably didn't mind. Then again, Heeseung probably wouldn't mind either if Sunghoon stopped so he could swallow the drool. It was really an excuse to keep drooling all over Heeseung because Sunghoon liked it.
"Mmm—ah . . . Feels good."
Sunghoon stiffened when Heeseung's soft words and sighs turned into a moan but got through it, reminding himself that they had talked about it, that Sunghoon wasn't hurting him, he was actually making him feel good. Heeseung comfortingly petted Sunghoon's hair as if knowing what he was thinking. "Doing so good, baby."
Sunghoon moaned with him. It felt better in tandem like that.
He became more comfortable in the position, or maybe it was just that he wasn't so aware of it anymore. Instead he was aware of Heeseung.
And he was really enjoying it now that he could get into it.
And now that he was in this position again, that urge that was becoming familiar rose heavily up through Sunghoon's body, and he began to feel as if some other entity were taking over him, one that was ravenous, and also extremely enthusiastic about sexual pleasuring.
Sunghoon liked feeling Heeseung's cock twitch when he looked up at him and lewdly moved his hand up and down and nudged his lips against it and then his tongue like Heeseung had done on him, prodding, feeling. He liked the way Heeseung's muscles tensed and relaxed and seemed unsteady on the chair, humming with a constant underlying tension, the way Heeseung was seeming to become more unstable by the second: he was breathing heavily and restrained, with a closed mouth, and small stuttered sounds came quietly from his throat, and he bathed Sunghoon with his pleasure-lidded gaze.
Sunghoon tried taking him in more, feeling him hit the roof of his mouth, further back, sucking. He gagged. And kept sucking.
Heeseung moaned louder than he had so far, and his fingers clenched protectively on Sunghoon's head. Sunghoon moaned with him, and it made Heeseung rock against him furtively.
"Fu—fuck, Sunghoon—"
He lengthened the amount he took until it sometimes touched the back of his throat, and he gagged and choked a few times, and he stroked the rest of it faster, the hot flesh that put Heeseung at his mercy.
Fuck my face, please, stop holding back.
Heeseung's thighs on either side of Sunghoon shook, and he held onto both Sunghoon and the chair, and his moans were strained and broken.
Thanks to their breathing and moans, the wet sounds of Sunghoon's spit and the precum, the feel of Heeseung in his mouth and above him, knowing it was he that was doing this to him, Sunghoon's dick was beginning to stir again.
Heeseung's hand gripped Sunghoon's head. "Can I—"
Sunghoon gave a thumbs-up, taking another breath in of much needed air and Heeseung's scent.
He wasn't prepared for the desperate hold on his head and the tightened thrusts into his mouth, the cock filling his throat, the small sounds Heeseung made as he chased that high. His own moans and occasional gasps got out around Heeseung's wet thrusting on his tongue and throat.
Instead of being deterred by the surprise, by the sudden assault of his face, he was overcome with the feeling that he could just sit here, for Heeseung's use, for Heeseung's power over him, drooling and hard and available. His legs clenched with arousal.
Sunghoon moaned as he got to enjoy Heeseung's stretchy cum pumping out, he lapped it up, some of it combined with his saliva to make a string between Heeseung's tip and Sunghoon's mouth. He used the added lubrication that he hadn't swallowed to slide his hand faster. Heeseung whined and panted but he held still.
Like a fountain, a gushing spurt of clear thin fluid. Sunghoon pressed his tongue to the soaked slit of Heeseung's dick, rubbed his lips on the drenched frenulum and glans, swallowing, licking again, addicted to the feeling of Heeseung's wet and sensitive cock.
Heeseung winced and puffed out a tiny sound of protest and at last Sunghoon pulled away, reluctantly removing his hand from the base of Heeseung's dick, already mourning the feeling of his hand nestled against his pelvis.
Some of the clear squirt had dripped down onto Sunghoon's dick that already had dried fluids on it along with the precum he'd started leaking again while sucking Heeseung off.
Sunghoon was really grateful for that towel.
Heeseung looked at him with a glazy and grateful gaze while his breathing evened out. Sunghoon looked slightly beside Heeseung sometimes, and his body didn't feel like something Sunghoon got to see all the time yet, so he just kept looking at his face when he did look back at him. He realized he was still panting a little bit. He licked his lips, and Heeseung mirrored the action.
Heeseung leaned forward and at the same time raised his gently calloused hand beside Sunghoon's face in a gesture that was uncomfortably affectionate and made him almost want to shift away. Still, a wave of something similar soared through him and it was with relief about the inevitability of it that he leaned into the kiss, Heeseung's hand warm and holding on his chin.
For a bit he felt like he'd never be able to open his eyes again, he'd never do anything other than this. It spread through all the dopamine and serotonin and oxytocin receptors. This was his life, this was his passion.
When the kiss released, Sunghoon brought his non-soiled hand to hold the wrist of the hand that still lingered on his face. He witnessed the syrupy motion of Heeseung's eyes opening and the soft warm brown light in them. Heeseung seemed just as hypnotized by this moment as he was.
Syllables began to form by Sunghoon's teeth. He didn't let them fly.
Just as the moment seemed to trail thin, Sunghoon clung Heeseung's wrist firm to his chest and remixed the syllables in movement, buried them in the shape of kissing him again.
Heeseung had his own tug and pull in this, clear in his reciprocation.
Could Heeseung sense it? This depth in his throat? These words coming from inside him?
He kissed him more, with more need, he knew he was clutching Heeseung's arm to his chest but he couldn't care less, he only cared about what suddenly felt like minimal contact—the only contact—the only way in.
Heeseung was kissing back and he was kissing of his own accord and he was pushing his arm into Sunghoon's chest, Sunghoon's touch, like he was saying take me.
It was too much to put into words. His hands shook a bit, he tried not to hurt Heeseung's wrist. He felt so much love for him that he thought he didn't know how to show it. Right now, all of it, he didn't know, and he avoided how much he knew was right there if he uncovered it.
To think they had this weekend together. . . .
Heeseung seemed to be thinking the same thing. He murmured, "All weekend. . . ."
Sunghoon was never going to look at that chair the same way again.
"Where did you get the idea that sex needs to be silent?"
". . . A forum."
"Show me."
Sunghoon showed him. He'd logged out beforehand so Heeseung wouldn't see his post, but his post flashed by anyway. It displayed an egregious accumulation of hits.
"Hey, that person's writing is familiar." His voice faded and he mumbled below his breath along with the words he was reading. "Also kinda matches our . . . situation."
"Maybe I know them and influenced them spectacularly." Sunghoon laughed a laugh that definitely wasn't fake and embarrassed. "Coincidental."
Please move on, he thought. We haven't even looked at the post we're meant to yet.
Heeseung didn't move on.
"Look, they play League of Legends, too! And the username! Blue pepper . . . Isn't that a Sunghoonie phrase?"
There was no fixing that one.
Heeseung rubbed him affectionately. "You're a cutie."
Against his will, Sunghoon blushed, and he cursed internally. He should've deleted that post.