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While most sixteen year olds would hate having to get up early on a Saturday, Kenny doesn’t mind. In fact, he relishes the quiet. Kevin has already woken up at the ass crack of dawn to get to his job on Denkins’ Farm, and his parents are still sound asleep, nursing hangovers from various substances. The sound of his parents yelling at each other or at his brother is ambient noise to him now, so being able to hear only the birdsong outside, and the clink of dishware as he moves about the kitchen making breakfast before he heads to his Saturday job is bliss.
But today, as Kenny is fixing the collar of his baby blue work shirt in the bathroom mirror, the peaceful silence is punctured by sniffling. He sighs, the soft, sad sound puncturing his heart too. He slips out of the bathroom, and gently knocks on Karen’s door.
“Come in.” Her voice is thick.
Kenny slips inside to see Karen sitting on the side of her bed in her pjs, holding Bigwig, her beloved rabbit in her arms. She doesn’t acknowledge Kenny’s entrance at first, chewing her lip as she stares at Bigwig, her hair falling in front of her face.
Karen has loved rabbits since Kenny read Watership Down to her about four years ago. He thought it was a pretty brutal book for children, what with all the rabbit suffering, but it was a pretty epic story that Karen was enthralled by. She even checked it out of the library a few more times to read by herself, and doodles of bunnies were soon found all over her school notebooks.
So, when a year ago, a Lionhead bunny with caramel fur and a shaggy mane just as blond as Kenny’s hair arrived at the pet store where he worked, he knew he had to introduce him to Karen. He was Bigwig - Karen’s favourite character from Watership Down - incarnate. Karen fell in love with him immediately, and Kenny was using his 60% discount and Karen her own pocket money to buy all the rabbit essentials Bigwig needed to be able to bring him home. Their parents didn’t care as long as they didn’t have to contribute to Bigwig’s upkeep, and as long as he didn’t chew any of the wires and the carpet in the house. But Karen bunny-proofed her whole bedroom, and devoured any and all rabbit advice she could get her hands on to give him the best life possible.
Things were going smoothly until Kenny’s insanely generous 60% employee discount was stripped back to 10%. Suddenly, Bigwig’s care was not so affordable anymore.
“Hey…” Kenny murmurs.
Karen looks up, her face flushed and sticky with tears.
“Hey, Kenny.”
“You alright?” he asks, sitting beside her on the bed. Bigwig’s ears pick up, but he soon adjusts to the extra weight on the bed, senses Kenny’s safe presence and relaxes.
Karen nods quickly - too quickly. Kenny raises his eyebrows at her, and a weak, melancholic snort leaves Karen's nose before she shakes her head.
“Alright, so tell me what’s got you down.”
Of course, Kenny knows what it is. The adorable 5-pound furry elephant in the room. Karen made the responsible and mature decision to rehome Bigwig, but just because she came to such a rational and selfless decision doesn’t mean she can’t go through the different stages of grief, and cycle between all of them.
“Bigwig,” she replies with a heavy sigh. He squirms a little in her arms, but she strokes him gently, just the way he likes, and he settles again. “I want to just keep holding him like this but everytime I look at him it hurts, and…” her voice swells with tears the longer she talks. “I don’t want him to see me sad.”
Kenny frowns, face creasing with sympathy. He places his hand on Karen’s shoulder and rubs soothing circles there.
“Oh, bud, I’m sure he doesn’t mind.”
Karen looks up at him, eyes glittering.
“They’re very sensitive, you know.”
“I know. But what I’m trying to say is, don’t beat yourself up for feeling sad about this, okay?” He puts on his most encouraging smile. “It’s natural. Feel what you’ve got to feel.” He nods. “Bigwig will be okay.”
Karen sighs again, her breath shuddering with all the tears left in her.
“I know…” she murmurs.
She runs her fingers down Bigwig’s nose, and in the quiet, Kenny can hear the satisfied clicking of his teeth. His eyes drift shut and he nuzzles the crook of Karen’s elbow. Even with their limited resources, she’s been able to build such a great bond with Bigwig to the point that when he’s ready to settle down for the night, he hops up on Karen’s bed and flops down next to her. It’s one of the most adorable sights Kenny has ever seen.
“See!” Kenny beams, giving Karen’s shoulder a small shake. “He loves being with you.”
The words curdle in Kenny’s mouth, and although she tries to hide it behind her mousy hair he can see Karen’s face fall.
“I’m sorry…” he whispers.
Karen looks up at him, shaking her head with a sad smile.
“It’s alright, Ken. You didn’t do anything.”
But that’s the thing, Kenny is worried he did. Was he too impulsive in getting Bigwig for Karen? Too blinded by her joy in the moment to see what pain such a rash decision could cause her later? Now she’s the responsible one making a sacrifice, and that doesn’t sit right with Kenny.
“Besides, I should just let my emotions out, right?” she says with an unsure chuckle.
“Right.” Kenny nods, his throat shrinking, probably trying to accommodate his heart that is swelling with pride and pity for his little sister. “And remember how brave you are, okay?” he gives her shoulder a squeeze and looks into her eyes. “How smart and mature you are?”
“I am…” Karen smiles shyly.
“Hell yeah, you are!” Kenny grins. “I wasn’t this smart and mature at your age!” he rolls his eyes. “I mean, it’s debatable whether I am now…”
Karen laughs, and it makes the corners of her sparkling eyes crinkle with joy.
“The point is, this is a tough decision but you’re doing right by Bigwig.”
Karen’s smile fades and she stares down at her precious pet once more.
“I’m just gonna miss him, that’s all…”
Kenny’s nose and eyes start to sting, so he hides his tears in Karen’s hair, planting a firm kiss there.
“Me too,” he whispers. He pulls back, getting to his feet and smoothing down his uniform. “Listen, I gotta get to work, but I’ll see you later.”
“Okay…”
Kenny raises his eyebrows.
“And if you need anything, call me.”
Karen rolls her eyes fondly, used to this ‘goodbye’ routine.
“I will.”
Kenny smiles.
“Alright, bye bud.” He leans down to grin at Bigwig, giving him a wave. “Bye, Big Man!”
Karen giggles.
“Say bye to Uncle Kenny!”
Bigwig just stares at him blankly, his nose twitching.
It’s a slow Saturday and Kenny is stationed at the worst place to be in a practically empty store - the cash register. At least if he had customers to talk to he’d have a decent motivation to put on a cheery grin, a good distraction from thoughts of what it’s going to be like when Karen finally has to drop Bigwig off at the animal shelter.
“Hey there, Ken!” Butters grins, plopping his purchases down on the counter.
Kenny blinks, so stuck in his glum thoughts that he forgot Butters was even here, the only customer perusing the aisles.
“Oh, hey, man.” He smiles at Butters weakly. “Just these?”
Butters blinks now too, a small dent between his eyebrows.
“Uh, yep, just them.”
Kenny starts scanning the bales of Timothy Hay and chew toys. Turns out Karen wasn’t the only ‘rabbit person’ in South Park. Butters is also the devoted bunny parent of Biscuits, a four year old lilac rex, and was even kind enough to donate some of her old toys to Bigwig.
“Gee, you seem kind of down,” Butters remarks.
“Huh?”
Butters raises his eyebrows.
“Everything okay?”
Kenny nods vigorously.
“Yeah, everything is fine, Butters, I just…” he sighs. “My sister needs to give up her rabbit.”
Butters gasps, loud enough to make Kenny jump and almost drop the barcode scanner.
“Oh no! Not little Bigwig!”
Kenny nods, heavy eyelids slipping shut.
“They cut my discount at this place so I can’t afford to get all his supplies anymore, and Karen’s been breaking her back, trying to earn some extra money on the side and…” Kenny shuts his eyes tighter now, riding out the twinge in his chest when he thinks of the evenings Karen spent shovelling snow and cleaning people’s houses to try to scrape together enough cash to provide for Bigwig. Kenny would check in on her to see her asleep on top of the homework she didn’t have time to do and tuck her in properly. “I don’t know, man. She’s a kid. She shouldn’t have to do that, and besides, it’s not fair on Bigwig. He needs to be with someone who can afford to take care of him. But it’s also tough on Karen because she loves that bunny.”
Butters nods, lips pressed into a tight frown.
“That’s a tough situation you got there, Ken. I’m sorry.”
“Thanks, man.” Kenny smiles, before clearing his throat and getting back into retail assistant mode. “Hey, you’ve got your store card with you?”
Butters blinks, like he’d forgotten about his purchases.
“Oh, sure,” he replies, fishing it out of his Hello Kitty wallet.
Kenny scans the code on the back of his Pets-U-Luv card, and the total price on the screen reduces.
“Wait…” Butters whispers.
“Alright, man, that’s-”
“Wait just a second!” Butters exclaims.
“What?” Kenny asks, brow furrowing as he eyes Butters up and down.
“Kenny!” Butters grins, throwing his arms down, palms upturned. “Don’t you see? I could adopt Bigwig!”
“You’re….” the word falls out of his mouth before he can fully wrap his head around what Butters is proposing. He raises his eyebrows. “You’re serious?”
“Yes!” Butters chuckles, delighted. “I’ve been looking for a pal for Biscuits anyway! And Karen can come visit whenever she wants!”
“Oh my god…” The heaviness that’s been sitting in his chest all morning is evaporating, a smile spreading across his face with no signs of stopping. “Oh my god, this is incredible!” Kenny laughs, and Butters giggles too, and it reminds Kenny of when he and Butters have been stoned at parties together. Funnily enough, that thought sobers him, reminds him how careful he has to be. He doesn’t want to indulge too much in this, get Karen’s hopes up and then crash them all over again. “But are you sure? Like, really sure?”
Butters nods firmly, beaming.
“I’m sure. We’ll arrange a bunny play-date for them, so they can get to know each other and we can see if they’re a good fit. How does that sound?”
“Fucking tits!”
“Uhhh, great!” Butters grins, and Kenny processes Butters' transaction with an extra spring in his step.
“Well, I’ll see you in school,” Butters says as he gathers up his purchases. “Bye, Ken!” he calls over his shoulder as leaves the store.
“Later, Butters! You’re the best, man!”
When he’s alone once more, Kenny punches the air in celebration… and wonders if he can somehow put the total amount of what Butters just paid back onto his store card without getting fired. Getting Butters his supplies for free is the least he can do to say ‘thank you.’
It’s Tuesday evening, and Kenny and Karen are making the short trip to Butters’ house with Bigwig in his carrier. Karen was delighted when Kenny came home from work on Saturday and informed her of Butters’ generous offer. It kind of spooked Kenny, her reaction echoing just how excited she was when they brought Bigwig home in the first place. He tried to temper his anxiety by telling her that it was only one option - a pretty fucking great option, yes - and to not get her hopes up.
Karen understood, but Kenny is now worried he overcorrected, judging by how quiet she’s been since coming home from school today. He wonders if he’ll ever get the balance right, and if this is how it feels to be a parent. A good parent, anyway. Not that he wants kids. The thought of outliving Karen and his friends is agonising enough. He shakes his head, and a cold, sharp gust of wind brings him back to the present chilly afternoon.
“How are you feeling?” he asks Karen with his retail assistant smile.
Karen nods, lips pursed and turned up at the corners.
“Good… excited…” she sighs. “Nervous.”
“How’s Biggie doing?” Kenny leans down to get a better look of Bigwig in his carrier. All he can make out is his twitching nose.
Karen peers inside too.
“He’s a little shaky, but he’s okay.”
“Little guy doesn’t get outside much,” Kenny remarks, shoving his hands deeper in the pockets of his coat. “He’s not used to the cold.”
He removes one from his pocket when they reach Butters’ door, pressing the button on the Ring doorbell.
The door soon opens, and Butters cheery face is like the sun breaking through the clouds on an otherwise dreary afternoon.
“Hey, Ken! Hey, Karen!”
“Hey, man,” Kenny replies, with an appreciative smile. All the smiles he’s directed Butters’ way have been appreciative lately.
“Hi…” Karen adds shyly, like she is when greeting all of Kenny’s friends… except for Stan. She can hardly speak around him.
Stan is cool about it though, he knows the struggle of childhood crushes all too well. He could barely open his mouth around Wendy without throwing up, after all.
Butters gasps, crouching down to peer inside the carrier.
“Bigwig! Oh, it is an honour to meet you in person!” Butters stands up straight, beaming. “Come in, you guys.”
He leads them through the toasty living room and down into the basement, which it turns out, isn’t a basement but a bunny theme park. Colourful tunnels snake around the room, there are toys scattered everywhere, a play pen bursting with hay, and - to top off this rabbit Disneyland - an actual castle. Kenny recognises it from the store, actually. A pine hideaway with pistachio green roofs on the turrets.
“Woah…” Kenny whispers, and clocks the adorable miniature bed with ‘Biscuits’ carved in elegant cursive on the headboard.
“This is incredible!” Karen grins, wonderment melting away her shyness.
“Thank you!” Butters’ chest is puffed out as he surveys the habitat he’s created.”Only the best for my princess.”
Kenny hears the distinctive tap of rabbit feet, and sees a shadow running through the tunnel closest to him.
“There she goes!” Butters smiles, crouching down with his arms outstretched as Biscuits hops out of the tunnel. “Come here, sweetie…”
Butters scoops her up carefully, and Karen is slack-jawed as she studies Biscuits, with her dense, velvety grey fur that really does shine lilac when the light hits it just right.
“Kenny, Karen, this is Biscuits.”
Karen smiles at her, totally enamoured.
“She’s beautiful, Butters.” She turns to Kenny. “Look at her fur, Ken!”
Kenny nods, impressed. He doesn’t know if rabbit shows are a thing like dog shows are, but if they were, Biscuits would sweep the board.
“You can pet her, if you’d like.” Butters glances between Karen and Kenny, extending the invitation to the both of them.
Karen’s eyes widen.
“Really?”
“Yeah! She loves attention.”
With one hand still holding Bigwig’s carrier, Karen steps forward and slowly reaches for Biscuits. As soon as Karen’s fingers meet her plush forehead, her eyes slip shut, serene as Karen strokes her nose. She gasps.
“Oh my god! You are such a friendly girl!” Her smile wilts a little. “I hope you like my Bigwig.”
“I’m sure she will.” Butters smiles warmly. He nods his head towards a black gate. “I thought we could put Bigwig in this play pen of hers, so they can see each other without coming into contact.”
Karen nods, and Kenny trails after them.
“Oh, dude, it’s chill, he’s fixed.”
Butters shakes his head.
“It’s not that, Ken-”
“You need to be careful bonding rabbits,” Karen interjects. “They can really hurt each other and stress each other out if you just throw them together.”
“She’s right,” Butters replies sagely. “It’s a delicate dance.” He steps into the play pen, shutting the gate behind him. Karen hands him Bigwig over the gate. “I can’t wait to see the little fella!”
The air seems to thicken as Butters crouches down and opens Bigwig’s carrier. It takes a few seconds but Bigwig soon hops out, and to allow him some space Butters manages to climb out of the pen with impressive, unnerving flexibility. Bigwig is still a bit jittery, sniffing the air and he even looks up at Karen for reassurance. She nods, and Kenny puts his arm around her shoulder when he notices tears welling in her eyes.
Now that he’s had the all clear from his mama, Bigwig hops about, doing a tentative lap of the play pen. It’s then that Biscuits hops past Kenny’s feet, and the two rabbits spot each other.
It’s hard to tell whether it’s love at first sight, although they do stare at each other for quite a while. Kenny wonders if they’re trying to communicate something with their twitching noses, like bunny Morse code. Biscuits hops closer, and Bigwig’s ears go rigid. He cranes his neck to get a better view of his new friend. He keeps that curious, eager stance as she takes her time hopping over to him. It reminds Kenny of old cartoons with pretty, coy girl animals who, with a bat of their eyelashes, turn the boy animals around them into lovesick fools.
Butters breaks the silence.
“He’s really happy to meet her,” he whispers.
“Do you think she likes him too?” Karen asks.
All three of them are glued to the rabbit meeting happening at their feet.
“I think she’s playing hard to get,” Kenny jokes.
Biscuits is an inch away from the partition separating her and Bigwig now, and Bigwig tosses his head in excitement, the same way he does before doing zoomies around Karen’s bedroom. It startles Biscuits, freezing her to the spot.
Bigwig, bro, you need to chill.
After a couple of seconds Biscuits’ ears slowly raise and she hops towards him again. Bigwig seems to get the dating advice his uncle was imparting to him. He doesn’t toss his head, but shows his interest by craning his neck.
They’re the closest they’ve ever been now, and the three humans - not wanting to startle the rabbits - silently celebrate with grins and fist bumps when Biscuits boops Bigwig on the nose through the gaps in the play pen.
It takes a month for Biscuits and Bigwig to bond well enough for Karen to be happy to permanently move Bigwig into the Stotch household. Kenny can almost taste the bittersweetness in the air as he stands in Karen’s room, emptied of Bigwig’s belongings now sitting in the back of Kevin’s truck. At least that’s what he’s going to pin the stinging in his eyes and the tightness of his throat on. The bittersweetness of it all.
“Wow…” Karen whispers, holding Bigwig in his carrier. “My room looks bigger, somehow.”
“All his stuff is off the floor, that’s why.” He gives her shoulder a gentle nudge. “Look on the bright side, you’ll have more space now.”
Karen snickers ruefully.
“I guess.” She chews her lip, but it doesn’t stop a tear from rolling down her cheek.
As the tear rolls down his sister’s face, it slices Kenny’s heart clean in half. Biting back his own, he puts his arm around Karen and pulls her closer.
“Hey, you’ll see him again soon.” He smiles. “Butters said you can come over whenever you want.”
Karen nods quickly, swiping away her tears with her free hand.
“I know.”
“And Bigwig is going to be so happy with Biscuits.”
Karen smiles down at Bigwig through the slats in his carrier.
“Yeah, they’re real buds…” she presses her lips together. “I just hope he doesn’t forget me.”
Kenny nods, his arm around her softening as he comes up empty with how to comfort her on that. After all, what does he know about rabbit memory? The inner workings of the bunny mind?
“I know, but…” he squeezes her shoulder when he thinks he’s got something. “You’ve got friends you hang out with, right?”
Karen blinks, looking up at him.
“Yeah?”
Kenny grins.
“Yeah, well, just because you spend a lot of time with them doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten me, does it?”
Karen’s eyes widen and she pulls back from Kenny a tad, genuinely aghast at the notion.
“No!”
“Exactly!” Kenny raises his arms definitively. “So Bigwig won’t forget you.” His arms slowly return to his sides. “He loves you.”
Karen beams - nailed it - and studies the room one last time. It’s a room she’ll be returning to day after day after day until she grows up and finds her own place, it’s the room she’s known for most of her life, but a corner of it was carved out for Bigwig, and even now she’s got that corner back for herself, the extra carpet space back, it’s a noticeable lack now. A corner that can never be filled.
Kenny takes a deep breath.
“Alright, I’m ready whenever you are.”
Karen nods slowly, assessing the situation, before she decides: “I’m ready.”
Kenny’s chest swells with pride.
“Then let’s go.”
The drive over to Butters’ house is less than five minutes, but it’s easier to transport all of Bigwig’s stuff in Kevin’s truck. Butters greets them at the door, and as soon as they set Bigwig down in the basement and open his carrier, he and Biscuits run to each other like old friends reuniting.
“They’re adorable!” Butters gushes, hands in prayer under his chin.
“See?” Kenny grins at Karen as she watches the rabbits run circles around each other and do excited little head tosses. Like Kenny theorised, Biscuits was playing hard to get at first and he gotta hand it to her, her strategy worked. Bigwig is absolutely besotted with her. “They’re going to be just fine.”
Karen smiles at Kenny, raising her eyebrows.
“More than fine.” She then beams at Butters, the gratitude pouring out of her face like sunlight emerging after a storm. “Thank you so much, Butters.”
Kenny nods, trying to emphasise their thankfulness but he’s worried he’s only diminishing it.
“Yeah, thanks, man. You don’t know how huge this is.”
Butters blinks, eyes flitting between the two of them before colour rises in his face and he scuffs the ground softly with his foot. A childish habit he hasn’t (ha) kicked.
“Gee, that’s okay, you guys.” He stands straighter then, shoulders drawing back slightly. “It’s my pleasure.”
Kenny and Butters soon start unloading Bigwig’s stuff from the truck, leaving Karen to play with Bigwig and Biscuits. He keeps stealing glances of her on their trips back and forth to the basement, another stitch closed on his guilt-cracked heart every time he sees Karen and her beloved Bigwig happy, knowing he’s done right by them both.
At one point, Biscuits is grooming Bigwig’s little mane, while Bigwig’s chin is flat to the ground and his eyes are drooping shut. Total bunny bliss.
“You gotta keep his hair tidy for me, okay, Biscuits?” Karen smiles. “He’s more high maintenance than he looks.”
She catches Kenny looking, and grins.