Chapter Text
THIS IS THE FIRST CHAPTER OF A WORK, COME BACK EVERY WEEK FOR A CHAPTER!!!!
San Sperate is now ruled by Joseph Stalin.
Everything feels different now that he is in charge, he is slowly isolating the town from everyone and started do illegalize leaving the town, so that led to every south sardinian to start buying peaches from Assemini,causing an economic crisis in San Sperate. (dumb Joseph did this to himself)
Since Joseph cant take this criticism from the San Sperate citizens, he ordered the production of spy robots called 'Nixons', led ofc, by Richard Nixon.
These are high intelligenge robots that listen to every conversation, in order for the citizens to not criticize Stalin or the government. if you were caught plotting against the government, you would be brought to Lyndon Johnson, the scariest, weirdest detective ever.
Why is he so scary?
First of all, hes scary because he is tall as fuck, he invades your personal space and is very prone into giving you a panick attack and making you confess, he gets informations every time and never failed. And why is he weird?
Because if you somehow manage not to have a panick attack and not confess, he will lock the door, making you want to leave, and starts gooning while he stares at you, making you want to leave even more, and you know, that in order to leave, you MUST confess, and they will momentarily let you leave, but if the police department confirms that you are actually guilty, they lock you up in the Gennargentu mountain, (actual place irl) about an hour and a half away from San Sperate, in the middle of the sardinian territory...
One day, Stalin had enough of ppl buying peaches from Assemini so he sent an army of about 6000 men and women (San Sperate's population is about 9000 ppl) to invade Assemini, and they won in less than 10 minutes cuz San Sperate is the best duh.
When the news reached them, Nixon, LBJ, and Stalin, decided to unify the territory and name it 'The Great Kingdom Of San Sperate' very basic shit and ugly ass name, they should have named it 'the great kingdom of cum and lube'
As Stalin attacked Serramanna a few months later, and 5 rebels had enough of this. These five rebels are John Kerry, John Edwards, Franklin Pierce, Jimmy Carter and George Walker Bush. These people lowk wanted Stalin gone and they started to plot passing notes to eachother in order not to talk and be heard by the Nixons and getting busted in front of by LBJ.
The first one to start this notes passing was Carter, whos very fond of peace and freedom for everyone.
The note said: 'guys pass this to the whole group im lowkey tired of this shit by dicktator stalin lets create a revolution and find other fellow revolutionaries cuz ts sucks'
The other 4 revolutionaries read it and all agreed, especially Kerry and Edwards because they are gay and love eachother, but lgbt is banned even though Stalin is obiouvsly gay for Sestu's mayor, Leon Trotsky. This is one of the reasons why the nixons are around. Everyone was saying that these two were gay, and since Stalin cant handle being called gay, he made it illegal to call him gay or be a part of LGBTQIA+, FUCKING DICKHEAD.