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The Weight of Living

Summary:

As Cassandra hugged her knees closer to her that night, tears sliding down her face and a spare cloak wrapped around her for warmth, she remembered.

 

A different de Rolo child survived that night.

Notes:

title from The Weight of Living by Bastille because it is very much a de Rolo song imo

I don't really have an excuse for this other than I go back to school tomorrow and I needed to preoccupy myself in a way that wasn't planning a d&d campaign to death :/

Cassandra de Rolo is such an interesting character and I wanted to explore who she could have been if she wasn't the Briarwood's prisoner, and how Vox Machina would behave if they had met her instead of Percy in that cell. idk. maybe I just wanted to write a lot?

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Cassandra remembered the water.

She remembered how it carried her away as she slipped out of consciousness, the vision of her brother face down in the snow seared across her eyes.

She remembered waking up to a man who smelled like fish sitting beside her as his wife coaxed her back to life. The warm fire and the selfless hospitality. The clean clothes and a bed in exchange for simple housework.

“A man started chasing me through the woods. He tried to kill me.”

She remembered the lie that slipped from her lips when the woman asked about her wounds. It felt bad to lie, but at least there was some truth to it. She hated the pitiful look but she cherished the warm hug and the gentle hands that treated her wounds.

She felt bad for sneaking out and leaving behind only a note.

 

Cassandra remembered cutting her hair. She remembered holding the dagger to her dark locks that reminded her too much of her sisters and mother, and slicing until it lay in a puddle by her feet.

She remembered stealing some simple boys clothes and tucking a cap low over her hair, as she went by her brother’s name. She remembered hanging around street corners and other street urchins, watching and learning from them. Never taking more than she desperately needed and always returning when she had the coin.

 

Cassandra remembered all the odd jobs she would do for a simple pay. Anything to survive the night. Anything for a bed to sleep in or a warm meal. No one glanced at her twice.

She fell asleep to her mother’s words of ‘a de Rolo will always prevail’ repeated over and over again until the words held no meaning.

 

Cassandra remembered the night Orthax invaded her dreams. Remembered trying to fight it off, resist it with all her young might.

Remembered how he promised her power. He promised her more strength than she could ever dream of having. More power than she could ever wield alone. Enough power to keep her safe, to keep her alive, to get revenge.

She gave in. She gave in to the demon.

She was never a tinker like her brother. Her skills lay with her mother's teachings: elegance, manners, and swordsmanship.

While she hadn't wielded a real sword yet in her life - her father and siblings insisting it was far too dangerous and her mother reluctantly agreeing - her skills from the wooden swords were easy to transfer.

The blacksmith barely looked at her as she chose a simple short sword and paid for it with all her change. She sat that night in her borrowed tavern room, scratching names into the metal. It wasn’t neat or anywhere near as good as someone trained could have done, but Cassandra still did it. She stayed up for hours, meticulously carving names into the base of the sword.

Her hands ached and her fingers bled with tiny cuts when she finally sat back and dusted away the metal shavings. A shadow passed over the sword and the names seemed to glow black for a moment. The names seemed to sink into the sword like a brand and Cassandra felt a strange numbness spreading over her. But she felt stronger than she had in a long time. More focused.

She had a goal now, and she would do it with that sword.

 

Cassandra remembered training until her body ached. Repeating parries and attacks over and over as the sun arced in the sky. It was an obsession, urged on by the voice in the back of her head that made her sword feel light in her grip.

She wanted revenge on those who had wronged her; on those who had wronged her name. It was the only thing that kept her going: the promise of a swift and sudden end to the Briarwoods and their subordinates.

 

Cassandra remembered the feeling of horror when her body began to grow up and her disguise slowly began to fail. She remembered wrapping long strips of cloth around her torso to try and even out her figure, tilting her cap lower on her head. Some days Cassandra would let the disguise go, but she drew too much attention. Too many people would glance her way, too many well meaning folk would try to engage her in a conversation, too many lingering looks on her dress and her white hair.

It was easier to stay hidden and not be Cassandra de Rolo.

 

Cassandra remembered the day the word Ripley reached her ears and how her blood ran hot and cold at once.

It was her chance.

It was fate.

 

Cassandra remembered sneaking into Anna Ripley’s house. She remembered holding the sword over the traitor’s heart and readying the fatal blow. She remembered the guards hands on her arms, knocking the sword away and pinning her to the ground.

 

Cassandra remembered sitting in a cell for days, weeks, months, with heavy chains around her wrists and ankles. She sat in her ragged clothes, her white hair falling into her face as it grew with no blade to tame it.

Her disguise began to fall apart within a week and no one cared.

Every day a single, mediocre plate of food was pushed under her door and Cassandra would eat half of it.

 

Cassandra remembered the day her saviours came for her. She remembered the unfamiliar voices outside her cell and the stranger’s face appearing from the shadows.

A woman. A half-elf? She wore a strange circlet on her head that almost obscured her eyes in the low light, and her red hair caught the firelight.

“Who are you?” Cassandra asked, her voice croaking from disuse and lack of water.

“My name is Keyleth. Of the Air Ashari.” The woman said, one hand touching the bars of her cell gingerly. Cassandra could see the pity in her eyes. The horror that this young girl was being kept here. “What’s your name?” She asked, watching Cassandra closely.

“Pete.” She said, holding onto the last dregs of her alias.

“What is it really?” Keyleth pressed, crouching so she was more level with Cassandra. They were both quiet for a moment, before Cassandra cleared her throat awkwardly.

“Cassandra Johanna Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo.” Her throat ached as she spoke, but her full name spilled from her lips easily. It had been so long since she had said it out loud to anyone. The fear of the Briarwoods finding her had kept her nameless for all those years.

“Keyleth what are you doing? We need to go.” A new voice said, stepping into the light briefly. A man. Dressed all in black with a cloak obscuring his form.

“She's just a kid, Vax. I don't wanna leave her.” Keyleth turned away as if that meant Cassandra couldn't hear.

“Oi, where are your parents?” A new, gentler voice asked as a mite of a man stepped up to the bars.

“They both were killed years ago.” Cassandra said, feeling nothing in her chest. “Along with the rest of my family.”

“See, Vax? We can't leave her here.” The woman named Keyleth said. The man dressed in black turned his attention to Cassandra and she met his gaze without an ounce of hesitation.

“What did you do to end up here?” He asked, silently judging her.

“I tried to kill one of the women that betrayed my family and hurt me.” Cassandra said. She didn't have the patience to lie to these strangers.

“Can you fight?” The short man asked her. Cassandra nodded.

“I know how to use a sword as well as any trained soldier.” Cassandra said.

“Bold claim.” The man in black said.

“Because I know it's the truth.” Cassandra said, her gaze level and steady.

The short man looked over his shoulder and turned back to look at Cassandra.

“I say we bust her out of here, at least. Maybe she can help.” He said, casting his vote.

Cassandra barely felt joy as the man dressed in black unlocked her cell door, or as a magical purple hand broke the chains around her limbs.

A short woman with white hair pinned up on her head gently touched her shoulder and helped her to her feet, letting Cassandra lean on her as they walked. A dragonborn with red skin held out a bottle to her and Cassandra looked at them wearily before she drank the healing potion, thanking the dragonborn quietly.

 

Cassandra remembered the rush when she slaughtered two of the bandits that had tried to ambush them in their sleep. The slow ebb as the adrenaline left her system and she wanted to just fall asleep where she stood. Her sword felt heavy in her hands and she couldn't pretend she didn't feel that dark pull a few times, but she was alive. Her travelling companions were alive.

She remembered Keyleth hugging her tightly as it felt like her knees were about to give. She was still weak from those months of malnutrition and neglect, but she was as strong as ever when she needed to be.

She remembered seeing the small look that Scanlan gave Vax as if to silently tell him ‘I told you so’ as Cassandra sleeping wiped the blood from her weapon before she laid it down on the ground next to her bedroll.

 

Cassandra remembered sitting up on second watch with Scanlan a few months after they'd taken her in. They were still reluctant to call each other family, but they were definitely all friends. That was fine by Cassandra.

“Hey, Cassie,” Scanlan said quietly over the fireplace. She looked up from cleaning remnants of gore from her sword.

“Hm?” She still wasn't sure how kindly she took to being Cassie. The name still reminded her of her sibling’s mischievous faces and her mother’s hands smoothing down her hair gently.

“How old are you, anyway?” Scanlan asked, watching her as she huddled by the fire and cleaned her sword.

“Too young for you, Scanlan.” Cassie quipped without thinking. Then she paused and looked up at him seriously. “Almost seventeen, I think. I lost track a little while ago.” She scowled at the sad look on Scanlan’s face.

“What did you do before we found you in that cell? Who did you stay with?” Scanlan asked, a strange and faraway look on his face.

“I didn't stay with anyone. And I did whatever mercenary job needed to be done.” Cassandra said, watching Scanlan with a confused look on her face. “Why do you ask?”

“You just don't sound like you should be a street kid.” Scanlan said it with a casual shrug and an underlying air of knowing.

“Well it wasn't my upbringing, if that's what you're looking for. I was born into a respectable family. It just so happened that they were all murdered and I left in order to survive.” Cassandra’s tone grew clipped and her throat was tight. She should have been close to tears - she wanted to react normally and cry as she remembered everything - but instead Cassandra forced the images of Percival and the arrows out of her mind.

Scanlan only nodded and stayed quiet, staring off into the distance. Cassandra went back to cleaning the weapon laid across her lap.

“If it makes you feel better, we've all been through some fucked up shit in this group. You fit right in.” Scanlan said, his jovial and teasing tone back in his voice. Cassandra smile and looked up at him.

“I wouldn't let Keyleth hear you swearing around me. She already thinks you're a bad influence as it is.” Cassandra teased, smiling as Scanlan laughed quietly.

 

Cassie remembered the feast.

She remembered pulling the cap over her head and suddenly looking like a variation of Keyleth’s family tree, the Air Ashari robes unfamiliar against her skin.

They knew about the Briarwoods. Cassie couldn't help but tell them everything. Almost everything. Most of it.

She held onto Keyleth’s hand as they walked through the Cloudtop District, the lie about Keyleth’s cousin coming to visit and Vax’s sudden illness spilling from her friend’s mouth easily.

Keyleth squeezed her hand reassuringly as they sat and ate at the same table as the people who made Cassie’s entire family killed. She barely spoke, and the group played it off as simple shyness.

Cassie couldn't bare how Lord Briarwood’s eyes lingered over her, or how Lady Briarwood talked with Vex like they were old friends. She almost left the table when they started talking about the de Rolos. Numbness spread over her as the Briarwood's lied through their teeth about a nonexistent disease that never occurred.

Her chest burned and she felt nothing all at once. The only thing that kept her sane was the small, amusing comments Vax would whisper over their earrings, poking fun at the guests in all their finery.

“Are you alright, dear? You look a little pale?” Lady Briarwood fixed Cassie with a faux-concerned look and Cassie wanted to either run away or throat her knife at her.

“She's just a little shy. It's the first time she's left the Air Ashari to visit, actually.” Keyleth stepped in, a reassuring hand on Cassie’s shoulder. Cassie nodded, staying in character and focusing on the wineglass she was sipping from.

“It's a shame that Vax’ildan couldn't make it tonight.” Allura said quietly to Vex, her eyebrow quirked subtly.

“It is, but at least Cassie is there to watch over him.” Vex said, the lie smooth on her tongue from years of practice. They'd planned on not mentioning Cassie, but Uriel had said her name in the introduction so they quickly covered their lie.

“I suppose that’s true.” Allura agreed, casting a quick glance at Cassie’s disguise.

Cassie just took another sip of the wine, looking anywhere but at the murderers amongst them.

 

Cassie remembered running beside Vex, her sword in her hand and her breath burning in her lungs.

Jenga.

Their signal. The warning.

Vax was on the ground. He wasn't moving. People were standing over him. The Briarwoods were standing over him.

Vex fired a shot in anger and grief for her brother on the ground.

Cassie froze. The Briarwoods had taken everything from her. Her family. Her home. Her name. Her brother who should have survived with her.

They weren't going to take anything else from her.

Cassie barely registered her feet pounding against the ground or the shouts of people behind her. She didn't feel the cap slipping from her head until the spell dropped and Cassie felt her hair flying out behind her and she sprinted.

She unsheathed her blade and barely slowed down as she swung towards Lord Briarwood.

She missed, but they had moved back.

Cassie swung again, her muscles straining with the control as she reached only just enough to drive them back.

Vax came back to consciousness as Cassie continued to try and drive the Briarwoods back.

Run!

Vax began to run back to his sister. He tried to pull Cassie back with him but she was steadfast in her attacks.

She cut into Lady Briarwood’s collar bone, slicing through her necklace and scattering jewels on the ground beneath them.

“Would you look at that, dear. The pup yet lives.”

Cassie felt some overwhelming force try to pry it's way into her mind and it hurt. Her grip on the sword faltered just for a second as she willed herself to fight it.

Black smoke began to billow up from her sleeves as she swung again blindly. She felt the blade connect to some flesh and heard the sound of Lord Briarwood hiss of pain at the same time as an arrow collided with him.

Cassie sank into a practiced stance as the black smoke began to coalesce along the blade of her sword.

“How cute. Just like her brother.”

Lady Briarwood only smiled and pointed a single finger towards Cassie. She struggled for air, falling to her knees as the sword fell from her grasp and clattered to the ground.

It hurt.

It felt like she was dying.

It felt like she was suffocating and burning and drowning all at once.

Then it was over and Cassie had tears falling down her face.

A blade swung down towards her, but Scanlan’s voice shook her from her stupor in time to dive out of the way.

Keyleth cried out to her as she cast spell after spell at the Briarwoods. Vex fired arrows with supernatural precision, standing in front of her fading brother.

Grog was thundering towards where Cassie knelt in front the Briarwoods, warhammer aflame and eyes red with rage. He roughly pushed her back a few steps, standing in front of her. The flames illuminated him like a monster from her storybooks, but Cassie felt no fear.

Cassie barely registered the Briarwoods being forced backwards until she saw them vanish into thin air. She barely thought as she grasped her sword and ran, urged on by the voices behind her.

She ran until she saw the carriage. She saw as Lord Briarwood ducked inside and barely glanced at her as he shut the door.

A primal fury billowed up inside of her and Cassie extended the point of her sword towards the carriage.

The blade began to smoke like kindling, and the wheel of the carriage splintered and broke. Ice suddenly grew in fractals under the carriage and it skidded wildly as the driver lost control.

It made a horrendous noise as the whole carriage began to topple to the side, taking the driver and the horses with it.

Cassie didn't wait for Vox Machina as she ran over to inspect the carnage. The Briarwoods pulled themselves out, stepping onto the ground. They were haggard, and Cassie took pride in that.

Lady Briarwood fixated on her, gently adjusting her clothes.

“Well, at the very least, I think you should come visit us sometime, Cassandra. You’re always welcome back home. Be nice to visit your family once in awhile.”

Those words tore through her chest like a dagger and Cassie saw Vex fire an arrow over her head. It didn’t accomplish anything.

Lady Briarwood wrapped her arms around her husband and whispered something in his ear. Then they vanished.

Cassie’s strength left her all at once.

They'd escaped.

They knew she was alive.

The Briarwoods knew where she was.

Panic began to sink in but Cassie saw a slight shift of movement. The driver. He was alive.

Without a word as Cassie heard the others approach, she walked over to the driver and swung the hilt of her sword into his shoulder, knocking the boy to the ground. She stabbed her sword through his hand and stood over him. Strands of white hair fell over her shoulders.

“You will tell me everything you know about the Briarwoods and Whitestone, and maybe - maybe - I will be merciful as I kill you.” Cassie spoke with a strange tone in her voice but she didn't care.

“I don't know much-”

“You know more than you think. And you will talk.”

Some part buried deep in Cassie’s chest - the part of her that still mourned for her family and resisted the darkness that had taken over her - cried to show mercy towards the boy who was barely older than she was.

“You don’t understand. The Briarwoods - they’ll kill me if I talk.”

“Then they will be too late.”

She reared back and hit the driver’s temple with the hilt of her sword again, knocking him unconscious.

Casssie was unsteady on her feet as she stepped away from him, only shouting that he needed to be locked up. She didn’t pay attention to what Keyleth said to the guard, or to the Tiefling that appeared out of nowhere in the midst of the battle.

Carefully, Cassie began to rifle through the carriage, but she couldn’t find anything incriminating.

The only thing they had to go on was the name and the soon-fading remnants of a Hunter’s Mark. It wasn’t enough, but Cassie was tired and frustrated.

The sword emitted a dull pulse in her hand and Cassie’s grip tightened.

 

Cassie remembered the bodies hanging from the Sun Tree.

The same Sun Tree that she had danced under during festivals. That watched over Whitestone and was always a fond memory.

The same Sun Tree that had depictions of her friends, her family, hanging dead and lifeless.

She had walked away from the group, down the next street.

She wanted to cry. Wanted to mourn for the people hanging from the branches, and for the defiled Sun Tree. But the only thing she felt was rage.

A bone deep rage that wanted to burn the Briarwoods to the fucking ground for what they did.

Cassie clutched that rage with both hands.

 

Cassie remembered the time she saw her dead brother almost die again.

Her brother, on his knees, his throat slit and blood on his clothes. He clutched his throat and his breath was ragged. But he was alive.

Goddammit, Percival was alive.

And he was going to stay that way, if Cassie had any say in it.

Black smoke started to billow out from her clothes, swirling around her sword and hardening like a shell. She stepped so she could see Professor Anders.

Her disguise was gone. Her hair was cut just below her shoulders and tied back at Vex’s insistence. She had changed a lot in the years since she had left, but as Anders met her eye and his hand fell away from his face in shock.

“Cassandra.”

She didn’t speak as she threw her sword towards him.

It pinned his arm to the wall and Cassie revelled in the scream of pain.

She watched as her friends came to her brother’s or fired at the pathetic man in the corner. She barely registered Keyleth pulling her brother out of the fray or Vax fall to the ground. Even the sword slashing into her side barely hurt.

Nothing mattered except getting revenge.

Cassie stepped forward slowly, pushing away the animated armour with ease. Anders was frozen, her sword keeping him place.

Her hands grabbed the hilt and pulled it free. The blood arced forwards, hitting her shoulder. One hand pushed Ander’s chest so he stayed in place as the other hand lifted the sword above her head.

She swung down, the sword biting into his shoulder. Cassie barely gave him time to scream before she yanked the sword out again, readying the next attack.

“Cassandra, you disappoint us all. All you had to do was die like a good de Rolo.” Ander’s words sounded blurry, like he was underwater.

Traitor.

“This land has a greater destiny-” He didn’t finish his sentence. Cassie jabbed the sword into his chest, denting the breastplate inwards and causing him to gasp sharply.

Shut up.”

He looked at her with his one good eye and tilted his head back. He had accepted his death.

“I die to rise again.”

Cassie rested the tip of her blade against his lips and she felt the smoke around her grow thicker. Anger boiled in her veins and her knuckles turned white.

“You’re the face I saw when murder entered my heart. This is your doing.”

The sword was thrust upwards. It sliced through the back of his throat and embedded itself between two of the stones in the wall.

It felt like the world had no sound.

Cassie stepped backwards, letting go of her sword. It stayed in place, and Anders slid down it slowly.

Her breath was ragged. She pulled her sword free, using her foot to pry Ander’s dead body off it.

A small flash ran across the metal of the sword and Cassie watched as the blade smoothed over where Ander’s name once was scratched into it.

The rest of the fight barely matter anymore. It wasn’t until the room was completely silent again that Cassie seemed to come back to herself.

Arrows scattered the room and Cassie didn’t want to get involved when she saw Vax suddenly pull Keyleth into a kiss, so she sheathed her sword by her side and meticulously went around and picked up every arrow that could be used again.

She waited until Keyleth’s spell completed and took a few, tentative steps closer to him.

“Vax, are you alright?” Cassie kept her voice low and gentle.

“I feel better, thank you.”

“That’s good.” Cassie said, giving him a second to breathe, but she suddenly turned and pushed the bundle of arrows into his chest, almost pushing him over. “Don’t go into rooms by yourself, god dammit Vax!”

“He was going to kill your brother-”

“Thank you, but the next time, you had better wait for backup.” Cassie turned on her heel and began to walk towards her brother, but she slowed when she saw him watching her.

His eyes were bright with life and his dark hair was still as messy as she remembered, even if his face was a bit thinner and his scrawny figure had filled out in the last few years.

“Cassie?” His voice was deeper than she remembered, and it caught her off guard just a bit. Her big brother was a man now. And she was more a woman than a girl. At some point they had both grown up, and neither of them had been around to see it.

Hi.” Cassie said lamely, well aware of the blood on her armour and the sweat on her skin.

“Cassie.” He pulled himself to his feet and took a few steps towards her.

They met somewhere in the middle: Percival almost lifting her with the force of his hug, and Cassie blinking back tears. She didn’t want to cry into her brother’s shoulder. Not now. Not when there were still names on her blade.

I’m so sorry, Percy.” She whispered into his shoulder, clutching him as tightly as she could.

Percival stepped back a little, holding onto her shoulder. He gently wiped away a stray tear from her face and she laughed gently as she saw the wet trails down her brother’s face. They always were the softest souls of the family.

“They told me you were dead.” Percival said quietly, taking in every little different. The white hair, the lean muscles from years of fighting, the loose trousers and tunic under the scuffed up armour. “I see we’ve both survived quite a bit.”

Cassie noticed the streaks of white at her brother’s temple and the small lines on his skin that hadn’t been there before. The small scars on his hands that drifted up his sleeve, the small crack in his glasses lens.

“We’re both strong enough to survive it. I wouldn’t trade, though.” She said, with the smallest laugh in her voice. She surged forwards suddenly, wrapping her arms around Percival’s middle and sudden memories of when she was much shorter and they were both much younger came to her mind. “I thought I’d lost you forever. I still see you in the snow, Percy. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’msorry-

“Cassie,” Percival said, his voice just as gentle as it was when she would cry from a nightmare and he would comfort her. She looked up at him and hoped that he couldn’t see how red her eyes were. “I’m just glad that you’re alive and that you found people to look out for you.”

“I’m glad that you’re alive too, Percy.” Cassie said, sniffing and roughly wiping her face with her hand.

His face turned grave and Percival gently removed her arms from him, keeping one hand on her shoulder.

“You shouldn’t be here, they were only using me-”

“Brother, are you alright?” Cassie interrupted, raking over his features. “Are you yourself? They didn’t do anything to you?”

“No, I’m alright.”

Cassie knew better than expect him to be the same Percival that she rescued from the dungeons five years ago, but the difference was striking. His gaze was hardened, his shoulders permanently tensed, his hands shook just a little.

But Cassie certainly wasn’t the same either.

“We’re putting an end to the Briarwoods tonight. Everything they’ve done, they will pay for with their lives, and we will take Whitestone back from them. I promise.” Cassie said, her voice hard as the steel of her blade.

“We’ve tried twice.” Percival said, his voice quiet and sad.

“I know. But this is it.” Cassie said, reaching out and taking her brother’s hand. She clutched it tightly. “By dawn, Whitestone will be free.”

Her words seemed to resonate with Percival and he seemed to grow bold with her words. His hand wrapped around her and he nodded.

“If we’re going to do this, let’s get ready.” He said, catching her off guard just a little bit.

“You want to fight with us?” She asked, a little taken aback. Her brother could barely handle playing rough with the twins, let alone a battle against beings of evil.

“I’m not going to leave you to those godforsaken beings.” Percival said. “And what sort of brother would I be if I let you fight alone?”

“A sensible one, really.” Cassie admitted. “I’ve been fighting for my life for years now, Percy, and I have no idea how well you can handle an honest to God fight.”

“Cassie, I’ve been fighting the Briarwoods for the last three years. I’m not leaving your side again.” Percival said. Cassie nodded, feeling the same way.

“Do you have any weapons you can use?” She asked.

“I have an... experimental weapon I can use. There’s no guarantee that it will work one-hundred-percent of the time, but it’s better than nothing.” Percival admitted.

“Then get it and meet us back here.” Cassie said, standing taller. “We regroup here and go into the tunnels.”

Percival nodded and finally let their hands fall. He left the room and Cassie was finally hit with the stone cold fact that her brother was alive!

He was alive.

“Cassie,” Keyleth said, resting her hand on Cassie’s shoulder, “you have a brother.” The joy was infectious and Cassie leaned into Keyleth’s hug.

“Oh God, I do.”

 

Cassie remembered Orthax.

She remembered holding the sword to Lady Briarwood’s neck as smoke billowed around her. Her reflection in the metal showing her dark eyes but she kept her aim true.

“Take it off. His name doesn’t belong on this sword.” She called out as she felt the pulsing in the sword grow stronger.

We had a deal. You gave everything you are for my gifts, Cassandra.

“I don’t care, you’ve broken the deal. I wanted revenge and I wanted power but I wanted my country and family back more. You went back on your word.” Cassie dropped the tip of her sword to the ground and pulled out a dagger. She pressed the tip under her chin.

The others shouted at her and Percival’s voice broke through the haze.

“Cassie! Please don’t!”

She dug the dagger into the skin just a little

“What am I worth to you? As far as I can gather, I’m just a means to an end for you. You wanted me to wield weapons for you. You wanted me to kill for you. I can’t even remember if I wanted revenge before you infected me. I’ve been nothing but a pawn in your grand scheme and I’m done.” Cassie removed the dagger and aimed it at Delilah. “You’ve been using me. You’ve used both of us. And now you’ve threatened my brother. The deal is off. I want you out of my head.”

She remembered hearing the voice in her head, urging her to killher killDelilah killher, but she stood steadfast. Smoke obscured her, her body shook, the sword pulsed.

You don’t have the power to call off this deal.

Her hand lifted the sword as if she was going to swing at Lady Briarwood, but Cassie forced her grip to loosen. The sword clattered to the ground and her chest heaved.

“STOP IT!” She shouted, shutting her eyes tightly and lifting the dagger to her chin once again. The smoke around her thickened and the pulsing in her hand felt stronger even with the sword laying on the floor uselessly. “Delilah, I promised you would die to night and I fully intend to keep that promise. But if you want one of my companions to give you a merciful death, or some ungodly being that will torture you until you cannot remember your beloved Silas, depends on if you tell us how to stop that fucking thing under the castle!

Cassie barely heard what was being said as she aimed the dagger towards Lady Briarwood. Enough filtered through the smoke and the voice in her head only grew louder.

They were too early; it didn’t work; Delilah was just as much of a pawn as she was.

“Knock her out.”

Cassie felt nothing in her heart as Grog punched Lady Briarwood and her eyes rolled back.

She felt eyes on her. The pulsing in her hand only grew more intense until it hurt. She wanted it to end already. She was done.

“Cass?” Scanlan’s voice broke through to her and she turned to look at the rest of Vox Machina. They had weapons readied, some aiming at Lady Briarwood, some at her. “After everything she’s done, do you really think that keeping her alive is a good idea?”

“More importantly, you just had a fully-fledged five minute conversation with yourself!” Keyleth said, watching Cassie closely.

“What the hell is going on, Cassandra?” Vax demanded, his dagger still aimed at her.

“As much as I want her dead, this thing wants her dead as well. And I don’t want to give it what it wants.” Cassie said, her knuckles white around the dagger and her hand aching when it pulsed.

“What thing?” Vax snapped, his fear starting to come through in his voice.

“Vekna.” Scanlan supplied.

“The thing in my head.” Cassie said, feeling tears in her eyes at the horrified looks from her friends. She refused to look at Percival.

“You need to start explaining, Cassandra. You mentioned a deal; what deal? What does this thing want with you?” Vex’s bow went slack but she didn’t put her weapon away.

“I had a dream.” Cassie said slowly. “It was years ago, but when I woke up I was focused and I was willing to do anything to get revenge. I don’t know what it is, I- It was just a dream! I never wanted this! I wanted my family back, that’s all!”

“Well obviously it wasn’t a dream because now you’ve got smoke coming off you and a voice in your head!” Keyleth shouted, both fearful and exasperated.

“I didn’t even agree to it! Not officially, at least. It just offered me power and safety!” Cassie said, the tears almost spilling down her face. “I was scared! I was fourteen and I was living on the streets, I didn’t know what it was, I thought it was just a bad dream-!”

Cassie felt something try and force her arm holding the dagger back towards where Lady Briarwood lay. The blade pointed towards her but Cassie fought for her body.

NO!” Her voice cracked as her free hand struck her own wrist to force her grip to loosen. The dagger clattered to the ground by her feet and Cassie froze in place.  

Tears fell down her face as she saw the smoke drift away from her.

Her friends looked horrified, aiming their weapons at the smoke behind her.

C a s s a n d r a, d o i t

Then Vex shot an arrow.

Cassie remembered how her friends killed the demon in her head.

 

Cassie remembered watching Lady Briarwood’s body dissolve, holding her sword in her hand.

Lady Briarwood’s name was smoothed over now.

Percival’s name was still there. Etched in like Cassandra had done it herself. But she hadn’t. She would never.

Cassie walked over to one of the tables and picked up a small vial of acid. She didn’t say a word as she scared his name off her blade.

“Hey Cassie? Maybe you should throw that sword in the acid pit as well,” Scanlan said gently, walking up next to her.

“Don’t worry. It’s fine now.” Cassie said, lifting her sword up again and wiping off the last dregs of acid.

“It’s fine now?” Keyleth repeated, sounding thoroughly unconvinced. Cassie thought for a moment and pointed the tip of her sword at Percival’s back as he had a quiet conversation with Vex and Vax.

She felt nothing.

No pulse in her hand. No voice in her head. No need for revenge.

“Yes. It’s fine now.” Cassie said, sheathing the sword once more and nodding at Keyleth. She heard Grog say something and turned to join that conversation, missing the look on Scanlan’s face.

“I’ve had a thought, Cass.” Scanlan said, drawing her attention. “I think I know how to fix your sword, if you hand it to me.”

Cassie liked Scanlan. She trusted Scanlan. Why wouldn’t she hand him the sword?

Carefully, Cassie reached for her sword and drew it. She held out the handle of it to him and kept it steady as Scanlan took the sword from her. Scanlan stepped away from her, holding the acid scared sword.

“Thank you, Cassie,” He said, more sincere than she had ever heard him, “I think in due time you will thank me for this.”

Cassie watched as Scanlan turned away from her and her eyes followed the sword as it fell into the acid pit.

When the spell fades, she’s going to be super pissed, someone protect me.” Scanlan said, already putting some distance between him and Cassie.

The spell faded as Scanlan was running to hide behind Grog and Cassie felt anger flare up in her chest.

“You fucking gnome!” Cassie shouted, lunging towards Scanlan.

Keyleth said something familiar and Cassie felt her body lock up. A pang of fear rang through her for a moment before Vex stepped into her view.

“Cassie, it’s alright, he was doing the right thing. Don’t be too mad at him.” Her hands rested on her shoulders like they had done a million times when she was comforting or trying to calm someone down.

“He’s buying me a new one.” Cassie said, anger still raw inside her.

“We’ll get you a new one, Cass. A nicer one.” Keyleth promised.

A dark plume of smoke rose from the acid pit and the cold in Cassie’s chest vanished along with it. She took a deep breath like someone had punched her in the chest and Keyleth let the spell go.

Cassie stumbled to her feet and looked around. She still glared at Scanlan (and his small dance of victory as he sat on Grog’s shoulders), but Percival stepped in front of her. He gently held her face and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“I am so proud of you, sister.” He said. “Though I don’t agree with some of your methods.” Percival looked over his shoulder at Scanlan pointedly and Cassie saw Vax fistbump the gnome.

“I’m going to kill him someday.” Cassie said, frowning as her brother laughed.

“Let’s go, Cassie. Let’s go to our people and tell them that they are free. For the first time in five years, this city is free and now is a time to celebrate.” Percival spoke gently, with the same diplomatic air as their father had spoken with. Cassie nodded, closing her eyes and taking a few deep breaths to calm herself.

She took Percy’s arm and let him lead her back into the castle.

Whitestone was free. The Briarwoods were dead. Orthax was dead. Percival was alive and himself again.

Cassie couldn’t help but say a small prayer to Pelor as they stepped into the afternoon light.

 

Cassie remembered that Winter’s Crest.

She remembered waking up and wearing a fine dress for the first time in months, letting Vex twist her hair into a sleek plait but still wearing the same boots as always. It felt nice to be touched with luxury once in a while.

She remembered standing with Keyleth and Scanlan as they watched a street performer and laughed as his prediction for her future was a handsome husband and a litter of children. She remembered playing along when he called her a blacksmith’s daughter because of the roughened skin on her hands.

Cassie remembered cheering on Grog with the others, not even upset at her small loss from her bet. She remembered cheering on the twins and Trinket as they ate copious amounts of pie and feeling freer than she had in years. 

She remembered Keyleth pulling her aside and handing her a box with a raven’s skull inside. It was macabre and unordinary, but it seemed to make perfect sense. Cassie felt a warmth in her chest and she pulled Keyleth into a hug.

“Thank you, Keyleth.” Cassie said, burying her face into her Keyleth’s hair. “And thank you for not giving up on me.” She added in a whisper.

Keyleth’s arms tightened around her.

“Hey, we’re a family. And family doesn’t give up on each other.” Keyleth promised, stroking Cassie’s hair gently. “You’re the little sister I never had.”

“And you’re the older sister I actually get on with.” Cassie teased, feeling the ache of a hundred petty arguments with Vesper and Whitney when they were both alive. She let herself feel the pain and the sadness. It was about time she began to heal and not bury it.

Cassie remembered the band that started playing and sitting at a bench, watching the children and couples all dance together. She held onto a tankard of ale with the others, slowly making her way through it, tapping the table in perfect time with the beat. She laughed as Scanlan tried to lead the band in a song and wink at a few of the dancing women.

Her brother sat down next to her with a tankard of his own just as the first few flakes of snow began to fall.

“Aren’t you too young to be drinking?” Percival asked, toasting her drink anyway and drinking some down.

“If I hadn’t just saved all of Whitestone, maybe.” Cassie replied, easily taking a gulp of the drink. Grog leaned over and clapped Percival on the back jovially, almost making him choke on his drink.

“Fair point,” Percival said. He wiped his mouth with his sleeve, but he was smiling.

“How’s the council going so far?” Cassie asked, looking away from the dancers and focussing fully on her brother.

“We’re starting to do some good.” Percival admitted. He looped his arm around Cassie’s shoulders and pulled her in for a hug. “Everyone’s inspired by what Vox Machina has done, and everyone is determined to let this city grow.”

“I’m glad, brother.” Cassie said, a smile on her face as she straightened up.

“I should also say a thank you to all of you.” Percy said, turning to address the rest of Vox Machina. They looked at him with varying degrees of confusion.

“Not just for what you have done for Whitestone, but also for keeping my sister safe. Whitestone is indebted to you, as am I.” Percival said, giving them a nod of respect.

“Don’t be so dramatic, Percy.” Cassie said, playfully shoving Percival and almost pushing him off the bench. He laughed as he caught himself.

“You should stop by Emon, some time!” Keyleth said, almost spilling a bit of her drink. “We have a Keep, you can stay at.”

“You have a Keep?” Percival seemed impressed by that, honestly.

“We’re a bit of a big deal.” Cassie said with a shrug. “You always said that a title and enough carefully-chosen words can get you anything. I just found that a couple heroic deeds sweetens the pot.”

A familiar and nostalgic tune began to play and Cassie’s ears perked up. More people began to join the space beneath the Sun Tree, and a lot of couple left.

“A dance for old time’s sake?” Percival asked, nodding towards the crowd.

His expression was a fond one and she nodded, standing up and extending her hand towards her brother. Cassie beamed as she stood up.

“Vex and Vax, do you want to join us?” Cassie turned to the twins, smiling at their confused look.

“Why?” Vax asked, slightly distrusting.

“This dance is one for siblings. It’s traditional; celebrating family.” Percival explained.

“It’s easy to pick up.” Cassie promised.

“Come on, you two! Have a little fun!” Keyleth urged.

Cassie practically dragged Percival to where the other siblings all stood, catching a few of them throwing smile in their direction. The dance came back to both of them in a flood of happy memories. Their feet moved with the music and they acted in sync with the other dancers.

It had been five years since a de Rolo had danced as Winter’s Crest, and now the remaining two of the bloodline danced together underneath the Sun Tree once more.

As the song went on, Cassie would glance around them and see Vex and Vax laughing to each other as they desperately tried to follow along with the throngs of people. She pulled Percival closer so she could whisper her plan to him and grinned as he nodded.

When the part of the dance came where the younger sibling would switch partners with a nearby older sibling, Cassie made a beeline to where Vax danced, gently pushing Vex towards her brother.

“Hello Vax’ildan.” Cassie said, smoothly taking the lead and guiding Vax through the correct steps of the dance.

“Hello Lady Cassandra.” Vax said, slightly relieved as he fell in time seamlessly. “I assume Vex is with your brother.”

“We thought you might appreciate a bit of local knowledge.” Cassie said, a teasing smile on her face. She was a fair bit shorter than him and the image was both comical and endearing: the small noble human and the cloak-donned half-elf.

“Yeah, yeah de Rolo.” Vax muttered, but he still smiled. “Percival better not try anything with my sister.”

“Percy has far too much respect for a lady’s honour, don’t worry.” Cassie assured him, spinning Vax in time with the music. She could faintly see Grog in the distance laughing with Keyleth over something.

The song finally came to an end and Cassie courtesied along with the other sisters dancing. Vax took the hint and bowed in time with the other brothers.

More music struck up and a lot of the siblings moved off, and the couples moved back in. Vax held out his arm for Cassie and she took it with a cheeky smile.

“That was the most civilised I’ve ever seen you, Sir Vax’ildan.” Cassie teased.

“Don’t get used to it.” Vax said, but he was smiling.

The snow fell heavier as the night loomed and small lanterns were lit to stave away the darkness. Cassie drank more ale and sang along quietly as the citizens began to recite old folk songs. She clapped along as a small troupe of dancers began to perform for them, encouraged by the acappella citizens and the rhythm they created as they clapped and banged the wooden tables.

It felt like old times, and the beginning of a new age all at once.

 

Cassie remembered meeting Kaylie.

More accurately, she remembered watching Scanlan and this short haired gnome playing the flute with all their heart as their group began to infiltrate underneath the seedy bar.

She remembered Keyleth handing her a drink (ignoring the lone few disapproving looks), and cheering on Scanlan as he played off against the other flautist gnome. Remembered the look Kaylie gave her when Scanlan introduced her and patted her shoulder.

“And this is Vox Machina’s little pride and joy herself.” He said, a laugh in his voice as Cassie shoved his arm away.

“Cassandra Johanna Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo.” Cassie said, more a reflex than anything else. “Cassandra is just fine, however.” She took a big drink as she caught Vax’s slight eye roll and resisted the urge to throw a coin at his head.

“Nobility?” Kaylie asked, looking at Scanlan in surprise.

“Of sorts.”

Scanlan didn’t quite dodge Cassie’s elbow, but it made Kaylie laugh and she winked at him again.

Cassie remembered helping a heavily intoxicated Keyleth home, while she wasn’t all too steady herself, watching as they made a deal with Scanlan’s past mentor. She had a bad feeling in her gut about it, but Cassie was too tired and pretty drunk to really articulate why she had that bad idea.

 

Cassie remembered eating breakfast the next morning, barely dressed nicely and a bad headache. Not really paying attention to Grog and Scanlan’s until the news of Scanlan striking out reached her ears. Even then, she only teased him a little.

She remembered being bone tired, the thrill of a battle still in her veins. She remembered learning about Scanlan’s relation to Kaylie and being just as blown away as the rest of them. (Cassie really couldn’t help laughing until her gut hurt with the rest of them).

“Oi, Cass, I need your people skills. Keyleth, I need- I need your magic.” Scanlan said, catching looking at both of them imploringly. “I need you to help me get Kaylie out of prison.” Scanlan added, his voice slightly flatter and more pleading.

Cassie wasn’t really in the mood to put on her niceties, especially after a battle. But Scanlan had just discovered he had a daughter and if the look in his eyes was any indication, he genuinely wanted to do right by her.

Cassie knew that ache for redemption all too well.

She sighed and placed her cup back down on the table, pushing it away from her. (She pretended she didn’t see Grog immediately pick it up.)

“Give me a few minutes and I’ll help.” Cassie barely looked at him as she left the room.

It took a moment before Cassie walked back into the dining room. She wore one of her finer dresses that Percy had given her, complete with a simple necklace resting just above her heart and white gloves that usually Cassie would never wear if she had the choice. She had tied her hair up out of her face and it made her look like the most eligible young lady Cassandra de Rolo could be.

“Alright Scanlan, let’s get this over with.” Cassie said, adjusting her dress to cover the boots she wore. She adjusted the bag that she wore across her chest.

She looked up sharply when she heard Zedd let out a low whistle. He immediately withered under the intense glaring from half of Vox Machina.

“I’d watch it if I was you.” Keyleth said, putting a protective hand on Cassie’s shoulder.

(Cassie flipped the drummer off as they left.)

She remembered seeing the troupe members sighing in relief when they saw them all approach. Scanlan’s palatable fear as he beckoned her over to where he stood.

“Cassie, what’s our play here?” Scanlan asked. “What if you pretended to be arresting me? Something like that.”

“Well I assume you brought me and Keyleth along to talk to them.” Cassie said. “Honestly, men have no idea how to be diplomatic.” She whispered to Keyleth.

“Alright, so what are you going to say?” Scanlan asked.

“Just follow my lead. Keyleth, you need to carry my bag.” Cassie said, taking off her satchel and passing it to Keyleth. Keyleth nodded and slung the bag over her shoulder, giving both of them a nod. Cassie gently looped Keyleth’s arm around hers and walked towards the guards standing outside the doors.  

“Excuse me, may I talk to someone in charge?” Cassie kept her back straight and her voice honeyed. Her brother liked to think that money ruled the world, but Cassie had found that a few kind words can twist a man’s opinion and moral.

“I’m afraid that the Warden is indisposed at the moment.” One of the guards said, looking apologetic. Cassie frowned slightly and made sure it had a slight sad edge to it.

“Is there anyone else I could talk to then? This is about someone who was arrested last night. A young, female Gnome? It’s fairly urgent.” Cassie twisted her hands together, before forcing herself to stop and instead smoothed down her skirt.

The two guards shared a look before one of them looked back to her.

“Is this really urgent?” He asked. Cassie nodded sincerely.

“A matter of utmost importance.” She promised.

The two guards shared a few whispered words (Cassie wished Vex was with them for a moment) before stepping aside and opening the doors for her.

“Alright, good luck Miss.” One of them said.

Cassie gave them both a gracious smile and threw a look at Keyleth over her shoulder. Keyleth smiled back, giving her a gentle nudge forwards. Cassie glanced towards Scanlan and thanked the guards. They walked inside, not looking behind them.

The shouts reached them as soon as the doors opened. Cassie took a deep breath and focused solely on the man behind the counter, currently being shouted at by Dr Dranzel.

Dranzel spotted them first and threw his arms up, gesturing to Cassie wildly.

“Finally! Someone with actual-”

“I have warned you before, sir.” Cassie said, sharpening her tongue for just a moment. She clasped her hands in front of her like her mother had taught her all those years ago. “That behaviour is not appropriate. Shouting at this gentleman- I told you this is a matter that I am fully capable of solving. Now please, let me handle this.”

Dranzel shot Scanlan a look, before looking back at Cassie. He gave her a slight nod and adjusted his hat.

“My apologies.” Dranzel said. He left passed them, stopping for a moment to hiss something to Scanlan.

Cassie let out a slow breath, before visually composing herself and looking about the room. Her eyes settled on the man who Dranzel had been shouting at and she took a few steps towards them. Keyleth let her go, staying quiet and trusting Cassie on this.

“I assume you are the Warden?” Cassie said, lifting her chin just a little.  

“That would be me.” The man behind the desk said. At his slightly sour expression, Cassie smiled, though he seemed to be slightly relieved that he was treated with the respect he deserved. “And who, may I inquire, are you, young Miss?”

“I am Lady Cassandra Johanna Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo of Whitestone.” Cassie said confidently, giving the man a slight nod and a diplomatic smile.

“This does me no service.” The Warden said.

“Hopefully that will change.” Cassie said, not skipping a beat. “My brother Percival and I are the current Ambassadors from Whitestone, and while we are here, I have been informed that a member of a performing troupe we have hired has unfortunately been incarcerated. A young Gnome, female, plays the flute.”

“Yes, I know who you are describing.” The man said, a disgusted tone in his voice. "I assume the man who has just left was also part of this group of performers?”

“He is. And may I assure you that his behaviour will be severely reprimanded. He had to right to go against what my brother and I had said, or to take out his frustrations on you when you are merely doing you job.” Cassie put as much apology into her voice as she could, sounding more earnest than she had in months. The Warden’s expression softened ever so slightly and Cassie felt hopeful about her plan.

“Well that is good to hear.” The Warden said.

“You see, she’s part of a musical troupe that has been hired for my coming-of-age celebration at the end of the month in Whitestone, and they’re meant to be setting off tomorrow. Is there anyway she can be released? I’ve heard their music and it’s so wonderful, it would be tragic if they couldn’t play.” Cassie said, leaning forwards slightly. “Especially after all the plans my brother has made. It’s one of the first celebrations that we’ve had since our poor mother and father died, and I’d hate for even the slightest hiccup.”

She could feel the silent surprise from her friends behind her but Cassie had already committed. At her words, the Warden sat back slightly, and all the fire in his attitude had seemed to be extinguished.

“Well there is the matter of any fines for damages, or she sits until tried. The damages to the Nervous Brooke pub are estimated to be upwards of four-hundred-and-fifty gold pieces, while the fine for drunken battery and disturbing the peace amounts to two-hundred-and-fifty gold pieces, seven hundred total. Once those have been settled, I will gladly let you take the rabid duggrubber off my hands.” The Warden said, looking at her expectantly.

“You will watch what you say about her.” Scanlan interjected, but Cassie just raised her hand to silence him.

“Be calm, please.” Cassie said, not looking at Scanlan. “Of course, those fines will be paid in full. Would you prefer the money to be delivered here in gold pieces, or for it to be paid now, partially in platinum?”

“Now, preferably.” The Warden said. “The promise of money is worthless to me.”

“Understandably,” Cassie smiled at the man before she turned to Keyleth. “May I have my bag, please?”

“Of course, Lady Cassandra.” Keyleth said, dutifully passing the satchel back to Cassie.

The Warden watched them, as Cassie dug out a coin purse, and quickly counted the contents.

“Here is eighty hundred, for your trouble and discretion.” Cassie said, holding out the coin purse to the Warden. She waited patiently for the Warden to count out the money, and smiled at him brightly when the Warden stood up, gathering a set of keys as he did so.

“Wait here.” The Warden said, leaving with a few guards in tow.

Keyleth put her hand on Cassie’s shoulder and Cassie just placed her hand on top.

“Scanlan, you are paying me back every single fucking coin the moment we get back to the Keep.” Cassie hissed, keeping her voice low enough so the Clerk didn’t hear.

The guards returned before Scanlan could protest. Kaylie was still in manacles and she scowled as she caught sight of Scanlan.

“You have both my and Whitestone’s gratitude, sir. Really, I cannot thank you enough.” Cassie said, giving the Warden a very sincere smile.

“Well now you have your performer back, I suppose we have no more business here.” The Warden said.

“Of course, and I apologise for the trouble that the gentleman before gave you.” Cassie said. She let Keyleth loop their arms together and walked towards the doors.

Cassie didn’t look back until they had reached the streets and were out of view of the guards.

The facade dropped and Cassie just reached out and let her fall down her back. She barely caught the look on Kaylie’s face as she watched her, before Kaylie looked down at the small marks on her wrists from the manacles.

“Oh god, I forgot how exhausting it is to be that noble.” Cassie muttered to herself. She looked over at Scanlan, then glanced at Kaylie.

“Why’d you do that?” Kaylie spoke up, a crease in her brow as she met Cassie’s gaze. Cassie shrugged.

“After recent revelations, I’m making an effort to be kinder.” Cassie said simply. “Well now that’s sorted, you two need to have a conversation. We’ll meet you back at the Keep.”

With that, Keyleth and Cassie left and began to walk back home.

 

Cassie remembered the dragons.

She remembered standing in a crowd and watching people disintegrate around her as the dragons terrorised the city. She remembered Keyleth casting a spell and Vex pulling her along by her arm just to make sure they all stayed together.

She remembered seeing the different colours bearing down on them and suddenly feeling so small . So insignificant. So powerless.

As Cassie hugged her knees closer to her that night, tears sliding down her face and a spare cloak wrapped around her for warmth, she remembered.

She clung to the memories as tightly as she could. It was all she had, anymore.

Notes:

I'm queenmoggy on tumblr if you want to say hi <3

I think I wrote the Orthax bits about three times trying to think of a perfect way to have the interaction go. Then I started to think in context. Honestly, as a sixteen year old girl who had everything taken away from her, Cassandra would have felt incredibly powerless, so if Orthax was offering her safety and a way to protect herself and maybe get her home back in the meantime - she would cling to that just to get her through the day.

I also think that with that reasoning, the confrontation with Orthax would hold a bit more weight and pity. idk, it's what I think at least.

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