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My Hot, Blonde Classmate is Also a Superhero?

Summary:

Who was Spiderman?
Well, Kaeya was pretty sure it was the cute blonde guy who sat next to him in his AP physics class.

(Kaebedo Spiderman AU feat. Diluc as the Darknight Hero and the Fatui/Abyss Order as main villains)

Hiatus Announcement!!!
I'm going on haitus until late July to focus on personal issues!!

Notes:

Even though I already tagged homophobia and transphobia, and I’m assuming by clicking on this fic y’all are understanding this, I kind of wanted to give an explanation of why I’m writing some pretty intense homophobia/transphobia in this fic.

This fic is set in a fictionalized version of the early 2000s, and one of the things that was present in that time was intense homophobia/transphobia. Now, I’m not sure how bad people had it in New York, where Mondstadt is based off of in this fic, but I’m not necessarily going for 100% accuracy, as a lot of the bullying in this fic is actually based on my time in middle school/high school in the 2020s. For my entire elementary school, middle school, and my first two years of high school, I went to a very conservative private school that was literally in the news for homophobia/transphobia. This was obviously not my choice, but my parent’s. And while things like cursing weren't allowed, slurs for gay people were. People and teachers would turn a blind eye to anything that they felt uncomfortable with. If you’ve ever been to a conservative christian school, you’ll probably be familiar with the concept of a guest speaker, and the guest speaker that made the most impact on me at that school was one who openly used slurs for his own son, who he also blatantly misgendered. One of my teachers even wrote a famous transphobic book, and the worst part was she was like the only teacher who was nice to me when I was in a wheelchair for a semester (I could also ramble on and on about the ableism in that school, which is eventually how I convinced my parents to let me leave). That seriously fucked me up, like, especially because I feel like as a trans person (agender btw!) people are always just demeaning our existence and it sucks shit. I had multiple queer friends who got expelled for being gay, and I have no way to contact them now because their parents assumedly took away their phones. I wasn’t even able to come out to them because I saw how their courage to come out led to them being outed. I basically had no friends at that school, only people I would hang out with. I couldn’t be real with them or else I could experience what my friends did. So, I guess this fic is my little tribute to all the people I have no idea where they are right now, to my friends who came out and ended up experiencing extreme homophobia in an era that was supposed to be more progressive. I’m only out to a handful of people even now, because I get too damn scared that someone will out me to my parents, whom I am financially dependent on (I’m chronically ill and need some sort of caregiver right now, I could not afford this without their help). Also I’m not saying the name of my old school because that’s a surefire way to dox myself lol. Anyways, if you actually read all of this, thanks! I literally love y’all so much for even clicking on my silly writings, and I know this author’s note is a doozy lol. I hope you enjoy the fic!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Prologue: 1

Chapter Text

__  

The first day of senior year went better than expected. 

“Hey faggot, sucked any more cocks this summer?” One of the many Jock type students asked Kaeya, before laughing and turning around to throw his arm around his best friend’s shoulder. Kaeya rolled his eyes before moving to his first period class.

He absolutely hated himself, so he decided to take AP physics for his first period, all so he could fit in an art elective. It was worth it, because he needed one class that wasn’t full of assholes. No one who wasn’t at least a little gay would be taking AP art. He slumped down in a seat in the back of the classroom, next to the window. He specifically got to class five minutes early so he could get a good seat for the first day, thus asserting that this was his seat for the rest of the year. 

He clicked his finger on the desk, and sighed. Now he was there way too early, which was also annoying. The only people who were in the class were the try-hards (which included him, sadly) and he was not friends with the other nerds because the nerds thought that he was a slut. 

“Hey, I like your backpack.” Kaeya lifted his head to see a random guy was actually talking to him. He had blonde hair that went down to his shoulders, and it was put in a half up and half down style. He wore blue jeans, an oxford shirt, and overtop a light blue argyle sweater vest. 

“T-Thanks,” Kaeya said, fiddling with the pen in his hand. “You into rock?” 

“Yeah, I really like Radiohead, Red Hot Chili Peppers,  and Arctic Monkeys.” The guy sat down in the seat next to him. “Like, for some reason, I think rock makes really good study music.” 

“I see you have great taste! My favorites would be those, and Queens of the Stone Age. If we’re considering more punk rock, I’d say Green Day as well.” Kaeya said,

“Did you paint on those designs?” The guy asked. 

“Yeah, I did. I got some fabric paint to make the cool swirly thingies. And then I put the grommets randomly for fun, and like, then I found the lace ribbon, and I strung it through.” 

“It’s cute,” The guy said. “My name’s Albedo, by the way.” 

“I’m Kaeya.” Kaeya smiled. 

“Okay class, welcome back…” As the teacher was talking, Kaeya was mindlessly taking notes and thinking about this Albedo. He noticed he was rather short, and he didn’t look the type to like rock, but he did. It was cute how excited he got. He was pretty nice for someone Kaeya didn’t have a pre-established relationship with before the incident, as well. Maybe he was overthinking this whole thing - I mean, he just complimented his backpack. Anyways, what surprised Kaeya the most about Albedo was how jacked he was - like, what was he eating to get those biceps that were visible through his shirt? It was kinda hot.

__

Kaeya hadn’t expected Albedo to also be in his AP art class, as well. 

“Hey,” Albedo said, looking up from the book he was reading. “We meet again. I guess us being friends is fate,”  

Kaeya was so starved of kindness that his heart jumped at the mention of being called a friend, but he had to play it cool! 

“I guess it is,” Kaeya said, sitting next to Albedo. “Honestly, the only reason I was in first period AP Physics was so I could take this class.” 

“Same,” Albedo said, grinning. “Otherwise, I wouldn't have tortured myself with AP Physics in the first period. I can only imagine the tests…” He groaned. Kaeya laughed. 

__

“Hey.” Albedo sat down next to Kaeya once again the next day, and this time he brought a friend. “This is my friend Sucrose, she was absent yesterday because she was sick.” 

“Hey!” Kaeya said, hopefully not too eagerly. “I’m Kaeya.” He desperately needed new friends, as all his previous ones had graduated. He hated being the youngest, sometimes. He held out his hand to Sucrose, and she timidly took it. She wore a baggy, darkish blue hoodie and a pleated jean skirt that came up to her thighs. She wore a similar color blue knitted beanie. 

“H-h-hi!” She stuttered. “A-Albedo told me, you, uh, liked rock?” 

“Oh, yeah! I have a bunch of different patches on my backpack, see?” Kaeya brought his backpack from the floor to show to her. 

“That’s-s, real cool!” She said, gently touching the stitching on the backpack. Kaeya smiled. “It took a long time, but it was worth it.” Kaeya said. 

“I’m into c-classic rock, like Queen, or AC/DC. I know they’re kind of popular, b-but I l-like them, still.” Sucrose said. 

“Oh my god, I LOVE ‘Good Old-Fashoned Lover Boy’!” Kaeya said,

“A-and you’re an a-artist, right? Albedo said y-you were also in his art class.” 

“Looks like Albedo likes to talk about me,” Kaeya teased. Albedo’s face went red. 

“I just wasn't expecting someone so cool to pop up.” He mumbled. 

“Relax, I’m teasing! So, Sucrose, why did you decide to take this absolute hell of a class first period?” 

“A-ah, well, it’s because I have a s-study hall period, a-and if I do it at the e-end of the day, I can go home early! A-and Albedo’s i-in this class,” 

“Yeah, I guess it’s nice to have a friend in the same class period,” Kaeya replied. “I never had any of my friends take my classes, so I’ve never even had a study buddy, haha.” 

“W-well, now, I-I guess you have t-two!” 

“Yeah,” Kaeya smiled.

“We should check to see if we share the same lunch,” Albedo added. “If you’re not sitting with your other friends, you could, uh, sit with us!” 

“Bold of you to assume I have friends.” Kaeya joked. “No, I do have friends, they just graduated last year.” 

“Oh, that s-sucks!” Sucrose said. “One of my friends also g-graduated last year, so I can totally r-relate.” 

“Well, I’m glad we scoped you up before anyone else did,” Albedo joked. 

“Yeah, me too,” Kaeya grinned. Then,  they compared their schedules and smiled. 

__ 

Kaeya was walking down the hallway to his lunch when he felt a tug on his shirt and felt himself being dragged somewhere. 

“Hey? What the fuck-” Kaeya started to struggle, before he felt a jock’s greasy, smelly, unwashed hands trying to grasp his body. He tried to shove them off, but there were too many of them, and the people in the hallway just didn’t seem to care. 

“I said, get the FUCK OFF OF ME!” Kaeya screamed, kicking the horde of men around him. Before, he was trying his best to just shove them off semi-gently, but he had seen where ‘gentle’ had gotten him before. He felt his body being grasped by more and more hands, before he was shoved into the boy’s bathroom (Kaeya’s least favorite place on earth). His limbs were moving erratically, and his breath was getting short. He was shoved to the floor, the wind being knocked out off him. 

He was too stunned to get up for a second, not registering the voices of the men assaulting him. All he could hear were the usual taunts and slurs, and he was trying his best to just block them out. 

“Shut the hell up,” he groaned out. 

The words kept flooding his brain as he tried to stand up, but was shoved back down. He could imagine the bruises forming along his ribs. And then… he could feel hands trying to lift up his shirt. 

His brain completely froze, and his body started moving on its own. Of course it was now that he could remember all the ‘lessons’ his father had given him. 

It was easier than Kaeya thought, in the end, all it took was a shove to the crotch, a well placed punch to the stomach, or a kick to the leg. And as he huffed his way out of the bathroom, and looked at the still bustling hallway, he realized he was late to lunch. He had basically promised Albedo and Sucrose he would be there… Kaeya sighed, and made sure his backpack was still attached to his body. He hadn't remembered if they had taken it off and he put it back on, or it had just stayed connected to his back. At least any scuffs would add to the general vibe of his backpack. He sighed, and practically ran to the cafeteria. 

“Hey guys, sorry I’m late, haha!” Kaeya said, sliding into the corner table that Albedo and Sucrose had previously said they’d be at. 

“Dude, what the fuck happened?” Albedo asked, looking at Kaeya wide-eyed. 

“I slipped and fell.” Kaeya said. 

“How would you get a black eye from slipping and falling?” When did they punch me in the eye, fuck. 

“Uh, well.” Kaeya said in his usual tone of voice. “I don’t exactly want to tell my new friends how I was beaten up by a bunch of jocks with unwashed hands, haha.”

“T-that’s nothing to b-be ashamed of!” Sucrose said. “Th-hey pick on me, too.” The table got silent for a moment. “I h-have some things i-in my backpack t-that might help,” Sucrose grabbed her bag, and rummaged for a bright blue vial of some sort of goo. “Th-his is a cooling gel, completely safe for s-sensitive skin! I-I can give you an i-ingredients list, i-in case you have s-some more spe-specifc allergies.” 

“Thank you.” Kaeya said quietly, as he grabbed the liquid and spread it over his visible eye. It was translucent on, and it felt like an icepack that you didn’t have to hold down to work properly. “You two are too kind,” He smiled. 

“Yeah, no problem.” Albedo said softly. “The administration here is awful. They wouldn’t do anything about Sucrose being bullied last year, so she had to put a heavy amount of weed and laxatives in their energy drink mix that they drink in games to get them to stop.” 

“Wouldn’t that have a taste?” Kaeya asked. 

“I k-know enough to be a-able to disguise it with a s-small margin of error.” Sucrose grinned. “A-and when th-they started a-acting all w-weird on the field, they got found o-out for using d-drugs and they g-got disqualified. W-was really going f-for expelled.” 

“And they know that the only person with that kind of chemical knowledge is Sucrose,” Albedo grinned. “We should do something similar to get them to stay away from you,” 

“Maybe another d-drug scandal w-would finally g-get them ex-ex-expelled.” Sucrose grinned. 

Kaeya smiled a real, genuine smile, and started laughing. “You guys are insane in the best way possible,” Kaeya grinned. “I did beat them up a bit, though.” 

And if right on cue, a pair of ragged, beaten up jocks came into the cafeteria. Albedo whistles. 

“Damn, Kaeya, you put them in their place.” Albedo said, his face a bit flushed. 

“And they’ll probably rat me out to their dear daddy principal,” Kaeya groaned. “Fuck my life…” 

“Next time they bother you, we can help with something more conspicuous.” Albedo tried to comfort him, but internally, Kaeya was only thinking of what would happen when Diluc found out.  

__
Immediately when he got home to Dawn Winery, Kaeya could feel the air shift. For once, Diluc was out of his room, waiting on the couch in the living room. His face was grim, and his hands were on his chin. Kaeya braced himself for the lecture that was forthcoming. 

“Kaeya,” Diluc said, stopping Kaeya in his tracks. “What’s this I hear about you fighting in school?” 

“Uh, there’s a difference between fighting and defending yourself.” Kaeya said snarkily. 

“That’s not what I heard.” 

“You heard that shit from the principal, right? That bitch caters to his oh-so-dear football players,” Kaeya said, his body tensing. “What else was I supposed to do when they were assaulting me? Take it?” 

“That’s not what-” Diluc started, and then stopped. He huffed under his breath. “I got you off with the principal, don’t worry about that. I’m just wondering why they did it, if you provoked them or something, so we can avoid this problem in the future.” Diluc finally looked up from his hands, and saw Kaeya’s bruised face. “We should have Addie look at your injuries, as well.” 

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Kaeya gritted his teeth. The first time we’ve had a conversation in months, and it’s about this? 

“Stop being stubborn, Kaeya-” Diluc started to raise his voice.

“Why do you even care?” Kaeya yelled back. “According to you, we’re not even brothers, so why are you looking out for me now? Is it because you’ve suddenly developed some sort of guilt? Or is it just for Dad’s sake?” 

Diluc was left speechless. 

“That’s what I thought.” Kaeya mumbled. “And tell Addie that I’ll be fine, it’s just the face.” Kaeya lied through his teeth. 

Kaeya went up to his room and slammed his door. He plopped down on his bed and groaned into his pillow. He needed to check if any of his rib wounds were bleeding under his binder or not… And anyways, he needed to take a break from binding for today. He felt so utterly suffocated that he could handle looking at his boobs for a little while. After unbinding, he decided to just lay on his bed with his shirt off and in his boxers. After a while of just being dead on his bed, he got up and sat at his computer table and logged onto Serenatea Pot. He checked his messages to see a couple from Rosaria. 

Rosaria (Gothic_Bitch): hey bitch how is life without us 

Kaeya (Ur_Fav_Whore):  guess who gave me a black eye

Gothic_Bitch: no they didn’t ●_●

Ur_Fav_Whore: THEY ALSO KICKED ME IN MY BINDER

Gothic_Bitch: does that make it hurt extra

Ur_Fav_Whore: YES DAMN IT 

Ur_Fav_Whore: anyway i don’t wanna talk about it too much rn. how is college? is venti already piss drunk?

Gothic_Bitch: i keep telling him he’s going to get caught for underage drinking but nooo he’s literally already started his nighttime session 

Ur_Fav_Whore: okay but ur also getting hammered every time u get the chance 

Gothic_Bitch: at least I’m not getting drunk at 5pm 

Ur_Fav_Whore: true true i should sneak down to the wine cellars and send you some shit 

Gothic_Bitch: then we wouldn’t have to wait for the specific convenience store guy who doesn't card us

Ur_Fav_Whore: teehee time to steal from diluc ^_^

__ 

After chatting with Rosaria for a while, Kaeya put on a large enough black hoodie to hide his boobs and some comfy black sweats so he could go out to restock his snack collection (not including his alcohol stash). After reassuring Addie that he would be fine, that his eye wasn’t even that bad (he had put makeup over the worst of it), he left to drive to the nearby grocery store. He should also get tampons, as him craving hot cheetos was a sure sign of his least favorite part of life, his period. Ugh. 

One thing that he had insisted on when his Dad had gotten him a car for his 16th birthday was that it wasn’t super fancy and expensive, because contrary to popular belief, Kaeya wasn’t a fan of every single eyeball on him. He had settled for an older model of a decently priced car. Especially in a world like theirs, getting a super fancy car wasn’t really worth it. 

From where he was stuck in traffic, on Starstach Bridge, he could see the ever=so-popular Spiderman fighting some sort of evil villain who looked like a crab or something on the railings above them. He sighed loudly. It’s not that he didn’t like Spiderman, per se, but he was just annoyed because he was really craving hot cheetos right now. He guessed that it was more of the evil doer’s fault, though. And he couldn’t deny that he was a big fan of Spiderman’s muscles, as well.  He saw a bunch of people running away from their cars, which Kaeya couldn’t understand, like, insurance usually doesn't cover a whole ass car, and, if no one moved their car, how was he going to get his hot cheetos? Kaeya groaned, leaning his face on the steering wheel. He was sure that the traffic would let up soon, and the people would come back to their cars, and he could go and get his fucking hot cheetos. Or, would it be faster to just walk? And abandon his car? That would be stupid! 

And then a beam flew out of nowhere and hit his car. Welp, unless he got Diluc’s night time person to help him, he wasn’t sure he could get that off too easily… and would Diluc even let him get another car? Well, technically half of the estate belonged to him, and he could just get a cheap used one, and it’s not like it was his fault that a random ass beam fell on his car… 

He decided to walk out after he saw an elderly lady struggling to get out, along with her cat she had just finished taking to the vet. Although, he had the strangest feeling that someone was watching him right when he got out of the car, but he was sure the only people there were him, the elderly lady, and the supervillain and Spiderman… 

Well, it was just a feeling, after all.
__