Chapter Text
Caines legs swung forward and back on the side of the stage he sat on. His pencil sketched in his notepad, drawing little doodles in the pages around his notes.
Perfect little doodles, if he did say so himself. Of what, you may ask?
Bees.
Hearts.
Those cool S’s.
More bees.
His incredible partners.
His incredible partners as bees.
The usual!
Caine loved to draw. Even if he wasn’t extremely talented. He adored just being able to sit back after working on an adventure, pulling out his little notepad, and doodling in the margins to his programmed hearts content!
And, okay, maybe it got to the point where his notepad had turned more into a sketchbook, but who cares!
After filling in the last stripe, Caine held his drawing further back to properly look at his drawing.
An adorable, fuzzy bee with a large smile stared back it him from the page.
If you couldn’t already tell, Bees were in the TOP of Caines ‘List Of Favourite Things In The World’ list. Because why wouldn’t they be? [ why wouldn’t they bee if you will.]
They were hard workers, [like Caine,] They were always efficient, [like Caine,] They adored their queen, [like Caine (and Kinger!), ] and they were just so damn adorable! [dare he say it, like Caine!]
But, even though they were definitely in his top list, they surprisingly weren’t number 1 for Caines favourite things. The top spots were saved for something even more special to him.
The thought reminded Caine of something, as he immediately flipped the pages of the notebook until he landed on one in particular. The page with a drawing of his absolute favourite things ever.
On the page was a drawing he had been meticulously working on for the last few days, of him, His wonderful boyfriend, Kinger, and their beautiful girlfriend/wife, Queenie.
He had started this drawing just 2 days ago, when he had the sudden epiphany that it would make an incredible gift for his lovers.
The idea came to him when he had looked at the framed pictures that sat idle on his desk in his office. He had photos of all his fantastic cast members, from his oldest member, Scratch, to the circuses newest member, Pomni.
Of course, Queenie and Kinger were no exception, with both of them having their very own frames.
But that was part of the issue!
Caine didn’t have a single picture that was of him and BOTH of his lovers! And that just wouldn’t do! It felt as if the three of them were separated on some level by nothing but a few inches and some wooden lining.
So, Caine thought it would be the perfect idea to simply make his own image of the three! It seemed far more sentimental than just snapping a new picture after all!
And he was sure they were gonna love it! Queenie herself was quite the artist, being able to draw hyper realistic images of whatever she so pleased, that being mostly bugs. Even the circuses number 1 artist, Gangle, went to her for tips sometimes. If anyone was going to appreciate a drawing, it would be her.
Which was why it had to be perfect!
And it was!
…Right?
Caine took a moment to widen his eyes and inspect the image. Call him a perfectionist, but there was a reason this piece was taking him days.
The ringmaster suppressed a gasp as he spotted it.
He had accidentally added a FIFTH FINGER TO KINGERS HAND NORMALLY FOUR FINGERED HAND! OH THE HORROR! Caine was never good with hands!
Oh dear goodness, IT WAS RUINED! THE ENTIRE PICTURE! DOWN THE DRAIN! AND HE NEVER EVEN GOT TO SHOW THEM! OH THE ABSOLUTE TRAGEDY IT WA—
…Wait, weren’t erasers a thing?
Caine dramatically slapped his forehead, relief washing over him. How could he forget? He could just erase and redraw his mistake! Kinger always did say Caine could get overdramatic at times.
Now where was his eraser?
He had to think for a second.
Where had he last had it?
His office? No, he had been writing with a pen there.
In the pillow fort? No, it was too dark to draw there.
Right next to him? Unless it was an invisible eraser, than no. He hadn’t finished that yet!
By the couches?
AHA!
Caine clicked his fingers as he remembered. Of course! That’s where it was, after he had given it to Gangle to borrow, she said she would leave it there when she was done!
He floated up from his seat on the stage, before snapping his fingers to teleport himself.
One second later, his avatar popped into existence, floating right over the purple, blue, red and green couches and the brown table. Surprisingly, none of the various members were there. Normally he would run into at least one sitting over here.
He shrugged. Most must just be in their rooms or somewhere else! The days adventure had only ended a short while ago, so them all just resting wasn’t out of the question.
It only took a second of looking down and scanning the table for Caine to spot it! His eraser!
He quickly floated down, swiftly grabbing the object off the table and into his gloved hand.
There we go! Now he could fix his mistake!
His avatar floated back up and began to drift away from the area, already heading on its way back to the stage. Sure he could just teleport back, but why not take the scenic route? Queenie did say it was good to take things slow sometimes!
As he drifted past the blocks that rested behind the couches, the ringmaster heard a familiar sound. The sound of footsteps!
Ah, so his members were coming to relax in the common area now! It felt quite good to know they weren’t all cooped up in their rooms!
Caine peered over the side of the blocks to take a look at who was coming by.
Soon, the familiar purple ears of Jax showed up, followed by the green of Ribbit, and yellow of Kaufmo. As the trio strided in, Ribbit sighed.
“God…” She heaved. “Bro, I’m so F[!#%]ing tiiiirreeed! I HATE active adventures!”
Kaufmo chuckled.
“You hate active ANYTHING!”
“Oh, Shut up, Kaufey!”
“Pft, yeah! You’re one to talk, Mr Balloon Bod’!” Jax added with a snicker.
The clown rolled his eyes as he sat down on the cough. “Haha, VERY FUNNY. And I thought I was the best clown.”
Ribbit and Jax giggled to eachother as they plopped themselves on the couch too.
“But, yeah, for real. I’m like, DYING OF EXHAUSTION here man! What gave Caine the thought that an ‘obstacle course combined with a battle royal’ was a good idea!?” The rabbit groaned.
Ribbit shrugged. “Probably from you. You did say to him that you liked violent adventures..”
“Well, yeah, But not when they’re directed at ME!”
“Pft-“ Kaufmo snickered. “Oh, I get it, so you can give it but you can take it? Makes sense for yo—“
The clown was abruptly cut off by Jax elbowing him in the ribs, which made him yelp in pain as Ribbit laughed at him.
Kaufmo took a second to slap Jaxes arm back, before sighing as the exhaustion hit him again.
“F[%#!] Dude…Sometimes I wonder if Caine even thinks about how tired we feel after these.”
Jax and Ribbit made noises of agreement from next to him.
“On GOD man. Like, does he even think about how we feel about this stuff…at ALL?”
“Nah, you think an AI knows how we feel? The other day he asked me if it ‘really Rained cats and dogs in the macroverse’. ”
“HAH, you’ve gotta be kidding! He doesn’t know S[%#!]t! You really can’t expect him to understand ANY kind of emotion I guess.”
The group continued the chatter on, taking about Caines inability to understand how humans feel and comprehend things…unbeknownst to them that he was listening.
The AI’s hands grasped the notebook tightly in his hands, trying to keep himself calm.
What hurt the most was the fact that they weren’t even correct.
Caine COULD feel! He felt quite a lot, actually.
He felt joy when seeing people happy.
He felt love when around his partners.
He felt anger when Bubble pushed his buttons too many times.
He felt sadness when…
…Well, he was feeling sadness right now.
…This wouldn’t do.
He couldn’t just let his members assume he didn’t care about them, or didn’t understand them! He had to tell them! He just had to go over there and tell them how much he cares!
Yeah! That’s what he would do! He would just go over and apologise for seeming as if he didn’t consider them. He would tell them that he did care about how tired they felt. He would give examples of how much he did feel.
He would tell him about his joy, his sadness, his lo—
“Honestly, Sometimes I wonder what Queenie and Kinger even see ‘n him.”
Caine froze.
That was a different voice. A much deeper voice, with a familiar accent.
His body stayed still as his eyes moved to see who it belonged to.
Now standing on the carpet next to the couch, clearly just walking in, was BopDop, the purple dinosaur who had been in the circus since the very beginning. If Caine remembered correctly, he was Kinger and Queenies boss, ‘Not that he did much besides tell us what we were doing wrong’ as Kinger had once said.
BopDop was…Well, he wasn’t exactly the nicest member of the cast. Even though it had been years since he held any actual position of power, he still acted as if he were the leader in the group. Safe to say, he wasn’t that fond of Caine.
Caine hadn’t heard it, but it seemed the trio had also been taken aback by BopDop’s sudden appearance, as Ribbit looked like they had just jumped out of their skin.
“JESUS H CHRIST, BOP.” She breathed. “You cannot just sneak up on us like that..”
BopDop shrugged. “Sorry, kid. Just felt the need to worm myself into the discussion.”
Jax and Kaufmo snickered as Ribbit sighed, relaxing from the initial surprise.
“Good god…Yeah, yeah, sure. State your case.”
BopDop took that as his sign to keep going.
“Like I said. I really just don’t get what Kinger and Queenie see in that guy. Like, they were all ‘Lovey Dovey’ back before comin’ ‘ere, sure didn’t seem like they wanted an extra guy in the relationship. And even if they did, I don’t get why the would want one like…Him.”
That hit Caine hard.
He had never exactly been insecure about his relationship. He knew Queenie and Kinger loved him! They had to! They had told him as such many of times.
But…he had always had a nagging feeling the two had something together that Caine just wasn’t apart of. He knew it was most likely due to how they had been together for years before entering the circus and adding Caine into the mix.
Caine could hear Jax laughing.
“Ooooo, B, that’s crazy coming from you!” The rabbit snickered.
“Yeah! I didn’t know you could throw shade like that.” Kaufmo added. BopDop just shrugged.
“Hey, someone had to say it.”
The dinosaur paused for a second, as if he wasn’t sure whether he should say what he was planning to or not. It was soon clear he decided he should.
“And also- and ya’ didn’t hear this one from me…” BopDop continued, now having the full attention of Jax, Ribbit and Kaufmo.
And of course, Caine. Who was now listening intensely.
“..I don’t even know if they DO want him.”
…What?
“I mean, ‘ave ya seen them lately? The way the come back from the adventures more and more exhausted? They look like they wanna practically rip off their heads when Caine starts running his mouth to ‘em after them!”
…That- T-that couldn’t be true!
“And let’s be honest here, they look a LOT happier when he’s gone. And I don’t blame ‘em. That guy is probably one of the most insufferable AIs I think ever created. It’s a wonder they didn’t delete him, let alone let him into their marriage!”
A stream of ‘Ooooo’s came from the trio at that final comment. If that group liked anything, it was chaos and s[#%!] talk.
“DAMN, Bop. That was cold.”
“PFT, yeah but not WRONG. God, If I was his creator, I would’ve backed off the second he got too weird. He’s tiring enough as a ringmaster, Imagine having to date him!”
“How much you wanna bet he annoyed them into dating him? All like- ‘DATE ME DATE ME DATE ME, IM NOT GONNA SHUT UP UNTIL YOU DO, DATE ME’-“
The group erupted in laughter, with even BopDop joining in and chuckling.
…Meanwhile, Caines body remained frozen behind the blocks. It was as if not even his avatar wanted to accept what he had just heard.
He didn’t want to hear any more, that was for sure.
It took him a good minute to come back into himself, before he snapped his fingers and teleported himself away. He couldn’t even go back to the stage at this point. He didn’t want to be anywhere near there.
Caine loaded into his office space, the area glowing with the orbs of his past adventures. His body had already manifested itself straight to his chair by his desk.
That was good, because he wouldn’t have been able to walk over to it on account of how much he was shaking.
The words practically echoed in his head, repeating over and over again like a broken record.
“I don’t even know if they DO want him.”
“They look like they wanna practically rip off their heads when Caine starts running his mouth to ‘em after them!”
“They look a LOT happier when he’s not around.”
Caine tightly hugged his legs, his notebook falling to the floor.
He felt sick.
He didn’t even know how it was possible, but he just felt so nauseous just from hearing all that.
It- It couldn’t be true! It just couldn’t be! BopDop had to be lying! Or- or exaggerating!
Queenie and Kinger loved him!
So what if they had a happy relationship before him?
So what if they were a little tired after his adventures sometimes?
So what if…
…If they apparently looked happier when he wasn’t around..?
But- But that’s not even logical!
If they don’t like him, why would they have even started dating him in the first place?
“How much you wanna bet he annoyed them into dating him?”
…oh good creators.
Had he done that? Had he truly annoyed them until they agreed to date him just to make him shut up?
He wished he could confirm or deny that, if only his memory wasn’t so terrible.
But even so, why ELSE would they date him?
He couldn’t feel.
He wasn’t human.
He didn’t know how humans felt.
His hands wrapped around his body and clung to his shoulders in a pathetic self hug pose.
Anything he felt was probably just a cheap imitation of human emotion! HE was a cheap imitation of a human.
His fingers pressed down, scratching at the top of his arms.
Oh dear creators…He had basically tricked Queenie and Kinger into a relationship with him.
That was it. He had annoyed them and manipulated them with false emotions until they caved. He didn’t even have the position to say it was accidental. For all he knows, a glitch in his programming made it so he did it on purpose.
What in the world was he to do!? He had trapped the people he loved the most Queenie and Kinger into a relationship with a none feeling sentient AI who they didn’t even like.
He couldn’t just keep them trapped forever! It was his fault after all for loving them making them think he loved them!
Caine stopped. His eyes widened and his hands stopped scratching.
That was it.
If he could accidentally trick them into thinking he loved them,
He could purposely make them believe he didn’t!
Then they would feel no guilt breaking up with him! And they could be happy in their relationship, completely free of annoyances!
Caine finally moved, his body floating up from the chair with new found confidence.
This was the perfect idea! He just had to figure out the details.
And so, that’s what he did. He picked his notebook up off the ground, intentionally flipping towards the back so he didn’t have to view the drawing he had made [ …they probably wouldn’t of liked it anyway! ] and got to work writing out his plan.
All he had to do was commit relationship atrocities that would lead anyone to cutting things off!
All he had to do was…
1 ) Act coldly towards them.
2 ) Avoid them at any cost.
3 ) (try to be) Be intentionally rude toward them.
4 ) Agree to break up as soon as they suggest it.
Even if he tried, Caine knew he wouldn’t be able to end things with them himself. He blamed his artificial emotions.
The AI stared at the list.
It would hurt him in his non existent heart to do this…but it had to be done.
Because he needed to keep Kinger and Queenie happy and safe.
Even if that meant keeping himself out of the picture.