Chapter Text
Another nightmare brought Pomni up and out of her sleep. She felt her body, limb by limb, making sure everything was still in its place. Staring into the mirror across from her bed, she confirmed herself abstraction-free. This body was unfamiliar, but it was all she had to ground herself.
She let herself fall back against the understuffed pillow, praying she had more time to rest before Caine forced her along another adventure. She was beginning to loathe the sound of his voice. All the sleep in the world couldn’t relieve her of this pounding anxiety. As she struggled to get comfortable in her stiff bed, she considered an alternative.
Pomni sat up, slipping the pillow out from under her head and placing it in front of her. She blinked at it, doubting it had enough stuffing to give anything back. Still, her options were limited, and this was most convenient. With a soft sigh, she slid the pillow between her legs, and laid down on her side.
She started slowly, letting herself get used to the feel. The space between her legs was empty, and even after a few rubs, unfortunately lacking in any nerve endings. She knew as well, but the motion was familiar enough to provide some comfort. Self-pleasure was one of her easiest go-to’s to release tension. Out of all the things the circus stole from her, she was embarrassed to admit it was one of the most frustrating. If she could at least just masturbate the stress away, maybe she wouldn’t feel an oncoming panic attack every time she woke up.
Pomni idly humped the pillow, trying her best to remember how it truly felt. The movement was putting her at ease. Just for a few seconds.
“Hiya, Pomni!” Caine’s voice boomed, his intrusion unannounced.
Pomni yelped, clutching the pillow and scampering up against the wall. “Caine! Can’t you knock or something?”
“I could.”
Pomni blinked hard at him, clutching the pillow over herself as if she were actually hiding anything beneath it. “Uh, then could you please knock next time? I’d like to have a little privacy.”
“You’ve got plenty of privacy, Pomni!” Caine floated toward her bed, rapidly swishing the long curtain hanging off the rod. “Besides, there’s no need to keep secrets. I’ve got eyes everywhere!”
Pomni winced at the idea of being known by the entity lingering in front of her bed. His enthusiasm didn’t entice her to reveal any secrets, it only turned her off. Still, if he was all-knowing and all-seeing as he said, perhaps he already knew more than she’d like.
“I’d just like some alone time.”
“Alone time? What could you possibly need alone time for, when there’s so many great adventures to be had? I assure you, Pomni, once we get started, you’ll be glad you decided to stop sleeping in!”
She rolled her eyes, shifting the pillow around. “Wasn’t sleeping, but…”
Her muttering was apparently too quiet for Caine. He rushed in towards her, uncomfortably close as he tilted his head with a clueless look, “Wasn’t what?”
He seemed genuinely oblivious. Pomni clutched the pillow tighter. If she had the parts she longed for, she’d have been suppressing a leak. Even without the sensation of arousal, she felt an unusual excitement. The thrill of getting caught was always a dangerous temptation. Despite her contempt for Caine and his erratic behavior, she entertained his curiosity. “You didn’t walk in on me sleeping.”
“Oh.” Caine blinked at her several times before he made the connection. His wide, wet eyes flickered to the pillow between her thighs, then back at her eyes. “Oh.”
Pomni didn’t expect him to understand so easily. His constant absentmindedness had proven many times he didn’t listen too closely. Perhaps it was the nature of it that caught his attention. She was doing something she wasn’t supposed to be doing.
Caine abruptly floated back, speaking quicker than Pomni could catch, “Okay, then, I’m just gonna check on the others and uhh–”
“Wait.” Pomni grabbed Caine’s arm, tugging him towards her. “Do you think you could help me?”
His eyes bugged out. Pomni knew she was pushing a limit. But what better way to do that than to simply ask?
Caine, flustered, had trouble getting his words out straight. He wouldn’t fully face her. “Help you? With, uh, what, exactly?”
“With…y’know. That.”
“With what?” His voice was flat, but slightly nervous, urging her to confess her sins directly.
Pomni sighed. He had no intention to make this easy for her, but she wasn’t going to back down. “I want to be able to m
Predictably, Caine’s body flung out in shock, “Pomni! You can’t say things like that.”
She kneeled, throwing the pillow aside. “I want to m
“Enough of this foul language!”
“--If I can just feel it. Like, really feel it, I’ll be satisfied. Please, Caine.”
“I can’t believe this!” Caine folded his arms, floating up to look down on her. “I didn’t take you for such a pervert, Pomni. I’m disappointed.”
She wouldn’t admit his disapproval excited her. Not yet. “It’s not perverted, it’s normal. Healthy, even. I’d bet everyone in the circus has done it before.”
Caine scoffed, turning away. “I certainly haven’t.”
“Well, maybe you should.”
She sat quietly, watching his expression turn from defensiveness to disgust. It was far more entertaining than any adventure he had forced her through. She fought back a smile, maintaining her role in this instigation.
“Excuse me? I—you little—I can’t believe this—you’re a—“
“Human, Caine, I’m human! And humans have…urges. You let us eat, you let us sleep, and we don’t really need to. You let us so we’ll feel normal, right? So how’s m
“Shut up! Okay? Just shut up. I will not be entertaining this ridiculous conversation. There will be none of that, end of story!”
Caine turned his back to her, floating away at a snail’s pace. She cocked her head, waiting for him to disappear. His folded arms, sinking head, and dramatic exit suggested he wanted her to interrupt.
All she spoke was a soft, tempting, “Caine.”
He spun around. “Okay, fine.”
She hadn’t expected him to submit so easily. “What?”
Caine floated up to her, gaze stuck to the ceiling as he rolled his hand around, “I’ll give you the ability to do…that.”
Pomni perked up, squeezing her bedsheets between her fingers, “Wait, really?”
He met her eyes, chest puffing out to assert his authority. “Yes, really.” His massive eyeballs lingered on her, flicking down to observe her body. “But only just this once.”
Pomni, enthralled, nodded her head. “Of course! No problem. That sounds awesome.”
She wanted more. She really wanted more. Noticing his big eyes ogle her over only provoked that desire. But asking Caine to agree at all was a shot in the dark, and she was desperate enough to take this opportunity as a win.
Caine pulled back, “So I’ll just turn around here…” and positioned himself away from her, snapping his fingers, “...and you tell me when you can feel it.”
A flood of something drove into her crotch. She had no blood, and she had no genitals to play with. But she felt it. She was horny. And she couldn’t help but whimper at that wonderful, familiar feeling. She rubbed one of her big, gloved hands over herself, noticing how that touch affected her. She kept at it, stroking herself like she would before.
“Pomni?”
She whimpered, Caine’s voice eliciting a spark she didn’t expect. Sliding her hand away and back onto the bed, she responded, “Yeah, I can feel it.”
Caine nodded. Pomni noticed he hadn’t swirled his eyes around to take a look. Respectful, as she would hope, yet she wanted to invite him.
“Good,” He held his cane firmly between his legs, “Then I’ll give you some privacy and be on my–”
“Wait.”
“--way. What?”
Caine turned just slightly. Pomni leaned back, her legs folded over the side of the bed, spread. “Would you want to stay?”
He turned just a bit more. “Stay?”
Pomni’s fingers played with the sheets of her bed, boldly suggesting, “Yeah. To, y’know, watch me?”
A bit more. “Watch you…?” Caine’s irises were visible now, but his pupils stared straight ahead of him.
Pomni pulled back, maintaining her cool, “It’s totally cool if you don’t. But if you do…”
Caine’s body was stiff, but his head turned around enough to face her head-on. “You want me to watch you…pleasure yourself?”
Her eyes flicked side to side, as if there was some other party present that she missed. “Yes.”
Caine threw himself toward her. “But this is all wrong. I shouldn’t even be giving you this ability, let alone watching you.”
Her legs spread slowly, opening herself up for him.
“It’s perverse! I can’t just stay here and watch you…” Caine’s erratic pacing soon led him to lock eyes with Pomni’s thighs, observing her suggestive position,”...rub yourself into that pillow.”
She deepened her voice, “Why not?”
Caine froze, his chest thumping in and out. A weak I-I-I stuttered out of him.
“You’re in charge here, aren’t you?” Pomni tested him, sitting up on her knees. “You don’t have to abide by anything. You can let me m
“I…” Caine’s fingers wiggled beside him. Pomni noticed them, and imagined them curling around her waist. “That’s a very fair point, Pomni.”
She perked up, anxious.
Caine reached toward her, tapping her left shoulder with one hand, and hesitating over her right thigh with the other. His wide eyes inspected her. “I really should observe you until you’re uhh–finished. Just to understand this whole…thing.”
He still wouldn’t call it what it was. Pomni wasn’t sure if it was because he genuinely couldn’t, or because he was ashamed. His unconventional approach captivated her arousal. She held herself back, shifting herself on the bed to face the end of it. Caine followed. She dragged the pillow back, placing it between them. Caine’s eyes tracked her body, watching her as she slid herself on top of the plush pillow and straddled it.
“Can I use you to steady myself?”
Caine was in a world of his own, staring incessantly at her groin. Despite its plain appearance, he knew that’s where she was feeling excitement.
To be watched with such passion, even with nothing there, was quite flattering. She leaned into him, “Caine?”
“What’s that?” He snapped back, blinking at her casually, despite his idle hand finally making contact with her thigh. He grabbed her hip and shoulder tight, keeping her in place.
“That works too,” she laughed, “but could I put my hands on you?”
“Oh.” Caine blinked, his eyes looking glossier. “Go right ahead!”
Pomni smiled softly, slipping her big hands around Caine’s waist. Given his flustered condition, it was hard to imagine him staying still for long. But she put faith in him, and began to idly rock her hips against the pillow.
She still struggled to find tension in its underfluffed state, which did not go unnoticed by Caine, painfully observant of her motions. His eyes wobbled, imagining the pillow thicker and fuller. Through his own will, it became the truth. Pomni sighed in surprise, excited by the swelling beneath her. She shut her eyes, pretending the swelling was Caine beneath her instead.
He was hypnotized by Pomni’s thrusts, her groin like a pendulum capturing his attention. He noticed the way her knees dug into the mattress, how her sheets were in disarray from a restless sleep. Zaps of electricity danced up his back as she dug her fingers into it, depending on him like a ship to an anchor.
It was a pleasant feeling, yet Caine still felt wrong. Pomni wasn’t the first to make this sort of request, but she was the first Caine had been willing to entertain. He wasn’t sure what it was about her that convinced him, or what made him so…weak. To break his own rules and enable such behavior felt shameful, like he was admitting to defeat. But Pomni wasn’t demanding to break the rules out of spite, nor to sneer at his planned adventures. She needed a recharge, and that he could understand.
Pomni rocked her hips against the pillow, feeling a warmth flood her thighs and belly. She would have been perfectly content to grind away on her own, but having Caine present gave her an extra thrill. Not only that, but the hazard of potentially being walked-in on; being the center of jealousy, disgust, outrage, or excitement. It wouldn’t matter which response she got, just to be caught was enough.
Perhaps it was too much to wish for. She was lucky enough Caine let her masturbate, and even more to have him watch her. Those big, wet blobs he called his eyes ogling her were plenty. She struggled to look at them, averting her own gaze toward the pillow as she spoke, “What do you think? Are you, um, understanding it now?”
Caine struggled to break his eyes away from her hips, but they flickered up to her face, staring into her shy pupils. “I think so,” he said, a flat tone that massively undercommunicated his excitement.
Pomni, struggling to gauge him, spoke quietly, “Do you want to feel it?”
Caine’s jaw quivered, pupils shrinking into nearly nothing. His fingers sparked off of her. He felt filthy. He could watch, yes, but to feel? To feel Pomni’s warm, rubbery body do that same motion to him? That would cross a line, a broken rule that could never be unbroken. Caine loved his humans, but how much love could he accept from them?
“Caine?” Pomni nudged, her thrusting coming to a halt. He appeared to be completely stalled, stuttering out that I-I-I sound he had earlier. She pushed aside the twinge of rejection she felt to focus on him, lowering herself and leaning in to try and catch his gaze. “Caine, you okay?”
Flashes of blue took over the whites of his eyes, chaotic beeps and whirs emanating from his body. The room itself produced a low rumble, as if it were threatening to collapse. Frightened by the state of him, she grabbed his lower jaw, shaking it side to side. “Caine? Caine! You’re okay. Can you feel me? I’m here, you can touch me too, just–”
Touch me. Caine obeyed. Rebooting instantly, his big hands snatched Pomni from behind, tugging her into his lap. She gasped, but her arms instinctively held him back. His previously limp jaw sprung to life, massive eyes blinking at her with big, pink hearts inside them. “Okay!”
Without a break, Caine began to thrust into Pomni. He couldn’t feel exactly what she was feeling; but he was ecstatic to learn it. Pomni was surprised, but not put off by his sudden fervor. She sunk her hands down his back, cupping his butt. She gave it a little squeeze, “Alright, then!”
Pomni tried to adjust to Caine’s rapid rhythm, finding it difficult to maintain arousal. She tapped his butt, wincing, “But you’ve gotta slow down, okay?”
“Slow down? But this is great! This feels incredible, Pomni!”
“I-I know, it does, b-but–oh!
Caine grabbed each end of her hat, its bells stopping his fists from sliding off, and yanked down. The force pushed Pomni closer than she thought possible, Caine’s erratic thrusting and vibrating proving too much to bear. The strong, bassy tones drummed into her groin, not dissimilar from the toys she used in her previous life. The difference between them and Caine was that Caine didn’t start at a 1, he started at Caine-pace.
Pomni whimpered uncontrollably, squeezing his ass and pleading, “Caine, seriously–if you keep–I’m gonna cuhh–”
The bass increased. His thrusts bounced her up and down his crotch. He was insatiable, eyes straining as he relished in this new-found pleasure. Hearing Pomni beg and quiver and moan as he pumped up the power was too delicious to find any sense. He couldn’t stop himself.
Pomni had no issue doing the work herself, but letting herself fall limp against Caine’s chest was nearly impossible to avoid. Her entire body trembled with vibrations, even her voice whirring as she moaned, “Cuh–c
She suddenly tensed up, wrapping Caine up in all her limbs, hugging him so close she felt they would shift into each other. Caine shuddered, a floating blush dominating the scope of his face as he soaked in this feeling. Pomni, filled with desperation, squeezing him as tight as she could. Love. This is what it felt like to be loved.
Desperate and starving for the sounds of her ecstasy, Caine squeezed Pomni back, discharging all that buzzing pleasure of his own directly from his crotch.
She howled out, thrusting herself hard into Caine’s crotch, eyes welling with tears of overstimulation. It was far, far too much, her orgasm erupting into an echo in her small room. Caine panicked, immediately aware of the potential for others to hear. He shoved her head into his shoulder, soaking up all of her delicious sounds inside him. They rumbled through him, continuing the chain of discharge from his crotch.
Pomni’s howls of pleasure quickly turned to pain as the merciless buzzing pummeled her crotch. Her hands and feet tingled. She smacked at Caine’s back, fighting the hand that held her down into his chest. She nudged herself out enough to beg, “Caine, it really hurts.”
Just as Pomni tapped out, the buzzing inside of Caine warped into an electric current, the shock proving too painful for him to bear, either. He would’ve withstood it, kept her glued to his current of love, if she’d asked.
But Caine had enough of his mind left to hear her, and released her at once. She fell to the bed, a cartoonish spiral of stars around her head and swirling eyes signifying her disorientation. His heart shattered at the thought that he’d loved her too hard, that he’d caused this pain. He attempted to scoop her up into his arms, but her jerking and whimpering led him to drop her again. He kept his hands to himself, but floated in close to her, alarmed, “Pomni! Are you alright?”
Eyes still rolling around, she managed to raise a shaky hand and deliver a thumbs-up.
“Oh thank goodness!” Caine exclaimed, thoughtlessly scooping her up again. Pomni cried out, her body going crooked at every joint. He dropped her one more time, the impact making her twitch just slightly. “Sorry. I keep forgetting about that.”
She finally found her words, though raspy and light, “S’Okay…it was worth it.”
“Really?” Caine perked up, clasping his hands together. “I thought I might have let myself get a little carried away there.”
He did, as he always did. The day Caine didn’t take anything too far, she’d be concerned. But she wouldn’t tell him that. “Not at all….not at all,” her voice lulled, body so relaxed she thought she might sink into her bed.
“So I didn’t hurt you at all?”
That was a question she could answer truthfully. “Yeah, but…good pain. That’s the…ha, really good pain.”
Caine blinked, puzzled by this statement. Pain and pleasure did not belong together. He thought for several moments, trying to work out the contradiction. He remembered the electric shocks he felt, and how it felt for her to squeeze him until she couldn’t anymore.
What did this mean for him? Was that love, too?
“Well, I will certainly keep that in mind! Anyway, I guess I’d better snap you out of this.”
“Wuh-wait–”
And with that, all feelings were gone. The numbness, the throbbing of Caine’s groin and hands still echoing on her body, the haze. Right back where she started. She rubbed her groin lazily, confirming its inability to feel a damn thing. She regretted answering him honestly.
Sitting up, she attempted to bargain with Caine once more. “Hey, do you think we could do this again?”
“Nope. One time only. Remember?”
No aftercare. Just a quick, sharp cleanup. Those big, warm, gooey eyes were no longer gleaming with hearts, nor was he eager to watch her. He turned his back to her, clamping his teeth a little tighter.
“But–come on, you said it yourself, it felt good! Don’t you wanna-”
“No, no, no, Pomni. You know the rules!”
“F
“Nope! I am not hearing this! Sorry, Pomni, I’ve got adventures to plan, goodbye!” Everything was slurred, refusing to let her get another word in before disappearing.
Pomni sat alone in her messy bed, somehow feeling worse than when she’d started. Caine’s abrupt disappearance would have been tolerable if he hadn’t taken her post-orgasm trance with him. After he revealed such fervor for her, she was bewildered by his hasty exit. Her mind raced with curiosity and anxiousness. Had she woken something up in him that he didn’t like?
Had she broken a rule that couldn’t be unbroken?