Chapter Text
POV Lilas
Friday: 9pm
Lilas should be at the concert. Every fiber of her being itches to be there. They’re her favorite band. More than a favorite, Sleep Token is the only band she listens to every day. Now and then she’ll mix in some Radiohead, some Bring Me the Horizon, some Black Sabbath. But every morning she wakes up and starts her day with Chokehold. Many nights when she lies in bed alone, she listens to One on repeat until her alarm goes off. She should be at the concert, but she is not. Why? Because she is a Registered Nurse, on a travel contract, with 24/7 availability. When she first started traveling, she thought it might give her more opportunities to see shows. In reality, she’s the expected cover for all the staff nurses.
So instead, Lilas is here. In the ICU of the hospital, surrounded by sedated bodies. Tonight, she cares for two men. The man in bed 13 has suffered a stroke. It’s been two months now, and he has not woken up three weeks after discontinuing sedation. The care team is getting close to transferring him to a long-term care hospital, once his ileostomy is healed and the family accepts that he isn’t going to enter the recovery phase. Between emptying this man’s catheter and ostomy bag, and suctioning his tracheostomy so he can be ventilated, Lilas is completing the transfer paperwork for her other patient in bed 14. Today he is being moved to the intermediate neuro unit. He is out of the woods, so to speak, after being viciously curb stomped and beaten in the courtyard of the prison. In a week or less, he’ll be wheeled to a van, ‘helped’ inside by two guards, and taken back to the same cellblock as the people who did this to him.
Lilas is happy to have the man from the prison. She does not ask the guards in his room what he has been convicted of. She does not gossip with the other nurses about this privileged information, which has no bearing on the level of care he deserves. He is a living being in this world, under whatever god it is who is actually out there. She relishes in protecting him for the brief period she is capable. She hopes he will somehow outlive his sentence and learn to walk among the crowd once more.
Lilas is sad to have the man who will ‘return’ to his family. He is gone forever. She knows it, deep in her soul she feels the lack of tether to the mortal coil, and yet they deny it. They wish to dote over his body, the empty vessel that once carried his spirit. This body will decay. They will move his arms and legs in an attempt to keep them from stiffening into obstacles. They shall pump liquid food into it through gastrostomy tube. They will empty the feces out of a pouch attached to the abdomen. The food will be measured, and so will the volume of urine output and the frequency of feces excreted. They will be recorded, along with how frequently the machine pushes air into the lungs, and how many times per minute this soulless heart contracts. The life of this man who once walked among us is reduced to numbers. This is not life to Lilas. This is an apocalypse through the eyes of a zombie.
Friday: 11:30pm
Her patient from the prison was move a little over half an hour ago, and Lilas is sanitizing and turning-over the room. As she restocks supplies, her mind drifts away from here.
The concert should be wrapping up soon. Lilas and the other nurses expect the ER to call at least twice within an hour of the concert, trying to shift a few patients in an effort to make space for victims of the bar or the mosh pit. Being the nearest hospital to the concert venue, Lilas knows to be on alert for the repercussions of a sold-out show of a ‘metal’ concert (despite her opinion that Sleep Token is more love- and heartbreak- than anger-inducing). She is watching the statistics of the ER on their charting application when she gets three high-priority notifications all at once.
ALERT: LOCAL VENUE CONCERT INCIDENT
ONE SERIOUS INJURY
- Performing member of band injured by falling equipment
Oh shit. No. Fuck no. One of them is hurt.
Her stomach leaps into her throat.
ALERT: ICU-LEVEL INJURY
ONE INCOMING PATIENT
- 31 year old male, awake on arrival, GCS 14 in field, impact to coronal skull by stage equipment approx. 11:26pm; minor visible deformation of cranial structure
- Pt denies allergies, current medications, and ongoing medical conditions
- Pupils equal and reactive, symmetric facial and limbic responses
Lilas’s heart rate would be considered tachycardic. It can’t be him. She knows he’s the youngest of the group and there’s no keeping secrets from the EMTs.
ALERT: ANTICIPATED ICU ADMISSION: NDA REQUIREMENTS
That’s unusual.
SPECIAL PRIORITY PATIENT
- Management seeking RNs willing to work under NDA contract.
- Additional privacy concerns related to celebrity status.
- Contract requirements without additional wage, subject to legal persecution.
- One needed IMMEDIATELY. Sign authorization within 12 hours.
- Additional coverage for 24 hour care needed by AM shift.
Lilas clicked the link without hesitation. She pressed confirm offer, then followed to the uploaded, tentative non-disclosure agreement. It outlined privacy of the legal names of all members of the Sleep Token collective. Seven stage members, a multitude of back-of-house crew, and even their management.
Those assholes. Guess they did get their real names. They really doxxed these poor guys who just wanted to perform without being publicly harassed. Lilas recognized the names she has seen online, posted to the world declaring who the members of Sleep Token really were.
She signed the contract electronically, with a little reminder she needed to do so in person at the end of her shift.
11:42pm
ALERT: HSP ARRIVED: ER ASSESSMENT IN PROGRESS
Wow, that’s fast, even for an ambulance in the middle of the night. I hope that doesn’t mean... she can’t let herself finish that thought
Which ever of the band was her patient, they were here. Offloaded from the ambulance. With a head-injury, Lilas knew they would most likely be taken straight to CT. She started prepping her empty room. Suction equipment, bite blocks, tubing for a ventilator. Fear floods her chest. She’s never been so afraid of the condition in which her patient will arrive. In the back of her mind, she knows it’s Vessel, but she also lets the image of Two, Three, and Four take his place on the stretcher. She really can’t be certain until she gets the patient. With all her supplies, she simply waits, holding her assignment phone.
11:54pm
With her usual level of anxiety in check, Lilas is suddenly overcome by a very strong shiver, nearly making her squirm out of her chair. The sensation was strange, more than just a little tickle. For a moment it felt like a scalding hot-white heat had been poured into her spine. But instead of hurting, it lit every cell like a lightbulb of satisfaction for the briefest of moments. The sensation burned out as quickly as it came, leaving her with the impression of being cold in it’s absence. Lilas took a moment to shake her head, trying to right her mind before receiving her VIP patient. Her back itched a bit, and she reached back to scratch it well, knowing she’d need to be fully focused very soon, but it didn’t do much to ease the tingle. Oh well, she needed to be ready.
Saturday: 12:17am
ALERT: ICU ADMISSION- ASRN#6 HSP TRANSFER READY
This means they’re ready to give her report about her patient. They’ve done their assessments, now she gets to deal with the damage. She accepts the ER call within the first ring
“This is RN Manzano with report regarding High Status Patient DOB ##/##/199#. Have you accepted temporary contract to receive the patient?”
Lilas’s heart skips a beat.
“Yes, this is RN Flood. I have taken the contract.”
With little hesitation, the ER nurse goes straight into report
“31 year old male patient arrived following publicly witnessed head-trauma; full code; GCS 14 in the field; BP 114/70, HR 90, RR 17, T 99.0 F; PERRLA with facial symmetry, clear speech, equal strength and coordinated limbs; taken for MRI upon arrival. No medical history, denies active medications, rates pain 7/10. Labs drawn at 23:51, no reported abnormalities, negative for initial substance panel. MRI revealed progressive swelling the left occipital lobe. Sedation initiated at 23:54, intubation successful without incident. 18g IV in left AC, 21g IV in right dorsal hand. BP stable with fluids. ICP monitor inserted by radiology. Current meds pentobarbital drip with mannitol. Admission to ICU pending further investigation and identity protection to be initiated immediately per care plan. Any questions?”
The other nurse seemed particularly snappy. They must have made some type of a scene by arriving.
“Skin assessment?”
The pause spoke volumes. There was a deep sigh through the line.
“Lower face, neck, majority of torso, and elbow to finger tip covered in black body paint, removed as needed for examination. Partial face mask removed with resistance from patient upon arrival. Skin is free of rashes, contusions, and pressure injuries.” The other nurse spoke, knowing the magic words required for this question to an ICU nurse.
Yep, that’s Vessel.
“Thank you. Bed 14 ready to receive admission.”
With that the phone was hung up immediately. All Lilas could do was breathe.
12:19am
The doors to the ICU were pushed open by a resus bed. Lilas was standing at the entrance to room 14 and they walked straight towards her, at a smooth and purposeful, yet unhurried pace. One nurse was holding the Ambu bag, another trailing the IV pole with the pumps on it, and the third was pushing the full set-up. Rather anticlimactic for an ER admission, but Lilas’s attention was immediately transfixed when she saw who was in the bed.
Him.
He’s a bit older now than in the leaked pictures she had seen. Short hair, thin face, and tired bags beneath his eyes. But from the moment her eyes laid on Vessel, it felt like he controlled gravity.
Behind them, two of the hospital security guards followed, but did not enter the room. They stood outside the door as they transferred him from the first ER gurney to the fancy ICU bed. Lilas supposed this was their safety measure for the time being.
She listened carefully and jots down a few more notes from the continuity report, to the best of her ability. His vitals were great. No labs out of range. The only thing which stands out in sharp contrast to an otherwise optimistic situation: swelling to the parietal and occipital lobes of the right brain.
NO. Fuck no. Not him, not Vessel. Not her savior. Not the only man who said anything to meaning to her for the past 6 years, be it through lyrics shared with millions. Not now. Not in her hands.
Lilas processed the information methodically. Assisted in the hook up of the necessary tubing, turned on the oxygen, and went about checking on the pump settings on his IVs. Confirmed and thanked the ER nurses, then looked at Vessel. Multiple lines running the medications that kept him sedated in a desperate attempt to keep his brain from damaging itself. She hoped so desperately that they would work. She considered saying a prayer, but didn’t know who to pray to. God from the Bible? She hadn’t spoken to him in decades. Sleep? Vessel’s ‘god’? Sleep wasn’t real, were they? Asclepius was probably the safest bet.
She thought about the body in bed 13. The one who belonged to a man who would never return to it. The thought caused bile to rise in her throat and tears to sting her eyes.
She went to gather the supplies to wash Vessel’s body when she was stopped to sign a form by one of the guards. She recognized him by the tattoos on his biceps but glanced at his badge to confirm his name, Matthew.
“This is the hospital’s standard NDA. You, your CNA, and all the other providers will have to sign one to enter this room. What’s your CNA’s extension tonight?” He says, handing over a single page form on a clipboard.
“I don’t have one actually. They usually don’t assign me one for overnights.”
“Oh, really?” Matthew looked around the unit and shrugged. “Well, they said tomorrow the band’s lawyer is holding a briefing for all staff involved in ___’s care. They’re coming up with their own agreements you have to sign.”
Great, having to stay up even longer. Lilas has another shift tonight. As excited as she is to take care of Vessel, sleep is hard to come by as an overnight nurse.
“Fine by me. Guess I’ll be seeing a lot of you then, huh?” Lilas says and smiles. Matthew gives a mild smirk and another shrug. She skims the agreement, the same one she’s read before, then prints and signs.
She hands the clipboard back and walks the short distance to the supply cart. Loading up her arm with disposable towels, lotion, a gown, and a few devices she’ll need for her patient’s bathroom hygiene. Butterflies flutter in her abdomen at the thought she’s going to see every inch of him very, very soon. Professional. You are a professional. This is your patient. Nevermind that you have his mask tattooed on your ribs. Your imagination stays at home. He’s out cold and he could be brain dead in a matter of hours.
...Shit. Don’t think about that either. He’s gonna be fine. You’re gonna take care good care of him.
As she returns to room 14, her work phone pings again as she’s setting the supplies down. After slipping a pair of gloves on, she stands at the bedside and pulls it out while resting her index and middle fingers on his radial pulse, finding it easily. It’s steady beat is calming to her own.
CHARGE: Flood, did you take the HSP?
GRP 7: Yep. Starting his assessment soon.
CHARGE: So you signed our form already? You need to stay for the meeting with their lawyer at 700. Its gonna take at least an hour.
CHARGE: Also, one of the other band members is on his way up. They’re documented as the patient’s proxy. Tread lightly with him, he sounded pretty angry with the security about taking his mask off.
GRP 7: Got it with the meeting, and yes, I signed our form.
GRP 7: Proxy is here already?
CHARGE: Just got into the elevators. Dr. Nguyen will meet with them at the patient’s room in an hour. Try to clean up all that paint please.
Holy crap. Another member? Which one would be his proxy? Just then Lilas heard Matthew greet someone and ask who he was.
“I’m here to see my mate. There’s my fucking passport, you’ll figure out who I am quick enough.”
And there, standing in the doorway was Two. Melissa, her charge nurse, was right. He looked absolutely pissed. Also covered elbows down with paint, the rest of his exposed skin covered in tattoos and a black t-shirt with more paint creeping up his neck. Raccoon rings of paint around his eyes made him look like a juvenile Halloween costume, but the blue fire blazing in his eyes burned up any humor that could be found from the look. For a moment, Lilas was speechless and frozen in awe.
Two held her eye contact for a moment before his gaze dropped to her hand on Vessel’s wrist.
“Are you the nurse?”
She moved her hand from his wrist to the bed rail and Two’s eyes followed.
“Yes, I’m Nurse Flood, or you can call me Lilas. I’ve been assigned to ___’s care-”
“DON’T. Call him that. His preferred name is Vessel.” Two walked further into the room to the other side of the bed and took Vessel’s right hand with the IV in it carefully into his grasp. “I want you and all the other nurses and doctors to call him Vessel. No ___, no Mr. _______. Just Vessel.”
“Yes sir, I’ll update his file and post a notice in the room. Mr...?”
“Two. Just Two, no mister. The others in the band go by Three and Four.” He scans between the ventilator, the IV pole, and a brief skim down Lilas’s stature. “Have you heard of Seep Token?”
Lilas stifles a giggle. “Yes, I have. I’m a bit of a fan.” Her discreet understatement bubbled in her chest. Lilas had at least a dozen Sleep Token tattoos, all intentionally placed to be hidden by scrubs. She’s never been happier with her placement of them away from prying eyes, even if they’re the eyes of one of the band members themselves. Outside of work, she wore almost exclusively band shirts. Her room was decorated with posters and other merch. She ate, slept, and dreamed Sleep Token, but Two would never need to know. He’d probably request a different nurse if he found out.
“Oh. Good to know.” Two pauses and seems to relax a bit, then tense again immediately after looking back at Vessel. “What is wrong with him?” This time when he meets Lilas’s eyes, there is fear behind his own.
“They induced a coma to protect against swelling. His skull and vertebra are intact and we’re treating to prevent worse swelling. I really shouldn’t be explaining though, it’s out of my scope of practice. His doctor will be up soon to go over the care plan.”
“Why a coma though? Can’t they treat this with him awake?”
“The coma reduces the chance of permanent damage, and it could be extremely dangerous to have him awake with the pressure monitor in his neck. Also extremely painful. I’ve never heard of anyone rating this type of injury a 7 out of 10, but that’s apparently what he said when he got here. I’m surprised he was even still awake after the injury.”
Two looks back down at Vessel with a crease between his eyebrows. It almost looks like his mask from the Eden era. “He’s pretty tough.” He tentatively reaches up to stroke Vessel’s face, then hesitates.
“You can touch him gently, just not any of the tubes or wires. I need to clean him after I assess him anyways.” Lilas pulls out her penlight and starts by carefully lifting each of Vessel’s eyelids. His pupils show the expected diminished reaction under the pentobarbital. His sclera are bloodshot, which is to be expected. The ears show no signs of bleeding, nasal passages clear, all skin warm and dry, natural airway patent.
As she continues her assessment, Two watches her carefully. She pulls out her stethoscope from her pocket and starts listening to the mechanical breaths being pushed into Vessel. His lungs are clear and fully expansive. Moving back to his heart, its beat is steady and strong. No extra sounds, no stuttering beats.
“Um. Lilas?”
“Yeah?”
“Would you mind... would you let me listen to his heart too?” Two looked borderline nervous at asking this. It was a stark contrast to the demeanor he burst into the room with just 10 minutes ago, but she was used to seeing family members moods change rapidly in the face of illness of a loved one.
“Sure, of course.” She took the earpieces out and wiped them on her scrubs before turning them to go in Two’s ears. She then placed the diaphragm of the stethoscope right over Erb’s point, where the two heart sounds would be equal. As the sound of Vessel’s heart filled Two’s ears, he sighed into the most relaxed posture Lilas had seen him in yet.
After about a minute of just listening with his eyes closed, Two sighed again and took the earpieces out, copying Lilas in wiping them then handing them back. “Th- thank you. I hope that didn’t seem weird. You can keep doing your assessment.”
“Not weird. This is scary for you. You’ve been bandmates for a decade, and probably known each other way longer than that. You need to hear the proof he’s alive. Understanding that is a part of my job, too.”
As Lilas continued her assessment by comparing the strength of the pulses in each limb, the itch on her back came to her attention again. She took off the nitrile gloves to step away for a moment, and let her fingers trail over Vessel’s thumb, the first direct skin contact. It feels like getting shocked by static and the itch in her back twinges even worse, causing a sharp gasp to escape her lips. Two’s head snaps back up to look at her as she’s tucking her arm behind to try and scratch as much as she can reach.
“Sorry, just being a human for a second. Since the doctor isn’t here yet, do you want to step out while I set up a couple things?”
“Umm... No? Just do what you need to do. I know I’m his healthcare proxy but I’m not trying micromanage him or get you in trouble or anything.” Two’s face is tightening into the stubborn look he was wearing when he barged in past the security.
“I guess I should be more direct. I need to apply an external catheter and finish examining his skin on his backside. Are you comfortable seeing him fully naked?”
He paused for a moment and Lilas couldn’t read his expression. It was no longer anger, but also not the embarrassment she would anticipate.
“Yes. We’ve seen each other before, we live in a tour bus for months out of the year. We used to fight each other for the first shower, back when we were playing venues with one bathroom per greenroom. Like you said, we’ve known each other more than an decade...” Two’s tone didn’t quite match his expression. The tone was trying to say ‘that’s how things go,’ but the blush creeping up on his cheeks and softening his feigned frown told a different story.
“Well alright, if you’re okay with it.” Lilas washed her hands, and started applying new gloves. “I want to put it on soon, I have no idea when the last time he urinated was and I’d rather not need to change all these underpads already. I haven’t even washed the paint off.” Eyeing the paint going up to Two’s elbows, save for streaks along the underside where sweat had dripped it off, Lilas passed a pack of body wipes to the drummer. “You can start cleaning your own paint off too, if you want.” Lilas started opening another pack of wipes and a PrimoFit. “I’ve noticed over the years that you’ve found better quality body paint. Vessel used to sweat it right off, now it stays on in most places.” She spoke in an attempt to not draw additional attention to removing the sheet Vessel’s lower body was covered by. Lilas’s eyes immediately when to Vessel’s member, but she didn’t notice that Two’s did too.
“So you’ve watched our concerts for a while?” As he started wiping the black paint off his arms, revealing the rest of the tattoo sleeves which end at his wrists. “I guess you could say it’s better to have paint that sticks like this, if you aren’t the one washing it off every night. Just wait until you’re trying to get this crap off Vess’s chest while he’s out cold like this.” Two watched her wiping the unconscious singer’s penis and clean-shaven crotch. Peeling the backing off, Lilas applied the adhesive around the base, then swiftly tucked the flaccid appendage into the plastic sheath and attached the adhesive pad to his suprapubic area. With the device in place, she turned on the wall suction and attached the end of the tubing.
Looking up to Two who had watched and paused his arm wiping to stare with an uneasy expression, Lilas gives him a devious grin. “He doesn’t even know how lucky he is that he shaves. Usually that thing gets stuck right on the pubes until the adhesive pulls them all out.” Two cringed and resumed wiping the paint off his arms. “Alright, now that I’m not worried about getting pissed on, I need to turn him and make sure the skin on his back is intact. If he develops a pressure sore, I want these shitty staff nurses to pay for it.”
Lilas stepped up to the edge of the bed, checked that the neck brace was secure, along with the ICP wire taped to his neck, and that the bed was locked. Then with practiced ease, gathered some of the sheet under Vessel to roll him towards her. Normally she would call a CNA, but she wasn’t even assigned one, let alone did she want another person signed into Vessel’s care. Despite having no claim to it, she felt quite possessive about him. She was the one who cared about the patients. He was someone incredibly special to her already, and now he was under her care. Vessel’s body rolls toward her easily, and she catches his hip keep him up.
“Hey let me help you with that! He’s heavy!” Two goes to catch Vessel’s body, his hands landing at the shoulder and knee.
“Oh. Honestly I didn’t realize you’d be cool with touching him naked like this. Don’t you want to wear gloves?” She replies as in a surprisingly smooth tradeoff, she releases the sheet and they hold him steady on his side. Two ignores the suggestion of gloves, instead looking intently, if not somewhat nervously at Vessel’s back. “If that’s the case, do you mind coming around to this side so I can get a clear view? I was gonna do a tactile examination but visual is better.”
Two lets go while Lilas balances Vessel and walks around to the other side of the bed. His hands take over where Lilas was holding him at the shoulder and hip, briefly brushing against Two this time and giving her that electric shock feeling again. This time Two definitely noticed.
“Are you okay? What’s wrong?”
“Uh, nothing. I keep getting zapped from the static. It must be the sheets.” Lilas wastes no time rounding the bed and peering over Vessel’s skin, testing the integrity at his shoulder blades, sacrum, and the backs of his ankles, finding no signs of skin breakdown. What she does find is not what she expected: there are symbols covering Vessel’s entire back. The runes spread down from his shoulders to his waistline, vertical like Japanese characters. She recognizes a few of them, but most of them aren’t the ones from the TMBTE album. The longer she stares, the more her back itches. At this point she starting to consider going to the restroom and looking, convinced there’s some type of rash blooming. The itching makes her want to squirm and she completes her assessment. “Okay, you can let him down. Hey if you don’t mind helping me turn him, would you help me bathe him later?” The nurse asks while trying her best to ignore her crawling skin. Turning away from the bed and towards the table, Two watches her hand crawl back to the space between her shoulder blades with suspicion building in his guts.
Before Two can answer, Dr. Nguyen opens the door. His short stature is a bit less than Two’s and several inches below Lilas’s 5’9” frame, but his smile is warm and gentle toward both of them.
“Hello Mr. ______, I’m Dr. Brent Nguyen and I’ve been assigned to your partner Mr. _______’s care. I apologize for keeping you and Nurse Flood waiting so long. Please have a seat.” Lilas felt nauseous the moment he started speaking, knowing his true demeanor all too well. This guise of comfort was played well, but Lilas was on watch for his true nature.
“Actually doctor, I would greatly appreciate you using our pseudonyms. I go by Two and my partner is Vessel. No need to apologize for the lateness, Nurse Flood has been excellent company.” Two made no motion for the chairs in the corner of the room. Instead he straightened up and faced the doctor, nearly eye to eye. “Please cut right to the chase.” Lilas was pleased at his kurt behavior. He was not about to be bullshitted.
Dr. Nguyen’s smile relaxes into a more neutral expression and glances at Lilas briefly before beginning. “So be it. _- er, Vessel has suffered a moderate traumatic brain injury from the impact of the beam that fell on him. The MRI performed in the ER showed swelling to two lobes of the right hemisphere of his brain. Standard treatment response for this is a medically induced coma, which reduces brain activity and metabolic demands of the brain tissue while the body repairs itself. We need to keep him sedated until it’s safe to bring him out and start assessing the effects. We’ll be checking on the visible signs of healing, but we will not know what damage has been done until he’s awake.”
Watching Two’s expressions throughout this, Lilas is surprised yet again by the steadiness in his eyes. She’s seen many people breakdown after the first mention of what has happened to their loved one, long before the prognosis. He simply stares at the doctor with his shell-pink lips just barely pressed and his eyebrows intentionally in their neutral position.
“How long will you keep him in the coma?” His tone borders on monotone, with just enough inflection to sound like a question.
“At minimum, 10 days.” Liar. You won’t take him off until two weeks. You want his insurance to pay the max. “Most likely two full weeks.” There it is. “Injuries like this don’t heal very quickly. I’m sorry to inform you Mr.- uh- Mr. Two that your partner will likely need months of rehabilitation, which Royal Medical Center can provide without him needing to leave the building.”
Lilas could see the dollar signs flashing in the doctor’s eyes. Another one of these avaricious healthcare providers. She’s been sick of them since a week after she signed a 6 month travel contract. No wonder they pay well, it’s to put up with all of these sick fucks. She knows what they do to make sure the sick patients who can pay end up with the most expensive care. Even if Sleep Token has the money to pay, there’s no way in hell she’d let this establishment exploit his pain just to cash in.
“If that is the case, we’ll cross that bridge when we get there. I just want him to heal as quickly as possible. He can recover back in London if it comes to that, once he’s conscious.” Two stands tall, leaning toward the doctor. The couple of inches he has in height over the doctor have little to do with the dominating presence he was giving off.
“Well, that’s not all there is to it. When _-- Vessel wakes up, he might not be able to walk or talk. He will most likely need serious rehabilitation to regain the level of function he lost.” Lilas hears the doctor’s tone shift from consoling a patient’s loved one to trying to play up the problems. She also sees Two’s gaze narrow further every time the doctor uses Vessel’s legal name. There is nothing to say Vessel will need all the care they suggest for him, provided they wake him up when his scans are within normal limits. Lilas knows. She will protest any unnecessary treatment. She will advocate for the progress he can make. Two’s defiant gaze at the doctor only fuels that decision.
“Yes Dr. Nguyen. I expect him to make a full recovery. Thank you for your time. I’d like to let Nurse Flood get back to her duties rather than listening to us talk. I believe you’ve said all you needed to say.” There was a particular poison to how Two spoke and Lilas enjoyed it like it was sugar and cinnamon on her toast.
“Uh, yes Mr. ______. Uh! I mean Mr. Two..” This time Lilas caught the cringe at the sound of his own name. “Please don’t hesitate to request any other accommodations you require. We will keep you updated regarding Mr. Vessel’s condition.”
Without further blabbering, Dr. Nguyen ducked out fo the room. Two’s shoulders let down an inch, but the tension was still visible on his face. “How much of that prick’s projections were accurate?”
“Well, standard of care does dictate 10 days, but two weeks is what most insurance companies require to fully reimburse the stay and degree of care usually performed. As for long term care, that’s gonna depend on the effect of the coma. The shorter the coma, the less negative effects. For example, it takes a minimum of 72 hours without range of motion for a contracture to develop in a joint, and at least 14 days without movement for it to reach a stage where full range is threatened to never be recovered. But you need to know that the care we provide has little impact on brain damage at this point. Whatever damage occurred when he got hit, and the results of his body’s reaction before we put him in a coma will determine his outcomes.”
Two’s expression remains in an odd expression, made up by concerned eyebrows, panic in his eyes, and a mouth pressed into a line which appears to be fighting either a smile or a grimace.
“Basically, it’s impossible to know right now whether we’re expecting him to wake up with the capabilities of a 2 year old or like himself with some memory loss. It’s really irresponsible of me to tell you this but Sleep Token as you know it could be over. Forever.” Lilas spoke as if the words weren’t a sledgehammer to her own heart. She’d never even seen them live in person.
For some reason, Two’s eyes never lost their glimmer of reassurance. Was it denial? For as much optimism as Lilas wanted him to have, she didn’t want him to be blindsided when Vessel needed physical therapy and months off to recover.
“Dr. Nguyen wasn’t lying about needing rehabilitation though. He’s gonna lose muscle mass, range of motion, and cardiovascular fitness. Even in the best case scenario, I don’t think he’ll be ready to perform for at least a few months. I’ve seen people take a full year to recover from a coma. I don’t want to scare you now but I don’t want this to scare you either when you’re faced with it. Vessel isn’t just gonna sit up out of bed and walk out the door.” Two still looked far too relaxed for Lilas’s comfort. She didn’t want to see him sad but his entire reaction was strange, bordering on creepy.
“Don’t worry about me. We’ll get through this and Vessel will always be Vessel, no matter what he has to go through. He’s the strongest person I’ve ever known. Anyways, did you want me help washing him or not? I’ll take the gloves for this part actually, fucking stage paint.” Two reached up to the boxes of gloves beside the bed and pulled out a pair of medium gloves. If this is the stage he was in at this point, Lilas didn’t want to push him too far ahead.
“Alright then. So... You guys seems awful close for bandmates. The doctor kept calling you his partner.” She took Vessel’s hand and started wiping at the black paint on the back of it.
“Well, we’ve signed to be legally responsible for each other since we’re on the road so much and don’t have other family. We don’t trust label executives to be as committed to anonymity as we are.” Two spoke while watching the only the barest bits of paint lighten off the skin. “You’ll be at that all night before you clean even his hand off. These wipes aren’t exactly the right thing to remove this type of paint.”
“So what do you use?”
“Soap in a shower, but if we can’t shower and we want it off, usually baby oil on a cloth does the trick.”
Lilas snickered at the thought of the band members wiping themselves with baby oil to get the paint off. “That sounds...”
“Yes, very glamorous. I know.” Two is making more progress than Lilas, with most of Vessel’s hand around the IV wiped clean and moving on to his wrist. She starts trying to copy his firm, long strokes and starts seeing more of his pale skin being exposed.
For a moment, the rush of being in the same room as Vessel and Two surged into Lilas. Here he was, the man she’d thought so much about over the years, wondered who he really was, what he was like, lying unconscious right before her. As she thought about it, the itch on her back flared up again and she was irritated with ignoring it.
“You seem to be making more progress than me anyways, I’m gonna step out for a minute. Push this button if he starts seizing or stops breathing or starts waking up or anything. I won’t be gone very long.”
Two nods and his eyes trail her hand reaching up at her back as Lilas walks out the door. She as she enters the staff restroom, she pulls her scrub top and undershirt up and cranes her neck around to see her back. She expects to see some type of rash or some cause of the intense itch between her tattoos but there is only evidence of her own scratching. Red lines running in all different directions as she’s tried to discreetly attack the frustrating sensation. She puts her shirts down again for a moment and goes to her locker. She digs around for a tube of hydrocortisone cream and returns to the restroom to messily smear it across all the skin she can reach. Maybe it’s just dry skin, she thinks to herself. Yep, that’s the only logical explanation.
She finishes coating her back, tucks her now very unpleasantly clinging undershirt back into her pants, and smooths her scrubs. Walking back onto the unit, she decides to check on her other patient before rejoining Two. Lilas nods briefly at Matthew and the other security guard before entering room 13. Its 1:30am, almost time to hang a bag of tube feed. A quick glance at the catheter bag and ostomy shows neither is more than a quarter full. The respiratory therapist has suctioned his trach recently, so his oxygen saturation fluctuates in the upper 90s. The other vitals are automatically monitored as well, and the bed whooshes with it’s alternating pressure system.
Please don’t turn out like this, Vessel. The world needs you. People like me. People like your bandmates.
She leaves the room to return to the company of Two. As odd as it is to have a patient visitor overnight, its surprisingly comforting to not be fully alone. Lilas grabs a few more packages of wipes from the warmer. She scans the supply cabinet, snagging two tubes of petroleum jelly ‘chapstick’ and decides no-rinse body wash is the closest she’ll get to baby oil here. It comes in little 4 oz bottles, in case the patient only needs it once. She grabs four bottles. Everything in the ICU is disposable. Including the workers.
Matthew opens the door for her, and Lilas enters to find Two caressing Vessel’s jawline with the wipe while hovering very close to his ear. Almost like he was whispering something to him. Hearing Lilas enter, he straightens up slowly.
“I figured this might work a little better.” She said, showing the rinse-free soap. “Also, these are for his lips. That’s all we have for chapstick but he’s gonna need it applied several times a day while he’s li- ... like this. Most care plans only require we apply it twice a day after oral care, but in my experience that isn’t enough to keep the lips from cracking.” Lilas passed the finger-sized tubes of petroleum jelly to Two. Scanning the rest of Vessel’s body, his entire torso is still painted. “I see you’ve made a lot of progress without me. I hope this stuff helps or we’re gonna be at this all night.”
Lilas opens the cap, peels off the inner foil and douses Vessel’s entire chest with it without replacing the cap with the smaller spout. With a fresh body wipe, she begins massaging small circles on Vessel’s pec, finally seeing the paint come off easier.
“Oh this works, thank Sl- uh- thank god.” Lilas cuts off her usual joking Sleep Token reference, which has become a part of her natural speech.
Two’s eyes break from where he’s working on Vessel’s cheek to search her face. “What did you just say?”
Lilas feels her embarrassment surge and the itch across her back twinge again. “I said the body wash was wor-”
“No, the other thing. Before you said thank god.” Two’s expression was serious but free of anger. Instead it seemed to have optimism creeping in. “Did you almost thank Sleep?”
Lilas’s eyes burned down at her own hands washing Vessel’s chest. “Yeah, I uh.. Say that sometimes. It’s kind of a joke because I don’t believe in any Christian or Catholic or other religion’s god, so I wanted to stop calling them ‘mine’ and thanking them. Your band said Sleep is a god, and in case you can’t tell by me being a nightshift nurse, sleep is elusive to me so I might as well call it my ‘god’. I’m sorry if that offends you. I never thought I’d be in a room with any Sleep Token band member, let alone Vessel himself. I’ll be mindful not to say it.”
“No its...” Two’s face briefly flashed excitement before he reigned it in toward neutral. “It’s fine. I don’t mind if you say it, and it’s not offensive. You said you’re a bit of a fan earlier, but we don’t talk about Sleep in the music. That means you’ve at least read the interview, but I think it’s a bit more than that. Am I wrong?”
“No.” Lilas responded softly. “Please don’t fire me as his nurse. I’m not here to do anything weird, I’m going to take such good care of him if you’ll let me. The other nurses here don’t care, and the doctors just see you as money bags to be milked. Please Two, I can’t see him like this and not stay to see him get better... It’s like something in my chest is hurt by it, like he’s family, or someone I know.”
“Lilas-” Two started just to be cut off.
“I know I’m just another fan and I don’t know anything about you guys except the music. But I’ll be the best nurse he can get here, I swear.” Her pleading wobbled until her voice cracked on the last word.
“Lilas!” Two’s voice broke through her spiraling. “It’s okay. I’m not going to fire you as his nurse. If anything I’m going to request that he has you for all your available hours. I’m actually happy that you’re this much of a fan. I trust you more knowing you’re devoted to him like this, and you seem like a great nurse from what I’ve seen tonight.” A genuine smile spread across his face.
Relief flooded her body but the crawling feeling in her skin didn’t abate. “Really?”
“Yes. Vessel will be relieved too. If he could hire a hospital team exclusively of fans like you, he probably would, though he wouldn’t need it often since he’s generally in great health. You will help us get through this situation. We need your help.”