Chapter Text
Sasuke sighs, planting himself under a tree to eat a packed rice ball. A stray black cat bumps his hand, he gives her the chicken from the center of his meal and watches as she eats it. He can hear her purs.
He's 2 years into his journey. He's spent the time on various missions for the Village when Kakashi has them. He communicates with them through hawks. His down time is spent seeking odd jobs to do for free, rebuilding is slow going in most places. He hasn't been back home.
Home.
He sighs when he finishes his meal. He can feel the weight of the letter in his pocket. He reads it, though he's already memorized it.
'Hey you Bastard. Hope your journey is going well, we're all good here. Hinata and I got married, and I really wish you were here for it, everyone missed you, especially Sakura. The other day she compared what you're doing now, watching over the village from the shadows to being in Konaha police force like you wanted to when you were younger. Man, she looked proud, and sad. We all miss you buddy. We both know why you're doing this, but still man… She's waiting.
Always your friend, Uzumaki Naruto'
Sasuke stares at the end of the letter for a long time. After several minutes his eyes start to sting and he realizes he hasn't been blinking. 'What the hell is wrong with you?' he asks himself as he shakes his head and jumps into a tree, heading north. He's only been traveling a few minutes when he stops dead in his tracks.
She's waiting.
Before he knows what his body is doing he turns around and starts heading south, towards the village of his birth, towards all of the bonds he spent most of his life running away from, towards his home.
He arrives a day later, the guards at the gate pretend to not be shocked as he passes the gates. He knows news will spread within the hour. He pauses in the market district. He formed no plan, sent no forward message. He simply got up and started running yesterday.
Where does he go now?
He wanders. He passes new shops and houses quaintly decorated, the new Jonin HQ, and the new updated hospital. He freezes.
Once again his body is acting faster than his mind can process. He's used to this during fights, but there was no threat here. 'What am I doing just standing here?'
Then he feels it. His eyes close, savoring it. He feels like he's under a waterfall on the first day of spring… He basks in it for a moment, not thinking of anything but the overwhelming peace. It's like breathing fresh air for the first time in years.
He opens his eyes, finally gathering his thoughts. ‘Has it always been that… Peaceful?'
He runs towards it, not noticing the Children's Mental Health Clinic sign, not noticing the receptionist shockingly yelling for him to slow down, not noticing the blond woman who gasps, yelling "Sasuke-kun!" He runs until he finds the source of the aura.
There it is. There she is. Pink petals of hair tied up loosely in a ponytail, red sleeveless shirt hugging every curve of her body, a warm loving smile on her face, sparkling pools of emerald with nothing but kindness in them. Yes, there she is, Haruno Sakura bent over soothing a crying child.
She hasn't noticed him yet, so he studies her further. He holds himself back, letting her comfort the child that clung to her legs. She's grown, even since he last saw her. She's 20 now, and every bit a woman… Her body had filled out nicely since he left. Her breasts, though still small, were fuller now, threatening to show cleavage as she bent down. Her face had lost all the roundness of a child and was breathtaking. Her legs… 'No. Stop, what are you thinking?!' He scolds himself.
He doesn't notice when she notices him. Her eyes meet his and his brain goes quiet. He thought her face conveyed love before, but now she smolders with it all over her face. A tear is threatening to roll down her cheek.
And there they stood. Eyelocked but not speaking, not breathing. Just taking each other in, though he was sure his face didn't relay this.
"I'm home, Sakura."
Finally the tear falls and she smiles a smile that makes his heart stop, making every part of his being freeze right there. He's suddenly just like that child, he needs her touch, he wants to break down and sob right there in her arms while she smiles that beautiful smile at him. He says none of this. His face remains neutral.
"Welcome home, Sasuke-kun!" She manages to squeak out. The child she had been comforting looks at the two of them wonderingly. He looks back up at her and pulls on the shorts, trying to gain back her attention.
But she can only see Sasuke now, it's written on her face. All of the loving things she wanted to scream at him, but still neither of them spoke. Neither of them could breathe at all.
The silence is broken when the blond who had recognized him slipped into the room behind Sasuke. He notices now that it was Yamanaka Ino.
She coughs. "Yoki-chan, how about you and I see if there's any chocolate in the vending machine, hm?"
The child beams, forgetting Sakura and runs out of the room with Ino smirking in tail.
It's Sakura who broke the silence, like she always does. Inside he's breaking down, crumbling before her. Why? He doesn't know.
A need he had never been consciously aware of before is surfacing. It makes itself known and with it, the knowledge that it had been there since the Forest of Death.
"How long have you been back?" She says, blushing at the way he must be staring at her.
He immediately looks away, studying a poster on her wall as if it holds all of the secrets he needs to know. Only then can he speak with a steady voice.
"Hn, I got back just now, a couple of minutes ago."
He steals a glance of her and she's blushing, her eyes shocked. 'Shit I just told her she was the first person I came to see.'
"I noticed your chakra on the way to see Kakashi." He offers, because it's true.
'And it made me go slightly insane, so I had to see you before I burst at the seams.' He curses at his thoughts.
Slight disappointment flashes on her face, but she's still blushing, still staring into him. Staring into his very soul.
He let's out the breath he didn't know he was holding.
"I better go see him now, just wanted to let you know that I was back." He shakily whispers. His emotions are starting to sink into his voice. He has to get out of her sight before it overcomes him. He quickly turns around, lifting his hand to say goodbye.
"I have a guest room!" She almost screams.
He freezes and slowly turns and looks at her, letting his confusion onto his face to compel her to explain without actually having to speak.
"It's just. It'll take Kakashi-sensei a few days to get you an apartment, and Naruto just got married though he'd say yes you'd probably feel like you'd be intruding, and you shouldn't have to stay in a hotel in your own village. And I could cook you a home cooked meal, you probably haven't had one of those in a while, and…" Her voice fades, her face is the color of an heirloom tomato as she rambles on.
‘Annoying’ he thinks, but he can feel the smile in the thought.
She grimaces, obviously thinking this too. ‘Adorable.’ His thoughts seem to be completely out of his control now. Must escape.
He realizes she's waiting for him to speak. 'Should say no, I can't control myself today it seems. What is wrong with me?' He shakes his thoughts away, but again he acts without thinking it through.
He slowly walks towards her. She swallows loudly. 'Lovely…' He slowly raises his only arm and taps her on the purple diamond seal on her forehead.
"I'll get the address from Kakashi." He says, something he doesn’t recognize coats his voice. With a half smile creeping on his face, he turns and says "Gotta go."
He tries to walk out of the clinic as calmly as he can, trying not to run away, trying not to run back.
Once he's outside he decides to take the rooftops to the Hokage tower.
He stops on a rooftop across the street from the Hokage's office. His face hurts, he checks in with his body since they seem to be 2 separate entities today. He's smiling, the muscles by his eyes are shaking slightly. Has his smile ever made it that far up?
He collects himself and gracefully leaps to the ground at the base of the tower, sighing.
He's about to open the door when Naruto accidentally hits him with it.
"Oh sorry, man… S-s-sasuke! You bastard when did you get back!?" He busts out a huge grin that covers his entire face. Behind him is the weary looking white-haired Hokage.
"I just arrived, loser."
"Oh! Wait hey…!" Naruto fakes a glare at his best friend, still smiling.
"Sakura will be happy to hear—" the Hokage interjects, a small smile reaching his old, tired eyes.
"I just saw her." Sasuke interrupts him without thought.
His old teacher and best friend both raise their eyebrows and share a suspicious look with each other.
'Shit, what is happening to me?!'
"Anyway Sasuke, I know you're here to report to me, but Naruto and I have an important meeting with the Feudal Lord to get to. We can speak when I get back next week? Do you have somewhere you can stay until I return?" Kakashi informs him pleasantly enough.
"I was supposed to ask you where Sakura lives. She said she had a spare bedroom I could use." Sasuke says, sighing.
'Here it comes' he begrudgingly thinks.
Both the Hokage and his protégé's mouths drop at this. Sasuke rolls his eyes, obviously getting annoyed.
"Yeah sure, it's 4 houses down on the opposite side of the street from her parents. A one story blue western style house. Oh wait—do you even remember where her parents live?"
To this Sasuke nods, trying to keep his face neutral.
"Okay great then you shouldn't miss it!" Naruto smiles another huge grin.
"We've got to get going, Naruto." Kakashi says, ever so patiently.
"Oh right, well see you when we get back! You better still be here, ya Bastard!" Naruto laughs, clamping his prosthetic hand down on Sasuke's shoulder.
"I'll be here. Later." He says, eyes closed and sighing.
He watches them walk away until he can't see them anymore. 'I wonder if she's already home…' He ponders, figuring she freaked out and rushed home the second he left.
He figures he shouldn't keep her waiting any longer and heads towards her house. 'Time to go home..' He thinks, he corrects himself. 'To her home.' He shakes his head as continues down the road.
The house he comes to is a quaint one, much smaller than he had thought, but with a certain charm to it. As he gets closer, he can feel it again. That warm, wonderful feeling of her chakra, her aura. Her.
Karin had always bothered him by saying his chakra was just so delicious she couldn't help but be near him… Is this what she had meant? If so, her clinginess made a little more sense now. He wants to be wrapped up in everything that is Sakura and he isn't even in her presence yet.
Sighing off his feelings, he walks up to the dark blue door and is about to knock when Sakura flings it open. She's smiling wider than Naruto had, and once again as red as a tomato. 'Beautiful' is all his brain can come up with.
"Sasuke-kun! You're here already!" She blurts out before moving aside for him to enter.
"Hn, Kakashi and Naruto had to go meet the Feudal lord so I didn't get to report in." Is all he says.
His first impression of the inside is surprise. It's a beautifully decorated little house. He notices on the other end of the room he had walked into are two lone photos. One is the picture of them as genin all those years ago in team 7. The other is one of her with parents, it looked like one from when she became a chunin.
Sakura closes the door behind as he takes off his shoes gracefully. He takes off his tattered tan travelling cloak, and hands it to her.
"You must be tired, do you want me to show you to your room?" She asks, still blushing.
"I think I'd rather shower first." He says as steadily as he can, still not looking at her.
"Oh! Yeah of course." She stutters and motions for him to follow her.
She stops at the bathroom door. Not realizing how close it would be, and still examining the house, he almost runs into her. Instead he stops so close to her back his chin is touching her hair. They both unknowingly shiver at the contact. She smells like roses and cherries and something that was so just.. Sakura it makes his heart thaw slightly.
She doesn't turn around. They're both frozen again.
Into her hair he breathes "Sakura, thank you." With so much adoration in his voice even he is taken aback by it.
She slowly turns to look at him, shocked and questioning eyes meet his.
"I'm home, Sakura." Is all he adds as he slips around her, his hand just barely brushing her waist. She's still standing there frozen and shocked and so obviously in love when he shuts the bathroom door, a smile on his face again.
Later that night as he lays in the simple guest bedroom of his former teammate he finds himself smiling again.
He can hear her soft snoring in the room next door. He feels the soft pull of her resting chakra, keeping him more at peace than he'd ever thought possible. He drifts into a deeper sleep than he's had in years.
The village was emblazoned with black flames, slowly lighting the scene around him. The air smelt so metallic you couldn't even tell things were burning just feet away. He moved his hand to look at it, it was sticky, covered in dark blood. His entire body was drenched in it. Confused, he quickly checked himself for injuries, finding none.
"Sasuke-ku…" A familiar voice cried at his feet, a whole in her chest, emerald unseeing eyes looking around frantically.
With a thunderclap he snaps awake, gasping and crying. He's had this dream before, and it has always affected him. But this time he's hyperventilating, he can't find his breath, all he can do is cry like a small child.
When his eyes adjust, he sees her standing in the doorway. The look in her eyes could kill him right then and there. She's so incredibly worried for him. Again.
He tries to calm his breathing on his own. He fails. He hangs his head low as he sits, tears fall onto the sheet. He hides in his hair.
“Sorry” he tries but it comes out like the crackling of a fire. His voice is gone, had he been screaming?
“Can I…?” She doesn't finish, he nods without lifting his head.
He feels her weight slowly sink on the bed beside him, feet dangling off the side. Through his hair he can make out a sheer black nighty over back, her cream hand is supporting her weight. She's only 2 inches from touching him.
He closes his eyes, his breath is already coming slower.
“Sorry,” he tries again. It sounds more human now at least.
“You don't ever have to apologize for a nightmare.” She says it with love, like his mother likely once did. It feels wrong. It doesn't help.
“No,” he says. Not the nightmare. He's not sorry for the nightmare, he's sorry that it was almost reality.
She places a tentative hand on his cheek, a part of his brain registers how scary it must be for her to touch him. At best she likely expects rejection, at worst… well at worst is the thing of his nightmares.
He leans into her hand, letting her hold his head and finally looks at her again. Worry is still in her eyes, but so is wonder and yearning. He stares at the face of the girl that has always loved him and has never felt so ashamed or raw.
“I'm sorry, Sakura.” He says it clearly this time. They haven't blinked, their eyes are locked. He closes his eyes and cups the hand on his cheek with the only hand he has. She starts for a moment and when he opens his eyes, she's staring at their hands.
“To be fully in the darkness, there could be no light left.” She's scooting closer as he speaks. Her back is against his leg, testing the waters.
“I'm your light?” She asks, barely a whisper leaving her lips.
Her skin feels impossibly hot against his thigh. Does she have a fever? Is it him?
“I'm sorry,” he says again. He sits to look her squarely in the eye now. Their faces are inches apart. She swallows, looking like she's trying really hard to focus.
“You don't deserve this.” He says, breaking eye contact. He should move further away from her now, he's calmed down.
She scoffs, he looks back at her. She looks… angry? He thinks. ‘Why is she angry?’
“I'm a grown woman Sasuke, I can decide what I deserve.” Her brows furrow and she looks away, back at the door she came in from.
“Don't go, please.” He finds himself pleading. When did his hand grab her shoulder?
He should let her go. She deserves so much better than this, than him. This is why he didn't think of her often on his travels, he would always conclude that he should be pleased to come back and see her happy. See her with a man that could make her happy.
She turns her whole body, sitting on her knees. Her knees are open, her hands splayed out on the bed in front of her. The light coming from the hallways makes her look like an angel in his bed.
“Pretty,” he says because he feels drunk suddenly, like all inhibitions went with the layers of skin that have been rubbed raw off.
The look she gives him tells him that he will never come back to find that another man has made her happy. Every smile she's ever smiled at him is eclipsed in this moment.
Time is a funny thing, sometimes years stretch by in an instant. The darkness and sadness and pain make every second feel like eons, while every moment in between slips through his fingers. This moment stretches on for hours it seems.
It's likely fast, the way his mouth meets hers, but he feels years pass by. Maybe it's years melting away.
Before he can form a coherent thought, she's on his lap. Her knees settle gently beside thighs, he feels heat between them and he tries to ignore it.
His lips had only ever met Naruto's and only ever been used with purpose to speak, seldom were they used for good.
His first true thought is to wonder if she's kissed anyone before. He has no reference, but the way she's hungering for him now is undoing him. She pulls away for breath and he sees her, truly sees her for the first time.
The flush on her cheeks is unashamed, unembarrassed. She's looking at him with certainty. And lust, he realizes. Confidence too.
He traces his hand up her spine through her nightgown, grazing cherry pink locks, and cups her cheek.
“You deserve better,” he gives her an out. He knows he is being undone to simply a man, all higher function is leaving as the seconds tick by. Or is it hours?
I don't deserve you, he doesn't say. He doesn't deserve any of them, not really. Not the dobe's toothy grin or their former teachers' light jests.
He feels shame again, it moved in when the rage left.
She taps her chin, pulling his attention. Sakura hasn't changed that much, he thinks. She moves her hips and the friction is electric. He bites his lip.
“I think you need to listen better,” she says. She smirks and it makes his mouth dry. Her hands rake through his hair, when they find knots she pulls. His head back, jugular exposed, she leans her body against his to whisper in his ear.
“I am a grown woman, Sasuke-kun. I decide what I deserve. I decide what I want.” She kisses the point on his neck that he knows she could easily kill him from. The goosebumps feel traitorous. “I want you.”
And he thinks she means it to sound seductive, but she sounds desperate. Not in the way she did when they were children. She sounds like she's dying and begging for water. Like he has the only thing that could save her.
He feels like he's on fire as she sits up to look at him, her hips move again and he's reminded of Gaara's sand armour chipping away.
“I love you,” she says and she's said it before. She's said it in so many ways but it has never reached him like it does at this moment.
He's not sure which one of them gave more effort to get him on top of her, he doesn't care. They're in a desert and a feast is before them.
She helps him remove her nightgown, leaving her only in a low cut pair of panties below him. She's panting but seems to be more interested in studying him sitting on his knees between her than on being embarrassed.
Her arms have been by her head for a moment, but she lifts them slowly to touch his chest. There's lust in the way her fingers curve and drag her nails on his skin, leaving trails of fire. There's also wonder in her fingers, like she's confirming he's real.
“I'm not sure what to do,” he admits. “I mean I do, but..” the silence hangs for a moment and then she's placing his hand on her breast. It fits perfectly in his hand and her breath hitches when his thumb grazes her nipple.
His previously all but neglected penis throbs, his brain changes. He's no longer a man, he's an animal. A physical embodiment of need.
He bites his lip, thumb still lightly circling her nipple. He knows that he still has the capacity to hurt her (he ignores the thoughts seeping in that doing this at all will hurt her one day). He tries to cage the animal, he bends down and kisses her like she deserves.
His hips have moved as he sank down, two thin cotton layers between them now. He feels wet heat where his body is buzzing, he knows it's from her. She rolls her hips forward sharply, the friction is addictive. He returns a few tentative movements of his hips and she finally rewards him with a moan.
He's up again a moment later ripping the fabric of her panties away. His were to be next, but she's open in front of him and he's entranced.
He scoots back and she almost complains but instead only says “oh!” when he bends down. The last look he gets of her face, he sees that he's finally managed to embarrass her. Her legs close slightly but he's pleased that she allows him to continue.
Pink curls, mauve in the dull light, greet him. He wishes he'd read Kakashi's books. He never anticipated needing training in this area. Sakura notices his pause and reaches her hand out for his without comment.
Her hand is soft and smells of vanilla lotion. She guides hand in front of his face, placing his thumb on the rosebud on top. He presses and moves in a slow circle like he had with her breast and the result is instantaneous.
She back arches and she throws her head back, a sigh mixed with a moan escapes her lips. She's consuming her first sip of water in days. He stops for only a moment and she whines, and he can't stop the chuckle that escapes his lips just before they part.
He spreads her open further and flicks his tongue lightly where his thumb had been. She scoots closer to him without meaning too, desperate for more. Finally, there's something he can do for her, the girl who healed him in so many ways. The girl who loved him.
He pushes his tongue harder against her and moves his head side to side. She's panting and moaning and says his name “Sasuke-kun,” in a voice he's never heard before. He wants to hear it more.
Testing more, he sucks where she's told him to and she pulls his hair, hands knotted at his scalp. She's holding his head down and he's not sure if she's even aware. He smiles, stopping and her hands fly to her breasts as she angrily bucks her hips against his lips.
“Greedy,” he finds himself teasing. He doesn't give her time to respond, his tongue is back, dancing slow circles and a finger is about to enter where he wants to be the most in the world right now.
“Yes, PLEASE, yes more,” She begs, moving her hips down so the tips of his finger enter her without him moving. He pushes the rest of the way in and the rest of his hand is already wet.
Tongue still lazily swirling, he moves his finger in and out, slowly at first but she's moving so much now that he has no choice but to pick up the pace. He wants to bury himself inside of her immediately but also never wants this moment to end.
“More,” She begs again and he adds his pointer finger to his middle. They curl because of the angle, he feels a bulge at his finger tips. He curls them more, experimenting.
Her hands are in her hair, his hair, the bed, pawing at her breasts. “Holy shit, oh my god,” she's nearly screaming, she starts bucking her hips at him. He increases speed with his tongue and fingers in cue.
Her orgasm is beautiful, even if his eyes are closed. She clamps her legs around his head so hard it almost hurts. Her body quakes the bed, she's screaming now. His name comes out a few times, he thinks.
He doesn't stop until she goes limp, a satisfied puddle on the bed before him. He sits up, preparing himself to be content with this too. She looks utterly exhausted if her breathing is an indicator.
She sits up slightly, and wipes his mouth off, tugging on his bottom lip as she goes.
She's on top of him and he's on his back in the next moment, with all the skill and speed of the shinobi she is. She sits on his thighs, slippery heat running between them.
She pulls down his sleep pants with both hands, he smirks as she gulps as it springs out at her. She nods, to him or herself he's unsure and he bites his finger til it bleeds as she aligns them and sinks down, oh so slowly.
The animal is out of the cage again, he thrusts upwards without his own permission the moment she raises her hips. His opens his eyes to check if she's in pain. She looks surprised.
“You really want this too don't you?” She asks. She splays her fingers out on his chest then slowly closes her hands into fists, scraping his skin on the way. When he doesn't answer she moves up and down slowly again. Too slowly, annoyingly slow.
“I want this,” he says but it's more of a grunt, the wait is becoming almost painful. She's so warm and wet and tight around him.
“I want you,” he says and it's his turn to flip them over. He slams his hips forwards and back a few times, slower than he wants, faster than she was going.
He makes himself say “Tell me if it hurts,” because he doesn't want that. She responds by digging her fingernails into his back and kissing him again.
His one hand supporting himself, he thrusts into her with increasing speed. He doesn't understand why anyone would do drugs when this is an option.
She's moaning loudly again, and saying his name over and over. He can feel the pressure building in his belly, his dick has never been so engorged before.
Sakura doesn't seem to notice he exists anymore, she's a mess of “oh's” and “ah's” beneath him. She reaches her hand between them and he changes angles to give her access. He looks down and can just see her middle two fingers and then the movement of her hand.
He makes note of this for later and a thought occurs to him. He activates his Sharingan, tracing his eyes back up to her face. He records the memory for the rest of his existence. It's only a moment later that her free hand is desperately grabbing the bicep of the hand supporting him.
He bends down to kiss her, thrusting faster. He's so close too. “Do it, Sakura.” He commands against her lips.
He leans up, he's sure a bruise is forming where she holds his arm and her other arm is moving in a frenzy befitting the one his hips have reached. He feels her clamp down around him, both vaginally and with her legs.
It's as if she wants to fuse their bodies down to the atom, to swallow him whole. He understands anglerfish, the males fully absorbed into their mate. He would let her devour him in this moment.
His orgasm comes in a wave, crashing on a shore that's been dry for ages. Every cell in his body is a flash of light, cherry pink and warm and safe and buzzing. His seed is released in spurts and a moan escapes his own lips too.
He doesn't move for a long moment, he can feel the muscles of both of their bodies twitching in tandem. She's looking at him with tears in her eyes. He's just about to panic when she says “Wow,” he laughs instead.
Sasuke rolls to lay on his back beside her. He expects her to cuddle up to him, now that she's finally claimed her final victory over him but she doesn't move.
He looks to his side and sees her pink hair, illuminated in moon and hall light. It's the color of a lake at sunset. “I love you,” he hears her say.
Wide eyes meet his and she's crying again, a smile that shows all of her teeth on her face. He realizes then that it's him who said the words, not her.
He flinches internally, he doesn't even know if that's true.
When she climbs onto his lap and kisses him again, though, he knows that it is.
“I love you, too.” She says against his lips.
“I'm home Sakura,” he says back. The way she's rubbing herself on him with the next kiss tells him he won't be sleeping anymore tonight.
That's okay, he has a lot to make up for.