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As he cleans the dishes, Genos’ eyes are drawn to the movement of his hands. He’s careful to grip the plates gently to prevent them from cracking, to scrub lightly but firmly. He watches the suds drip down his joints. He knows there are no exposed wires in his hands there so there’s no danger of them short-circuiting but he has to refrain from plunging his hands into the sink anyway.
Instead he focuses on the way the knuckles bend, the rotation of the thumb and the joints. Just like a human, he thinks. Years ago that thought would have made him want to put his fist through a wall, but now it just draws up an old ache that lingers at the back of his eyes. Just like a human.
It’s the similarity that rakes his nerves, the kind where he feels grainy and restless.
“How much longer are you going to do this?” Doctor Kuseno’s voice is tired. He wasn’t exactly young when Genos first met him and he’s only gotten older since.
Genos jerks his head up from where he lies on the examining table, before he realises Dr Kuseno does not mean their shared mission. He’s studying Genos’ battle footage on the big screen. Genos automatically records every fight for further study and analysis, to correct his weaknesses and improve his strengths. He watches the enemies throw themselves at him and he…
He throws himself right back at them.
Dr Kuseno pauses the footage and turns towards him, frowning.
Genos opens his mouth to say, “Until I defeat the Mad Cyborg” and “I was careless, it won’t happen again.” But Dr Kuseno’s eyes bore into his skull, they are the eyes of a man who has seen much bloodshed and has had to claim responsibility for lives he did not personally take but bears the guilt for all the same.
Genos cannot fool those eyes that watched him breath his last again and again. So Genos just shrugs and says, “It never ends, so neither will I. Because if I stop I will sink, or worse, I will end up like that man.”
Dr Kuseno doesn’t reply, merely deletes the battle footage. Genos does not need to review it anyway, he can still hear the screams, his included, ringing in his ears.
As long as there is evil in people’s hearts, as long as there is a dark to play counterpart to the light, the monsters keep coming. The heroes, Genos believes, are those who have turned their darkness into light, who have not removed this energy but rather transformed it into something else.
But like dry land is to the oceans, heroes are the exception from the mounting waves of darkness and Genos, neither human nor monster, toes the line where the sand means the sea, the waves licking at his heels. As he charges up his canons and aims it at the approaching monster, he imagines it is himself he is aiming at and digs his heels into the ground. In his mind, he watches a tidal wave of darkness rise high above him, casting a long shadow over him.
The wall of darkness is made up of writhing creatures, their arms reaching for him and he tries to take a back off but there is no retreat. He fires his canon into the waves and they explode only to reform, squashing whatever tiny hope he had. As he is swallowed by the sea, he realises, there is no dry land.
He cannot stop moving, cannot stop fighting, if he stops, he will drown. He knows this.
And as he fights he sees glimpses of a bald man wearing a cape, standing on the other side of this sea of darkness. He would recognise his teacher anywhere. Saitama’s posture is loose, his expression vacant. “Sensei!” He splutters, his mouth filling with dark liquid, “Saitama-sensei!”
The figure of Saitama begins to turn, to face him, but the darkness is closing over Genos despite how hard he is fighting. The darkness turns on Saitama too, it rises above him but it cannot touch him. He is unaffected.
And it is this unaffected look that haunts Genos long after he startles awake in their tiny shared flat, burning with some unnamed emotion.
Another day, another monster, another battle to fight. Genos fights because he cannot float and he refuses to sink, metal man that he is, it would be all too easy to sink.
Genos needs to keep moving, to keep fighting, to keep throwing his punches and flinging his kicks. He needs to keep afloat but he does not know where to go from there. He cannot return to the shore he came from and he does not know what lies on the other side. Saitama is there, yes, but Saitama is also…not there.
He is treading water in the deep end and he is getting tired.
A lapse in concentration costs him an arm and his rage costs him a leg. He cannot win and prepares to burn because he refuses to drown. The monster has claws and a malicious grin, the monster is attacking and then, the monster is no more.
The last thing Genos sees is Saitama fading from view.
It is, ironically, also the first thing Genos sees when he wakes in Dr Kuseno’s lab. The familiar hum of machinery and chemical smell do nothing to mask the presence of Saitama, milling about awkwardly. He moves towards Genos when he realises he is awake.
“Sensei,” Genos croaks. “Did you save me?”
Saitama shrugs, “You gotta be more careful, dude.”
Genos frowns, dissatisfied, “Thank you, sensei!”
“Yeah, no problem.”
Saitama’s eyes are outlined with dark rings; he looks pale and very much affected. There is a mounting feeling within Genos’ chest. He bites the inside of his cheek, his one good hand clenching into a fist. How selfish he has been, that he would leave this man, his benefactor, to suffer alone!
But there is something he can do, if not for the world slowly being swallowed by darkness, or himself, battling against the fray, then this man. He can do something for this man.
Saitama turns to leave but Genos uses his one good arm to struggles to an upright position on the table. He grabs Saitama’s hand, the cheap material of his glove creaks. “Wait for me!” Genos exclaims, tightening his grip. “I'm coming for you!”
For one terrifying brief moment, Saitama looks unaffected, but his features smoothen out into a bemused but fond expression, as if to say, ‘but you're already right here.’
Saitama looks like he will disappear at any moment and be swallowed by the waves Genos is fighting against, despite having surpassed it all and reached the other side. He wants to hold him, but he can barely move.
Although Genos knows he would have many chances after, he could not think straight and grit his teeth against the tears that threatened to spill from his eyes.
But Saitama says, "I’ll be waiting. So come home soon, okay?"