Chapter Text
David did not know how the hell did he manage to drive home. Muscle memory or not, shock made him completely black out, mind coming to some resemblance of clearity only when his wife's voice broke through static in his ears.
Before he could register exact words coming out of Yuna's mouth, he heard his own, on its own volition.
"I fucked up, Yuna, I left"
Oh, it was really bad, he rarely let his voice shake, not to mention several breaks in one simple sentence. Before he could stop the flood of words, he told her everything. He knew he shouldn't tell her his son's secrets, but panicked and overwhelmed mind did not want to be rationed with.
But he could not stop. Because he just caused his son to live through probably most hurtful thing he lived through himself so many years ago.
Well, that was not correct. He would never let Shane experience what he had with his own father, but being found out like that, being left to his own thoughts and forced to come home not k owing what would wait for him there?
"Okay, you need to stop" her words were sharp. She was in planing mode, already gathering her resources for conversation with their son.
"I really know you have every right to panic right now, but in 20 minutes our son will be here, scared out of his mind, with no-good man"
He gave her a look.
"You dont know that Yuna, he could suprise us." Yuna looked at him back and continued as if he never spoke.
"So I will give you 5 minutes to compose yourself and then you will go to the kitchen and make some pasta"
How he loved his wife. What to somebody would be harsh and uncaring words, to him they were clear instructions on how to proceed. Her assessment was correct, he would need to crash down later, but for now they had their very troubled boy to take care of.
Or rather two boys.
He would need to account for the fact that Rozanov will be here. So probably another pasta package, then. And more chicken, he knew how athletes were about protein.
Yuna found him by the sink few minutes later filling kettle with water.
"I know you feel awfull, but don't torment yourself. You know that situation is not your fault, you don't like calling what happened with your father like that, but this was classic trauma response love" her voice was gentle, her hand on his shoulder.
He was so used to being stable one in household, being emotional guide and harbour. But sometimes it was nice to let someone to take care of him too.
In few minutes his son would come here, with a man he supposedly hated, after being found out about by his father in very compromising situation.
In few minutes he would need to play mediator between love of his life and his son, again taking on a role of attuned with his and everyone elses feelings one, because he knew that both of them tended to act out on their first thought rather than process them first or overanalise them and spiral uncontrollably.
In few minutes he would meet famed Russian Menace, against whom his son and wife spent countless hours strategising, over family dinners and movie nights.
But now, in his kitchen he was held by his wife as he fought his demons from over 30 years ago. But he knew he would be okay. He just needed to make sure his son knew he was okay too.
~~~
"So, do you want to talk about it?" Ilya's voice cut silence left behind Yuna and Shane.
He knew his son needed to talk with Yuna alone, other way they would never tell everything they need too. His job on that front was done.
He was, however, left with Ilya Rozanov.
"I beg your pardon?" David raised his brow, not knowing what man ment by that question. "I should be asking you that, by all means you have went through quite a day."
"Look, Mr Hollande-"
"David is fine, Ilya." David noticed how some of the tention left blonde's shoulder, not all the way but some progress was made.
"Look David, I know you just met me, and I you, but I learned to see 'post panic Hollander' signs." Ilya shifted in his seat, eyes still locked on pasta plate in front of him "And I know sometimes it is easier to talk about this things with stranger."
David stopped breathing for a second. He thought about his options. To spill his guts to his son's ex-enemy-now-boyfriend, or to retreat and spend rest of the evening carefully avoiding topics and tiptoeing around Ilya, risking escalation with Shane and Yuna there to start freaking out alongside him.
But this boy has been forced to open up to him and his wife. He could grant him some informations about his situation in return. What could cement his stance as an ally to this whole affair more than trauma sharing from his own stories.
"I need to start this by saying I fucked up majorly with you." That earned a raised eyebrow from Ilya. What, he was an hockey player, he knew his swearwords. "I handled situation wrong. I definitely should not have left without talking with you both, making sure you know that you were safe with me finding out"
He spoke with calmness learnt by decades of being rock for his firestorm of a wife and unstoppable, awkward to the bones, force of a son.
"Deffinitely should have talked to you before telling Yuna. I wouldn't be able to lie to her for a long run, but at least I could have eased your way to come out on your own."
Ilya looked like somebody replaced David's head with an alien. This probably was not an answer he expected. He did not say anything yet, so older man took this as a sign to continue.
"So yes, I am sorry for that whole ordeal. I will be honest, I hoped you did not notice me. I know, I know, dumb of me, but seeing you both there brought out some of mine experiences, not too good ones to be honest."
Ilya visibly tensed, question visible in his eyes
"Experiences, as being..." he hesitated, not knowing if throwing his speculations would be correctly interpreted and not taken as an accusation or worse.
"Cought in intimate situation with a man, yes. Before you ask, it was long time ago. Before I met Yuna, but she knows. About me, being bisexual, that is"
Younger man smiled at that, his trademark smirk on his lips, though now with layer of some shy gentleness.
"Ah, good! I was worried me being with women before would be problem for you, to see how I can love Shane anyway, but didn't need to, I see."
David laughed at that. " Well, you have a reputation, I can't say I was not surprised to see you with my son, but as long as Shane is loved and safe with you, who am I to shame anyone. You didn't go to college and university, but I for sure did, and used the time the best I could".
His eyes for sure now got this far away look Yuna liked to tease him about, he knew that. They always did when he reminisced about his college days, all the people he sourounded himself with, all adventures good and bad.
Before Yuna, his hockey career was intertwined with longing looks and stolen nights with certain hockey player. He was sentimental, sue him, but he would not be lying if he said that even though he still had nightmares about it, it was one of the most important stages in his life.
"What happened?" Ilyas voice was small, smaller than he has thought was possible. He looked at man's face, curiosity mixing with worry.
David thought to himself that he probably didn't have a lot of possibilities to discuss queer experiences with many people before. Russia and all. Hell, hockey and all. And was his story a happy one? Definitely not, at least not for his relationship with many people he knew back then. Right now, he was the man who had everything he could ever dream of. Loving home with a wife he would die and kill for, son who could not made him prouder, but he had lived throug his share of heartbreak.
"I had a friend, you know."
"A friend?"
"A... special friend, if you could say that. But it was late 80's, we were both in hockey team for Gills. I was playing left wing, he was my line's centre. Quick as a wind, smart pain in the ass. If he did not play for my team I would have despised playing against him. We all knew he would go pro. Nobody with this skills could stay on college level and be satisfied."
Brandon was exeptional. Love for the game on and off ice. Before he met Yuna and then had Shane, he thought that his friends level of dedication was high end. But oh, how wrong he was. His family obsession would put that dedication to the ground.
"I am not going to bore you with all of our story, but we were together, even though neither of us had the bravery to make it official. We loved each other, in the best way we could back then without actually saying it." He took a moment to compose himself.
He looked out of the window and he could see Yuna embracing Shane, sight giving him sense of calmness that allowed him to continue without letting his voice shake.
Glancing at Ilya he could see how hooked other man was on the story. Strange how newly met boy was beeing let into his most private thoughts, and even stranger how natural that felt.
" We met at the orientation camp, me as a captain of team greeting new teammates. We got along like a house on fire. His fierceness completed by my cold calculation made us work quite well. And you know yourself how this things go."
"I believe I do." blonde said with fond look in his eyes. David could deduce for who that looked was reserved "So you both were into that. What wrong?" Russian accent slipped harder now that his focus went fully into David's tale.
Older man took deep breath, steeling himself for the hardest part.
"We were at some forest by the lake for summer break. Me, him, some of our friends from team. Camp, of some sorts, with tents, hammocks, fireplaces and being obnoxiously loud in the middle of nowwhere. We were really carefully about us. Nobody knew, at least I think so. Maybe my closest buddy, my alternate, suspected something, but if he did, he never raised any questions to me. The point is, we wanted to spend some time alone. Everybody left after a week, we were supposed to stay another day to clean up and gather our things. A day turned into another one, neither of us wanting to leave."
Ilya had this look in his eyes that told him that this was something g he experienced too. God, the softness of that look told them that even if now they were relatively strangers, his son brought home the one that would stay for a long time.
"My father knew the spot we were staying in. After I took to long to come back home he decided I needed to be reminded that house and family were waiting for me. I had responsibilities as the eldest of my siblings, sometimes he liked to invade my space just to remind me I was given just as much freedom as he allowed me. Either way, he showed up. Me and Bran were in water in nearby lake, or in a car, or just being in each other's orbit, I do not know to this day what he saw."
He tried to make his tone stay even. To keep his breath controlled. He got it right, mostly. And for the moments he did not manage, Ilya did not mention it, knowing to let some things stay unspoken about.
"But he had seen enough."
It was horrifying, coming home after that. He didn't tell Ilya that he had seen his father's car disappearing behind the trees, how he was hoping that distinct shade of teal of his family car was just coincidental, just somebody passing by, for sure his nightmare would not come to life. He lied to himself all the way back home, not once mentioning his fears to Brandon.
"To keep it short, I came home, found my things in front of the door and my father told me to end things with Bran unless I wanted to information about hockey fag to get into ears of wrong people. I don't know if he could follow with that promise, I did not want to test him."
Ilya had tears in his eyes. And that was okay. His were wet too.
He heard sharp breath by the door. Shane stood there. He must have came in some time ago, enough to grasp context of what his dad was talking about. Yuna gave him soft smile, eyes filled with love and support. And slight bloodlust. Of course she has heard this story from him, held him through enough emotional conversations, knew the reason why his family was not invited to their wedding. It still brought out more protective side of her every time her husband became affected by the events from over 30 years ago.
"Shane" he addressed his son directly "you know how I never speak about your grandparents. Or how you only know my siblings and your cousins through photos and Christmas cards. This is the reason. My failing is that I made you feel as if I was danger to you. I need you to know that you are okay. You are loved. And everything will be alright."
His son leaned on a wall, tears in his eyes as he processed everything that has happened for the last hours.
Ilya got up, came to his side and threw arm around his waist in support.
"I am bonding with your dad, isn't it amazing?" He said defusing the atmosphere. It was amazing how quickly he could put on nonchalant facade, if David did not see tears that he quickly wiped with a table napkin he probably could be fooled that they just finished talking about weather and gardening, or last New Yorker issue.
"Yes, it is pretty awesome" his son looked him in the eyes, rare occasion to fully see warm brown things that he got from Yuna. There were tears he tried so hard not to allow to fall freely "I see that".
The boy he spent countless hours with teaching him how to scate, driving to practices and games. Who had his mother's determination, but his father's steady hands and loyalty. And now he realised his family had his back no matter what.
Of course it hurt that he even for a moment thought he would be hurt by them, no accepted, as if his brave, perfectionist to the point of being worrisome, determined son could do a thing for them to be disappointed.
But David knew they would be okay. His boy had someone in his corner. Who understood what the stakes were, and who would risk it anyway. There would be hardships, and highs and lows, and nothing would be easy with them. But who would want easy when you could have love instead?
~~~
Few years later after certain video leak, Ilya stood in his kitchen, exhausted emotionally, but comforted by knowledge that his coach was on his side.
And then he remembered a conversation he had with his favourite puzzle partner and future father in law during first lunch they ever had.
Bran, huh?
Who would have thought.