Chapter Text
There was a common question in the imperial palace. Every now and then, the emperor would call upon his greatest Onmyouji to offer him a spouse. Everyone was expected to get married, whether it be for political or practical reasons. As the Mikado, the emperor would be able to arrange any match.
"Come on, tell me what sort of gal you're into. Since it's Seimei, I'll do what I can to hook you up with the girl of your dreams!" the emperor gushed, greatly resembling a high school girl gossiping about boys from the Reiwa Era.
"Your majesty, please speak in a more period-accurate manner. This is the Heian Era," the advisor reminded.
Seimei hummed, swaying from side to side. "Hmm... What I'm into..." Then he snapped out of his contemplation with cheer. "Nope! I guess the clothes of this era just don't do it for me. Sorry about that."
"Seimei-sama, please remember this is the Heian Era."
"He booked it..."
It's not the first time Seimei has had these sorts of conversations with the emperor but they always lead to the same conclusion. There are plenty of distinguished young ladies and legendary beauties up for marriage with the emperor's most trusted Onmyouji. What prospective young lady wouldn't be interested in a handsome man with money, status, and the ability to command youkai and gods alike?
But alas, said Onmyouji has no interest in any hands in marriage and would much rather spend his free time harassing his shikigami or lording his superiority over his rivals.
Ah! He did have that dream of a really amazing outfit a few nights ago.
Seimei pauses in the middle of the engawa. There's no court official, youkai, god, or human around right now. It was just him.
He turns to his left, towards where the Shinden Garden was. The pond was crystal clear and reflected the azure sky beautifully with its waters. He made his way to the arched wooden bridge and crossed over with light steps. It only took a few minutes for him to reach one of the smaller islands contained in the pond.
The Onmyouji stood in front of a large tree and peeked around the thick trunk. He held his hands behind his back and his eyes were aglow with delight. He could barely contain his excitement.
Upon noticing the Onmyouji, the little figure exclaimed brightly, "Seimei!"
"Fufu~" Seimei smiled. "Did you get lost again, Haruaki-kun?"
It's not that Seimei is omniscient or anything. Not even he would have the ego to claim to be all-knowing. It's just that he happens to know more than the average individual. It's not his fault he's blessed by divination. He can't help it if he sees things that most wouldn't.
Seimei has a lot of qualities about himself that set him apart from the masses. Those qualities make the world around him rather...dull.
He does enjoy quarreling with Douman and entertaining his demands for a rematch. The forever foul mouthed twat just doesn't know when to give up. But that's part of why Seimei enjoys messing with him so much. He can only hope Douman will be able to endure his curse and the blame for his death for the next millennia.
Byakko's loyalty is much appreciated, as are the other Four Gods'. Seimei values all of his Shikigami, gods, and youkai alike. They help him protect humans from the more malicious spirits after all.
Suzaku is a tricky fellow. He's terribly sharp despite his worldly desires being in reign most of the time. He's going to build up a lot of resentment once Seimei's dead but that's alright. Inadequacy and grief make for a dreadful cocktail of resentment.
See?
Although he's imaginably strong, Seimei is surrounded by lots of people. He knows them very well. He knows what's going to happen to them even after his passing.
"I got lost on a school trip today. My class was supposed to go to Nagoya but I got lost chasing a sailor uniform and ended up in Kyoto. I met these two scary delinquents but they were actually pretty nice and we helped a little boy find his big brother! Mii-kun even gave me this lucky charm!" Haruaki rambled on excitedly.
Seimei chuckled softly. He plucked the omamori and gave it a look. He can sense residual spirit energy in it. He hands it back. "Remember to keep that charm on your person. It'll guide you through a scary fire in the future."
"Mm!" Haruaki voiced. He continued his story as he tied the omamori to his bag. "Ame was shouting my name from the top of Kyoto Tower. He was bawling so much that he wouldn't let go of me until we got home. Mom and Dad had to physically pry him off of me."
Hearing Haruaki's stories was one of the few pleasures Seimei shamelessly indulges in. Haruaki's appearances in the Heian Era are few and far between. Ever the opportunist, Seimei hogged as much of Haruaki's presence as he could before the youth would inevitably go home. It wasn't like anyone had the power to reprimand the strongest Onmyouji.
Seimei pulled out a paper doll and infused a bit of spirit energy into it. A second later, a giant bakeneko appeared. Seimei made himself comfortable on the bakeneko's bellow, happily sinking into the ball of fluff.
He peered at Haruaki from the corner of his eye, waiting in anticipation.
Haruaki huffed theatrically but joined the Onmyouji on the bakeneko. He's not used to climbing giant animal youkai so Seimei had to help him on.
The sun set a long time ago so there was only the endless darkness dotted by the vast blanket of stars. Without the light pollution of the future, the firmament looked far more breathtaking. The stars were flowing so vividly, how could Haruaki not be captivated?
Yet Seimei was not looking at the constellations.
"It's not fair that you never stay for long," Seimei sighed.
"Hm?" Haruaki perked up. He turned his head to face the other. "Well, I guess I can stay with you until morning then. It's a school night and mom wouldn't mind if I explained things to her."
That was such a cruel response but Haruaki isn't even aware of his heartlessness.
Haruaki is going to leave. He always does and Seimei has to wait until the crossroad of their eras collide again. His divination is impressive but not even he can foresee everything that will take place. If he could...
Seimei adjusts his position so he's lying on his side, fully turned to Haruaki. He doesn't touch the youth. Sometimes, his fingers are able to curl around soft flesh and twist strands of silky hair. Those moments are when Seimei is happiest.
The worst is when Seimei tries to touch Haruaki's cheek only to have him dissipate. It tears his heart and makes his throat go dry. He would scream but that's not who he is. He simply hates how painful it is to chase mirages.
Haruaki stares at Seimei for a few seconds before turning his attention back to the stars. The Big Dipper was particularly eye-catching.
"Seimei should be more honest with himself," he said.
"...Is that so?"
"Mmhm. I'm sure if you opened your heart more, people will understand you and you'll make lots of friends."
"I am surrounded by enough people."
"...Is that so?"
"Mmhm. Besides, I have Haruaki-kun. That's enough for me."
By morning, the sun rises to cast its warmth across the land. The bakeneko's body heat makes for a good heat generator. A stray nekomata even joins them. But Seimei is still inexplicably cold. The area by his side is empty. He can't help but weep at the loss in his sleep. When Suzaku shakes him awake, he makes up some dream about losing to Douman.
He misses Haruaki already.
Reincarnation is...hard to describe. Dying wasn't pleasant; that much was to be expected. Seimei was always going to die. Douman burdening himself with the blame was unfortunate but those feelings would drive him to change the world of youkai for the better so Seimei can't say he felt too bad.
Yomi isn't as dreadful as the poets and artists painted. Certainly, some parts of Yomi can be gloomy, but the afterlife isn't so terrible. Depending on the time of year, the boundaries between the living world and the underworld are especially enjoyable.
For the last thousand years, Seimei has been merely strolling along the terrain of the departed, occasionally accompanied by a procession of youkai. He isn't particularly moved by anything in the afterlife. He'll find something interesting from time to time but nothing that really fascinates him.
Seeing Haruaki again was the only thing that made the monotony less bleak.
The afterlife was filled with color and sounds the same way the living world was but to Seimei, it was all...dull. Colors seemed muted, sounds were muffled. Moments passed without leaving any lasting impression. Everything was just stagnant.
But the thought of seeing Haruaki again somehow made that stagnation move. Having someone to look forward to made the monotony bearable. The anticipation was a steady comfort.
Their soul - the one Seimei and Haruaki shared, the one that tied them so inextricably - has already moved onto Samsara. Haruaki will be born and-
Oh, he's adorable.
It had been raining when Haruaki's mother went into labor. The rain had stopped by the time Amaaki was delivered but it was like the sun personally came out to welcome Haruaki. Perhaps Seimei was glamorizing it but he never denied having a bias.
The clouds were thinned out by the sun and any lingering grey was soon dispersed. Warmth seeped into the hospital room, bathing even the shadows in its embrace.
Logically, the rainstorm had doused the room in greyscale and when it was no longer raining, it's natural for colors to be more saturated. But to Seimei, it was Haruaki himself who made the world all the more brilliant to behold.
"Hello again, Haruaki-kun," Seimei whispers, unable to stop the smile from crinkling his eyes. His chest was just so impossibly full.
With his soul already in another vessel, all that remains of Seimei is his personality, memories, and psyche. His spirit is in Yomi and his soul belongs to Haruaki. Stuck between the two worlds, Seimei can traverse the boundaries more easily than most. His clairvoyance also helps him keep an eye on Haruaki.
Sadly, with Seimei's spirit in Yomi, he can only periodically interact with Haruaki. On the other hand, simply keeping an eye on his other self is far less challenging. He's no different than a harmless ghost!
Seimei has no persisting grudge to pursue. Even if he was a vengeful spirit, he would still rather shadow Haruaki's waking and sleeping moments. It's such a shame he can't watch him every second of the day but Seimei isn't going to be ungrateful.
The first time Seimei met Haruaki in the modern era, Haruaki was freshly born. Seimei spent six days cooing and fawning over how adorable Haruaki was. He had only ever met the other as a youth until then. His only misgiving was not being able to take photographs into Yomi.
The next time Seimei saw Haruaki again, the boy was five and exorcised his first youkai. To be more accurate, their onmyoudo reacted to the shunoban and exorcised the thing before Haruaki ever realized it existed in the first place. Ignorant of his powers, the boy grabbed his twin to check out a cute sailor uniform on television.
Haruaki wouldn't learn about youkai until twenty years later when he becomes a teacher at Douman's school. Seimei entertained himself with knowing that little tidbit for weeks. There is so much he knows but hasn't seen yet.
Due to their onmyoudo, any youkai Haruaki encounters would just be exorcised before he even realized it. So Haruaki's parents and twin never had the opportunity to inform him of his powers. It would be like trying to prove the existence of Santa Claus without having Santa Claus there.
Although the blame for Haruaki's naïveté couldn't be solely blamed on their exorcism powers and lack of evidence. Seimei himself also had a hand in making sure Haruaki remained oblivious.
"My mistake, Haruaki-kun. The sparrow turned out to be a maple leaf," Seimei said apologetically.
"Oh..." Haruaki looked down in disappointment.
"Let's look for birds this way, hm?" Seimei suggested casually.
At the suggestion, Haruaki's mood brightened almost instantly. He quickly ran in the direction Seimei gestured towards, completely unaware of the smoking remains of the sukima-onna.
There wasn't much Seimei could do to the physical world. At the end of the day, he's a spirit. He can't exactly rip out the throats of offending youkai. Fortunately, he's still able to use onmyoudo even as a spirit albeit it's nowhere near the caliber of his living self.
When Seimei is around, he'll exorcise any youkai that comes near Haruaki. He's not a barbarian. As long as those ayakashi are far away, Seimei has no reason to hunt them down. But when Seimei can't manifest in the living world, Haruaki would unconsciously respond and smite all youkai.
As much as Seimei would like to protect Haruaki 24/7, he can't. So he supposes the indiscriminate cleansing was the best compromise.
It's not just youkai Seimei would like to protect Haruaki from.
Humans too.
Amaaki deserves praise for his diligent protection. Brute he may be, but let it be known that he never let any delinquents so much as touch Haruaki. He was the confrontational sort of person whereas Haruaki was far more timid in nature.
Being timid isn't a bad thing though. Seimei liked how shy Haruaki was. It made his vivacious moments that much more endearing. He knew that in a few years, Haruaki would meet many new people who would encourage his character growth. All sorts of individuals would flock to Haruaki one day, drawn to his brightness just like Seimei was.
Those coworkers and students would one day become very important to Haruaki. Seimei had taken steps to ensure Haruaki wouldn't miss out on any of them, hence why he chose to seal the Shutendouji away instead of slaying it.
For now, though, Haruaki is Seimei's to monopolize.
Perhaps it is because of their shared soul but Seimei always had a knack for locating Haruaki. Back when he was alive, he would feel a light tug underneath his skin. It was a delicate yet rooted sensation that never failed to leave the Onmyouji giddy.
Haruaki's talent for getting lost isn't troublesome in the least. Seimei found it amusing and engaging. He enjoyed looking for Haruaki when he was alive. Finding the youth was like earning a reward.
As a child, Haruaki could see ghosts and other things that couldn't be viewed by the naked eye. Children are more perceptive to the supernatural, and Haruaki can be terrifyingly sharp.
Seeing ghosts like Seimei was typical. Some ghosts may have a less-than-child-friendly appearance but they're harmless for the most part. There are the sporadic malevolent specter but Seimei handles them in the background. Beyond just sight, he could even come in physical contact with ghosts depending on the time of year.
But as Haruaki grew older, he grew further and further away from the occult. He couldn't hold Seimei's hand as he walked home from school like he used to. Conversations became more and more sparse. Frequent encounters would turn into chance glimpses.
Seimei would be a liar if he said he didn't miss Haruaki's attention. Ahh, he must have been spoiled from having Haruaki to himself for so long.
Would he be childish for being jealous of his living self? He knows that Haruaki got lost again and wandered into the Heian Era. Whatever Seimei's past self is experiencing is no different from what he remembers.
Logically, Seimei has nothing to be jealous of, much less of anything his past self has. Having such petty feelings would be pointless. But it doesn't stop him from feeling a bit sour.
Humans are a pack species. They rely on connection and community to thrive. Haruaki is human. There is kitsune blood running through his veins, however diluted it may be from a thousand years of lineage, but Haruaki is undoubtedly far more human than Seimei could ever hope to be.
If not for Amaaki's overprotective nature and Seimei's own greed, Haruaki would be taking centerstage of every production. Haruaki has an aptitude for pulling in the people around him. He's so blissfully blind to his charms that it's maddening at times.
They share the same kanji for their names. As with their soul, physical likeness, and onmyoudo, their names are also mirror replicas simply given different pronunciations. However, Seimei is of the opinion that Haruaki wears their name better.
Haruaki is like the sun. He burns so brilliantly that anyone within his orbit gets consumed by his warmth and light. Yearning with seeking hands, yet never able to grasp the sun. The only fate that awaits those who fly too close to the sun was to burn and disappear into the winds as ash.
For Seimei, Haruaki was someone who was born to be loved. Just by being around him could Seimei remember how easy it was to be happy. As long as Haruaki could continue smiling without blemish, then Seimei was content.
The Onmyouji closed his eyes as he felt his smile grow into something more genuine.
"Hold it," he said aloud, soft and genteel and hopelessly fond. He opened his eyes and found Yomi to be unsurprisingly luminous. "Don't step onto this bridge."
He steps away from the process of youkai, edging closer and closer to the perimeter that separated the living world and Yomi.
"Hello, Haruaki-kun," Seimei smiled, gaze soft and tender.
There's no response, not even a facial twitch. That was to be expected. Haruaki only had two pieces of their soul at the moment. He'll get his usual glow back once those students and coworkers of his collect the other pieces.
Although seeing him so listless and somber was...unpleasant. Seimei prefers Haruaki whole and healthy.
He already knew this would happen. Byakko's desperate ploy to revive him, Susanoo's tantrum and the ensuing consequences, Douman's intervention... Seimei knows how this whole fiasco is going to end. So he'll have to play his part in this too, for Haruaki.
"Right now, because the balance of the Four Gods has been broken, the line between the living world and Yomi in Kyoto has been blurred. So I'm able to meet you like this," Seimei explained. One more step and he'll be off the bridge. One more step and he'll be next to Haruaki. He stays where he is; close but not enough.
They don't have to physically meet for Seimei to know how Haruaki is doing. Even though he's in Yomi most of the time, he's always kept an eye out for Haruaki's well-being. His preoccupation with Haruaki practically has him abusing his clairvoyance.
"But I really am happy to see you," Seimei smiled. Their breaths are close enough to mix. If it were up to him, he would like to keep Haruaki in this border for a bit longer. Sadly, he'll have to put his selfishness aside. Since his other half came all this way to see him, he'll send him to Susanoo to make the journey easier. Haruaki gets lost so easily~ "Well then, let's meet again when your soul is complete."
Separating from Haruaki is still as herculean of a task as it was a thousand years ago. They'll see each other soon enough in Byakko's pocket dimension, when the piece of soul carrying Haruaki's memories learn what happened to the Shutendouji and what lengths-
Oh!
That's right.
"Please give my regards to Suzaku and Douman."
When it came to friends, Haruaki could confidently say most of his social life is drier than the Atacama Desert. It's a depressing thing to be confident about but Haruaki isn't one to let his empty calendar bug him.
Plus, he has friends now! It's taken him twenty five years to befriend someone other than Amaaki and his imagination but he did it! His parents were so happy that they cooked up auspicious red rice and nearly rented three buses to invite the entire extended family to celebrate.
It was a tad embarrassing but Haruaki is just glad his parents approve of his friends and career. Amaaki used to worry so much whenever he brought up his imaginary friend after middle school.
Ame never corrected him until then and their parents played along too! How was he supposed to know imaginary friends didn't count as real friends? In his defense though, Haruaki genuinely thought Doujimaru was real!
The imaginary friend Haruaki had introduced himself as "Abe no Sukune no Seimei". It was a very impressive but long-winded name, so Kid-Haru asked for something he could actually pronounce which led to Doujimaru and Seimei.
Haruaki still remembers how as a child running errands for his mom, Seimei would hold his hands as he crossed busy streets. And the times when they streamed scary movies and cheesy animes together. And all the praise and advice Seimei gave him when he practiced for kyudo tournaments. And so, so, so much more!
Maybe Kid-Aki just had a super active imagination? And as Haruaki grew, he gave his imaginary friend his face but in a Heian Era kariginu cosplay since he's too unoriginal to make up anything creative?
However, the Ancestor Seimei acted a lot like his imaginary friend. It was pretty reassuring, all things considered.
The few times Haruaki met his ancestor and previous incarnation, the onmyouji came off as super wise, reliable, and powerful. He was also kind and patient with Haruaki's many less-than-palatable personality traits. Despite Seimei's larger-than-life presence and overwhelming might, Haruaki never once thought he would be hurt.
"And you still...sometimes see this imaginary friend of yours...?" Sano chose his words carefully.
The teacher nodded. "Mmhm! It's been a long time but he's not gone. When I went to visit Miki-sensei's home, there was a small procession taking place. Doujimaru was there and he waved at me."
"Uh huh..."
"I used to get lost pretty often when I was a young, way more than I do now, but my friend would keep me company until I got home." Haruaki suddenly clapped his hands. "Ah! I think he was a cosplayer too."
"Why would you make up an imaginary friend who dresses in cosplay..."
"Sano-kuuun, don't be mean. I was young."
It would be nice though, to see Seimei again. He misses him.