Work Text:
Blitz was bouncing around, trying not to rush Stolas. Stolas, on the other hand, was quite calmly fixing his feathers and straightening the creases in his dress shirt. Blitz had insisted they dress up. He went with a pair of simple black slacks and a gray dress shirt, while Blitz had donned a red jacket that Stolas had never seen before. He looked at Blitz, who was nervously passing around the couch.
“Darling. I don’t understand what the rush is.” Stolas stated with a smile. It was endearing to see Blitz so enthusiastic.
“We need to get there before all the good stuff is gone.” Blitz practically whined.
Stolas gave him a perplexed look. “Darling, it doesn’t even start for another hour. And pardon me for saying this, but it is a police auction. Will there really be any ‘good stuff’ there?” He asked using air quotes.
Blitz stopped dead in his tracks. “Will there be any- What do you mean, will there be any good stuff there? Of course, there will. This is stuff confiscated from criminals. They always have the best shit. And we can bid on it and get the stuff for practically nothing. I mean, how do you think I got the van?” Blitz was simply flabbergasted that Stolas didn’t understand.
Stolas was not going to mention that he did not really believe that the van could be considered the best. He knew Blitz well enough to know that he loved his van and was very proud to own it. It bothered Stolas to realize the van had belonged to criminals before. He imagined it had been used to haul contraband or illegal drugs. He was most certainly not going to ask.
Blitz eagerly rushed Stolas out the door once he was finally done primping. He practically pushed him into the van before jumping in and revving the engine. He took off in the direction of the police auction as though his life depended on it.
“Darling?” Stolas began torn between concern for the poor driving and amused by the desperation on Blitz’s face. He did look cute like that. There was something about that look. “May I ask, why are we using the van and not simply portaling to the action? I mean, it seems time is something you are concerned about. Portaling would be much faster.”
Blitz shrugged, never taking his eyes off the road. “Yeah, but what if we find something great that needs to be transported by the van? Like something heavy or something like that?”
Stolas did not mention that a heavy item could probably be portaled more easily than transported in the van. Especially because they would still need to move it into the van and out again. The same as if they had portaled. The portal would probably have been easier, actually, as they would not have to lift anything up.
He felt this was not a point necessary to make at this moment and time. He doubted if Blitz would be able to process any of it anyway. He was extremely focused and determined. Something else that Stolas had learned since moving in with the imp was that once he got an idea in his head, it was very difficult to persuade him otherwise.
So instead, Stolas sat in silence, watching the hellish landscape that streaked by. He wondered what kind of things would be found at this auction. He tried not to think too hard about what kind of actions would lead to items being confiscated by the police. Dealing in human contraband, which would never be resold, and mafia-related crimes were the only things he could think of. And if he was honest, he was not really sure what the mafia did. He should perhaps ask Blitz to explain this to him sometime. He could ask Moxxie as well, as it was his understanding that Moxxie grew up in a mafia family. However, he also knew that Moxxie had cut all ties to his family. It was probably best not to ask him.
Blitz skidded into the parking lot and practically jumped out of the van before it had even come to a complete stop. Stolas, on the other hand, exited slowly. He was almost afraid his legs would give out. Blitz always liked to drive fast. Stolas had gotten used to that. However, today's trip put all other trips to shame.
Stolas mindlessly followed Blitz, who examined every item as they went by. Clothing, jewelry, electronics, furniture. All on display so people could look and decide what they might want to bid on.
They stopped at a couch. Stolas eyed it longingly. It was bigger than the current couch. Easily big enough for two demons to lie on. It also had no cuts or tears and looked incredibly soft. Stolas imagined it would look quite nice in the apartment.
Blitz noticed Stolas checking out the couch. He read the description. “Hey,” he said, getting Stolas’ attention. “This thing pulls out to a bed. What do you think? Should we bid on it?”
Stolas tried to hide his enthusiasm for the idea. “Perhaps we could, yes.” He tried very hard to sound nonchalant, but Blitz heard the underlying desire to own the couch.
Blitz wrote down the information before moving on. They turned into another section of the auction. This was where all the vehicles were being displayed. The pair walked up the aisle, not really looking too closely at any of the vehicles. The van was still in really good shape, and Blitz was not looking to replace it.
As they came towards the end, Blitz stopped suddenly. “Oh my Satan,” he whispered in awe. At the end of the row was a horse, tied up to a makeshift pole. Blitz’s eyes had gotten as big as saucers and shimmered like those of a human child on Christmas morning.
Stolas didn’t need to imagine what kind of criminal this animal had belonged to. He knew firsthand. The creature was beautiful, with a fiery lava lamp stomach. He was definitely gorgeous. However, Stolas had spent quite a bit of time tied up on the back of this animal and would have been quite happy to never see it again.
“Oh, you are a beautiful thing,” Blitz whispered. He whirled around to face Stolas. “We can’t leave this poor guy here. Someone might decide to turn him into glue. Or worse, what if no one buys him? They’ll put him down.”
“Blitz, you can not seriously suggest that we purchase a horse,” Stolas stared between him and the horse. Blitz had to be joking. And even if he wasn't, he couldn’t possibly think Stolas would want the horse that was part of his kidnapping.
“Stolas.” Blitz looked so desperate. “We could actually afford him. We would be saving a life.”
“Saving a– you can not be serious.” Stolas felt his anger rise up.
Blitz simply looked pleadingly at Stolas. Stolas normally would give in to that look without hesitation. But this was too much. He had to put his foot down and take a stand. “I am tired of sleeping on that worn-out old couch. We need a new one. We do not need a horse.” He crossed his arms and turned away.
Blitz’s whole body slumped. “Yeah. You're right. I just need a minute.“ And he turned and walked in the opposite direction
Stolas, not knowing what else to do, simply waited by the horse.
He had to admit it really was a beautiful specimen. And he seemed quite gentle. There was also a sadness in his eyes. Those big eyes reminded Stolas of a pair of big golden eyes.
A man in a suit came up. “Oh, look. Perfect for the glue factory. And the pelt could be turned into a lovely rug.” The man ran his hands along the horse's neck. “Very fine indeed. Guess I know what I am buying.”
Stolas looked after the man in disbelief. “For fuck’s sake” he whispered to himself, bewildered and completely baffled with himself by what he was about to do. There was no way for them to keep the horse, but he was not about to let the creature be turned into glue and a rug. That was just cruel and unusual punishment. It wasn't the horse's fault that his owner was a criminal.
A plan formulated in Stolas’ mind. He turned quickly and walked in a different direction from Blitz. He would catch up with him eventually, but he needed to make a phone call first.
Stolas found his way to the hall in which the auction was to be held. Many people were pushing in trying to ensure they got a good seat. Stolas spotted Blitz sitting in the second row. Stolas made his way next to him. Blitz had his arms crossed, his legs up on the chair next to him, and a scowl on his face. When Stolas approached, he removed his legs from the chair so that Stolas could sit.
He was still looking quite angry, but he took a deep breath. “Stolas, I am sorry. I had no right to yell at you. I just… when it comes to letting a horse die… it’s just… I have a really hard time with that. I am sorry.” He pointedly looked away. “I know you are right, we definitely don’t need a horse, but we do need a couch.”
Stolas looked thoughtful. “You know,” he said as if lost in thought. “I actually really like our couch. I am not quite ready for a new one. Maybe we should hold off on it.”
Blitz shot him a look. “Are you nuts? We are never getting another deal like that again.”
Stolas shrugged. “I remember you mentioning they have these auctions every year. Is that correct?” Blitz nodded. Blitz knew something was going on, but he couldn’t quite place his finger on what it was. Stolas continued, “So we will simply wait till next year. I feel that next year there will be a better option for us.”
“Whatever,” Blitz said slowly, starting to stand.
“Oh, but Blitz,” Stolas stopped him. “If you do not mind, I would like to stay for the auction. It seems like it would be thrilling.” Blitz gave him an aggressive look.
He sat back down and mumbled. “Something’s fishy in envy.”
“Oh, don’t be silly.” Stolas giggled and settled in to watch the show.
Item after Item was brought out. It was truly fascinating to see people bid on the most random things. Some items Stolas knew to be extremely valuable, but they went for mere cents to the dollar. Some items went for more than Stolas would have ever guessed. It was fascinating.
As people completed their bids and items were sold, the hall slowly emptied. Either patrons leaving who did not get what they wanted or leaving to pick up their treasures and scurrying them back home.
By the time the last vehicle sold, the hall was nearly empty. It was just Blitz, Stolas, and the gentleman who said he was turning the horse into glue and a rug left. They brought the horse out, and Blitz’s eyes were brimming with unshed tears.
“Stolz, I don’t want to see this. You got an idea for how things go. I think we can leave now.” Blitz whispered.
“Gentlemen, what we have here is a genuine purebred lava stag. One of the most gentle and easiest of horses to train. Do I hear 20 mammon dollars?”
The man, who was sitting behind them, raised his hand. Stolas glared at him. Blitz was once again starting to rise. Stolas raised his hand, “25.”
“What are you doing?” Blitz hissed. “We said. We can’t keep a horse at the apartment.”
“And you were right. We can not allow such a beautiful creature to be shipped off to be turned into glue. It is barbaric.” Stolas said as if it were the most rational thing in the world.
“30,” the man countered, and before Blitz could even blink, Stolas raised the stakes to “35.”
“You know we have 200, but I don’t think we should risk it all. Come on. You proved your point. You care about what I care about.”
“I do, my darling. I really do.” Stolas gazed at him lovingly.
“40,” the man offered.
“45,” Stolas countered.
This went on and on until they had reached 150 mammon dollars. Stolas could tell the man was starting to run out of steam. He took a bit of a gamble and declared “200.” He prayed to Lucifer that this would work. He found himself quite invested in saving the horse now.
“225.” The man said. Stolas and Blitz both looked at each other. They had nothing more to bid. It was over. The stallion was lost. Blitz had allowed himself to hope for a moment that they were going to pull it off. But now everything was lost.
The auctioneer looked at Stolas, who subtly shook his head. “225 going, once, going twice..”
“300,” a voice called out from the back of the room. All eyes turned to behold the demon that had just entered. A very regal Goetia who seemed Stork-like stood there, head held high.
The man who had been locked into a bidding war with Stolas threw up his arms. “That is too rich for my blood. I’m out.” The man cleared out.
The auctioneer finished the deal. “300, going once, going twice, sold to the esteemed Shax of the Ars Goetia.” Shax bowed ever so slightly at the mention of her name.
The auctioneer collected his gavel and price book. Blitz looked longingly at the horse waiting patiently for someone to decide what to do with him.
Stolas stood up and tugged at Blitz’s sleeve. “Come, I want to introduce you.” He sounded almost excited.
Blitz, on the other hand, was feeling much more in the mood to pout. “I honestly don’t want to go meet them.”
“Come on. Don’t be like that.” Stolas made his way towards her, pulling Blitz behind him. “Shax, how are you, my dear?” Blitz grumbled behind the owl.
Shax was watching the two of them closely. She looked Blitz up and down, appraising him. “So this is the imp that stole the heart of a Goetic Prince?” She clattered her beak together briefly before shaking her white feathers with their black tips. “I guess I can see it. I mean, he isn’t my type. I like stags myself, but he isn’t bad, I guess.”
Blitz was not at all sure what to make of this Shax. The stork-like bird demon seemed to be very arrogant, yet at the same time… Blitz didn’t completely dislike her. Maybe he could give her a chance since Stolas seems so adamant about it.
Stolas was smiling broadly at her. “You know you didn’t need to actually purchase the horse.” The gratitude he felt was evident.
Shax looked past the two at the horse she had just purchased. A gentle smile crossed her lips as she pushed past them and approached the steed. “He is absolutely gorgeous. A creature like this must be treated like royalty, not turned into profit as glue and a carpet.” She shook her feathers with indignation. “The mere idea is just unbearable. I could tell you did not have the funds to make the final bid. So I decided to help.”
“If Stella finds out, she will be angry, I fear,” Stolas whispered.
“Pish posh, who cares about that shrew. She is far too full of herself. Besides, I am Shax after all. Who would dare deny me a horse?” She stroked the horse's mane. “Such a beautiful creature.”
She turned to look at Blitz. “Since I actually had to purchase him directly, I think the deal will need to change.” Blitz blinked slowly, absolutely confused.
“Deal? What Deal?”
“Ah, well, you see, darling. I couldn’t let the horse go to the glue factory. But we also do not have the means to care for one. So I called dear sweet Shax and asked her for help to board the horse. In return, we would pay a small monthly fee for his food and board.”
Blitz couldn’t believe it. “You set that up for me?”
Shax interrupted. “But now I have purchased the horse, so it makes no sense for you to pay me for those things. He is not yours, he is mine.”
Blitz felt a surge of sadness. He was grateful the horse would be safe and well taken care of. However, he also felt a sadness come over him, realizing he would not see this beautiful creature again.
“No, I guess not,” he said. “But you will take good care of him, I am sure.”
Shax tried very hard to bite back the smile that was trying to spread across her features. She cleared her throat in an effort to regain her composure before she said. “Well, I was not expecting to care for another horse. I have so many, you see. My poor stable boys will be so overworked.” She tapped a finger to her chin as if lost in thought, before she snapped her fingers and declared. “I know. What if, once or twice a week, you come to my stable and care for him? Maybe even take him for a ride so he gets his exercise. What do you think?”
Blitz’s jaw hung open, the shock so big. “You mean I get to come visit him? Help take care of him?”
Shax shrugged, her smile no longer staying hidden. “Well, if it wasn’t for you and Stolas, I wouldn’t have known about him. He truly is majestic. And if there is one thing I appreciate in a person, it is a love of horses. Which you have in spades.” She leaned forward. “Trust me, I know. Horses are my thing.” She straightened back up and looked at them both. “I truly do think this will work out for everyone.”
“Hell yeah!” Blitz said his excitement was infectious. Stolas smiled and found he was looking forward to the first visit to Shax’s ranch. Blitz pulled out his phone and handed it to Stolas. “Will you take a picture of Bombproof and me?” How could Stolas say no? Blitz went up and stroked the bottom of the horse's jaw. Stolas had to smile at the absolute admiration that shone in Blitz’s eyes. He noted the heart-shaped pupils and melted. He took a picture, glad to have something to forever remember that moment by.
