Chapter Text
...I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other waythan this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.
-Sonnet XVII, Pablo Neruda
Chapter One: The Break
Ren paused in the hallway and looked around the corner through the open sliding door. Director Shingai was talking to an actor who was looking quite impatient.
“If the actress is late, then find another one!”
Shingai bowed. “She is not late. She is never late,” he paused but continued when the actor opened his mouth. “She is not here because I changed the costume at the last minute and sent her with a stylist to try a different kimono. I changed the color scheme.”
The actor huffed. “This is why I hate working with new talent. She should have tried on the kimono days ago.” He walked off.
Ren coughed lightly and Shingai looked over at him. “Ren! Please, come in.”
Ren walked through the door and bowed. “Director Shingai.”
“What are you doing here?”
“I was working on a shoot on the other side of the property and took a walk.”
“So you like snooping around to see what else is being shot?”
Ren nodded. “I suppose. It’s always interesting to see other people’s work ethic.”
“Ah, yes.” Shingai sighed. “He’s a good actor, fits well in these traditional pieces, but doesn’t know the actress I hired since she hasn’t done much in this particular area.”
“Well, I can understand where he is coming from. She should have had the costume check days ago.”
Shingai held up his hands and shook them. “Ah, no, it isn’t like that at all.”
The stylist came into the room and bowed. “Will you take a look, director?”
“Excuse me, Ren. Why don’t you sit and watch a bit?” Shingai motioned to a chair behind his. “I’ve been waiting for the perfect role for this actress since I first met her.”
When Shingai had left, Ren took the proffered seat.
“She’s perfect.” Shingai came back and sat down. “We’re ready, Togo-san.”
The huffy actor took his place on the tatami mats in front of them. Ren finally recognized him. He was usually cast in melodramas about love and duty in traditional Japan. He didn’t really enjoy them and tended to pass on most of the sort of scripts he received.
They were Shingai’s bread and butter though.
The actor took his place. From the room layout it looked like they were going to be filming a tea ceremony scene.
One of the gaffers was readjusting the lights. The camera was moved out the door that Ren had come through to focus instead on the opposite door that led into the room from the outside.
“Action!”
The tabi socks gracefully stepped over the edge of the mat and the woman slid down onto her knees in a shin bow. “Please excuse my rudeness.” She stood and came further in the room before kneeling again next to the tea implements.
Her movements were totally graceful and seemed very familiar to Ren as they watched her make the tea. She turned the cup in her hands before setting it before Togo-san.
The cup was sent flying, dangerously close to the actress’s face. Ren almost stood up, but Shingai touched his arm.
“Do it again.”
The actress bowed, her black hair falling down covering her face from the camera. “Of course.”
The motions were repeated.
When Togo brought the cup to his lips again, he exploded in rage, striking the woman and she collapsed on the tatami mat, her hand pressed to her face as Togo stormed out of the room. There was a long silence and then the soft sound of her crying.
Ren gripped the arms of the chair he was sitting in. He knew that cry. He looked at the woman lying on the tatami mats and then back at his hands. They were white knuckled.
“Cut.”
Togo-san came back in the room to check on his co-star.
“She’s gotten so much better since I first saw her, back when she was battling Ruriko-chan for us.” Shingai was looking at the monitor. “Look at this.”
Ren turned his head to look at the monitor as well. Because of where they had been sitting, they hadn’t been able to watch Kyoko’s face. Because there was no doubt about it. This was definitely Kyoko.
“She didn’t even flinch even though that cup went much closer to her than was intended.” Shingai hummed in thought. “Oh, that’s wonderful, such a great expression, but…”
“Togo-san, Kyoko-chan, I want to do the scene again. Togo-san, the camera picked up your shock when you threw the cup closer to Kyoko then you actually meant to. I need you to maintain that mask of anger. Your character doesn’t care if the cup hits her.” He turned to look at his actress, who had returned to kneeling. “Kyoko-chan, you did exactly what I wanted, but now I want more. At the end, when you look up after Togo leaves, I want you to keep the pain and fear, but I want you to add some loathing right on the end.” He paused. “Do you need to walk around for a minute before doing the tea ceremony again?”
Kyoko shook her head. “I’m fine, I can continue.” Her eyes locked with Ren’s for a brief moment before she returned to her starting position.
“And…. Action!”
Ren sat through the entire second take gripping his armrests tightly and flinched when the cup flew past Kyoko’s face, just as close this time as the first. Just a centimeter or two more and it would have hit her. Instead of watching the rest, Ren directed his gaze so that it was just above the action.
“Cut. Let me look at the playback, and if it’s good we’ll move down the hall and film the bedroom scene.” Shingai was quiet for a moment. “Ah, just what I wanted. Perfect. OK, let’s set up over there.” He turned to Ren. “Do you want to stay?”
It was as if a cold vise had clamped around his heart. He shook his head. “Ah, no. My break is almost over and I need to get into costume myself.” He looked at the still frame on the monitors of Kyoko’s last face. A single tear was rolling down one cheek as she pressed her palm to the other where she had been “hit”. The vise tightened. The look in her eyes was exactly what the director had asked for. “But I can tell this will be a wonderful drama.”
*~*~*
Ren was moody as he sat on his couch that night, glass in hand. The cold that had infiltrated never left even though he’d left the set and gone back to his own. He was hoping the whisky would warm him.
He didn’t look up when the door opened, just stared at his glass. He watched as delicate fingers wrapped around the glass, pressing against his own as they did so. They were soft as they took his drink away and set it on the nearby table.
“I thought we promised that we would try and stay away from each other’s sets.”
His voice was dull when he answered. “I didn’t know it was the set you were working on. You never mentioned that you were working with Director Shingai again.”
Kyoko’s fingers brushed a lock of hair away from his face and he looked up. She was smiling a gentle smile at him. “What’s wrong? Did your shoot not go well?”
“It went fine.” He lifted his hand up and cupped her face. “I can’t get the image of that cup flying at you out of my mind. Or when he ‘hit’ you. I barely managed to stay in my seat.”
Her eyes softened and she leaned down, pressing her lips against his forehead. “It’s probably best that you left then. The scene we filmed afterward was worse in a lot of ways.”
Ren pressed his forehead against her shoulder and wrapped his arms around her waist. The cold had finally started dissipating. “What is this film about, anyway?”
“It’s about a proper young woman who was raised very traditionally and was married off to a rich friend of her father’s who was looking for a second wife. Her husband is cruel and abusive and eventually she runs away, selling her jewelry and finding a job in a shop. One day a customer comes in, he’s completely smitten with her and keeps coming back. They fall in love.” Kyoko’s voice had gotten extra dreamy, but it hardened again. “But it turns out that the man she falls in love with is actually her step-son. The two have an illicit affair anyway, and when her husband finds her and takes her back, she drowns herself. Her lover ends up taking his own life as well. And eventually the husband dies old, lonely and bitter having lost two wives and his only son.” She sighed. “The first part is rather like a fairy tale. Then it all goes wrong.”
He tugged her waist until she sat on one of his knees. “I’ll have to make sure that I stay away from that side of the property if you’ll be shooting over there then.”
“Ah, well, we’ll only be there for the rest of the week to get all the scenes being filmed there. Then we’re moving to a regular studio set at Fuji. Besides, aren’t you done in a day or two anyway?”
He nodded and pressed his lips to the nape of her neck. “Are you staying?”
She hummed and tilted her neck to the side. Ren took advantage and kissed his way to her ear.
“I can’t. I have an early start tomorrow. Getting into those kimonos takes forever.” She reached up so that she could wrap her hand around the back of his head. “But you seemed upset, so I wanted to check on you.”
Ren toyed with the idea of leaving a kiss mark on the back of her neck, but stopped himself. It would make the makeup artist’s job even harder since the time it took to get a girl into costume and makeup for a Yamato Nadeshiko role always took longer. He sighed and leaned back.
“Something wrong?”
He wrapped his arm around her waist and spread his fingers wide over her stomach. “I want to feel your warmth.”
She turned as far as she could so she could kiss him. It was slow yet deep, and he just kissed her back, running his hand up her side. “I can stay for a little while,” she whispered against his lips.
“Please.”
She shifted so she could better kiss him, and he pulled her hair out of the small bun she’d had it in at the nape of her neck. She’d grown out her hair just a bit in the last couple of years. Ren appreciated the extra length as he ran his fingers through it and deepened the kiss, sucking on her bottom lip before just lightly tugging on it with his teeth.
Kyoko’s fingers were already on the buttons of his shirt, undoing them one by one. He tugged the blouse she was wearing out of the skir, sliding his hand under it and up her side until he could cup her breast and slide his thumb across her nipple over her bra. Kyoko’s breath caught and he smiled against her lips.
She gently nipped his bottom lip.
He groaned and broke the kiss, moving instead to kiss her ear and the tender flesh just behind it. “I want to slide into you right now.”
Kyoko’s head tipped back on a moan. “What’s stopping you?”
His hands were only a little clumsy as he pushed the tighter-than-normal skirt up to her hips and she moved off him just long enough to slip her underwear off. He spared a glance for the bit of black lace near his feet before undoing the clasp of his pants and pushing them down just enough.
Kyoko was back to kissing him as she sunk down onto him with a small gasp, and he only just caught the sound over his own moan.
“Missed me?”
Her voice was breathy as she started moving on him. His hands were on her hips and ass, helping her move.
“Yes.”
She laughed as she slowed down, taking him in as far as she could.
He needed to put his mouth on her. He changed gears and brought his fingers to the buttons of the blouse, undoing them as quickly as possible. When her top was open, he pressed his face against her chest and kissed the exposed curve of her breast.
Kyoko rocked her hips and started to move again as he undid the clasp of her bra. He ran his tongue over her nipple, eliciting a small moan, before he sucked her nipple into his mouth and the small moan got louder.
“Kyoko.” He pressed up with his hips. Her rhythm was just a bit too slow, and he knew that she knew it too. “Damnit, Kyoko.”
She took a deep breath and cupped his face with her hands. He stopped what he was doing so she could capture his lips with hers. She moved her hands down to his shoulders and started riding him harder and faster. He groaned.
Kyoko arched her back as she held on to his shoulders and moved hard on him. He stared. She was so goddamn beautiful like this. His breath quickened as Kyoko’s movements got more shallow but faster. He could feel the tension building in his balls and grunted as he came.
Kyoko kept moving for a minute more, her tongue darting out and licking her bottom lip as she tightened around him and came as well. She pressed her forehead to his, breathing heavy. Eventually she slid off of him to the side and leaned back into the cushions next to him.
He looked over at her. She definitely looked like she’d enjoyed herself. He smiled.
She smiled back and reached out to brush his hair out of his eyes before shifting to pull her skirt down.
“Did you come from an interview?”
Kyoko nodded. “The drama special I was filming a couple of months ago is about to air.” She pulled her legs up onto the couch and curled into his side. “Do you feel better?”
“Now that I have something else to focus on when I close my eyes that isn’t you getting tea cups hurled at your head, yes.” He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. “This is what my curiosity gets me.”
Kyoko smiled. “Are you working on that detective drama?”
It was Ren’s turn to nod. “We were doing the ryokan scenes and the place works for that.”
“It does.” Kyoko looked down and started doing up the buttons of her blouse, but Ren stilled her hands with one of his own.
“Don’t go yet.”
Kyoko’s smile was bittersweet. “Didn’t we agree--”
Ren sighed. “Yes, but--”
She put a finger over his lips. “If I recall, this was even your idea.” She tilted her head to the side. Some of the acting mannerisms that she’d used over the years had wormed their way into her day to day life as she got more comfortable with the sides of herself that liked to tease. “Or did you forget?”
He shook his head. “No.” He ran his thumb along her cheek. “I didn’t. I just miss you.”
She turned her head to kiss his thumb. “One more month. We can do it.”
He pressed his forehead against hers.
*~*~*
Ren reached out. Kyoko’s side of the bed was cold. As always of late. He rolled onto his side and sighed. One more month, though this was going to be the hardest month. Most of it he’d be spending on location out of the country.
He swung his legs off the bed and stretched. Today he had a meeting with the producer for the back half of the movie production. They’d taken a break while they waited for the seasons to change. The visuals were important, so they had to wait until it was Sakura season. First they had some scenes to shoot here in Japan, and then the production would move over to another location before finally finishing in an L.A. studio.
But before anything else was to be done today, he had an appointment with Miss Woods.
So out of bed and to the bathroom. He purposely avoided looking at the small set of beauty products that had been relegated to a small corner of the counter Kyoko would use when she stayed over. He grabbed his contacts case and shoved it into his pocket.
Coffee, and then he’d go.
*~*~*
“So you were finishing up a drama shoot before you had all of this to do?”
Ren nodded. “I shouldn’t be needed on the set any longer.” He sighed. “It’ll be fairly problematic if I am, actually.”
“Well, it’s not like you’re going to be you, are you?” Miss Woods spun him in the chair toward the mirror. “Though I don’t know if I’ve forgiven you for not telling me your real name until all this nonsense started.”
Ren smiled. “I’m sorry, Miss Woods.”
She twisted a lock of his blond hair around her finger. “Nonsense. Darling had his reasons as did you. You’re still Ren-chan. Though I really am put out that I didn’t realise you are your mother’s son. I mean, this hair.” She gave a slight tug and then dropped the lock. “I think you’re done.”
He stood and bowed. “Thanks.”
*~*~*
When he left Miss Woods’ room he was no longer Ren, but Kuon. He fell easily into the relaxed gait he’d used most of his life before becoming Ren. He ran a hand through his hair and pushed the sleeves of his white button-down shirt up to his elbows.
He hailed a taxi and gave the address of the temporary production offices. He also had easily fallen back into his American-accented Japanese.
He couldn’t differentiate which one was the act anymore: Tsuruga Ren or Hizuri Kuon.
He walked down the hall and into the production offices. A handful of the cast were gathered there already, since it was their first real day back to work.
“Kuon!” A pretty brunette ran up to him and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. “I was hoping that you’d be here. You said that you couldn’t go out last night, so I wasn’t even sure that you’d gotten to Tokyo yet.”
He bent down and kissed her cheek in return. “Ah, yeah. I was here but pretty exhausted. Where did you guys end up?”
The other male lead sighed. “The hotel bar. Seriously. You didn’t miss out at all.”
Kuon chuckled. “That’s something at least.”
The director and producer came out into the small lobby and the director clapped his hands a couple of times. “Okay. So here’s the deal. We need to get some further costume fittings done, then we need to run some chemistry tests with Kuon and Taylor.”
“The local girls for the yakuza link?”
The director nodded. “I’ve put in a call to one of the agencies here, LME, to see if they had any actresses that could work on the film and that maybe speak English. So we’ll see, but just in case,” he looked at Kuon, “how’s your Japanese? I know your dad still speaks it.”
“And he made me learn it. I’m pretty fluent actually, as long as you’re not asking me to read it, and even then, I could probably get by.” It was better for him, at the moment, to be vague.
“Great, so can I rely on you?”
Kuon nodded.
*~*~*
It was strange, being in Fuji Studios as anyone else other than Tsuruga Ren. Kuon stretched his arms over his head and yawned. That was definitely something he couldn’t have gotten away with as Ren. Taylor elbowed him and he turned his head. “What?”
“Those girls over there are staring.” He smiled at them. “They’re cute, right?”
Kuon shrugged. “I guess.” Neither of them was Kyoko, so he really didn’t care. “When are these tests supposed to start?”
“The director said that we were just waiting for the girls to show up.” Taylor looked around. “I feel like a giant.”
Kuon snorted. “It’s not that bad.” From the corner of his eye, he could have sworn he’d seen Kyoko turning a corner, and he turned his head to look.
“Ok, they’re here, but only one of them speaks English, so we might need your help depending on her proficiency, Kuon.”
Kuon stood and turned to face the director that had walked out of an office. The two actors followed him to one of the studios. It was pretty much just a blank set without any dressing and a couple of cameras set up. The Japanese crew were bustling around, trying to get things set up for the chemistry tests.
Kuon heard some familiar voices. No. The president didn’t. What was he thinking? Walking onto the set in their pink overalls were three members of the Love Me department.
“What in god’s name are they wearing?!”
Kuon just shook his head. He honestly didn’t know what else he could do. Kyoko was purposely not looking at him and was instead talking to Kanae. Chiori was looking around and grumbling at the other two girls. Kanae was just glaring.
“This is not what I was hoping for when they said they’d be hiring some local actresses. I mean the tall one is hot, but the other two...”
Kuon closed his eyes so he wouldn’t glare at his co-star. “Don’t be like that.”
“They’re wearing pink overalls. Pepto Bismol-pink overalls.”
It’d been a while since Kuon had seen that uniform. He thought Kyoko was looking particularly cute, actually. She caught his eye and frowned before looking elsewhere. She didn’t look pleased to be here though.
“The one with the brown hair doesn’t seem to like us, though. She keeps glaring this way.”
Kuon shrugged. “Maybe she had something better to do?” Like actual drama work. Kuon wondered how this was going to impact the filming schedule of the drama he’d seen her in a few days ago. He knew that Kanae was also working on a drama, but couldn’t remember if Kyoko had mentioned anything about Chiori.
“So let’s go introduce you.” The two men followed the director over. He bowed awkwardly and Kuon could see Chiori roll her eyes. “So, hello, again.”
The three girls all bowed at the same time and said hello in Japanese.
Taylor gave a little bow and tried his hand at saying hello in Japanese. It wasn’t half bad, but then it was only one word.
Then it was his turn. He didn’t bother with English at all. He gave a proper bow. “Hello. I am Hizuri Kuon. This is James Taylor, and I believe that you’ve already met the director. Please to make your acquaintance. I hope that you will take care of us.”
Chiori was the first to introduce herself. “Amamiya Chiori. Thank god you speak Japanese. Not half bad either.”
“Kotonami Kanae.”
“Kyoko.”
Kuon related the information to his co-star.
“Cool. Does anyone speak English at all?”
Kyoko spoke up in English. “Some, however, Kotonami-san and Amamiya-san do not.”
The director clapped. “Well it seems like we won’t have too much of a language barrier thanks to Kuon and Kyoko.”
“Kyoko-san.” Kuon corrected him.
“What?”
“-san. Director. Kyoko-san.”
“Oh yeah, that’s right!” Some music started blaring over the speakers and the group flinched before it was quickly turned off, then back on at a lower level. They were trying to get the volume adjusted. After a minute, it turned off altogether.
The director asked Kuon to give the girls a little rundown of the plot of the movie they were doing. The gist of the whole thing was that Kuon and Taylor were playing some college hackers who were trying to stop some crazy global conspiracy. Some clue led them to Tokyo where they had a run-in with the girls and then the yakuza while trying to acquire a flash drive, before going to Europe and then eventually back to the States, where they defeated the conspiracy and some stuff blew up.
“And they say that Japanese film is stupid? What the hell?” Chiori snarked.
Kuon bit his lip.
“Ah, she says it sounds really interesting.” Kyoko said in English for the rest of the group.
“I bet you didn’t even tell them what I actually said, senpai.”
“If she did you’d be kicked off the set in a minute.” Kanae smiled broadly. “We just have to smile and pretend we find it all fascinating. And as long as no one pisses off Kyoko, she’ll just tell them what they want to hear.”
Kuon coughed and she looked over at him and her eyes widened. Apparently she’d already forgotten that he spoke Japanese. “They’re really looking forward to the work.” He said.
Kyoko leaned over and whispered in Kanae’s ear, and her face returned to the cool, blank look he was used to.
*~*~*
“We’re supposed to find them interesting because they are foreign.” Kyoko was translating what the director was saying. And she was doing it very liberally. Kuon admitted that the whole “fascinated by the ‘good-looking’ foreigners’” thing was a bit trite. “So, yes, I guess he wants us to hit on them or something and just improv the scene.”
Kuon smiled. He couldn’t help himself. Kyoko sounded so disgruntled about the whole thing. He wondered what the president had blackmailed her with to get her on this assignment. Actually, what had he used against all the girls, for that matter.
“Everything good, Kuon?”
He nodded. “Yeah. Should we take our places?”
The director motioned to the “bar” and the two men went over. From the side of his eye he watched as the girls all gathered over by the “entrance” and started whispering amongst themselves. It was too low for him to actually hear.
“What are they saying?”
He shook his head. “No clue.” Though he probably would have said the same thing even if he did know what they were saying.
The music came on and he watched as Kanae and Chiori started dancing. Kyoko walked past them and toward the bar, but not toward them.
“Interesting.” Taylor sidled over to where Kyoko was and started talking to her. “Hey.”
She glanced over with a blank expression before turning it into a smile. Kuon hadn’t seen that look since she’d acted as Natsu in Box “R” . “Hey, yourself.” She turned back to the bar.
Kuon forced his attention away from what the two were doing and looked back toward the other two girls, smiling at them. Kanae returned his smile with a flirtatious look and Chiori looked away. She was probably going for a more shy reaction.
He pushed off the bar and headed over to them. “A drink?” he said in Japanese.
Kanae nodded and grabbed Chiori’s wrist, and the three went back to the bar. Chiori leaned up against the bar and popped one leg up at the knee. “An umeshu sawa!” She smiled at the guy they had asked to stand there.
Kanae played it much cooler. “Highball.”
He leaned over. “I like your taste.”
She smiled.
He couldn’t resist any longer and looked up to see how Taylor was faring with Kyoko. His eyes reflexively narrowed. She was definitely flirting with him and he seemed to be eating it up. Kuon forced himself to smile, looked back at the two other girls, and continued the scene.
*~*~*
“OK, good. This works. I actually like the dynamic of having all three of you.”
Kyoko sighed. She’d purposely tried to balls it up by not dancing with the other two girls, even if she didn’t really know how to dance anyway. None of them were really the type to hit up the clubs. “He likes the way the three of us played it. It sounds like he’s going to keep all of us.”
“Sorry, Kyoko-chan.”
Kanae leaned in. “I think he would have kept you anyway because you’re the one who speaks English.”
She nodded. “This messes up my entire shooting schedule.”
Chiori looked angry and then worried. “Did Togo-san really threaten to walk off the shoot?”
Kyoko nodded. “Director Shingai was trying to talk him out of it when I left. He’s the more established actor and has the right to be upset by this.” She took a deep breath. “What was that man thinking when he assigned me this nonsense?” She turned back to the group and switched to English. “I’m sorry, I was just explaining that you thought it was good with the three of us. Was I mistaken in that you insinuated you would like to keep all three of us?”
The director nodded. “That’s right. I think it’ll work well if you work with Taylor here, Kyoko-san, since you can converse in English so the English dialogue won’t be a problem. Then we’ll have the other two work with Kuon. Does that work?”
She nodded. “Just what is the shooting schedule?”
The director gave a little shrug. “We’re trying to get some permits so we’re not entirely sure yet.”
Kyoko smiled at him. She saw Kuon looking at her curiously from the corner of her eye.
*~*~*
“The one who speaks Japanese keeps looking at you, Kyoko-chan.”
Kyoko looked over. Kuon was looking at her again. She narrowed her eyes at him and turned away.
Kanae stifled a laugh. “The poor guy looks so confused. You should at least maybe not freeze him with one of your evil glares, he won’t know what hit him. Besides, he can’t possibly know that you’re already seeing anyone.”
Chiori nodded. “It’s not like your relationship is public knowledge. I mean I only know because I caught the two of you dozing off on the couch in the Love Me department and using each other as pillows.” She paused. “Hey, something just occured to me… his last name.”
Kanae nodded. “It’s Hizuri… Do you think?” They both looked at Kyoko. “Was it mentioned if he was related to Kuu?”
Kyoko shook her head.
“You should find out.”
“Why?”
They both looked at her like she was an idiot. “He could be Kuu’s son. That would be awesome to get to work with him.”
Kyoko sighed. “It’s not like he’s Kuu.”
“What you really want to say is that it’s not like he’s Tsuruga-kun.” Chiori smiled.
*~*~*
Halfway through lunch, Kyoko gave in. There were only so many ways that they could circle the conversation back to if Kuon was Kuu’s son, and Kanae and Chiori had already gone through them all twice. She put down her chopsticks and walked over to where the two actors were sitting. She bowed. “Excuse me, Hizuri-san?” She spoke in English since it’d be considered rude not to in front of the other one.
Kuon dropped his chopsticks and turned to look at her. He seemed flustered, but that couldn’t be the case. “Hizuri-san?”
He shook his head. “Kuon, you can just call me Kuon.”
She nodded once. “Kuon-san--”
“No, really, just call me Kuon.”
Her eyes narrowed for a split second. Why was he trying to be this familiar with her on set? “I could never, Kuon-san. If you don’t mind, my colleagues and I have an impertinent question for you.”
The one named Taylor chuckled. “This could be interesting.”
Kuon looked over at his co-star before turning back to Kyoko. “What is it?”
“They… well, we… wanted to know if you are related to Kuu?”
He nodded. “He’s my father.”
Kyoko paused for a brief moment. She should react. She gave him a wide smile. “That is amazing, to be related to such a famous actor and one who is Japanese. No wonder you speak Japanese so well.” She definitely didn’t want to bring up Kuon’s life growing up as his parents’ child since there were all sorts of issues involved with that, even though his parents were both the most loving parents that she’d ever met.
Not that she knew about loving parents.
She bowed and excused herself. Her glower came back as soon as she turned around.
“Is he not?!” Chiori was looking at her curiously.
“Oh, no, he really is. I was just thinking about some things.” She stopped and looked over at the clock. If they finished now, she could call Director Shingai and find out what was happening with her drama before she had to be at her next job.
“Argh. Are they going to keep us here all day for no reason? I have a commercial to shoot.” Kanae growled.
“And I have a read through for the next drama I’m working on this afternoon. I wanted to go through it one more time.”
Kyoko was glad for the change in conversation. “You’re the lead actress this time, aren’t you?”
Chiori nodded. “Well, mostly. It’s not a single lead drama at all, since it’s about a group of college friends.”
Kyoko nodded.
Kanae leaned over. “Kyoko. I’ve been trying to ask, and I’ve been failing, but what’s going on with you and Tsuruga-kun? You’ve been changing the topic whenever one of us brings him up, like earlier.”
Kyoko looked up from her half-eaten bento. “A stealth attack! That’s so mean!”
“This time it’s deflection.” Chiori supplied helpfully.
“I noticed.”
She sighed. At least right now they only had a few minutes so they couldn’t really get too much information out of her.
“We are sort of… well…” She tried to figure out how to phrase it. She sighed. “We’re taking a break.”
The two girls just looked at her. “You broke up?”
Kyoko shook her head. “We got into a fight about… well, about a lot of things a couple of months ago and well, we decided to just take a break.” Not that it was working out. They kept finding reasons to see each other.
“Is it about that role that he took overseas?”
That was definitely one of the things that they fought about. Kyoko just nodded and frowned. They’d also fought about whether they should take their relationship public. Actually, that had been the first thing. This movie job had wormed its way into the argument as well. And then it had turned into a fight about all the little things which annoyed each other. From the way actresses kept falling in love with him on all his jobs, to how oblivious she was to all the male attention she was getting both from co-stars and fans. She still didn’t know what he was talking about. Her frown deepened and her brows knitted.
“Kyoooooooo-ko-chan…”
She looked up and smiled. “Moko-san!”
“She completely forgot we were here.” Chiori sounded relieved.
Kyoko tilted her head to the side. “I didn’t. I was just lost in thought. Can we not talk about Ren anymore?”
The two girls nodded at her.
*~*~*
Kuon sighed and unlocked his apartment door. It was late. He was a little drunk. And he still needed to pack. He had to check into his hotel tomorrow afternoon, since it just wouldn’t do for him to be going in and out of his apartment when he was supposed to be out of the country.
He tossed his hat onto a nearby table and rubbed the bridge of his nose. He shouldn’t have gone out with the cast, but they’d insisted since he missed the impromptu cast party the night before. He leaned back against the door and started taking off his shoes. It was then that he saw it. Kyoko’s bag.
He practically tripped over the shoes he barely managed to get off as he sort of stumbled to the bedroom. She had to be there.
He slowly opened the bedroom door. She was curled up on the bed with her face hidden in a pillow. It looked like she was sleeping. He walked over to the bed and sat down near her. “Kyoko?”
The pillow shifted and one of her honey colored eyes became visible. It was a bit red and puffy. She’d been crying.
“Did you lose the drama job?” He’d caught the jist of what was going on from the snatches of conversation he’d heard from the girls over the course of the day.
She shook her head and sat up, but she didn’t turn to look at him. “I didn’t mean to be here when you got back. I forgot a commercial script that I needed for tomorrow from that time a couple of weeks ago.”
He nodded. Technically they were on a break. No phone calls. They weren’t casually speaking or seeing each other outside of this apartment. They weren’t supposed to be seeing each other at all, but…
He leaned in to wrap his arms around her and hold her close but she stood up. “I really shouldn’t have stayed. It’s worse seeing you like this.”
He sighed, frustrated. He raked his fingers through his hair. “Kyoko. I want to stop this.”
“I know, but we agreed. After you are done filming this movie, we’d start up again. We needed a break from each other.”
“That hasn’t worked out, has it?” It really hadn’t. They’d still seen each other at least once a week when he was in Japan, even if most of the time they were preoccupied with things that weren’t talking.
She lifted one slender shoulder in a shrug. “But we really haven’t talked much.”
“And it’s driving me insane. Do you know that I’ve had Yashiro keep tabs on you for the last two and a half months?”
She nodded. “It’s very obvious. ‘Kyoko-chaaaan! We haven’t talked in daaaays! How’s your drama shoot going? Is the male lead still making advances daily?’ It’s only after he gets the answer to a question or two like that that he actually starts conversing with me like a regular person. Can you please stop putting him up to that?”
Kuon rubbed the back of his neck “I haven’t asked him to ask about your male co-stars in over a month.”
She hummed and turned to look at him. “There is one positive about this.”
He shook his head. There were none. None.
She nodded. “Maybe not for you, but for me. I’ve had to face every acting challenge on my own. I decided that if I couldn’t ask you, I wouldn’t even ask Moko-san either. I’m a better actress for it.” She scrunched up her face and glowered. “And that’s a good thing.”
“The interview the other night?”
She nodded. “Kijima-san was… being Kijima-san at a party the other night, and I was questioned about if we were seeing each other again.”
“Won’t he ever give up?”
Kyoko shook her head. “He gives up every time he starts seeing someone, but he did just break up with his girlfriend and then he realised that we weren’t speaking…” She sighed. “I should go. I was just upset because this drama shoot is all kinds of messed up now, and I’m stuck acting a bit part in your stupid movie and…” She huffed. “I was this close. This close to actually being able to stand just a step or two behind you, instead of down twenty flights of stairs.”
“Is that why you’ve been working so hard since we put things on pause?”
She turned to look at him. “Three months isn’t a long time, but yes, I tried to book in as much as I could. I even did a spin on the variety show circuit, as a guest this time. I thought…” She sighed again. “I thought that if I could increase my name recognition even a little, then I wouldn’t seem like such a mismatch with you and... Then Director Shingai asked if I wanted the part in his new drama and everyone is talking about it. I think I’ve been asked more about that than the one that’s about to start airing. It could be huge for my career.”
“And then,” Kuon made a sound like an explosion.
“Yes. The return of the awful pink overalls and my drama shooting schedule shot to hell.”
Kuon sighed. It really wasn’t like the president to blow up a project like this. And the president liked Shingai and Kyoko. He shook his head. “Stay and I’ll make tea.”
Kyoko smiled. “Now there’s all the more reason not to. You need to pack and then sleep off the whisky. You may be doing a good job of not acting drunk, but your eyes lie. They’re glazed.”
He collapsed face down into a pillow and she dumped another on top of his head.
“It was hard to sit up for that long, wasn’t it?” Her voice sounded like she wanted to laugh.
He nodded. “The room may have been spinning a little, but I was worried.”
She leaned down and kissed his neck where it was exposed. “Well, thank you. I needed to get some of that off my chest. I really should go, though.”
He grabbed her wrist. “You know I’m sorry.”
“About the fight?”
He nodded.
“Didn’t we apologize months ago?”
“Yes, but my apology didn’t net the outcome that I wanted, so I thought I’d try again.”
Kyoko hummed in thought. “I think… it was impossible to go back to how things were. And it was impossible to move forward with where things were.” She moved the pillow aside and stroked his hair. “So really, regardless of what outcome either of us wanted, I think that this one was acceptable.”
He rolled over and looked up at her. “Only with adjustments.”
She smiled down at him. “Well, yes, now that I think about it, absolutely zero contact does seem rather harsh.”
“Harsh? I thought I would die that first week.”
“You over-exaggerate.”
“I can act a wonderful death scene, thank you.”
She smiled the smile he’d missed so much and leaned in to kiss him. He slid his fingers into her hair before she could pull away and deepened the kiss. Just give him this one moment. With Kyoko.
She sighed into the kiss and parted her lips for him. He didn’t hesitate, pushing his tongue past her lips and into her mouth. He teased and coaxed and felt Kyoko relax a little more. He sucked on her bottom lip, tugging lightly with his teeth before breaking the kiss to look into her eyes.
If he asked now, he knew she’d agree to stay. He was opening his mouth to do just that when he heard her cell go off. She turned her face away, and he sighed. She quickly moved to grab it off the side table where she must have laid it down.
“Hello?”
“Shingai-san!... Ah, yes.” She sighed. “Really?” The conversation was not going well. “I see... You did? The president?... If you think it’ll help, of course…. No, I don’t think so… I haven’t heard anything, the director seems rather… Ah, yes, he doesn’t care about inconveniencing the extras, since that’s what we are… I’m sure he does, but the only one who can understand the president’s plots is himself… All right.... Yes, of course, I’ll be there. Bye.”
“Good news or bad?”
“A mixed bag.” She stood back up. “I really have to go now, though.” She pressed her lips to his forehead. “I guess I’ll see you at the shoot, though.”
“Yeah.”
He watched her walk out of the bedroom and then out of the apartment.
He should have said that he loved her. But that was against the rules too. God damn it.