Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

1.

"Hey there, young man, we’ve reached the village." The farmer gently shook the youth who was leaning against a pile of straw on the horse-drawn carriage.

"Ah, yes... thank you for the ride..." Anaxa scrambled to grab his bag and a folder full of papers stuck with bits of straw before hurriedly hopping down. His long, mint-colored hair was messy, with several dry stalks clinging to the strands.

As soon as he took his first few steps, Anaxa’s head began to spin. The scenery before him-yellow, white, and blue-blended together like a bowl of thin porridge being stirred.

Ah…it’s…heatstroke. That was his final thought before his entire body collapsed onto the dirt road. His satchel and the papers tucked in his folder flew everywhere, scattering across the ground.

Before losing consciousness completely, a voice echoed toward him, but it was blocked by a loud ringing in his ears. Then came a jolting sensation, as if someone had hoisted him up like a sack of wheat and started running.

2.

Anaxa blinked, staring at the white stone ceiling for a moment before sitting up. A damp cloth slid from his forehead down to the blanket covering his waist.

"Oh, you’re awake. Eat something, I’ll go buy some medicine."

A white-haired young man stepped through the door, carrying a tray with a bowl of steaming porridge.

"Um... may I ask where I am...?"

"Oh right, you can just call me Phainon. I was heading back from the field earlier when I saw you lying in the middle of the road. The summer sun is harsh here; if you go out without a proper hat, you’ll get heatstroke!"

Anaxa watched in silence as Phainon approached the bed and set the tray on the side table. As the younger man leaned down, his sturdy, slightly tanned forearm was clearly visible.

With arms like those, picking up someone like Anaxa really is probably easier than lifting a sack of wheat...

"Thank you..." Anaxa murmured.

"Don't mention it. You're here to teach the kids, so it’s only natural we welcome you," Phainon grinned, ladling the porridge from the large tureen into a smaller bowl.

"How did you know I was here to teach...?" Anaxa frowned slightly.

"It’s not like I was snooping, but while you were lying there amidst that mess of papers and books. I saw your teaching credentials and transfer papers. Being stationed all the way here from Okhema must be quite a struggle. I helped gather them up by the way!”

Anaxa took the small bowl from Phainon. The porridge was slightly brown and has finely chopped bits of mushroom.

"My mom cooked a large pot of this. When you finish I’ll get you more." Phainon sat at the bedside table for a while, his eyes glued to the young teacher’s face, forcing Anaxa to look up and response to his gaze several times.

The teacher seemed shy...Phainon thought, seeing the slight blush from the teacher’s ear peeping behind the mint hair. Realizing his own unintentional staring, Phainon felt a bit awkward and pulled his chair back to stand up. He needed to go buy fever medicine anyway, since normally no one in the house got sick, so they didn't keep anything stocked besides antiseptic.

"Haha... erm, you eat. I'm going to buy medicine, I’ll be right back."

3.

When Phainon left the room, he forgot to shut the door tight. A curious creature took the opportunity to squeeze through and saunter inside. Anaxa was currently staring out the window at the golden rice fields that seemed to stretch endlessly. To someone raised in the city, this was a sight he had never seen before.

The young teacher gasped and startled when he felt a weight on the blanket. He was immediately "greeted" by a snow-white creature that pounced on him, sticking out a tongue to lick Anaxa’s shielding hand.

"Snowy!! Don't scare the guest! Down, down!" Phainon tossed the bag of medicine on the table and ran over to grab the Samoyed.

"Haha... don't be scared, Snowy is just a bit over-enthusiastic." Phainon hugged Snowy tightly, backing away to keep distance while the dog’s tail wagged non-stop, letting out an occasional happy howl. Seeing that goofy expression, Anaxa lowered his guard. Phainon let the dog out and shut the door firmly. Once finished, he poured a glass of water and walked back to the bed.

"Here, the medicine for your fever." Phainon popped the pills from the blister pack and dropped them into Anaxa’s open palm, his calloused fingers grazing the skin of Anaxa’s hand.

So the hand of a scholar has such thin skin and soft flesh...

Phainon seemed startled by his own thought and jerked his hand back as if he was electrocuted from the touching.

"Ah, um, if you're still hungry, just call for me. My mom cooked plenty... haha... erm... I'll head out now. Just get some rest..."

Like a clockwork toy, Phainon bolted upright and marched out of the room.

Since the teacher arrived, Phainon had given up his room for him, opting to sleep on the sofa. Three days later, Anaxa said he would go finding a room for rent in the village to avoid disturbing the family’s atmosphere and also gave Phainon back his bed. However, after spending the afternoon wandering the village, he found only residential homes. With few tourists in the past decade, no one offered rentals.

Not only did Anaxa fail to find a place, he managed to get…another heatstroke. This time, locals hoisted the young teacher onto a cart and pushed him into a nearby temple to escape the heat, while someone went to call Phainon from the fields. In just a few days, the villagers had already begun to consider Anaxa a member of Phainon’s household. Called him “that small teacher at Phainon’s”

Phainon came running back from the field with sweat covered biceps, straw hat on messy white hair. Inside the temple, he saw Cyrene wringing a cloth and placing it on the forehead of the man lying on the rug.

"You're here, Phainon. Wait until the sun dies down a bit before taking him home."

"Cyrene, hey, ye I don’t think he can take anymore sun. Oh by the way…" Phainon thought for a moment. "Does the temple store any spare fabric from the festivals?"

Cyrene didn't understand Phainon’s intention but nodded, leading him to the back storage room with some large pieces of cloth. The temple usually used fabric woven from local bark for ceremonies; it was too coarse for clothing but very durable and thick—perfect for making wheat sacks. Every year, to pray for a bountiful harvest, the villagers would weave a giant sack together, symbolizing a desire for surplus grain.

When Anaxa woke up from his second heatstroke in three days, he found himself in a new place with a pink-haired girl nearby.

"Teacher, you’re awake. Here, have some water," Cyrene handed him a cool glass. "Phainon took some cloth and an axe outside earlier, must be doing something. Just wait here, he said he would be back to fetch you."

Hearing the familiar name made Anaxa lower down his guard. He nodded and stayed in the sanctuary, eyes wandering over the temple’s architecture. It was made of the same white stone as the other houses but with larger pillars to support the high ceiling. Leaning against the wall, he realized the white stone acted as insulation; even when it was boiling outside, the interior remained cool—it could even get chilly at night.

4.

"Cyrene, I'm done. Is the small teacher awake?"

"Yes, let me go get him." Cyrene pulled back the curtain. "Phainon is back, you should head home with him."

Phainon and Anaxa walked along the short temple corridor. Outside, Phainon's horse-drawn straw carriage was tied to a nearby tree. Anaxa had seen it days before, so he immediately noticed the change.

"Get up, teacher, I’ll take you back," Phainon pointed to the carriage.

The back of the cart now had four tall wooden poles acting as pillars, topped with a layer of thick sackcloth and lined with straw to create a makeshift roof against the sun and rain.

Anaxa couldn’t help smiled a bit, and  just this small movement of lips couldn’t escape Phainon’s sight. The country boy looks proud of his work, this is the first time he see this small teacher smile, even just for a bit

"Teacher, I caught two very big fish today. Can you eat fish?"

"I do. No dietary restrictions."

"Then you have to try my mom's fish soup later!"

On the way back, the sound of hooves clopping on the dirt road, Phainon’s chatter about mundane things, and the scent of freshly harvested grain made everything feel simple yet entirely new. For the first time in a long while, Anaxa felt truly at ease.

Initially, his plans didn't involve this remote village. He had planned the next three years down to the letter: get his PhD, apply to another city university to lecture, and live off a salary and research grants. Anaxa was a blunt man, and because of that, he wasn't well-liked. It was also his bluntness that caused him all this sending-away incident.

As the carriage stopped, Snowy came rushing out. The cloud leaped onto the back of the cart, lunging at Anaxa and attacking the young teacher with its wet tongue. After the last few days, Anaxa had grown used to the Samoyed’s over-eager temperament and wasn't startled anymore.

"We're home. Are you tired? Do you want to rest a bit before dinner?."

"I'm not. If I lie down too much, I won't be able to sleep tonight." Anaxa stroked Snowy’s head, his black trousers already covered in straw dust and white fur, but he doesn’t mind it anymore.

"Then…come grill the fish with me?"

At the mention of "fish," Snowy wagged his tail incessantly, hopped off the cart, and sauntered toward the backyard—a wide space the family used for grinding wheat and setting campfires for grilling.

"Alright."

Anaxa turned, intending to hop down from the straw-laden cart, but found Phainon already standing there behind the cart. The younger man was grinning, his blue eyes crinkled half-shut, holding out his hands toward Anaxa.

"Teacher, the ground is rocky and uneven here. Let me help you down."

Chapter Text

5.

The backyard was an open space with a large clay oven for roasting tucked in one corner. In the center, four large logs had been split in half and sanded smooth to serve as benches. Snowy was already seated nearby, seemingly more excited about ‘grilled fish’ rather than ‘fish grilling’.

"Wait, I’ll go get some firewood," Phainon said.

A moment later, he returned with a large bundle of wood tucked under one arm, in his other hand, he held a gutted fish skewered on a stick. Anaxa watched as Phainon dropped the pile of wood onto the ground. Curious, the young teacher picked up a single log and realized it was quite heavy. With both hands, Anaxa could probably only manage to carry four small sticks at most…

Phainon picked up a jar of pepper but paused halfway.

"Do you eat pepper?"

Anaxa nodded.

With practiced ease, Phainon set up two supports to hold the skewer and lit the fire. The village boy sat on the same log as the teacher but left a gap in the middle, where Snowy used as a shield to keep his fur from being singed by stray sparks.

Anaxa rarely cooked. When he was doing research, he had no time, when he was free, he had no appetite. Perhaps that was why the teacher’s head only reached the level of Phainon’s upper arm. He was so small that if he stood directly behind the tall youth, no one from the front would even know he was there.

As the sun dipped below the horizon, the wind began to cool. Nighttime in Aedes Elysiae was peaceful. Behind Phainon’s house, the rice fields stretched on forever. The temple’s bell tower was the highest point in sight, there wasn't a single high-rise building to be found.

"Did you find a place to rent today...?" Phainon turned to look at the teacher, who was half-hidden behind fluffy Snowy. "The village hasn't had guests in a long time, so no one really rents out rooms... Um, you can just stay with me, you know? Or if there’s anything making you uncomfortable, just tell me."

"No, everything is fine. But I don't want to take over your bedroom... Your house doesn't have a spare room, and you've been sleeping on the sofa because of me."

"It’s really no problem!"

"The sofa isn't comfortable. My back ached after sitting on it for just a while; you can't sleep out there forever."

Phainon opened his mouth to say something but stopped himself. He had almost blurted out that Anaxa only felt sore because he is too thin and "didn't have enough meat padding", whereas Phainon was thick-skinned and muscular, a bed or a sofa felt the same to him.

"And... it’s not just about the bed. The bedroom is your private space, Phainon." Anaxa picked up a small branch, aimlessly poking at the flickering flames. The aroma of grilled fish and pepper began to mingle. Beside them, Snowy’s eyes were already glued to the fish.

"Kids! The soup is ready. Come in and eat once the fish is done grilling." Phainon’s father called out from the house.

"Coming!" Phainon called back, reaching out to flip the fish toward the heat. "But you really can't find anywhere else right now..." He turned back to Anaxa.

"Then you go back to your bedroom. Let me sleep on the sofa."

"No way!! You just said your back hurt after sitting there for a bit. Sleeping there all night is out of the question!" Phainon shook his head vigorously, and Snowy let out a howl as if in agreement.

Anaxa thought about it... he was right. If he slept there all night, he truly wouldn't be able to stand to teach the next morning.

The fish was slightly charred. Phainon lifted the skewer, placed the fish on a plate lined with wild forest leaves, and carefully slid the wooden stake out. As Phainon prepared to carry it in, Anaxa reached out to take the plate first.

"Then... just come sleep together at the bedroom tonight." Anaxa took the plate from Phainon’s hands. As soon as he mumbled the last word, he turned and hurried into the house. Snowy followed at his heels, his fluffy tail swishing from side to side.

Phainon grabbed the shovel leaning against the oven to bury the embers with sand. But he felt as though he wasn't extinguishing a wood fire on the ground, but rather a tiny spark that had ignited from something nameless in him. He looked down at his fingertips-the spot where he had brushed against Anaxa’s hand while passing the plate.

It seemed something had truly caught fire. A burning sensation spread from his fingertips to his cheeks, his ears, and all the way to the top of his head.

6.

"Sit down, son. When you debone the fish, leave a bit of the tail meat for Snowy," Mrs. Audata said as she set the table. Her husband and Anaxa were already seated. She looked up as her son walked in with a bright red face. "Oh Phainon, what's wrong? Your face is flushed."

"Ah... nothing... the fire was just too hot..." Phainon scratched his head and hurried to the kitchen sink, splashing cold water over his face.

After dinner, Phainon took his turn washing the dishes and then went to shower. By the time he was finished, it was getting late. No one was in the living room except for Snowy. Phainon’s parents usually went to bed early to work the fields at dawn. Phainon told himself he should get to sleep early, too.

But when he sat down on the sofa, he realized his pillow and blanket were gone.

"Snowy, did you run off with my pillow again?" Phainon peered into Snowy’s bed, but it wasn't there. The Samoyed let out a wronged whimper and scratched at the bedroom door.

Phainon knocked a few times before entering. The room was empty, though the sound of running water came from the bathroom. He saw his blanket and pillow neatly folded on one side of the head of the bed. On the bedside table, there were now several books, pens, and papers. He sat on the edge of the bed and curiously picked up one of the little teacher's books.

Inside were physics concepts and formulas with strange symbols. Phainon was fascinated by the diagrams of experiments and the calculations for seemingly impossible things. It turned out you could calculate how long it took to fill a water tank, or exactly how and when hot water would cool down!

Phainon had completed his twelve years of mandatory schooling, but he wasn't in the habit of writing or reading thick books, so he didn't own many, his shelf only held a few stories he’d read over and over. A few of his high school friends had moved to the city for higher education. Initially, the teachers had encouraged Phainon to go as well, since he was a bright student who understood lessons quickly, held strong opinions, and knew how to defend his arguments. But back then, his father was the only one working the fields, and Phainon didn't truly want to leave his hometown, so he chose to stay.

Anaxa stepped out of the bathroom wearing long pajamas, his wet hair wrapped in a towel. Seeing Phainon engrossed in his physics book, he walked over to see what he was reading. Phainon was so absorbed in the new information that he didn't notice the teacher sitting down right beside him.

"You like reading physics?"

"I don't understand all of it, but it’s quite interesting—Ah" Phainon answered before jumping in surprise. From this angle, Phainon could see more of the teacher's hair than his face. Anaxa was sitting so close that Phainon felt he could almost feel the dampness radiating from those strands of hair.

"I- I wasn't trying to snoop your books!" Phainon snapped the book shut.

"It’s not forbidden knowledge. Want to learn?" Anaxa reached out, his hand parting the pages of the book in Phainon’s lap.

As Anaxa leaned over to reach for the book, he pressed even closer.

Phainon swallowed hard. Suddenly, no amount of saliva felt like enough, his throat was still bone-dry.

Anaxa shifted his gaze from the book and looked up into Phainon’s blue eyes, with half-unintentional, half-searching.

"If you want to learn, I’ll teach you.”

Chapter Text

7.

Phainon’s Adam's apple bobbed incessantly, he leaned back to create a gap between them.

"Anaxa... if you go to sleep with that wet hair, you'll get sick..."

Anaxa let out an "oh." There was no electricity here, he realized, the only light in the room came from an oil lamp on the bedside table and a candle near the bathroom door. He hadn't thought about the lack of a hairdryer and had simply washed his hair in the evening out of his old habit at the city.

"Do you want to go for a walk outside for a bit? Your hair will dry faster..."

"Um, okay..." Anaxa stood up and headed toward the door.

Phainon followed closely behind. Before Anaxa stepped into the night, a cloak was draped over his shoulders, reaching down to his thighs. The cloak was slightly rough, made of coarse fabric, and held a warmth as if it had just been worn, carrying a faint scent of meadow grass. Phainon usually wore it on his back while working in the fields to protect himself from both the sun and the wind. Earlier, in his haste, he hadn't had time to grab a nicer coat, only managing to snag this one by the door.

The two of them, one tall and one short, walked along the wheat field. A slightly biting night wind blew past, causing the heavy stalks of grain to sway gently.

8.

On a nearby small hill stood an ancient tree that had been there for a very long time. Children often played there during the day, so a swing made of rope and wood hung from its branches.

Without the city lights, the sky seemed to hold more stars. Sitting on the grass beneath the tree and looking up, half the view was foliage, the other half was the starry sky. Though both shared the same frame before their eyes, one could be reached, while the other never could. Human vision is truly... cruel, it sees both the things one can reach and the things one cannot. Why allow a thirsty person to see a stream they have no way of reaching?

"What do you think of Aedes Elysiae?"

"Oh, um..." Anaxa thought for a moment, reflecting on what he had experienced in this land over the past week.

Anaxa remembered the children in the classroom, Phainon’s parents, Cyrene, and the locals who had kindly given him a ride to the temple to escape the sun.

"It’s very easy to feel included..."

Anaxa then thought of the Samoyed, Snowy, and instinctively glanced over at Phainon.

"Also very... enthusiastic, cheerful..." Anaxa paused for a moment, "it’s... peaceful but not dull."

"I'm glad you feel that way. I was just afraid there barely anything here, and that you would feel inconvenient." Phainon chuckled, scratching his head.

"Electric lights are very bright, but they’re also very glaring..." Anaxa said. "When you’ve looked at electric lights for too long, an oil lamp is actually very nice..."

"So, did you choose to transfer here to rest for a while?" Phainon nodded.

"No, I didn't choose to come here. A colleague maliciously altered my files..."

"Oh... so does that mean you'll be leaving sooner than expected...?" Phainon’s voice dropped slightly.

"No. Even though coming here was unintended... since arriving, I’ve felt that perhaps…I needed this, this place. I'm only realizing it just now..."

Anaxa braced his hands and stood up. The night wind drifting through the coarse cloak was a bit biting.

"So, I’ll likely be bothering you and Snowy for a long time, Phainon."

"I’m sure Snowy won’t mind," Phainon replied, his eyes crinkling into half-moons as he smiled.

"And what about you?" Anaxa tilted his head, a few long strands of his bangs falling to partially shade his cheek.

Phainon looked up at the young teacher standing before him, with the vast expanse of the starry sky as the backdrop.

...

In the same frame, there are things within reach and things that are not.

Because in the end, human vision is cruel, the things it shows us aren't necessarily the things we can possess.

"Of course I don't mind. Don't mention it."

"Mm, okay. Let's head back then, it's late..."

9.

Near dawn, Phainon was awakened by the sound of ragged gasps and movement beside him. He blinked and looked over to see Anaxa sitting up.

Phainon scrambled up as well, reaching over the bolster that separated them to pat Anaxa’s shoulder.

"What’s wrong?"

"It’s nothing... just- just suddenly awake..." Anaxa’s sentence was cut short several times by his uneven breathing.

"You're so hot... are you running a fever?" Phainon pressed the back of his hand against the side of Anaxa's neck. The radiating heat confirmed his suspicion.

"Is that... so..." Anaxa exhaled sharply, cupping his face in his hands. A feverish person's hands are also hot, so he couldn't tell what his own temperature actually was.

Phainon was now wide awake. His indoor slippers were on the wrong feet as he shuffled over to the cabinet in the corner of the room. He grabbed the bag of medicine he had bought a few days ago, placed it on the bedside table, and fumbled to light the oil lamp to find the fever reducers.

The silver foil of the blister pack was torn into a mess of scraps, revealing the haste of the person opening it. Phainon shuffled his left-footed slipper to the kitchen to pour some water, then returned and dropped the tablet in. A moment later, the medicine fizzed and dissolved completely, tiny bubbles clinging to the sides of the glass.

"Anaxa, here’s your medicine..." Phainon held the glass out toward him. But when Anaxa raised his hand to take it, he trembled uncontrollably, forcing Phainon to pull back, not letting him hold the glass.

"You'll spill it like this..." Phainon hesitated for a moment but then climbed onto the bed holding the glass.

Phainon used his free hand to pull Anaxa toward the headboard, tucking an extra pillow between the wood and Anaxa’s back. That same hand hovered in the air for a second before wrapping behind the teacher's head, his fingers threading through to the scalp to provide a steady support for him to look up.

So hot...

"Go slow, or you'll choke..." Phainon tilted the glass to Anaxa’s lips, which were flushed red from the fever.

It was only a little bit of medicine, but it took a while to go down. Anaxa was helped back down to lie down while Phainon busied himself in the bathroom, filling a basin with water and carrying it to the bedside. Phainon searched for a while before finding a soft cloth that wasn't rough, it was... his own face towel. But he didn't give it a second thought! He brought the towel over, dipped it, wrung it out, and wiped the sweat from around Anaxa’s neck and face, finally wringing it once more to place on his forehead.

10.

By the time Phainon woke up at his usual hour to prepare for the trip to the field to work, Anaxa still hadn't stirred. He lifted the slightly damp cloth from Anaxa’s forehead and pressed his hand there for a moment, using his other hand on his own forehead to compare.

Still a bit warm.

Anaxa was stirred by the movement and blinked his eyes open.

"Anaxa, sleep a bit longer. I'll swing by the school on my way to the market to report your absence."

"No need, I can go..." Anaxa propped himself up on his elbows, intending to sit up, but as soon as his head lifted, it throbbed as if hit by a hammer. The dizziness sent him collapsing back down immediately.

"See! Haiz… It's alright, taking one session off won't hurt, okay? Mom probably has breakfast ready, let me bring it in." Phainon pulled the blanket up to cover Anaxa to his neck before leaving the bedroom.

"Phainon, have breakfast!" Mrs. Audata said as she sliced bread from a large loaf. Mr. Hieronymus was flipping a pan full of eggs on the stove, with some pate on the side.

"The teacher boy isn't up yet?" he asked, looking at his son before returning his attention to the eggs.

"He’s awake, but he had a fever last night and hasn't fully recovered. I’m going to the school to tell Miss Pythias that he’ll be taking the day off." As Phainon spoke, he stuffed a piece of bread into his mouth, then took another plate from the table and stacked a couple of slices on it.

Wait... this won't do... Phainon thought. He paused, looking at the two dry pieces of multigrain bread on the plate, and ultimately decided not to bring them in. Instead, Phainon chewed his bread as he hopped on his bike and headed out. First, he requested the leave for the young teacher, then he circled back to the village breakfast stall to buy a bowl of rice porridge with meat to give Anaxa a change of pace. Wheat porridge was fine once you got used to it, but it could get boring.

When Phainon returned, his parents were already on the horse-drawn cart, preparing to head to the fields. "Wait for me! I'm just going in to give the teacher his medicine, then I'm coming out."

"Phainon, there's only a little bit left to do today since you cut most of the wheat yesterday. Your father and I will just go and bring it in. Stay home today and keep an eye on the small teacher. I really don't feel easy leaving that boy home alone." Phainon’s mother waved him back toward the house.

"I was planning to work half the day and then come back to check on him."

"And then go back to the field in the afternoon?"

"Yes...?"

"Just stay home. Watching you run back and forth makes me dizzy." Mrs. Audata laughed, patting the cart as her husband urged the horse to depart.

Chapter Text

11.

Deeper underwater, it gets darker; that was a lesson Anaxa had learned.

So now, as the dim light gradually faded into black, it meant he was sinking.

It was agonizing…

That feeling of helplessness when even breathing becomes impossible, as water surges in waves through the nose and mouth into the lungs. Despite trying to hold his breath and pressing his lips tight, his throat and nose felt as though they were being pierced by a blunt, rusted iron bar. He had no control, forced to watch helplessly as the "glug-glug" bubbles of life drifted upward.

Water is life, but for a species that cannot extract oxygen from it, water can also be a sledgehammer, compressing the ribs.

It was so silent…

Right, water is a poor conductor of sound. Anaxa should have liked this—an absolute silence. But amidst that void of sound, the noise inside his head and the ringing in his ears were more bothersome than anything. It’s when you finally find an environment that suits you that you realize you are the only problem left.

Could the sound of water be this noisy? The buzzing and gurgling were suddenly torn apart by something, followed immediately by a lifting force, parting the water, pulling Anaxa’s entire body up.

Without the balanced pressure of the depths, the sensation of choking finally surged. The water rushed to return to where it belonged, spilling from his mouth and nose, the liquid in his lungs was pushed, squeezed, and emptied through fits of violent coughing and retching.

Without the matter blocking the sound, the world became noisy again. The roar of the current hadn't vanished, but it was now blended with the voices of humans.

So loud… but this time, the noise was no longer unpleasant.

12.

Anaxa slept again until the early afternoon. Although his fever had subsided further after another dose of medicine at lunch, Phainon felt his mental state wasn't quite right; his face was a bit pale. So, even though Anaxa could stand and walk, Phainon wouldn't let him do a thing. He even opened the door for Snowy to stay in the room and keep him resting. Snowy seemed to understand his master’s wish; every time Anaxa moved to leave the room, the dog would pounce to block the door, tugging at the hem of his trousers to pull him back in. There wasn't much strength behind it, but looking at that goofy face, Anaxa gave in.

Looking utterly foolish is also an advantage...

"Are you hungry, Anaxa? Ms. Pythias heard you were sick and sent over this apple pie and goat milk. Shall I warm them up for you?" Phainon peeked his head through the door, smiling.

"Not yet... I'm still full from lunch," Anaxa shook his head.

Phainon opened the door fully and entered the room, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Um... I wasn't eavesdropping or anything... but were you having a nightmare earlier? You were talking in your sleep and suddenly bolted up...crying, gave me a real fright!" Phainon’s voice was full of worry, looking down to catch the young teacher's expression.

"Sorry.. I've troubled you too much, keeping you from sleeping well at night. Perhaps I should move to the living room," Anaxa sighed.

"If you're sick out there, I’ll still wake up. I’d just have to walk further. It's better if you stay in here, isn't it easier for me to take care of you? I can watch over you while I sleep. Right?" Phainon felt his logic was perfectly sound. "So don't mention sleeping on the couch again. It’s decided!"

Anaxa was "attacked" by such rustic sincerity that he couldn't argue, only nodding in compromise.

Phainon wanted to ask more, but sensing the teacher wouldn't easily open up, he swallowed his questions. He looked around, his eyes landing on the physics book from yesterday. Anaxa had asked if he wanted to learn, it seemed he hadn't answered yet.

"This..." Phainon picked up the physics book, opened the first page, and tucked it into Anaxa's hand resting on the blanket. "Can you teach me?"

Anaxa blinked. He had the feeling this young man was... trying to comfort him, though he couldn't prove it.

"Yes, alright. Sit at the desk..." Anaxa stayed on the bed but shifted closer to the desk beside it. Phainon, as if he had grown a tail, grinned and pulled out the chair to sit, hands folded neatly like a schoolboy.

13.

A horse-drawn carriage carrying a small load of wheat pulled into the front yard. Phainon ran out to lead the horse to the stable and helped unload the wheat. The stalks were golden, still holding the warmth of the sun.

"Passing through the market today, I saw someone was butchering a cow. I bought a nice lean cut, we’ll make a stew later," Phainon’s mother patted the parchment-wrapped beef. "How is the teacher? Any better?"

"Better. I’m the one taking care of him, why are you still worried, mom?" Phainon laughed.

"It’s just that poor boy is so thin. There are only three months left until winter. If he doesn't put on some meat, he’ll freeze," Mrs. Audata tutted.

In the backyard, the mother used the large earthen stove to simmer dinner. In the front, Phainon and his father were dividing and carrying the wheat to the back. Anaxa watched the scene through the window.

As Phainon strained to lift a bundle of wheat onto his shoulder, the veins in his arms stood out, and sweat trailed down his sun-kissed skin.

Anaxa suddenly felt his face flush. He recoiled instinctively, leaning his back against the wall beside the window. The young teacher was frightened by his own reaction. Why did he pay so much attention...?

"Teacher, why are you out here? You should be resting in your room." Phainon entered with his parents.

The young farmer had a coarse towel draped over his neck to wipe his sweat, and his sleeves, usually at the elbow, were rolled up near his shoulders. As Phainon stepped closer, the scent of sweat and sun-baked wheat drifted over.

Anaxa turned his face away and took a few steps back, not wanting to reveal his burning face. Phainon, thinking Anaxa was repulsed by his sweat, stopped and didn't come any closer.

"Lying down too much makes me sluggish. I wanted to move around a bit," Anaxa muttered under his breath.

"Phainon, we’re out of carrots for the beef stew. The money is on the kitchen table," the father said, stooping to check the cabinets. "And onions too, we’re out of those as well."

"Got it, I'll go now," Phainon replied, about to head out but then pausing. "Um... teacher Anaxa, do you want to come along? For some fresh air? It's close by."

"Alright."

As they went out the door, Anaxa habitually walked toward the straw-laden horse carriage.

"Ah, let's take the bicycle, it's faster. I already put the horse back in the stable," Phainon grinned, flicking the bicycle bell with a ring-ring. But internally, Phainon immediately regretted it: Damn it, he doesn't like the smell of sweat, sitting on a bike might be a bad idea, oh no—

Anaxa nodded without hesitation and moved behind Phainon to sit on the rack.

__

"It's been almost seven years since a teacher from the city came here, because the way back is so far. Everyone is very fond of you. That old lady just now gave us a whole bag of fruit, said it's for the teacher to nourish himself."

Anaxa gave a quiet "mm."

It truly was far, and a bit inconvenient. When he first arrived, the train station didn't go straight to Aedes Elysiae, it only stopped in the neighboring town. There were no taxis or passenger carriages. Anaxa had walked nearly five kilometers before hitching a ride on a farmer's hay wagon. The dirt roads weren't entirely level, jolting every so often. Anaxa sat sideways on the back of the bicycle, one hand gripping the seat in front.

"Um... moving here, you must be missing home. If you want to visit them, tell me and I'll drive you to the station so you don't have to walk so far. And when you come back, just send me a telegram two or three days in advance, and I'll pick you up."

Anaxa opened his mouth to say something but bit his lip and swallowed the words. Perhaps things this heavy shouldn't be spoken...

"Okay," Anaxa finally replied. "Thank you."

Phainon sensed the hesitation but wasn't too surprised and didn't pry.

Actually, this morning when Anaxa had the nightmare, Phainon had sat there the whole time, hearing the young teacher mumble "sister" quite piteously. Seeing the situation was bad, Phainon had tried to wake him. His question carried a bit of curiosity and scrutiny. Usually, city folk who moved here would go to the next town at least once a week to charge their phones or send telegrams and letters to family and friends. But nearly three weeks had passed, and Phainon hadn't even seen Anaxa touch his phone. Did he really not have a single person to share this long journey with...?

"It's nothing, don't worry about bothering me. Normally at this time of year, I don't have much to do anyway as the harvest is over," Phainon smiled.

The bike braked and stopped in the yard. Phainon dropped the bag of fresh vegetables into a basin of water. In the yard, Mrs. Audata was cleaning vegetables while Snowy sat nearby, crunching on discarded cabbage stalks. At the same time, from the backyard, a plume of white smoke rose from the earthen stove. Mr. Hieronymus walked around to the front.

"The stove is lit."

"Yes, yes, almost done here."

Anaxa squinted at the rising smoke, which blurred the sun drifting toward the horizon. He watched Phainon's family bustling to prepare dinner. Out on the path, children were skipping and laughing, saying goodbye to head home for dinner.

Family...yes, he should probably go back for a visit. The grass must be very high by now. He should tidy up...

14.

Four weeks later, nearly two months into Anaxa’s stay, he announced he would go back to visit his family. Upon hearing the news, Phainon and his parents prepared local specialties for Anaxa to take back.

"Thank you for your kindness but…it’s not necessary. I'll only be gone for three days, I can't finish that much by myself."

"But didn't you say you were visiting family...?" Phainon’s mother was deboning fish for Snowy.

"Yes. I'm going back to clear the weeds, then I'll return."

The dinner table suddenly went silent, save for the sound of Snowy eating greedily on the floor.

Anaxa felt as though he had misspoken. He picked up his bowl, finished the last of his soup, and stood up.

"I've finished. I'll go pack my bags." Anaxa placed his bowl and spoon in the sink and went back to his room.

Phainon blinked, watching Anaxa's retreating figure, then looked down at the small sack of vegetables on the kitchen table.

"Uh, I'm full too. Mom, Dad, leave the dishes, I'll wash them later or tomorrow." Phainon stepped over Snowy, rinsed his hands at the tap, and wandered off outside.

___

When he returned to the room, the lamp wasn't lit. Anaxa was already tucked into one side of the bed, facing the wall, so Phainon didn't know if he was asleep. A small bag sat ready on the chair, but his books were still on the desk. Phainon crawled into bed. The moonlight from the window seemed brighter than usual, falling across the long pillow separating them. Phainon saw a strand of Anaxa’s mint-colored hair on the pillow between them, close to his shoulder.

He couldn't help himself, and reached out. His slightly calloused fingers toyed with the strands. Under the moonlight, the mint color shimmered on his fingertips. The hair felt cool, like a precious metal, yet inexplicably felt hot to the touch.

Phainon's hand moved from the shoulder, drawing that long lock along the pillow toward his own face.

Teacher just washed his hair this morning... it still has a faint scent of cinnamon from that city shampoo... Phainon’s palms and fingers were calloused and couldn't feel much, but when those strands touched his lips, he finally felt how soft they were.

Suddenly, Anaxa shifted slightly. Phainon jerked his hand away, lying stiff as a board. After a moment, he sat up and peered over. Seeing the young teacher still asleep, he let out a sigh of relief and lay back down.

Anaxa blinked, burying his bright flustered face deeper into the blanket. Although the moonlight didn't reach this far in, it seemed Anaxa was more afraid of facing his own emotions than facing Phainon. His first instinct was to hide.

15.

Phainon woke up first and prepared breakfast as usual. A moment later, Anaxa walked out with the bag he had prepared. Phainon ate quickly, stuffing two pieces of bread into his mouth and gulping down milk to wash them down, finishing in half his usual time.

When saying goodbye to Phainon’s parents, Anaxa noticed the metal rack on the back of the bicycle was now covered with a layer of cloth, slightly padded with straw underneath. Anaxa looked at the makeshift cushion for a moment before clutching his bag and sitting down.

"Aren't you taking your books?" Phainon asked, whistling as he pedaled.

"No, I’m leaving them for you to study."

From Anaxa’s tone, Phainon could tell his mood was better than usual today.

"Then I'll study hard."

"Good. I'll test you when I return."

"Ah... about that," Phainon chuckled, then changed the subject. "Even when you have a hair dryer there, don't wash your hair too late teacher, or you'll get sick."

"Mmm."

The station was more crowded than usual. You could easily spot the city people by their clothes, perhaps like Anaxa, traveling far and returning today. Phainon followed Anaxa to buy his ticket, then tagged along all the way to the platform gate before stopping.

"Have a safe trip. Um... give my regards to your parents..." Phainon waved. Anaxa had the impression the two tufts of hair on Phainon's head were waving along with him.

"Yes," Anaxa nodded, waving back. "Remember to study."

16.

It wasn't until evening that Anaxa reached his apartment in Okhema. He entered, took off his shoes, but fumbled in the dark for a long time before remembering he had forgotten to turn on the lights. He switched them on, showered, and went back out. He went to the convenience store downstairs to buy some instant noodles, gimbap, and two bottles of mineral water.

At 9:00 PM, the city was still brightly lit, the roar of traffic echoing from all sides. Anaxa sighed, looking at the clear water bottle with its blue label.

On his first morning back in the city after two months, Anaxa woke up very early, his biological clock seemed to have been reset. But he was greeted by the dim shadows of the living room: no breakfast, no voices. Anaxa walked over and pulled the curtains to let the light in.

He changed and went out, buying a croissant and a paper cup of coffee before walking to a flower shop. He bought three small bouquets, but his eyes fell on a wooden stand full of seeds. Anaxa picked up a few packets and dropped them on the counter. Outside, he caught a taxi to the suburbs. The ride took over forty-five minutes before stopping at the gates of a large cemetery. Rows of headstones stretched across the well-manicured grass to the foot of the hill. Anaxa walked straight in to a spot near a tree where three identical headstones stood, slightly covered in moss.

"Dad, Mom, Sister Diotima..."

Anaxa set the three bouquets down and sat by the base of the tree. He pulled the now-cold croissant from the paper bag and set the coffee on a flat spot. He sat there in silence, finishing his breakfast, then stood up to borrow a broom from the caretaker. The grass wasn't very high as the management seemed to have maintained it recently, so Anaxa simply swept the fallen leaves off the graves.

He spent the remaining two days reporting to the school, tidying up, and grabbing a few more books from his shelf and winter clothes to take back.

The train ride back to the town took seven hours. As he stepped onto the platform, Anaxa felt a strange sensation. He was clearly leaving "home," yet it felt like he was returning to a place where he truly belonged.

The moment Anaxa stepped out of the station toward the waiting benches, before he could even look up to find a person, that person already ran toward him. Phainon immediately grabbed the bag from Anaxa’s hand and the new backpack full of clothes.

"Teacher, the train ride must have been tiring. Mom and dad are making fish soup for dinner."

Anaxa nodded, following Phainon to the waiting carriage.

Mom and dad are making fish soup... not 'my parents,' just 'Mom and dad'. Anaxa bit his lip, feeling as though he had become a bit too comfortable. Perhaps Phainon was just speaking colloquially...

17.

In early autumn, the main harvest officially ended. From this time of year onward, people would plant short-term crops or go out to sea to catch and smoke fish for winter storage. At the end of the season, there was a harvest festival, people would build a large bonfire on the open ground behind the temple to grill meat and fish and drink beer fermented from wheat.

A few hours before the festival, Phainon had marinated two large fish caught that morning along with a large bowl of potato salad. Anaxa was out in the yard, using a knife to sharpen branches, stripping the bark until they were straight enough to skewer meat. Initially, Phainon disagreed, saying the branches were rough and could cut his skin, but Anaxa said it would be fine if he used a cloth to hold them. Phainon understood the young teacher; he was usually quiet, but once he made up his mind, he wouldn't budge. So, Phainon cut a piece of an old sack for Anaxa to protect his hand.

When evening came, Phainon led Anaxa to the area behind the temple—the place where the locals had taken Anaxa to escape the sun during his first days. Cyrene was in the front yard with the children, using straw and wildflowers to weave crowns. Seeing Phainon and Anaxa arrive, the children chirped their greetings, calling out "Brother Phainon" and "Teacher Anaxa." The adults were moving firewood and large crates of beer toward the back by carriage.

"Teacher, I'm going to help everyone move things. You stay here with Cyrene and come over in a bit."

Anaxa nodded without protest, he knew he wouldn't be much help out there anyway. It was better to stay here than to get in everyone's way. But in the eyes of Cyrene and the children, it looked like: "Teacher Anaxa listens to brother Phainon the most. Teacher nods to whatever he says."

Sitting idle with the children was a bit boring, so Cyrene thrust a few long stalks of straw into Anaxa’s hand. Anaxa blinked, seeing the children all watching him. Although he was used to the unconscious "puppy-dog" expressions of Snowy….and Phainon, he still couldn't resist.

"Um... how do you do this?" He picked up a stalk of straw.

Chapter Text

17.

"Teacher, the back is all set, let’s... go..."

Phainon froze in his tracks, his eyes blinking rapidly. Five paces ahead of him, a group of children had gathered. Behind Anaxa stood two little girls: one was busily braiding a long lock of his hair, while the other was picking tiny wildflowers and impulsively tucking them into his mint-green strands without any particular order or color scheme. Atop the young teacher's head sat a chaotic crown of straw and flowers, with dry stalks poking out toward the sky in every direction. Yet, for some reason, Phainon found this mess strangely easy on the eyes.

Hearing Phainon’s voice, Anaxa turned his head and let out a soft "oh."

"Does it look good?" Anaxa asked.

Phainon hadn't expected Anaxa to ask that.

"Huh—ah... uh... erm, yes... it’s very beautiful," Phainon stammered.

"Good, then. Cyrene made it," Anaxa said, gesturing to the crown on his head.

Oh... he meant...the crown? Phainon nearly choked on his own spit.

"It’s lovely... Cyrene has always been skillful like that. It suits you well," Phainon said, scratching his head.

Anaxa pulled another straw crown from his lap. This one looked... a bit lopsided. The straw stalks weren't tied tightly and kept poking outward, the blue and yellow flowers, though pleasant to look at, seemed to have been handled with uneven force, some were missing petals, and others were nothing but... stems.

"This one... is a bit—"

"It’s for you," Anaxa tilted his head. "A bit what? I made it myself. Though, it does look a bit—"

"IT’S BEAUTIFUL!"

Phainon’s voice suddenly boomed, causing the noisy children to fall silent before they erupted into giggles. Anaxa stayed dazed for a moment.

"Oh... well, if you like it... that’s good." He nodded, holding the straw crown out toward Phainon.

Phainon moved forward like a mechanical doll being wound up. One, two, three, four, five steps... then, he suddenly dropped to his knees, bowing his head toward Anaxa.

Anaxa was startled, he had initially thought Phainon would just reach out and take it. Perhaps this is another traditional custom of the countryside, Anaxa thought. Even though Phainon was kneeling on the ground, Anaxa was perched on a tree trunk, because of the significant height difference, he had to lean forward quite a bit to place the straw ring on Phainon’s head.

"Alright, stand up." Anaxa even gave Phainon’s head two gentle pats right on the crown. To him, this gesture toward a student was perfectly normal.

But for Phainon, he felt it was a great mercy that he didn't actually have a dog's tail, if he did, it would surely be wagging at some shameful, physically impossible speed.

18.

As the sun dipped below the horizon, the villagers lit the bonfire. Phainon took the two prepared fish and several skewers of marinated meat from his basket and set them by the fire. One by one, everyone else brought out their prepared food to grill. To one side, people were using hammers to tap the taps into wooden kegs, pouring out rows of golden, frothy barley beer. Beside them was a barrel of barley tea steeped with berries, meant for the children and those who didn't drink.

Phainon deboned a fish onto a plate, piled all the meat onto another clean plate, and pushed it toward Anaxa. The young teacher was gnawing on a meat skewer, having only made it halfway through the first chunk.

"Grilled food is dry on its own. I'll go get you some barley tea?" Phainon wiped his hands and stood up.

"Mm, alright. Thank you," Anaxa nodded, picking up a fork to slowly nibble through more than half of the deboned fish.

When Phainon returned, he saw the fish was mostly gone. He set the drink tray down and set to work deboning the second fish, even stripping the meat from the skewers and shredding it into smaller pieces.

After finishing the second fish, Phainon wiped his hands and picked up a fork to eat. Midway through, he picked up the remaining cup on the tray and took a long gulp, only to realize... this wasn't beer.

He clearly remembered taking one tea and one beer. Or had he accidentally taken two teas? Phainon glanced at the cup next to Anaxa, it was already empty. He hesitated for a moment before reaching over, bringing the cup to his face to sniff it.

Oh no, oh no... this was the beer...

Under the flickering firelight, the tea and beer looked similar, once the foam subsided, they were very easy to mix up.

"Teacher, that wasn't tea!!" Phainon said, sounding panicked.

"I know. It’s beer," Anaxa nodded. "I’d heard of Aedes Elysiae’s draft beer, it really is quite delicious."

Phainon blinked. "Teacher... are you okay?" He didn't seem drunk at all. Truthfully, one cup wasn't enough to get someone drunk as people usually knocked back one or two just to quench their thirst. But Phainon had always assumed the tolerance of someone... so thin... would be terrible, so he had a strict obsession with keeping the young teacher away from alcohol.

"I'm fine. Can I have another cup? Or is it limited to one per person?" Anaxa poked his fork into the freshly deboned fish. Phainon instinctively pushed the plate closer to him.

"Ah, sure, sure... let me... get you another." Phainon scratched his head, took Anaxa's empty cup, and wandered over to the keg to refill it.

19.

Throughout the evening, Phainon counted a total of five times he had gotten up to fetch beer for the teacher. Because Anaxa had drunk quite a bit, Phainon abandoned his original plan to have a little drink himself, he didn't touch a drop of alcohol, and barely even finished one cup of tea.

Late into the night, as the wood had almost burnt out, the crowd began to disperse in waves. Children followed their parents home early, waving goodbye to Phainon and "the teacher." Phainon waved back, but Anaxa only offered a few vague mumbles, sitting in place and poking at a few pieces of meat despite being unable to eat another bite.

"Teacher, the party’s over. Let’s go home?" Phainon peered down at Anaxa’s face. The dim firelight cast a glow over the teacher's flushed cheeks.

"Mm... let's go home." Anaxa stood up, frowning as he felt his legs lose their strength.

"Shall I carry you on my back?"

"No need... um..." Anaxa held his head, trying to stand again. But he was immediately hoisted up by a much greater force. The scent of fire-warmed wood on fabric, the faint sweetness of berries from the tea, and the light scent of sweat mingled together, hitting Anaxa’s drowsy senses due to the close proximity.

Phainon carried the teacher home in his arms like that. The house was pitch black, even Snowy was snoring in his bed in the living room. Phainon squeezed into the bedroom and set Anaxa down on the bed. Just as he was about to pull up the covers, he realized Anaxa’s shirt was slightly damp and smelled of smoke and food.

"Anaxa... are you still awake? Let’s change your clothes before you sleep, or you'll catch a cold." Phainon gently shook him.

"Mm..." Anaxa blinked, his vision only half-open.

Fearing Anaxa would fall asleep, Phainon hurriedly rummaged through Anaxa’s wardrobe for clothes, pulling out a pair of long-sleeved pajamas with... some sort of cartoon animal pattern. When he returned to the bed, Phainon propped Anaxa up against the headboard. Seeing him motionless, Phainon grew frantic, but when he brought the light close to his face, he discovered Anaxa had already drifted off to sleep.

_____

Half an hour later, Anaxa was dressed in the cartoon pajamas, sleeping soundly in the middle of the bed with the blanket pulled up to his neck.

Snowy, lying in the living room, was suddenly woken up. He looked up to see his master shivering as he walked out of the bathroom, collapsing onto the sofa with a heavy thump.

"Oh- did I wake you, Snowy? Sorry. Go back to sleep." Phainon patted his head. Snowy crawled back into his bed with a huff, as if complaining that his "private space" had been invaded again.

Phainon lay stiffly on the sofa, his hands folded over his stomach. It kept looping on his mind, the scenes of when— no no no!! If he take another cold shower, he won't be able to get up tomorrow!! Phainon covered his face and let out a long, heavy sigh, waking Snowy up yet again.

20.

The next morning, Anaxa woke up later than usual. It was Sunday, so there was no school. When he stepped out, he found a parchment-wrapped loaf of bread, and the pumpkin soup in the pot was still warm. Just as he sat down, Phainon walked in from outside, carrying two buckets of water filled with what looked like laundry that needed washing.

Anaxa was a bit startled when he looked at Phainon’s face, the dark circles under his eyes seemed more prominent than usual today. Normally, Phainon was an "early to bed, early to rise" type who looked very energetic.

"Teacher Anaxa... good morning... I’ll reheat the soup for you..." Phainon gave a sheepish smile. He set the buckets aside and turned on the stove for the pumpkin soup. He waited for it to come to a rolling boil before hurriedly switching it off and ladling a bowl so full it spilled over the sides. He had to wipe it with a towel before bringing it to the table.

"Um... if you aren't feeling well, you should go rest. Let me know if there's anything I can help with," Anaxa said, swallowing a piece of bread and looking up to examine the young man's expression. After all, he was staying here for free, helping with chores was only natural.

"It’s nothing, teacher—er... I just... drank too much last night, so I'm a bit tired." Phainon laughed hollowly.

"Oh... well, that makes sense. My head is a bit achy too," Anaxa shrugged.

"What? Your head hurts? I'll go boil some cinnamon tea!" Phainon, who had been sitting with a slouched back, immediately bolted upright.

Anaxa opened his mouth to say something, but Phainon had already vanished. A moment later, he reappeared... grabbed the two buckets of water, and vanished again.

Phainon is... so strange today... he must really be sick. Anaxa looked at the pumpkin soup filled to the very brim and couldn't help but laugh softly to himself. Quite... adorable.

The young teacher suddenly caught himself and shook his head vigorously. The piece of bread in his mouth nearly choked him, and he had to gulp down half a glass of water to get it down.

Chapter Text

21.

Late autumn in Aedes Elysiae saw the exchange market grow bustling. One day, after his shift at the school, Anaxa decided to wander through the stalls for a while.

Most vendors were selling heavy winter gear; seeing the thickness of the garments made the young teacher feel a flicker of dread regarding the severity of the local cold. The cotton-padded jacket stall was already half-empty. Beside it, a young woman sat knitting long-sleeved sweaters from sheep's wool; the woolen goods displayed before her took on an air of intricate craftsmanship. Anaxa spotted a sea-blue scarf among them and, moved by curiosity, picked it up to examine the knit.

Suddenly, a familiar voice drifted from the distance. Anaxa narrowed his eyes and looked over to see Phainon standing at a... jewelry stall, holding a U-shaped hairpin adorned with two dried red berries and a few silver pine leaves. Anaxa didn't approach. He watched as Phainon spoke with the vendor; the girl picked up a pin and turned around to demonstrate how to use it.

By the time Phainon felt a pair of eyes watching him from afar, Anaxa had already slipped away from the market.

That evening, after bathing and letting the breeze dry his hair, Anaxa sat outside a moment longer. The wooden bench creaked softly as Phainon sat down beside him.

"It’s almost winter, don't wash your hair so late…" Phainon said.

"Mm." Anaxa nodded, his long, loose strands framing his face.

"Um….may I help you tie your hair up?" Phainon stammered.

Anaxa had intended to say they were about to go to sleep anyway, so there was no need. But a sudden spark of anticipation flared within him, he thought of the silver pin he'd seen Phainon buying that morning. He nodded and turned his back to the youth.

Phainon’s slightly calloused fingers gathered the silken strands, his touch grazing the nape of Anaxa’s neck and sending a faint, ticklish shiver through him. The hair was coiled several times and finally secured into a loose bun at the base of his neck.

Anaxa turned back around and reached up to touch the knot behind his head. He didn't feel the cool metal he had expected. Instead, his fingers met only a thin strip of fabric. Anaxa opened his mouth, but the words he wanted to say withered.

"Thank you..." Anaxa nodded and stood up. "I’m a bit tired today; I’ll head to bed first." The young teacher gave Phainon only a fleeting glance before turning his face away completely.

Phainon blinked, watching the departing figure for a long while. He felt something was amiss, yet he couldn't put a finger on why. He could only reason to himself that the teacher truly was exhausted, or perhaps his clumsy movements had pulled the hair too hard and caused him pain…?

22.

The next day, just as the afternoon bells rang, Anaxa bid farewell to his students and stepped out of the schoolhouse. Miss Pythias nodded to him, and the young teacher returned the gesture.

"Goodbye mrs. Pythias, I'm heading off now."

"Yes, yes, get home safely, teacher Anaxa!" Miss Pythias chirped with a wave.

Anaxa planned to visit the village temple first. Though the school had a library, it was quite small. The last time Cyrene had led him to the back chamber of the temple, the sight of wooden bookshelves soaring to the ceiling and the stone walkways connecting them had left him breathless. He wanted to return and explore further.

As he walked through the short corridor of the temple, Anaxa suddenly turned his head to the left, peering through a window that overlooked a central courtyard with a skylight. There was Phainon, holding the silver hairpin from the other day, clumsily trying to fasten it into a girl's hair. Anaxa froze, leaning his back against the wall beside the window.

Why does he care so much? Anaxa asked himself silently.

He didn't continue to the library. Instead, he turned on his heel and walked away.

23.

As soon as the dismissal bell rang, the children swarmed out of the classroom like bees from a broken hive. Their chirping farewells blurred together so quickly the young teacher could hardly keep up. At first, Anaxa tried to address each students: "Goodbye, Methius, see you again, Athan..." but eventually, he could only manage a series of "Mm-hm, goodbye, goodbye." He ended up just sitting there waving, one mischievous child even took the chance to pat the teacher’s hand before giggling and running off.

Just as the last child left, a mother and daughter stepped back inside.

"Teacher, may I speak with you for a moment?"

Anaxa, who was stuffing books into his bag, looked up and hesitated.

"Are you... Methius's mother?" he asked, looking closely.

It was her, the woman Phainon had been pinning hair for at the temple.

"Yes, that's right. My daughter came home talking about a wonderful set of colored pencil you have. I wanted to ask where you bought them, if they're from the city, I can place an order in town."

"Oh..." Anaxa opened his desk drawer and pulled out a tin filled with perfectly aligned colored pencils. The child’s eyes lit up instantly.

"This is for you." Anaxa closed the box, knelt down with one knee touching the floor, and handed the set to Methius. The box was quite wide, and the little girl had to use both arms to hug it.

"Oh, this looks expensive, teacher, let me pay for it…."

"It’s fine. Take it, I have more." Anaxa stood up.

The mother leaned down, nudging the girl’s shoulder. "Come on, thank the teacher, sweetheart."

Anaxa caught a glimpse of the mother’s hair. Tucked into it was a carved wooden pin.

"Thank you, Teacher Anaxa! I'll use this set very well."

The mother covered her mouth with a light laugh. "You're so kind, Teacher. No wonder Ph—oh, it's nothing, haha, I’m talking too much. Thank you, I'll be going now!" She scooped up her child and hurried out.

Anaxa watched their silhouettes fade. He didn't leave immediately but reached into the cabinet for a neatly organized folder containing his students' drawings.

Methius... here it is. Anaxa looked at a crayon drawing of three stick figures. The middle one was the smallest with two pigtails—Methius. The one on the right had a bun with a single horizontal line for a hairpin—the mother from just now. The last one on the left had a row of black whiskers—a man, older, likely not a brother; perhaps a father or a grandfather.

Anaxa suddenly felt... as though his thoughts were overstepping.

What am I to Phainon anyway... to be wondering who he likes or doesn't like?

__________

The next day, the moment the bell rang, Methius scurried to the podium, holding a drawing as high as her arms could reach. She was showing Anaxa what she had drawn the night before with her new colors.

"Teacher Anaxa, look! This is for you!"

Anaxa knelt down and accepted the drawing with both hands, examining it seriously.

Methius moved to his side, pointing her finger to give him a tour.

"This is Teacher Anaxa!" She pointed to a stick figure with a head colored entirely in blue and a body filled with solid black.

Does he really wear black that often? Anaxa mused.

"And this is you, right?" Anaxa pointed to the girl with pigtails.

"That's right! It looks just like me, doesn't it? Hehe. And next to me is Snowy! I love lying on his belly the most!" Methius pointed to a white 'cloud' with two dots for eyes. "And this is Phainon!"

"Oh, why is Phainon here? Do you like him too? Like Snowy?" Anaxa asked.

"No, no. Phainon likes you, that's why I drew him here," Methius said matter-of-factly, without a hint of hesitation.

The classroom was noisy with children talking, but suddenly, the inside of Anaxa's head went completely silent.

"Um... why do you think Phainon likes me, Methius?" Anaxa asked, his voice softer than before.

"It’s because on the day you first arrived and were sick in the courtyard, Phainon carried you into the temple! In my storybooks, don't the princes always do that?"

Anaxa breathed a sigh of relief. It was just a fairy-tale association...

"That’s not quite right. Carrying someone... it's usually because that person can't walk. When you were small and couldn't walk well, your parents carried you too, didn't they?" Anaxa explained gently.

"Oh... I guess that's true." Methius put her hand to her chin, deep in thought. "But the other day, he even came to ask my mother how to tie a hair bun! He said he wanted to give a hairpin you. In my family, all of my mom's hairpins were given by my dad! Don't you gift them because you really like them?"

Anaxa bit his lip, feeling a lump form in his throat. Even when Methius said her goodbyes, Anaxa could only wave, he couldn't find a single word to say.

24.

When Anaxa returned home, he didn't immediately hide in his room.

He had been avoiding Phainon these past few days... was the boy feeling very sad? Anaxa wanted to kick himself for realizing he had misunderstood a good kid and ignored him for a whole week.

Anaxa looked down at Snowy, who was lying on his lap, and imagined Phainon’s crestfallen face through the dog’s features.

The door rattled and swung open. Phainon had just returned from fishing. His bucket and rod were left outside, he came in planning to have a glass of water before cleaning the fish.

"You're back."

Phainon jumped, turning his head toward the sofa. His hand on the water pitcher froze. He saw Anaxa reclining on the couch, with Snowy half-on the cushions and half-pillowed on the teacher’s stomach, sleeping soundly.

"You— Anaxa, haha... yeah, I’m back. Do you want to eat some fish?" Phainon held the glass but didn't take a sip.

"mm go ahead. Grill them," Anaxa nodded, trying to keep his voice as 'normal' as possible.

"Okay, okay, okay! I'll go get the grill ready!" Phainon set the full glass back down and dashed outside. The door slammed a bit too hard, startling Snowy awake. The dog blinked up at Anaxa.

"Wake up. We're eating grilled fish." Anaxa rubbed the top of the dog's ears, making the fur stand on end. Anaxa stared at him for a moment, narrowing his eyes.

They really do look alike... He kind of want to try that on the human version to see if it gets messy like this too….

Chapter Text

25.

Winter in Aedes Elysiae had passed its first third, and the peak of the deep freeze had arrived a few days prior. The school had announced a winter break lasting two months.

Like any teacher, during the last lesson before the long break, Anaxa assigned homework for the students to review. But unlike other teachers who would assign exercises from textbooks and workbooks, the young teacher simply wrote a single-line topic on the blackboard. He said they could submit it as an essay, a diary, or even a factual field note accompanied by photos.

"Teacher Anaxa, but if we want to print photos, we have to go all the way to the town. There’s no photo lab in the village," one student raised their hand.

"Oh, I forgot. I'm sorry," Anaxa thought for a moment. "But besides photos, please... be creative. Don't think too rigidly, there’s no fixed grading standard. Alright, class dismissed."

The children swarmed out for a while before the bell actually rang. Anaxa packed his books into his bag, stepped to the door, and took his puffer coat and wool scarf from the hook.

As he walked out of the classroom, he saw a prominent, tall figure standing among the children who were rushing out to find their parents. Sensing eyes on him, Phainon looked around and met Anaxa’s gaze for a split second.

"Teacher Anaxa!" Phainon grinned.

"Sorry to trouble you with picking me up again." Anaxa looked up, his breath forming plumes of white mist.

"Why are your cheeks so red? Is your skin chapped?" Phainon leaned down slightly, he meant nothing by it, he just wanted a closer look. But the "ohhh!" sounds from the surrounding children made Phainon stop and recoil a bit. He had almost forgotten there were so many people around. He scratched his head.

"Let's go home. The sun is setting" Anaxa turned his face away and sat on the back of the bike, where the straw cushion had remained ever since.

The snow had fallen quite heavily last night, so Phainon had to wake up earlier than usual to clear a path so the young teacher could get to school. Other households were also struggling with the deep drifts in front of their doors; consequently, many students were late today, though every single one attended despite it being the final day.

26.

After taking off his shoes, Anaxa immediately ran inside to find a towel to wrap his feet. Having previously lived in a southern city where the coldest days only saw a thin dusting of snow, he had never experienced it being deep enough to sink past his ankles. Anaxa realized he had been too complacent, he thought a warm coat and a beanie were enough, but now he saw that wherever skin was exposed, the cold bit deep. His flat shoes, even with two pairs of socks, couldn't keep the warmth in for long.

Phainon went around to the back of the house where enough firewood had been chopped and stacked to feed the hearth. He carried an armful inside, tossed it into the fireplace, and struck a light.

Like a cat sensing warmth, Anaxa crawled from the other side of the sofa down to the rug closer to the fireplace. Snowy trotted over and sat beside him.

The young teacher watched as Phainon dropped some dried leaves, seemingly tea, into a handled pot. Then, Phainon used a long iron rod to prop the pot near the fire, hanging it from a pre-installed hook. As the flames licked the pot, the water boiled, and the gentle aroma of cinnamon and black tea filled the room. Phainon hooked the pot back out and poured it into a ceramic mug.

"Teacher, cinnamon warms the body. Here, drinking this will make you feel better." Phainon set the tea on a low table nearby, then leaned down to take the towel wrapped around Anaxa’s feet.

"You should dry your feet off and swap for a new towel. Wrapping them in a damp one will just make you catch a chill." Phainon didn't think twice, he used the towel to give a final rub to Anaxa’s feet, which were flushed red at the joints from the damp snow.

Anaxa’s mouth parted as if to say something, but the words were swallowed back down.

Suddenly, the door clicked open. Phainon’s parents returned from town, entering with cheerful chatter, but they fell silent the moment they looked toward the fireplace.

Their son was sitting on the rug, one hand holding a towel, the other... holding the young teacher’s ankle, very carefully dabbing away the cold moisture.

"Oh, you’re home early! How was the visit to Uncle?" Phainon looked up obliviously, failing to see the strange look in his parents' eyes.

"Dad? Mom?" Phainon called again, pulling them out of their thoughts.

"Ah, yes... yes, your uncle is well, and your grandparents are fine too... I—I’m going to go cook dinner." Mrs. Audata coughed into her hand, tied her apron, and hurried into the kitchen. A moment later, she looped back to drag her husband who was still standing there dazed, into the kitchen with her.

27.

Phainon tossed the towel into the laundry basket and rummaged through a cupboard to pull out a pair of thick, fleece-lined socks.

"Teacher, wear these. Yours are too thin, they aren't warm enough."

"Mm, thank you." Anaxa took the socks quickly, not giving Phainon a chance…

"Phainon, come here, I need your help," Mrs. Audata called from the kitchen.

Phainon jumped up, ruffled Snowy’s head, and walked into the kitchen.

"You called, Mom? Need me to buy something?" Phainon walked in to find both his parents standing there. Several dishes on the stove were already finished.

"Phainon, tell me the truth!" She hesitated. "Do you... do you have feelings for that boy?"

"What are you talking about, Mom? What feelings? For whom?" Phainon still didn't quite grasp the situation.

"This silly son of mine... your intentions are written all over your face. You can't hide it at all, even a small child can see it." Mrs. Audata sighed.

"Phainon’s mother, calm down. It’s not such a big deal..." Mr. Hieronymus untied his apron and hung it on the door, picking up two plates to carry out. "Let’s eat first."

He went out first, leaving the mother and son in the kitchen. Mrs. Audata rubbed her temples.

"Mom... you don't want me to like him?" Phainon asked in a small voice.

"That’s not what I mean!" She reached out, gently squeezing Phainon’s sleeves, looking up at the son she had raised to be this tall. "He is a very good person, but... there’s only one year left on his transfer. After that, he has to go back to the city. Besides, do you think he would feel the same?"

"Mom, whether he... likes me or not doesn't change the fact that I like him." Phainon bit his lip. "So... it’s okay if he doesn't know. When it’s time for him to leave, I won't hold him back."

"This boy... your tongue is as silver as your father’s. Fine, then. It’s good that you think that way. Just... restrain your feelings a little...don’t be too obvious…scared him off" The mother could only sigh. "Come on, let’s eat." She picked up the soup bowl and walked out.

Phainon followed with a stack of plates, cutlery, and water glasses. The young teacher was still sitting by the fireplace, with Snowy lying across Anaxa’s feet to keep them warm. Seeing Phainon bringing the food, Anaxa tucked his feet back, stood up, and helped take the plates, setting the table. Snowy trotted over to his bowl on the floor, tail wagging expectantly.

28.

On the first day of winter break, the young teacher woke up later than usual. Anaxa didn't see Phainon at home and assumed he had gone fishing or was doing some work in the village. But past noon, as he was helping Phainon’s parents set the table, the young man still hadn't returned. Mrs. Audata only set three places.

"Mrs…, isn't Phainon coming back for lunch?" Anaxa wiped the three sets of forks.

"Ah, his uncle’s house in town needed some flour and oats, so I told Phainon to take the wagon and deliver them. He’ll probably be back by evening," Mrs. Audata smiled. "Come, sit and eat. Eat plenty, boy, you’re so thin, don't you feel the cold?" She used tongs to give Anaxa an extra piece of fish belly and ladled more soup into his bowl.

“Mrs. Audata…”

“Just called me auntie like the kids do, don’t be too formal!

"Auntie... you and Uncle are so good to me. Thank you." Anaxa accepted the soup and picked up his fork, looking at the overflowing plate with a bit of embarrassment. This much... he'll have to try his best to finish it...

Aside from sitting by the fire, he spent the day catching the brief glimpses of the afternoon sun. Anaxa read through his physics book twice but still couldn't find the inspiration for his thesis. Snowy went out to play in the snow with the children, or rather, Snowy was used as a walking shield and got pelted until his face was dazed. By the time he wagged his tail back to Anaxa’s feet, his fur was covered in a layer of icy, damp slush. When Anaxa leaned down, the touch of the cold fur made him shiver.

"You're too mischievous... come on, get inside and warm up, or you'll get sick." Anaxa leaned down to brush the snow off Snowy, intending to go back inside.

At that moment, the sound of hoofbeats approached, finally stopping in the yard. The last orange rays of the day hit Phainon's cool white hair, making it look remarkably soft.

"Teacher Anaxa, were you waiting for me?" Phainon grinned as he stepped down from the wagon.

Before Anaxa could say he wasn't, Phainon thrust a beige cloth bag into his arms.

"This is..." Anaxa blinked.

"Get inside first. The sun is down, the wind is going to get biting, teacher." Phainon hauled two large sacks from the wagon, giving Anaxa’s shoulder a gentle nudge toward the house.

Phainon’s parents were simmering stew. Hearing the noise, they turned from the kitchen.

"Mom, dad, I'm back. Smells great, is that beef bourguignon?" Phainon dropped the two large sacks.

"You went to deliver things to your uncle, so why did you bring back so much?" Mr. Hieronymus leaned down to untie the sacks. Inside were bundles of pure white wool, filling both bags to the brim.

"It’s sheep’s wool, high quality, too. This much must have cost a fortune!" he exclaimed.

"Uncle gave it to us. His wool trade is doing very well this season, so he gave us two bags to try." Phainon sat down next to his father, feeling the wool in the bag.

"Your father needs a new hat, I’ll sew one. But we can't possibly use two whole bags," Mrs. Audata said. As she spoke, all three of them suddenly looked toward the person sitting by the fire. Anaxa blinked, meeting their three gazes in turn.

"It seems you don't have enough winter gear, do you?" Mrs. Audata smiled.

"I have enough, auntie..." Anaxa scratched his head.

She looked down at Anaxa’s feet, which were clad in a certain someone’s yellow socks with purple polka dots. Anaxa felt his argument lose its footing...

"Besides socks, he needs wool boots, a hat, and gloves! He doesn't have any of those, mom," Phainon chimed in.

Mrs. Audata’s eyes flickered toward her son, who was being entirely too forward, and she let out a soft sigh. In that sigh, Phainon heard her earlier warning again: "Restrain yourself a little."

29.

After dinner, Phainon’s parents retired to their room early. Phainon helped them light the small stove in their room before returning to the living room. There were only two fireplaces in the house: the brick one built into the main house, and when they expanded by two rooms, a Pechka-style cast iron stove installed in the parents' bedroom. They had wanted to install one in Phainon’s room too, but Phainon had said it would be wasteful for just him, so he slept in the living room by the brick fireplace.

Usually, he would sleep on the sofa, but since Anaxa was there now, he pulled out a thick down-filled blanket to line the sofa, which could be folded over as a cover. Phainon spread a layer of clean, dry straw on the floor beside it, then laid a thin down mattress over that.

"Won't you be cold like that...?" Anaxa sat down next to Phainon on the floor, only stopping his questioning once he felt that it wasn't cold.

"Teacher, where is that bag I gave you earlier?" Phainon looked around.

Anaxa pulled the expensive-looking beige cloth bag from the pile of pillows. Under Phainon’s expectant gaze, he pulled the drawstring and took out an aluminum tube and a stick of...

"Chapstick...? And... moisturizer? These are... for me?" Anaxa narrowed his eyes to read the packaging.

"Your skin is all chapped. You can use this on your face and hands. Here..." Phainon unscrewed the silver tube and squeezed a bit of ivory-white cream onto the back of his hand.

Phainon set the tube down and used his fingertip to dab a bit of cream onto Anaxa’s two red, chapped cheeks. Anaxa winced slightly as the sting of the cracks met the liquid, but it soon felt soothing. The cream melted against the heat of his skin, turning transparent as a faint scent of jasmine drifted through the air. Anaxa squinted, noticing Phainon’s Adam’s apple shift slightly. After Phainon withdrew his hand, he reached for the lip balm and uncapped it.

"This-I’ll do myself..." Anaxa snatched the lip balm from Phainon’s hand, not letting him take any further liberties.

"Okay... you do it then. They’re chapped to the point of bleeding." Phainon’s fingertips were still slick from the cream; he rubbed his hands together. He looked down as Anaxa clumsily smeared a layer of balm over his lips, his cheeks still flushed red.

How strange... are they still chapped? The shopkeeper clearly said this would soothe it. Phainon thought naively that only chapping could make someone’s face turn that red...

Chapter Text

30.

On the final day of the year, the market session lasted from dawn until noon. Families in the village sell livestock, everything from chickens and cows to sheep and goats. It seemed everyone had been saving up for this very occasion. Phainon’s father returned from the market at the crack of dawn, snow still clinging to his hat as he rushed inside, praising the beef he’d managed to snag fresh, with a perfect balance of lean and fat, ideal for grilling. His mother was in the kitchen, helping her husband slice onions for the skewers.

Anaxa sat on a tiny wooden stool outside the kitchen door, peeling potatoes and carrots and dropping them into a basin of warm water. He looked out the door and saw Phainon shoveling snow in the yard to clear a spot for the fire. despite the heavy coat, Phainon’s sturdy physique was unmistakable. He seemed to radiate the natural fire of youth, a heat that others could feel just by looking at him. His hair, though white, stood out vividly against the snowy backdrop. The young teacher quickly withdrew his gaze, feeling his ears grow warm. He glanced at Snowy lying nearby and, with a slightly damp finger, playfully poked the dog’s nose. Snowy wrinkled his nose, looked at Anaxa, and tilted his head with two soft "woofs," as if asking what he needed.

Anaxa sighed.

Even the expressions... are so similar...

Since it was winter, darkness fell by six in the evening. The bonfire was lit, flickering in the backyard. Anaxa and the two adults sat around the fire warming their hands; a moment later, Phainon emerged carrying two large trays of skewers.

"You have to eat at least ten skewers to meet today’s quota, Anaxa," Phainon said, his eyes crinkling as he grinned while grilling the meat.

Fat dripped onto the embers with a sizzle, mingling with the aroma of onions and savory butter. Across the fire, the parents were discussing plans to visit relatives in the spring and prospects for the next harvest.

Plans for the future... are hard to talk about. The young teacher sank into thought, prodding the fire with a cast-iron poker while gnawing slowly on a skewer. What would he do after returning to the city? Anaxa was surprised to realize that while he’d had many plans before this sudden, long-term transfer, now, after living here for a year, he no longer craved the city as much as he had at the start.

Meanwhile, Phainon was already on his eighth skewer. He dropped an empty stick, picked up another, but this time used a small knife to slide all the meat onto a plate, which he pushed toward the teacher. As Anaxa looked down at the plate, a loose lock of hair slid over his shoulder and framed his face.

Phainon stopped chewing. His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed.

"Teacher, your hair came loose... can I pin it up for you...?"

Phainon watched intently. Beneath the curtain of hair, Anaxa’s eyes blinked a few times before he nodded.

Phainon stood and walked behind Anaxa. His hands rose and fell twice, he wiped them on his hem a few times before pulling a long silver hairpin from his inner pocket, adorned with red dried berries and delicate silver leaves. As he gathered the hair, Phainon’s slightly calloused fingertips brushed against the thin skin of Anaxa's nape, feeling the slight protrusion of the vertebrae.

So thin...

Although Anaxa had gained a few pounds over the past year, he was still underweight by any standard. At least he didn't fall ill as often as before. Phainon secured the bun and admired his handiwork. The red of the berries and the silver against the pale mint hair looked remarkably harmonious. He returned to his seat and saw Anaxa reach up to touch the pin.

"It suits you very well..." Phainon stammered, his vocabulary truly couldn't dredge up any better compliments.

"Thank you, Phainon..." Anaxa withdrew his hand and picked up his fork.

He might have been mistaken, but for a very brief, fleeting moment, Phainon thought he saw the corner of the teacher's mouth twitch upward, though it was quickly and deliberately suppressed. This moment didn't escape the eyes of the parents sitting opposite them. In those few seconds, Mrs. Audata went through three distinct emotions: first bewilderment, then realization, and finally... a long, knowing sigh.

*And here she thought her son was the only one with a one-sided crush.*

"Well, that works too..." she murmured under her breath, picking up another skewer.

"Huh? What did you say?" Mr. Hieronymus turned to her.

"Nothing. Oh, tomorrow, go to that store at end of the village and buy some fish oil and walnuts, uh, like nutritious thingies"

Mr. Hieronymus didn't quite understand, but he nodded anyway.

31.

Winter break ended just after the festival. On the first day of the new year, the snow hadn't fully melted, but it was warmer. Wagons carrying seeds for the upcoming season moved through the village. Everything seemed to be waking up from its winter slumber.

Anaxa narrowed his eyes, his vision felt slightly blurred. He rubbed his eyes several times, but it didn't clear.

How strange...

Anaxa stood waiting at the school gate, occasionally greeting students and parents, but he couldn't see them clearly, he could only offer general greetings or guess who they were by their voices. Beside him was a large portfolio with a handle that Ms. Pytthias had lent him to carry the students' winter break assignments home for grading.

"Teacher Anaxa!" Phainon rang his bicycle bell and waved. "Wow, that bag is huge. What’s in it?"

"Students' homework." Anaxa settled the bag in the front before climbing onto the back seat.

The early spring afternoon sun lingered longer than usual.

"Phainon, is there a place in the village that makes glasses?"

"Spectacles? No, only in town. If you need them, I can take you there tomorrow."

"Mm. I'll take half the day off tomorrow to go then. Sorry to bother you."

The next day, they reached the town around 1:30 PM. Phainon locked the bike to a post and entered the optician’s shop with Anaxa. In reality, it was a small clinic run by a retired doctor and his med-student son; they offered glasses as a side service, so there were only two types of frames: black plastic or silver metal.

"Sit down. What’s the trouble?" the old doctor looked up.

"I need glasses."

"Sit, then. We have to measure before we can cut."

Anaxa sat in the chair. The doctor put on a glove and held a small light.

"How long have you been nearsighted? Where are your old glasses?"

"It only started yesterday. Everything just went blurry."

The doctor frowned. He stood up, went to the eye chart, and pointed to a letter on the third row from the top.

"Read it."

"I can't see it clearly..." Anaxa squinted. Was it a 'c' or an 'o'? Maybe an 'a'...

"If it blurred so much in one day that you can't read the third row, it’s probably not nearsightedness, young man." The doctor returned to his seat and checked again with the light. "No scratches or signs of cataracts. No redness. It’s not from external trauma."

"Not trauma?" Anaxa frowned.

"We’d have to screen from the outside in. Could be the eyeball, the iris, or something internal related to the nerves. Hard to say, and I don't have the equipment here." He put the light away and wrote something down.

Anaxa took the paper, squinting to read the lines.

"Sudden vision loss is dangerous, even if it’s just blurring. This is a referral to the hospital I used to work at in the city. Go get a checkup just to be safe."

Anaxa thanked the old doctor and reached for his wallet.

"No need. The screening will be expensive; keep your money," the doctor chuckled, waving him off.

Anaxa walked out of the shop with the referral, his mind in a whirl.

"Teacher..." Phainon stood before him, scratching his head. "Erm... we... lost the bicycle."

Anaxa blinked, looking at the empty post behind Phainon.

"Oh..."

"Don't worry…we’ll go to my uncle’s house, borrow his bike to get home, and then bring the horse wagon back to return it to him!"

But when they reached the uncle’s house, they learned the bike had been sent to the city for his son who was at university.

By 5:30 PM, it was getting dark, and the long walk had made Phainon hungry. Normally, villagers would go to town in the morning for the market, but it was too late to find a wagon heading back.

Anaxa’s legs were aching. He sat on a bench by the river. In the distance, train smoke rose—another busy journey heading south.

"Mr. Anaxa, we probably won't be able to get back until tomorrow morning. I’ll go call home to let them know, then we’ll find some dinner, okay?" Phainon sat beside him, looking down at the water shimmering with the reflection of the streetlights.

"Yes, but can we sit for a moment? My legs are a bit tired," Anaxa sighed. In his eyes, the streetlights were nothing but blurred, elongated streaks of light.

32.

"Hey Cyrene, can you tell that to my parents for me. I'll catch a wagon back tomorrow morning. Thanks." Phainon hung up. Only a few houses in the village had landlines; there was one at the shrine for public use, so Phainon had called Cyrene to relay the message. He also warned Cyrene not to let his parents drive out to get them this late because the village roads had no lights and were dangerously uneven at night.

"Teacher, come on. I know a great steakhouse. My uncle's father-in-law owns it, they get fresh beef from our village every day." Phainon paid two cents at the phone booth and stepped out.

"Alright, let's go."

Anaxa’s blurred vision made navigating at night difficult. He could only rely on the streetlamps and the tall, white blur in front of him. Sensing the teacher's hesitant steps, Phainon slowed down to walk beside him and reached out to take his hand.

"There’s a slope and some steps ahead..." Phainon swallowed hard.

Anaxa didn't pull away, he simply nodded and followed Phainon’s lead. Phainon’s hand was large and slightly calloused, a single grasp enveloped four of Anaxa’s fingers, leaving only his thumb outside. The early spring wind was chilly, but that hand was hot—so hot Phainon felt like he was going to sweat. Don't... if my hands get sweaty now, it’ll be so embarrassing... Phainon thought.

The restaurant was a classic establishment, popular with tourists and locals alike for its quality. It was quite crowded. Phainon asked at the front desk if there was a table, the server said only the VIP private room was available.

"Oh, Phainon! What brings you to town? Go on, there’s a table on the second floor. Give him the private room," the owner called from the kitchen window, waving. He recognized Phainon instantly, that height and hair color were unmistakable.

"Hello, Sir! I'll head up then. Thank you very much!" Phainon waved back.

A server led them to the second floor. On the left, people were dining, while the right side consisted of sliding doors leading to private rooms. The server took their order and, upon leaving, pulled a fabric screen across to cover the transparent glass door.

33.

The food arrived ten minutes later: two steaks with salad, a side of baked potatoes, and a bottle of wine—a gift from the owner.

"The owner says the wine is a gift. He wishes you a pleasant date," the server said, pouring two glasses.

Phainon waved his hands awkwardly. "Oh, no, we’re n—"

"Please give the owner our thanks," Anaxa interrupted. Once the server left, he continued: "It’s already poured. It would be rude to refuse; we’ll just ask to pay for it later."

"Ah, right. You’re right," Phainon laughed sheepishly, though the thought of someone thinking they were on a date made him feel a secret spark of... happiness.

The meal ended near 8:00 PM. Anaxa’s tolerance was decent, so half a small bottle of wine only made his head a bit light but left him sober.

Outside, it was even more crowded as the final train of the day had arrived. When they reached a nearby hotel, the owner said only two rooms were left.

Thank goodness, two rooms. I thought...

A young girl, likely a student, entered the lobby with a large suitcase.

"Sir, any rooms left? Everywhere else is full..." She was perspiring after dragging her luggage around.

"Two left, but these two gentlemen are about to take them. Sorry, kid," the owner shook his head.

Without hesitation, Anaxa turned back to the desk.

"Just give us one room then. Two singles is fine."

"Both rooms only have one double bed."

Anaxa started to speak, but finally nodded and placed the deposit on the counter.

It’s not like we’ve never shared... a bed for a year. It’s too late to be shy now.

The girl thanked them profusely as she checked into the other room. Their room was on the third floor, with a window overlooking the river. There were two pillows on the bed and a heart-shaped rug at the foot. The only thing that bothered Anaxa was the lack of a long body pillow. He had forgotten how important that barrier was when he agreed to the room.

Since it was winter, they were wearing several layers, so their inner clothes were clean enough to sleep in. When Anaxa stepped out of the bathroom, Phainon was sitting on the bed, fussing over something. As Anaxa approached, he saw Phainon was lining his own pillows up down the middle of the bed.

"Then what are you going to sleep on, Phainon...?"

Phainon jumped. "Ah... I don't need a pillow, really. Without a barrier, I might toss and turn and wake you up."

Anaxa bit his lip, climbed onto his half of the bed, and pushed Phainon’s pillows back to their original spot.

"If you bump into me, you bump into me..." Anaxa grumbled as he lay down, turning his back to Phainon. "It's not like it hasn't happened before..."

"Huh? What did you say?" Phainon leaned toward the teacher, trying to see his expression, but Anaxa pulled the blanket over half his head.

"Nothing. Turn off the light."

"Okay... goodnight then, Anaxa." Phainon turned off the light and fumbled his way back to bed. Unfamiliar with the layout in the dark, he stubbed his toe on a chair leg with an "ouch!" before hopping back into bed. He massaged his toe until the pain subsided, then looked at the silhouette beside him. Without the long pillow, everything felt different. Lying on his side, Anaxa’s hair spilled over the pillow, exposing his nap where the spot the body pillow usually hid. Phainon’s hand shook, remembering the heat of that skin from earlier.

His greed urged him to slide his fingers into those locks, to press his palm against that slight bump of the spine... Phainon’s thoughts spiraled until he had to clutch his head, forcing himself to sleep. To let his brain continue this line of thought would be a crime!

34.

Phainon woke to a sound. The other side of the bed was empty. Out on the balcony, a small silhouette was silhouetted by the streetlights behind the curtain.

"Can't sleep?" Phainon stepped out. Anaxa was draped in his coat, looking down at the river.

Phainon started to say more but went quiet when he saw Anaxa’s face was wet, his long lashes clumped together.

Ah...he must had another nightmare.

Lately, the nightmares had become more frequent. They used to happen every few months, but this winter, it was every week, sometimes three times a week. Anaxa’s eyes were slightly puffy and bruised from broken sleep.

"Yeah, just getting some air. Did I wake you? Sorry," Anaxa said, his voice low.

"It’s okay. I just... had to go to the bathroom." Phainon sat on a chair. Between them was a small table with a glass ashtray.

They sat in silence. The town was quiet, the streetlights reflecting off the ripples in the river. Noticing the teacher's lips turning a pale purple from the cold, Phainon urged him inside.

"This is the coldest part of the day...please go inside. Even if you can't sleep, it's better than out here."

Anaxa gave a soft "mm" and returned to the room. Phainon followed, closing the balcony door and drawing the curtains tight. At 3:00 AM, the temperature hit its floor. The blanket was losing heat. Phainon slid into bed, seeing Anaxa still facing away, a gap between them letting the chill in. He bit his lip, then slid closer until his arm brushed Anaxa’s back.

"The blanket warms up faster this way..." Phainon explained hastily as Anaxa’s head turned slightly. He felt like a scoundrel using such a logical excuse to touch him.

A moment later, Anaxa rolled over to face Phainon. Beneath the covers, Anaxa wrapped both arms around Phainon’s arm, using it as a body pillow.

"You're right. It is warm..." Anaxa murmured.

Phainon didn't know what to do; he could only swallow hard. From this angle, he saw Anaxa’s damp lashes flutter, and then he was caught in Anaxa’s gaze.

"What’s wrong? Uncomfortable?" Anaxa blinked, starting to pull away.

Phainon panicked. He rolled onto his side, facing Anaxa, and used his other hand to gently push the teacher back.

"No... I'm fine. It’s not inconvenient." Phainon felt like a fuse had been lit in his head.

"Are you cold?" Anaxa asked.

"Y-yes... I'm a bit cold... this is warmer."

Anaxa looked up. The young man was staring at the headboard, seemingly afraid to look down.

"Well, if you say so, I suppose I have to help," Anaxa said, a hint of a smile in his voice.

Phainon heard the smile and realized Anaxa knew exactly what he was doing and was teasing him. But at least the teacher seemed more cheerful.

"You've been having a lot of nightmares lately..." Phainon said.

"The old accident. When the anniversary gets close, the memories come back." Anaxa didn't hide it this time.

"Was it... your family?"

"Yes. A car crash on a bridge. We fell into the river," Anaxa said matter-of-factly, devoid of raw emotion.

"The first time I asked, you didn't say that..."

"And?" Anaxa looked up into the deep blue eyes.

"I mean... it's because you trust me now, right?"

"I suppose so."

"Why?" Phainon asked curiously. He knew living together didn't automatically mean comfort. He wanted to know what he was doing right.

"Hm..." Anaxa pretended to think, then cleared his throat. "'Whether he likes me or not doesn't change the fact that I like him. So... it’s okay if he doesn't know. When it’s time for him to leave, I won't hold him back—'"

Phainon immediately clamped a hand over the teacher's mouth.

"You—you know..." Phainon’s face was as red as a burning coal.

"Your mother told me."

"M-my mom?? When..."

"New Year's Eve, while you were clearing the wood after the grill."

Phainon was silent, watching Anaxa's face for any sign of discomfort. Finding none, he ventured: "You don't mind...?"

"Your thoughts are very mature. Liking someone isn't like liking an object; you don't have to possess them. Not many people are that clear-headed," Anaxa laughed.

"Then... what about you? Toward me..." Phainon’s voice trailed off.

"What do you think? Do I look like the type to let someone I don't like hold me in a hotel bed like this?" Anaxa blinked.

Phainon’s face burned. They were only there out of necessity, but the way Anaxa said it made everything sound so... suggestive. The core of the message was "I like you enough to let you do this," but Phainon was stuck looping on "holding each other in a hotel."

"When... when do you plan to go back to the city for your checkup?" Phainon changed the subject.

"I'll probably go home, grab some clothes, and leave. The sooner I go, the sooner I return."

Home. Return. Anaxa realized how much he had come to rely on this place. It had been a long time since he felt he had a place to return to, someone waiting for him, and arms ready to shelter him when he wasn't strong enough. Winter was indeed cold, but it was also very warm, or perhaps, having been cold for so long, even a tiny spark was enough to satisfy him.

Chapter Text

35.

The morning mist had yet to fully dissolve, and rows of horse-drawn carts already trailed from the town road to the gates of the periodic market. By the time Phainon and Anaxa arrived, they saw Cyrene standing there, having just stepped down from a cart belonging to someone from their village.

“Cyrene!” Phainon called out, waving his hand. “Did you come all this way just to pick us?”

“As if! I just wanted a trip to town, thank you for giving me an excuse, though~” Cyrene waved back, then turned to Anaxa. “I heard you were going to town for a check-up, Teacher Anaxa. Are you feeling unwell somewhere?”

“Mm, my eyes aren't doing so great. I’m getting old,” Anaxa teased with a smile.

Phainon paused. Was he... joking? Should I laugh?

“It’s so early, you probably haven't eaten. Come on, let me take you to my favorite brunch spot! Old Man Galba won't finish his market rounds until nine.”

Phainon nodded, feeling a bit hungry himself. After all, it would be another two hours before the cart headed back to the village. Cyrene led the way, and they stopped at a breakfast stall to buy three large fruit waffles. Looking at the waffle in his hand, which was larger than his own face, the young teacher felt a bit overwhelmed. He glanced sideways and saw that Phainon had already polished off half of his, cheeks bulging. Sensing eyes on him, Phainon turned to look at him and swallowed hard.

“Teacher Anaxa, is it not good?” Phainon looked at the waffle in Anaxa's hand, which had only a few tiny bites missing.

Anaxa stared wide-eyed as Phainon finished the rest of his waffle in two more gulps. He reflexively tucked his own waffle into the youth's hand.

“It’s too much... I can’t finish it.”

“Oh,” Phainon uttered. It was true that Anaxa didn't usually eat this much. He looked down at the waffle, seeing the bite marks on the side, and suddenly his face felt hot.

This—this is... an indirect...

“Do you mind?” Anaxa asked.

The young man’s face flushed crimson. He shook his head violently and took several large bites, finishing more than half of it in seconds. As he was chewing, his hand was suddenly grasped, causing him to nearly choke. He coughed a few times and looked down to see Anaxa holding his hand, gently pulling him along.

“Come, I can’t read the coffee menu, you come read it for me.” Anaxa tightened his grip slightly. “What’s the matter?”

“Cough, cough—um, ah... I just took too big a bite... perfect timing, let's go get some drinks.” Phainon suppressed the surge of excitement in his heart.

“Eat slowly and chew well, don't rush,” Anaxa mumbled, still feeling a bit awkward giving voice to his concern. He cleared his throat and called out, “Cyrene, coffee is on me. We might as well sit and rest for a bit.”

“Sounds great!” Cyrene skipped happily into the shop.

However, the two of them were soon confounded by the menu written on the wall. They stared at it for a while, unsure how to order. The staff patiently offered suggestions. Eventually, Cyrene chose a honey black tea, while Phainon circled back to a seasonal fruit smoothie.

“An Americano for me, plus one shot.” Anaxa squinted as he fumbled with the bills in his wallet, placing the money on the counter.

“Sir, this is a forty-note, it’s not enough,” the staff member prompted softly.

“Ah... oh, I’m sorry. They’re the same color, I must have misread it.” Anaxa tugged at Phainon’s sleeve. “Help me find the hundred-note...”

Phainon nodded, pulling out a protruding hundred-note so Anaxa could take it. Phainon leaned his head down, their faces drawing close as they whispered. Cyrene and the staff member behind the counter both looked over, stifling smiles. When Anaxa placed the money back on the counter and Phainon looked up, he found them both... feigning a fit of coughing.

Black tea was sold in the village too, though it wasn't very popular as the locals preferred barley tea.

“These round jelly are delicious...” Cyrene’s legs swung happily under the table.

“Those are white boba,” Anaxa said, holding his coffee. Seeing them so happy made him feel relaxed. He thought of his students' winter break assignments that remained ungraded; since he was in town for the day, he decided he should buy some candy for the children later.

“Teacher Anaxa, what are you drinking? That ‘A-me...’ something, with a ‘shot’?” Phainon looked at Anaxa’s cup, the liquid was a dark, translucent brown.

“It’s just coffee and water. A ‘shot’ means an extra portion of coffee.”

“Is that very common? You didn't even read the menu before ordering.” Phainon chuckled.

Anaxa startled slightly, raising the cup to hide half of his face.

The grandfather clock in the shop struck eight-thirty. Cyrene urged everyone to get to the market to catch Old Man Galba’s cart back to the village. When they arrived, he had nearly finished packing up. Phainon ran over and hoisted several large sacks onto the cart, finishing in the blink of an eye.

“Oh, thank you, Phainon! This old body isn't as nimble as it used to be,” Galba laughed heartily. He was about to climb into the driver’s seat when Phainon nimbly blocked him, gently nudging the old man toward the back of the cart to sit.

“Let me drive, you’ve had a long day at the market.” Phainon turned toward the front and saw Anaxa had already climbed up on the front seat:

“I can’t drive a cart. You handle it, I sit here just for the…experience.”

Phainon froze for a second, then climbed up with the stiff, mechanical movements of a rusted robot.

“There’s... no backrest up here. It’ll be easy to fall when it gets bumpy, so sit tight.” Phainon took the reins.

Anaxa gave a soft “mm” and hooked his arm through Phainon’s. “As long as you sit steady, I won’t fall off.”

36.

“Dad, Mom, I’m back.” Phainon closed the door behind him and saw his parents sitting on the rug, knitting a large sweater. Snowy immediately bolted toward the door, lunging into Phainon’s arms.

“How on earth did you lose your bicycle, son...” Mrs. Audata laughed.

“Hello, Auntie, Uncle.” Anaxa changed into his slippers.

“Come in and get warm, my clumsy son has put you through a lot,” she said, waving them over.

Anaxa sat on the rug beside her, and Snowy scrambled over to lie pressed against his legs. Phainon went to the kitchen to put away the vegetables Galba had given them before wandering back out.

“Mom, I’m going to the city with teacher Anaxa tomorrow!” Phainon sprawled out on the rug next to Snowy.

“Why go there just to bother the teacher?”

Anaxa was about to say something, but sensing the mother and son were in the middle of a conversation, he decided to wait. He turned to his side, looking at the white cloud of fur beside him, and reached out to give it a few pets. Snowy’s fur seems shorter this time…?

“Mom, I’m not! We went to the doctor yesterday. Let me tell you, the letters on the wall were bigger than my face and he couldn't even see them. It’s not right to let him go alone in that state.” Phainon feigned a huff. “Look, he can’t even tell the difference between me and Snowy anymore.”

Anaxa froze, his hand coming to a dead stop. He shifted his hand forward a bit and felt a smooth surface, a human forehead. The young teacher’s hand recoiled instantly as if he’d been electrocuted.

He was mortified, the words dying in his throat. How embarrassing, to be openly stroking Phainon’s head like that in front of his parents... Mrs. Audata sighed and let out a light laugh, finally nodding her consent. She gave Phainon a long list of instructions before heading off to cook dinner.

“Phainon, go pack your things. If you wait until tomorrow morning, you’ll be in a rush,” Anaxa said, nudging Phainon with his elbow.

Phainon let out an “oh” and scrambled up from the rug, running clumsily into the bedroom.

“Dad, let me borrow your suitcase! I don’t have one!” Phainon poked his head out of the bedroom door.

“Just take a backpack, why do you need so much space...” Mr. Hieronymus was cleaning vegetables, but despite his words, he stood up and went into the master bedroom. He pulled out a leather suitcase that looked quite stylish.

“I bought this in town, use it carefully, don’t lose it.” He gave it a cursory dust-off. In reality, the brass lock was still gleaming from regular care.

It was only a four-day trip, but with one person packing and three people worrying, it felt as if they were sending their son off to join his bride’s family forever. Phainon kept asking whether he should bring this or that, then asking his parents if they had it. He even pulled out several outfits he believed were “super stylish” to show Anaxa. Looking at an ensemble of yellow on top and purple on the bottom, the young teacher didn't know how to comment.

“Um... it’s very ‘sweet potato.’ It feels very... rustic...” He scratched his head, looking through a few more options.

Fortunately, they eventually found enough clothes to ensure Phainon didn't take the sweet-potato fashion with him. Phainon carefully hung them on hooks, vigorously brushing off any of Snowy’s fur. This made Anaxa realize just how much he had changed over the past year.

Back in the city, he had used a lint roller every single day, because his clothes were mostly dark, every hair showed. He used to avoid the neighbors' pets, tip-toeing away if an animal approached. Now, a massive dog with long, white, shedding fur was resting on his lap, and he didn't mind at all.

37.

The train to the city took an entire day. They had bought sleeper tickets in a small cabin with two single bunks. In the morning, upon receiving the tickets, Anaxa immediately settled into his bunk to sleep out of habit. Long journeys were draining, and the train wasn't particularly smooth. He figured he should sleep whenever he felt the urge. The youth, however, was wide awake and full of energy. He explored every fixture in the cabin, walked through the carriages, and kept his eyes glued to the window as the scenery rushed by.

Four hours in, the train reached its first stop. After swapping passengers, it moved on. It was now past eleven in the morning, and Anaxa finally crawled out of bed to find Phainon sitting on the opposite bunk, staring at him.

“Huh...?” Anaxa blinked.

“Teacher... I’m a bit hungry... I didn't think it would take this long, so I didn't bring any boiled sweet potatoes or bread...” The corners of Phainon’s mouth drooped slightly.

Anaxa suddenly remembered that by this time, the boy would usually have eaten two meals. He had fallen asleep immediately and forgotten to tell Phainon that if he was hungry, he could go to the dining car. And yet, the boy hadn't woken him up, just sat there enduring the hunger like an abandoned puppy...

“Why didn't you wake me...” Anaxa combed through his hair and tied it back.

“You were sleeping so soundly, I didn't want to wake you.” Phainon slid to the edge of the bunk and slipped into the plastic slippers provided for the cabin.

“Come on, let’s go get some food...” Anaxa pulled open the door and stepped out, with Phainon trailing closely behind him through the narrow corridor.

The dining car was spacious and open. At the far end was a small counter, with tables and chairs for dining on either side, separated by screens. Anaxa stood before the counter, examining the menu. He turned to ask Phainon what he wanted, only to realize the boy was still standing behind him. With a sigh, Anaxa tugged his sleeve to bring him alongside and pointed to the menu.

“See what you’d like.”

Phainon studied the menu intently for a moment.

“This noodle—um, ‘bo-loong’... something. Anyway, this one.” Phainon pointed.

“Anything to drink?” Anaxa flipped to the beverage page.

“Just orange juice for me.”

Anaxa nodded and turned to the server.

“One pasta bolognese, one sandwich, and for drinks, orange juice and an Americano.” Anaxa opened his wallet; this time, instead of cash, he pulled out a card.

Phainon stared as Anaxa simply tapped the card. The machine let out a ‘beep-beep’ and spat out a slip of paper.

“Your receipt and table number, sir.” The staff member handed Anaxa the receipt and a metal table stand.

They chose an empty table with two chairs. Anaxa placed the stand on the ivory lace tablecloth and tucked the receipt into his pocket.

“Teacher, they have hot food on the train! And you didn't pay just now, but you still got it!” Phainon’s questions came one after another.

“Mm, it’s pre-prepared and just reheated. And I did pay; it’s just a... different kind of money.” Anaxa listened to every question without a hint of impatience.

He handed the card to Phainon to examine, explaining how it could be used for payment instead of cash. Just as Phainon let out an “oh!” of realization, the server brought the food. Anaxa tucked the card back into his wallet.

Since Phainon was starving, he finished his meal in a flash. Seeing a staff member passing by, Anaxa ordered another plate of pasta, but with a different flavor. When the server brought it out, Phainon looked surprised.

“This is...”

“It’s for you. You didn't eat anything all morning.” Anaxa pushed the plate across the table.

Though a bit embarrassed, he was indeed still hungry, so he picked up his fork and continued eating. There were charging ports and Wi-Fi on the train, so Anaxa spent a moment on his phone looking up some news.

“Teacher... while we’re back, can we... go visit your family for a bit?” Phainon asked, his voice low.

“What for? To meet the parents?” Anaxa chuckled softly, but nodded. “Sure.” Anaxa took a sip of his coffee. “And next time something comes up, just wake me up.”

Phainon had just taken two large bites, with bulging cheeks, he couldn't speak, so he just nodded vigorously.

“Your parents entrusted you to me. If something happens, I won’t know how to explain it to them.” Anaxa pulled out a napkin and offered it to Phainon, but the boy’s hands were occupied with his utensils.

The young teacher sighed, reaching across the table to dab away a smudge of sauce from the corner of Phainon’s mouth. He folded the napkin and wiped it once more.

“Eat slowly... people will think I’m starving you...” Anaxa let out a tiny laugh. It was very soft, but Phainon heard it clearly. His face turned bright red, and he nearly choked as he swallowed.

Clearly, the boy had chosen to go hungry himself, but for some reason, Anaxa felt a twinge of guilt, like raising a giant puppy that needed to be fed on a strict schedule. Once Phainon finished his second plate, he sat quietly and waited for the teacher to slowly finish his coffee before following him out.

38.

It was nine in the evening, with nearly eleven hours remaining before they reached the city. There were shower tickets for sale on the train, but it was usually crowded at this hour, so Anaxa had made sure to take Phainon to buy them and get washed up right after they ate. Bathing right after a meal wasn't ideal, but it was a matter of necessity.

Anaxa opened his browser to look up the hospital from his referral slip, only to find that tomorrow’s appointments were fully booked. He had to schedule it for the morning of the day after. Looking up, he caught a glimpse of Phainon’s gaze from the opposite bunk.

“Hm?”

“It’s nothing... just...” Phainon sat up straight, sliding to the edge of the bed.

“The other day... you said something like ‘I wouldn't let someone I don't like hug me like this.’ Does that mean you... kind of like me too?” Phainon hesitated. “In that case... um, can we consider ourselves... dating?”

Anaxa narrowed his eyes. In the darkness, he couldn't see Phainon’s expression clearly, but he could tell the boy was blushing deeply.

“Probably not,” Anaxa said.

The words caused Phainon’s heart to drop.

“Because you only asked if I liked you. You didn't ask if I wanted to date you. If you don't ask, how can I answer?” Anaxa laughed.

That laugh made Phainon’s face turn even redder. His tongue felt glued down, and his throat burned with a lump of nerves.

“Then—then... Teacher,” Phainon squeezed out each word. “Teacher Anaxa...”

“Yes.” Anaxa rested his chin on his hand.

“Would you... would you like to... d-date me?”

Phainon finished the sentence and swallowed so loudly he was sure Anaxa heard it. The sound of the train on the tracks didn't make the space silent, and there were people passing by outside, punctuated by the occasional blast of the train’s whistle.

Anaxa feigned a tilt of his head, thinking for a moment. Then, he sat up straight and placed his hands flat on the mattress on either side of him.

“Sure.”

Chapter Text

39.

The bangs were a bit long, dripping with water. The Oxford shoes were waterproof, but clothes and socks were soaked through, leaving two feet freezing. Anaxa watched the droplets from his hair fall onto the floor of the chaotic hospital corridor. Nurses and doctors were running past, and rescue workers pushed stretchers through the halls. The multi-vehicle pileup on the bridge had sent the hospital into a frenzy, every medical staff member was on the move, yet they were still shorthanded.

A nurse, rushing to deliver medication to several beds, suddenly spotted a small, drenched figure sitting on a long bench. He wasn't crying or making a scene, amidst the surrounding pandemonium, he sat as still as a wall.

"Hey there, little guy, are you hurting anywhere?" The nurse knelt to his eye level, reaching out to turn over his sleeves to check for an admission wristband.

Someone called her from a distance. She stood up hurriedly but managed to grab another doctor passing by.

"Hey, this kid doesn't have a wristband yet. Look him over, I have to go."

"When they pulled him out, someone else was shielding him, so there was no impact."

"Check him anyway," the nurse urged before running off.

The female doctor put on her stethoscope. The metal chest piece felt ice-cold against his wet shirt. Then she took out a small penlight, leaned in close to the boy’s face, and moved the light from side to side. His pupils followed the light without delay.

"Reactions are normal. Some minor surface wounds. If you're worried, we can do some scans to check for a concussion or internal injuries." The doctor tucked her light away, went to the desk to get a paper wristband, scribbled a few words, and secured it around his wrist.

"If you want scans, have your guardians come to the desk to do the paperwork." The doctor had too much to do, she only had time for that quick instruction before rushing to meet new stretchers being wheeled in.

The siren of an ambulance outside echoed and then faded, likely heading out to pick up more victims. Beside him, inside a still-damp bag, a ringtone sounded. Anaxa reached in and pulled out a water-submerged phone that, miraculously, still worked.

Sturdy thing, Anaxa thought, looking at the incoming call.

"Hello? Who is this?" the boy asked, pressing the phone to his ear.

"Are you holding your mom's phone? Anaxa, it’s time for your award ceremony! Why aren't you here yet? Are your parents about to drop you off?" The old teacher’s voice on the other end was scratchy through the wet speaker.

Anaxa looked toward the emergency room. He opened his mouth, then closed it, remaining silent for a long moment.

"Hello? Anaxa? Where are you? Why is it so noisy over there?"

"Professor, I'm at the hospital."

The old teacher paused, but hearing Anaxa's steady voice, he didn't realize how grave the situation was. On that end of the line, the MC’s voice boomed over the speakers, reading his name and calling him to the stage. The teacher gave him a few quick instructions, told him to text the name of the hospital, and was then hurried away by backstage staff. He hung up to accept the award on the boy’s behalf. After the dial tone droned for a moment, Anaxa slowly lowered the phone. With fingers wrinkled from the water, he typed out the message letter by letter and hit send.

The teacher immediately sent back a photo of the certificate and trophy he had just accepted, saying he would leave them at the school and head over right away.

Anaxa stared at the photo for a long time. The crystal trophy sparkled, shaped like a great tree, which is the symbol of the Science Institute. The certificate was in a gold-plated frame, with the name "Anaxagoras" embossed in shimmering gold in the center. Below it was a three-line project title and the words "FIRST PRIZE" in block letters, along with someone's signature and a red seal in the corner.

At fifteen, Anaxa had waited two years for this day. When he finished the project, everyone said it was a guaranteed first prize; his publications and peer reviews were all highly rated. But for some reason, looking at that glittering trophy and ostentatious certificate, Anaxa didn't feel happy.

If there were no award to win, we wouldn't have had to go. Then Mom and Dad wouldn't have been in an accident, right?

If I hadn't done it from the start…if I hadn't stubbornly pursued something my teachers said was too advanced for my age, would my sister still be taking me to the park like she does every weekend?

Anaxa thought.

Even though Anaxa clearly saw the large container truck, the bridge railing, and the rushing water. Even though he saw the things that crashed, shattered, and submerged them small people like crushed meat pies. In his young mind, there was a persistent feeling that the guilt was his alone.

The phone crackled a few times, the screen filled with vertical and horizontal stripes before turning pitch black.

Oh... it’s dead.

40.

Phainon wasn't used to sleeping on trains, but he was the easy-going type. Despite the slight swaying, he managed to sleep, though not deeply. Past two in the morning, as he rolled over to face outward, he blinked, seeing a blurred silhouette sitting up across from him. Phainon fought back his drowsiness and scrambled up.

"Teacher Anaxa? You can't sleep? Is it a nightmare again...?" Phainon didn't bother with his slippers, he stepped across to the opposite bed and sat on the edge.

Anaxa wanted to say "I'm fine" out of habit, but when he opened his mouth, he could only gasp for air. His throat felt as narrow as a straw. He was inhaling deeply, yet the sensation of suffocation overwhelmed him.

This is just an illusion, it’s just in my head, there is no actual breathing problem... Anaxa repeated this in his mind to steady himself. This was what the doctors had told him, a psychological aftereffect. He just needed to calm down... calm down.

His vision seemed even blurrier than before, but he could still see that tall figure approaching, his light coloured hair reflecting a bit of light from the window. A hand took his wrist and pressed a cup of water into it. The glass was cool. He couldn't hold it steady, and as it shook, that hand pressed down over his, keeping the water from splashing out. Because of this, he managed to drink half the cup. His throat, dry from mouth-breathing, was soothed by the water, and the feeling of breathlessness gradually subsided.

He whispered a raspy "thank you." His head stayed bowed, his hair falling forward and obscuring his view. Anaxa raised his gaze slightly, seeing his bangs clumped together from cold sweat. He grimaced as if a painful thought had returned. His eyes shut tight, his brows furrowed, and he bit his lip to hold back the lump rising in his throat.

A warm scent, it was the smell of sun-dried fabric, filled his airway, pushing down the stagnant feeling. It was warm all around him, two arms wrapped around his sides and met at the small of his back, the palms pressing through the fabric of his shirt. Those hands pulled him in gently, half-embracing, half-hesitant. Anaxa blinked and turned his head slightly, his face brushed against a somewhat rough fabric and a slightly bumpy wooden button. He shifted closer, resting his head fully against Phainon, closing his eyes. With every breath, he took in the scent of sun-baked cloth.

Feeling the slight weight against his chest of Anaxa taking the initiative to lean in. Phainon felt less shy. He pulled him closer, one hand moving gently to stroke Anaxa's back. The hand was rough and calloused, but he could still feel the vertebrae of Anaxa's back, which lacked enough cushioning and protruded clearly.

There were several hours left, but Phainon didn't return to his own bed. The two adults lay together on the single bunk of the small train compartment. One large frame, one smaller, limbs tangled. It didn't feel crowded, but somehow…harmonious.

41.

Morning broke four hours later, with three and a half hours remaining until the final stop. The train was stopped at a mid-way station in a small, bustling city. Passengers boarding and disembarking noisily, their footsteps echoing in the corridor, woke the teacher.

He looked up to see Phainon still asleep. His vision was no longer clear, it seemed a bit blurrier than the day before yesterday. But at this... close range, he could still see. A high, bony bridge of the nose, thin lips, closed eyes with long lashes that fluttered before blinking open. Phainon looked down at the person in his arms, his chest warm. His hand behind Anaxa’s back moved slightly but didn't let go.

"You're awake," Anaxa said, his voice soft due to their proximity.

Phainon regretted waking up so early. If he had slept a bit longer, could he have held him for a little while more?

"Not awake yet..." Phainon mumbles.

"Usually by this time, you're complaining about being hungry," Anaxa smiled slightly.

"Got woken up last night... suddenly feeling more sleepy..." Phainon stubbornly kept his eyes closed.

Seeing Phainon like this, Anaxa didn't urge him further. They still had a few hours to go.

"Then go back to sleep," he said, "just a little longer."

During that "little longer," Phainon couldn't actually fall back asleep. With his eyes closed, his other senses were heightened. His hand on Anaxa's back could feel the soft fabric of the dress shirt, free of any pilling. Was the skin beneath this fabric... just as soft? Phainon was startled by his own intrusive thought. Even though they had confirmed their relationship, he couldn't possibly be wanting that...already.

"What are you thinking about?" Anaxa asked, his voice tinged with amusement. "What were you dreaming about to make your face so red, hm?"

Unable to play possum any longer, Phainon surrendered and opened his eyes, his ears and face hot at being caught.

"Nothing... erm... I'm hungry... I'm getting up now." Phainon scrambled up, stretching his limbs after staying in one position for so long on the narrow bed.

Breakfast on the train only consisted of two options: toast with eggs and bacon, or bread with pumpkin soup, usually for families with children. Since it was a late breakfast and only an hour from the station, Phainon ate a portion of the egg and bacon toast, while Anaxa ordered the pumpkin soup. Anaxa only drank the soup and didn't touch the bread, so naturally, that extra bread slid right down into the stomach of the sturdy country lad who could probably eat two whole chickens at once.

Anaxa finished first, propping his chin on his hand as he watched Phainon. Seeing those cheeks puffed out as he ate, Anaxa suddenly had an idea for their next few days in the city.

With this appetite, if I take him to a buffet, I won't have to worry about not getting my money's worth..., Anaxa thought.

Chapter Text

42.

By the time the train pulled into the station, it was already ten in the morning. Phainon quickly stacked Anaxa’s bag on top of his own suitcase to wheel them along. His other hand was... held by Anaxa. Teacher said the station was crowded and he was afraid Phainon might get lost. The oversized puppy followed along gleefully, beaming and huffing with excitement, finding everything he saw fascinating. It turned out Anaxa’s concern wasn't entirely unfounded. Just look at that bewildered face gazing around, Phainon would probably help someone tie the knots if they tried to kidnap him.

Since the medical appointment wasn't until tomorrow, they had lunch at a shop on the first floor before heading to the apartment directly above to rest. According to the plan, they would head to the outskirts in the afternoon to visit his family.

The two took a taxi to the edge of the city, to a large cemetery with rows of graves perfectly aligned. A caretaker nearby was raking fallen leaves into a bin, pushing it aside to make way for them. Anaxa took the opportunity to borrow a short-handled duster from her.

He led Phainon to a corner where three graves shared the same surname beneath a large oak tree. The young teacher knelt down, using the brush to sweep away the fallen leaves from the three headstones. They were worn at the corners but free of moss, clearly well-tended.

“Dad, Mom, Sis, it’s been a while,” Anaxa greeted them, pulling Phainon’s sleeve to bring him closer. Phainon also offered his greetings, calling them "Uncle, Aunt," and "Big Sister."

“I’ve come to visit you today, and I brought Phainon... um... my boyfriend. He’s the one who has looked after me for over a year now. He is very kind, and his parents are wonderful too. I don’t get sick as often anymore, I stayed healthy through the winter, and even my skin didn't crack. Life is very stable,” Anaxa paused for a moment as the wind rustled the leaves above and the dry foliage on the ground crunched softly. “So, you all don't need to worry about me.”

Hearing the words "my boyfriend" made Phainon’s heart race as if he had just run ten marathons. Even when Teacher had said "yes" to his proposal to date, it hadn't felt as real as it did now. This must be that feeling people talk about... meeting the family.

“Um... Uncle, Aunt... Sister, I—I will try my best to take good care of your precious Anaxa. Please rest assure leaving him for me...”

Seeing the young man stutter like that made Anaxa feel a bit amused.

Suddenly, he grabbed Phainon's hand and ran. They reached the gate just as a taxi was dropping off another passenger. Anaxa rushed forward, pulling Phainon into the car with him.

“To the Research Institute in the city center.”

The taxi rolled back into the city as the sun began to dip at five-thirty in the evening.

43.

Upon arriving at the campus, Anaxa went straight to the faculty building. The research institute was affiliated with a university that only accepted students with scientific research awards or equivalent achievements. He took the elevator to the top floor. Inside the room for teaching assistants and interns, he walked over to a desk in the corner by the window. It was a beautiful spot. He opened the drawer to retrieve an ID badge attached to a cream-colored lanyard with a sparkling beaded charm.

Phainon noticed a coffee cup on the desk, along with a mirror and a shelf holding sunscreen and a few cosmetic bottles. It clearly belonged to someone else, likely a female intern.

After securing the badge, Anaxa pulled Phainon back downstairs and turned toward another building. A metal sign on the door read "Library." Anyone could enter the lobby, but there was a glass partition that required a card swipe to access the stacks. Anaxa used that card to swipe them in.

Phainon followed behind, staring around in a daze. Everything was new, and everything looked expensive. It wasn't until they reached the second floor that Anaxa let go of Phainon’s hand.

“Go on, see what books you want to borrow and bring them here,” Anaxa said before disappearing behind the towering, long rows of bookshelves. One had to use the rolling ladders attached to the walls to reach the top rows.

Phainon wandered around until he found a library map. He studied it for a moment and noticed three rows labeled C13 to C15: "Master’s Theses."

“Fellow student, are you new here? Looking for something? Want some help?” A clear voice spoke up beside him. A female student holding a laptop and books looked up at Phainon with a bright smile.

“Ah... um, where are these three rows located?” Phainon stammered, pointing at the map.

“This way, come on, I’ll help you find them.” The student turned and led him through the library. She pointed to the labels on the shelves.

“Here, shelf C13. These two on the right are 14 and 15. Are you looking for a specific topic or a certain professor?” she asked.

“Ah, um... Teacher Anaxagoras’s work,” Phainon said, scratching his head.

Even though he didn't want to bother a stranger, the place was so vast and the shelves so large that if he searched on his own, he wouldn't find anything until the day after tomorrow.

“Oh, him? Then look by author name, the 'A' section is over here.” She pointed to a section at the far left end. “Here, this entire shelf... and the one below it, are all with professor as the primary author. Only the first volume is his master’s thesis; the rest are other published research papers. Because he has so many, the school grouped them all here to make them easier to find.”

Phainon tilted his head to read the spines, noting that a normal shelf held fifteen volumes. Two and a half shelves meant about thirty-odd books, with three more scattered into the next section. Most listed Anaxa as the sole author, though some featured two other names repeatedly—likely his regular team members.

“Oh, this one was edited by Hyacinthia, his assistant. The wording is much easier to understand. A newcomer should probably read the ones she edited; the ones he wrote himself in the beginning without her can be quite dense. You might only understand three parts out of ten...”

“Oh, I see. Thank you for the suggestion.” Phainon bowed his thanks and returned to scanning the spines to decide which to take.

The girl remained standing there, seemingly wanting to say more.

“Ah, so... what’s your name? I haven’t seen you around before.”

“Ah... I’m Phainon. I’m actually not a student here,” Phainon admitted honestly.

“Oh, a student from another school?” She didn't seem surprised, as outside students could purchase paid memberships to use the library.

“Do you want to... add? Um... I come here often and know my way around. You can message me whenever you visit,” the girl said softly, appearing a bit shy.

“Add... add what...?” Phainon blinked.

“To 'friend' me...” She took out her phone. “What social media do you use?”

“I... don't use any...” He scratched his head.

“Ah, understandable. How about your phone number then?” She opened her dialer and held the phone toward Phainon, waiting for him to type.

“I... I don't have a phone either,” Phainon replied truthfully.

The female student paused, pulling her phone back. Her expression shifted.

“Look, if you aren't interested in getting to know someone, you can just say so. There's no need to make up excuses like that.” She said nothing more, tucked her phone away, and walked off with her books. Phainon was left confused, feeling that he had somehow offended her, though he didn't know why.

Phainon selected three books, all quite thick. When he returned to the earlier spot, he saw Anaxa standing by a table with a stack of seven hefty volumes. He seemed to be waiting.

“Let’s go to the next room to handle the borrowing checkout.” Anaxa went to pick up his stack, but Phainon hurried ahead and scooped them all up at once, the pile reaching his neck.

As they walked down the hallway, Phainon noticed many students turning to look at them. First, they stared at Phainon from a distance because of his striking height, but as they drew closer, they would startle and greet ‘professor Anaxa’

“I’d like to check these out.” Anaxa pointed to the stack Phainon had set down. “Use this card.” He produced the badge with the sparkling charm.

“But this card belongs to Miss—”

“Yes, use it.” Anaxa interrupted the clerk.

The head librarian nearby looked at Anaxa, then at the name scanned from the card, and seemed to realize something. She nodded to the assistant to proceed with the transaction.

It wasn't until they were outside that Phainon dared to ask his question. Phainon carried the young teacher’s stack while Anaxa carried Phainon's few selected books, which were lighter. Anaxa had noticed Phainon picked the ones he had written.

“Was that... not your card? Is it okay to do that?” Phainon asked

“No, it’s someone else’s. According to the rules, it’s not allowed.” Anaxa shrugged.

“But I saw the librarian tell them to do it anyway. Are you and the card owner friends?”

“Acquaintances.” After saying that, Anaxa casually tossed the card into a trash bin outside the library. The charm clinked against the metal.

Phainon: “...”

He was about to ask if it was a close research partner. Phainon wisely stayed silent, realizing that "acquaintance" didn't mean what he thought it did. Seeing Phainon's stunned look, Anaxa explained a bit more.

“It belongs to the Director’s granddaughter,” Anaxa said, holding up one of Phainon’s borrowed books. “When you were at my section, did you count them?”

“I did! Thirty-two volumes. You’ve written so much!” Phainon exclaimed.

“It should have been forty-five,” Anaxa said, looking down at his own master’s thesis.

“Maybe other students borrowed them?” Phainon suggested.

“Thirty-two... so maybe two are checked out, as there are thirty-four listed under my name in the main catalog. As for the other eleven...” He paused.

“When I first started advising students and opening research groups, the Director kept forcing his granddaughter into my team. Then, he used his influence to put her name at the top of the list, making her the primary author. It made the entire group’s hard work, including the other students', look like the work of one person. That’s how she got enough published papers to be hired as a teaching assistant right after graduation.” Anaxa told the story in a calm, flat voice.

“Didn’t you report this? Like, file a complaint?” Phainon stopped, not realizing the situation was that serious.

“I did. And then I was transferred to work at Aedes Elysiae for two years. A 'Practical Science Curriculum for Rural Areas' where I was the only person named.” Anaxa smiled.

Phainon fell silent. Back in his village, there had been a case of someone using their position to embezzle money from the villagers' exports, but that person was eventually isolated and forced to move away. He understood, but only partially, because in the city, things didn't seem as simple as weighing rice for sale.

44.

The two took a bus home since Anaxa was familiar with the routes. After dropping the books at the apartment, Anaxa took Phainon out for dinner in a nearby neighborhood.

The shops were brilliantly lit with flashing neon colors. Anaxa asked what he wanted to eat, but Phainon had no idea and replied, “Anything is fine.”

He led him into a shop on the right. Inside, there was a track carrying plates of food that moved continuously past the tables. Diners would pick a plate and drop the contents into a pot of broth in front of them.

“If you don’t know what you want, eat at a buffet. It has everything, and you can eat as much as you like.” Anaxa pulled him to a table.

“What do you mean 'as much as I like'?” Phainon blinked, watching the plates glide by.

“It means you pay one price regardless of how much you eat. You don't pay per dish. So, feel free.”

“Oh...” Phainon looked at the neighboring table eating, then at his own. It seemed they were missing that big pot of broth.

“Do you like spicy?” Anaxa asked, holding a tablet.

“A little bit of spice makes it tastier.” Phainon nodded.

Anaxa turned the screen toward Phainon. On the display were two lines: "Yuan-yang Hotpot" and "01 Peach Soju."

“See what you want to drink. Just tap it.”

Once Phainon finished choosing, he handed it back to the nearby server.

“A buffet for two, Yuan-yang pot, one soju, and one fresh lemonade. Is that correct?” the server confirmed.

“Yes, thank you.” Anaxa nodded.

A moment later, the server returned with a cart, bringing a two-compartment pot and their drinks. Anaxa twisted the cap off the glass bottle and poured it over half a glass of ice while the server adjusted the controls on the table to start the burner.

“Are you drinking...?” Phainon looked worried.

“Yes, to help me sleep. Want some?” Anaxa looked up.

“No, thank you.” Phainon shook his head.

He watched wide-eyed as the young teacher drained the first half-glass before even eating. When Anaxa went to pour more, he caught himself.

“Ah... right. This is your first time eating like this.” Anaxa remembered he needed to show Phainon the way.

He plucked a plate of meat from the conveyor belt, opened the lid, and emptied it into the pot. He added a few more plates, then stacked the empty plates and lids into two neat piles.

“Take whatever you want to eat and leave the plates like this. There are two sides: the white is mushroom broth, the red is spicy. Drop your food into whichever you prefer, and once it’s cooked, it’s ready.” He handed two spoons to Phainon, one regular and one slotted for straining.

Phainon nodded and tried to grab a plate. But the belt was a bit fast, and he accidentally snagged the neighboring plate, causing both to tumble toward the pot. Anaxa had to use his chopsticks and spoon to fish a stainless steel lid out of the boiling broth.

“When you take one, pull it toward you. Don't lift it straight up first, or you'll catch the lids of the others.”

Anaxa didn't seem annoyed, he simply took another sip of his drink. Every so often, he would pick some food from the pot. Phainon, slightly impatient, kept ladling meat and mushrooms into Anaxa’s bowl whenever he saw it was empty. He only stopped when Anaxa said he couldn't eat another bite. Phainon ate quite a lot, since each plate held a small portion and his appetite was legendary, his stack of plates soon towered over Anaxa’s head. Even with the staff clearing them regularly, the "skyscrapers" would reappear in the blink of an eye. Every time Phainon ate, he’d drop seven plates in at once, two bowls later, that was fourteen plates.

Seeing Phainon eating so happily, Anaxa occasionally picked out a few more bites himself. By the time they were walking home, they both felt quite full and had to stop at a pharmacy for two small bottles of digestive enzymes.

“Drink this.” He twisted open the small plastic cap and handed it to him.

Phainon nodded and, without asking what it was, downed it in one go.

45.

Anaxa had used dust covers for the furniture and since he had only been away for six months, it wasn't too dusty, though the floor needed a quick vacuum. However, it was late; vacuuming now would be noisy and might annoy the neighbors.

“Take a shower and go to bed early. We have to be up early tomorrow.”

Phainon, who was examining some photo frames on the bookshelf, turned and nodded. After his shower, he came out to find Anaxa watching TV. Seeing him, Anaxa grabbed his towel and headed in. When he emerged, he was wearing matching long-sleeved pajamas and carrying a blanket.

“Do you need a thicker blanket? I can get another one.” Anaxa dropped the blanket onto the sofa.

“If you feel cold, then get one. This is enough for me,” Phainon replied.

“You’re the one using it, not me. Why are you asking me?” Anaxa frowned slightly.

“I’m sleeping here...” Phainon pointed to the dark blue sofa. “...alone?”

Anaxa gave a soft “yeah,” his voice rising slightly at the end as if he didn't quite follow.

“Are you mad at me?” The young man’s mouth turned down as if he were about to pout.

“No...?” Anaxa was even more confused, blinking, wondering how the conversation had taken this turn.

“Then why are you making me sleep alone...? Don’t we usually sleep together...?” Phainon said it with total nonchalance.

The young teacher nearly choked on his own saliva. The phrase "sleep together" was literal in this context, but anyone else hearing it would certainly misunderstand. It made him sound like some villain who had seduced a simple country boy only to abandoned him after.

“You thought I was making you sleep separately because I was angry?” Anaxa coughed, clutched his chest.

“Was it not that...?” Phainon scooped up the blanket from the sofa. “If you aren't mad, let me sleep with you...”

“Wait...!” Anaxa stood in the hallway leading to the bedroom. “Back at your house, it was because there was nowhere else to lie down. The situation... is not the same!”

“How is it not the same? You already told your parents I’m your boyfriend, yet now you want to leave me out here. It’s so cold...”

“There’s a two-way air conditioner out here, it has a heater...”

“That... is not the same.” Phainon repeated Anaxa’s earlier words.

Anaxa wanted to ask the same question Phainon just had—“How is it not the same?”—but he ultimately didn't. He let Phainon trail behind him into the bedroom. Before bed, he changed the pillowcases and sheets to ensure they were fresh.

Only when he had climbed into bed and turned off the nightlight did Phainon shuffle closer. With practiced ease, his arms slid under the covers to pull Anaxa into a firm embrace.

“Do you know why it isn't the same?” Phainon whispered.

“Huh...?” Anaxa hadn't had time to react.

“The heater is warm, it’s true...” Phainon murmured, tightening his grip slightly as if to emphasize his point. “But you are much warmer.”

Anaxa was stunned. Only now did he realize that back in the living room, Phainon had understood him perfectly. He had feigned a misunderstanding to make Anaxa feel guilty just to get his way.

He’s been fooled by that wet puppy pouting face.

Anaxa sighed, but he didn't move to escape the embrace. He softly muttered two words to himself.

“You rogue...”