Work Text:
James knew he had a problem at this point. He knew that if it happened once, that was just a one time thing and shouldn't be counted, but if it happened twice? Maybe it was him. He had now fallen twice for someone who didn't have any interest in him whatsoever.
First there was Lily Evans. Beautiful, smart, strong Lily Evans who didn't suffer fools. Bright red hair, vibrant green eyes, freckled cheeks, and a perfect smile. She was smarter than him, and he loved listening to her. He would try and talk to her and be closer to her and she wouldn't allow it. When he would flirt with her, she would make a show of turning him away. She made it well known that his advances weren't welcome, and he kept going, saying he would win her over eventually.
Eventually never came.
James' feelings did fade eventually, however. He didn't realize it at first, but his flirtations became less and less genuine with time. They weren't serious, they weren't with any loving intentions anymore, he more so did it to make people laugh and entertain the audience they always seemed to have.
The second time, however, he managed to fall for someone his friends wouldn't have ever picked for him. To start the surprise of his crush, he'd seemed to be gone on a boy. A boy with perfect dark hair, flawless porcelain skin, and piercing gray eyes. A boy who also happened to be his best friend’s younger brother.
Regulus Black was also completely uninterested and unamused by James, and while Lily had fought back against James’ advances, Regulus tried to simply ignore them or make snide remarks. James loved the idea of a challenge, and getting Regulus’ attention was his biggest one yet.
"Hello, beautiful." James beamed at Regulus as he slid into the seat across from him at the library. "What are we studying today?"
Regulus looked up from his textbook and raised a brow, his expression was otherwise blank. "Potter." He greeted in turn, his voice as emotionless as his face. "Transfiguration."
James' smile brightened somehow. "I'm great at Transfiguration, you know. One of the best in my year." He boasted, leaning forward a bit.
Regulus looked at him doubtfully. "I'm sure you're a genius at it, perfect as always." He looked back down at the textbook, completely uninterested in whatever James was boasting about.
"You're so sweet to me, Reggie, calling me perfect." James cooed.
"Don't call me that." Regulus did not look up again, knowing that was what James wanted.
"What would you rather? Darling? Sweetheart? Dearest? Mon amour? Mon amê? Mon coeur?" James' French was not good in the slightest, but he knew the Blacks were fluent, so he gave it a shot. "I noticed you didn't complain when I called you beautiful earlier."
Regulus' nose crinkled at the misuse of his native language. "Tu es peut-être la pire personne que j'ai jamais rencontrée." (You might be the worst person I've ever met) He shot back in quick words he knew James wouldn't be able to parse out.
James beamed back at him anyway. "Your French is so perfect. I've tried learning it, Sirius makes fun of my English accent, I'm sure you would too." He chuckled at his own expense.
Regulus shook his head. "Tu es un homme ridicule. C'est une chance que tu sois beau." (You are a ridiculous man. It’s lucky that you're so handsome) He sighed, clearly James wasn't going to let him focus for another second, so he closed his book. "Your accent is horrendous. If you're going to speak a language, you should make an effort."
"Maybe I can help you with your Transfiguration, and you can help me with my accent." He offered, feeling more than a little triumphant at the fact that he'd gotten Regulus to close his book altogether.
"Maybe you should go find someone else to pester." Regulus tried to sound as disinterested as he had when James first sat down, but he knew he wasn't very convincing anymore, especially now that he'd given James his undivided attention.
"Oh, I would, but I'd much rather pester you. Might even make you smile one of these days."
"You sound far too confident."
"Oh, darling, I think if I really put my mind to it, I could even make you laugh." James leaned even further across the table towards Regulus.
"Don't count on it, with how this is going." Regulus leaned back against his chair, crossing his arms over his chest in response to James' lean closer.
"Oi, Reg- oh ho, what's this?" A voice instantly grated on James' nerves, he leaned back in his seat and his smile faltered. Barty, Evan, and his twin sister Pandora all took seats at their table. Pandora was beside Regulus, Evan at the end of the table, and Barty sat on the edge of the table itself. "Interrupting, are we, Potter?" He grinned smugly, and James' irritation grew.
"Yes, actually, I was helping Regulus study his Transfiguration." James gestured to the textbook on the table.
"Oh, yeah, very cool. We often study with our books closed, don't we, Ev?"
"Sure. Human anatomy." Evan agreed, giving Regulus a teasing look as he seemed to sink further into his seat. Barty laughed far too loudly for a library, resulting in an annoyed shh from the next table down.
"You can all leave, you know. Plenty of open seats anywhere else." James suggested, shooting a quick glare at Barty. He had wanted to find Regulus alone for a change, and he looked so uncomfortable, James wanted to rescue him from an uncomfortable social interaction.
"While I'm so glad those glasses aren't just for decoration," Barty rolled his eyes, "what you don't get is that we were invited, this is our normal study time and our normal table. You're the one out of place here."
James had a rare moment of speechlessness. Regulus had just been waiting for his friends, and James had invited himself. He looked at Regulus for any sort of reassurance that he was a welcome presence, and Regulus was staring very hard at the table with a tight jaw and his cheeks were a lovely light pink.
"Regulus hasn't complained yet." James shrugged.
"Course you haven't, Reggie. You like having something pretty to look at when you're studying, don't you, love?" Barty nudged Regulus' shoulder, and James watched his cheeks darken as he looked up at Barty with an icy, cold glare.
"Alright, leave him alone," Pandora held Regulus' arm, one hand rubbing over it comfortingly. "He likes spending time with James, they're friends."
"Sure they are. You're very friendly with Potter, aren't you?" Evan snickered with Barty.
James knew they would just keep teasing Regulus if he stayed, but he was enjoying the display of emotions on the usually stoic boy. "The best of friends." He smiled warmly at Regulus, who looked up at him with surprised gray eyes.
"However annoying they are, they're right. This is our study session, I was simply early." Regulus sighed to James, then looked up at Barty. "Potter was just mentioning his expertise in Transfiguration, Barty. You should listen so you may have a chance at passing our next exam."
"I'm absolutely positive Potter cares less about our Transfiguration grades and more about your figure." Barty had a particular talent for making himself laugh and no one else.
"Enough, Barty." Regulus warned him.
"I'll catch up with you another time, Reg, okay?" James smiled, trying to ease some tension and ignoring Barty entirely.
James was almost certain he saw disappointment in those stormy gray eyes. Conflicted and saddened, Regulus kept those eyes on James as he stood up.
"I'll see you-" Regulus cut himself off and cleared his throat to start again. "Don't expect another chance encounter." He corrected himself, finally looking away.
After James left, Regulus took the opportunity to shove Barty off the table. He fell quite gracelessly to the ground.
"Ow, shit, Reg, what was that?!" Barty cried as he got to his feet, sinking into James' chair. He got another warning shh from the next table down.
"You're so insufferably stupid, you know what you were doing." Regulus spat, glaring daggers at his friend.
"He likes you, you know he does, and you've always liked him. What's holding you back?" Pandora asked, her voice soft, she leaned against Regulus' side in a sort of hug so she could support him and be close to him. She wanted to calm things before anything escalated between Barty and Regulus, and they were asked to leave the library.
Regulus looked at her, he wanted to tell her everything, but with her brother and Barty here he couldn't. Pandora was his best friend, she was kind and honest and just odd enough that he felt he could truly be himself around her. Pandora, he often felt, shared a part of his soul.
"He doesn't know me. He knows Sirius and what Sirius says. He can't like what he doesn't know." Regulus shook his head. James couldn't like him, it wasn't possible.
"Isn't that the best part? He wants to know you." Pandora smiled, resting her head on his shoulder.
–
James sat in the Great Hall with his usual group of friends the next morning, hoping none of them would notice his near constant glances at the Slytherin table. He wasn’t that lucky.
“Look at Prongs, I’m so proud. He must be cooking up something devious to be so focused on the Slytherins today.” Sirius praised him and gave him an encouraging pat on the back. “You’ll have to fill us in, you know we have to operate as a team. Me, Moony, and Wormy are all ready for another good one, aren’t we, boys?”
James snapped his head up and stared at Sirius. Now was one of those times that he really wished he was a better liar. He looked between the three other Marauders and opened his mouth to speak, willing an idea to come to mind.
“Oh, I remember he told me his plan last night, asked if I would help him with the spellwork.” Remus cut him off before he even had the chance to stumble over his weak excuse, giving James a look that James returned with relief and gratitude.
“Remus and I just need to work out the logistics before we put everything in motion. Can’t tell you til it’s ready, Pads, you always jump the gun.” James said with a nervous laugh.
“What? Moony, you can’t tell me?” Sirius turned wide pleading eyes on Remus, who seemed to falter a bit in his resolve, but another look at a desperate James had him straighten his spine.
“Not until it’s ready, then we’ll go over all of it together. Can’t risk blowing this one like you did the last time you got impatient. And the time before that.” Remus reminded him, with a light jab of his elbow into Sirius’ side.
“That’s completely unfair! I’ve never seen Prongs looking so intense unless he’s looking at Evans. This has to be his best work!” Sirius continued to whine as if somehow it would get him his way.
“And don’t you think that his best work deserves to come to fruition?” Remus looked at Sirius, amused that he was so upset at the idea of being left out of a prank.
“Trust me, it’ll be worth the wait.” James nodded, trying his best to give his usual excited grin and look more eager than anxious.
“Fine. But I want this spellwork done quickly so I don’t have to keep waiting. They’ve lived peacefully for far too long, we need to strike soon.” Sirius stood and straightened his clothes. “I’ll see you both in the library then? Bent over charms books, working on this? I’m not letting this go.” He said as he left the table, sauntering off to his own Saturday plans, which may or may not include getting back into bed.
“He’ll forget after he wakes up later. Or I can probably convince him he dreamt it. Don’t worry.” Remus muttered to James. “Do I want to know which Slytherin has your attention? I know Lily had a date last week, and you didn’t seem to care nearly as much as you used to. So. Who are we staring at?”
James should’ve known he wouldn’t get away that easily. Remus had saved him from potential ruin, and he owed him. He just wasn’t sure he was ready to give him this secret, he didn’t know if he ever would be.
“I really don’t think you want to know, but I’m stuck, Moony.” James sighed, letting his head fall a bit, but a smile appeared on his lips that he couldn’t stop.
“Stuck? This must be the new love of your life, then, now that Lily isn’t taking all of your attention. What happened to that, by the way? Thought you were certain she was your future wife.”
“She might’ve been at some point, but she’s one of my best friends now. I like how we are, how we have been. I think she’s beautiful, and brilliant, and kind, and strong, but I know she doesn’t love me. I can’t make her love me.” James shook his head, glancing down the table at Lily, who was talking animatedly to Mary.
“Very mature of you. Only took you six years to realize that one.” Remus teased him, “But now, you have a new future wife? Does this one love you back?”
“Well-” James started, but realized he didn’t have an answer. “This one doesn’t fight back like she did, and doesn’t seem to mind my attention, even if they act annoyed. They’re smart, and they can even be funny sometimes. Every once in a while, they smile at me, and I’m sure my heart stops beating. The whole world might stop for that moment.” James looked up at his friend with a rosy tint to his cheeks and his smile growing wider as his heart felt full again at the thought of his newest crush.
“You think they like you back then?”
“I think so. It’s just… complicated.” James’ smile fell just a bit at the thought that things would never really come together for himself and Regulus.
“I’m sure you’ll find a way, you’re far too stubborn to give up, especially if they’re encouraging you.”
“I think it might ruin things, if I did try anything. It might hurt the Marauders.” James admitted, his thoughts worsening as he imagined all the different outcomes he might get if he ever told Sirius.
“Just because you’re interested in a Slytherin? I don’t think any of us are that shallow, Sirius is just dramatic.” Remus rolled his eyes.
“Sirius is the one I’m most worried about. I can’t do anything to lose him or hurt him.”
Remus saw how serious and frightened James looked and he wondered what would have him feeling this way if it was just a crush on someone in their rival house. Sirius loved James like a brother, there wasn’t any one crush that could ruin that. Unless-
“Oh. Oh no.” Remus had a sudden realization. “Tell me you aren’t even thinking about his brother.” He hoped James would laugh and assure him that it would never be Regulus. But unfortunately that wasn’t what happened. James simply looked away from him, looked back at the Slytherin table, and when Remus followed his gaze he saw Regulus Black sitting with his group of friends, not paying any attention to anyone else in the Hall. “James.”
“I know! I know!” James groaned, staring holes into the dining table in front of him. “I know, it’s not like I did it on purpose.”
“Are you sure about this? You’re sure about how you feel about him?” Remus asked, watching James to note any change in his expression. The only thing he saw was genuine sincerity.
“I really, really like him.”
“As long as you’re sure about this. I’m sure Sirius will come around to it eventually, but don’t expect that to be his first reaction to the news.”
“He might not ever have to know. There doesn’t seem to be much I can do to get him to actually want to be with me. I’ve been using the map to try and talk to him alone. You know his friends? They don’t seem to like me that much.”
“Probably because of all of the pranking you so proudly put them through before you fell in love with one of them.”
“Fair point.”
–
"If I sit here, Crouch isn't going to sneak up behind me again, is he?" James asked, seeing Regulus sitting out by the lake one unseasonably warm afternoon. It was still quite brisk, but the sun was shining, and it seemed Regulus had shared James' desire to enjoy it while he could.
Regulus looked up from the book resting on his knees, and his lips twitched in what looked to James like a stifled smile.
"No, he doesn't know I'm here. Funnily, no one should know I'm here. Not sure how you managed to find me." It was odd, James seemed to find Regulus only when he was alone. It wasn't terribly often that he was out alone, if he was alone it was often in the dormitories.
James fidgeted a bit, suddenly very aware of the map in his back pocket. "Maybe I just wanted to enjoy the weather and got extremely lucky, finding good company along the way."
"Right. That's what you are, aren't you, Potter? Lucky." Regulus marked his page and let the book fall shut as he looked up at James. "Are you going to join me or simply stand and stare?"
"Trust me, I could stand and stare at you the rest of the day. Especially with how the sun hits you. I never noticed you had little freckles until today." James was naturally honest, not seeing any reason to hide when he was sure Regulus was well aware of his intentions.
Regulus ducked his head down, as if that would hide what James had already seen. "Just sit, James." He couldn't look up at him anymore, hoping if his cheeks were pink he could blame the sun.
James' heart skipped at the use of his given name. Was it a mistake, or did Regulus feel okay using it because they were here alone? Whatever the reason, James did exactly as he was told and sat on the grassy hillside beside Regulus.
"What are you reading? I feel like every time I see you, I have to steal you away from your book." He asked, looking over at the cover, before Regulus snatched it away and pressed it to his chest.
"Which would be easier to believe? That it's a textbook, a classic horror story, or a romance novel?" He asked, finally looking up at James and giving him a playful smirk.
James hummed thoughtfully, tapping his chin for dramatic effect. "I think it's a romance novel. I think when you study, you like to be at a desk or a table, so it can't be a textbook. I think you threw in the horror story as a red herring. I think you like feeling things, even if you don't like showing it. I think you like the idea of dramatic, grand gestures like sweeping someone off their feet on a beautiful day by the lake. So I think it's a romance novel." He said with confidence.
Regulus blinked at him. He was prepared to transfigure the book no matter what James answered so that he would be wrong, but somehow the answer had caught him off guard. He hadn't realized James had been actually observant of him.
"I- yes." Regulus stumbled a bit, not sure what he should say but knowing he couldn't exactly lie at this point.
"Cool." James tried to keep the triumphant feeling hidden. "What's it about? Tell me everything, fill me in." He said as he settled in, leaning back on his elbows and focusing entirely on the boy beside him.
Regulus gave him a curious expression. Surely James was just being polite. Indulging him. He wasn't actually interested in what he was reading about, his friends barely listened to him talk about his interests. Regulus was hesitant but elaborated on the plot of the book while James listened intently.
James couldn't help but smile when he listened to Regulus talk with actual interest and passion in his voice. He learned what characters he liked, the plot lines he felt were overused and lines that were no better than clichés. James asked questions and responded when Regulus paused, keeping it a conversation and a discussion, James felt he had a comprehensive knowledge of the book by the time their conversation lulled.
"Well, I hope the main character comes to her senses at some point and sees that she's been wrong about the love interest. I know she's had some bad experiences in the past, but not everyone has ulterior motives. It's nice to let yourself be loved." James commented, giving Regulus a look of understanding.
"I'm sure it is." Regulus sighed, having to look away from James as he felt seen in a way he hadn't expected.
"Well, you probably know all about that. You've got your friends who love you, your brother loves you, you probably even have a nice girlfriend." James kept his eyes on Regulus to gage his reaction to that.
Regulus' head snapped up, and he stared at James. "I don't have a girlfriend." He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Oh, the blonde girl you’re always with isn’t your girlfriend? A boyfriend, then, surely."
"I'm not seeing anyone, Potter." He scoffed.
"No way." James grinned.
"You know that I'm not. Don't be an idiot." Regulus couldn't stand the smug look on James' face. He felt like the older boy was mocking him.
"It's kind of hard to believe, that's all." James shrugged.
"So you're not pretending, then? Your test scores are merely flukes? You're actually an idiot."
"My marks are perfect, thanks, no flukes here. I'm just saying you're really beautiful and anyone could see that."
"Potter." Regulus said flatly, an unamused expression on his face.
"Yeah?"
"You're visually impaired. Don't comment on my appearance."
“Actually, my glasses might make me even more able to comment on your appearance since my vision is so enhanced.” James somehow managed to grin wider when Regulus rolled his eyes.
“Enhanced. Meaning, your damaged eyesight is now nearly equal to the rest of us?”
“Exactly that, my darling.” James may as well have been glowing, and it was extremely difficult for Regulus to look at him and maintain his disinterested expression.
“You don’t have to call me that, or even talk to me, you know. No one’s watching.” Regulus muttered, looking down at the grass and hoping his blush didn’t betray him.
“I know, I don’t do it for the audience, I do it because I want to. Does that bother you?” James asked, leaning his head down a bit to see if Regulus was actually upset with him.
“Why would you want to? You make no sense.” Regulus scoffed, turning his head away and staring out at the lake.
“Because I like you, and I like getting to see the sweet pink that your cheeks get when I let you know it.” James reached towards Regulus, but the other boy stood before he could get any closer.
“I have to go- meet my friends. I told them I’d fix their Potions homework.” He lied quickly and didn’t wait for James’ response before he started walking away, his head down and his book clutched tight to his chest.
As he walked back to the castle, he realized it wasn’t entirely a lie, he was actually going to see one of his friends, he just wasn’t going to do anything like homework with her. He was going to dissect whatever the hell just happened back there and what he should do about it. There was no reason James would’ve paid that much attention, he couldn’t comprehend what he was getting at with all this. Pandora was the only person he could talk to without any jokes or jabs being thrown, and he knew exactly where he’d find her.
“He called me ‘darling’ and ‘dearest’ and asked me about what I was reading and actually listened and talked to me about it.” Regulus groaned as he leaned against Pandora in the safety and silence of the Ravenclaw common room.
“Oh, that sounds just miserable, love.” Pandora hummed, stroking her fingers through Regulus’ curls to soothe him as she smiled sweetly.
“It was miserable! I went outside to be alone, and yet he found me somehow!”
“Maybe he also went to be alone, but found you along the way.”
“Be reasonable, Panda. He was going out to do something reckless and stupid and cause mischief with my idiot brother.” Regulus scoffed, glad they had the room to themselves so he could find comfort in his best friend. He couldn’t see himself letting anyone else so close to him as Pandora had become. She stroked through his hair, she held him, she listened to him, and was genuinely kind to him when no one else had ever been. She was safe. He was safe with her.
“But he chose to stop causing trouble and spend time with you, didn’t he?” She pointed out, enjoying how her friend complained about something most people would swoon for. She couldn’t comprehend why he felt the situation was hopeless, but she knew he had his reasons for thinking so. James clearly liked him, and she had been hearing about his feelings for James for years now, this was the best hope she thought the situation had ever had.
“He did.” Regulus agreed in a sigh. “Somehow, for some reason, he did.”
“Probably because he likes you, Reg.” She whispered as if it was a secret, when clearly James was trying his hardest not to make it a secret.
“Don’t be absurd.” He huffed, shoving her a bit from where he rested against her side.
–
"He got up, and stormed off, like I'd insulted him, Moons, I don't get it!" James sighed and threw himself against the back of his chair. He was sitting with Remus in the library, across the table from the boy, who was actually reading and writing notes.
Remus sighed, clearly he wasn't getting his Ancient Runes work done today. Putting his quill into the inkwell in front of him and looking up at James. "Look, you're probably being too direct for him. He's a Black, they come with a lot of emotional baggage." He spoke from experience, remembering how much Sirius had told him about their lives and how Remus had connected the dots between his behaviors and his experiences.
"I'm good with his emotional baggage! I was good with Sirius', wasn't I?" James didn't understand what he was doing wrong. He and Sirius had always stuck together like magnets, north to south. With Regulus, he felt a similar magnetism, but as soon as they were close enough, Regulus acted as if they were matching poles, forced apart by their very natures.
"I know you know this, but you aren't acting like it, so I'm going to tell you. Regulus and Sirius are very different people."
It was James' turn to roll his eyes. "I did figure that out, thanks."
"Think of it this way. It's like… what they say about cats. Let them come to you, don't startle them. They have their ways, and they don't like to be pushed into anything else."
“So… you’re saying I should treat him like a cat?” James asked, his head tilted to the side.
“I wouldn’t exactly kneel down and go ‘pspsps’ to get his attention, but just mind his space and let him decide what he wants to do.” Remus snickered.
“I hate that idea, but I’ll try it.” James sighed, it all seemed so hopeless.
"You picked him, you can't be upset when he acts like himself. Have some patience, it'll pay off. If he didn't want your attention, you'd know it by now." Remus was certain Regulus would have no problem showing James exactly how he felt if this affection was unwanted. But that just didn't seem to be the case.
"Sure, okay. Oh- hey- wait-" James' attention left Remus instantly as soon as he saw a familiar slender frame blur past behind him. "Regulus!" He called, trying to get his attention, but still quiet enough to be appropriate for a library.
Remus watched his friend stumble out of his chair and directly ignore all of his advice.
Regulus turned at the sound of his name against his better judgment.
“Potter.” He acknowledged the other boy without any emotion in his voice.
“Am I allowed to sit with you today, or are you expecting company?” James asked, smiling warm and bright as he wasn’t even planning on catching Regulus twice in one day, this was complete coincidence, and he felt so lucky.
“I’m not expecting company, but that doesn’t mean you have an open invitation.”
“Doesn't it though?”
"No. It doesn't. Can't you keep bothering Lupin?" Regulus tried his hardest to sound disinterested, but his small amused smile betrayed him.
“Remus is good company, but not nearly as nice to look at.” James’ charming smile grew brighter when he saw Regulus’ own face struggle to keep his smile back.
“Completely uncalled-for, Prongs.” Remus called to him, shutting his book louder than was necessary before leaving the library, followed by irritated shushes as he went.
“Might have to apologize for that one later.” James grimaced, watching as Remus left. “What are we studying? When you're done, we can practice for our Quidditch match tomorrow.” James’ grimace quickly melted into an eager smile.
“The captain of the opposing team helping me train would cause suspicion.” Regulus shook his head, taking his normal seat at his normal table. “That, and I'm not sure what help we could be to each other. If you were any good at Seeker, you wouldn't be a Chaser.”
“But you aren't turning me down because you don't want to train with me.” James had always been good at finding the silver lining in storm clouds, and trying to woo Regulus had him using that skill quite often.
Regulus let out a heavy sigh. “No. I'm turning you down because there's no point in training with you, we have completely different skills and are on rival teams.” He said as if it was obvious, looking down at the books he'd brought with him to avoid James’ gaze. “I do have actual work to do, if you're finished staring at me like a lunatic.”
“Reggie, my darling, I'll never be finished staring at you, you should know that by now.” James grinned, leaning forward on the table to rest his head on his hand propped up by his elbow.
“You're ridiculous.” Regulus rolled his eyes, absently flipping through the textbook he'd intended to study from.
“That really doesn’t sound like an insult coming from you. But what about just a fun race around the pitch then?” James suggested, desperately wanting to spend some kind of time with Regulus where they were each having fun doing something they both shared an interest in - flying.
“You think you’d beat a Seeker in a race? Racing the opposing Seeker is half of what I do.” Regulus wasn’t afraid of a challenge, especially one he knew he could win. He looked up at James with an eyebrow raised and confidence in his eyes.
“Well, come on then! Show me!” James gestured toward the door, wondering if Regulus would take him up on this offer.
“I did come here with the intention to work, you know that don’t you? I don’t have time to indulge you in your childish whims.” Regulus looked back at the book in his hands, but a hint of a smile remained on his lips.
“You love my childish whims!” James protested. “You really don’t want to?”
“My sincerest apologies, Potter. You’ll have to lose to someone else. Again, if you want to bother Lupin, I’m sure he’d love to beat you at wizarding chess for the hundredth time.” Regulus shrugged. He would honestly enjoy racing around with James, seeing him with his wild hair windblown and his cheeks flushed. He did have to work on his assignments, however, and if he let his grades show any sign of slipping, he would answer for it when he got home.
James didn’t seem to let that get him down, though there was a flash of disappointment across his features that quickly melted away. “Next time, then. When you have less work to do.”
“Next time.” Regulus agreed, thinking there was no way that James would follow through with that. There was no chance he would even still be chasing after him by the time ‘next time’ came around.
“I know you’re busy, I know you’ve got a lot going on, and that there’s a lot of pressure on you, but it’s okay to have fun sometimes. Life is short, but it’s long enough to enjoy things, too.” James reminded him softly before his tone changed again. “What are we working on, then? You never said. Are you taking me up on the Transfiguration study date?” He grinned once again.
Regulus pondered that for a moment. He was sure James would’ve left, but in the back of his mind he’d known it wouldn’t be so simple to get the boy to leave when they were alone together. He felt the hint of a smile show on his features before he got a hold of himself again. Maybe he could study with James, if he could make himself focus on anything other than the boy sitting beside him.
“Yes,” He nodded, answering before he was sure of his response. “Yes, I am.”
James certainly hadn’t been expecting that, all of his features lit up in surprise. “Perfect! Let’s see what you’re on.” He leaned over to look at Regulus’ textbook and notes
–
James cheered with his teammates as they walked onto the field. He was captain of his team and he had to make sure everyone was in high spirits for the match ahead, their final game against Slytherin.
He caught a glimpse of the other team’s Seeker as he came out onto the field and reminded himself that even if the other team won, it wouldn’t be a total loss. He would still get to celebrate Regulus and his victory after the game. He was a very talented Seeker, James had always thought so. He was the main reason the Slytherin team beat them when they would play against each other. The Gryffindor Seeker couldn’t keep up with him, James had made the comment several times that if he could ever steal Regulus for his own team, he would jump at the chance.
The game was played as normal, James was making sure they kept the lead until they saw the Snitch. He could make sure they got as many points as possible and just hope and pray that their Seeker would somehow be able to beat Regulus for a change.
Completely normal, until James felt a blinding pain on the side of his body that knocked him completely off balance. A Bludger had come seemingly out of nowhere, and he hadn’t noticed until it hit him. He was victim to gravity then, falling from the sky quick like a stone. He wasn’t sure when he lost consciousness, but he was certain everything had gone black before he ever touched the ground.
He wasn’t sure how long had passed, but it was dark when he woke up in the hospital wing. His glasses were on the table beside him, but with the roaring headache he had, he wasn’t eager to put them on just yet. He felt his side ache with the healing bones, and looked down to find the bruised skin exposed. When he looked around, he did find a familiar head of dark hair at his bedside, leaned forward and seemingly asleep.
“What was that, Pads? A Bludger? I need a new Beater if you’re going to keep this up.” James groaned, his voice was scratchy and his throat dry. “Sirius?” He tried again when the blurry head of hair he saw didn’t pay him any attention.
A moment passed, and the person beside him sat upright, running a hand through his hair and stretching his arms up above his head. “Not Sirius. Try again.”
“Regulus? You’re here with me?” James smiled, any irritation he felt for the older Black left him entirely. Regulus had come to his bedside when he was injured. He cared that James had been hurt.
“You fell out of the sky after being hit directly with a Bludger. Yes, I came to make sure you survived it. I had to fight off everyone else trying to stay. Pomfrey said you could only have one guest past a certain hour, and Sirius was set on it being him. Remus, however, convinced him otherwise rather easily. Don’t really want to know what was promised to him for that.”
“You’re here with me.” James said with a wide smile, not able to look away from Regulus.
“You must’ve hit your head harder than she thought you did. Yes, James, I’m here. Even though any of your adoring fans would love to be the one at your bedside, it’s me. If you’d rather, I can get my brother.” Regulus crossed his arms over his chest, realizing that maybe James would’ve preferred Sirius, or really anyone else, and that him being the one to stay had been a massive assumption on his part. And a massive tell for how he really felt for James.
“No, no, I’m really glad it’s you.” James had a drunk look on his face, his smile wide and dopey. “How long have I been out?”
“It’s been a few hours, eight total, I think. Madam Pomfrey gave you something to keep you asleep so you wouldn’t feel as much pain as your bones mended themselves. You broke a few ribs with the Bludger hit, and when you hit the ground, your collar bone broke with them, but someone did slow your fall from the audience, so it could’ve been much worse.” Regulus remembered every second of James’ fall as if it were hours. He remembered the cold grip of fear in his chest, and how quickly he made the choice to dive down to try and catch James on his own broom, but from his distance, he didn’t make it in time. He was grateful to whoever did manage to slow his fall enough to lessen his injuries.
“You’ve been sitting here with me for eight hours?” James was in shock. He knew he would’ve broken some bones, he felt them crack when the Bludger made impact, so the only real surprise to him was that Regulus stayed by his side for the whole time.
“I did bring a book, Potter. It’s been a good quiet space to read, mostly. But yes, I’ve been here.” Regulus looked away when he admitted that he’d been waiting at James’ bedside for him to wake up. “Now that I know you’re alive, and no more brain-damaged than you were before, I can go back to my own bed.”
“No! No, stay with me. I’ll make room for you, if you want to be in bed. I bet you could take the bed next to mine, too, and no one will say anything.” James grimaced as he scooted over the best he could to show Regulus he could make space for him.
“I’m not getting into bed with you, especially not while you’re injured. I’m not going to be the one to ruin Madam Pomfrey’s work just because you wanted a cuddle.” Regulus got into the bed beside James, laying on his side so he could still look at the other from across the open space between them.
“Maybe next time then. Maybe when I’m fully recovered, I’ll get my cuddle.” James grinned, Regulus had even said the word cuddle.
“Maybe.” Regulus said through a yawn, not wanting to agree, but also not wanting to give James the impression that he wasn’t interested in the idea.
“That’s the closest to a yes I ever thought I’d get, I’ll take it.” James saw how tired Regulus was and he couldn’t believe that he had stayed the night in the hospital wing, not even in a bed, but at his side, just because he’d been injured. James didn’t get a witty reply as Regulus drifted off almost as soon as his head hit the pillow.
“...my brother still doing here? He wasn't hurt.” Regulus could vaguely hear Sirius’ voice pull him from sleep.
“He wasn't feeling well. That's all.” James made up an excuse. Interesting.
“He's sick? And they had him next to you? Sorry for your loss, Prongs, Reg isn't great company these days.” Rude.
“No, it's okay. He's not you, that's for sure.” James wasn't standing up for him. Regulus shouldn't be surprised.
“Too right, you are.” He heard Sirius huff.
“It wasn't all bad, though. He was sleeping most of the time.” So his company was tolerable because he was unconscious? Good to know.
“Right, sure, well I have to run to class. Wormy said he'd check in on you later if Pomfrey allows. Otherwise it'll be Moony, everyone knows she has a soft spot for him. Can't really blame her for it. Don't die, don't move, I want you out of the hospital wing by tonight. The Gryffindor party tomorrow won't be the same without you.” A party. Even more interesting. Regulus was forming a plan.
“I'll be fine, I'll be there.” James said dismissively.
“You will be there. And don't talk to my brother too much. He might call you a blood traitor or something for fancying a Muggle born girl.” Sirius said it like he was trying to joke but it just didn't land.
James gave a nervous laugh, then all Regulus heard were footsteps as Sirius walked away.
–
James was allowed to go back to his normal routine the next day. He was welcomed back to Gryffindor tower like a lost hero.
“Alright, lads,” he began, addressing his fellow Marauders. “Tonight we celebrate. Spread the word. Party in Gryffindor tower.” He grinned wide. He felt invincible, he wanted to throw an amazing party to celebrate their near victory over Slytherin and his quick recovery. It made sense to do it as soon as possible, he'd already lost valuable time with his stay in the hospital wing.
And with his direction, Gryffindor threw yet another incredible party. James milled about, chatting and laughing and occasionally dancing. He was drinking as he went. He worked his way through the crowd of guests trying to find one person in particular.
“I don't see what we're doing here.” Barty grumbled, his hands shoved in his pockets. Regulus had a scheme, a plot up his sleeve, and he needed Barty to be part of it. He had stolen Pandora and Barty from Ravenclaw for the evening and taken Evan and Dorcas from his own house. He needed his entire group with him if he was going to this party.
“You know exactly what we’re doing here, I’ve explained it three times.” Regulus sighed, he had a very specific and set plan for the night ahead and Barty was a key player.
“Alright, but it isn’t as if you have to go through all this to get Potter’s attention. You have his attention.”
“It’ll work for what I want to happen tonight. He’s already drinking, it’ll be quick and easy.” Regulus shrugged, he knew James was already interested, but he wanted to push him into making a real move on him.
He tugged Barty into plain sight, standing much closer to him than he ever had. Barty certainly didn’t mind. They’d had their share of entanglements in the past, but Barty was never the one for him, he never made him feel the way James did. Regulus leaned against Barty’s chest, looking up at him and watching as Barty gave him a predatory grin. Barty cupped Regulus’ cheek, pulling him in closer. Regulus had his hands on Barty’s hips, feeling his protruding hip bones against his own abdomen with how close they were.
James had been waiting all night for Regulus to arrive, and as soon as he had, the first time James saw him, he was in the middle of the common room with who? Crouch?! He knew they weren’t together, he didn’t exactly feel like he was intruding when he approached their seemingly intimate moment with the intention of interrupting them.
“Reg! You made it! Finally.” James called, a new drink in his hand and his own in the other. “I see you brought your friends. Crouch, good to see you again.” James nodded at Barty, hoping he sounded at least slightly genuine as he hated that Barty had his hands all over Regulus. “Brought you a drink, Reggie.”
“He’s a bit busy, Potter.” Barty said. Regulus was leaning back fully against Barty and pressing his hips into the taller boy.
“Yeah, I can see that.” James had a harder time hiding his dislike for Barty when he'd been drinking.
Barty put his hands on Regulus’ hips. He knew Evan was watching them, but they'd all discussed this prior, they'd all agreed to play along.
“Move along, then, I'm sure you can find your own dance partner.” Barty shooed him away, pulling Regulus back against him possessively.
“Shut it, Crouch,” James hated that he snapped, but the alcohol had control of his language, it seemed. He had tried to be patient with Barty since he was Regulus’ friend but his fuse was much shorter tonight.
“Jamie.” Regulus purred, not pulling away from Barty at all. “Do you want me?” He asked, an eyebrow quirked upwards in his curiosity.
James’ mouth went dry. Jamie? He both hated and loved this situation now.
“Yes. Yes. Yeah. I do.” He stammered, trying to fix his jaw that had gone slack.
Regulus pulled away from Barty. He pulled James’ red and gold tie to bring him closer. “Act like it. Kiss me.”
James’ eyes went wide and he looked around them. “Reggie, half our years are here. That's not… that doesn't seem like a good idea.” He shook his head.
Regulus frowned and dropped James’ tie. “You're so bold in private. I thought you were supposed to be brave at heart.” He said with a tight jaw. His arms were crossed over his chest and the look he gave James was icy cold.
“I like you, Reggie, I want you, I want to kiss you. I just don't want our first kiss to be like this.” James groaned, wishing his head was clearer.
Regulus’ heart warmed at that. James wasn't rejecting him, he wasn't ashamed of him, he was trying to make the moment romantic. It almost made up for how he didn't stand up for him in the hospital wing. Not entirely though.
Regulus leaned back against his friend, he couldn't help but feel rejected, even if James had good intentions. James always had good intentions. “Then you can't act as if I'm yours. You can't come over here and interrupt when I'm dancing with someone else.”
James’ drunk mind swam with the strangely possessive feeling he had for Regulus and his inability to act on it. He went over his options in his mind briefly, not really thinking through the consequences of each one when he made his choice.
He pulled Regulus away from Barty with a hand on his waist. He was going with his first choice, what he'd really wanted to do, what he'd been wanting to do for weeks now. He brought his other hand to Regulus’ face, looking into wide gray eyes, he leaned closer and closed the distance between them with a kiss.
He wasn't really aware of their surroundings from that moment on. His mind was hazy to begin with, after how he'd been drinking all night. He could hear distant whistles and cheers, but overall nothing could break his focus on the person in his arms.
That is, until that person is forcibly removed from his arms and their first kiss is broken too soon.
“What the fuck has gotten into you?” Sirius demanded, shoving James back and standing between them. He glared at his younger brother, while James watched Regulus with adoration. “What did you put in his drink? What potion is he under?” Sirius’ tone was cold, and his jaw was tight, the party seemed to quiet around them.
“Sirius.” James sounded offended on Regulus’ behalf. “Stop. He hasn't done anything.”
“And now you're lying to me for him?” Sirius spun around to face his friend. “I knew he'd been looking at you, talking to you too much lately. Now I know why. He's using you. Which is low, even for you, Reg. What good could this possibly serve?” Sirius spat his demanding words at his little brother, a fire lit in his chest before Remus came to pull him back a few steps. He hoped to avoid an actual fight breaking out between the two.
“Even for me?” Regulus grit his teeth. He knew his brother hadn't thought very highly of him lately, but he didn't think it was so bad that he would think Regulus would use James for anything. That James couldn't ever honestly be interested in him. “I haven't done anything, your precious best friend has been chasing after me, not the other way around. If anything, I've tried to turn him away, and he just won't leave!” He raised his voice just slightly with Sirius, not thinking that his words might affect James. He seemed to forget he had an audience at that moment.
“Oh.” He heard James distantly, his own heartbeat thundered in his ears, his own hurt was all he could focus on, James was at the back of his mind. At the sound of his voice, Regulus turned to see his face had fallen.
James stood in front of the Black brothers and felt something he hadn't in a while, something he hadn't felt since he'd stopped flirting with Lily. Rejection. He knew he was feeling it too intensely at the moment thanks to the alcohol in his system, but that knowledge did nothing to quiet the feeling.
He pulled himself together like he always did and smiled, though it didn't quite reach his eyes. “Yeah, he's right. I chased him down, and he kept turning me away. You know how I am, Pads.” He laughed, clapping Sirius on the back to try and solidify the image that he was just laughing along with the situation. “Stubborn. Not great at taking no for an answer, that's me.” His voice lost its confidence little by little as he spoke. “I'm sure I've had too much tonight. I'll just head up early. Don't be angry with him. He didn't do anything wrong. That's all me.” He started walking away from the little group towards the staircase, everyone stepped aside for his exit. The party had certainly calmed with Sirius’ outburst.
“You,” Remus interjected finally, not exactly sober but still willing to help defuse the situation, he pointed at Sirius, “You go sit down and drink some water. And you,” he pointed to Regulus, “Go fix that.” He then moved his gesture to point Regulus to the stairs James had disappeared up moments prior. His words were firm, if a bit slurred, Sirius didn't disobey.
Regulus didn't need to be told twice to leave his brother in favor of finally being the one to chase after James. He took the steps by two.
“James?” He called through the closed dorm room door.
He heard footsteps before the door opened just slightly. He saw James’ smile, trying so hard to convince anyone and everyone that nothing could hurt him.
“Hey, Reg, I should say I'm sorry about earlier. I had a few too many, shouldn't have kissed you.” He started, barely able to look at Regulus.
“Stop. I asked you to. I wanted you to.” Regulus interrupted him firmly.
“You told Sirius-”
“I told Sirius that I had tried to turn you away, not that I wanted you to leave. I knew he would be dramatic and hateful about this and I didn't want to cause a fight between you. I also didn't think you would actually kiss me because I didn't think you would actually have feelings for me.” Regulus spoke quickly, his tone still firm, his words genuine and true.
“I've told you how I feel about you!” James said with an exasperated laugh, not understanding the confusion.
“Pardon me for not believing you at your word- someone known for pranking Slytherins!”
Well, that did make some sense, James thought. He supposed he'd never considered it from Regulus’ perspective.
“This isn't a prank, Reg. I've never meant anything more in my life.” James looked Regulus in the eye the best he was able, with Regulus trying to avoid eye contact entirely. He wanted him to feel the sincerity of his words and know there was no possible way this was all just a prank.
“I believe you now, don't worry, I doubt you would've kissed me like that in front of all your friends if you didn't mean it.” Regulus breathed a nervous laugh as he finally met James’ gaze. The relief he felt when James finally gave him a genuine smile flowed through him.
James let out a laugh that seemed to release all the tension that was in his body. “That would’ve just been cruel for both of us.”
He let a moment pass between them, barely hearing the sounds of their breaths over the joy coursing through him.
“Can I take you out this weekend? I can show you a cool secret entrance into Hogsmeade.” James said with a smirk, hoping that would make it more enticing.
“Yes, you can. I need to see how you seem to get away with everything with some quick escape.” Regulus scoffed.
James laughed, “It’s a date then. And for every date I’ll show you another way around the castle. Then, once you’re in love with me, I’ll show you how I find out where professors are so I never get caught.”
Regulus wasn’t used to this sort of undivided attention and affection, so he was struggling to find the right comeback to derail James a bit, as he wanted to enjoy the feeling for a moment longer. “Eventually, then. I’ll look forward to it.”
“So will I.”