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See With Clearer Eyes

Summary:

The path was a familiar one, worn from years—decades at this point—of feet. So many days, Rumi had come along this path but this was the first Mother's Day without Celine alongside her. The first of their picnic tradition without her.

Her daughter stood in front of a trio of grave markers, the names as well known to Rumi as her own. Even Celine's third had come home, eventually.

Notes:

For the moms we miss, and the ones you may have wished you had.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

It was a beautiful, sunny spring day. Blue sky and wispy clouds, a breeze rustling through the trees.

Perfect for a Mother's Day picnic.

Rumi watched as Mira sat on a blanket, one leg curled up under her and the other stretched out, the huge sacred tree risingf up on the hill above them. Mira was smiling and Rumi followed her sight line. Zoey was sparring with their oldest, the girl quick and nimble like her, war fans glittering in the sun as she deflected one of Zoey's shinkal before darting forward and landing a kick on her stomach.

The peanut gallery—consisting of their ten year old son and his befreckled twin sister—cheered as Zoey backflipped and landed in a crouch. She dispersed her weapons back into the Honmoon and Ha-eun did the same.

Then Zoey burst into a huge grin and enveloped Ha-eun in a hug, spinning her around before setting her down.

"Good work!" Mira called out, trailing her fingers along the spiky pink and black cane laying next to her, "But we're here for a picnic, not to kick your mom's ass!"

"It was very good," Rumi said encouragingly when they got closer. "But sit down and eat."

They sat like they usually did, in a rough circle, though there were spaces missing. Rumi's eyes lingered on one, before she buried her feelings and returned her attention to her family, "You know, most families do sports."

"Sparring is a sport," all five of them answered at once. Rumi laughed.

"Eomma?" Ha-eun grabbed a sandwich and one of the muffins Rumi had baked, "Do you think we'll find them this week?"

Rumi's smile softened, "Nervous about the auditions?"

"Duh?" She fidgeted with the crust, her patterns shimmering, "What if they don't like me?"

"They'll love you," Mira said. "It might be a bit awkward at first, but…it's hard to explain."

God knew they'd all tried. Rumi shook her head, "You'll know them when you see them and something new-but-old will fit into place inside you. But don't worry if we don't find them this week. Or the next time. You will."

"How did you find each other?" Ji-min asked, looking between his mothers.

Ha-eun knew the story, but they hadn't shared it with the twins just yet. Rumi looked at her wives, "Ladies?"

"I'd run away from home," Mira said, ever honest about that. "I kept feeling this… tug. Like a string in my chest made of warmth. It led me here, to Jeju Island, to the road leading up to this tree. I heard Rumi singing and followed that."

"She joined in," Rumi continued. "A song neither of us had ever heard before. I brought her home to your Halmeoni and the look on her face was priceless."

Zoey giggled, "I got a personal invitation to an audition. I felt that same kind of pull and found the two of them upstairs, looking out the window. We all started singing, like something out of a musical. It was beautiful."

"Music just kind of rises up inside you," Rumi said. "Your Halmeoni said it was similar when she first met her girls. So I mean it when I tell you, you'll know them immediately."

"What if they're hot?" Ha-eun's throat bobbed, and Hae-Jin reached over and hugged her.

Zoey covered her mouth to hide a grin as Mira rubbed her face and replied, "Just don't pine for eight years the way I did."

"I'll try not to be that pathetic," Ha-eun said, rolling her eyes in a perfect reflection of Mira and Rumi had to hide her own grin.

"Ouch," Mira said, hand to her chest. She set her sandwich down on the plate in her lap, "You'll have to figure out whatever dynamic you'll have. It won't be instant and it won't be easy, but you'll find it together. We'll help as best we can, help you avoid our mistakes."

Rumi watched the way the patterns on her children glittered. Different shapes, different paths, less obvious than her own, but ever present. She'd never let them hide. Any of them, "You'll make your own, I won't hide that from you any more than I'll hide our patterns."

"But that's part of life and growing up," Zoey added. "Even after we pass the torch to your generation, you'll still have us and your brother and sister in your corner."

"Your biggest fans!" Hae-Jin cheered.

Ha-eun smiled, though her eyes lifted to the tree up the hill. She got to her feet, walking away from the little picnic and up the hill. Rumi watched her go, then glanced at Mira and Zoey before she stood and followed after her.

The path was a familiar one, worn from years—decades at this point—of feet. So many days, Rumi had come along this path but this was the first Mother's Day without Celine alongside her. The first of their picnic tradition without her.

Ha-eun stood in front of a trio of grave markers, the names as well known to Rumi as her own. Even Celine's third had come home, eventually.

She wrapped an arm around her daughter's shoulders—when had she gotten so tall and why was that Mira's fault?—and squeezed her, "Celine was definitely your biggest fan."

"Yeah…" Ha-eun wiped at her eyes with a couple of fingers, "I keep expecting a text from her, you know? She was always checking on me."

"I know," Rumi's voice wavered. She stared down at the names, her emotions rising to the surface, "I know, sweetheart. She loved you so much."

It had been so surreal, seeing Celine with Ha-eun and then the twins. Accepting their patterns, not admonishing them for their flaws, comforting them through their fears. All the things she'd always wanted for herself on display with her children.

It was too soon, she felt so raw when she thought about it all. All the things she'd never said. All the things she'd made sure to say, especially near the end. Celine had lived longer than most Hunters, and for Rumi there would never have been enough time.

It was the nature of children to have to bury their parents and mentors and for Hunters this was doubly so. There was already a spot nearby, for Rumi and her wives, but she couldn't bring herself to look in that direction.

As if tuned into her thoughts, Ha-eun turned into her, arms wrapping around Rumi as Rumi hugged her tight.

She could hear the familiar footsteps; Zoey's light, energetic feet, the slower movement of Mira's and the rapping of her cane, just before Mira's arms encircled them both from one side, Zoey on the other, Hae-Jin and Ji-Min between them.

"I miss her too," Mira whispered, stroking Hae-Jin's hair.

"They're all together finally," Zoey said, leaning her chin on Ji-Min's head and reaching to squeeze Ha-eun's hand.

Rumi glanced back at the markers, mouthing 'I love you, Eomma', before she hugged Ha-eun again, "Lets clean up our mess and return to the house."

They'd honored the dead and the rest of the day was for the living.

Notes:

Could be read as a companion piece to "The Moments Between" chapter 35.

Title was taken from a poem I found, though I haven't found who wrote it.

I Didn’t Say It Enough

I didn’t say it near enough,
How much your love meant to me.
Your kindness, strong yet soft and true,
Gave me the strength to be.
Now older, I see with clearer eyes—
Your heart, your grace, your gentle touch.
Forgive me for the times I missed
To say, "I love you so much."