Chapter Text
The group chat is called GIRLS TRIP 🎰 and has been unhinged for two weeks.
[Megan: 9:02am]
ok
FINAL headcount
who's confirmed
[Lara: 9:03am]
me obviously
I PLANNED THIS
[Manon: 9:03am]
in
[Yoonchae: 9:04am]
I will attend as a neutral observer
[Megan: 9:04am]
that's not how vegas works yoon
[Yoonchae: 9:04am]
That is how I work
[Sophia: 9:05am]
I'm in! Can't wait 🤍
[Megan: 9:05am]
DANI
DANIIIIII
daniela avanzini if you don't respond in the next 30 seconds I'm packing for you and you will not like what I choose
[Dani: 9:07am]
i'm in
i'm in
relax
[Megan: 9:07am]
🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
WE'RE GOING TO VEGAS BITCHES
[Yoonchae: 9:08am]
Please do not call me that
[Lara: 9:08am]
we're calling everyone that for four days
get used to it
–
The thing about Las Vegas is that it has a reputation. Everyone knows the reputation. And knowing a reputation should theoretically give a person the power to avoid the very obvious, clearly telegraphed disasters that reputation implies.
Sophia knows the reputation. She knows what four days with her closest friends in a hotel with a pool and unlimited access to cocktails at noon is going to do to her capacity for good decisions.
She fills out the airline form at her desk the night before. Name. Date of birth. Emergency contact.
She types Dani.
She looks at it.
Lara is her best friend. Yoonchae would be the actually useful person in a crisis. Dani is neither of those things.
She leaves it.
Then she stands in her closet for twenty minutes deciding between two sundresses and picks the blue one. Dani said once, offhandedly, that Sophia looked good in blue — said it the way Dani says everything, throwaway, like it was a fact she was reporting. Sophia zips the suitcase.
There are reasons this is fine.
Dani is straight. She has said so, in several registers, on several occasions.
They're close friends — the kind of close where Dani texts her first when something happens, where they have standing coffee plans on Thursdays, where Sophia knows Dani's order and Dani steals food off Sophia's plate without asking and neither of them thinks anything of it.
Sophia thinks about it.
She zips the front pocket too, and puts the suitcase by the door.
-
They fly out on a Thursday.
Megan distributes snacks from a tote bag, individually labeled by preference, because Megan has apparently memorized everyone's preferences without being asked. Manon sleeps with an eye mask and a travel pillow the second they hit cruising altitude, hands folded in her lap, fully committed. Yoonchae reads a book she will not discuss except to say it's fiction. Lara has already made a color-coded itinerary — bars, pools, and shows listed in priority order with footnotes about dress codes and an appendix titled contingencies — and is reviewing it with the focus of someone preparing for something.
Dani is in the window seat next to Sophia.
She falls asleep somewhere over Nevada. No hedging. Just out. Her head tips slowly sideways and lands on Sophia's shoulder.
Sophia stares at the seatback in front of her.
She does not move. She does not, technically, breathe for the first thirty seconds. Then she breathes again, carefully, like she's been reminded how and doesn't want to do it wrong. Dani's hair is against her cheek. Dani smells like the vanilla shampoo she's always used.
Across the aisle, Lara looks up from her itinerary. She clocks Dani's head on Sophia's shoulder. She clocks Sophia's face. Her eyebrow goes up.
Sophia turns back to the window.
-
The hotel is nicer than any of them can afford.
"I used points," Lara announces, sweeping through the lobby.
"Points from what?"
"From living correctly."
The rooms are on the fourteenth floor, overlooking the strip. Megan immediately presses her face against the window and breathes on the glass.
"We're so high up." Her breath fogs the glass. "I feel like a god."
"You feel like someone who is going to get fingerprints on the hotel glass," Yoonchae says, setting her luggage down beside the bed.
"A god of fingerprints."
The room situation: Dani and Manon share one room; Sophia, Lara, Megan, and Yoonchae have the suite, which Lara negotiated during booking through a combination of charm, leverage, and what Sophia suspects was light psychological manipulation of a customer service representative who simply didn't know what he was getting into.
Dani throws herself face-first onto her bed the moment she walks in, arms out, full starfish. Her voice comes out muffled into the comforter. "I love beds. I specifically love this bed. I'm going to marry this bed."
"Do you know how many people slept in that bed you're going to marry?" Manon asks.
"Don't be weird."
-
In the suite, Sophia unpacks methodically. Toiletries first. She folds a sweater. Refolds it. Puts it in the drawer, takes it out, puts it back.
Short windows. Just this hour. Not the full trip.
"Okay," Lara says, appearing in the doorway with her arms crossed. "The plane."
"Nothing happened on the plane."
"You were holding your breath for forty minutes."
"I was breathing normally —"
"Sophia." Lara crosses into the room. "I was watching you not breathe while Dani slept on your shoulder. You looked like someone doing a hostage video who's been told to act natural and isn't very good at it."
Sophia sets down her moisturizer. "I'm fine."
"You are very much not fine. You're disturbed, even."
"She's straight. It's fine."
"The trip is four days. Four days, Sophia. You cannot hold your breath for four days."
"Watch me."
From her bed, Yoonchae turns a page of her book. "She will not be fine."
"Thank you, Yoonchae. Very helpful."
Megan barges in from her room, snacks in hand. "Who's ready to party?!" She throws the mini bags at them like she's Oprah.
Lara laughs. Yoonchae smacks the bag coming at her out of the air.
Four days, Sophia tells herself.
Four days.
-
They find a bar off the main strip that Lara has starred in three different apps, and the night settles.
Megan gets into a competitive argument with a stranger about which city has the best pizza. The stranger is from Chicago. Neither party shows any signs of standing down.
Manon wins forty dollars at the bar's slot machine and declares that this is only the beginning and she has an unbeatable, flawless system.
Yoonchae nurses one drink for two hours and observes the room without comment.
Dani and Sophia end up next to each other at the bar. No decision, just where they land. The bar is loud enough that you have to lean in to hear anything, so they're close. Sophia has ordered something with too much lime and Dani keeps stealing it.
"Get your own."
"Yours is better."
"Order yours better."
"That's not how ordering works."
"It is. You ask for more of what you want. That's the whole system."
"I didn't know what I wanted," Dani says, stealing the glass again, "until I had yours."
Sophia looks at her for a second too long.
Dani is looking at the bar.
She still has no idea.
"Have mine."
Dani grins and takes a proper sip. Sophia turns back to the room.
Two hours pass like forty minutes.
Megan's pizza argument reaches what she calls a détente, which means she's decided she's won and the Chicago stranger has decided to stop engaging.
Yoonchae finishes her drink and orders another, which Megan clocks and announces as a personal victory.
Manon wins another thirty dollars and starts explaining her system to Lara, who is taking notes she does not intend to use.
Dani and Sophia stay at the bar.
They talk about the trip — Manon's system, Megan's pizza vendetta, Lara's itinerary with three items still unchecked — and then about things that aren't the trip. A paper Sophia has due that she's trying not to think about. Something Dani saw on the walk from the airport that she keeps coming back to. A question that doesn't really have an answer but is interesting to think about out loud, which is the category of questions Dani likes best.
At one point Dani reaches over and takes a piece of whatever is on the appetizer plate in front of Sophia without looking or asking.
Sophia watches her do it and goes back to what she was saying.
Later, Dani laughs at something she's telling Sophia — not at Sophia, just at the story — and she tips her head back. That laugh.
A Tuesday night in the library, ten months ago. They'd ended up at the same table by accident and stayed four hours talking about nothing — a movie Dani hated and Sophia loved, whether airports should have beds, Dani's theory that every person has a signature wrong opinion that tells you everything about them. At some point Dani had laughed like this — head tipped back, unguarded — and Sophia had looked at her and understood what was happening.
She has not said it out loud since. Not to Lara. Not to Yoonchae. Not to herself in any way that makes it real.
Sophia orders another drink.
-
They get back to the hotel at 2am. In the elevator Dani is leaning against the wall, looser than usual, the version of her that appears after the second drink. She and Sophia are shoulder to shoulder, a default position at this point, and when the elevator hits the fourteenth floor, Dani's hand finds Sophia's arm as she pushes off the wall.
"Night," Dani says at her door. She squeezes Sophia's hand once — brief and unconscious — before disappearing inside.
Sophia stands in the hallway for a beat longer than she needs to.
"Come on," Lara says at her elbow.
"I'm fine."
"I know."
-
The hotel pool operates at the precise intersection of beautiful and excessive that Las Vegas has apparently decided is mandatory.
Megan has claimed six chairs. Manon is on a lounger in a hat that costs more than most people's rent, looking either famous or like she would prefer not to be approached. Yoonchae sits at the pool's edge with her feet in the water and her book open — the only acceptable pool activity, she has stated.
Dani and Sophia arrive together because they walked down together, which happened because Sophia stopped by their room and Dani came out four minutes later with her hair still damp from the shower, in a green swimsuit, squinting against the daylight.
Sophia looked at the elevator buttons for the whole ride down.
The problem starts because Megan looks up from her phone, assesses the pool, identifies a group playing chicken fights in the deep end, and makes a decision.
"We're doing that."
"We are not doing that," Yoonchae says flatly.
"We are absolutely doing that. I need Dani and Sophia for our team."
"Why us?"
"Because you're the most coordinated and there's a bachelorette party over there that woke me up at 3am singing Don't You Want Me. The year of accountability is now!"
Sophia looks at Dani. Dani looks at Sophia.
They get in the pool.
Sophia's on Dani's shoulders. Dani wades into the chest-deep water and holds her legs. They win easily, because Sophia's competitive streak is something she doesn't advertise and the bachelorette party is much drunker than they are.
Sophia tips forward in her victory, already laughing, and Dani catches her — both hands to her waist, pulling her off her shoulders and down into the water. The momentum carries them together. Dani doesn't quite set her down. Sophia ends up chest-deep, Dani's hands still on her waist, both of them laughing, faces a foot apart.
Dani is grinning.
Sophia is looking at her.
This is the part where the laugh should carry them somewhere else. Sophia should say something and step back.
But she doesn't.
She just looks at Dani. And Dani is still smiling but the smile is fading at the edges, the mouth still up but the eyes different. Her hands are still on Sophia's waist. Her eyes are on Sophia's mouth for half a second and then they aren't, like she caught herself doing it.
It lasts about four seconds.
Megan saves them by screaming "we won!" from the shallow end.
Dani's hands leave her waist. She takes a small step back. "Yeah. We won."
"Great teamwork," Sophia says, and turns and swims toward the steps.
Dani watches her go. Just watching because she won, obviously. She pushes wet hair back from her face. The bachelorette party is still screaming about something. Dani pushes off the bottom of the pool and swims after Megan, because that's what you do, you go hang out with your friend who just won a chicken fight.
-
The casino that evening is all six of them, winning and losing the same two hundred dollars across three hours. Megan loses fifty dollars and gains it back and loses it again in a cycle she describes as character building. Yoonchae wins steadily by following basic strategy she has memorized without explaining when or why. Manon plays with the easy confidence of someone who has done this before in contexts that were not a vacation.
Dani and Sophia end up at the same end of the table, making decisions simultaneously.
"Stay," Dani says, when Sophia has a twelve against a dealer's six.
"I know."
She stays. The dealer busts. They win.
Dani grins at her from the next seat. Not at the win. Just at Sophia.
Sophia looks away first.
-
Manon gets a call at dinner and goes quiet in the way she goes quiet — not dramatic, just inward — and Lara stays with her. Yoonchae announces she'll make sure Megan gets back safely.
"I don't need supervision," Megan protests.
"You have mustard on your forehead," Yoonchae says flatly.
Megan checks. There really is mustard on her forehead.
"I'll supervise," Yoonchae concludes, and hands Megan a napkin.
Which leaves Dani and Sophia.
They walk in no particular direction and find themselves at a bar that's smaller than the ones they've been to. Corner booth. Low lighting. A jazz band in the back playing something slow and blue and unhurried.
They have two drinks. Maybe three.
The conversation drops to a lower register. They talk about the trip and then about things that aren't the trip and then about things that don't have a category. The lamp between them is warm. Dani is leaning forward the way she does when she's paying attention — she closes distance when something interests her, always has — and Sophia is doing the work of looking at her like a normal person would look at a friend.
"Do you ever feel like you're waiting for something?" Sophia asks. She doesn't mean to say it, but it comes out anyway.
Dani thinks about it.
"Like what kind of something?"
"I don't know. Something specific. Something that's just yours."
Dani turns her glass slowly. "Yeah. I think I know what you mean. I think I've had the feeling and I just — haven't looked at it straight on."
"Why not?"
"Because looking at things straight on means deciding what to do about them. And I'm not always good at that part."
Sophia looks at her.
There is something she could say right now. She can feel the shape of it. I've been in love with you for ten months. It would be so easy. They're two drinks in and the city is outside the window and the jazz band is playing and Dani is looking at her like she's the most interesting thing in the room.
She doesn't say it.
She puts it back where it lives.
"What?" Dani asks.
"Nothing. Just thinking."
Dani studies her for a moment. Then looks back at her glass.
Neither of them says anything for a second.
"Should we get another drink?" Dani asks.
"Yeah. Let's get another drink."
-
They're collecting their jackets and Sophia stands up and they're closer than she accounted for. The booth is narrow. Dani is right there, already standing. Her jacket is half on. She hasn't moved to finish putting it on.
Sophia has her hand on the back of the booth. She was reaching for something — her own jacket, a bag — and forgot what.
Dani's eyes are on her face.
Sophia is close enough to see the exact color of Dani's eyes, which she knows the color of, which she has known the color of for ten months, and is seeing now anyway like new information.
Dani's eyes drop to her mouth. Just once. Brief.
She doesn't look away after.
Sophia does not move.
Dani leans in and kisses her.
It's soft and slightly off-center. Sophia's hand is still on the back of the booth. Dani's hand comes up halfway to Sophia's face and stops — doesn't finish the gesture, just hovers there, like she's deciding something mid-motion.
Three seconds. Maybe four.
They pull back.
Dani's mouth opens. "Sophia —"
"There you are!" Megan shouts, arriving from the direction of the bar wearing glitter on her collarbone and the energy of a comet. "I've been looking everywhere. Come on, there's a chapel — there is literally a chapel right on the strip, walk-ins welcome, and I triple-dog dare you —"
"That skips double."
"I know! That's how you know I mean it. Come on —"
Sophia looks at Dani.
Dani looks at Sophia.
There's something unfinished between them. But Megan is already grabbing both their wrists and pulling, and the strip is outside, and the night is warm.
"Okay," Dani says.
"Okay."
-
The officiant's name is Gary.
He’s in his sixties with reading glasses on a chain. He performs the ceremony like he is processing a transaction. There are silk flowers. There’s a recorded piano through a Bluetooth speaker that Gary has to restart once because it went to his personal playlist. There’s a vending machine in the lobby that sells three ring options, and Dani spends four dollars in quarters picking one out for Sophia's finger and three more finding one that fits her own.
She does it carefully.
Megan is the witness. She is crying. Genuine, helpless tears. She’s also taking photos at a rate that confirms she has abandoned all other roles.
Gary reads from a laminated card. He does not embellish.
The ceremony takes six minutes.
Gary gets to the do you take part.
Sophia looks at Dani.
Dani is wearing her shirt and Sophia's cardigan over it — she was cold earlier, Sophia gave it to her, neither of them thought to take it back. The cardigan is dark green and slightly too long at the sleeves and Dani has pushed them up. One sleeve is pushed higher than the other. The vending-machine ring is in Dani's hand, loose between her fingers.
Dani's hair is coming out of whatever she did with it earlier. There's a piece of it against her jaw.
Sophia looks at her and lets herself look.
"I do," Sophia says.
"I do," Dani says back.
Gary declares them married. Megan makes a noise like a small explosion.
Dani kisses her — once, briefly, the second time tonight — and Gary is already handing them paperwork.
"Those are my friends!" Megan wails to Gary and the universe.
Gary begins processing the paperwork. He does not react.
-
They get back to the hotel at 2:30am.
They end up in the hallway between their rooms. Not Dani's room. Not the suite. Just the hallway, fluorescent and slightly too cold.
"So," Dani says.
"So."
The thing from the bar is still there. Three-second kiss, the interrupted Sophia —. The chapel didn't close it. The chapel just gave it legal documentation.
Dani opens her mouth. Closes it.
The hallway hums with the building's ambient noise. Somewhere below them a car horn sounds and fades. The fluorescent light overhead is doing nothing romantic for either of them.
Sophia waits.
"We should probably sleep," Dani says finally.
"Yeah. We should."
Neither of them moves.
Dani's thumb is at the vending-machine ring on her finger, holding it in place. She's been doing that since Gary handed it to her.
"Night," Dani says.
"Night."
Dani goes into her room. The door closes.
She stands with her back against it for a second. Takes off the cardigan — Sophia's cardigan, still on her, she forgot to give it back — and holds it.
Just holds it.
Manon is asleep in the other bed. The vending-machine ring is still on her finger. Dani looks at it, turns it, does not take it off.
She hangs the cardigan over the chair.
She gets into bed in her clothes.
-
Sophia stands in the hallway for a moment.
Then she goes to the suite, gets into bed, and lies awake.
The suite is dark. Lara is asleep. Yoonchae got in sometime after them.
Sophia lies on her back and looks at the ceiling, with the sound of the city outside and the ring on her finger, which she keeps touching without meaning to.
She is married.
She is married.
There’s a certificate. Gary signed it.
She meant it when she said it. That's not the complicated part — that's the plain part, the part she can look at directly without flinching. She looked at Dani in Gary's Little White Wedding Chapel and said I do and meant it the way she means the things she knows are true.
The complicated part is the bar.
Dani kissed her first.
Not the chapel — the chapel is a dare that got momentum. The bar was something else. The bar was Dani, two drinks in, no audience, eyes dropping to Sophia's mouth before she decided to let them. That's the thing Sophia keeps turning over.
Dani, who has been straight her entire life, who has said so clearly and without apparent ambiguity, who has never once given Sophia reason to think the signal was crossed. Dani kissed her first. Before the dare and before Gary and before any of the context that makes it easy to explain away.
She knows how she would read it if it had happened to someone else. Impulse, drinks, a moment. She knows how to read it safe.
She isn't reading it safe tonight.
She presses her thumb against the ring.