Work Text:
"Hey remember when you kissed me on stage that time?" Ryan asks me, poking me in the shoulder with his shoe.
"Which time, the time in Chicago, Denver, New York, Vegas, Florida," Spencer laughs, counting on his fingers. I roll my eyes at them, shaking my head and laughing. It's my way of getting out of situations like this, just gotta no-homo it out.
"I do remember, how could I forget my favourite pastime?" I laugh, trying to make a joke out of it, even though it's hardly a joke anymore.
"Your favourite pastime?" Ryan asks, raising his eyebrows at me and grinning. I tense up, even though I know it's only light-hearted joking.
"Always my favourite," I say, trying to sound sarcastic, and winking jokingly. Why did I do that? Why. I feel my face heating up, and I hope nobody notices. "How long til we're in Dallas?" I ask, hoping to change the subject.
"Aw, look." Spencer laughs, grinning evilly "He's changing the subject," Bitch.
"6 hours," Zack says, from another room. Now that my question's been answered, there's nothing to fill the somewhat awkward silence.
"Move your ass, Ross." Spencer says "I wanna lie down". Ryan shifts closer to me to make room on the small sofa, and I tense up, becuase there's little to no space between us and after that conversation, of all conversations this could happen after. I can hear the TV buzzing in the background and I focus on that instead, trying to pay attention to the late night TV shows. I don't know what to do with my hands, I reach to the side table to grab my phone, occupy my hands. I click it on, and type out a message to my brother. After I've pressed send, there's nothing for me to do again. I drum my fingers on the arm of the chair, restlessly. I'm stopped when Ryan reaches out his hand, and places it on mine firmly.
"Stop tapping, it's driving me insane." He says, tiredly. He pulls his hand away again. My heart rate has accelerated by at least 40%, and I hide my burning face in my hand, trying to not make it obvious that my cheeks are blushing red. "Tired" he mumbles, leaning his head on my shoulder. I try to breathe evenly, but I'm silently freaking out right now. What do you do when someone leans their head on your shoulder? What do you do when you've been in love with that someone for a year now? What do I do with my hands? Do I just sit here, all tense and blushing? Do I put my arm around him? Do I not? Am I supposed to react? My thoughts are racing too fast for me to handle. I jump a little when he winds his thin arm around my shoulder and holy shit he's got his arm around me? I look at him and he's already looking at me and I must look freaked out because he's laughing, not necessarily at me though. Just chuckling softly, kind of distantly.
"What?" I whisper, worriedly. He stops laughing, but he's still smiling. He looks up at me again, and I can't help smiling back. He leans forward, and for a second I think he's about to kiss me, but he presses his forehead against mine, almost nonchalantly. But then he does, he kisses me. And it happens so quickly, too quickly. I want to savour the moment, but I can't. It wasn't happening and now it is, and I still haven't really noticed what's happening. It takes me a while to kiss back, but when I do, I actually realise what the fuck is happening. "Ryan," I whisper, my lips brushing against his. "You're, is thi-" He cuts me off by deepening the kiss, sweeping his tongue along my lower lip. He pulls away this time. My face is burning up, and I'm probably blushing again. And I'm smiling like an idiot.
"My favourite pastime," Ryan whispers, grinning. He turns around to high-five Spencer, who had been so quiet during this, I forgot he was there.
"Told you it'd work. Didn't I tell you? I told you." Spencer smiles smugly, crossing his arms proudly.
"You had a plan?" I ask, laughing and shaking my head.
"Maybe," Ryan replies, blushing a little.
"You dork," I say, shoving him lightly.
"Takes one to know one." He replies, shoving me back and giggling.
"You guys are making me sick," Spencer chuckles, standing up to retire to his bunk. "Don't stay up too late, now."
"Sure, mom" I reply, rolling my eyes. He's gone now. I lean forward to kiss Ryan again, but he pushes me away.
"Not if I get there first!" he whispers, diving forward and pressing his lips to mine. I feel like I haven't really known him until now, and now that I do, it makes everything so much more special.
"Dork," I whisper, because it's the only thing I can say that isn't horribly mushy or gross.
"I love you, too. Dork" he replies. And he laughs. Again. For the first time tonight, I genuinely laugh, too. I'm on top of the world right now, and nothing can change that.