Chapter Text
You slammed your bedroom door shut. Your eyes couldn't stop the tears from flowing uncontrollably, your body was shaking so hard you barely understood how you’d even made it back to your room.
You’d run as fast as your legs could carry you just to reach this sanctuary so you could finally break down. The worried knocks and voices calling your name from the other side had finally faded into silence.
Leaning your head against the wood, you felt the cold hardness of the floor beneath you, your frame still trembling. The memory of the high school reunion flashed through your mind, torturing you all over again.
All through your teens, you’d dreamed of Jin-hyeong returning your feelings, but the truth was he never could. Now, you’d learned he’s marrying his girlfriend and your heart simply can't handle the news.
You know you should be happy for him… that after years of struggle, he finally found his peace. But the truth is, you feel wretched. Maybe you aren't as good a person as you thought, because you find yourself wishing she would just disappear, even if she isn't the one to blame for your misery.
(...)
That was the beginning of your unhappiness and the six months that followed weren't any better. You acted strong because you had no choice, but it cut your soul every time you saw them together. That woman is the reason for those radiant smiles he wears, not you... and now, what's left for you?
Out of nowhere, your father decided to marry you with Han Su-gang. The mere thought makes your skin crawl. He was the one who bullied Jin-hyeong and caused him so much trouble back in school. The fact that he was never punished doesn't erase the crimes he committed. You remember vividly how everyone was terrified of him... and now, you are terrified to be in his hands. You know you shouldn't judge people before getting to know them, but he is different.
On your wedding day, you were so nervous you would have gladly run away, but you couldn't. Your father would have hated you and you’ve barely managed to earn a shred of his trust as it is, your relationship has always been strained by the simple fact that you were born out of infidelity. You only know how to do what others expect of you. Now, you look like a princess in the wedding dress your husband had custom-made for you, your hair swept up in a simple but elegant bun at the nape of your neck.
You didn't dare look at him throughout the ceremony, but you could feel the dangerous aura radiating from his body. Hearing his deep and gravelly voice recite his vows paralyzed you, you looked up for only a fraction of a second because you couldn't bear the weight of his intense gaze. Even at the reception, you couldnt look at him. Sitting beside him was the strangest thing in the world. Your heart was racing from fear and the nerves kept you trembling.
When your parents congratulated you, you wanted to scream. Seeing them so happy felt like they were mocking your misfortune, but once again, you put on a brave face and thanked them.
What else could you do?
Being in the mansion the Han family gifted you brought a fresh wave of reality. Your body started shaking again, despite your best efforts to contain it. You followed him into the bedroom in a daze, hands pressed to your chest, trying to steady yourself.
Accepting the marriage was one thing, but consummating it was another... and no matter how much you wanted to hide your fear, you couldn't. This is Han Su-gang… he surely had noticed by now.
"Are you going to speak?" hearing his voice made you jump.
For the first time, you actually looked at him. His face was empty of all expression, as if he hadn't even spoken. He carried himself with an elegance that felt laced with the danger that defines him. He began to take off his blazer and the trembling returned. You must have looked terrified, hugging yourself and trying to shrink away.
"I didn't think you'd actually be this submissive..."
He reached you so quickly you didn't even see him move. Hearing those words caught you off guard. He ran his thumb over your bottom lip, the warmth of his hand steadying your jaw. You made the mistake of looking into his eyes again, feeling even more vulnerable as your vision blurred with tears that refused to fall.
"Come on, babe... relax" he said, though the request did nothing to help.
You know what’s coming and you never dreamed it would be like this. Even that first kiss, which was nothing more than a graze of the lips, hadn't hurt… but your first time? Sealing this marriage felt like a nightmare.
Su-gang traced a crooked, almost twisted smirk as he leaned toward you. You could feel his warm breath against your ear as his thumb stopped moving, resting firmly against your face.
"You have no fucking idea how long I’ve dreamed of this moment" he said. You went rigid at the harshness of his words. "You thought you were invisible in high school, but I always saw you. You were so weak, so desperate for someone to take care of you... it always turned me on."
Your hands acted on their own, pressing against his chest to push him away, though you only managed to make him let go. Your breathing grew ragged. How could he say that to you?
Seeing him look so serious again confused you... it was as if he had not said anything at all. How could those kinds of words come from someone so stoic? Then you noticed his bare torso, you were so distracted you hadn't realized he’d undressed. You blushed instantly and dropped your gaze to your feet.
This was so uncomfortable. You really didn't want this to happen. You wanted to bolt, but you knew he was faster and would only make things harder. You had no choice but to comply with whatever your new husband wanted.
"What is it?" His voice came out raspy. You took a deep breath, trying to mutter a simple "nothing," but the words wouldn't come. "Am I going to have to rip the words out of you?"
The threat sent adrenaline through your veins. Your breathing became shallow. You tried to gulp in the air, to not lose yourself in the abyss, but you couldnt speak. You could only look up at him again, trying to find your voice, but nothing left your throat.
Then he kissed you and his movements were rough. He licked your lips at first, then sucked on them before his tongue forced its way into your mouth. You wanted to pull away as your held-back tears finally spilled down your cheeks, but he gripped your waist, preventing any escape.
Just as you were about to run out of air, he bit your lower lip, tugging on it as he pulled back just enough to break the kiss… though his hands stayed clamped firmly to your waist. His eyes made you shiver, he narrowed them as he leaned back into your ear.
"I don't want to scare you... that isn't my goal. So stop fucking shaking already" he said, his voice laced with annoyance you couldn't handle. "I'm going to make you shake for a different reason".
"P-please..." you managed to squeeze out.
You didn't know if you were begging him to stop or to stop saying such inappropriate things. He let out a sound that was the ghost of a laugh.
"I like that stutter, for some sick reason" he commented. His hands began to slide up and down your back in what felt like a delicate caress. "Though I want to hear your real voice, too. Your normal one."
His lips pressed against your cheek in soft kisses that only intensified your fear. You closed your eyes, trying to resign yourself to this.
"Honey, you have no fucking idea how many times I followed you, wanting you exactly like this. I had to pull a few strings to make it happen, but I don't regret a thing."
"What?" you asked, unable to help yourself.
His lips trailed down to your neck and, though you didn't want the kisses, your body reacted in a way you couldn't control. They made you feel... strange.
"It’s not time for you to know that yet. Just know that I am going to take care of you..."
For some reason, his revelation made you seek out his gaze… that dark stare that, while unfamiliar, you realized was not lying.
"W-why?" you asked and he traced the shadow of a smile.
"There are plenty of reasons. The obvious one is that you’re my wife now. The real one and it’s time you knew… is that I like you too much. You make me feel things I don't like." He narrowed his eyes, appearing almost angry, though you didn't understand what he meant. "And the most twisted reason of all? I want you. I want you to be the mother of my heirs."
He stroked your stomach and you felt like you were falling into a void. You broke eye contact, wanting to escape again.
Su-gang is handsome... undeniably so. You were aware that plenty of women would kill to be in your place, and though you felt a strange sense of being flattered by his words, you just wanted to leave. He took your hands and you let him, your mind too muddled to resist. But the warmth of his chest against your palms brought you back to his face. His eyes were closed as he guided your hands over his torso and you swallowed hard, realizing he was making you touch him and that he was enjoying it.
"You're mine now."
His possessive words stole your breath. He opened his eyes and let go of your hands only to grip your hips and pull your bodies flush together.
"What are you afraid of?" he asked. Obviously, you couldn't say anything. "Is it me? Do you think I'll hurt you?" he questioned gruffly.
"W-why wouldn't you?" you managed to ask. He looked annoyed and you shivered in his arms again.
"You are the only person who can say I wont."
Again, you saw no lie in his eyes. He took your right hand and gave a firm tug, spinning you around. He pressed your back against his chest, his arms locking around your waist. The first thing you saw was the massive bed with its navy blue comforter. Your breathing hitched, your heart was hammering.
"And that’s a promise. I just want you to trust me, beautiful" he said. Your heart skipped a beat at the nickname, it almost sounded lovely. "I wont hurt you, but I want you to love me. Because otherwise, you might see my worst side for yourself."
You turned your head to look at him. You understood a husband wanting his wife to have feelings for him, but the way he said it... you wondered if he knew about your love for Jin-hyeong. Had you really been that careless?
You bit your lip nervously. He began to undo the fastenings of your dress and you squeezed your eyes shut, overwhelmed. His lips found your neck, licking your skin and you shuddered. It wasn't exactly fear this time, it was an electric sensation shooting through your body that shouldn't have been there. His hands found your breasts and your mouth fell open in surprise. You immediately placed your hands over his to push them away but you stopped, ashamed of your own reaction.
What’s the point? He’s going to do it anyway.
"They're softer than I imagined" he remarked. If you could have turned any redder, you would have. "Go on, then... push me away" he ordered and it was only then you realized your grip on his hands was actually quite strong.
"Y-you're too strong. I... I couldn't" you replied.
It was only logical. You could push him, but he could just touch you again instantly. He kissed your cheek and let go of your breasts.
"You haven't realized the power you have over me and, in a way, that’s a good thing. But I’ll tell you a secret... I’ll do anything you want. Dammit, I only got married to have you and believe me… marriage was never in my plans."
Now that he said that and your brain had calmed down slightly, you realized that in almost every sentence, he was admitting his obsession for you. It was clear he was giving you time to process it... otherwise, he would have taken you already. He was going slow, wanting you to get used to the idea or maybe he is just prolonging the torture.
"I really don't want to take you by force, but you're making me wait too long" he murmured.
He took your right hand in his, guiding it back and you finally felt the hardness in his pants. Your eyes widened as you realized what it was.
"You feel that? I’m like this because of you. It’s not the first time. It happened so often, watching you from a distance... this was the result." He kissed your neck wetly, letting out a gasp that made your skin prickle. "You’re truly beautiful. Your body is perfect... your breasts drive me crazy. I just want to mark them and kiss them until you are screaming my name."
His left hand traveled back up to cup you, squeezing with a suppressed urgency. At the same time, he guided your hand to rub him. It was embarrassing but you didn't fight him… you just let him lead, caught in his magnetism. His fingers slipped under your clothes and the direct contact with your skin made you vibrate. His touch burned and the sensation was hard to explain, but it felt like your body had been waiting for him.
You closed your eyes so you wouldn't have to think. His long fingers caught your nipple, teasing it and you had to bite your lip to stay silent. He let go of your hand, but soon moved it back along his length… and this time, you could feel the heat of his hard dick without any barriers. A slickness dampened your fingers, but he didn't stop the movement.
Suddenly, he forced you to turn around so you were face-to-face. His eyes looked different, almost feral. He made your clothes fall to the floor with a dexterity that scared you and, in a heartbeat, you were totally exposed. You shrunk back, trying to cover yourself, but you made the mistake of looking down and seeing him fully hard.
When did he even get undressed?
"Don't think" he ordered, pressing his forehead against yours. He took your hands to break your grip so you’d stop covering yourself. "Look only at me."
He licked his lips as his eyes raked over your body. You bit your lip from the anxiety, but he caught your chin with his teeth, forcing you to stop from the pressure.
"Don't do that. I don't want you hurting yourself" he said with an unexpected softness that made your heart flip. "You're so fucking beautiful."
He kissed you with a demanding passion. This time, you kissed him back, however clumsily. You felt desired for the first time in your life and the feeling of being the center of the universe for someone as dangerous as him finally made you feel... at home in your own skin.
You don't know how you ended up sitting on the edge of the bed with him kneeling between your legs. His mouth caught one of your breasts while his hands played with the other. You couldn't hold back the sounds anymore, your moans filled the room. He moved from one to the other with a ravenous hunger. You felt like a doll in his hands… malleable and fragile.
You opened your eyes to find him smiling. He slowly brought his face down and you felt his hot breath against your intimacy, sending a delicious shiver through you. He took your legs, spreading them wider to kiss you there. You blushed and tried to stop him, but he held onto you. You melted into the overwhelming sensation, your hands resting weakly on his head as you arched your back, feeling him use his tongue.
"Su-gang..." you moaned, head falling back.
You were losing your mind. His fingers massaged you with a precision that shattered all your defenses. That feeling that had pooled in your belly finally exploded, releasing an energy that made you shake and lose all your strength as you heard him swallow your climax.
When you opened your eyes, the first thing you saw was his face. He kissed you, his lips tasting salty. He lifted you just to lay you back on the comforter and, within seconds, his scent overwhelmed you. He positioned himself between your legs, staring at you.
"I didn't think you'd be this intense in bed" he commented with a smirk. Your shame returned and you looked away, but you heard his laugh, which was starting to sound beautiful to you. "Don't be afraid. I dont intend to hurt you. I have held back for months... What's a few more minutes?"
"Why me?" you managed to ask, needing to understand the obsession.
"Why you what?" he responded gruffly.
"Why do you like me so much?"
"I don't know. You're different" he confessed, his gaze turning dark. "At first, you didn't seem like anything special. You looked weak, dull... but you were still beautiful. Your eyes caught me back in high school, even though you never gave me a second look. I made a thousand plans just to get you to look at me, but you always ignored me because your eyes were on that idiot Jin-hyeong. He never looked at you the way I do. I told myself I just wanted one night with you to get you out of my head, but no woman had ever ignored me like that. You bruised my ego, and the only way to make sure you belonged to me forever was to make you my wife."
You were breathless. Had he orchestrated all of this because of an obsession born years ago?
"And when you get what you want... what will you do?"
"Don't you get it yet?" he asked exasperatedly, pressing himself against you, making you gasp. "I'm not playing with you. I dont just want you... I want you all to myself. For life." He kissed you again. "I’ll make you forget him. You’ll only think of me."
He knelt between your legs and positioned himself. You felt yourself open up to receive him. He threw his head back and the initial pain made you clench your hands. He looked at you again and leaned in for a fleeting kiss. He let go of one of your legs and braced his hand beside your head... and now it was you who was lost in that dark gaze.
"Dont worry... it'll pass soon."
He kept moving with a slow but steady push. You let out a whimper and hugged his neck, trying to hide. The pain began to give way to a strange sense of fullness. He started to pull back and thrust again, a rhythm that made your heart race.
"Su-gang" you gasped his name, tempted to beg him not to stop, but your shyness won out.
His face told you he was worried, waiting for you to say something, but you couldn't. You just hugged his neck tighter. He slowed down, careful not to hurt you.
"What is it? Does it hurt?" he asked, letting go of your leg to try and pull back so he could see your face.
"No... just keep going" you replied, clinging to him out of embarrassment.
Su-gang thrust back into you and feeling him inside again, you let go. You settled onto the bed, bringing your hands to his arms. He braced himself on both sides of your head, looking down with a smirk.
"You're so tight... you're gonna drive me crazy" he growled, kissing you tenderly.
The pain vanished completely, replaced by a pleasure you never imagined possible. Your legs locked around his waist and your moans became constant. You stopped worrying about staying quiet, you just wanted to feel more and more of him.
The room filled with the sound of skin on skin and the heat of your bodies. Your hands found his back as he continued to make you his... and you wanted to be his, because you liked him. He leaned down and bit your nipple, sucking it as his tongue made you shiver. He lifted your hips to deepen the contact, thrusting until the world around you disappeared.
A sharp moan escaped you. You focused on him and finally understood why so many girls at school wanted him... he was perfect.
"What are you thinking about, my love? When you make that face, it's because you're doubting yourself" he said, surprising you. "I've learned to read your reactions and what they mean. Shit, don't distract me..."
He kissed you passionately and you responded even more boldly, meeting his tongue with yours. Su-gang accepted it hungrily as he continued to move inside you, making you vibrate. You knew that feeling now. He slid a thumb to your clitoris and pressed, triggering your second orgasm of the night.
Su-gang let out a low growl followed by a moan, perhaps the first one you’d heard from him. You felt him tremble inside you, he gasped and pressed his forehead to yours.
"I love you" he whispered just before finishing.
You were stunned by that confession. He turned your body so you were on your hands and knees. You searched his face, confused by the sudden declaration, but you couldn't help the moan of pleasure as you felt him inside you. He claimed you again and again with renewed strength until you finally collapsed onto the mattress.
(...)
Darkness still reigned when you remained a bit of consciousness. You knew dawn wasn't far off. He was holding you by the waist and you leaned into his side, resting your head on his chest and stroking his cheek.
"Wow, I thought you were out of energy" he murmured, noticing you watching him in the shadows.
"Thank you, Su-gang" you said, hiding against his chest.
"Thank you for what?"
"For seeing me, for choosing me... and for making my heart beat again."
He went rigid for a moment, surprised by your words, before relaxing and kissing the top of your head.
"You're mine" he declared in his raspy voice. "And I always take care of what's mine."
You smiled against his skin. You were going to do everything in your power not to disappoint him… and to make him as happy as he’d made you in just a few short hours.