Archive of Our Own

Buck hadn’t gone a day without crying in weeks. It had been nearly a month since they left Chim’s body on Mars, frozen in whatever horrid way he died, since the atmosphere there would never be capable of decomposing his corpse. 

Chim was dead.

Buck couldn’t stop thinking about Maddie, back on Earth, seeing the news. Her grieving her husband, all while knowing that her brother failed at keeping him alive. Or even having the decency of bringing her husband home to rest. 

Every time Eddie left him to go do his portion of Chim’s work, it hurt more. Eddie and Ravi were covering most of Chim’s work, with the remainder left to Bobby to do. 

It helped a little that, much like Buck, Hen hasn’t been able to enter Chim’s lab either. 

Solidarity, and whatnot. 

Still, though, Buck could tell Eddie wanted to help but didn’t know how. None of them did. Bobby was making them do mandatory group grief therapy sessions together, but it seemed that out of all of them, it was eating at Bobby the most. Or maybe he was the only one with the words to express it. 

Buck’s mind was a dangerous neighbourhood to walk through alone, but lately, he didn’t have a choice. His thoughts were a jagged loop of "what-ifs" that played in high definition every time he closed his eyes.  

It wasn't like the crew didn't know the trip could be dangerous – takeoff was dangerous, space travel was dangerous, working on Mars was dangerous. There were a thousand ways for them to die on the mission. Maybe Buck was naive to think that the risks weren't that insane, not with them being the third mission to Mars, not with all of the testing NASA does for every piece of equipment involved. 

It was a freak storm, he reminded himself. 

The reminder didn’t help. It never did. 

He kept thinking about Chim’s suit. It was rated for six hours of life support. In Buck’s darker moments – the ones that came at 3:00 AM ship-time – he did the math on those six hours.

Had Chim woken up? Had he spent his final hours in the dark, watching the battery life on his life support tick down to zero while looking up at a sky that didn't have enough atmosphere to even carry his voice?

Did he see the MAV taking off as they left him to die?

He rolled onto his side, pulling his knees up. It was going to be a long trip home.

A six-man crew was selected to go to Mars, and for the first time, two of the crew members were family. 

It’s not like this was a huge shock since they were both applying for the same mission, but Buck and Chim were both selected to go to Mars. 

They quickly made a plan to tell Maddie. They were going to make her a very lovely dinner, and break the news according to a script Annie, NASA’s head of communications, helped them write. It was a flawless plan. 

From the moment they were selected, they had a few days to plan how to tell their loved ones before the information was released to the world. Chim, apparently, took the first day to avoid Maddie. It’s not like she didn’t know that Chim was preparing for this at all, but the reality of it crashed down on Chim. Hard. 

Buck knew Maddie understood the reality of both of them training to go – they were trained in different fields, and it was a possibility that they both were selected. 

Still, though. It was one thing for it to be a possibility, another to tell Maddie that both her brother and husband were leaving for a year and a half. They spent the second day after receiving the news brainstorming with Annie, bugging Hen for tips on how she was going to tell her family (which was totally a bust, Karen was in the room when they found out who was going on Ares III. Duh. They’re, like, the it couple of the science world. It’s sickening.), and joking that Maddie was going to disown them for both leaving Earth. 

Buck went home that day with a beautiful write-up from Annie waiting in his email, emotionally exhausted from role-playing the conversation over and over with Annie and Chim. Annie, as Maddie, had acted out what seemed like the entire spectrum of human emotion to help Buck and Chim prepare, so Buck was feeling okay about it. Hell, he had been excited about going to Mars most of all, but the terrifying bit of telling Maddie dampened that slightly. 

Chim went home that day and apparently blurted everything to Maddie. For a scientist who has worked on relatively classified missions, Chim cannot, for the life of him, keep his mouth shut. It’s as endearing as it is frustrating. 

Naturally, not one to pass up an opportunity to mess with her brother, Maddie had told Chim not to tell Buck he spilled the beans. 

Chim (allegedly) cried when he heard he had to keep something else to himself like this, but when Buck showed up for dinner the next night, Chim was acting as normally as Buck expected him to be, which was not normal at all. Buck was none the wiser, thinking that Chim was just nervous about telling Maddie. 

Maddie played her part beautifully, crying and demanding that they find a way to bring her with them. Annie had not prepared them for this. Buck was left floundering until Chim broke down in laughter, Maddie joining in. 

They told her that the Ares III families were planning get-togethers, that NASA was planning a Christmas bash for everyone. Maddie didn’t really care at the time, focused more on gushing about how two of her favourite people in the world were achieving their life’s dreams. 

It was a fun night. Even though they weren’t leaving for another two years, they got wine drunk to “make up” for all the wine nights they would miss, and Buck woke up the next day feeling more disgusting than ever but also lighter than ever. He was going to miss her, but it was going to be okay. 

He was going to space!

Bobby tried to make it Christmas, but no one was feeling any sort of holiday spirit. Soft Christmas music was playing during breakfast and lunch, but even though their schedule had made it a maintenance day so that they had time to celebrate, they all went back to work for the afternoon. 

About mid-afternoon, Buck saw there was an email sent out addressed to the entire crew that was a scheduled send from Chim.

Buck couldn’t stop reading the message. He knew he needed to call over the crew since it was a message for all of them – Bobby, at least – but he couldn’t make a sound when he opened his mouth. He just re-read Chim’s email over and over. 

When the screen dimmed, Buck wiped the tears from his eyes. Like a magnet, the door to Chim’s lab pulled his attention. The plants were in there. Waiting. Waiting for Chim to wake up Christmas morning to show the crew the stowaways he brought aboard. 

When was the last time Chim checked on them? Early November at the latest. What if they were all dead? What if the entire crew had failed Chim, and they didn’t even know it? 

Buck could hide it. If he wanted. He could go check on the plants. If they were all dead, he could delete the email. No one would know. The secret could die with Buck. With Buck and Chim. 

Buck got up, stalking over to the door quietly. 

He froze in front of the door, and his hand floated, inches away from the handle. 

No one else was around. Bobby had locked himself in his office. Ravi was in his bunk. Eddie was in the gym, running on the treadmill. Buck wasn’t sure where Hen was, but he knew she wouldn’t be in this lab. 

Nobody would know, he thought as he opened the door. 

The lab was quiet. Chim played music while he worked, usually. Or talked. The guy could yap. Especially about his plants. Or soil. Or bacteria. 

Tucked away in the back corner, there was a cabinet that went from the floor to the ceiling. It wasn’t out of place, possibly built-in, but it was tucked away and looked untouched. Had Chim been planning this with NASA all along?

The door to the cabinet opened like a fridge, showing off 5 shelves of plants, each with its own grow light and what Buck assumed to be water/fertilizer dispensers. 

The plants were fine. Thriving, probably. Not that Buck knew what a thriving plant looked like. Chim wasn’t exactly wrong when he said that Buck has killed a ton of plants. 

Buck let the door shut and turned away from it, slumping against the steel surface of the door. He slid to the ground, bringing his knees to his chest, and cried. 

Bobby’s herbs were clearly overdue for a pruning, but they were luscious and full. Bobby would love them. Buck was pretty sure Bobby would cry at the sight of them without even knowing that Chim had grown them for him. 

Hen’s orchid was gorgeous. Its flowers were bright orange in full bloom. For a moment, Buck thought about Chim and Hen meeting at that airport. He’s heard the story enough times to be able to imagine it. It was about fifteen years ago, and Chim had a headache from the long flight from Guatemala, so he sat down in the quietest corner he could find in the airport, letting his notes and drawings spill all over the table in front of him. Hen had also been in that corner, ducked down and hiding from sight, overwhelmed by the airport. Chim knocked over her coffee, and after buying her a new one, they just clicked.

The Venus Fly Trap looked insane. Bright and vibrant, just as healthy as any of the plants Buck’s seen in Chim and Maddie’s house. The opposite of any plant Buck had ever owned. It was captivating. Chim chose that for him.

Eddie’s lavender was beautiful, too. The smell of it was nearly overwhelming when Buck had opened the door, but for a moment, Buck wasn’t breathing in the same stale air that gets recycled through the ship. For a moment, Buck was standing in the extremely fragrant flower garden that Chim had in the backyard of his and Maddie’s house. 

Ravi’s two flower pots had tiny pipettes next to them, ready to be part of the next experiment Ravi and Chim were meant to get lost in. 

Fuck.

Buck wasn’t sure how much time had passed when Eddie found him. 

“Hey?” Eddie said, stepping into the lab and triggering the overhead lights with the motion sensors. “Hey.” 

Buck let out a breath that was more of a sob. He stopped crying a bit ago, but with every step Eddie took closer to him, his throat got tighter all over again. 

“Buck,” Eddie murmured gently, crouching down next to him. “What’s wrong?”

Buck tipped over into Eddie’s embrace, ignoring the man’s noise of surprise as he took on most of Buck’s weight against him. “Chim’s gone,” Buck rasped. 

Eddie sighed, weary and heavy. “I know, baby, I know,” he replied mournfully, tucking Buck into his arms and getting comfortable on the floor of the lab.

“No,” Buck huffed, voice strained. “He’s gone, and he – do you have your tablet?”

“Yeah?” Eddie sounded confused, but grabbed his tablet from where it was lying on the floor next to him. 

God, this was going to hurt Eddie. So much. Buck could wait, just a moment, and hold onto all the pain himself. Bobby said that talking about it helped. How could it? Knowing that he was spreading such devastating grief by making them all read that email? 

“Email,” Buck said, voice strained. 

“Okay,” Eddie whispered back, probably too confused with Buck’s emotional state to question much right now. 

“From –” Buck exhaled. “Scheduled. From Chim. To all of us.” 

Eddie made a sound like he was hit in the solar plexus, but he opened the email anyway. He was quiet and completely still as he read the whole thing.

“Oh,” Eddie breathed, and then he broke.

“Do not mess up the dynamic of the crew by fucking one of them,” Annie threatened, wagging a finger in Buck’s face. She was smirking, like she wanted to laugh, but there was an intensity in her eyes that Buck took seriously. 

“Ew,” Buck gagged. “Chim and Hen are like siblings to me, first of all. And Bobby is happily married. And, do you know how young Ravi is?” 

Annie honestly guffawed. “That’s not a complete list, Buckley.” 

“Who, Eddie?” Buck forced a laugh. It was harsh and fake. It wouldn’t fool anyone, let alone Annie. “He’s, like, my best friend!” 

“And my husband is mine,” Annie replied smoothly. 

“I’m not going to sleep with Eddie!” Buck semi-yelled and winced. 

They were alone in Annie’s office, late enough that all of the other astronauts were in their quarters or at home after training and such. 

Of course, Mitch was still there in the office next to Annie’s, apparently. Buck’s outburst had been loud enough to draw his attention, and he danced his knuckles on the door frame as he strolled into the room, trying to cover his smile with his hand. 

“Dr. Buckley, are you having issues with a fellow crewmember?” he asked with a small laugh. 

Annie was already laughing, so Mitch broke pretty quickly. 

Buck pouted. “Guys, not fair.” 

“Any more burning declarations you care to exclaim, um, loudly, in your place of work?” Mitch continued. 

“I just said I wasn’t going to sleep with him!” Buck tried to defend himself, but not a single person in the room believed his protests. “I know the rules!” 

Annie hummed while Mitch continued to giggle, settling down in the chair next to Buck. 

“It seems like the rules haven’t stopped you from mooning after him anyway,” Mitch said. 

“Was that a fucking space pun?” Annie grumbled, and Buck couldn’t help but laugh. 

“That’s completely subjective and unsubstantiated,” Buck argued. “It is possible, under certain circumstances, someone could have misinterpreted the look on my face.” 

“Oh, they grow up so fast,” Annie said as she faked wiping a tear away. “I’ve media-trained you so well.”

The three of them laughed, but Buck sobered quickly. 

“I’m not going to jeopardize the mission,” he said quietly. “It’s – I know – ugh. I know why you’re talking to me, and I’m not going to sleep with him, or anything. He – Eddie’s straight.”

Buck wasn’t sure who screamed louder: him, Eddie or Chim. 

It was the middle of the night, so only Eddie was supposed to be awake, on call for any issues with the ship or crew. Buck, naturally, opposed sleeping alone in his bunk without Eddie, even though it had only been under a week since they started sleeping together. What’s a couple of hours of sleep lost if he could spend it mooning after his boyfriend, who looked all doctor-y and hot? 

They were keeping it on the low, obviously. 

What they didn’t account for was Chim, covered in blood, walking in on them, mid-makeout. 

By the time Buck was able to breathe again, Eddie had already crossed the room to Chim, who was having quite a bad nosebleed. 

“I woke up like this,” Chim lisped, the congestion making his words sound garbled. 

“Right,” Eddie said, getting into medic-mode immediately. 

“I was having a pretty good dream, actually,” Chim continued, speaking through the gauze Eddie was shoving at his face. “And then I woke up to a nightmare, covered in blood. Like Carrie. And then I walked over here for help, only to walk into another nightmare.”

Buck made a strange squeaking sound, and Eddie flushed a deep red. 

“Yeah, uh, about that…” Eddie said as he checked to see if the bleeding had slowed any. 

“–you can’t tell anyone!” Buck cut in. 

Goddamnit. 

Except for Bobby walking in on them, this was easily the worst possible scenario. 

“So…” Chim said, voice nasal and gross. 

“Ugh,” Buck groaned. “Don’t.”

“But I have questions,” Chim whined. 

“And I would be happy to answer any questions,” Eddie started, ignoring Buck’s noise of protest, “about nosebleeds.” 

“Bo-ring,” Chim grunted. “I can’t tell anyone, and I can’t ask questions? What am I supposed to do with that?” 

“Chim.” 

“Evan.” 

“Howard,” Buck said, a little more forcefully than before. 

“Buuuuuck,” Chim said, a shit-eating grin on his face, partially covered by the monstrosity of gauze on his nose. He looked like an idiot. 

Buck sighed. There was no getting out of this, and they all knew it. Eddie looked slightly amused at least, eyes bouncing between Chim and Buck staring at each other. Chim pumped his fist in the air with a small cheer. 

“So, who made the first move?” Chim asked, beaming at the both of them. 

Buck looked down at the floor and blushed. 

“I did,” Eddie muttered, looking equally flustered. 

“I knew it!” Chim crowed. 

“What does that mean?” Buck asked, but Chim ignored him. 

“When? Where?” Chim pressed, looking at Eddie with bright eyes. 

As much as Buck wanted to be annoyed, it was nice to be able to talk about it. It was nice to see Chim so happy about the development, too. 

“...last week,” Eddie mumbled. 

“What? It’s – but – on the ship? I thought this would’ve happened, like, a year ago!” Chim sputtered. “You guys have been all – like that – since the beginning of training!” 

“No, we haven’t!” Buck argued, laughing. He was pretty sure he kept his crush on Eddie pretty under the wraps, thank you very much. 

“Maddie and I have been arguing about this for months! Are you kidding?” Chim said, pulling some of the gauze away from his face. 

“You’ve talked about this with Maddie?” Buck gasped. 

“Yeah, duh,” Chim replied, and Buck heard Eddie laugh. The traitor. “She thought it was so funny that I would be stuck on the ship, unable to avoid the two of you pining for each other. Or whatever was happening. We knew it was something…” 

“Well,” Buck breathed, looking over at Eddie, “it’s definitely something.” 

“Yeah,” Eddie said quietly, smiling contently at Buck. 

“Ugh,” Chim gagged. “You guys are so gross.”

“Chim!” Eddie barked out a laugh.

“I have to see you and my sister be all sappy together,” Buck said, giggling. “This is payback.”

“No, I regret being the person who knows this,” Chim groaned. “I’m burdened by this knowledge. Just kill me.”

Buck slumped against Eddie on the couch, cuddling as close as he dared in a common space. 

Eddie grunted, but shifted his body towards Buck so that he could lean on Eddie more comfortably. 

“I hate that no one knows again,” Buck whispered. “It’s – I didn’t want Chim to find out about us like that, or so soon, but fuck, it was kinda nice that someone knew.”

Eddie sniffled behind him, and Buck couldn’t bring himself to look over. “What I wouldn’t give to just be stressed that Chim was going to blab to everyone about it.”

Buck laughed wetly, covering his face with his hands as more tears sprang to his eyes. 

“It’s been a week,” Buck started, wiping his nose on his hoodie sleeve, “and I still can’t fucking believe it.” 

It was nice to be able to sit in the sadness with Eddie. It was different with each person on the crew, and Buck appreciated them all, but it was so comforting to sit with his person. 

“Neither can I,” Eddie replied. “Sometimes, I wake up thinking it was all a bad dream.”

Eddie seemed to collapse inward, his strength finally failing him. He turned his face into the crook of Buck’s neck, his forehead pressing hard against the pulse point there. Buck could feel the erratic, jagged rhythm of Eddie’s breathing against his collarbone.

Fuck it. Sure, they were in a common area, but the chances of Hen, Ravi or Bobby walking around and finding them were low. Everyone was keeping to themselves for the most part. 

Buck shifted, hooked a leg over Eddie’s, and pulled him in until there was no air left between them. He wrapped his arms around Eddie’s back, his hands bunching into the fabric of the hoodie, anchoring himself. He needed the weight. He needed to feel the physical reality of someone who was still here, still warm, still breathing.

“How am I going to talk to Maddie about this?” Buck whispered. 

Eddie sniffled, muted from where he was still hidden. “I think you just grieve with her. There’s nothing else to do.” 

“I keep thinking about the day they met,” Buck said, his voice straining against the lump in his throat. “Maddie had just gotten to Houston. She was so jumpy, hiding out in my apartment after everything that happened with her ex. I finally dragged her into work just to give her a change of scenery in a place I knew she’d be safe.”

Eddie shifted, resting his chin on Buck’s shoulder.

“We were sitting at one of those long, laminate-y tables in the North cafeteria, and she was staring at the window into one of the botany labs. She asked me how far you could take a sunflower into space and still have it turn to the sun.”

Buck let out a jagged breath. “I didn't have the answer. I've always been focused on all the tech shit, not botany. But Chimney was sitting two tables over. We’d talked maybe twice in the halls before, maybe at one of those huge events or whatever, but he heard her. Didn't even hesitate to answer. He just spun his chair around and said some shit like, ‘Actually, it’s not about the distance, it’s about the luminosity. And a sunflower is too stubborn to give up on the sun just because of a few million miles.’”

Eddie huffed a soft, wet laugh at Buck’s half-hearted impression. “Sounds on brand.”

“He talked her ear off for an hour,” Buck whispered, a tear escaping and disappearing into the fabric of his sleeve. “He explained heliotropism like it was the most romantic thing in the universe. It was the first time I’d seen her smile – really smile – since she arrived. And that was it. That was the start. If he hadn't jumped in that day, I don’t think I ever would have really talked to him. That…Maddie wouldn’t be as happy as she is now. I wouldn’t be friends with him. I wouldn't have pushed for the Ares III slot. I wouldn't even be on this ship, Eddie. It started with him.”

Buck’s grip on Eddie’s flight suit tightened until his knuckles went white.

“He has a full planter of sunflowers in their garden back in Houston,” Buck choked out. “Giant ones. Just for Mads. I know you’ve seen the garden – there’s all sorts of shit happening, experiments, weird-looking plants that no one except him has ever seen. But he wanted her to be able to look out the kitchen window and see sunflowers.”

Eddie gripped Buck a little tighter after that. 

“It’s so quiet, Eddie,” Buck choked out, burying his face in Eddie’s hair. “I hate how quiet it is. I want him to be annoying. I want him to tell me a stupid, fun fact that I already know. I want him to tease me about how I’m being too clingy and that you need room to breathe.”

Eddie reached up, his hand fumbling until he could cup the back of Buck’s head, holding him forehead-to-forehead. “You’re not clingy. Don’t move. Just... don’t move.”

They stayed like that for a long time.

The “Hermes Open Mic Night” was entirely Chimney’s fault. He had insisted that if they didn't engage in creativeexpression, their brains would turn into the same grey mush as the dehydrated breakfast sausages.

"I’m not doing it, Chim," Eddie said, leaning against the bulkheads of the galley, arms crossed tightly over his chest. "I have no talent."

"Everyone has a talent, Eddie! It’s about the soul," Chimney proclaimed, standing atop a storage crate with a whisk held like a microphone. He was wearing a makeshift cape made from a thermal emergency blanket that crinkled loudly every time he moved. It was so, so horrible, and Buck loved every second of it. "It doesn’t have to be a production! Last week, Hen gave us a dramatic reading of the user manuals. It’s your turn."

Buck sat at the table, vibrating with suppressed laughter. He had already gone this time, so he was safe. He juggled a few bottles and mixed some “drinks” (aka, mixed electrolyte packages into water), leaning on his brief stint as a bartender from when he was still in school. 

"Go on, Eddie," Buck encouraged, his eyes bright. "The bar is incredibly low. Chim just spent ten minutes trying to beatbox the theme to Friends.” 

“Bite me,” Eddie muttered under his breath before loudly saying, “And how am I supposed to follow that act, huh?”

“Many people find my karaoke skills and acapella skills intimidating,” Chim drawled, “but I think you can rise to the challenge, Mr. Army-Doctor-Astronaut man. There’s no way you don’t have any talent.” 

Eddie sighed, heavy and weary like the world was on his shoulders. “Okay, but I’m not answering questions about this.”

“What?” Chim screeched. “How can you introduce your act with that?”

“That’s a question,” Eddie replied haughtily. “And if anyone outside of this crew finds out I did this, I will...” 

“Threatening violence is not legal,” Bobby offered half-heartedly. 

“...release your medical files,” Eddie finished. 

“Also illegal.”

Eddie rolled his eyes, but unzipped his hoodie, whipping it onto the seat next to Buck. Buck was a fan of whatever was about to happen immediately, and so was Hen, who wolf-whistled. 

“Not – I’m not stripping,” Eddie squawked. 

Everyone but Bobby booed. Eddie blushed as he fiddled with his phone, and an old-school hip hop beat started up. 

Oh my god.

Eddie shoved the storage crate over, his arm muscles straining. Was this the talent? Buck was extremely on board with this. 10/10, no notes. But Eddie was only making space in front of the crate. 

And then he…started dancing?

Like, genuinely dancing. 

Buck knew Eddie could move – they’d been sleeping together for a bit, and Buck had been lucky enough to see so many of the ways Eddie could move. But not like this. 

Turned out, Eddie had inhuman control over his body. His shoulders should not have been able to twist like that without dislocating, yet every one of Eddie’s moves was so smooth. Eddie moved around their makeshift stage area, taking up the space like it was his own. 

It was fucking magical.

Buck was enraptured. It would be more embarrassing if he knew the crew was looking at him, but he couldn’t imagine anyone having eyes for anything but Eddie right now. God, he wished that no one else were here. 

Wait. 

Could he convince Eddie to do an encore? With just the two of them? 

Eddie wasn’t even dancing that provocatively, but this was hotter than any strip show Buck had ever seen. He tried to turn his brain on long enough to figure out how quickly he could get Eddie out of here and back into one of their bunks, but every thought stalled. He couldn’t think about anything but Eddie in this moment. 

Christ. 

Ravi! Ravi was on watch tonight, which meant he was going to be holed up near the gym, and the bunk next to Buck’s would be empty. Holy fucking jackpot.

Eddie finished his dance, arms extended out and breathing heavily. His skin was glistening, and Buck wanted to lick him. Everyone burst out in applause, standing up and whooping. 

“A ringer!” Chimney shrieked, jumping up from his chair with his emergency-blanket cape crinkling like a forest fire. “We have a ringer! Diaz, you’ve been holding out on us! Where did you learn to move like that?”

Eddie was laughing now, his face flushed a deep, handsome red as he reached for his hoodie. “I told you, no questions.”

“Oh, there will be questions,” Hen chimed in. “Maybe not now, but someday. We will get our answers, Diaz.”

Eddie laughed, a little breathless, and reached for his hoodie. He pulled it on quickly, hiding the sweat-dampened shirt that Buck had been staring at far too intently. “Thanks, guys. But we’re never talking about it again.”

“No promises,” Chimney chirped. “Alright, who’s next? Ravi? You’ve been suspiciously quiet in the corner.”

Ravi, who had been leaning against the equipment locker, stepped forward with a shy grin. He pulled a battered deck of cards from his pocket. “I’ve been practicing something. It’s more of a mathematical probability thing than magic, but…”

Buck forced himself to sit back down. He kept his expression neutral, nodding along as Ravi started shuffling with a surprisingly steady hand. On the surface, Buck was the picture of a supportive teammate. He laughed at Chimney’s running commentary and leaned in to watch Ravi’s sleight of hand.

But internally, he was pretty sure he was vibrating.

He glanced at his watch. 01:14.

Ravi was supposed to start his watch shift at 01:30. That was sixteen minutes. Sixteen minutes of pure torture. 

Buck’s foot tapped a restless rhythm against the floor plating. He caught Eddie’s eye across the table. It was a brief moment that – hopefully – would have looked like nothing to anyone else. Eddie looked away first, focusing on Ravi’s cards, but he adjusted his position, his knee subtly brushing against Buck’s under the table.

“Pick a card, Bobby,” Ravi said, fanning the deck.

Five minutes passed. Then ten.

Buck felt like he was made of live wires. He’s pretty sure he missed the actual climax of Ravi’s trick, but he joined in the applause anyway when Bobby looked decently baffled.

“Alright, alright,” Bobby said, standing up and stretching. “That’s enough ‘creative expression’ for one night. Thank you all for your performances. And we’ve got a heavy maintenance cycle starting tomorrow. Ravi, get to your watch. The rest of you, get some rack time.”

Buck stood up instantly, perhaps a bit too fast, but he covered it by grabbing a few empty electrolyte pouches from the table. “I’m tired.”

Eddie didn't miss a beat. He stood up, shaking out his arms. “Right. Me too.”

“I hope you’ve both been sleeping well,” Bobby called out as they headed for the hatch. “Sleep is a mission requirement.”

The second the galley door hissed shut, and they turned the corner toward the sleeping quarters, the distance between them vanished. The mostly professional masks they wore for the crew fell away, replaced by the heavy, frantic energy building up in the last hour. Buck caught Eddie’s hand, his fingers lacing through Eddie’s as soon as they were tucked away from everyone else.

“That was the longest card trick in human history,” Buck whispered, his voice low. “I thought I was going to lose my mind.”

Eddie let out a short, breathy laugh, pulling Buck closer until their shoulders bumped against the metal hull. “You weren't the only one. I could feel you staring at me the whole time.”

“Shut up,” Buck groaned, his hands sliding up to cup Eddie’s face. “You are never allowed to do that in front of other people ever again. I think my brain actually short-circuited.”

“It was just a dance, Buck.”

“It was a religious experience,” Buck corrected, leaning in to catch Eddie’s mouth with his. “And Ravi is gonna be on watch tonight way on the other side of the ship. God, I’m going to die before we even get to my bunk.”

Eddie let out a low, gravelly chuckle, his hands finding the hem of Buck’s shirt. “Then stop talking and let’s go before Chimney decides he needs an encore.”

Buck was so angry that he swore he could actually see red. 

He’d been on the treadmill for nearly forty-five minutes, if the timer on it was right, and he was sweating bullets. Buck jumped off and bent over, his hands on his knees, while he tried to regain his breath. 

There’s no easy way to say this: Chim is alive. 

He lay down on the floor of the gym. Fuck it. It was gross, but he didn’t care right now. His body felt like it was falling apart, and his soul was already shattered. 

“Buck,” Eddie said gently from the entrance to the gym. 

“We left him. He’s going to die, knowing that we’re all on our way home,” Buck hissed. 

Eddie sighed. Buck didn’t have to look at him to know he had his hands on his hips, standing next to where Buck was throwing his tantrum on the floor. 

“NASA is working with him to figure out how to extend his food until Ares IV gets there. I know you heard Mitch say that.”

“Mitch is a bastard,” Buck said. 

He didn’t mean it. Buck was fully aware he was shooting the messenger here. Buck liked Mitch, actually. He was soft spoken and kind of awkward, but in an endearing scientist way. He always indulged Buck’s ramblings. Mitch was a good flight director, but Buck needed someone to hate right now. 

“Mitch was strongly against keeping this from us,” Eddie reminded him gently. “I know you heard him say that, too.” 

“Fine,” Buck huffed. “NASA is the asshole. I don’t know. Whoever decided not to tell us.”

“That’s better.” 

“Don’t patronize me,” Buck growled. 

“I’m not,” he frowned. “Let your feelings out, or whatever, but let me know when you’re ready to have an actual conversation about this.” 

“We are having an actual conversation,” Buck argued. 

“No, not yet, and that’s okay,” Eddie said, but he sounded tired. “I’m angry and – fuck, I don’t even know how I’m feeling. But they told us they have a rescue plan. A fucking rescue plan. He’s not going to die.” 

“You can’t know that.” 

Eddie sighed and lay down on the disgusting floor next to Buck. “I believe they’ll bring him back, okay?”

Buck hummed, not trusting what would come out of his mouth right now. 

“And I’ll believe it for both of us until you do, too,” Eddie said as he reached over and grabbed Buck’s hand, threading his fingers through Buck’s. 

“Thanks,” Buck whispered, feeling the anger drain out of him a bit when Eddie squeezed his hand. 

“Anytime,” Eddie whispered. 

Buck squeezed back.

Holy shit, this is actually happening. 

Buck took a deep breath, but he was restricted by his suit and seatbelt and actual seat on the Hermes, and the gravity was going to change, and he was going to feel so many fucking g’s during take–

“Hey,” Eddie whispered from the seat next to him. 

Buck closed his eyes tightly. 

“Oh, wow, he looks so peaceful when he sleeps,” Eddie said teasingly. “I can’t believe I almost woke him up.” 

Buck opened one eye and glared in Eddie’s direction. “Not funny.” 

“A little bit funny,” Eddie amended, but seemed unbothered by Buck’s mild anxiety attack. Totally mild, he was pretty much calm, actually. “I know you have a thing about planes. Does that extend to spaceships?” 

Buck grunted. 

“Why, no, Eddie, of course not. I’m an active astronaut, I’m not afraid of spaceships,” Eddie mocked, doing an absolutely horrible impression of Buck. 

“Has anyone told you that you’re an asshole?” Buck bit back, but Eddie’s familiar teasing was already making him feel all warm and gooey inside. “Because if no one’s told you that today yet, I volunteer.” 

“You’re so sweet to me,” Eddie replied, smirking. “Look at the bright side: it’s not like we have to spend the next year and a half together, locked in a confined space.” 

Buck’s stupid heart fluttered at the idea of that, and he took a deep breath. “It’s not like I don’t trust that Hermes can take off.” 

“I know,” Eddie said patiently, a more genuine smile crossing his face. “You fuckin’ built it.” 

“Did not,” Buck muttered. “I developed some of the code for it. Not – I’m not an aeronautics engineer or whatever the fuck.” 

“Since when are you humble?” 

Buck rolled his eyes, but he felt his shoulders dropping a bit. 

“T minus two minutes,” a voice rumbled from the speakers. “I repeat, t minus two minutes until take off.” 

Every muscle in Buck’s body clenched again. 

“Hey,” Eddie whispered, leaning over and holding onto Buck’s wrist as if he could feel Buck’s pulse through the suit. 

“Hi,” Buck replied through gritted teeth. 

“It’s gonna be okay.”

Eddie’s voice had a soft, calming cadence, and Buck tried to relax a bit. 

“I know that, logically,” Buck said, “but–” 

“But nothing,” Eddie interrupted cleanly, his hand sliding down to clasp Buck’s as best they could with the gloves on. 

Buck wished he could stop panicking long enough to think about the fact that Eddie is holding his hand right now. 

“But–”

“No.” Eddie squeezed Buck’s hand hard. “Stop it. We’ve prepared, NASA’s prepared, everyone’s prepared for this. It’s okay.” 

Buck squeezed Eddie’s hand back in acknowledgement, but focused on taking calming breaths. 

“Thank you,” Buck whispered. 

“Anytime.”

“So, why all the cloak and dagger?” Eddie said, twisting around in his chair. 

The secrecy of the whole Rich Purnell Maneuver stressed Eddie out, Buck knew. The file had not been what Buck expected when Ravi asked him to pretty please decode thefucked up file my mom sent me for photos of my niece’s birthday party, even though I don’t have a niece, what the fuck, but Buck felt a buzzing under his skin that he hadn’t felt since they were walking around on Mars with Chim. 

“Because it goes directly against NASA’s decision,” Hen said. 

“Yeah, and if we do the maneuver, they’d have to send the supply ship, or we die. We have the opportunity to, uh, well – force their hand.” Bobby walked around the table and sat down next to Buck. 

“So…are we gonna do it?” Ravi asked, wide-eyed. 

“Yes,” Buck said to the room. “Of – of course we do it.” 

“It’s not that easy, Buck,” Bobby warned, motioning for everyone to slow down a moment. “If it were my decision, we’d already be on our way.” 

“But it is, though, isn’t it?” Eddie pointed out. 

“Not this time. I won’t ask you to do this,” Bobby said, addressing the rest of the crew. “I’m not discussing this with you as your captain. Or even your coworker. I’m asking you, person-to-person, if this is something you want to do. If even one of you says no, we go home. We do this together, or not at all. I will take the heat for it. There will be no professional consequences to you for saying no.”

Bobby made a point to look at each one of them, forcing eye contact. 

“Now, that being said, there will most likely be professional consequences to saying yes,” he sighed. “This would be – and I do not use this word lightly – mutiny. NASA has expressed their wishes. By going against their decision, we would be disobeying direct orders on many levels. Diaz, you’re military. You could be court-martialled. The rest of us would be banned from going to space ever again, probably fired from NASA.”

“NASA’s making the wrong decision,” Hen piped up. 

“That’s not our call to make,” Bobby said, but his voice lacked conviction. “Consider the actual consequences. It’s space travel. If we mess anything up, we die. If we do everything perfectly, we add five hundred and thirty-three days to our mission.”

Silence echoed in the room. 

“Five hundred and thirty-three days before we see our families again.” Bobby rubbed his forehead. “Five hundred and thirty-three days of unplanned space travel where anything could go wrong. We all know this ship is designed for the entire mission, at least. It’s not even halfway through its lifespan. I would never ask you guys to do anything I didn’t think we could do. And we, as a team, would be able to handle this. I just want you all to know that should we choose to do the maneuver, I believe it’s possible. Achievable.” 

“I’m not sure I’ll want to leave Earth ever again, anyway,” Hen said, nearly whispering. “That’s more than enough for a lifetime.” 

Eddie hummed next to Buck. “Yeah,” he breathed. “I don’t give a shit what happens when we get back to Earth, frankly. I say we go for it.” 

“Would be a bad look to leave your soon-to-be-brother-in-law for dead,” Ravi snickered. 

The serious tone of the room broke in an instant. 

“Oh, so we’re talking about it now!” Hen crowed, laughing, while Buck sputtered and Eddie hid his face in his hands. 

“You guys knew?” Buck huffed, feeling his face heat up.

“...it’s a small ship,” Bobby muttered under his breath. 

Eddie was trying his best to regain control of the situation. “So, what would happen if we went through with the maneuver?” 

“Don’t think there won’t be a follow-up, boys,” Bobby warned, and Hen and Ravi, the bastards, both giggled. 

Buck groaned. “Anyway, I would have to erase NASA’s remote override systems, and then we’d be completely in charge of the ship.” 

“If we do this, it’s over nine hundred days in space,” Ravi said, probably still trying to grasp the magnitude of what they were leaving behind at home. “But I’m in.”

“Yeah,” Eddie breathed. “Me, too.” 

Hen rolled her eyes. “Obviously, I’m in.” 

Everyone looked to Buck, who responded with a smirk. “Does this seem like something I’d say no to?” 

“Buck,” Bobby chided, but he was smiling.

“Fine,” Buck huffed. “Aye, Cap, I want to go save Dr. Howard Han.” 

“Alright,” Bobby clapped his hands together, wringing them out a bit. “Hen, plot the course. Buck, make sure all the tech is in order. Eddie, I want an inventory of the medbay, and Ravi, food stores.” 

Buck looked around, and everyone was beaming. 

“Let’s go save Chimney!” Bobby said, looking lighter already.

“So…” Chim started, and Buck knew whatever bullshit that was about to come out of Chim’s mouth was going to piss him off. “What’s space sex like?”

Buck grimaced, marking his page before he closed his book. No way he was going to be able to get back to reading. 

Ugh. It had been so peaceful, curled up reading under one of the dome windows of the Hermes, nothing but stars above him. 

“You want to talk about my sex life? You? You want to hear about my sex life with Eddie?” 

Chim scowled for a moment. “Well, not really. I’m mostly asking out of…scientific curiosity.”

“Scientific curiosity?” Buck echoed. 

“Yeah,” Chim nodded, “since I can’t have sex with my beautiful wife–”

“–who is my sister, please stop–” 

“– in space, how am I meant to know what space sex is like?” Chim finished. 

“You’re not,” Buck argued. “Crewmates aren’t supposed to have sex with each other. So no one is supposed to know what space sex is like.” 

“Well, let me tell you a story.” Chim sat down in the other chair on the observatory deck. “Once upon a time, two of my crewmates began defiling our beautiful, pure, innocent spaceship–”

“Defiling the spaceship?” Buck laughed. 

“Yes. Desecrating Hermes. And I will never be able to!” 

Buck blinked. “Are you jealous?”

“What? No,” Chim immediately replied. “Zero gravity doesn’t seem conducive to, like… anyway, it’s more the fact that you’ve had sex on the ship. Like the Mile High Club. But a million miles. Do you think you’re the first people to join the million-mile club?” 

“Who knows?” Buck said instead of voicing his thoughts about the Ares II situation. Buck could have sworn that there was something in the air with that group. He suspected it was why two of the astronauts went through very public, messy divorces after. They were the NASA gossip for years. He shivered. He didn’t want him and Eddie to be gossip that the engineers spill while preparing for Ares IV. 

Chim hummed and looked pensive for a moment. “Okay, but…space sex? And I’m asking astronaut to astronaut. As your brother-in-law, I kind of want to die right now. But I’m curious. And I can’t even talk to Hen about it because then I’ll tell her. So, basically, you kind of owe this to me.” 

“What if I said we haven’t had sex?” Buck argued, just to wind Chim up. 

Chim scoffed. “Nice try. I walked in on you guys trying to eat each other’s faces months ago.” 

“And that’s all we’ve done,” Buck said with a smirk. “I’m not that kind of girl, Chim.” 

Chim had the audacity to laugh out loud. “Buckaroo, hate to break it to you, but you are that kind of girl. I still puke in my mouth a little whenever we go to the Watney Bar because of what I witnessed in the bar bathroom.” 

Well. Buck couldn’t even argue that. He had run into someone from his master’s who he used to hook up with, and she was leaving that night on a red eye…Taylor was, unfortunately for Chim, just as loud and shameless as she’s always been. 

“Fine,” Buck sighed. “For the record, zero gravity is fun.”

Chim gasped. “So you have defiled the ship!”

“Oh, my god.” 

“If you tell me it was in a common space, I’ll start screaming. Screaming bloody murder.”

Buck pressed his lips together.

“Buckley!” 

“Chim,” Buck said, even though there was no way to defend this. “Our bunks can’t go into zero gravity with the ship rotating.”

“I’m going to just keel over and die,” Chim said, throwing his head back against the chair, and Buck giggled.

“It’s…” Buck sighed. “It’s fun, I don’t know. Most of the time, it’s normal? Because we spend our time in our bunks…maybe sometimes the medbay if Eddie’s the one on call. We talked about whether we were the first, actually. But mostly he’s just really sweet.” 

“Please do not tell me what Eddie is like in bed,” Chim said, swatting at Buck’s arm. 

“You asked!” Buck exclaimed, before looking out of the observatory window again. “Sometimes, I feel like everything is too perfect, though.”

“What? The sex?” Chim scoffed, but when he saw the look on Buck’s face, his expression of disgust fell away. “How?”

“Like,” Buck sits up to bring his feet under him, tucking himself into the chair even more, “I’m in space, on the way to Mars, and that’s been my dream since forever. I’m in space with some of my favourite people in the world – no, don’t look smug, it’s not cute. Maybe I wasn’t talking about you.” Buck exhaled deeply. “I’m here, with my friends, my boyfriend, living out my dream. I just feel like something’s going to go wrong. Murphy’s law, you know?” 

Chim leaned over and patted Buck on the arm. “Bud, you can’t get in your head about it. Live the dream. You’ve worked your whole life for this, you know?” 

“Yeah,” Buck whispered, staring at the stars again. 

“Besides, I’m sure there will be some stupid thing that you’ll have to fix soon. Space travel is just like that,” Chim mused, unbothered. “Hey, how about this? Next time there’s some weird engineering problem I’m fixing, I’ll call you instead of Hen.”

“What?” Hen exploded. “What the fuck happened?” 

“We can’t talk to Chim anymore through Pathfinder, or, uh, at all,” Bobby repeated, clasping his hands together in front of him and shifting from side to side. “Well, it’s more accurate to say that NASA has lost contact with Chim. He left them a message in rocks, actually.” 

“Only Chim,” Eddie said with a laugh. “He’s fine, though, right?”

“Yes,” Bobby sighed. “He fried the Pathfinder accidentally. They already communicated the plan and the route he needs to take. But it’s not ideal to be out of communication.” 

“No shit,” Hen said solemnly. 

Bobby cast her a look. 

“Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong,” Buck whispered, mostly to himself. 

“Hey,” Eddie whispered next to him. “It’s fine. It’s Chim. He came back from the dead. On Mars.” 

“That’s not factually accurate,” Ravi fake-whispered from across the table. 

Buck and Eddie both chose to ignore him. 

“I know,” Buck whispered back. “But he’s just all alone up there again…”

“Not being able to talk to NASA is probably peaceful for him, if I had to guess,” Eddie replied with a soft laugh. “Can you imagine how much shit they’ve been asking him?” 

“So he’s going to be on his own for the next year?” Hen asked, and both Buck and Eddie snapped back into the main conversation. 

“Yes,” Bobby answered. “We won’t pick him up for another, uh, 363 days, to be exact.” 

“And he has to drive…3,200 kilometres, right?” Ravi asked. 

Bobby sighed. “Yeah. It’ll take him about forty days to drive there. Maybe fifty. But once he gets to Schiaparelli, he can use the MAV there to contact NASA again.” 

“That’s a long way away. He’s not even done fixing up the Rover,” Hen frowned. 

“Well,” Bobby exhaled, “NASA gave him the instructions for it already. I have faith that he can complete them.” 

“He’s basically building a mobile base,” Hen argued. “Without any sort of help.”

“I know,” Bobby replied. “He has the plan for how to fit everything he needs into a Rover and the trailer. We all know NASA did everything they could to make it the best with what he has and sent them overly detailed plans. We need to stay on course, he needs to stay on course, and then we’ll have him back up here where he belongs.” 

“Shit,” Hen said, dropping her head into her hands. 

“I hate that we can’t do more for him,” Eddie breathed. 

“Guys, I know that every single moment since that storm hit has been rough,” Bobby said, and Buck instinctively straightened up at Bobby’s Captain Voice. “And I know it’s horrible to have so much of this out of our control, but we’re going back to get him. We’re doing as much as we can. I wish…” Bobby trailed off when his voice cracked, but he cleared his throat and continued, “I wish that we didn’t have to do any of this at all, that none of this had ever happened, but we can’t change that.” 

“We’re doing all we can, and we will get Chimney back on this ship. We will go home to Earth, all six of us.” 

“NASA put us through a lot of training for emergencies – and I know this scenario wasn’t one we covered, but you all have risen to the challenge. Chimney has risen to every challenge he’s met. He’s survived on Mars this long, a lot of it without contact with NASA. I believe in him, and I know you all do, as well. That is what we can do for him right now.” 

Bobby paused and looked around the table at them. 

“Believe. Believe in all the genius ways he’s figured out how to survive an inhabitable planet, all of the death-defying stunts he’s surely pulled, every thwarted obstacle that cold, unforgiving planet has thrown at him. That’s not NASA’s team of geniuses throwing solutions at him. That’s Chimney. We’re going back for him because we believe in him.” 

“Yes, Cap,” Eddie said – probably instinctively, but Buck found that he was echoing Eddie, along with Hen and Ravi. 

Everyone looked a little lighter. A bit more hopeful, a bit more excited about everything. 

“And get ready for the story of a lifetime from the guy,” Bobby added, a softer, fonder lilt to the words from before. 

“I can already hear the lecture,” Hen joked, the weight in the room finally beginning to dissipate. “Back in my day, I drove across a planet without a GPS…”

"Distance 61 meters, velocity 2.3 meters per second," Buck said.

"No problem," Hen said, her eyes glued to her screens. 

One showed the camera feed from Docking Port A, the other a constant feed of the probe's telemetry, and Bobby floated behind Buck’s and Hen’s stations.

Buck’s heart fluttered a bit when Eddie’s voice came over the radio. "Visual contact." 

Eddie was in Airlock 3, fully suited up with the outer door open. Buck was nervous, with nothing but the suit between Eddie and the nothingness of space, but Eddie was stuck to Airlock 3 with magnetic boots, and there was an attached tether that led to a spool on the wall. It was fine. Eddie was only supposed to move if there was something wrong with the docking. 

It was fine. Eddie knew how to do his job, Buck reminded himself. 

"Panikkar," Bobby said into his headset, "You in position?"

"Yeah, in position and ready," he replied. He was also suited up, since he was the emergency EVA if Eddie needed rescue.

"All right, Wilson," Bobby said. "Bring it in."

"Aye, Captain."

"Distance 43 meters, velocity 2.3 meters per second," Buck called out.

"All stats nominal," Hen reported.

"Slight rotation in the probe," Buck said. "Relative rotational velocity is 0.05 revolutions per second."

"Anything under 0.3 is fine," Hen said. "The capture system can deal with it."

"Probe is well within manual recovery range," Eddie reported.

"Copy," Bobby said.

"Distance 22 meters, velocity 2.3 meters per second," Buck said. "Angle is good."

"Slowing her down a little," Hen said, sending instructions to the probe.

"Velocity 1.8...1.3…" Buck reported. "0.9 ... stable at 0.9 meters per second."

"Range?" Hen asked.

"Twelve meters," Buck replied. "Velocity steady at 0.9 meters per second."

"Angle?"

"Angle is good."

“Then we're in line for auto-capture," Hen said. "Come to mama."

The probe drifted gently to the docking port. Its capture boom, a long metal triangle, entered the port's funnel, scraping slightly along the edge. Once it reached the port's retractor mechanism, the automated system clamped onto the boom and pulled it in, aligning and orienting the probe automatically. After several loud clanks echoed through the ship, the computer reported success.

Perfect. 

“Docking complete," Hen said.

"Seal is tight," Buck said.

"Diaz," Bobby said, "your services won't be needed."

"Roger that, Captain," Eddie said. "Closing airlock."

"Ravi, return to the interior," he ordered.

"Copy, Captain," he replied.

"Airlock pressure to one hundred percent," Eddie reported. "Re-entering ship.... I'm back in."

"Also inside," Ravi said.

Bobby pressed a button on his headset. "Houst – uh, Jiuquan, probe docking complete. No complications."

Mitch's voice came over the comm. "Glad to hear it, Hermes. Report the status of all supplies once you get them aboard and inspected."

"Roger, Jiuquan," Bobby said.

Taking off his headset, he turned to Hen and Buck.

For a heartbeat, the bridge went silent, the only sound the hum of the life support and the faint whistling of the air vents.

Then, Hen let out a loud whoop, throwing her hands in the air, and even Bobby allowed himself a wide, toothy grin as he stood up to clap Ravi on the shoulder. Buck scrambled out of his seat, nearly tripping over a cable to pull Hen into a fierce, bone-crushing hug.

“We’re not gonna starve!” Hen laughed, hitting Buck’s arm. “We’re actually doing this. We’re going to save Chim.”

They were all moving at once, high-fives, messy hugs, and frantic, relieved laughter. For a few minutes, the weight of the mission lifted. They fucking caught Iris II. They had the fuel, they had the food, and they had the momentum to go save Chim. 

From the speakers, they could hear both Ravi and Eddie cheering over the comms, probably as they stripped out of their spacesuits. 

Ravi and Eddie crashed into the room moments later, all smiles and breathless laughter as they jumped towards them in their god-awful skin-tight cooling garments under the spacesuits. 

Eddie whooped, eyes bright and dancing around the room until they landed on Buck. Buck might have slightly pushed away from Hen, but the next thing he knew, he was wrapped around Eddie. 

Buck pulled back from his hug with Eddie, holding eye contact. Eddie’s eyes crinkled, and Buck knew they were thinking the same thing. 

Holy fuck. They were actually going to pull it off. They had everything they needed to go get Chim. Holy fuck.

Buck was the only one awake. He was on watch tonight, which was usually pretty boring. It’s not like an alarm wouldn’t wake them if there was an emergency in the middle of the night. 

But, regardless, it was protocol to have an astronaut awake at all times in case something went wrong. 

The new batch of Earth communications arrived at around 4 am, and Buck put his book down to check it out. With the three-minute lapse in communication, relayed videos were the closest the crew could get to talking to anyone on the phone. Usually, NASA either had a lot to say about what was going on or had questions about what had gone wrong, but this time, it was a video from Maddie that caught his eye. 

“Buck,” Maddie said in the video, looking exhausted as he’s ever seen her. “I know you’re going to be mad I kept this from you, but I wanted to make sure everything was okay first.” 

Buck’s heart dropped to his stomach.

“Earlier this week, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl,” Maddie continued, smiling softly. “She’s perfect. She’s healthy. I’m healthy. Everything is okay.”

“I know it’s shitty that I didn’t tell you. I didn’t want anything to compromise your safety on the mission. At first, that was my motivation. I knew you and Chim were going to miss the birth no matter what, and I didn’t want either of you stressing about this. I have so many people around me here to help. I know you’re going to be sad to have missed so much of this. Even angry, maybe. That’s okay.”

“Things changed during my second trimester. It was hard. I was technically a geriatric pregnancy – which is just about the worst term in the world – and then Chim–” Maddie broke off sniffling. “Chim died, and I didn’t know what to do. I was at risk of losing the baby. I didn’t want to put that on you. There was nothing you could have done.” 

“When Teddy Sanders showed up to tell me that Chim was alive, he was shocked. You should have seen the look on his face. I was just at the beginning of my third trimester, waddling around. Of course, I was more shocked than anything to find out that Chim was actually alive, and then everything got crazy. You guys didn’t know about Chim, and after they told you, I didn’t want to add more stress to the whole situation. I wanted you to focus on saving Chim.” 

Someone off-screen passed a bundle to Maddie, and she smiled, lighting up like the sun. 

“This is Lyra. Lyra Jee-Yun Han. Karen helped me pick it out, actually. Jee-Yun was the name of Chim’s mom, which was my original choice, but Karen suggested Lyra.” 

“The name is based on the term lyre, the instrument,” Maddie said, still looking down at the baby. “Here’s the story. In Greek mythology, it is the instrument Orpheus played, but it was invented by Hermes. After creating the lyre, Hermes goes on to steal fifty of Apollo’s cattle. Apollo, naturally, was pissed. When Apollo found Hermes, Hermes played the lyre to calm him down.”

“Apollo, though he was the god of music, was captivated by the lyre. He eventually gave Hermes a winged staff, making him the god of herdsman.”

“I don’t know,” Maddie shrugged ruefully. “I love the name, and it all seemed beautifully poetic.” 

“Anyway,” Maddie held Lyra up to the camera, tucking the blanket back so that Buck could see her squished face. “Buck, meet your niece Lyra. Lyra, meet your Uncle Buck. He loves you to Mars and back.”

The blue light of the computers on the walls glowed in the background, a stark contrast to the aggressive "Holiday Red" Bobby had programmed (read: Bobby had asked Buck to program) into the overhead strips. It was their second Christmas in space, and the atmosphere was thick with a strange, jittery energy. They were happy, but the holidays had snuck up on all of them, and the emotional whiplash of everything with Chimney this year left them all feeling a little weird. 

Bobby leaned against the galley frame, watching Hen hang up Christmas decorations with sticky tack, including some of the air fresheners Bobby had specially requested before the trip.

“I appreciate the effort, Cap,” Hen said, tilting her head towards Bobby, “but the pine tree air fresheners aren’t really hitting the same as a real Christmas tree.”

Bobby sighed, his shoulders dropping just a fraction. “I know. They were stronger last year, I guess.”

“We weren’t meant to be on the ship for this long,” Eddie murmured from the corner, where he was untangling a string of fairy lights from last year. Buck’s fairly certain he and Eddie were the ones tasked with taking down the decorations – they had gotten a little distracted and probably weren’t as meticulous as they could have been. Oops. 

Ravi sat next to Buck at the small communal table, staring intensely at a heavy, physical binder. It was an old-school laboratory log, with thick plastic sleeves and a reinforced spine. It looked incredibly out of place in a ship made of titanium and carbon fibre. Buck couldn’t remember the last time they used a logbook like that. 

“I wish we had a printer,” Ravi said sadly, fiddling with one end of it. 

Buck looked over at him in alarm. “A printer? What year are you living in?” 

Ravi glared at him. “I wanted to make…a scrapbook.”

“A scrapbook?” Buck echoed incredulously again. 

Ravi’s glare deepened. “I wanted to make a scrapbook for Chim. Of the experiment.” 

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.” Ravi crossed his arms and stared at the door to Chim’s lab. 

“Sorry,” Buck muttered. “I could help you make a digital one?”

“Not the same.” 

Buck nodded, but this was something he could do. “I can code a whole thing that mimics a flipping page, make it interactive, maybe even videos –”

“Still, though. Not the same,” Ravi snapped again, though the heat left his voice quickly. He ran a hand over the cover of the binder. “Sorry – it’s just…he gave us these physical things. He touched the dirt in these pots and chose each plant for us. I want him to have something he can hold and have.”

Hen walked over, resting a hand on Ravi’s shoulder. “You’ve been tracking the pH levels every day for a year, Ravi. I think he’ll get the point even without the glossy photos.”

“It’s not just the pH,” Ravi whispered. He opened the binder. Ravi had used a stylus to hand-draw the progression of the blooms. He’d even taped a flower he had pressed. “I honestly don’t know what to say to him when he’s back on the ship. So I wanted to show him how much I care about him.”

Hen’s eyes teared up as she flipped through Ravi’s binder. It was beautiful, and Buck found that there were tears gathering in his eyes as well. Ravi had clearly left space for photos, and sure, it could use some more colour, but it was a work of art. 

“Rav…” Buck choked out. 

“He’s going to love it,” Hen finished for him. “He’s going to fucking love it.” 

“Thanks, guys,” Ravi muttered, sheepishly ducking his head down. 

“I’m serious,” Hen said, pulling her eyes away from the binder to look at Ravi. “He used to make drawings like this of plants all the time. That’s how we met, actually.” 

Ravi looked up at Hen, and Bobby stepped over, sitting down at the table next to Ravi. 

Hen laughed. “I know you guys have heard this story before.” 

“Tell it anyway,” Eddie said softly, still tucked away in the corner with a lapful of lights, but he was looking over at Hen now. 

“My ex and I were doing long distance for a while before we called it quits. I was stuck at the airport in Houston because my flight to LA had been delayed, and Chim was on his way back from Central America, connecting through Houston to get home to LA. I was exhausted, and I didn’t really want to go – I knew that all Eva and I were going to do was fight when I got there – and Chim was exhausted from his travels.” 

“I was hiding in this corner, in one of those big chairs that looks over the tarmac, you know? I just didn’t want to talk to anyone,” Hen laughed ruefully to herself. “Of course, I didn’t have a choice, because this absolute idiot shows up – who hadn’t showered in days, mind you – and drops his books and stuff on the table, knocking over my coffee. I’m pretty sure I yelled at him at first, but he looked so worn down. He offered to buy me another coffee and wouldn’t take no for an answer. We ended up hiding out in this little corner together, and we didn’t stop talking until our flight was finally boarding.” 

“Aw, it’s like an airport meetcute. Total romcom moment,” Ravi said. “Wait – platcom!”

“Platcom?” Bobby echoed, craning his neck to give Ravi a look. 

“Yeah, like a romantic comedy but platonic!” Ravi replied enthusiastically. “Platcom!” 

They all started giggling, but Hen turned wistful again. 

“We never really stopped talking after that. And then he introduced me to Karen.”

“Awwww,” Ravi drawled. “Platcom and a romcom.”

“Yeah,” Hen agreed with a wet laugh. “His movie-loving ass will love to hear you say that.”

“Isn’t it weird that the entire time we’ve been together hasn’t been on Earth?” Eddie mused. 

“Yes, actually,” Buck answered, laughing. “I guess this is as good a time as any to tell you that this is actually just a space fling for me. Was hoping it was going to be with an alien, honestly.” 

“Wait, you haven’t slept with an alien?” Eddie fired back. “Are you even a real astronaut?” 

Buck laughed. “Is that what you were spending your time doing during your EVAs on Mars?” 

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Eddie murmured, leaning in for another kiss. 

They had been disgustingly sweet all day, Buck knew. Ravi kept gagging at them, Hen rolled her eyes, and Bobby grumbled about professionalism. But what was Buck meant to do? Not kiss his boyfriend on their anniversary? Exactly.

“I liked you,” Buck whispered, “when we were on Earth.”

“I know,” Eddie replied, sounding smug until Buck started poking at his side. 

“Did you just sorta Han Solo me?” Buck demanded through Eddie’s giggles. 

“I liked you first,” Eddie finally replied, breathless from laughter. 

“We’re not having this fight again.” 

“I’m serious! You were still hung up on that pilot,” Eddie spat the last word like it was a curse. 

“You have a whole family!” Buck sputtered, apparently unable to resist this familiar conversation. “Wife and kid, man. I didn’t think you were available. I definitely thought you were hot, but I also thought you were straight.” 

“Ex-wife,” Eddie corrected haughtily. 

“Oh, I know that now,” Buck purred, leaving kisses along Eddie’s jaw. “If I had known beforehand, I would’ve locked you down before the first day of orientation was done.” 

Eddie nudged his head to the side, baring his neck to Buck even more. Buck smiled against his skin. 

“You didn’t like me on the first day of orientation,” Eddie said, squirming when Buck nipped at the hinge of his jaw. 

“You were too hot for me to focus,” Buck said. “I was worried it would affect my work.” 

“So you decided to hate me?” 

“It was easier than letting myself think about anything else,” Buck said, pulling back to look at Eddie again. 

“You know,” Eddie said, combing his fingers through Buck’s hair. “Since we got together in space, we’re going to have to leave Earth for every anniversary.” 

Buck exaggerated a nod. “Like going back to the restaurant of your first date.”

They sat in silence, staring out at the Milky Way. For a guy who was completely focused on computers, Buck could never stop looking at the stars. He never imagined he’d be an actual astronaut; he always assumed he’d end up as one of the background tech people working on setting things up for the astronauts. 

Yet, here he was, sitting in his favourite observation deck on Hermes, staring at the stars with the man he loved in his arms. 

“Eddie,” Buck turned to him with what was definitely a stupid smile on his face. “You think we can convince NASA to pay for a wedding?”

They knew the storm was bad. NASA updated the status of it, warning that they probably had to abort the mission, for fear of the MAV tilting. That would be it. No functional MAV? No way up to Hermes. That would be it. They would be left for dead on Mars. 

Bobby called it. He was too nervous; the risk was too high. Buck noticed his voice shook as he called out the mission abort, so they packed up as much as they could to bring with them back to the MAV and got ready to brave the Martian elements. 

Stepping into the airlock of the Hab, Buck caught Eddie’s eye. Eddie gave a small, firm nod before the outer door cycled open.

The world was gone.

The Martian wind was just as unforgiving as a hurricane on Earth, maybe more. The sky was an ugly shade of orange, and visibility was down to less than a meter. Buck felt the wind slam into his chest, nearly throwing him back into the airlock. They pushed forward, but the wind was only getting worse. 

"The MAV is at seven degrees!" Ravi’s voice crackled on their radios from inside the MAV, sounding high and frantic. "Eight degrees! Captain, it’s swaying! The wind is catching the landing gear!"

"Everyone to the MAV! Now!" Bobby roared. 

Buck turned, reaching out through the orange haze to find Chimney. "Chim! Move! Forget the equipment!"

But the wind reached a deafening, metallic shriek. A violent gust of wind and dust slammed into the communications array. Buck watched in horrific slow-motion as the secondary antenna snapped under the tension. It broke, whipping into the air like a javelin directly towards the faint outline of a person that Buck could see through the dust.

"Chim!"

Buck lunged forward, his hand outstretched, reaching for the flash of white EVA suit that was no longer there once Buck blinked. 

"Buck, move!" Eddie’s voice was a roar as he tackled Buck toward the MAV ramp.

"He’s down! Eddie, he’s down!" Buck fought against Eddie’s grip, screaming into a radio that was suddenly, terrifyingly, filled with nothing but the static of a dead planet. "I HAVE TO FIND HIM! CHIM!"

"The MAV is at eleven degrees!" Ravi screamed. "We’re going to tip! Bobby!"

The ramp hissed as it began to retract, and Buck looked out into the red void one last time, seeing nothing but the storm that had ripped Chim from them.

"You killed Chimney," Bobby said, frowning at the screen. 

"Yeah," Hen acknowledged, her face twisting into a similar frown at the monitor. 

The words COLLISION WITH TERRAIN blinked accusingly at the room.

"I pulled a nasty trick on her," Buck explained. "It was a sim of a malfunctioning altitude readout and made Engine Three cut out too early. It's a deadly combination."

"Shouldn't have been a mission failure," Hen argued, cracking her knuckles. "I should have noticed the readout was wrong. It was way off."

"Don't sweat it," Bobby said. "That's why we drill."

"Aye, Captain," Hen said. She furrowed her brow and frowned at the screen again.

"Don't beat yourself up," Bobby said. "They only gave you two days of remote launch training. It was only supposed to happen if we aborted before landing; a cut-our-losses scenario where we’d launch the MAV to act as a satellite. It wasn't mission-critical so they didn't drill you too hard on it. Now that Chimney’s life depends on it, you've got three weeks to get it right, and I have no doubt you can do it.*

"Aye, Captain," Hen echoed, slightly softer.

"Resetting the sim," Buck muttered. "Anything specific you want to try?"

“Surprise me,” Hen snipped. 

Buck set up a new sim, making two of the engines delay start due to Martian dust. They both knew that the specific scenario was extremely unlikely, but Bobby had said to throw everything Buck could think of at Hen. 

They were in the rec room, a makeshift monitor set up for the simulations. They couldn’t exactly set up in the flight deck, so this was as close as they were going to get. Eddie and Ravi came in and out of the room to peek how it was going, but it’s mostly been Bobby standing behind them, offering soft-spoken comments every now and then. 

The sim wasn’t too hard to set up, and Buck’s ears prickled when his brain caught up to Eddie speaking behind them. 

“– the intercept has to be within two hundred and fourteen meters," Eddie said lowly, probably just for Bobby’s ears. "Pretty narrow margin of error."

"We've got a lot of leeway," Bobby said. "The launch will be sixty-two minutes before the intercept, and it takes twelve minutes. As soon as Chim’s S2 engine cuts out, we'll know our intercept point and velocity. If we don't like it, we'll have forty minutes to correct. Our engine's two millimetres per second may not seem like much, but in forty minutes it can move us up to 5.7 kilometres."

"Good," Eddie said. "And two hundred and fourteen meters isn't a hard limit, per se."

"Yes, it is,” Bobby said, voice sounding firmer. 

"Nah," Eddie said. "I know I'm not supposed to go untethered, but without my leash i could get way out there –”

“Not an option.” And oh, Bobby sounded mad. 

"But we could double or even triple our safe intercept range –”

"We're done talking about this, Diaz," Bobby snapped.

It was quiet for a moment. Buck didn’t want to picture what either Bobby nor Eddie’s faces looked like.

"Yes, sir," Eddie said curtly. 

Only one set of footsteps echoed out of the command room, and Buck tried to peek over his shoulder as subtly as possible. 

Eddie was still there, staring at the space where Bobby probably had been standing. 

“Hen,” Buck said sweetly, even though he felt like he was about to fly out of his own skin. “I think we both need to take five. And then we’ll get back to me putting you through a saw trap of all the different ways we could kill Chim.” 

Hen thunked her head onto the table. “Okay,” she whispered. “But just five minutes. We need to figure this out.” 

“Yes,” Buck nodded, clapping her on the shoulder as he got up. “We’re gonna get this, Wilson.” 

Hen shifted to throw a very sad thumbs up at Buck, and then went back to wallowing. Buck moved as quickly as he could over to Eddie, gripping his arm and pulling him towards the bunks. 

“What the fuck is your problem?” Buck growled once they hopefully were out of hearing range of everyone else.

Eddie blinked at him, his eyes going all round and sad. Jesus Christ. 

“What?” 

“Eddie,” Buck groaned. “You can’t just… go fly in space with no tether. I will find a way to get you back on the ship, and then kill you, and then send you off into space again.”

“Oh,” Eddie breathed, realizing what Buck was mad about. “This – I’m not just flying in space for fun! I am not missing the chance to get Chim. We can’t just fucking fly by him. What the fuck?” 

“Yeah, and have two astronauts stranded in space? No, thank you,” Buck fired back. 

“Like you’d be any better,” Eddie scoffed, kicking at the floor with the toe of his shoe. “I’m the EVA specialist. I’m grabbing Chim. End of story.” 

“No. Not end of story. Bobby said no,” Buck argued, even though Eddie was completely right about Buck. If Buck had the chance to grab Chimney, he would absolutely untether himself for it. “What about your hard-on for the chain of command, huh?”

Eddie pushed himself away from Buck a bit, rolling his eyes and leaning against the wall, making as much space as possible between the two of them. 

“Oh, fuck you,” Eddie hissed. “Don’t throw that in my face like you don’t know why I’m suggesting this.” 

“Of course I know why,” Buck snapped. “But I’d rather have a dead brother than a dead brother and a dead boyfriend.” 

“Wow, thanks for the vote of confidence,” Eddie said, voice dripping in sarcasm. 

Buck groaned and threw his head back. “This isn’t a comment on your EVA skills. Jesus. This is me knowing the math for catching Chim successfully. Dunno if you noticed, but Hen and I have been practicing nightmare scenarios. Sue me if I can’t see the bright side of something stupidly risky.”

“It’s a calculated risk.” 

“Oh, fucking hell, Eddie, I don’t want you to die! Sorry that I can’t watch you risk your life like that? I’m sorry I love you?” Buck said as he threw his arms up. 

“So this is about you?” Eddie exploded before deflating. He looked more defeated than ever. “I – uh, I’m sorry. I love you, too. I just…” 

All of the anger in Buck dissipated in a second. The pit in his stomach was still there, but it was just fear, not anger. 

“C’mere,” Buck mumbled, holding out his arms until Eddie fell into him. 

“I don’t want to fail him again,” Eddie whispered into Buck’s shoulder. 

“I know,” Buck replied, equally agonized. 

“I just can’t do nothing.” 

Buck swallowed. “You might not be able to do anything, though.”

Eddie stayed quiet. 

“I’m serious. Some of this might be out of our hands. And it’s not your fault, or my fault, or Chim’s fault. Or even NASA’s fault.”

“I know,” Eddie said, sniffling quietly.

“If it makes you feel any better, barring any insane complications, most of the MAV launches are going well.” Buck forced his tone to be as light as possible, but it still felt kind of empty with the odds they were facing. 

“Thanks,” Eddie said wetly. “But this entire trip has been nothing but insane complications.”

“Really?” Buck asked, smirking slightly. “You can’t think of anything that might be a fun, new addition to your life?” 

Eddie pulled back a bit, still staying in the ring of Buck’s arms, and wiped his eyes. “Alright, fine. Maybe one thing that’s gone well.” 

Buck smiled, seeing a little more joy than before in Eddie’s eyes, and leaned down for a chaste kiss. When Buck pulled away slightly, Eddie made a soft noise of displeasure and shifted his arms so that he was holding onto Buck’s neck, reeling him in for another kiss. 

Buck made a soft noise of surprise, but leaned into it, letting Eddie move him around and dictate the pace. It was languid; Eddie was leaning up into him, pressing all the love he could into the kiss like he could reassure Buck with just his mouth. 

(He could.)

"Alright,” Bobby clapped his hands together very softly and looked around the room, "tomorrow's the big day."

The crew floated in the rec room, unencumbered by gravity since they had halted the rotation of the ship.

"I’m ready," Hen grinned. "Buck threw everything he could at me. I got all scenarios to orbit."

“Everything other than catastrophic failures," Buck corrected, wincing slightly. It was a little discouraging at times since they managed to see every failure message at least twice, but Buck felt confident that they had covered everything they could. Hen was as prepared as she’ll ever be. 

"Well, yeah." Hen rolled her eyes. "Kind of pointless to simulate an ascent explosion. Nothing we can do."

"Panikkar," Bobby said, ignoring Hen’s last comment. "How's our course?"

"It’s perfect," Ravi said, looking down at his tablet. "We are within one meter of the projected path and two centimetres per second of the projected velocity."

"Good," Bobby nodded. "Diaz, how about you?"

"Everything's all set up, Captain," Eddie said. "The tethers are linked and spooled in Airlock 2. My suit and MMU are prepped and ready."

Buck couldn’t believe they were getting ready for this. It had been nearly two years since they left Earth, a year and a half since they left Chim on Mars. No one was prepared for this much time in space, and there was a lot of maintenance to be done on the ship as it was stretched to its use limit. 

"Okay, the battle plan is pretty obvious," Bobby said. He pushed himself off one wall to grab onto the handlebar fused to the ceiling. "Wilson will fly the MAV, Buckley will sysop the ascent. Diaz and Panikkar, I want you in Airlock 2 with the outer door open before the MAV even launches. You'll have to wait fifty-two minutes, but I don't want to risk any technical glitches with the airlock or your suits. Once we reach intercept, it'll be Eddie’s job to get Chim."

"He might be in bad shape when I get him," Eddie recited, much like he had said before during their prep for this. "The stripped-down MAV will get up to twelve g's during the launch. He could be unconscious and may even have internal bleeding."

"Just as well you're our doctor," Bobby smiled. "Panikkar, if all goes according to plan, you're pulling Diaz and Chim back aboard with the tether. If things go wrong, you're Diaz’s backup."

"Yes, Cap," Ravi said.

"I wish there was more we could do right now," Bobby sighed. "But all we have left is the wait. Your work schedules are cleared. All scientific experiments are suspended. Sleep if you can, run diagnostics on your equipment if you can't."

"Fuel pressure green," Buck chirped, buzzing from excitement. “Engine alignment is perfect. Communications five by five. We are ready for the preflight checklist, Captain."

"Copy," Bobby said. "CAPCOM."

"Go," Buck responded.

"Guidance."

"Go," Buck said again.

"Remote Command."

"Go," said Hen.

"Pilot."

“Go,” said Chim from the MAV.

Buck huffed a breath of disbelief at the sound of Chim’s voice over their comms system once again, but he didn’t have time to dwell on it. 

"Telemetry.”

"Go," Buck responded.

"Recovery," Bobby continued.

"Go," Eddie’s voice rumbled over the radio from the airlock.

"Secondary Recovery."

"Go," said Ravi.

"Mission Control, this is Hermes Actual," Bobby reported. "We are a go for launch and will proceed on schedule. We are T minus four minutes, ten seconds to launch ... mark. About four minutes, Chim," Bobby said, voice a bit gentler when he was addressing Chim. "How you doing down there?"

"Eager to get up there, Captain," Chim responded.

"We're going to make that happen," Bobby said, "Remember, you'll be pulling some pretty heavy g's. It's okay to pass out, you’re in Hen’s hands."

"Tell her no barrel rolls."

"Copy that, MAV," Bobby said, a smile twitching on his face.

"Four more minutes," Hen said, cracking her knuckles.

"T-MINUS TEN," said Buck, "nine...eight…"

"Main engines start," said Hen.

“seven…six…five…mooring clamps released.. "

"About five seconds, Chim," Bobby said to his headset. "Hang on"

"See you in a few, Captain," Chim radioed back.

“...four…three…two…velocity seven hundred and forty-one meters per second," Buck called out, trying not to wince. "Altitude thirteen hundred and fifty meters."

"Copy," Hen said, but Buck could hear the anxious thread in her voice.

"That's low," Bobby muttered. "Too low."

"I know," Hen said. "It's sluggish; fighting me. What the fuck is going on?"

“Velocity eight hundred and fifty, altitude eighteen hundred and forty-three," Buck reported.

"I’m not getting the power I need!" Hen said.

Buck frowned. She should be getting the power she needed. "Engine power at a hundred percent." 

"I'm telling you it's sluggish," Hen insisted.

"Chim," Bobby said to his headset. "Chim, do you read? Can you report?”

No reply.

Everything became a blur for Buck after that. Chim was passed out from the Gs, no surprise there, but he was going too fast, too low, so they needed to do something drastic. 

Like blow up a part of Hermes. 

Ravi built a bomb beautifully. Fuckin’ chemists, man. 

Buck floated to the VAL, and he was working on the lightning panel as Eddie floated towards him in his full spacesuit. 

He grabbed onto Eddie’s arm, still somehow able to feel the strength of his forearms through the layers of the suit. “Be careful crawling along the hull.”

Eddie turned to face him. "Be careful setting up the bomb."

In a fit of insanity, Buck kissed Eddie’s faceplate then looked away, embarrassed. "That was stupid. Don't tell anyone I did that."

"Don't tell anyone I liked it," Eddie smiled as he floated away, entering the airlock and sealing the inner door. 

Buck watched until Eddie was no longer in view, then returned to the lighting panel. He had deactivated it earlier. After pulling a length of the cable out and stripping the ends, he fiddled with a roll of electrical tape until Ravi arrived, carefully floating down the hall with the bomb held in both hands.

"I have used a single wire for igniting," he explained. "I did not want to risk two wires for a spark. It would be dangerous to us if we had static while setting up."

“How do we set it off?" Buck asked.

"The wire must reach a high temperature. If you short power through it, that will be sufficient."

"I’ll have to pin the breaker," Buck said absentmindedly, "but it'll work." 

He twisted the lighting wires onto the bomb and taped them off, looking over his work appreciatively. 

What the fuck has this day turned into? 

Ravi turned to get ready in Airlock 2 for Eddie to hopefully fly back in with Chim, and Buck returned to his station next to Hen. He couldn’t do anything but listen now. 

"I’m going to jump out," Eddie’s voice rumbled through the speakers. "Should get me another two or three meters per second."

"Understood," Ravi replied. "Good luck, Diaz."

“I have visual!" Eddie said. "I can see the MAV!"

Buck let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

"Jesus, Han, what did you do to that thing?"

"You should see what I did to the rover," Chim radioed back.

"Buckley," he said, "you got me on radar?"

"Affirmative," he replied.

"Call out my relative velocity to Chim every two seconds or so."

"Copy. Five point two meters per second."

"Hey Diaz," Chim said, "the front's wide open. I get up there and be ready to grab at you."

"Negative," interrupted Bobby. "No untethered movement. Stay strapped to your chair until you're latched to Diaz."

"Copy," Chim said.

"Three point one meters per second," Buck reported.

"Going to coast for a bit," Eddie said. "Gotta catch up before I slow it down." 

"Eleven meters to target," Buck said.

"Copy."

"Six meters," Buck said.

"And… counter-thrusting," Diaz said. "Velocity?"

"One point one meters per second," Buck said.

"Good enough," he said. "I’m drifting toward it. I think I can get my hand on some of the torn canvas… contact! Firm contact!"

"Diaz," Ravi’s voice crackled over the radio, "we have passed the closest approach point, and you are now getting further away. You have one hundred and sixty-nine meters of tether left. Enough for fourteen seconds."

"Copy," Eddie said. "Visual on Chimney!" 

"Visual on Diaz!" Chim reported, laughing. 

"How ya doin', man?" Eddie said, a smile apparent in his voice.

“I...I just..." Chim said. "Give me a minute. You're the first person I've seen in eighteen months."

"We don't have a minute. We've got eleven seconds before we run out of tether,” Eddie said, before speaking louder into the mic, “Contact with Chim!"

"Eight seconds, Diaz," Ravi radioed.

"We're out," Eddie reported.

“Five seconds," Ravi said.

"Relative velocity to Hermes: twelve meters per second," Buck said.

"Thrusting," Eddie said. "That's it for the fuel. Velocity?"

"Five meters per second," Buck replied.

"Stand by," Ravi said. 

Buck was enraptured as he watched the monitor. "Velocity zero!" Buck yelled as soon as he saw the numbers tick down.

"Reel 'em in, Panikkar," Bobby said.

"Copy," Ravi said. 

"Aboard!" Eddie said.

"Airlock 2 outer door closed," Ravi said.

"Yes!" Hen yelled.

"Copy," Bobby said.

Buck took one last look at his monitor. Everything was back to normal – the autopilot was on, on course to rip around Mars. There wasn’t a single warning light in sight. 

He jumped out of his chair, his hands fumbling with the seatbelts, and got ready to go hug his brother-in-law for the first time in a year and a half.

Once upon a time, Buck had a reckless streak. He was 19, obsessed with his motorcycle, and his parents had just kicked him out. It was kind of hard to fault them for that, since it was the third time that the cops had shown up due to Buck’s “grey” knight hacking. 

He couldn’t help it. The world made him feel so small. Buck had to do something. It was an itch under his skin. 

A scam had been going around Facebook, linking to some random online store and people were buying it. So, Buck, naturally, hacked into the website to warn people. Which was a crime according to the law and the police, apparently. 

All in all, Margaret and Philip Buckley had not been impressed by that demonstration, even though the police weren’t actually charging Buck, merely warning him since Buck’s hacking had resulted in uncovering a pretty sizeable fraud case. They kicked Buck out, and Buck, in a fit of anger, went out racing on his motorbike. 

He sped down the roads, the freedom of racing on the bike soothing him, but he ended up waiting in the ER for Maddie after totalling his bike anyway. Buck left Pennsylvania in Maddie’s Jeep, and that’s how he ended up at NASA. 

Before that, working at NASA was good – great, even – but the anger he carried burst out at times. The pressure of his skills compressed him into a ball of angst and fury, and he lashed out where he could. He was impulsive, seeking immediate gratification where he could find it, and he wasn’t as focused as he could be. A year before being selected for Ares III, Maddie showed up. Buck slowed his crazy life down a bit once Maddie was around again. She met Chim, and they were perfect for each other. 

Sometimes, Buck thought that he never really settled until he was selected for Ares III and met the team. 

Buck would have never admitted it at the time, but having Chim in his life is what made him fully commit to trying to get onto Ares III. Buck had always thought it was a long shot for him, but Chim pushed him. Chim was already close with Hen, who was also in the class of astronauts trying out for Ares III, and they met Bobby, Eddie and Ravi there as well. 

That all felt like a lifetime ago. They had little left of the mission now, decelerating as they approached Earth. Looking out at the tiny, blue marble ahead of them, Buck thought about how tiny the world once made him feel. 

Someone cleared their throat behind Buck, and it startled him out of his thoughts. Bobby stood at the edge of the hallway, looking apprehensive. 

“Cap,” Buck acknowledged with a quick nod. 

“Hi, Buck,” Bobby smiled softly as he sat down on the other observation deck chair. “You look pensive.” 

“No, I’m just thinking,” Buck deadpanned, and Bobby rolled his eyes with a small grin on his face. 

“Funny. Are you okay?” 

Buck hummed. “You ever feel small?”

“All the time, kid. All the time.” 

The universe loomed large around them, the tiny, blue marble that was Earth dwarfed by the infinite stars. They had been prepping for days to land, and everything was going according to plan, but they only had hours before they had to start getting into position, and Buck couldn’t believe it. Any of it. 

Two and a half years. 

Two and a half years in space.

Buck still couldn’t believe they had done it. He couldn’t believe Chim survived that storm, couldn’t believe Chim survived Mars, and they were able to go back and get him. 

“There’s a Bible verse I think about sometimes,” Bobby murmured, keeping his voice low to protect the quiet of the moment, “when I get overwhelmed with the world. Space, too, I guess. It’s all a lot to process at times. I know you’re not religious, but I’m going to recite the verse for you anyway.”

Buck shut his eyes and let the words wash over him.

“‘When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them?’” Bobby’s voice gently rumbled. “‘You have made them a little lower than the angels and crowned them with glory and honour. You made them rulers over the works of your hands; you put everything under their feet: all flocks and herds, and the animals of the wild, the birds in the sky, and the fish in the sea, all that swim the paths of the seas.’”

“That’s beautiful,” Buck sniffled. “Thank you.”

Bobby hummed, but silence descended over them. 

This time, though, it wasn’t the heavy silence that sat over Buck before. It was peaceful.

“Hey,” Eddie murmured as he shuffled into the area.

He drifted towards Buck, silently tucking into the chair with him. The chairs weren’t big enough for it, but Eddie squeezed in. The chairs could generously be called loveseats for two people who were half the size of Buck and Eddie. But Buck wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. 

The three of them sat quietly, and even though the tiny observation deck didn’t have enough space, Hen, Chim and Ravi eventually joined them, piling around them on the floor. 

Buck wasn't sure how long it was until Ravi’s tablet softly beeped, and everyone reluctantly pulled apart, getting ready for the final descent to Earth.

“We’re two years out from Ares V takeoff,” Venkat said, looking around the conference room. “I know it’s overdue, but it’s time for a proper debrief of Ares III.” 

There were a few quiet groans around the room. 

“I know, I know. But we also need to talk about whether anyone would consider joining Ares V,” Venkat continued. 

“My spacesuit has been retired,” Chim said. “Like Wayne Gretzky. I’m the Wayne Gretzky of astronauts. I can’t come out of retirement.” 

“You were barely alive when he retired,” Bobby pointed out.

“So? My point stands.” 

Annie sighed, but Buck swore Mitch was trying to hide his laughter. 

“Would anyone else want to be considered to join another mission?” Venkat pressed. “We’re in the final stages of selecting the astronauts for consideration and testing.” 

“I’m out,” Hen said decisively. “I’ve had enough time in space.” 

“As have I. Athena’s retiring soon, and we’re looking to travel. Like normal people. On airplanes, not spaceships,” Bobby huffed. “Or maybe a cruise.” 

Venkat nodded, shifting focus to Buck and Eddie.

“Eddie and I are with child,” Buck said. “So, we’ll pass.” 

“Can you please stop saying it like that?” Eddie groaned from next to him. 

“But we shall gladly share the light of our experience,” Buck said, putting on a stupid accent just to piss off Eddie a bit. Sue him, he was bored. He leaned over to pat Eddie’s stomach. “Within a few short months, the fruit of our love shall see the sun.” 

“You’re an idiot,” Eddie said, batting at Buck’s hands. “What Buck means is that the adoption was approved, and the birth mother’s due date is in a couple of months.”

Buck felt like he was glowing, and everyone smiled softly despite hearing the news weeks prior. 

“My God,” Annie said softly, shaking her head. 

“Yeah, exactly,” Hen agreed. “They were like this the whole time.”

“We weren’t even together the whole time!” Buck argued. 

“That makes it worse,” Ravi said. “You see how that’s worse, right?” 

“Might I remind you all that this meeting is recorded?” Venkat said, rubbing at his jaw. 

“They were perfectly professional the whole time,” Chim said, loudly, in the direction of the box in front of Venkat. “I only walked in on them once.” 

“We were only making out!” Buck said at the same time as Hen’s exclamation: “You weren’t even alive the whole time.” 

“Ouch, Henrietta,” Chim said, a hand on his chest. “Way too soon.” 

“It’s been two years,” Eddie grumbled. “You make jokes about it all the time.” 

“Alright,” Bobby said softly, and everyone relaxed into their chairs, politely chastened in a way only Bobby could pull off. 

Buck cleared his throat. “Anyway, I’m very happy to help with any training of the next sysops.” 

“Agreed,” Eddie said softly. “Neither of us are going to sign up for another mission, but Buck’s been working with JPL, and I’ve been working with the med department here on long-term human health on Mars. We’d like to continue those roles or consult.” 

“Okay,” Venkat said, nodding at them before looking at Ravi. “And you, Dr. Panikkar?”

“I, uh,” Ravi stuttered, looking around the room. “You can mark me down as available for another mission.” 

Venkat smiled, and Mitch lit up. 

“Please don’t feel pressured because the rest of us said no,” Bobby said quietly to Ravi. 

“No, not – I’m not doing it because of that,” Ravi clarified. “I would go back to Mars. I’m just, I’m not done. It’s in my bones, or whatever. I want to go back to Mars.”

“Great!” Venkat said, beaming. “We have our Ares V captain!” 

“Wait, what–”