Archive of Our Own

Introduction:

Cascade General, ICU:

Leaning forward in his seat, his face a mask of fear and concern, Jim stroked the still, cold hand covered by his own larger one, desperately seeking the first inkling that his young partner and roommate was finally regaining consciousness. It had been days now – he wasn’t sure exactly how many – since he last saw those beautiful blues open and aware, and even though he refused to give up hope, he knew only too well that others were beginning to do so. He couldn’t really blame them, after all, since Blair’s injuries this time were so serious, but he steadfastly believed that his friend was still in there somewhere, and that it was only a matter of time until he decided to wake up and set his sentinel’s mind at rest at last. There was no other outcome, as far as Jim was concerned, because the alternative was unthinkable. A life without his beloved ‘guide’, as per Lee Bracket’s terminology several years ago now, was no life at all, and Jim had no desire whatsoever to try it even for a moment.

Sighing deeply, he essayed a small smile as he gently pushed a stray lock of hair away from the broad, smooth brow. Blair’s face was unmarked, peaceful and so very youthful as he slept on, although his very stillness now was so uncharacteristic. Blair was never still, even asleep, as Jim could testify. Even before they finally got together as a couple, he had relaxed to the small sounds issuing from the loft’s little understairs room as Blair snuffled and muttered softly, his mind ever active and his compact frame restless. And once he had been persuaded to move upstairs to share Jim’s big bed, he followed his bigger lover around like a heat-seeking missile unless cuddled close in Jim’s arms, the older man more than happy to do so whenever he could. Knowing that current thinking held that comatose patients could hear more than one might believe, Jim had been talking to his lover far more than he had ever have believed himself capable; so much so, indeed, that his voice was hoarse and throat dry, relieved only by endless water and mugs of coffee generously provided by the nursing staff who had taken their favourite patient - and said patient’s devoted partner – under their collective wings. Nevertheless, rusty croaking notwithstanding, Jim continued to murmur whatever came to mind in a fervent attempt to break through Blair’s protective blankness.

“You know, babe, I think this has to be a record for me as far as talking is concerned. I don’t think I’ve ever babbled on this long for anyone. Which is probably not such a bad thing, hey, little one? The gods know I think I must have recounted the whole of my life story by now. Family history too, so I hope you’ve been listening in, babe. Lots of potential blackmail material there, I’ll bet. I just need you to wake up and start razzing me about it.”

Needless to say, there was as yet no answering twitch from the silent figure on the bed, but still Jim refused to give up hope. Hell, with the exception of the dreaded ‘fountain episode’, he had suffered probably the greatest potentially traumatic event he’d ever encountered when the doctors had reluctantly switched off the life support machine Blair had been placed on as soon as he had come out of the OR, only for the young man to continue to breathe on his own. Still comatose, for sure, but still basically functioning against all odds, so surely there had to be some sort of worthwhile conclusion. Had to be.

Finally giving in to the demands of his aching back muscles protesting at his hunched position, Jim sat back in his chair and stretched somewhat to ease the stiffness in his shoulders, but all without letting go of Blair’s hand. He truly believed that the physical contact was beneficial to them both and resented any time when he was forced to leave his partner’s side for whatever reason, necessity or not. Gazing longingly at Blair’s perfect face, it was hard to conceive of the extent of the damage sustained by the small body beneath the light sheet that covered him from neck to toe even though Jim knew exactly what it entailed. The high velocity projectile meant for Jim had hit his partner in the back as Blair dived to push his sentinel lover to safety, exiting high through his chest and shoulder and wreaking so much havoc in its wake. Although it had missed his heart, he had lost so much blood so quickly that it had stopped twice during the fraught trip to the ER, and again during the emergency surgery, which according to the medical staff, accounted for his present comatose state and a high possibility of brain damage even if he woke. Unsurprisingly, Jim’s guilt knew no bounds, but he determinedly shoved it to one side as much as possible. It was of no use right now, if ever. Blair was all that mattered now, and Jim recognised that this wasn’t about him. The pity party could wait indefinitely, and Jim was ruefully sure anyway that once his beloved guide was up and about again, the last thing he would allow was for Jim to wallow in grief and self-pity.

Exhaustion pulling relentlessly at him, Jim sat back and closed his eyes for a moment, taking a few minutes to relax as he allowed his thoughts free rein, unsurprisingly recalling the months prior to the shooting and the highs and lows that had eventually led to them both creating a life for themselves only to have it almost destroyed by a sniper’s bullet.

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Part 1: It’s about Friendship:

“It’s just a book.”

“It was your life!”

“Yeah, it was….”

Thinking back, Jim could easily recall the poignancy of that moment in the hospital where he had made such a pitiful attempt at comforting his deeply unhappy roommate and apologising for his own unforgivable treatment of the young man for so many weeks and months prior to the whole dissertation debacle and Blair’s selfless sacrifice on Jim’s behalf. Right then it had been beyond him to even conceive of the damage done to the grad student’s reputation and, indeed, whole life and self-perception up until that point, so wrapped up had he been in his own insecurities. And looking back as objectively as possible, it made Jim cringe in self-disgust at his self-centred ingratitude even though since then he and Blair had gradually worked together on recognising and coming to terms with their joint mistakes and woeful miscommunication. After all, at the end of the day it was Blair who had paid a far higher price for the fiasco his interfering mother had set in motion than had Jim, so it was only fair that he should have some sort of compensation, however insufficient.

However, months down the line Jim was still uncomfortably aware that the cobbled-together badge offer he and Simon had come up with was never going to fly, and it was to his credit that Blair had recognised the fact and gently, if gratefully, turned it down. As both older men were forced to agree, there were simply too many strikes against the self-proclaimed ‘fraud’ right then for him to be accepted in the department other than in MCU, so the three of them had finally worked together to come up with an alternative which had half a chance of succeeding even if it was far less than Blair deserved.

As it turned out, Blair’s long-standing popularity, unswerving loyalty to the institution and prodigious output meant that there were still those at Rainier who believed in him and were prepared to stand up for him in spite of Chancellor Edwards’ vicious and vindictive antipathy towards the ex-grad student. It was clear that the likes of Doctors Eli Stoddard and Jack Kelso amongst other figures of note were not afraid to speak out and come forward with help and advice such that a deeply grateful Blair found himself in a better position than he would ever have expected following the awful, self-destructive press conference. He was encouraged to sue Sid Graham and Berkshire Publishing for leaking his intellectual property without consent, and consequently received a respectable out-of-court settlement. Likewise he approached Rainier’s Board of Governors since Edwards had been equally culpable in that respect, especially as the Sentinel paper hadn’t been submitted anyway. And no way was Blair ever going to admit one way or the other if he had ever intended to do so, or whether it was anything other than the fiction he claimed it to be.

Faced with those indisputable facts, and the generally disapproving response to their punitive actions, the Board offered a grudging apology on Edwards’ behalf, and to allow Blair the chance to submit an alternative paper if it could be done within a set time limit. There was no chance of his being reinstated to his teaching position, but Blair was content to take what he could get.

As it happened, he had wryly confessed to Jim that he did indeed have an alternative paper on the application of anthropological insights and methodology in interpreting crime scenes which only needed brushing up before it was good to go. He freely admitted it didn’t have the flair of the sentinel paper, but it was more than enough to gain him those much-desired three letters after his name in record time even if in hindsight he suspected that his diss committee had been put under pressure to settle the whole affair as quickly and covertly as possible. It was a sorry conclusion to all his years of devotion to the university, but as he also stated, he was grateful for whatever he could get if it meant that his reputation was restored at least enough for him to feel able to stay with Jim in whatever context the sentinel preferred.

As far as the PD was concerned, clearing his name was a little more complicated insofar as there had always been those in other units who had wondered what he was doing there in the first place unless there was some actual truth in the ‘sentinel’ business. Or perhaps a more carnal reason in the cynical and distrustful minds of those less willing to see the unlikely partnership in any other way. Therefore, after more than one night’s soul-searching discussion, Jim announced that he was prepared to reveal at least a little of his gift to the PD’s Powers That Be if it would help them understand just why he wanted – and needed – Blair to work with him again.

It had to be said that Blair was more than a little anxious about this, but agreed eventually that Jim should admit to having far better sight and hearing than average but keep the full extent of his actual sense range to themselves. They did admit to the possibility of the ‘zone-out’ factor, and Blair’s role in controlling it in order to convince the Chief and Commissioner that he be allowed to continue to work with Jim in some capacity, which paved the way for the creation of an official consultancy position; confirmed once he had acquired his doctorate.

Jim smiled ruefully to himself as he recalled all those machinations, which were only necessary after all because of the radical change in their personal relationship. And it was that change which both left him in awe of his young lover’s devotion to him and the full and final acknowledgement of his own belated recognition of just how much he desired – and needed – his friend and guide. Fear-based responses indeed. And although it might well be a case of ‘better late than never’, he had yet to truly come to terms with his own recalcitrance in accepting and embracing his friend and guide for what he was. The other half of his soul however quaint that concept might seem to a cynical, technologically advanced so-called ‘civilised’ society.

Blair had once claimed, years ago, that it was about friendship, but in retrospect, Jim saw now that it had been far more than that in the younger man’s eyes. And blamed himself for being so slow on the uptake, even if he admitted to himself that Blair had grown on him far more quickly and effectively than he was comfortable with. But that was water under the bridge now, because despite having been through fire, their partnership had survived and was now more than either of them could ever have envisaged.

As that amazing concept flashed through his thoughts, Jim dashed away unwanted moisture from his eyes as he leaned forward to stroke his lover’s brow again. Smiling sadly but fondly as he regarded the peaceful features, he murmured softly once again in earnest appeal. “Come on, babe. I’m still here, lover! It’s about time you woke up and started giving me earache about how much you hate hospitals. There’s so much we still have to do, babe, and I can’t – won’t – do it without you.

“If you want me to give up being a cop, babe, I’ll do it, willingly. This was too much, and I don’t want either of us to go through it again. You’ve always held that there are many ways a sentinel and guide can work to benefit the tribe, and I’m game to do something different as long as we do it together.

“So, how about it? You need to wake up and tell me what you think, Chief. Just wake up, OK?”

But the monitors attached to the young man continued to bleep softly and rhythmically, and Blair slept on.

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Part 2: A Case Too Far:

Five weeks previously, MCU bullpen:

“Hey, look what the cat dragged in! Hairboy’s back!” H’s cheerful voice rang out as Blair entered the bullpen, grinning happily and greeting everyone as he made his way over to Jim’s desk.

“Not so much of the ‘Hairboy’ now!” he chuckled ruefully as he ran his hand through his curls.

“Maybe so,” H responded smartly, running his hand over his smooth pate, “but you still got way more than most of us!”

It was true insofar as Blair had finally decided to have his hair cut so as to be more in keeping with the more sober persona he wanted to project for his new role, but having said that, it was hardly ‘short’. Instead, the hairdresser he had visited had made a beautiful job of styling and shaping his abundant curls so that they clustered around his head, showing off his spectacular bone structure to great effect and completely winning over his sceptical sentinel, who had covertly railed at his lover’s decision. The new look, coupled with somewhat smarter clothes seemed to have worked wonders in smoothing his welcome and acceptance within the PD as a whole such that instances of snide verbal abuse and ‘neo-hippy’ references were now few and far between. And it had to be said that since as soon as he returned to the loft he gladly changed back into his favourite sweats or jeans-and-plaid flannel comfort mode, Jim could hardly complain. Especially when his lover replaced the hoops in his ear, just for Jim, or so he said.

Arriving at Jim’s desk, he grinned down at his sentinel’s upturned face, soaking up the gentle smile and warmth in the cornflower blue eyes which was for him alone. “Hey, Jim, are you going to be able to escape for some lunch? I finished the Nolan paperwork for Homicide, and don’t have anything lined up yet for this afternoon, so if you need me, I’m all yours!”

Jim’s grin widened as he covertly looked his guide up and down. Even though most of their friends had a fair idea of their relationship now, they had chosen not to make it public – with Simon’s full backing – simply because as far as they were concerned, what went on in their bedroom was no one else’s business but their own and there was no point in creating unnecessary friction. They therefore kept PDAs to a bare minimum and maintained as professional a manner as appropriate while in the office for form’s sake.

“Well, as it happens, Junior, I do have some paperwork to finish up, but so far there’s nothing else lined up for me either, so lunch sounds good. You can tell me about how the Nolan case concluded, since I know very well that much of the evidence for his conviction was down to your input.”

His lover blushed at the praise, even now self-effacing as always. “Uh, thanks, man. That’s nice of you to say, but there were a whole lot more folks involved who should get the praise too. But anyway, good to go?” he added hopefully.

Nodding cheerfully, Jim stood, about to reach for his jacket when a familiar bellow issued from Banks’ office. “Ellison! Dr Sandburg! A moment of your time, if you will!”

Exchanging wry grins, the pair turned back and crossed the bullpen as requested, unaware of the fond smirks and speculative glances that followed their progress.

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Seated across from their boss and friend, the pair studied Simon quizzically, wondering if this was an official or social call, since it had been a while since they’d had the opportunity to catch up outside of police business. As Blair’s new role frequently required him to work with other units, unless specifically needed to work with his sentinel on a Major Crimes case, he didn’t see as much of Simon as before. Although he had always been somewhat in awe of the big captain, he still considered Simon to be a good friend to him and Jim both. And it had to be said that to his mind the older man looked tired and stressed even more than usual.

“Ah, are you OK, Simon…er…Captain?” he murmured solicitously, unsurprised when the big man scowled fiercely before offering a rather sheepish half-grin. It was Simon’s way, and after all this time, Blair was finally getting that it wasn’t personal. Just as well, because he didn’t need to look over at Jim to feel the sentinel’s protective instinct rearing its head at the perceived threat to his guide.

“I’m not so bad, Dr Sandburg – Blair – thanks for asking. But I do have something I need to run by the both of you, and I’m not happy about it. It’s something that’s come down from ‘on high’, so you know how shit runs downwards. And it’s about to land on you guys, whether I like it or not.”

Their expressions suitably sombre, the pair leaned forward slightly in their seats, ready to give their boss and friend their full attention. “OK, Simon. Captain, sir. Let’s have it!” Jim said, a tiny, wry grin pulling at his lips. “Sounds ominous!”

Responding in kind, Simon nodded. “You got it, my friend. So, here goes. Do you recall a certain Jed Blackwood from your military days?”

He got his confirmation in Jim’s instant frown of disgust and huff of displeasure, even as Blair turned to face his lover in concern. “What is it, Jim? You OK?” he murmured sentinel-soft.

After closing his eyes for a moment as he sighed deeply, Jim met his guide’s anxious gaze as he nodded resignedly. “I’m fine, Chief. Just a blast from the past I’d rather not have had.” Then, turning back to face Simon, he offered the older man a rueful grimace. “Yeah, Simon. As you can tell, that name’s not new to me. But how is it that it’s come up now? As far as I was aware, that murdering bastard was serving life in Leavenworth for war crimes. The type of atrocity most folks couldn’t even conceive of.”

Simon’s expression was both angry and apologetic as he explained, clearly as upset as his listeners.

“Well, here’s the thing, Jim. Blair. He’s out, but God knows how or why. Your friend Jack Kelso might have a better insight, what with his connections, but whatever, the Commissioner got the heads up via federal sources that this guy is suspected to be on the way to Cascade to carry out some sort of revenge killing or contract. Or both? And the first person that immediately sprang to mind who might know anything about him was you, Jim, with your military background and covert ops in particular. Needless to say, there’s an APB on him, but you know him better than most. What he’s capable of. What do you think?”

Jim closed his eyes again and sat back, although he took the hand Blair reached out to him and squeezed it in an attempt to comfort his lover. And to be honest, to soak up the love and concern he could literally feel emanating from the smaller man. Finally, having gathered his thoughts, he opened his eyes again and looked from Blair to Simon, his expression fully focussed and grim as he began.

“OK guys. Here goes. And you’re not going to like it, I guess.

“Anyhow, yes, I did have the misfortune of serving alongside that piece of shit, Blackwood. We were on a covert ops mission which I can’t divulge, but a village was involved. And the likelihood of hostile insurgents hiding there. Fact was that the info was wrong, and the villagers were completely innocent. But Jed had other ideas. Stated that he was certain there were hostiles there and was intent on proving it. Long story short, he took off during the night and massacred two families, mothers, fathers and babies. Grandparents too. We heard the screams, but by the time we got there it was too late. And no, no hostiles in sight. He swore blind that he was only doing his duty; acting on information received and in self-defence; but it turned out later that he had made inappropriate advances to one of the women and had been turned down – very firmly. So he took his revenge in a way that he thought wouldn’t rebound on him.

“Trouble was, he was wrong. None of us in the team was going to cover that up, and on return to base he was charged and convicted. My testimony was convincing enough, along with others, so that he was sentenced to life.

“There is one other telling thing though,” he added thoughtfully. “Jed knew Colonel Oliver. Thought he was god’s gift, if you know what I mean. So that probably gives you a better idea of where this piece of shit’s coming from!”

“Oh man!” Blair breathed, the horror and disgust clearly writ on his pale features. “Goddess, Jim! How in her name could such a slimeball ever get free? And if he’s coming here, I don’t think it’s too much of a stretch of the imagination that he’ll have you in mind as far as revenge goes. How do you want to play this? Simon?” he appealed to both older men.

Grim-faced, the captain growled, “Well, as far as I’m concerned, I’m wholly convinced that this is one bloodthirsty maverick we’ve got coming, if the Commissioner’s info is kosher. So I’m putting it at the top of my shit list when we get confirmation that he’s on his way. So what I want you guys to do is get in touch with Kelso and see what he can tell you, then concentrate on chasing up any possible leads you might have as to where and who he’s targeting. And that includes you, Jim, my friend, so watch your backs, both of you!

“So, go grab some lunch, then get cracking. The paperwork can wait for the time being, and I can’t believe I just said that!” he snickered, lightening the mood even if only a little. It was appreciated by Jim and Blair, however, and they offered responding grins.

“You got it, sir! We’ll get right on it!” Jim replied, already rising from his seat. “Come on, Chief. We’ll grab some lunch on the go, then I’m thinking our first stop should be to meet up with your friend Jack Kelso, huh?”

Nodding eagerly, Blair rose to his feet also. “I’m with you there, Jim. And thanks, Simon. For giving us fair warning.”

“No problem, Blair, Jim. But make sure you keep me in the loop at all times, you hear me?”

Assuring him that they would, they left the office and returned to Jim’s desk, where he swiftly dealt with the offending paperwork by returning it to his in-tray before grabbing his coat, the pair leaving the bullpen immediately, intent on getting started with gathering as much information as was currently available.

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Later, Jack Kelso’s office, Rainier University:

Expression grim, Jack Kelso studied the two men sitting opposite him carefully, with particular interest in the smaller of the two. It was a few years now since he had met and quickly befriended the then grad student, Blair Sandburg, of whom he had approved from the outset, impressed by the young man’s intelligence, generous nature and open-minded attitude to one and all, given the chance. And that was saying something for one who had become hardened and cynical long ago, even before the incident that had left him in a wheelchair. Also, because he had good reason to have faith in his own judgement of character, he knew very well that Blair hadn’t lied as regards his dissertation, except in denying that it was anything but fiction. He had simply utilised the only ethical option available at the time in order to protect his Primary Subject, and in all honesty, Kelso still found it hard to swallow that Jim Ellison had let him do it.

However, he also knew that Blair’s devotion and loyalty to his sentinel couldn’t be faulted, and it would appear that at long last the big detective was worthy of that love. It was therefore incumbent on him to do his best to help the pair through this latest threat, and he was prepared to do his utmost to support them and procure as much information as possible.

“OK, guys. This is what I can tell you so far, and I’m glad that you’ve come to see me. I did leave an urgent message on your answer machine earlier, but this saves valuable time. According to my sources, Blackwood escaped from Leavenworth around a week to ten days ago, although no one is ‘fessing up as yet to how in the hell that could have happened. Needless to say, everyone involved in covert ops and national security from federal level downwards is on high alert, but whatever clandestine resources Blackwood is relying on are working effectively insofar as that up until yesterday there had been no trace of his whereabouts. If it’s the sort of ultra-secretive agency I think it is, he’s going to have plenty of support for as long as he’s of use to them. And that’s what I need to fill you in on.

“One of my most trustworthy contacts from the FBI reckons that Blackwood might have been ID’d travelling under the alias of Jethro Schwartz. It’s not one hundred percent as apparently he’s changed his appearance significantly, but my informant is sharp and reliable, so I have every reason to give the information due credence. And if it’s correct, then he’s definitely heading this way, guys. As yet I have no information whatsoever as to whether he’s on a contract, or if he’s out for personal revenge against you, Jim, and anyone else he blames for his incarceration. Whatever the case, you need to watch your backs, and rest assured I’ll pass on anything else I get.”

Blair was the first to respond, and although he offered his friend a tight smile, the anxiety in his eyes was clear to see. “Oh, man! Thanks, Jack. For the info, even if it’s scary as all get out! You’re a great friend, man, and we really appreciate it. Honestly!”

Jim spoke up then, his own expression taut but open. “Yeah, Kelso. We really appreciate everything you can tell us. After all, forewarned is forearmed as they say. And if Blackwood really is out for revenge, then I believe that I’ll be able to recognise that piece of shit however he’s trying to disguise himself. With Blair’s help, I’m sure my sense memory will do what’s necessary to detect him once he gets close enough. I won’t insult your intelligence by even trying to obfuscate about my abilities. I know you’re only too well aware of them, hence your support for Blair in the fall-out from the press conference. For which I’m truly grateful, even if it’s an admission late in coming.”

Kelso offered him a wry grin then. “You’re welcome, Ellison. Even if I’m doing it more for Blair’s sake, I don’t want to see you – see either of you – hurt. So if my information can help, you’ll have it. Take care of each other, and I’ll let you know immediately if I hear anything new.

“So, is there anything else you need right now? Because I have a lecture in about ten minutes!”

Grinning, Blair rose to his feet. “Hey, man, I still recall what that’s like! We’ll get out of your hair and let you get on. And thanks again, Jack. We really do appreciate it, man,” and with that he shook Jack’s outstretched hand, his smile warm and affable. “Take care, man!”

Rising to stand beside his guide, Jim was less effusive, but the look he exchanged with the ex-CIA agent spoke volumes. Both men understood the gravity of the situation and were not about to underestimate the potential added risk to their mutual friend and companion. Blair was dear to them both, and his safety was their primary concern. That much was clearly understood.

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Same time, in a motel room on the outskirts of Cascade.

Standing before the bathroom mirror in his run-down motel room, Jed Blackwood, aka Jethro Schwartz sneered nastily at his reflection. Even behind coloured contacts, his eyes were hard and cruel and the change in his appearance since he was last seen by that bastard Ellison, or any of his former so-called comrades wasn’t only due to deliberate disguise. Leavenworth was no vacation home, and several years of incarceration there had wreaked a considerable amount of superficial havoc even if for the most part his own vicious temper, specialist combat skills and battle-hardened physique had kept him at the top of the heap where his fellow inmates were concerned. Hard labour and the relentless need to watch his back had gouged harsh lines on his face, and his hair was thinning and prematurely grey beneath the non-descript brown wig he was presently trying on for size. Satisfied with what he saw, even if he resented the changes, he figured that he looked different enough to fool even that sanctimonious boy scout Ellison. After all, it had already worked with two of his ex-comrades – now painfully deceased – and the grim, self-satisfied smile that stretched his thin lips at that recollection only served to enhance the overall air of menace surrounding him. He was more than ready to take out his nemesis, and once that was accomplished, he would be open for offers when it came to contract work, knowing that his reputation in the right circles was already enough to start drumming up business from those who needed his expertise. Even now there was the possibility of a contract here in Cascade, so maybe he could kill two birds with one stone so to speak and get paid for doing it.

Returning to the bedroom, he sat down on the sagging queen bed, uncaring as regards the shabbiness of his surroundings since it was only temporary. It was better than his cell in Leavenworth after all so he could live with it for the time he expected he would need to accomplish his mission. As someone who had always enjoyed the hunt almost as much as the kill, his planning would need to be as meticulous as possible, especially in respect of the elevated position Ellison now held in the local PD’s Major Crimes Unit, for Pete’s sake. And much as he would like to despatch the bastard at close quarters, common sense insisted that it be carried out from afar, hence the high-quality sniper rifle tucked away at present beneath the bed. He might only have had a few opportunities so far to reacquaint himself with his chosen firearm, but he had already discovered that his talent was still there, and more than adequate to do the job.

Oh yes, Ellison literally wouldn’t know what hit him, and even though Blackwood would much prefer to be able to reveal his identity before the bastard’s dying eyes, self-preservation dictated that he carry out the deed from a safe distance, so it was paramount that he did his research on his intended victim. And if that meant setting up a suitable situation to pull him in, he could do that. It wasn’t as if he cared about collateral damage anyway, and he had all the time he needed to do the job right. Revenge was a dish best served cold anyway and he looked forward to relishing it.

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Part 3: Greater Love hath No Man:

Over the next few days, Jim remained on high alert, although he had no intention of letting the situation get in the way of his job. He appreciated the presence of the unit Simon insisted on having parked outside 852 Prospect when they were at home in the loft, and it was pointless taking risks he didn’t have to. More importantly, he made sure that Blair was equally careful, to the extent that he knew his feisty lover was beginning to get antsy at the sheer amount of ‘mother henning’ he was being subjected to, especially as Jim had clearly sought and received the willing, if unofficial participation of their friends and colleagues also. It wasn’t that Blair didn’t appreciate the effort. It was simply that he couldn’t see why he should have such protection when it was Jim who was Blackwood’s likely target. In his view, everyone’s attention should be focussed on his sentinel, including his, especially should Jim finally sense the killer’s presence and need his guide’s backup to locate him.

However, as yet there had been no sign of anyone or anything out of the ordinary, and no further information forthcoming either from official sources or Jim and Blair’s own CIs, so not unsurprisingly Simon had reluctantly called off the official protection, citing lack of resources available for indefinite cover on the basis of a theoretical threat. Of course, his albeit reluctant respect for his detective and friend’s abilities plus his affection for Jim and Blair both meant that, should the sentinel have come to him with anything more than a simple suspicion that they were being watched he would have reinstated the cover immediately, but so far no such mention had been made. Both Jim and Blair understood, and told him so, not wanting him to feel guilty at having to do his job as a captain responsible for a whole unit rather than one particular team member – and said team member’s companion.

The fact remained that, as Jim ruefully confessed to his lover, as yet he genuinely had had no sense evidence of Blackwood’s presence anywhere near them. For sure, he occasionally felt an instinctive frisson suggesting some sort of amorphous threat or perhaps even a ‘sixth sense’ reaction, but nothing more telling than that. And since Blair had suggested that perhaps that was just a side-effect of his prolonged hyper-awareness over a period of several days now, he found himself forced to agree. It certainly didn’t make him careless, but he felt able to relax at least a little from his constant – and exhausting – state of full alertness, much to Blair’s relief. A sentinel in full BPS mode was a difficult creature to live with, and Blair’s own patience with the continuous overprotectiveness he had been subjected to had been wearing thin.

It was at that point when they received a call from Jack Kelso, who had some more information for them which may or not be relevant to their safety. But as he also explained, he knew Jim would want to hear it anyway. The fact was that he had received information that two of Jim’s ex-comrades from the team that put Blackwood away had been found dead. Both men had been retired from the army for some time, and living in different states, which is why it had taken a while to join up the dots. Something which probably would never have happened if it hadn’t been for the high-profile case surrounding Blackwood’s escape and the interest it had engendered in both federal and state law enforcement agencies.

As it was, the killer’s MO was similar in both cases, the two victims having been tortured and mutilated antemortem, which suggested a violent and sadistic means of revenge killing. However, the killer was also clearly intelligent and resourceful, and had left no useful forensic trace evidence for identification purposes, such that Blackwood’s suspected involvement was as yet unproven.

Even worse was the news that at least under the alias Jethro Schwartz, any trace of Blackwood had apparently completely vanished. No further sightings had been reported, and since no bank cards or the like had been used since his escape, just cash only, there was no paper trial to follow. It was more than frustrating, but with no further evidence that he was either in or around Cascade after all there was no desire in the ranks of the PD’s Powers That Be to maintain the high-risk alert status any longer, it being so costly in terms of manpower and already over-stretched resources. For sure, the case wasn’t about to be dropped altogether, but significantly down-graded to a watching brief as far as personnel involved were concerned. It was bleak news in Jim and Blair’s shared opinion, but it was what it was, and they knew they had no choice but to live with it.

It was late in the evening when Jim and Blair had received Kelso’s call at home, and although unable to hear both sides of the conversation, Blair had known instantly that it was bad news. Anxiously studying his lover’s grim features as Jim listened to what Kelso had to say, Blair couldn’t help but reach out to clasp Jim’s free hand, offering what tacit support and comfort he could. And once Jim terminated the call, he spoke up. “Oh, man, I can tell Jack didn’t have anything good to report, but just how bad is it, lover? Can you tell me?” he pleaded.

In all honesty, that was the last thing Jim wanted to do – not only because he still had a tendency to want to keep such information to himself; the need for secrecy drummed into him throughout his military career; but also because in this instance he knew Blair was going to be seriously upset both on behalf of Jim’s ex-comrades’ fate and for Jim himself. The gentle and empathic young man was ever going to hurt over the suffering of others, and although it was one of the things that Jim loved about his partner, he also recognised the pain it caused him.

However, knowing only too well how a lack of communication had caused so much damage to their relationship so many times in the past, he knew it had to be done, so offering his worried lover a small smile, he gently urged Blair to sit beside him on the sofa, a comforting arm thrown about the smaller man’s shoulders.

“I guess you know by now that I’d rather not have to repeat Jack’s message,” he began with a rueful smirk, “but I also know that you’ll be mad at me if I hold back, so here goes. But you’re right, babe, insofar as it’s not good…,” and he proceeded to recount everything Kelso had told him.

As he wound down, he had watched his lover’s expressive face as the wide-eyed gaze reflected Blair’s pained reaction. Blair had swallowed hard, then reached up to cup Jim’s face with a gentle palm.

“Oh, man! I’m so sorry, Jim! So sorry for your comrades, and how you must feel about it. I mean, even if you haven’t seen them in years, it’s got to hurt. And to die in such a dreadful way after all they’d been through in the military. And by the hand of someone they’d fought alongside of. Goddess, I can’t even begin to imagine how that must have felt.”

Leaning into the comforting touch, Jim murmured, “It’s OK, babe. I mean, I appreciate your sympathy and concern because I know it’s heart-felt. But I sincerely hope that you never have to find out how it feels, babe.

“As for me, I have to confess that I’m probably not as distressed as I should be, but that’s only because I haven’t had any sort of contact with the guys in years, and the distance helps. Not that I don’t sympathise also, because I do. But what concerns me more is the fact that Blackwood’s dropped below the radar, and could be anywhere. OK, maybe he’s not interested in Cascade or me, but I don’t really believe that. Especially not now. And because of that, we have to maintain a sensible level of awareness, OK? After all, if it’s me he’s after, you could well be targeted too simply because of our closeness both at home and on the job, so I need you to promise me you’ll keep up with the precautions we’ve already put in place. Agreed?”

And since there really wasn’t any good reason why Blair should demur, he nodded in miserable assent. Looked like it was back to full BPS mode. Oh, joy!

--------------------------

Meanwhile, in another run-down motel room, a grimly self-satisfied Blackwood lovingly and meticulously cleaned his rifle. No longer Jethro Schwartz, Jason Woodford was genuinely looking forward to the next few days, because as far as he was concerned, everything had fallen into place far better than he could ever have imagined. Via the clandestine but powerful underworld sources shared by useful renegades such as he – and the likes of Colonel Oliver once upon a time – he had been contacted with a view to carrying out a contract locally. And when he received the detailed information, he was almost beside himself with unholy glee. Finally Lady Luck was with him, and he truly was about to kill two birds with one stone. Who knew?

According to his information, in a few days’ time a certain court case was coming up which involved the son of one of the most notorious crime bosses in the Cascade area. Kyle Castigliano was a spoilt, mean-spirited young man who had been brought up to believe that anything was his for the taking, and if he couldn’t get it himself, his rich, powerful and totally ruthless father would secure it for him. It had been thus all his young life, such that he had been incredulous when a major drug deal had backfired on him and he was arrested by the Major Crimes team which had included Detective Jim Ellison and his civilian partner. Supremely confident that his father’s uber-expensive, ‘legal eagle’ lawyers would spring him immediately, both he and his father had been infuriated when the presiding judge at his arraignment had refused bail. Forced to endure incarceration, even if his father’s influence ensured his relative safety and comfort, he was now coming up for trial, and the outcome didn’t look good.

The trouble was that even his lawyers believed that upon hearing Detective Ellison’s testimony, the man’s reputation was such that the jury would almost definitely find Kyle guilty. Thanks to Ellison’s high profile and relative popularity in the public eye – and that of his partner, Dr Sandburg in all fairness – plus the particularly careful precautions taken by the PD it had been impossible for Castigliano Sr to get to the jurors to pressure them into skewing the verdict in favour of Kyle. Therefore, acting on his most trusted confidant’s advice, as far as Castigliano Sr was concerned the only way forward was to take Ellison out of the equation altogether and hope for a hung jury or mis-trial at best. And when he heard a rumour of the presence of a competent and vindictive assassin, he was ready to go to any lengths to secure the man’s services.

Thus it was that Blackwood had quickly received a hefty down-payment plus a promise of significant remuneration for a job well done, and the final steps of the assassin’s plan were put in place.

For the last several days now Blackwood had been stalking Jim using a top-of-the-range directional mic to ensure that he was able to maintain a safe distance from his target. Not that he was aware of Jim’s ability, but even a sentinel would have difficulty in locating a potential stalker at that distance, especially as Blackwood was taking the precaution of changing his disguise on a daily basis and his temporary accommodation almost as often. He might not have Jim’s hypersensitivity, but he was equally well-trained in covert ops skills in addition to his ever-present simmering anger and dogged determination to have his revenge.

It had to be said that he was grimly amused at what he made of Blair’s almost constant presence. So Boy Scout Ellison had found himself a boytoy fuckbuddy, and a pretty one to boot. Who’d of thought? The sanctimonious bastard was playing both sides of the fence, and was clearly very attached to his little lover, such that if so be said lover happened to go down also, it would serve the bastard right. Knowing the dying cop had been forced to watch his lover’s life bleed away in front of him would be sweet indeed, but Ellison himself remained the prime target as far as he was concerned, so anything else would simply be a gratifying bonus.

With jury selection complete, it wasn’t long until the first day of the trial loomed, and Blackwood had already determined that Ellison would be there. It was unlikely that the detective would have to testify on the opening day, but the high importance allocated to the proceedings on account of the notoriety of the accused meant that the PD and Major Crimes in particular were taking their presence very seriously. Which couldn’t be better as far as Blackwood was concerned. Having already located a suitable kill-site on the roof of an unoccupied office building undergoing renovation a block away from the courthouse, he was good to go as soon as the opportunity arose.

--------------------

On the opening day of the trial, Blackwood was already set up and ready, having given himself plenty of time to get settled. Patience was something he had learned over the years, and which stood him in good stead as an assassin, made easier in this instance by the knowledge that before the day’s end, Ellison would be dead and he would be not only avenged, but well-paid to boot. His escape plans were already in place, and the future was looking good as far as ‘employment’ was concerned. Just a little bit longer….

----------------------

Meanwhile, in the loft:

Reaching up to straighten his bigger lover’s already immaculate tie, Blair looked up to meet Jim’s wry gaze, his own smile soft and mildly apologetic. “You OK, Big Guy? I mean, I know you don’t particularly enjoy dressing up like this, but I gotta say, that I think you look hot! It’s just the reason for it I don’t like,” he added ruefully.

Jim reached up and caught the busy hands in his own. “I know, babe. It’s not going to be a fun day for any of us, but I need to be there. To see Kyle Castigliano get what he deserves – and his evil father also. Bruno Castigliano has had his wicked way in Cascade for far too long, so even if we still haven’t been able to pin anything on him personally yet, I’m thinking that having his spoilt, murderous brat sent down for a long time will be some sort of recompense for his many victims.

“Anyhow, can I say that you’re looking pretty good there too, babe. I know you don’t like court days any more than I do, but you look good enough to eat!” He offered his smaller partner a lascivious leer, which made the young man chuckle even if he couldn’t prevent the slight blush of pleasure that pinked his cheeks.

“Aw, thanks lover. That’s nice of you to say even if I think you’re biased! But I guess we’d better make tracks if we’re going to meet Simon in front of the courthouse in time. I just wish you didn’t have to be subjected to the press’ attention, even though I guess it’s better to get it over with sooner rather than later. And I wish I could be there with you, man, but we both know that’s still not the best idea,” he added sadly.

Jim pulled him in for a brief hug, and dropped a kiss on the curly crown before saying, “I know, babe. I mean, it’s been a while now, and I think you’re pretty much rehabilitated in most folks’ eyes by now, but I wouldn’t put it past some sleazy, sensation-seeking asshole to try and rehash the whole sentinel thing again. I won’t have you suffer that for my sake, babe. Never again! And I’ll know you’re close by, so that’s good enough for me.”

Pulling away enough to be able to look up into his sentinel lover’s face, Blair smiled back, his eyes reflecting his love and admiration. “Thanks, Jim. I mean it. And yes, I’ll be as close as I can get without making myself too noticeable!

“So, let’s make a move!” and with that, he turned to head determinedly for the door, unaware of the fond – and admiring – gaze following his progress across the room.

------------------------

Having chosen to travel together and hoping to keep as low a profile as possible until the last minute, Jim deliberately headed for the furthest entrance to the courthouse’s underground parking lot, taking a fairly circuitous route with the intention of trying to avoid the attention of the media circus already in place at the front of the building. No easy matter since his beloved blue and white classic truck was pretty noticeable anyway, but worth the attempt.

As it happened, he successfully negotiated the approach and parked up in as distant a spot as he could before turning off the ignition and turning to face his lover, a puzzled expression colouring his patrician features.

Instantly concerned, Blair reached out to grasp his forearm. “You OK, man?” he murmured worriedly. “What is it, Jim? Can you sense something out of the ordinary?”

“I’m not sure,” he answered distractedly. “It’s like nothing I can pin down, babe. More like a stronger version of that feeling I’ve had lately of being watched, but with nothing I can explain; at least as far as the senses are concerned right now. But I don’t like it, Chief. If it’s a primal instinct, so be it, but I intend to take it seriously this time. Be on your guard, Chief, and be ready to act if you need to. I trust your instincts too, babe, so between us hopefully we can detect the source.”

Blair nodded firmly, his face reflecting his concern for his mate, and also his determination to be there should the sentinel require his backup. “Got it, man. I’ll stay as close as I can so I can get to you if you need me. And I’ll keep an eye out for trouble too, Jim.

“So, shall we make a move? Simon’ll be wondering where we’ve gotten to, and I’d feel bad at leaving him to deal with the press on his own for much longer!” he chuckled.

“Yeah, sure you would!” Jim replied with a grin, but he opened his door anyhow and climbed down from the truck. “Let’s get this circus over with!”

----------------------

As they neared the front of the building they split up, with Jim heading reluctantly for the noisy throng on the courthouse steps while Blair made as surreptitious an approach as possible, taking refuge behind the broad backs of some of the security guards watching the entrance. A highly relieved, if clearly irritable Simon nodded to Jim as the detective took his place next to his boss.

“’Bout time you got here, detective!” he groused quietly. “But I’m glad you made it. The sooner we get this over with the better. Where’s your shadow?”

“He’s hiding behind the security detail,” Jim replied equally quietly, his face briefly lighting up with affection. “He’ll join us after we’re inside, OK?”

“Fair enough, Jim. Can’t say I blame him wanting to avoid this feeding frenzy! So, you ready?” and with that, the two men faced front, ready to deal with the rapid-fire questions already being hurled at them.

Even sentinel recall could never quite make sense of the next few fraught moments – absolutely no pun intended. One moment Jim was grimly attempting to respond to a question from the pushy blonde anchor-woman whose microphone was thrust under his nose, and the next his instincts went on high alert. Shoving the woman unceremoniously aside, he stared over at the building a block away, his head tilted to one side in the classic listening position. Totally ignoring the angrily sputtering woman trying to get in his face, he barked out urgently, “There’s someone over there Simon! I’m sure of it! I’m certain I heard a bolt being drawn back! Get everyone out…!”

Even as his boss sprang into action, not even hesitating to act on Jim’s warning, a flying blur threw itself in front of Jim, synchronous with the muffled thump of a high velocity bullet penetrating flesh. Jim barely registered the searing heat that gouged a shallow path in his upper arm as he was taken down by his stricken guide, Blair’s blood already pouring from the gaping, through-and-through wound the sniper’s bullet had made as it travelled from below the right shoulder blade to exit upper chest. All Jim knew was that his guide was lying in his arms, probably dying, and all because once again he was trying to protect his sentinel.

“Help us, Simon! He’s dying!” he gasped as the older man knelt beside him, his own face creased in horror and fear as Jim tried desperately to staunch the flow of blood from his lover’s chest.

“Stay with him, Jim. The EMTs are here. Don’t let him go, man. Not now. Not again!”

It seemed to take forever for the EMTs to stabilise the young man for transport, and all the while Simon hung grimly onto his distraught friend, hoping to stave off the imminent threat of a zone-out. It had been months now since Jim had last had one, and that had only lasted a few seconds anyway, thanks to the rapid arrival of his guide to bring him out of it, and also, truth be told, his own much greater control over his senses which had improved dramatically once he had accepted his gift, and, more importantly, the gift of the guide himself. However, with all Jim’s senses focussed on his desperately injured lover, Simon didn’t want to chance having the man succumb to a fugue state. As far as Simon was concerned, Blair needed Jim awake and aware if he was to be of any use during the healing process. But if the worst came to the worst – and Simon couldn’t shake that fear in view of the bullet’s awful destruction of Blair’s vulnerable flesh – then he could well imagine the bereft sentinel falling into one last, deep zone, never to waken again.

As the ambulance finally drew away, bearing his dear friends once more to Cascade General Hospital, Simon couldn’t help thinking of that well-known if frequently misquoted phrase. Greater love hath no man but this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

Then he shook himself fiercely, berating himself for his pessimism. Blair wasn’t dead yet, and the kid was nothing if not a fighter. Simon just had to keep telling himself that.

-----------------------

Over in the vacant office building, Blackwood cursed viciously as he swiftly broke down and bagged his rifle. How the fuck had Ellison known where to look? He had seen the man clearly through his scope, and was absolutely certain, impossible as it seemed, that as he prepared to take the kill shot, the bastard had looked straight at him. And then to crown it all, that blasted pretty boy had done that ludicrous, self-sacrificial stunt and taken the bullet meant for Ellison. With no time or opportunity to take another shot at his intended target, there was nothing for it but to make a hasty retreat, and hope for another chance later on. His pride in his own handiwork wouldn’t let him give up so easily, and he wanted that substantial payment almost as much as vengeance….

-----------------------

Part 4: Fair Retribution:

Back on the ICU ward, Jim’s somewhat wistful reminiscing was disrupted by the arrival of Simon, who had come to check up on Blair’s progress and also relay the latest news about the Castigliano trial.

Following the dramatic shooting incident, the trial had been postponed at the request of the prosecution, a request with which the presiding judge was happy to comply. Since the DA’s star witness had clearly been the target, and said star witness’ partner had been involved and seriously injured, it was deemed only right to allow a little compassionate time to regroup despite the defence council’s vehement protestations. Then again, despite Bruno Castigliano’s initial frustration also, it had to be said that on reflection he was only too willing to allow the assassin a further chance to complete his mission. One way or another, he wanted Ellison out of the way. Permanently.

Of course, with the PD’s Powers That Be thankfully recognising that that might well be the case, both Jim and Blair were under constant guard in the hospital; Jim rarely leaving his lover’s bedside anyway; and when he did, he had at least one uniformed cop watching his back.

Since the ICU only allowed one visitor per patient, and that had to be Jim as he had been granted special dispensation to remain with his lover, Jim rose to his feet to speak to his boss and friend outside the room. Leaning down to place a gentle kiss on Blair’s brow he murmured, “Back soon, babe. Gotta bring Simon up to speed, but won’t be long, OK?” Of course, there was no response, so with a sad half-smile he left reluctantly, closing the door quietly behind him. Nodding amicably to the uniform presently on duty outside the cubicle, he smiled wearily at Simon, accepting the friendly hand the taller man placed on his shoulder.

“How’s he doing, Jim? I mean, I put more value on your opinion than theirs, to be honest. Any sign at all that he’s going to wake up any time soon?”

Jim offered him a rueful grin as he shook his head. “No, Simon, not really. I mean, physically he’s responding well to the treatment and shows a remarkable recovery rate from such intricate surgery. The lung they had to reinflate appears to be healing well even without the respirator and the fact that somehow the bullet didn’t hit any vital organs is little short of a miracle. But the fact remains that he bled out so fast and that his heart stopped at least three times is what’s causing such concern. Not just for me, but for the medics too.

“Gods, Simon! What if he wakes and is seriously compromised? Or even worse if he doesn’t wake at all? Just lies there permanently comatose? I mean, I swear he’ll have a home with me whatever, but I can’t – won’t – contemplate any sort of life without him!”

The horror and sympathy in Simon’s expression was genuine, but he still kept his words upbeat. He had to believe that Sandburg was too stubborn to leave his sentinel unguided. And the affection and commitment he had witnessed between these two was greater than anything he had ever seen before, even within his own loving family. “Well, Jim, I for one don’t think you need to worry about that. That kid adores you. Will do anything for you. Which is not only by taking a bullet for you, but also surviving to keep helping you if he possibly can. You do not give up hope, my friend! Ever! Because there are more folks out there rooting for the both of you than you can ever imagine. And I don’t just mean from MCU. There are so many others in the PD who appreciate that kid for what he is as well as for what he has done for them, and I think he’d be absolutely stunned at the number of his past friends and acquaintances from Rainier who have contacted me, worried about how he’s doing. I know it’ll be a long time until he can have visitors, but I think the both of you will be astounded by how many people there are who can’t wait to come see him.

“No, Jim. Just you concentrate on looking after him, and everything else will fall into place. Folks know that he can’t receive visitors yet, but there’ll be round the clock protection on the pair of you until that bastard’s caught. Or until we’re sure he’s gone from Cascade. And whatever happens, the Castigliano trial will go ahead as soon as you’re free to testify.”

More than a little taken aback at his boss and friend’s vehement declaration, for a moment Jim was lost for words. But when at last he found his voice, he murmured, “Thanks, Simon. Really. I can’t tell you how much I needed to hear that, and it helps, man. Really helps. And one thing I know for sure. When Blair wakes up, he’s going to feel the same way too. To learn how much you care, and so many others also, is going to bowl him over, if in a nice way. Thanks, Simon. I mean that.”

Uncomfortable as always with any sort of emotional outpouring, Simon shrugged awkwardly and muttered gruffly, “Ah, OK, Jim. You’re welcome.

“Anyway, best get moving. Take care, Jim, and give my regards to the kid when he wakes up. I’ll be back to check on you both as soon as I can, OK?”

Knowing his friend only too well, but truly appreciating his support, Jim nodded. “OK, Simon. See you soon!” and grinned wryly as he watched the big man stride away down the corridor towards the exit.

As he turned to retrace his steps to Blair’s cubicle, Jim suddenly frowned in puzzlement. There was something about the cleaner nonchalantly vacuuming the nearby waiting area that pushed all his instinctive buttons. Pausing to study the man covertly for a moment, he realised there was nothing he could pinpoint, just a vague suspicion that he’d seen the guy before. However, since the guy seemed completely relaxed and unworried as he finished up his cleaning and unhurriedly packed up his trolley, Jim didn’t feel an immediate compulsion to confront him, especially as their present uniformed watcher was equally unconcerned. He wasn’t about to ignore it altogether, however, having learned the hard way over the years that his instincts should never be dismissed out of hand.

----------------

As it happened, Jim had every cause to be concerned even if he didn’t realise it right then. The ‘cleaner’ was indeed Blackwood in yet another disguise, and the fact that Jim hadn’t immediately registered anything untoward in the man’s physical responses was purely down to Blackwood’s many years of practise in controlling such reactions while maintaining a coolly nonchalant demeanour. Perhaps under other circumstances when Jim wasn’t running on fumes and totally concentrating on his guide and lover, the sentinel might have picked up some hint of something being not quite kosher, but for now it was as yet too little to act upon. And without Blair to guide him through a sense recall process he wasn’t about to recognise the much-changed person of a man he hadn’t seen in many years. Be that as it may, he unconsciously catalogued the incident, which was later to prove to be crucial within less than twenty-four hours.

-------------------------

Back in his motel room shortly afterwards, Blackwood was making the final preparations for carrying out his plan. Having thoroughly scoped out the ICU and its situation relative to the rest of the hospital wing, he knew exactly where he wanted to make the kill, and how and where to make his escape. The silenced pistol he intended to use would be simple to hide amongst the items on the purloined cleaner’s cart he had already secreted in an unused store cupboard on the hospital’s first floor, and once he had ridden up to the ICU floor and begun his ‘cleaning routine’, it was simply a matter of waiting until Ellison took a bathroom break or some such. He knew it would be impossible to approach the cubicle which held the cop’s little fucktoy since it was never left unguarded, but even if Ellison had some uniform or other accompanying him to the bathroom, Blackwood was sure enough of his own expertise to be able to take them down both swiftly and silently and make his escape. And after that, it was simply a matter of collecting his just reward and getting the hell out of Dodge.

Couldn’t be better.

---------------------

In the early evening of the following day, Blackwood was nonchalantly entering the service elevator that would take him up to the ICU. He had deliberately chosen the time such that, should Ellison be suspicious for any reason on seeing him, it would appear as if Blackwood was simply following a set shift rota. He had also carefully planned the ‘cleaning routine’ he would follow on arrival on the ward such that he would be in the best position to observe his prey and be close enough at hand to carry out his mission as soon as the opportunity arose. Simple. Then again, he mused, a sneering grin briefly stretching thin lips, he just had to hope that Ellison didn’t have a bladder the size of an elephant’s, because he sure didn’t want to have to wait for hours for the man to need to piss.

Arriving on the ICU ward, he casually exited the elevator, pushing his cart before him as he glanced over towards Sandburg’s cubicle. Sure enough, there were two uniforms seated outside, apparently reasonably alert although they were also conversing in quiet tones. All the better if they were getting somewhat lax after several days of inaction.

The one thing he couldn’t possibly have known was that the sentinel, even though exhausted, was now fully functioning again, and that was because the miracle had just recently occurred.

The guide had awoken at last.

-------------------------

Just a couple of hours before Blackwood had set out for the hospital, Jim had been once more seated beside his lover’s bed, gently sponging down Blairs’ face and putting salve on his lips to prevent them from getting dried and cracked. “Here you go, babe,” he whispered fondly. “Gotta keep those lips soft, lover. The more succulent that gorgeous mouth, the better, Chief, and I should know!”

He had hardly expected any response, but his eyes widened in amazement and eager hope when said mouth twitched and a tiny sliver of pink tongue slipped out to lick the lush lower lip. The movement was followed by a small frown wrinkling the smooth brow as Blair clearly reacted to the taste. Leaning eagerly over his guide, Jim murmured encouragingly, “That’s it, babe! Horrible synthetic flavour, ain’t it? S’posed to be better than the regular hospital stuff…? Right! Come on, Chief! Can you wake up enough to tell me how yucky it is?”

A few more seconds passed, then a soft croak answered him. “’S foul, man! Wha’s it…?”

Grinning like a loon, Jim replied happily, “Strawberry flavoured lip balm, babe, or supposed to be! Can you open your eyes, babe? Please?”

In truth, it was the last thing Blair felt like doing, but he had never been able to resist Jim. Although everything hurt like an SOB, he fought to open lids that felt stuck together. Jim was there immediately, carefully wiping his eyes with a moist swab, so after a moment or two he tried again. And managed to open them just enough to get a blurry image of Jim’s handsome face looking down at him, a hopeful, excited expression lighting it up like Christmas. “Hey, man! Been here long?” he muttered, throat dry and raspy, only to have a beaming Jim offer him a cup of iced water and a straw. Tha’s my Jim, he thought woozily but fondly. Great bedside manner….

After taking a few sips to relieve the rawness in his throat, Blair nodded slightly to indicate that he’d had enough for now. There was so much he wanted to know – to catch up on – but he truly felt like shit, and even as he appreciated finding his adored lover at his side, he really, really needed some pain relief. Thankfully, Jim more than anyone could read his guide’s vital signs, and was already reaching for the nurses’ call button. Patting the smaller man’s hand, he murmured reassuringly, “it’s OK, babe. I’m calling for some happy juice for you, because I can see how much you need it. But I think I can speak for everyone, not just me, when I say it’s so good to see you awake at last. You had us worried there for a while, babe. But I knew you could make it. I just knew it!”

Unfortunately, the unwanted moisture that suddenly misted the cornflower blue eyes regarding him so tenderly gave the game away somewhat, but Blair wasn’t going to call his lover on it. Hell, he was happy enough to still be here and aware after all, so why complain? Having said that, there was definitely plenty he needed – wanted – to know, and as soon as, so he sank down gratefully into his pillows with a small, tired smile, and waited as patiently as he could for the pain relief which was uppermost in his present ‘to-do’ list of requirements.

Within moments, one of the nurses arrived, an inquisitive expression on her attractive face. Nurse Brenda Baxter was one of Jim’s favourites, her manner utterly professional, but also caring and empathetic, and she had done a great deal to comfort and encourage Jim as much as caring for his partner. “Hey, Jim, everything OK? What do you need?”

Offering her a beaming smile, Jim replied, “He just woke up, Brenda! But he’s in real pain, so can you give him something?” and he turned back to look at Blair, expression anxious once again as he noted the sheen of sweat beading the young man’s brow, and the increasingly ragged breathing as his lover fought to control the waves of agony washing over him.

Brenda immediately approached the bed, her attention completely focussed even though she smiled warmly into the pain-filled blue eyes that flickered open briefly to look at her. “Hey, honey!” she murmured as she quickly took stock of her patient’s condition. “I’m so glad to see those baby blues at last, and I’ve already alerted Dr Miller, so we’ll get you something for that pain as soon as possible, OK? I just need to quickly check you over, and he’ll be here, I’m sure!”

Carefully and efficiently she did what she needed to do, all the while handling Blair with gentleness and compassion. His immobilised right arm already sported cannulas for the essential blood transfusions he had needed, and for the heavy-duty antibiotics he had had administered since, while his left had the same for the nutrients he had had pumped into him. Added to the necessary but unpopular catheter and the various monitors to which he was attached, any sort of movement had to be done with the utmost caution, so Jim was grateful for the ICU team’s collective expertise, and Brenda’s in particular.

Even as she finished, the door opened to reveal Blair’s attending physician, Dr Steve Miller, someone who was all too familiar with both Jim and Blair, having treated them both on several occasions. It had been a relief for Jim when Blair was first admitted to find out that Dr Miller would be the one to care for his lover, as they both trusted in the man’s capability as well as appreciating his friendly but professional bedside manner.

“Hello, Jim. I gather that our young friend has decided to wake up at last,” he greeted Jim amicably as he moved to Blair’s bedside. As Brenda stepped aside to make room, he smiled gently down into Blair’s pained gaze. “Glad to see you awake, Blair, but I can see you’re in no shape for conversation, eh?”

Even so, Blair tried his best to smile in response, but it was a lost cause as he tensed up, another wave of pain gripping him mercilessly. “S…s…sorry, h…h…hurts,” he whispered, his face screwing up in agony again.

All compassion now, Miller nodded. “I know, son. We’ll give you something for that right now,” and he nodded to Brenda. The nurse quickly swabbed a port in the line and slowly injected the morphine dose he had prescribed for just this moment, and all three watchers studied the young man intently, relaxing in mutual relief when they saw the lines of pain in the young face gradually smooth out as Blair sank back into a natural, healing sleep.

With Blair once again as comfortable as possible for now, Dr Miller took Jim’s arm. “Come outside for a moment, Jim,” he said quietly but firmly. “Now Blair’s awake at last and as comfortable as he can be right now, you should take a moment to yourself. Brenda will stay with him for a while if you need to call your Captain Banks to give him the good news. Once Blair wakes again, we’ll assess the situation, and can discuss his future treatment, OK?”

Jim nodded wearily. “Thanks, Steve. I hope it goes without saying that we’re both truly grateful for yours and your team’s care. I freely admit he did have me worried, but I just had to believe that he wouldn’t give up. Not without a real fight!”

“He’s a scrapper all right!” Miller agreed wryly. “Needless to say though, he still has a lot of healing before him, and to be perfectly honest, I’d really prefer not see either of you in here again, fond as I am of you both.

“Anyhow, how about you go get some coffee, take a few and I’ll see you later, OK?” and with that he gently ushered Jim out of the room before leaving to continue his rounds.

Although Jim was reluctant to leave his lover’s side, he knew that Dr Miller was right, and he did need a bathroom break anyway. Plus he also wanted to update Simon, knowing that his friend was sincerely concerned for Blair’s safety. He might still grouse and snarl, but underneath it he was very fond of his young consultant and guide to Jim, and after all this time, Blair actually understood where he was coming from, and was OK with it. Pausing for a moment to take a couple of deep, relaxing breaths, he looked over at his two current uniformed guards, offering them both a wry grin.

“Well, guys, looks like Sandburg’s finally back with us. Just wanted to let you know how much I – we – appreciate your presence even if I haven’t said it before.

“Anyhow, thanks, guys, and I’m just about to hit the heads then call Captain Banks to give him the good news.”

Both men grinned back, genuinely pleased to hear the good news themselves. Sergeant Murphy was a fifteen-year veteran who was fond of the quirky young observer-turned-consultant, and as a result had learned to appreciate the somewhat irascible Detective Ellison also. As for his partner, a young rookie who had already benefitted from Blair’s advice and voluntary tuition, Officer Ryan Jenks’ pleasure and relief were clear to read on his open face.

“That’s really great news, Detective,” Murphy responded. “But I’m still sending Ryan with you just in case! Just following orders, sir!”

Shaking his head but grinning ruefully Jim replied, “Yeah, I know, Murph! And don’t think I hold it against you! But if you don’t mind, I want to get moving. The sooner I can get back to Blair’s side the better.”

Nodding understandingly, Jenks got to his feet. “No problem, sir. When you’re ready?”

Jim turned to go, but was distracted by the sight of the same cleaner as yesterday, apparently absorbed in swabbing down the corridor leading towards the bathrooms. Pausing for a moment to study the man, he frowned in perplexity. He might well be still running on fumes, but the mere fact that his guide and lover was back with him in spirit, even if now sleeping normally seemed to have rebooted his sluggish senses enough to make him pay attention to the seemingly innocuous menial worker. And there was something…something…? Holy shit! That was it! New disguise notwithstanding, that was the bastard he had glimpsed peering down the scope of his sniper rifle! Fucking Jed Blackwood, no doubt about it!

At that moment, Blackwood glanced up and met Jim’s gaze, and all pretence of innocence was dropped. A ferocious grimace darkening his harsh features, Blackwood reached for the silenced pistol hidden under a pile of dusters even as Jim roughly shoved young Jenks behind him, simultaneously grabbing for the young rookie’s firearm. Not permitted by hospital regs to carry his own handgun in ICU despite the circumstances, no way was he going to leave himself or anyone else open to Blackwood’s murderous intent. If Jenks was offended by his presumption, then tough.

“Freeze! Cascade police!” he growled, even as he drew a bead on his target. But unsurprisingly, the warning was ignored as the furious assassin threw himself aside, squeezing the trigger as he dropped to the floor. However, exceptional as his reactions were, they were no match for a sentinel protecting his guide and his tribe, even functioning at half-speed. Whereas Blackwood’s silenced shot whizzed past mere inches away from where Jim’s head had been to impact in the opposite wall, Jim’s shot hit its mark and the assassin went down, shot cleanly between the eyes, a look of fury and disbelief the last expression to settle on his dying face.

Certain that Blackwood was dead, having heard the man’s heart cease to beat, Jim wasn’t about to wait around while the semi-controlled mayhem erupted around him. Handing back the handgun to its pale-faced and somewhat shaky owner, he simply offered the young man a brief, half grin, murmuring distractedly, “Thanks for the use of this, Ryan. I’ll leave the scene to you and Murph for now, OK? I’m going back to check on Sandburg.”

Too shaken to offer more than a mute nod in response, Jenks turned to face his partner, taking comfort in Sergeant Murphy’s stolid presence. Clapping the younger man amicably on the shoulder, Murphy simply muttered, “’S’OK, partner. I saw everything, and you did nothing wrong. I can attest to that. I guess that no-one, not even I could have prevented Ellison from acting so fast, and to be honest, I can’t say I blame him. He and Sandburg are real close, and like any good partner, they’d do anything for each other. And as for his reactions, well, you and I both know there’s something pretty special about him. ‘Nuff said.

“So, let’s get on with securing the scene.”

---------------------------

Part 5: On the Mend:

Twenty-four hours later, Blair’s room in ICU:

Although still in considerable discomfort despite his most recent dose of painkillers, Blair was awake and alert enough to study Jim intently, his expression direct and inquisitive and his desire to be brought fully up to speed clearly discernible by his sentinel lover. Even though Jim would have preferred to hold off from disclosing everything that had occurred in the past couple of days until Blair was feeling a bit stronger, he knew only too well that such an excuse wouldn’t sit at all well with his stubborn guide. Anything that affected Jim was of paramount importance to his loyal partner, and it wasn’t worth the aggravation of dealing with an antsy guide to demur.

As it happened, Blair had slept through all the ruckus carrying on outside his room, the combination of strong painkillers and his own exhaustion enough to keep him under, so he had had no idea that anything out of the ordinary had occurred. In truth, Jim had actually been relieved insofar as his young lover had been spared the distress and disruption which could have compromised his recovery at such an early stage. Plenty of healing rest was what was needed, and Blair had managed several hours of it. However, Jim also knew exactly how much stronger his guide was both emotionally and physically than most folks might believe if judging him by his relatively small stature, emotional sensitivity and almost too pretty looks. In fact, Blair was far more resilient than most – hell, he’d had to be in order to deal with all the crap Jim had thrown at him over time whether intentionally or not – so Jim knew he had to comply with as full an explanation as he could. It wasn’t as if Blair was completely unaware that something momentous had happened while he slept, because on waking several hours later he had been given the gist of what had gone down, and knew that Blackwood had been taken out of the picture, but knew nothing more of how it had actually happened other than it had been his lover who had done the deed. And not unsurprisingly, that was his greatest cause for concern. Therefore, now he was a little more aware, he wanted – needed – to learn as much as Jim could tell him. Knowing this, and offering the younger man a wry grin while gently squeezing the smaller hand under his, Jim began.

“OK, Chief, I know you want to hear everything, but before I go into detail, how much have you taken in so far? No point in me repeating myself after all, although I’m sure you’ll want clarification on quite a lot of stuff. Don’t exhaust yourself unnecessarily, but tell me what you can, huh?”

His voice still somewhat hoarse and raspy, but much improved already, Blair grinned ruefully and replied. “Uh, I remember you saying that Blackwood had come to the hospital, but you recognised him in time before he could get the drop on you. And you told me that no-one else had been injured, but other than that, everything’s fuzzy. I’m just so relieved that it’s over, man. I mean, it was a righteous shoot, wasn’t it?” he added worriedly.

“Yeah, it was, babe,” Jim assured him. “I had two uniforms as witnesses, as well as a couple of hospital staff members, including Nurse Brenda, so I’m not worried about the outcome. I’ve already had my initial interview here with IA, and although they’re acting like the suspicious assholes they are, I honestly couldn’t care less. Simon was with me, and he wasn’t taking any nonsense either. The only thing I was concerned about was if they laid any blame on young Ryan Jenks for giving up his sidearm to me. But like I told them, he didn’t have an option, but he certainly didn’t do anything wrong so I’m hoping that he won’t get into hot water because of it. Any fault was mine, but since it meant that I got to take down that murdering asshole Blackwood, I’m not apologising for anything.”

Blair offered him a weak grin even though his eyes were wide and anxious. Making a huge effort to squeeze Jim’s hand comfortingly, he murmured, “I’m so glad you saw him in time, Jim. But how did you recognise him after all? I mean, up until the courthouse shooting, neither of us had anything other than a creepy feeling of being watched to go by. At least, in my case.”

“To be honest, Chief, I only spotted him at the last minute at the courthouse, and that was only because my hearing kicked in just in time to hear him draw his rifle bolt back. I homed in on the kill site and saw him looking down the scope as he pulled the trigger. It was only for a fraction of a second, and it still wasn’t in time to save you, babe,” he added, his expression anguished. “Thing is, babe, that other than that for some reason the senses hadn’t really been up to speed for a while, and when you went down, so did they. So it wasn’t until you woke again that I recognised him on the ward, because his disguise would surely have fooled me otherwise. And everyone else too, like as not,” he tailed off morosely.

Looking thoughtful, Blair stared into the middle distance for a moment while he considered Jim’s words. After a while, he smiled gently and met Jim’s quizzical gaze again. “I don’t really know what was going on, Jim, but I’m thinking that perhaps the senses had been over-stretched earlier on while we were on the alert for Blackwood. You had to have been exhausted, and you’re not Superman after all, so no need for guilt! They clicked in again when needed after all, and perhaps afterwards they shut down in order to recuperate, especially since I wasn’t there in body or spirit to back you up. At least, I don’t think I was! Seems like a natural safety mechanism to me, man! Even sentinels need down-time, and once I was at least compos mentis again the senses came back online. And just in time again.

“It’s OK, man,” his lover tried to comfort him. “I’m still here, and I’d do it again, just like you would for me, lover. It’s who we are now. I don’t regret it, Jim. Well, maybe while I’m recovering,” he continued with a weak but wicked grin. “I’m guaranteed to be crotchety, but you know that already. But please, man, try not to overdo the guilt trip, huh? Blackwood’s gone, and that’s what counts.”

Jim studied him seriously for a moment, knowing that Blair was completely sincere. At the same time he knew it wouldn’t be as easy as that to set aside his guilt, but for Blair he’d do his best. His guide deserved nothing less of him, just as he deserved all the attention Jim could lavish on him during his long and painful recovery. That was a given.

“I hear you, babe,” he finally answered with a wry grin. “But now it’s time for your next dose, babe. I can see the stress building in your face and I know you’re hurting, so I’m going to call Brenda with the happy juice, no argument!”

And it was testament to the amount of pain Blair was actually in that he didn’t demur at all.

--------------------------

Several hours later, Blair once again rose reluctantly to consciousness, trying hard not to feel sorry for himself since as far as he was concerned, Jim needed his support right now as much as Blair needed his lover’s comfort. Despite Jim’s brave words earlier, Blair was worried about the outcome of the inquiry simply because it was a given that IA would be looking at the incident in microscopic detail. No matter that an assassin had been taken down. All they seemed to be interested in was whether it had been achieved ‘by the book’. As if that could have been a consideration given the circumstances! Goddess! Did these guys actually live in the real world, as seen from the aspect of cops serving on the front line? Maybe they’d been there once, but how soon one forgets. Sometimes he did wonder. But whatever the case, he would be there for his sentinel, however he was needed. He held no delusions that his word would be taken with anything but a large pinch of salt given his still somewhat tarnished reputation, but surely it would stand for something even in their jaundiced opinion. He had to hope so, anyhow.

Peeling open heavy lids, he blinked a few times before turning his head towards the seat where Jim was usually to be found. And saw Simon there instead. Frowning in consternation, he shuffled through his still somewhat muddled thoughts and belatedly remembered telling Jim something along the lines of the sentinel taking a few hours to go home, have a long, hot shower and a good night’s sleep in their big bed seeing as he wouldn’t be awake again for some time. Smiling to himself, he mentally patted himself on the back as it seemed as if for once Jim had done as asked. The man needed some time to himself for sure, because even Blair couldn’t quite get to grips with how long he’d been here already.

Coughing quietly in an attempt to clear his throat, he murmured huskily, “Hey, Simon, how’re you doing?”

Taken a little by surprise since the big man had apparently been dozing in his seat, Simon shook himself slightly as turned to face Blair, his face breaking into a wide smile. “Doing good, kid, seeing as you’re awake! How do you feel?”

Returning the grin as best he could, Blair replied, “Not too bad, Captain. And happy to see you here too, ‘cos I guess that means Jim finally obeyed instructions and went back to the loft for a few!”

Grin growing even broader, Simon answered smugly, “Yeah, kid, at last! Took some persuasion – not least when I told him I’d rat him out to you if he didn’t do as he was told – but yes, he left a few hours ago. I said I’d stay until you woke up so he gave in.

“But seriously, Blair, how are you feeling? It goes without saying how good it is to see you awake, but I’m well aware of how much pain you must be in. Do you need anything yet, or is there something I can do for you?”

Blair winced a little as his various aches and pains started to make themselves known, but there was something he needed to know first. He admitted - albeit reluctantly - that the painkillers were all very well at this stage, even if they went against the grain for someone who preferred not to dose himself with chemicals, but they made him feel fuzzy and a little confused, so he wanted to do without for now. He needed as clear a head as he could get while he had the chance to question Jim’s boss and friend.

“I’m OK for the time being, thanks, Simon,” he replied, “although if you could get me a drink of water I’d be grateful. Mouth feels pretty dry right now.”

“No problem,” the big man answered as he reached for the water jug on the nightstand. “This should still be cold enough, because the nurse only brought it in an hour or so ago. Here you go,” and he offered Blair a half-filled glass with a straw. “Small sips – you know the drill!” he murmured with wry humour.

Grinning slightly in response, Blair took as much as needed, his still somewhat sore throat appreciating the soothing moisture. Once satisfied, he relaxed back into his pillows again as Simon replaced the glass on the table. “Thanks, man, that feels a lot better. I guess I’ll need something stronger soon, but if you don’t mind, can I ask you something? I’d like to take the opportunity now while I’m not all doped up. And while Jim’s not here,” he added, hoping that his sometime boss and friend would understand where he was coming from and wouldn’t take umbrage on Jim’s behalf.

Simon regarded him shrewdly for a moment. Tone slightly wary, he replied, “I’m guessing this has to do with the IA enquiry, right?” and when Blair nodded in response he frowned a little, lips thinning as he braced himself for whatever the young man had to say. He guessed that Jim had deliberately omitted some of the details in order to preserve his young partner’s peace of mind, but in actual fact Simon thought he knew Blair well enough by now to know that that wouldn’t cut it with the perspicacious guide even with his normally super-sharp intellect temporarily dampened by medication. Jim might have the best intentions, but he really ought to realise by now that Blair didn’t want to be coddled like that. He was so much tougher than that, and would only be angered at being kept in the relative dark. Heaving a resigned sigh, Simon finally nodded. “OK, kid. What did you want to know?” he muttered reluctantly.

Looking relieved, although still anxious, Blair said bluntly, “Is Jim in trouble? I promise I won’t take it out on him when he gets back for not telling me everything, but I can’t help feeling he’s trying to do his BPS thing again. Trying to save me from worrying. But I want to know, Captain! I need to know so I can help him deal with it. You’d think that after all we’ve been through he’d realise by now that the protective thing goes both ways, and just because I’m laid up right now doesn’t mean I can’t at least offer support and understanding. I honestly don’t want to put you in a difficult position, but I would truly appreciate it if you can bring me up to speed.”

“Fair enough, Blair. I get it, I really do. And you’re right. Jim should know that there’s a time and place for being noble, but this isn’t it. So, what has he told you already?”

Blair repeated everything Jim had told him, carefully studying Simon’s reactions. He could tell immediately by the sour and pained expression on the big man’s dark features that he had been correct insofar as Jim hadn’t been completely up front about the inquiry’s conclusions. Now he just needed to know how bad it was.

Simon removed his wire-rimmed spectacles so he could scrub his face with his free hand, but the delaying tactic only gave him a moment’s respite. Replacing his spectacles, he grimaced wryly as he met Blair’s wide-eyed gaze again. “OK, Blair. So yes, IA did come here for the first interview, because no way was Jim going to leave your bedside to go to Central PD, and I told them so. They didn’t like it, but so what? And I insisted on sitting in on it even if I couldn’t officially comment. I know what they’re like under normal circumstances, and these sure weren’t normal. Not in their eyes anyway.

“Thing is, they questioned Jim over and over again about the actual shooting, and what immediately preceded it, but kept harping on and on about how Jim could possibly have recognised the shooter. See, Jim let slip that he recognised the guy from the courthouse incident. I guess he must have been too exhausted to give it a second thought. And of course Detective ‘Asshole’ Anderson’s ears pricked up straight away. ‘You’re telling us you could see the perp from a building clear across the block from the courthouse? How can that be, Detective?’ he says, all fake innocence. ‘Are you telling us that you really are one of those ‘sentinels’ your little partner wrote about after all?’

“Luckily, Jim managed to hold on to his temper, and reminded the asshole that he had already admitted to having better sight and hearing than most, but you could tell they weren’t buying it. Not that he could have cared less at the time, or me for that matter. Truth to tell, he was more concerned that young Officer Jenks didn’t get reprimanded for giving up his firearm, because like Jim told them, he didn’t give the rookie a chance to refuse. He needed a firearm and he needed it immediately, especially as he knew exactly who he was looking at. So all being well, Jenks shouldn’t suffer too much from being overruled by a senior detective.

“Jim, on the other hand, hasn’t been cleared for duty yet even though anything they think they can pin on him has to be tenuous at best. It’s not so much that they’ll ever be able to accuse him of anything punishable, but they’re sure having a great time stirring up the whole ‘sentinel’ can of worms again. And I guess that’s why he didn’t tell you everything Blair. Neither of you deserve to feel guilty on any account, but I guess that’s not how you – or he – see things.”

Tailing off, he watched Blair’s reactions carefully, genuinely concerned about the devastation writ large on the attractive, mobile features and the temporarily faraway look in the large blue eyes. He was struck once again by the depth of love and loyalty the young guide had for his sentinel partner and lover, and although in one way he envied such commitment, he also acknowledged that it would be way too heavy for him to deal with. And perhaps that was no bad thing.

After a minute or two, Blair shook himself minutely and pulled himself back from wherever he’d been. Meeting Simon’s worried gaze he offered the big man a weak smile, which didn’t reach the hurting blue eyes. “Thanks, Simon. For telling me. I do understand why Jim kept those details to himself for now, although I’d like to think that he’d tell me in his own time. But I needed to know. So thank you for that. And no, I won’t take it out on him, I promise. He has enough to cope with already without my ragging him.

“But goddess, why the hell can’t they leave us alone? What more do I have to do to clear up my mess? How long can this go on for, Simon? Just when we thought things were going right for us at last, that damned paper crops up again!” He couldn’t help it, seeing as he was feeling pretty feeble and overwrought, so the moisture springing up in his beautiful blue eyes had to spill over, even though he fought to control it. But Simon was having none of his young friend’s embarrassment this time. Reaching out, he patted Blair’s blanket-covered knee.

“You have nothing to be ashamed of, Blair, you hear me? Nothing! You’re the one who’s always said that nothing happens without reason, but if this shit’s coming down on you and Jim again, you’re not alone this time, OK? I have your back, as do all your friends and colleagues in MCU. And all those other folks who’ve been nagging at me to keep them updated about your condition. And let me tell you, there are plenty of them!

“Anyhow, I’m going to do my ‘captain’ schtick now and get you some pain relief. And I won’t take ‘no’ for an answer. Because I know – I’m sure - things won’t seem so bad after you’ve had some sleep. And once you see your partner again. Am I right?”

Blair would have liked to argue, but he knew very well that it wouldn’t sway Simon at all. And indeed he did feel the need for pain relief, so perhaps Simon was right. And when he woke again, he was certain Jim would be here again, and that was what he needed. And always would.

-------------------------

Part 6: Recuperation, and Decisions to Make:

Following morning, Blair’s ICU room:

The next time Blair woke up, two things struck him immediately despite the ever-present aches and pains and post-medication fuzziness: firstly, he needed to pee really urgently, and secondly, Jim was back in his usual chair next to Blair’s bed. Since the hated catheter had been removed now he had regained consciousness he had progressed to using a portable urinal and bedpan, although he had been promised that as soon as he was mobile enough, he could begin to use the bathroom. But that wouldn’t be until he was moved to a regular ward. And that day couldn’t come soon enough in his opinion. Jim was so good at helping out in any way he could, assuring Blair that he was more than happy to do so, but toileting in company was something Blair had always found embarrassing. Nevertheless, for now needs must, so he groaned softly as he tried to shift slightly to look over at his lover. “Ah, Jim, man,” he croaked hoarsely. “Um…could you grab the portable pisser, please? I…I need to go real bad!”

“Sure, babe, no problem,” Jim replied without a hint of a smirk. He knew very well how his young lover felt about being handled under these conditions, especially so intimately even by his doting partner. This was nothing like the privacy of their own bedroom, and Blair was sure to be feeling even more vulnerable than usual, so he kept his manner completely matter-of-fact as he reached for the requisite item. Without fuss, he simply raised the sheet covering his lover’s lower body just enough to be able to position the urinal as needed and then smiled gently up into Blair’s anxious gaze. “There you go, babe. Take your time.”

Closing his eyes in part relief and part embarrassment, Blair sighed as he let go, so grateful for Jim’s utterly pragmatic attitude. He thanked the goddess that the big cop had had medical training in the military, enough at least to ensure that Blair was handled correctly and carefully, not only by himself but by others too. And to date neither of them had had cause for complaint when it came to the nursing staff in the ICU.

Finished at last he opened his eyes and peeked up to meet Jim’s affectionate gaze. “Thanks, man,” he murmured ruefully. “Don’t think I could have held on much longer. Now I’m more or less awake and aware, they seem to be constantly forcing liquids down me. Food too, if you can call it that!” he snarked morosely. It was true that he was grateful to finally be eating at last, but the soft, bland foods he was given took some effort to get down. But needs must if he wanted to get strong enough to be moved to that regular room, so he stuck it out and ate as much as he could, to the satisfaction of Dr Miller and his staff.

“No worries, Chief, as Megs would say. I’ll get rid of this, then we can reconnect for a while until the doc does his rounds – or unless you need more meds.” So saying, he quickly and efficiently stoppered the urinal and headed for the door. “Back in a few, babe!”

Gazing after him fondly, once again Blair thanked his lucky stars for the gift of Jim’s love and support, especially under these circumstances. Sure, he’d had to do his own share of caring on occasion when it had been Jim who had been injured, but it never occurred to him to make comparisons. And it certainly never occurred to him to lay any blame on his sentinel for his current condition. As he had told Jim more than once already, he would do it again in a moment because it was the right thing to do. End of! However, the grin disappeared from his face, to be replaced by a grimace of discomfort as he felt the first twinges of the onset of cramp in his right foot. It was something he’d had to put up with on several occasions so far, since his range of movement was still so limited, but once again he could usually rely on his lover’s talented hands to relieve the knots. And once again, he wasn’t in the least surprised when Jim hurried back into the cubicle, a concerned expression on his handsome features.

“You OK, Chief? I felt you tense up. You getting cramp again?”

Nodding stiffly, Blair replied with a wince, “Yeah, man. Sorry to have to ask again, but it’s my right foot….” He didn’t even question Jim’s comment about ‘feeling’ his pain, because the bond between them seemed to have strengthened even more since his hospitalisation, and he wasn’t about to complain. It was what it was, and they could discuss it later if need be. Or not. Whatever, Jim simply moved to the foot of the bed and gently uncovered his guide’s foot, using all his sensitivity in his touch to work out the knots and loosen up the appendage, watching as the young man’s face relaxed and smoothed into an expression of pure contentment.

“Oh, man! I’ll give you ten years to stop that!” he murmured. “Thanks, Jim. You’re a god!”

“If I am, you helped make me so!” Jim replied with a self-deprecating chuckle as he recovered his lover’s legs. “So, apart from this, how do you feel, babe? What’s the pain level like now?”

Blair considered for a moment, then replied honestly since there was no point in trying to deceive his personal organic lie-detector. “It could be worse, man. I mean, yeah, everything’s stiff and sore, but not agonising like it has been at times. So no, I’d like to hold off on the pain meds for a bit longer. I’d like to have at least some conversation with you, lover. And can I say you look a whole lot better today. I’m glad you did what I asked and had some time to yourself at home. And I’m glad Simon backed me up too!”

Jim grinned wryly. “That he did, Chief! Told me he’d rat me out to you if I didn’t go home, so I wasn’t going to take a chance on that. And yes, to be honest it was good to have a few hours in a proper bed.”

“Glad to hear it, man. And it was good to be able to talk to Simon for a while too. He caught me up on a few things I needed to know.”

Instantly wary, Jim studied him intently for a moment. “I’m guessing he went into a bit more detail about the inquiry,” he muttered eventually. “Might have guessed!” as he watched Blair nod slightly, the young man’s expression concerned but thankfully not at all accusatory.

“Yeah, he did, Jim, but only because I pressed him into it. I hope you’re not mad at me, but I really wanted to know.”

Jim would have liked to be annoyed at his lover, but in all honesty he knew that Blair had a right to hear everything. It was just that he’d wanted to keep his thoughts to himself for just a bit longer. Sighing resignedly, he offered his lover a rueful half-grin. “No, Chief, I’m not mad at you. I would have told you everything, I swear, but wanted you to have a bit longer to get your strength up. But since you’ve heard the most of it now anyway, let me just say that as far as I’m concerned, IA can go hang themselves if they’re so pathetic that they need to get their jollies by rehashing old news. I no longer feel the same fear of being ‘outed’ and regarded as a freak. And why I should have had it in the first place amazes – and shames - me, truth to tell. But now it’s nothing like as bad, thanks in the most part to your unstinting support and encouragement for all this time.

“Thing is, babe, that after all we’ve done to create a worthwhile partnership to benefit the PD, this latest fiasco has shown me that there are too many there who don’t deserve us. Pure and simple. I know you think that being a cop is my life, Chief, but I can assure you now that it isn’t any longer. And hasn’t been for a while now, to be brutally honest. I’d never diss the uniform or the department and what it stands for, but can we say I’m increasingly disillusioned by the attitude of some of our so-called brothers in blue. There are other ways in which I can serve and protect the tribe, and right now I’m seriously considering looking into them.

“But not until you’re fit enough to share your thoughts, babe. We’re equal partners in this team, and whatever we do from now on has to work for both of us. Whatever we decide, we have plenty of time to think about it, because I’m taking indefinite leave to take care of you once you’re home, babe. It’s something I want and need to do, Blair, so no arguments, OK?”

For once it was Blair who was lost for words, although the depth of his emotions was clear to read in his wide blue gaze. A sheen of moisture glazed them, but he refused to allow his tears to fall this time. Instead, he simply conveyed his love and support for Jim in the squeeze of his hand. He had no doubt at all about the strength and sincerity of Jim’s conviction, and now was not the time for discussion, so he essayed a wan smile and swallowed hard against the lump of emotion lodged in his throat.

However, before he could utter a word, the door opened to reveal Dr Miller, so all further words and thoughts were set aside for now. But definitely not forgotten.

----------------------

It had to be said that after Dr Miller’s departure, all thoughts of future employment were sidelined while the pair took on board the doctor’s decision. Professing himself very satisfied with Blair’s progress so far, Miller told him that he was prepared to transfer Blair to a regular ward, which entailed moving into a private room. Grinning at the incredulous expression on his young patient’s face, he simply declared that Cascade PD was covering the costs, so not to worry about the VIP treatment or restrictions in his medical insurance cover. “After all, Blair, it’s the least they can do considering their decision to withdraw your protection detail, I should have thought,” he added soberly. “So don’t look gift horses, and all that. All being well, you should be able to be moved into your new room tomorrow afternoon.

“Which means, Jim, that I expect you to do a repeat of last night. Go home when Blair is settled for the night, and get some quality sleep. We both want you fresh and raring to go once your partner’s move takes place, OK? Doctor’s orders!”

And in the light of such positive news, who was Jim to argue? Especially in the face of Blair’s uninhibited joy. Light at the end of the tunnel indeed, at least as far as his lover’s healing process was going.

--------------------

Following afternoon, Blair’s new room:

Despite a certain amount of residual discomfort following his move, Blair’s grin was wide and infectious as he gazed around his new quarters. “Oh, man! This is almost five-star, isn’t it, Jim? I didn’t even know there were such sumptuous private rooms available here. At least, not for the likes of me!”

“And why not, babe? If anyone deserves some spoiling, it’s you, Chief, so do as Dr Miller says and don’t question it. This is so much better than a public ward, so all being well your recovery should be much quicker. You’ll have your own PT instructor, and you have your own ensuite bathroom too, so make the most of it. Nicer for your visitors too since they’re now allowed to come. Can I pass the word that you’re open for business now, babe? Simon reckons there’s a whole raft of folks can’t wait to check up on you.”

In truth, Blair had his doubts about that, but in the face of Jim’s eagerness, he wasn’t about to argue. “Ah, sure, man. That would be fine. And give you a bit of breathing space too, man. When are you going back to work? I’m sure you need a change of scene.”

Jim frowned a little then, pursing his lips before answering. “Well, to be honest, Chief, Simon has asked me to start back in a couple of days now you’re settled in here, but it’ll only be riding a desk for now anyway. I mean, I should get my gun back and be cleared for active duty as soon as I’ve tested out on the range again, which I can’t foresee as being a problem. But unless there’s good reason to do so, I’m in no hurry to get back out there. Thanks to the hoo-ha raised by IA, there’s sure to be a resurgence of interest in my senses, and I have no intention of being hi-jacked by nosy reporters. Not that it’ll be more than a five-minute wonder until the next story breaks, but still.

“And don’t start with your own guilt trip, babe!” he added sternly. “This was always going to be a possibility, diss mess or no diss mess, and it only angers me insofar as it could interfere with my job. Anyhow, I’ve got plenty of leave saved up, so Simon already knows that I intend to take it once you’re discharged. And once you’re ready to go back to work, at least part-time, we’ll begin to think about where we both want to go from there, OK?”

There wasn’t really much Blair could say to that, even though he still harboured some doubts as to whether Jim was really serious about giving up his career in the police, and since the last thing he wanted was to irritate his lover, he held his tongue, for now at least.

----------------------

A week later, Blair was both ebullient at times and frustrated at others, which was hardly surprising at this stage in his recovery according to both Jim and the medical staff’s opinion. As far as his general mobility was concerned, he had made great strides, so keen was he to be released from his ‘five-star prison cell’ as he had begun to call it. Comfortable it may be, but he was still going stir crazy, since the only time he left it was to go to his therapy sessions. He knew he should be grateful, and he was, but it seemed like forever since he had been at home in the loft with Jim, and that tempting reward was enough to make him double his efforts to secure his release. However, thanks to the extent of the damage done to his right shoulder and chest, that arm was still virtually unusable as yet, and had to be immobilised for most of the time unless during PT sessions, the latter inevitably causing him both great pain and angry frustration. He tried very hard not to take out his anger on Jim or the nursing staff, but sometimes it had to be said that he was nearly reduced to tears at his perceived lack of progress.

In actual fact, the extensive soft tissue damage was almost completely healed, but the internal skeletal and muscular damage was taking far longer. The high velocity bullet that had entered his back had cracked the scapula and the much larger and messier exit wound had severely damaged two ribs high in his chest as well as the shoulder joint such that as yet Dr Miller was still wary of making an unduly optimistic prognosis. Knowing his young patient’s determination of old, he was certain that Blair would make a reasonable recovery, but whether it would entail regaining the full use of his right arm was as yet to be ascertained, as was the final extent of his fine motor control. The necessity for further corrective surgery on the shoulder joint was a distinct possibility also.

However, the good news was that he didn’t see why Blair couldn’t be discharged shortly since he knew that the young man would have more than adequate care at home. The PT sessions would have to continue for the foreseeable future, but it shouldn’t be too long until he could return to the PD for a few hours’ desk duty if he so wished. As Blair remarked wryly to Jim, he had a lot to be grateful for, and chastised himself for feeling sorry for himself at times even though Jim insisted that such feelings were only natural. And on the plus side, Blair had indeed been utterly amazed – and shyly pleased – about the number of visitors that he had received, which had cheered him up no end.

Meanwhile, Jim had indeed gone back to work, and was heartened by the reception he got from their friends and colleagues in MCU. It had to be said that there were more than a few mutterings and snide comments from those in other units, but by and large they weren’t worth the effort of responding. As expected, he immediately tested out at the range again, so was cleared to work in the field, although he was careful to keep the senses dialled down if he needed to go out on a case. Although his control had been very good for some time now since he had actually embraced his gift, it simply wasn’t worth the risk of a zone-out without his guide to back him up. And truth be told, he had no real wish to take on more problematic cases without Blair at his side even though he was willing to accompany Joel or Megan if needed, and working within a team was a given. In his view, though, even better was when he finished for the day and was able to return to the hospital to catch up with his lover’s progress, eat dinner with him and generally hang out until Blair more or less verbally pushed him out of the door to go home and get some sleep in his own bed. It was a busy schedule, but a pleasant enough one for now, and would inevitably change again once Blair was finally discharged.

However, what he hadn’t yet revealed to Blair was that despite the inevitable churning of the PD’s internal rumour mill, he had actually escaped any media interest, for which he was more than relieved. On the other hand, he had learned that there had been a brief flurry after the shooting, but it was actually directed at Blair rather than the putative ‘sentinel’, along the lines of ‘Self-proclaimed Fraud turns Hero’ and similar unsavoury sensationalist trash which Blair didn’t need to know about, especially since he had been incommunicado for so long there had been no material available for a follow-up. It was therefore quickly eclipsed by the next newsworthy headline, and Jim sincerely hoped that it wouldn’t rear its ugly head again once Blair was finally back home where he belonged.

----------------------

Part 7: Home again, home again:

Following week, the loft:

“Oh, man! It’s so good to be back!” Jim grinned down at his lover who was presently seated in a borrowed wheelchair just inside the loft. Blair sounded so relieved and happy, but emotional too, and Jim could hardly blame him for that, seeing as he was experiencing very similar feelings also. They had literally just arrived, but for the young guide it was after way too many weeks in hospital, however well he had been treated. It was hardly surprising then that despite his exhaustion he was gazing hungrily around him, trying to take in every detail of their home. After all, there had been more than a few distressing moments when it wasn’t at all certain that he would ever see it again.

“Come on, babe,” Jim murmured, pushing the wheelchair further into the room. “You want to settle on the sofa for a while, or do you need to get to bed? I know you’ve only just arrived, but let’s face it, babe. After so long stuck in a hospital bed with relatively little exercise other than PT, you know you’re going to be feeling washed out for a while yet.”

Blair turned to look up at him, his expression rueful. “I know, man. And it’s true. But I really do want to stay down here with you for a while. Take in the domesticity!” he added with a smirk. “They were so good to me on the ward, but I still couldn’t wait to get sprung. I just hope I won’t be too much of a burden to you for too long.”

Jim reached down and squeezed his good shoulder. “Don’t worry about that, babe. I told you I wanted to take the time off to care for you, and I know it’ll be more a case of trying to stop you doing too much rather than waiting on you hand and foot. Now you’re back where you belong, the real healing can take place, and you’ll be up and raring to go in no time.”

They both knew that he was probably being overly optimistic, since Blair’s right arm and shoulder were still immobilised in a sling, and there was plenty more therapy in his near future to try and get full use of it again, but other than that, he was determined to at least get his strength back so he could do for himself as much as possible, and eventually even return to the PD for a few hours. Nevertheless, he grinned gratefully up at his sentinel lover. “Thanks, man. I can always count on you to say the right thing to keep my spirits up.

“So, yes, if you can help get me to the sofa, I’ll be perfectly happy for a while.”

“You’re wish is my command, babe,” Jim snickered as he pushed the chair closer to the sofa. “When you’re settled, do you want me to bring over your laptop? Give you something to do while I sort out something for dinner?”

Blair beamed up at him. “Yeah, man, that’d be great. I can carry on with replying to all the emails I received, and send ‘thank yous’ to all those kind folks who sent me cards and such. It was so good of them, Jim,” he continued, eyes reflecting his gratitude as well as genuine bafflement that so many people should care about him.

Jim patted his lover’s cheek gently even as he shook his head in fond admonition. “Whyever shouldn’t they, babe? You’ve always had more impact on people than you think, even though you don’t believe me when I keep telling you so. Just accept it as it is, OK? You deserve all the goodwill they can offer, so no more arguments, OK?”

Blair smirked wryly up at him. “If you say so, man. But it’s going to take me a while to get it all done anyway, seeing as I can only use my left hand!”

“That’s as may be!” Jim replied smartly. “But you can still type faster than me even one-handed, so don’t knock it!”

With that he reached for Blair’s laptop bag and pulled out the precious object. It was something that had helped alleviate Blair’s boredom in hospital, for which Jim had been very grateful. He had been able to bring it in for his lover as soon as Dr Miller had given him the go-ahead, knowing that his young patient had a higher frustration level than most if not able to exercise his formidable brain, even though still lacking in physical strength and energy. The good thing was that it hadn’t been until the latter part of his stay, so any hints of adverse media coverage on the internet had long been out of popular circulation so as yet Blair still had no idea about that early flurry of interest.

With Blair settled as comfortably as possible, supported by a stack of strategically placed cushions and pillows, the young man happily set about his self-imposed task of responding to his many friends and acquaintances. Knowing that the work would keep his lover occupied for a while, Jim decided to do some routine chores before sorting out the fixings for a light supper. He quickly sorted through the small amount of Blair’s laundry, and added it to the hamper in the bathroom, intending to take care of it later that evening. He also double-checked that everything was set up as it should be in their bedroom.

Although he had been a little reluctant to give them the go-ahead at first, Dr Miller had been persuaded to allow Blair to use the upstairs bedroom as long as Jim helped him with the stairs for the first few days. Knowing that that was a given in their case, he had agreed, much to both their satisfaction. So now the room was set up with everything Jim could think of to suit his injured lover’s needs, and all he himself needed now was to have the young man in his arms again. Smiling smugly to himself, he was about to descend the stairs when a small frown twitched his brow. The hint of cigars alerted him to Simon’s approach, and although he knew he should be glad that his boss and friend should want to welcome Blair home, he couldn’t help a small pang of jealous irritation since he would have preferred to have Blair to himself for their first few hours at home.

Nevertheless, he trotted downstairs and nodded over at the door when Blair peeked questioningly up at him. “Simon’s on his way, babe. Are you up to visiting with him for a while?”

“Ah, sure, Jim. I’ll be fine. And I need to thank him for keeping me in the loop about the guys and gals at work amongst other things. He’s been so good to me I can hardly credit it.”

Jim grinned ruefully then. “He’s way fonder of you than you would believe, babe, but why shouldn’t he be? So, I’ll let him in…,” and with that he threw open the door, smirking at the scowl that greeted him as the big captain lowered the hand he had raised to knock.

“You know, Jim, that routine can get very old!” he groused unconvincingly. “Maybe just one of these days you’ll allow me to announce my arrival the normal way!”

His expression of chagrin equally unconvincing, Jim replied, “I guess so, Simon, but where would be the fun in that? Anyhow, come in. Blair’s settled on the sofa, so go ahead and make yourself at home. Beer?”

Nodding cheerfully, Simon said, “Sure, Jim, that’d be good. Hey, kid!” he continued, striding over towards where Blair sat grinning up at him, “You’re looking good. Tired, but good. Glad to be back, I dare say!”

“Hey, Simon! Thanks for coming, man. Yeah, it’s great to be back. It feels like forever since I was here. Not that I’m complaining about my treatment in the hospital, but I really couldn’t wait to come home.”

“I hear that!” Simon chuckled wryly. “But seriously, Blair, I’m truly glad to see you looking remarkably well. And I know this big lug is going to take good care of you for a while, so you’ll be in good hands. But both of you remember, that if there’s anything at all either of you needs, don’t hesitate to ask. All of us in Major Crimes would be more than willing to do anything you want, and happily so. And when you’re up to home visits Blair, they’ll be looking forward to it, I promise you.”

Blair smiled widely at that, just a hint of moisture sheening his big blue eyes. “Thanks, man. That’s really nice of you. Please thank everybody for me, and tell them that I’m sure I’ll be able to have visitors in a couple more days, as long as it’s OK with Jim too.”

As the man in question had just arrived with the two beers – and a large glass of juice for Blair – he was able to speak for himself. “Sounds good to me, Chief. If you’re up to it, then so am I, OK?”

He was rewarded by wide smiles from both Simon and Blair, and after handing out the drinks, the three men settled down for a short but very pleasant visit.

--------------------

A few days later found a fondly exasperated Blair more or less verbally shooing his partner out of the door. “Go, Jim! I’ll be absolutely fine, and it’s not as if I’ll be alone for long anyway, as Andrea’s due at 11.00 a.m. for my therapy session! You can’t stay bottled up in here with me for days on end, man, much as I appreciate your company. I know you must be going stir-crazy, so a few hours at the PD will do you the world of good. And if you want to have a workout at the gym too, that’s OK by me.

“Please, Jim! I’d feel better if you go, because I know it’s been hard looking after me over the last few days. But I’m so much more mobile, now, man, and you know it. Go on, Jim. Go say ‘Hi’ to our friends for me.”

In truth, the prospect of getting out of the loft for a few hours really did sound appealing to Jim, although he would never have admitted it out loud. He was perfectly sincere about helping Blair as much as needed for as long as needed, but not being able to get out and about or take a little time to himself at the gym had indeed been wearing on him. He knew Blair appreciated his care and support even as he appreciated his lover’s looking out for Jim’s mental comfort, but he still felt guilty about taking Blair up on his generous offer.

Then again, taking a moment to really absorb the loving stubbornness in the smaller man’s expression, he found himself wavering. “OK, babe, if you’re really sure? It would be good to do a bit of police work, even from a desk. But I won’t go unless you really want me to.”

“Jim, Jim! Of course I really want you to! It’s not that I want rid of you – of course not! But it’s not fair on you to be cooped up endlessly in here with me now I can do more for myself, and you deserve some ‘me time’. I’ll be fine, honestly! Andrea’s a good sport, and I have plenty to keep me occupied on my laptop. So, go! Enjoy! End of!”

Jim studied him for a few more seconds, and finally gave in. Blair did indeed look so much better than the frail young man who had arrived home just days ago, and Jim liked and trusted their PT instructor, Andrea Martinez, so he nodded, albeit a little reluctantly. “OK, babe, you convinced me. But I’ll be back by 1700 hours at the latest, OK?”

Blair chuckled at that. “If you mean you’ll be back by five o’clock, then that’s fine, man! See you then, lover,” and he offered his lips for a parting kiss. An offer which Jim was hardly going to refuse.

“See you soon, babe!” and with that, he left the loft, carefully listening in to his guide all the way down to the truck which he only started up when he was sure that all the sounds coming from the loft were contented ones.

--------------------

Shortly afterwards, Simon’s office:

Seated across from his friend and boss, Jim sipped appreciatively at the mug of gourmet coffee Simon had thrust into his hand. “Nice blend this, Simon,” he murmured. “Just what the doctor ordered!”

“Glad you approve, Jim. And yes, I have to say I quite like this one also. Anyhow, there are a couple of cases I’d like you to look at while you’re here – and can I say how good it is to see you back, even if only for a few hours. I take it the kid’s doing well if he’s shoved you out the door?”

Jim snickered at that. “Yeah, Simon. He’s actually doing really well in most regards. The PT instructor we have has worked out well insofar as he’s gotten the confidence to try an increasingly complex range of movement, albeit under strict instructions not to overdo it. He still needs the sling most of the time, but as long as he has his braces on when he’s doing his exercises he’s gradually managing to do a little more with his right hand.

“Then again,” he continued, his expression souring, “I haven’t said as much, but I don’t think he’s ever going to get back more than seventy to eighty per cent of his previous movement. The shoulder was simply too damaged despite the reconstructive surgery he underwent. I just hope that his fine motor skills haven’t been permanently compromised. He’ll be upset enough that his throwing arm won’t ever allow him to pitch at the annual soft ball game again, but if he can’t play his guitar and type as he used to, that’ll be a blow indeed.”

His expression equally sober, Simon nodded in unhappy agreement. “Yeah, he won’t like that at all, will he? Not being our star pitcher anymore. But he should know by now that we all value him for a lot more reasons than that, and as soon as he’s able to come back here I don’t think it’ll be long until we can convince him of his true worth.

“Anyhow, before you crack on with some work, are you still on to host the poker game on Friday? The guys don’t expect Blair to do the catering, as you know, and we’re all happy to bring along some potluck offerings. We just don’t want to tire him too much.”

Jim grinned at that. “Yeah, it’s still on, Simon. Blair’d be really upset if I was to cancel, because he’s really looking forward to seeing everyone together again. Probably hoping to continue his winning streak, too!”

Simon mock-scowled at that. “Yeah, I’ll bet!” he harrumphed. “Anyhow, go take a look at those cases, and let me know what you think,” and with that Jim grinned and stood to go, glad to be back, but also already looking forward to going home to see his lover again.

--------------------

Friday evening, the loft:

Blair’s face was wreathed in smiles as the gang arrived, pretty much all at the same time. He was generally patted, hugged and smooched (by Megan) while Jim looked on, equally happy to watch his lover’s response. It was the first time Blair had seen the whole gang together since his release from hospital, and it was clear that he wanted to enjoy every moment. After setting out the potluck offerings in the kitchen, and dispensing drinks all round, the group gathered around the table, each looking forward to an evening of pleasurable camaraderie such as hadn’t been enjoyed for far too long. Although his restricted movement meant that shuffling and dealing were out of the question for Blair for the time being, he was able to hold a hand of cards, much to his relief, and the wicked gleam in his eyes when he began to play was appreciated by all, even though Simon pretended to be miffed.

“Huh! Looks like our young friend’s back to his usual winning ways!” he grumped. “Wondered why I had been feeling so much better off lately!”

“Aw, Simon, don’t be mad! You know how much you like to subsidise Sandy’s charity funds!” a grinning Megan replied. “It’s not like he keeps it all to himself!”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Simon groused before breaking into a wide smile. “OK, point taken! Let the fun begin!”

-----------------------

Several hours later, the last hand was folded, and a tired but satisfied Blair one-handedly scooped up the final pile of winnings. In all honesty, it wasn’t a vast amount, because they never played for ridiculously high stakes, preferring to keep the game friendly and a good excuse for socialising. H and Megan were down the most, because neither of them could hold a poker face to save their lives, and their individual ‘tells’ gave them away every time, but they were both good sports. Rafe was becoming a pretty competent player, and Simon, Joel and Jim could hold their own in most company, but for someone whose face normally reflected his every emotion, Blair still managed to come out on top virtually every time, his skills with both the cards and being able to ‘read’ the others so well combining to make a winning team. Not that it mattered with present company. The gang was just so glad that he was still around to take them to the cleaners on a regular basis.

It was while they were enjoying a final drink before dispersing that the conversation became serious, and in truth it was something both Jim and Blair had been dreading, because it inevitably touched on the topic of Blair’s future and by extension, that of Jim also. They had hoped to hold off for a few more days, but once Megan had broached the subject, in all honesty they couldn’t really avoid it. And it wasn’t as if Simon hadn’t been brought up to speed a few days ago anyway, even though he had promised to keep it to himself until Jim and Blair were ready to come out with it themselves in a manner of speaking.

“So, Sandy, when are you hoping to come back to work? I mean, obviously you’ll be taking it easy until you get more mobility in your arm, but I suspect you still beat us all when it comes to IT stuff and typing. And we do miss you, you know. The bullpen’s much more fun with you and Jim there!”

“Yeah, Hairboy!” H echoed. “Like Megs says, babe. It’s been way too quiet for the last couple months, and I’m sure I’m not the only one who misses your input on weird cases.”

Taken by surprise by the unexpected change of subject, for a moment Blair took on an expression more akin to a deer-in-the-headlights, his worried gaze seeking Jim’s in a tacit request for guidance. On receiving a slight nod of assent and small smile of support, he swallowed hard and looked around him again, meeting each of their friends’ gazes in turn.

“Um, well, guys – and Megs – here’s the thing,” he began cautiously. “You see, Jim and I have been talking and discussing our options, and believe me, our decisions haven’t been made lightly. Yes, I shall be coming back once I’ve been given the go-ahead, but it will only be temporarily while we try to work out how my role will change. Because I know now that I’m never going to be able to ride with Jim in any useful capacity. My days as a backup in the field are done – not that I was much help before, but at least I was fit enough to give it my best shot!” he added with a self-deprecating smirk.

“And that’s enough of that, Chief!” Jim interjected smartly. “You know I always said you were the only backup I needed, so none of that belittling of my partner! Anyhow,” he continued, addressing them all and taking up the explanation. “What Blair means is that he won’t be riding with me again, but for the time being at least he’ll carry on in his role as official consultant to the department as a whole.

“Meanwhile,” he added with a wry grin, “Yours truly will be working my notice, guys…,” only to be interrupted by incredulous voices raised as one.

“No way, Jim! You can’t be serious!” from Rafe.

“Bloody hell, Jimbo! Where’d that come from, mate?” from Megan.

“Shit, babe, I don’t believe that. No way!” from H.

“Are you sure about this, son? Did you know, Simon?” this from Joel.

Looking more than a little uncomfortable, Simon nodded. “Yes, I did, Joel. But only as of a couple of days ago, and I promised to keep it to myself until Jim and Blair were ready to tell you all. Needless to say, I’m not happy about it, but I understand where they’re coming from, and I suggest you hear them out so you’ll understand it also.”

Jim smiled at him. “Thanks, Simon. I know it wasn’t really fair on you to ask you to keep our secret, but truly, guys, like Blair said, it hasn’t been an easy decision, just a necessary one as I see it.

“See, I know you’re all aware of the sense thing, and that they work best when I have my guide with me. That guide being Blair - and only Blair! Yes, I could carry on working as a cop without him, but to be honest I don’t want to anymore. Nearly losing him again, just because he was trying to protect me was a real wake-up call. As long as I’m in the line of fire, he’s always going to worry about me. Always going to try and be there for me even unofficially, and I don’t want that on my conscience anymore. He deserves better of me, and I intend to live up to that from now on.

“We belong together as sentinel and guide, but it doesn’t have to be in the PD. There are other ways we can serve the tribe, and that’s what we want to do.”

By that point, Blair’s eyes were sheened with emotion even as he gazed at his lover, and Jim wasn’t going to leave him like that. Reaching over, he gently pulled the smaller man into a one-armed hug, and dropped a kiss on the crown of his lover’s curly head. Looking around him, almost daring anyone to say anything untoward, instead he saw nothing but understanding in their friends’ eyes. And a goofy grin on Megan’s.

“I get it, Jimbo, Sandy. I do. But what are you going to do instead? What are these other options you fellas have thought about?”

Back on more solid ground, Jim took up the narrative again, but didn’t relinquish his hold on Blair. “Well, these are the ideas we’ve come up with,” he began, and continued to outline their future plans to his rapt audience. By the time he had finished, it was clear to them all that Blair was running on fumes, his physical and emotional exhaustion visible in his pale and drawn face.

With none of their friends displaying anything but support and understanding, even if reluctant, and no condemnation at all, the party broke up, each of them hugging Blair affectionately and offering Jim sincere good wishes. It wasn’t as if they would be leaving immediately anyway, or even moving away from Cascade, so there would be time to come to terms with the changes in due course. As the door closed behind Simon, who was the last to leave, Jim gently urged his wilting armful up to bed. A night spent in each other’s arms sounding just the ticket to them both right then.

------------------------

Epilogue: Several months later, the loft:

“You all set, babe? Good to go?” Jim grinned fondly at his young lover who was heading towards him from the bathroom, smiling in response as he straightened his suit coat.

“Yeah, lover, I think so,” Blair replied. “Do I look the part?” he asked just a little diffidently.

“You look good enough to eat, babe. And more than good enough to knock them dead in the courtroom, so stop worrying. And I’ll be there in time to see you testify, Chief, no worries!”

Blair smiled in relief, always grateful for his sentinel’s reassurance even though his head – and his successful record thus far - told him that he was perfectly capable of performing effectively in the witness stand. “Thanks, Jim. I just want to make sure that Arnie Wilkinson gets what he deserves, man. We all want that evil monster of a child-molester off the streets for as long as possible!”

Jim nodded in grim agreement. Although the ‘we’ to whom Blair referred primarily meant the detectives from Vice, with whom Blair had been working recently, Jim had also had a hand in the arrest and charging of the sleazy defendant, and was just as eager to see the man convicted as was his lover.

“You got that right, babe!” he murmured feelingly as Blair shrugged on his good topcoat. “Take care now, and I’ll see you in court in a couple of hours, OK?” and with that he dropped a quick kiss on his guide’s lush lips before gently ushering the smaller man from the apartment.

Automatically listening in as his lover exited the building and drove safely away, Jim turned his attention to the few chores he needed to complete before settling down to his own work, his thoughts roaming free as he contemplated their lives now, and not at all unhappy with his conclusions.

Thinking about the attractive picture Blair made as he left the apartment, Jim couldn’t help but grin somewhat smugly in the knowledge that the young man was his and his alone to cherish and enjoy. Since returning to work, Blair’s confidence in both his physical condition and mental capability had needed quite a bit of rebuilding but between his sentinel and his friends’ constant support he had made vast improvements in both departments. It was true that he had yet to regain the full range of mobility in his shoulder, and probably never would, but in most respects he managed well enough. His typing and guitar-playing were back to almost normal, and his fine motor skills were generally satisfactory. However, as Jim had surmised, he would never again act as the PD’s star pitcher in the annual PD vs Fire Dept softball game.

Generally speaking, however, Blair was cool with his present level of physical capability, especially as he confessed to Jim, it didn’t hold him back when they were making love, and that was something they both happily agreed on. Jim’s grin grew lascivious and a little predatory at that thought, but with good reason. Since committing to each other, he had learned that Blair was the best and most accommodating partner he could ever have wished for, and once the young man was well enough to recommence their active lovemaking, Jim had appreciated that fact even more. He was one lucky guy, and he knew it.

However, the sickening thought that he might have lost Blair forever was enough to give him pause, and that led him to consider what they had both decided in order to try and greatly reduce mutual future risk factors.

As far as Jim was concerned, he had been quite adamant about resigning from the PD. As he told both Blair and Simon, he had put in his years chasing down the bad guys, and felt that it was time to literally get out of the firing line. He needed to think about Blair’s safety as much if not more than his own, and that had become his top priority. So what he had suggested was that he apply for a Private Investigator’s licence and also make himself available to the PD on a consultancy basis should they need him as a forensic investigator, something which had been received with grateful alacrity by the PD’s Powers That Be. And it had to be said that he had had plenty of work to keep both himself and Blair busy working crime scenes and gathering trace evidence, all of which was highly appreciated by the PD as a whole. As a team in the field they had been pretty awesome, but as crime scene investigators and consultants they were incredible, and since they weren’t exclusive to Major Crimes now, all departments benefitted from their indubitable expertise. For sure, Blair was still officially employed by the PD on a part-time basis, but as a private consultant Jim was perfectly happy to now work from home. They both agreed that, should the private investigating business take off such that they both needed to give it their full attention, then that was what they would do, but until then Blair was quite able to manage his limited hours at Cascade Central and also help Jim out with admin and marketing necessities.

Of course, the fact that Jim was no longer a cop also had beneficial side-effects insofar as he no longer cared if anyone knew about his gift. Neither man had shouted it from the rooftops any more than they had revealed their lifestyle as lovers and life partners, but they wouldn’t deny it if asked. Just not go into any unnecessary detail. And since Blair was increasingly in demand as an expert witness, it was a great relief to both him and Jim that he could no longer be ambushed in the witness box by the spectre of the ‘diss mess’. It was what it was, and since it was clear that Jim Ellison was no Marvel Comic Superman after all, he was no longer of any real interest to the average Joe and Jane Public. Jim smirked wryly at that thought. Perhaps he should be miffed that his ‘natural genetic advantage’ wasn’t the burden he had believed was his cross to bear for so many years, but when all was said and done, he wouldn’t have changed what he and Blair had now for anything. They recognised and accepted their roles as protectors and servants of the tribe, both individually, and, more importantly as a sentinel and guide team, and were content.

Finishing up the last of the cleanup, Jim moved to their shared home office under the stairs, there to look through the latest requests for his and Blair’s assistance. They might not be ‘major crime’, per se, but as Blair always said, if they could help anyone – even if it was some distraught child trying to find their stray pet - it all had value and at last Jim understood that.

---------------------

Five hours later Jim and Blair were to be found exiting the courthouse, Jim’s arm around his lover’s shoulders as they fielded the congratulations bestowed on them by satisfied cops and victims’ parents alike. Jim had watched with quiet satisfaction as his lover had delivered his testimony with confidence and conviction despite the antics of the defendant’s irritating lawyer and helped ensure that Wilkinson’s guilty verdict was unanimous. Not unsurprisingly, the detectives from Vice were cock-a-hoop, and let their young consultant know it in no uncertain terms, just as they had also had the grace to thank Jim for his input as the crime scene investigator who had secured the telling trace evidence. Not only that, but Megan and Joel had also put in an appearance, along with Simon, since the case was so high-profile, and they wanted to watch their favourite team in action.

It was a good day all round, and all Jim wanted now was to take his lover home and show him just how much he was loved and appreciated. And judging by the understanding and eager expression on Blair’s face as he glanced up to meet Jim’s ardent gaze, the sentinel knew they were on the same page, and rejoiced in that knowledge.

Life was good, and could only get better. That was something of which he had no doubt.

The End