Chapter Text

Chapter One

Dan and Phil had been going through their storage unit in the preparation of the Hard Launch. They kept way too much random crap in the Phouse, where not everything fit. So most stuff from the different tours was in storage, and out of sight meant out of mind.

But now they were building the set to their new era, and all that random crap could be useful once again.

Phil was looking around for items that could work as props in their new set. Stuff that would feel nostalgic for their audience, and a bit more niche than the Golden Pig. Something that would be an easter egg, or that would just look nice.

Dan was moving some boxes out of the way to get a layer deeper into the storage unit. Against the back wall was the wardrobe he had used in his “Gay and Not Proud” video for Youtube Originals.
Back in 2021, becoming somewhat of a gay icon but also in lockdown, Dan had participated in an online Pride project by Youtube Originals. He had made an hour long piece about his struggles with his sexuality, the many facets of it, and his ever changing relation to it.

He had visualized it as rooms in his mind, with different doors leading to different scenes. Most of the sets had been built up and taken down by Youtube, but some parts were distinctly his own. Like this wardrobe, as part of his teen bedroom set. In the video, he had stepped through a door leading to the inside of that wardrobe in his old room where emo Dan was sitting on a bed. He’d had a conversation with him, and reflected on it.

At the end of the special, he had destroyed the whole set with a baseball bat in dramatic slow motion. It really tied the Youtube special up nicely. And he had to admit it was somewhat cathartic.

Dan looked at the wardrobe now, old stickers on both of the doors and clearly having taken a beating from that baseball bat. He opened the doors to see if there was anything on the shelves. When he looked inside, there were no shelves, just an empty black void. Right, he remembered, he had demolished the back out of it during the rampage finale. But still, it looked strange.

Perplexed, Dan went to touch the back wall through the wardrobe, but he didn’t hit anything. It was open, a vast expanse. He waved an arm into it, to see how far it would go. He got more than he bargained for, as his arm got lost in the void. It was dragging at him, pulling him in, and Dan stumbled through the wardrobe.

Just as quickly, Daniel stumbled out of the wardrobe. But he didn’t stumble back into the storage unit. He was now in his old Manchester flat.

His bedroom looked as it would on any typical day. Clutter was piling up in the parts of his room that were never on camera. His desk had a wild array of cables on it. His bed wasn’t made. But none of this made sense, as Daniel remembered moving out of this place, leaving this room empty.

Though he was getting dizzy, he understood immediately: this was a dream. He was dreaming, probably since before the storage unit. He wouldn’t have fallen asleep there. Now that he was aware of his dream, surely he was about to wake up.

But as he stumbled through the bedroom to the hallway, he didn’t wake up, and the space felt quite real. Daniel was a man of science, though, and wouldn’t accept space and time travel. He figured that if he wasn’t waking up yet, he might as well look at what he should be doing here. He steadied himself and kept walking.

He walked into their old living room and saw the other Dan sitting on the couch. This younger Dan was folded into the sofa crease in his browsing position.

“Home so early, Phil?” Younger Dan asked without looking up.

“Ehh, no?” Daniel responded, confused.

Younger Dan turned to look to the door opening where Daniel stood and his eyes went wide. WHAT THE FUCK??? He startled off the couch onto the floor with a loud thud. His laptop dropped to the floor too. Dan scrambled to get up.

“How’d you get in the house?? Who are you???” Dan yelled at him. His heart was pounding in his chest.

“I don’t know! I don’t understand any of this!” Daniel admitted, also startled, “But wait, wait, I didn’t break in, I swear!” his hands waving out in front of his chest.

Dan looked at him with fear, but didn’t move to attack. They stared at each other for a moment, absolutely frozen, both staring in disbelief.

Daniel looked at the boy, wearing a black, loose-fitting t-shirt and some sweatpants. Hair straightened, though a bit messy. It was incredible to see. Though still panicked, he took a deep breath.

“I… I am you… But older. I stepped through a closet, and now I’m back in my old flat while you’re also here.” Daniel tried to recount it just as much for himself as for the boy.

“What, like fucking Narnia?!” Dan snarked, “Or like Doctor Who time travel shit?”

“Err, yeah I guess? I don’t know! It wasn’t on purpose!” Daniel was getting defensive, frustrated about his own lack of answers. He still wasn’t sure why he wasn’t waking up from this dream, this hallucination. But Narnia Doctor Who shit seemed to cover it.

Daniel took a step closer, and then another, now standing in the space between de couch and the coffee table with only the fallen laptop between their feet. Dan didn’t step back. All four eyes were wide with confusion.

Dan looked at Daniel who was wearing a black and white striped jumper and baggy black jeans with lots of straps. His hair was curly, and maybe he had a bit of a mullet, what the fuck? Daniel wore lots of rings and his nails were painted. Despite all these differences, Dan couldn’t deny that there were clear signs they were the exact same fucking person. The birthmarks in the same spot, and of course his dimple. He noticed that Daniel’s voice was more emboldened but it was still his voice. And it was clearly his face, not yet old with wrinkles, though definitely more mature.

Daniel stared back at the baby features. This moment was very different from looking at old photos of himself. With old photos, he’d cringe. Especially because they still lingered on the internet. Every time Daniel saw an old photo of himself, he couldn’t seem to relate to that person. Feeling distance, like it hadn’t been him at all. He used to pretend to be different from his true self so effectively that Daniel considered those pictures not him. The masks he had performed felt like actual characters, not Daniel himself. But looking at his 2011 self now, right in front of him, was completely different. And it didn’t make him cringe at all.

In front of him was not a photo but an actual person. A scared boy. Not only scared by the time traveller, but also just in general.

Daniel remembered exactly how scary this time of his life had been, and he was glad he was past it now. But this boy in front of him was right in the thick of it. This boy was trying his darndest to play the character he thought he needed to. This boy was in denial about who he was to everyone around him, including himself. And he was getting very famous, very fast. No tools for how to deal with any of it, just riding the absolute tsunami of internet fame. God this boy had no idea what was still to come for him.

Daniel felt protective of this boy, instantly. It was almost a parental feeling, as he was so much older. He had so much more experience and confidence now. So he took charge of the situation.

“Alright, so, I came through a portal in the closet and walked into what I clearly remember to be the Manchester apartment, and clearly I time travelled because you’re my younger self,” Daniel summarized. “And we both don’t fucking understand, but like, can we just take this situation as it is?”
Dan nodded, still staring.

“Okay, so, what year is it?” Daniel asked as he slowly took a seat on the couch, not breaking eye contact.

“2011,” Dan answered blankly. “What was the year for you?”

“2025,” Daniel responded. “So 14 years.”

With that, Dan also sat down on the couch, staring into the middle distance. A wave of emotions came over him. He couldn’t believe this. Not just portals and whatever, but… 2025. Dan was going to grow up and make it all the way to 2025??

Though Dan had not been thinking about harming himself for a few years now, he still wasn’t prone to imagining a future for himself. At some point in his teenage years, he had felt so strongly that he would never get to grow old, that the concept had stayed foreign to him. He took things year by year, sometimes season by season.

But here, on his couch, sat proof that he was going to stick around for at least another 14 years. And that hit him like a brick. The intensity of the simple fact that he would one day turn 34 washed over him. He burst in to tears, holding his head in his hands, balancing his elbows on his knees.

Daniel was frozen on the other side of the couch, not knowing what to do at first. But then he rushed over to Dan’s side of the couch, and wrapped his arms around the weeping boy. He enveloped him in a bear hug and held him tight.

Dan let it happen and kept sobbing. His shoulders shook slightly. His breathing whimpered, followed by gulping in air. Now Daniel felt tears coming too. If Dan noticed, he didn’t show it. Daniels crying was small and quiet, letting tears roll down his cheeks while focussing on the boy in his arms. Being able to comfort his younger self felt incredibly cathartic. Daniel knew how much Dan appreciated space and didn’t want to be touched by strangers. But in this moment, he needed to be held.

Dan sunk into Daniel’s arms, letting himself be held. He felt the warmth of Daniel’s arms around him and appreciated the pressure. A warm and safe cocoon of soft jumper. His whole body relaxed, and his crying turned quieter. Maybe they cried for slightly different reasons. But it was a shared moment in their own bubble.

After a bit, they both dried their tears and took some deep breaths. Daniel unwrapped his arms and rubbed Dan’s back softly.

Dan picked up the laptop from the floor and put it away on the coffee table. They took their respective seats on the couch and looked at each other again. A knowing look between them, that this vulnerable moment had been alright.

“Sorry about that,” Dan said quietly, still wiping with his sleeve over his face.

“Please don’t apologize,” said Daniel, “I know exactly how bottled up you are in 2011.”