Chapter Text
Nagito Komaeda always came early to class. He always tried to be punctual, even when his misfortunes slowed him down. It also helped that he didn't get a lot of sleep as of late, so he was grateful he could spend his time doing something useful. He chose a seat in the back of the classroom and gently set his bag on the desk hook. He was running hotter than usual, and even though he didn't want to expose his arms, he tugged off his uniform jacket and draped it on the back of his chair.
Now, all he had to do was wait.
He always got to school at 7:30 in the morning, and while that didn't seem too early to be in an 8 o'clock class, nobody bothered to show up five minutes before the bell rang. He never worried about finding something to distract himself because he always had a book on hand or homework he neglected to finish. Getting to the classroom early helped him get into the academic mood and he would finish whatever tasks he set out to complete. He also appreciated the silence of the room. Unlike when he was at home, he found that the quiet atmosphere suited a school room. He could focus more on finishing his reading that way.
Today, he was reading Frankenstein. He picked up the book to degrade his poor English reading skills, but he ultimately found himself understanding the story far better than he imagined. The language barrier had no effect on his reading and he fully immersed himself in the story. He felt bad for the creature that Frankenstein created. How could a creator, who originally thought his creation to be beautiful, abandon his scientific masterpiece? In a way, he was a lot like the creature; created by the world only to be abandoned time and time again. No one seemed to relate to him, further pushing him away from the world. His only times of happiness were when an Ultimate so much as acknowledged him, and even then, he would still degrade himself for their approval.
Well, it was inevitable either way. He would die a horrible, painful death and nobody would care about him. He would have nobody by his side to at least try to revive him, even though it'd clearly be useless. He didn't want to accept it, but that was how his life would play out. It was destined to. Fate had no other plans for him.
His reading became momentarily interrupted when he heard a loud thud across the room. He almost instinctively threw his book at the noise but managed to hold back just in time. He scanned the area and saw his dearest classmate, Chiaki Nanami.
Even after discovering her presence, his body was still in panic mode. Like him, Chiaki would always come in early and wait for her peers to slowly pile into the room. He didn't understand why he was still on edge when she had been showing up at the same time as always. Maybe he wasn't ready to sincerely socialize with people just yet? He could speak to others just fine, but when he was alone with someone he respected, he couldn't force himself to speak. Yes, that was definitely it.
The girl mumbled a quiet “ow” before moving away from the desk she had hit her thigh against. She slowly made her way to her desk and stretched with a yawn. Her light pink hair was unbrushed and her uniform looked wrinkled.
‘She must've slept in it.’ Nagito thought but shook his head. He forced himself to get back to his reading, but his eyes kept settling on the girl. She rubbed her eyes to wake herself up, yet she still laid her head on the table, closing her eyes. Unlike him, she never did anything productive before class. She would always stare off into space or fall asleep at her desk until their classmates came into the classroom. He would've worried more for her if he didn't think his luck would affect her somehow. If he started being too nice to her, she'd probably turn into stone or fall into a river… His luck was unpredictable.
He finally managed to focus back on the old English on the page and found his peace once more. He could forget Chiaki's existence until class started. Then he'd be forced to listen to his classmates have fun with one another as he stayed in the background. Another noise caught him off guard but he tried to hide in the pages. If the creature were real, he wouldn't be as kind to Nagito. He'd get frustrated with the male's constant talks of hope and find his degrading utterly annoying. He'd kill him before the world would get the chance to.
The noise came closer and his book flew out of his hands. The damage was already five as he saw the paperback hit an unsuspecting Chiaki's face. He panicked once more and moved from his seat. He was having trouble deciding to comfort his classmate or grab his precious book. She stood there and hummed in surprise. Her expression was not angry. It was calm compared to white haired boy’s fumbling. But he always assumed the worst and did the only thing he could think to satisfy her.
He got on his knees, hands clasped for dear life.
“Nanami-san,” he held back tears as he spiraled into despair before her. “I am so sorry that happened. I would never purposely do that to you!” He tried to reassure her, reassure himself that that was the case. “I am nothing but trash beneath your feet, destined to rot in a landfill for eternity. How can I ever make it up to you?” Tears ran down his cheeks before he could stop them and he felt more ashamed than the time he got a deer killed by a drunk driver headed into the forest. That deer only died because he tried to call it over, and that driver killed it within seconds. Still, hurting one of his classmates, even by accident, filled him with the deepest shame.
She didn't move to comfort him, nor did she move away to ignore his begging. She stood there awkwardly, not knowing how to respond to his self-degrading. All she wanted to do was ask him a question, but she had inadvertently caused him to have a mental breakdown.
‘I guess I'm not that good at socializing…’ she thought before finally deciding to resolve the situation. He still sat on his knees in a prayer position, but he seemed to sink further and further into a floor bow before she could stop him. She kneeled in front of him, finding the ground uncomfortable for her thicker knees. She couldn't imagine how much pain Nagito's skinnier legs were in. Still, she pushed through the discomfort and grabbed him gently by the shoulders. He flinched from her touch but didn't push her away. Her thumbs instinctively rubbed his shoulders as she figured out what she could say to bring him back to normalcy. Not too long after thinking, she had an idea that was bound to work.
“Komaeda-san, do you happen to have a jacket I could borrow? I'm running colder than usual.” She knew his priority to give the Ultimates whatever they wanted would overpower any mental break he was having.
Unless somebody asked him to hurt himself… That would definitely send him further into a spiral.
He looked at Chiaki with dread and confusion but he scrambled to appease her. He grabbed the material off the back of his seat and held it to the girl. She still looked at him with no anger, yet he knew she was trying to communicate something more. He waited with baited breathing, desperately hoping she wouldn't punish him for his mistake. She gave him a small frown.
“Would you wrap it around me?” He blinked. That wasn't the response he had expected. Still, he pulled the jacket around her with haste, hoping to finally satisfy her. She finally gave him a soft smile. “Thank you, Komaeda-kun.” She gave his shoulder a soft pat and struggled to stand up from her previous position. He tried to help but found himself in a worse state. Both his legs had completely gone numb from the knees down, and he could only imagine the girl's legs were the same. Her smile never broke even as she looked away from him, afraid to keep holding eye contact. That was the only thing he was good at doing in conversation.
“I truly hope I didn't hurt you too badly…”
“Komaeda,” She scanned his body language. His shoulders slouched, his eyes locked on hers but still downcast, and his lips formed a pout. All she wanted to do was comfort him. “You have nothing to apologize for.” Nagito wanted to disagree, but the look in her eyes told him he shouldn't argue further. Or beg, for that matter.
The gamer girl wanted to blame herself for the encounter, but she knew it'd just send the boy into another rant about how useless he was. Instead, she broke eye contact and let her eyes wander to the book on his desk. Among all the chaos, it hadn't moved from the middle of the desk when the boy set it back down. She wasn't a master at English, but she played and read enough media to deduce the book title.
“I didn't know you read English classics.” Nagito scratched his neck nervously, seeming more embarrassed by casual talk than moments before.
“I just pick up books I find interesting. It's not a big deal.”
“But you're reading a book in English! I can't even read English that well.” The boy blushed at her praise and immediately wanted to raise her above his level, but she had moved on before he could say any more. “What's the story about?”
“Oh,” He had been caught off guard once again, but he didn't mind the distraction. If it meant the girl forgave him for his wrongdoings, he'd be happy to talk about something as boring as a book. “It's about a scientist named Frankenstein whose goal is to create a creature. He does so successfully but ultimately abandons it because he does not know how to truly care for the being.” The girl picked up the book and ran her fingers across the cover, examining the drawing of the creature looking at itself. From the image alone, she could assume Nagito related himself to the character. The creature stared at its reflection in the water and found an ugly face looking back at it. Nagito definitely viewed himself that way. She could just tell.
“That's interesting. We should read it together when we have time.” She set the book down and walked back to her seat, plopping down with the tiredness of a sloth. Nagito blinked once more and became confused. How could she have a casual conversation and then walk away just like that? He sat back down himself and couldn't help but stare off into space. He leaned back and shuddered when his back touched the cold seat. Confused, he turned back to see his jacket no longer there. His eyes found the warm clothing on Chiaki's body, and he had momentarily forgotten he had given it to her.
‘Oh well.’ He brushed it off and decided that her warmth was worth more than his comfort from the cold. His eyes wandered towards the door as his other classmates started walking in, leaving him even more alone with his thoughts than before. After checking his watch, he noticed how fast time flew after their interaction. Even when some of the girls greeted Chiaki, he still couldn't pull his gaze away from her. She was a beacon of light that guided him back to land. She didn't shame him for being so dramatic over his mishap. She calmed him even when he couldn't calm himself.
And for that, he wanted to stick around her longer. Maybe he could finally make a friend for once.