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Mydei gripped the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles were starting to turn white, brows furrowed in concentration. He shot a glance at the passenger seat, where Phainon was slumped over, gritted his teeth, and stepped on the gas.
“M-Mydei…”
He glanced over again and clicked his tongue in frustration, pushing the pedal further. The car surged forward, speed rising until it skirted just beneath the speed limit. “Hold on. We’ll be there soon.”
Phainon’s breathing was ragged, his face drained of color as his clammy hand tightened around the seatbelt strapped across his chest. “Y-You don’t need to go so fast,” he rasped then yelped as the car swerved into an intersection, his complexion paling further. He swallowed. “I don’t think it’s that serious. I’m fine—”
And as if the universe itself was calling his bluff, a sharp stab of pain cut through him. He gasped, one hand flying to his stomach as he curled further into his seat, cold sweat dripping from his temple.
Seeing that, Mydei practically ran a red light. “Shut up.”
Phainon answered with a pained groan, eyes closed as he breathed out, trying—and failing—to ease the ache.
Mydei had never been this worried in his life. He should’ve known better than to believe in Phainon’s reassurances when he had a terrible habit of hiding his pain, brushing off his own suffering as if it was nothing. Though he was worried, a part of him was angry as well. He thought they were past hiding things in an attempt not to burden the other. He trusted Phainon to speak up if something was wrong. And now, here they were. If it was any other time, Mydei would’ve scolded him but—
Another pained groan resounded.
Mydei’s stomach twisted painfully at the sound, his lower back ached at how tense he was but he ignored it. This wasn’t about him. One of his hand left the steering wheel to grab Phainon’s, squeezing it in an attempt of comfort. “Just hold on, we’ll be there soon.”
If Mydei was correct, then this had started more than half a year ago.
Phainon gripped the toilet seat and hurled.
Mydei winced as he tried to prevent gagging at the sound.
When it stopped, Phainon stayed there, breathing through his mouth. His stomach still rolled like it wasn’t done, but at this point he was heaving nothing but saliva. He wiped his mouth with shaking hands, giving himself a bit more time just in case he still had something to throw up.
“Are you sure this isn’t anything else?” Mydei asked, leaning against the bathroom doorframe, a glass of water in his hand. “We should go to the hospital to get you checked out.”
Phainon closed his eyes and shook his head, feeling weak. “No, I think I just ate something bad at work,” he groaned out as he used every bit of energy he could muster to stand up. He flushed the toilet and went to the sink to brush his teeth and get rid of the lingering taste of bile.
“You threw up yesterday, as well.” Mydei pressed his lips together in fine line, clearly disagreeing.
Seeing that, Phainon let out a soft laugh, walking past Mydei but not before giving a quick peck on his lips as he grabbed the glass of water and took a drink, the water giving him a much needed refresh.
“Don’t worry!” Phainon insisted as he sat himself on the bed. “I’m sure it’s nothing bad and I’ll be better tomorrow so let’s go to sleep, come on.” He patted the spot on the bed beside him and merely beamed as Mydei stared at him, completely skeptical.
Mydei sighed in resignation.
The next morning, Mydei announced, “That’s it. We’re going to the Hyacine’s.”
Before Phainon could protest, a sudden wave of nausea hit him, and he doubled over, retching again.
“Well…” Hyacine trailed off. She stared at the results in her hand, brows knitting with concern. “The results don’t show anything wrong.”
Phainon shot Mydei an i-told-you-so look.
Mydei rolled his eyes at him and sighed in exasperation. “If it’s nothing, he wouldn’t be puking his guts everyday.”
Hyacine set the results aside and held her chin, staring at Phainon again who merely tilted his head. “You mentioned experiencing dizziness as well, right?”
“And he’s been feeling tired. I’ve been catching him yawn too many times lately and he hasn’t accompanied me to the gym for a while. The other day, he was complaining about a headache.” Mydei added, ignoring Phainon’s glare.
“I’ve just been tired at work. We’re opening up a new exhibit in the museum and it’s been a rush handling the logistics.” Phainon explained before Mydei could add anything else. If he let Mydei continue, he would end up confined.
“I see…” Hyacine nodded. “For now, let’s monitor the situation. It’s possible that this is just due to stress. I’ll prescribe you something that’ll help with the nausea. Just make sure to drink plenty of fluids and get enough rest, okay?”
"Thanks, Hyacine.” Phainon grinned.
Days passed and Phainon seemed to be feeling much better, much to Mydei’s relief. Phainon rarely ever got sick so when he did, he never quite knew how to react. This time, it appeared his worry had been for nothing. Good.
In any case, he had eventually written it off and moved on because now, Mydei had another thing to worry about.
He placed a hand on his hip.
“You want what now?” Mydei asked incredulously.
Phainon smiled as he sat on the kitchen counter. “Spicy ice cream.”
“Right… that’s what I thought you said,” Mydei nodded absentmindedly. He paused. “And what does that include? Are we talking about ice cream with chili peppers?”
Phainon rolled his eyes, swinging his feet back and forth. “No, that’s gross. Put hot sauce in it instead.”
Mydei stared at him, then at the bowl of ice cream mixture he was making, and back again at Phainon.
“Hot sauce,” he deadpanned.
Phainon nodded, phantom tail wagging.
Mydei opened his mouth to speak but changed his mind.
“Okay.”
Phainon suddenly jump off the counter, starting Mydei a bit.
Mydei knit his brows together. “Where are you going?”
Phainon fidgeted a bit. “I need to pee,” he whined as he shuffled out the open kitchen towards the bathroom.
“Again?”
Phainon froze mid-step. “Did I? Well, I need to go again.”
Mydei grimaced. “I didn’t need to know that.”
“Well, you asked!” Phainon yelled, voice faint through the door.
Mydei shook his head in resignation and went back to the bowl. “Right, time for spicy ice cream.” He reached for the hot sauce and the sharp smell hit him harder than expected. His stomach churned at the thought of how this was going to taste. He really should stop enabling Phainon.
Mydei gingerly took a spoonful of ice cream and swallowed it, surprise coloring his face.
“This…actually tastes good.”
“Right?!” Phainon, who was in his third serving, nodded in agreement. “Hmm…maybe you have something going on with the chili peppers. We should try that next time.”
Mydei looked at Phainon in disgust, swallowing another spoonful. He wasn’t going to admit it but at that moment, the chili peppers did sound pretty good.
Phainon hurried through the door, fuming. He threw his coat at the rack, it slipped off and crumpled to the floor. Grabbing the door, he tried to slam it shut but before he could, a hand caught the edge and tried to push it open
“Will you stop this?” a voice called out from behind the door.
“No!” he shot back, giving it one last shove before letting go. He spun and stormed toward the bedroom. Behind him, the door banged open as Mydei stepped inside.
“Stop following me!” Phainon yelled,his anger flaring as footsteps dogged his own. He entered the bedroom and dropped onto the edge of the bed, turning his face away.
Mydei entered the room with a frustrated sigh. “You’re being irrational,” he pointed out, struggling to keep his temper in check.
Phainon merely closed his eyes, refusing to look at him. Mydei could only stare in disbelief. They rarely fought, and when they did, it was never over something as nonsensical as this.
Mydei closed his eyes, inhaling deeply before asking his question. “Why would you think I’m cheating on you with Castorice?!”
The mere mention of the name sent a surge of anger through him. Phainon snatched up a pillow and hurled it, smacking Mydei square in the face. “Don’t even mention her name right now!”
“Wha—?”
“Don’t even lie.” Phainon continued, standing up to face Mydei. “It’s because I’m fat, isn’t it?” he accused, his voice trembling, eyes taking on a shiny sheen.
Mydei spluttered.
Out of all the explanations, that was not even part of the list Mydei had expected. He couldn’t even fathom the words Phainon and fat in the same sentence. Not that it would matter. If Phainon were fat, he would love him just the same—but he wasn’t.
As the designated chef, he always made sure their meals were well-balanced and nutritious. They went to the gym twice a week, sometimes more if their schedule allowed it. They were both active people with Phainon even waking up early on weekends for a morning jog while Mydei preferred to sleep in.
So, how could Phainon possibly believe he was fat? And worse, that it would drive Mydei to cheat on him? He wasn’t even going to touch upon the absurdity of Phainon thinking he could cheat on him in the first place and with Castorice of all people.
It seemed that Mydei took too long to respond and Phainon didn’t take the silence well. He suddenly collapsed onto the bed, as if all his strength had drained away. Tears glimmered in the corner of his eyes, threatening to fall.
Mydei’s jaw slackened. “P-Phai—”
“You don’t love me anymore.” Phainon said in quiet declaration, his voice hollow as tears finally escaped, streaming down his face.
Mydei opened his mouth to respond but the thought made the room tilt slightly. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before letting it out in a quiet sigh. This argument might be ridiculous but ridiculous or not, he would never allow Phainon to believe he didn’t love him. Mydei immediately knelt beside the bed, gently taking Phainon’s trembling hands on his own.
“Phainon…” he murmured. “Look at me.”
Phainon shook his head, turning it away. “I’m sorry…I don’t know why I’m feeling like this. I understand if you—” he hiccuped “—if you leave me for someone else…"
“No,” Mydei said firmly, tilting Phainon’s chin up so their eyes met. “I’m sorry.”
Phainon blinked in surprise.
“I love you. Always.” Mydei said, his voice steady, eyes resolute.He brushed the tears from Phainon’s cheeks, his thumb lingering gently. “When we got married, I vowed to love you every day for the rest of our lives. Since then, there isn’t one single day that I haven’t loved you. And if, for whatever reason, I’ve made you feel otherwise, then I’m sorry...I’ll do better.”
Phainon trembled. He lifted his hands as if to hug him, but he hesitated and ended up clutching unto Mydei’s shirt.
“We got married so long ago,” he whispered. “Haven’t I changed? Haven’t you met other people since then?”
Mydei took hold of Phainon’s hands and gently guided them around his waist. Then he wrapped his own arms around him in return.
“No…” he said quietly. “You still give me good-morning kisses before you brush your teeth. You still eat whatever food I cook, even if it’s deliberately bad and you complain about it. You still wear that ugly yellow sweater and purple pants together even though it drives me insane. And—”
Mydei paused, swallowing to steady the tremble in his voice. Their treasured memories replayed in his mind, each moment flickering softly—warm laughter, quiet conversations, and the gentle comfort of being together. All of it reminded him just how much he loved Phainon—how much he loved being together with him and the life they built, through the ups, downs, and all the different turns life threw into their way.
So, hearing all these doubts made his chest ache. He would make sure Phainon could cast them all away.
Mydei tightened his hold around Phainon and continued, “And every time you think I don’t notice, you still look at me like I’m the best thing that ever happened in your life.” His breath hitched at the thought as he finished. “No. You haven’t changed at all.”
Phainon’s grip on his shirt tightened, lips trembling.
“And as for your second question…” Mydei rested his chin lightly on Phainon’s head. “Of course, I’ve met other people. We’ve lived too long not to. But Phainon…” He let out a quiet breath. “None of them could possibly compare to you.”
He felt Phainon tremble faintly between his arms so he gave him a reassuring squeeze before loosening his hold just enough to press their foreheads together. Mydei looked straight into Phainon’s eyes.
“Never ask me again if there’s someone else,” he said, voice rougher. “I don’t want anyone else. I never did. I never will.”
“And stop asking if you’ve changed,” Mydei murmured, leaning closer until their breaths mingled. “Because even if you have…I’d still choose you.”
Phainon stared at him with an indecipherable expression and for a moment Mydei thought he got through him, then Phainon let out words that sent a sinking feeling in his guts.
“Mydei…Will you let me go?”
“What…?” Mydei uttered, voice trembling in shock. He shook his head vehemently, heart beating hard against his chest as he pulled Phainon to his chest, tightening his embrace. He could feel Phainon struggling against his hold.
“How could you ask that of me? I could never let you go. Phainon, just let me know what I did wrong and I—”
With one last push, Phainon managed to separate himself. Immediately, he stood up and Mydei thought his heart stopped beating. Was Phainon really going to leave him like this?
“Phai—”
“I need to pee.”
Mydei’s teeth clacked together from how fast he snapped his mouth shut. He blinked. Once. Twice.
Phainon shifted awkwardly before hurrying to the bathroom. Mydei could only follow helplessly and watched as the door shut closed to his face with a loud thud.
Later that night, Mydei found himself restlessly staring at the ceiling as he lay flat on his back in their bed with Phainon asleep and curled in his arms.
Phainon snuggled closer, letting out a soft satisfied sigh.
“BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You and princess homebody?!”
The next day, just after Phainon left for work, Mydei immediately called and invited Castorice and Cipher in complete desperation to get advice on what has been recently happening.
He was starting to regret it.
Mydei glared at Cipher who was literally rolling in the floor. “I told you something weird is going on with him,” he hissed. Cipher merely continued to cackle in response.
“Why would he think that?” Castorice asked worriedly, a faint blush on her cheeks.
Mydei shrugged and spread his hands helplessly. “I don’t know!”
Cipher wiped away a tear with a finger. “Oh boy…” she said with a sigh, still a little breathless. “I haven’t laughed like that for ages.”
“Are you done?” Mydei grounded out, teeth clenched.
“Nope!”
Mydei ignored that and instead turned to Castorice and answered, “Apparently, he saw us in the bakery too many times.”
“In the bakery…as in, the one you own?” Castorice asked, brows furrowed.
Cipher scrunched her face in confusion . “You mean, where we’ve been working since it first opened.”
Mydei nodded. “So, you see my issue.”
“Huh…” Cipher sprawled herself on the carpet. “Yeah, there’s something wrong with him. Wait—” She sat up, pouting. “How come he doesn’t think you’re cheating with me? I’m also there all the time!”
“I don’t think that’s really important, Cipher.” Castorice said, exasperated.
“Thank you, Castorice.”
"Whatever,” Cipher shrugged, sticking her tongue out in response.
Castorice shook her head. “Anyway, Mydei should you really be inviting us here like this? Especially me.”
Mydei tilted his head. “What do you mean?”
“Well, you just had a big fight—about me, apparently—which is ridiculous—but is it really wise to have me here in your home?”
Mydei blinked. “Actually, I also wanted to discuss about the bakery’s reopening but, you have a good point. We should reschedule.”
Castorice nodded, understanding, and stood up from the couch when the front door opened.
“Mydei, I left my walle—”
Phainon froze half-way through the door as he stared at the living room. He looked at Castorice blankly then at Mydei and silently backed away, closing the door.
Mydei immediately rushed to follow outside. “Wait! Phainon! It’s not what it looks like!”
Cipher, still on the floor, muttered with a frown. “That ass, he didn’t even look at me.”
“Is this really the time?” Castorice asked exasperatedly, folding her arms.
Cipher shrugged.
Castorice shook her head, though a small smile tugged at her lips. “Maybe, Phainon’s pregnant.”
Cipher snorted. “You write too many fanfics, babe.”
Months after everything calmed down, Mydei found himself worrying again. He watched as Phainon shuffled into the living room.
“You okay?” Mydei asked.
Phainon gave a faint smile but wobbled slightly. “I think…yeah. My feet just feel a little sore.”
“You look a little pale, too.” Mydei observed, concern deepening. “Maybe I should call Hyacine.”
Phainon sighed as he sprawled down the couch. “We need to stop bothering her, Mydei. How many times have we gone to her and found nothing.”
“We’ve been together for a long time and I can count on one hand how many times you got sick. Then suddenly, these past few months you’ve been sick on and off?” Mydei ran a hand through his hair. “It’s not normal. I’m worried.”
Phainon smiled softly, chuckling. “I’m fine. Really. Just…a bit achy all over. We’re finalizing the exhibit and a new shipment of artifacts just came so I’ve been hauling boxes all day. Sit with me?”
Mydei sat beside him, lifting Phainon’s legs onto his lap. “If it gets worse…or anything else shows up, promise me you’ll tell me. Don’t try to hide it…please.”
Phainon’s eyes softened as Mydei started massaging his feet.
“I’ll tell you, I promise.”
Weeks later, Mydei strained as he kneaded the dough. His bakery’s renovation was finished and the reopening was a success.
He paused for a bit, stretching his back to alleviate the ache, when his phone lit up.
“M-Mydei…hurry, it hurts!”
And now, they were here.
The car jerked sharply, tires squealing against the road. Mydei’s hands were already white from gripping the steering wheel, but now his heart felt like it had been squeezed even tighter.
“We’re almost there!” he shouted, glancing at the passenger seat. He shifted in his seat, wincing as the ache in his lower back throbbed again.
Phainon’s face was pale, his hands clutching his stomach, sweat gleaming on his forehead. His teeth were clenched, and he let out a sharp, almost strangled cry.
“Mydei…” he gasped. “It… it hurts… so much…”
Mydei tried to ignore the rising panic in his chest. The vomiting, the exhaustion, the dizziness, the change in appetite, the unexplained abdominal pain…all of it. This clearly was not a normal illness.
Something clicked in Mydei’s chest and his stomach dropped.
“No… no, no, no,” Mydei muttered under his breath, eyes scanning the road. “It can’t be… “
He felt tears gather at the corner of his eyes.
Months ago, when this all started, he scoured the internet for answers Hyacine couldn’t provide. In every result, there was one answer that kept repeating. He ignored it thinking of how impossible it could be but now…
Panic clawed up his throat. Mydei pressed harder on the gas.
All these symptoms, it all pointed to that one thing.
.
.
.
Cancer.
The hospital doors burst open.
Mydei didn’t even remember parking the car. One moment he was driving, the next he was carrying Phainon through the entrance like his life depended on it.
“Hyacine!” he shouted, voice echoing through the hall.
She received Mydei’s call earlier and was already waiting. A gurney stood beside her with nurses ready for transport.
“Put him here,” she ordered quickly.
Mydei carefully lowered Phainon to the bed, hands shaking. The moment Phainon was settled, they rushed the gurney down the corridor. Mydei followed closely behind.
He could only watch helplessly. Phainon looked so small on the bed, pale and sweating in pain.
Mydei’s chest tightened painfully.
Please be okay.
He couldn’t lose him.
So, please.
Please…
The room spun slightly. Mydei wiped the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand, his skin feeling strangely hot. He grabbed his lower back, it had been aching since the morning and carrying Phainon must have exacerbated the pain.
Across the room, Hyacine finished examining Phainon, her brows furrowed in confusion.
“I don’t understand…” she muttered. It was the same result as last time. Nothing seemed to be wrong.
Then she turned to Mydei.
And froze.
“Mydei…?” Her eyes widened. “Are you alright?”
He blinked sluggishly. “I…think…so,” he mumbled. Then, something warm trickled between his legs.
That didn’t seem right. Mydei frowned.
Hyacine’s jaw dropped.
Seeing that and hearing Mydei’s name, Phainon pushed himself upright on the bed despite the nurses’ protest. “What? What’s wrong?” he rasped. He followed Hyacine’s gaze and his eyes widened in horror.
“Mydei?!”
Before Mydei could answer, a sharp blinding pain tore through his abdomen.
“—Ah!”
His knees buckled and he collapsed to the floor with a groan.
Hyacine looked from Mydei to Phainon and back again. She recalled several panic texts from Mydei from throughout these past few months and it clicked together in her mind all at once.
“Oh no,” she breathed. Then, she spun toward Phainon and shouted. “Phainon, get up!”
“What—?”
She practically dragged him off the bed. “Mydei’s in labor,” she hissed.
Phainon stared at her blankly. “…What?”
Across the room, Mydei groaned again as another contraction hit.
“Get him on the bed—now!" Hyacine barked orders at the nurses.
Phainon moved automatically, running to Mydei and lifting him onto the hospital bed as if he weighed nothing.
Everything after that happened too fast.
Voices.
Instructions.
Machines.
More shouting.
And then—
A cry.
Sharp, small, and loud.
Now, Mydei slumped back against the pillows, exhausted, hair damp with sweat. Every muscle in his body ached, but he barely noticed it. He blinked down at the tiny bundle in his arms.
Their son.
He slept peacefully between his arms, wrapped in a soft blanket, a tuft of white hair poking from the top, reminisced of a certain someone’s two thick strands of hair standing up.
Mydei looked from the baby then up at Phainon.
White hair.
Blue eyes.
A perfect miniature version of him.
Mydei narrowed his eyes at Phainon who smiled sheepishly, still perched on the edge of the bed with tears welling at the corner of his eyes.
“Mydei…” Phainon whispered, lips trembling. “He…he’s perfect. You’re so amazing.”
Mydei’s lips twitched. He could make a joke about the chaos of the past months, mock him from acting up, tease him—but Phainon did do the heavy lifting of this pregnancy after all. So just this once, he would let it go.
At least, for now.
He reached out and pulled Phainon into a gentle kiss. “He does look perfect, doesn’t he?” he whispered after.
“Thank you… thank you.” Phainon sobbed as he wrapped his arms around both of them. “Mydei, I love you so much. I love our son so much, too.”
Mydei leaned back, eyes closing as he basked in the warmth of his husband’s arms.
“…and to think, I thought you had cancer,” he mumbled as the exhaustion finally caught up and he fell asleep.
Phainon paused and looked at Mydei strangely.
“…What?”