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Alastor stealthily rose from the shadows, preparing to open his mouth and grace his fellow inhabitants of the Hazbin Hotel with whatever ‘wisdom’ would come forth from his mouth; he hadn’t exactly decided what he was going to say, but he knew that whatever it was would be absolute genius and thus EVERYONE in the hotel needed to hear it. Right now. Ideally before they noticed his presence so he could both get in his ‘good deed’ points with Charlotte for ‘sharing’ and for the sheer, unadulterated joy of scaring the crap out of someone. Potentially multiple someones. Ah, good times indeed. His internal monologue was interrupted by the sheer amount of pink, white, and more than the usual amount of red that assaulted his vision the moment he reformed.
“What is the meaning of this?” Alastor looked like the proverbial deer in the headlights.
“Al! I’m so glad you’re here!” Charlie bounded over to him and hovered in front of him, vibrating with barely contained joy. “It’s Valentine’s Day on Earth, so I thought ‘what better way to connect with each other than share our feelings of love for each other’! So we’ve been putting up hearts and flowers and decorations and getting craft supplies, and we’ll make things for those that we care about! After that, we’ll gather this evening and give each other what we made! Or bought, if someone was busy and couldn’t make it to craft time, but really it’s the thought that counts! After all, today is the PERFECT day to reaffirm important connections in your life, and what better way to show it than a gift from the heart?”
“The hearts aren’t even anatomically correct…” Alastor ignored most of what came out of Charlie’s mouth, choosing to focus first and foremost upon the fact that the hearts were NOT what a human heart looked like. He would know.
“They’re not supposed to be??? It’s just something nice you do for those you love.” Vaggi commented from the ladder where she was hanging the end of a banner up.
“Ah, in which case, surely my presence is not required! I clearly do not have a romantic partner to demonstrate my ‘love’ to!”
“Not everybody does, some people choose to spend the day with other important people in their lives, like their friends or family.”
“That’s right! The important part is to show someone that you care about what’s in your heart!” Charlie interjected with her hands made into a heart over hers.
“How are you supposed to show someone your heart if you aren’t even giving them an accurate model?” Alastor questioned with dismay.
“It’s a figure of speech!” Vaggi groaned.
“It should be more accurate!”
“Not everyone is a serial killer/cannibal!”
“Well, maybe they should be!”
“Enough!” Husk interrupted from the bar. “It’s entirely too fuckin’ early for any of this, and if ya’ll want to keep yellin’ at each other, DO IT OUTSIDE!”
Alastor and Vaggi glared at each other, refusing to back down.
“Okay..! Maybe we can agree to disagree, and whoever you decide to make something for, you can make them an anatomically correct heart, Alastor!” Charlie said too brightly after a moment of awkward silence.
“Oh, Charlotte. I’m simply far too busy today for any of this ‘feelings’ nonsense!”
“You’re too busy for that ‘feelings nonsense’ every day,” Husk muttered while Alastor’s eye twitched.
“Right you are! I have far too many demands on my time; comes with being an Overlord, you know!”
“Riiiiight…” Vaggi rolled her eye and resumed decorating the lobby.
“Well, if that is all, then I shall be taking my-“
“Oh no you don’t! Today is mandatory! Even for staff!” Charlie said brightly.
“You will NOT get me to participate in this… celebration of the mockery of an arterial muscle! I refuse!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“So… who’s getting your ‘arterial muscle’?” Husk asked casually while adding the little spikes on a pink blob on the drawing he was making.
“Shut your mouth, Husker,” Alastor hissed, aggressively hiding what he was working on from view.
“Just sayin’, I know Niff’d LOVE an anatomically correct model of a rat heart,” Husk eyed his piece critically, before grabbing a glue stick and the glitter shaker, taking a moment to close his eyes, gather his resolve, and mutter a “forgive me” before adding more shakes than any piece of paper needed.
“Or a roach heart! OR! A heart MADE of roaches!” Niffty popped up over the top of Alastor’s head. “Aww, it’s Nuggets! Is it for Ms. Angel?”
“It’s nothin’ special,” Husk muttered with a light blush.
Alastor ignored Niffty’s delighted cackle as he focused on his own drawing, still shielding it from view as he scribbled. This was torture; very cruel and unusual, he decided with a huff.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Vox rubbed where the bridge of his nose would be on his screen. On top of managing all the normal bullshit he had to, Velvette had decided to launch an exclusive Valentine’s Day collection and Valentino had released a bunch of films; both demanding updates on sales figures and then immediately fucking off to do whatever they wanted instead of actually doing work with the numbers. It wasn’t like Vox was trying to put together a nice dinner for them to go to tonight or anything, no sir! Vox closed the reservation tab on his browser and sighed deeply into his hands. It’d be fine, he’d get the work done, round up the other Vees and head out for a nice dinner to celebrate, get through the day without thinking of Alastor (much) and then he’d move onto the next thing. It’d be fine.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Now I KNOW you witnessed courting and the like when you were alive, Alastor,” Rosie sipped her tea.
“Can you just tell me what is normally expected so I can fulfill the princess’s request and forget I ever did any of this?” Alastor demanded, ears pinned back.
“Ha! You’ll have to forgive me, sweetie. It’s just so amusing that she’s got you doing what you refused to do decades ago.”
“This means nothing! I’m simply doing this so that Charlotte will stop hounding me and staring at me with those eyes.” Alastor shuddered.
“Well, you’ll have to show me what you have to start with,” Rosie smirked over her cup.
Alastor dutifully produced his drawing, immediately turning and focusing his attention on anything other than Rosie’s growing smile.
“Well, this is definitely a start. A nice card is always appreciated, though a lot of people go with flowers in addition to it. A nice assortment of chocolates or other snack he’d like wouldn’t go amiss as well, though in your case I’d also recommend getting a-“
“On second thought, I really must be-!”
“Sit your ass down, Alastor. This is important. You can’t just dump a bunch of typical courting gifts on Vox and expect things to go exactly as they are now.”
“If I tell him this is only because Charlotte forced me, yes they will.”
“Alastor, you know very well you could’ve chosen any of the rest of them at the hotel and fulfilled the Princess’s request without breaking a sweat. Did she say it had to be a gift for someone you like romantically?”
“No,” he glowered.
“Then you’re the one making it far more difficult that it has to be. You already have the card, if it’s truly just letting someone know you care about them, what you drew is already perfect for the occasion.”
“But it’s not enough!”
“What are you worried about?” Rosie asked gently.
“The minute he sees this, he’s going to just throw it away and then Charlotte will ask how it went and I’ll be forced to tell her I failed, ME! I, the Radio Demon, failed at something as fundamental as telling another being I cared for them and demonstrating it in a way that they understand.”
“Alastor. Sweetie. He will not throw it away. He might pretend to get offended and outraged, but he will definitely keep this and anything else you decide to give him.”
Alastor scoffed into his arms, pouting on the table.
“Like I said, if you’re truly worried about this not being enough, flowers and a snack he likes will go a long way. A little plush shark wouldn’t be amiss as well.”
“But what if he takes this as a courting gesture?”
“Are you really afraid of that? Or are you afraid he won’t?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Vox sat alone at the table in the restaurant, looking at his phone. Velvette had already texted him earlier to let him know she was out celebrating with her design team, though he suspected she just didn’t want to watch Val make out with him all night. Speaking of, Valentino was later than usual, and it took several tries to reach his phone.
“Ayyy, what’s up Voxxy?” Val drawled from what sounded like a club in the background.
“Val, where are you? You were supposed to be at the restaurant an hour ago!”
“Ohhh, sorry Voxxy, change of plans! I’m out at-“ his voice was unintelligible for a moment, “with these girls and we’re having a blast! You should join us!”
“What?? No! I made plans for us tonight!”
“Sorry! What was that? I can’t hear you!” Val shouted into his phone, the background noise deafening.
“Val, come on!” Vox demanded, though anyone watching would say it was pleading.
“Oh! Yes, now this is more like it!” Val laughed. “I’ll see you later, Voxxy~!”
Vox stared at his phone in dismay when he realized that Val had hung up, and that he was alone. In a restaurant. On Valentine’s Day. Fuck his life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Upon returning to his penthouse and disabling the elevator so that no one could bother him for the rest of the night, Vox immediately went to his liquor cabinet and grabbed a bottle, choosing to forgo a glass. Nobody was here to judge him, so he was going to forget for one night about how lonely he felt.
As he took a swig from the bottle, he noticed that there were things on his coffee table that he hadn’t left there; there was a floral arrangement, a rather large plush shark, a bag of gummy sharks, and… a handdrawn card? With a drawing of Shok.wav on it. And himself.
“What the hell…?” He asked himself picking up the card to look at it more closely.
“Apologies, old pal!” An unfortunately familiar voice rang out. “The Princess insisted that today we show our ‘love’ for those around us.”
“Ugh, I’m REALLY not in the mood tonight, Al.” Vox groaned, dropping the card. He took another drink and focused on the table. “You really couldn’t have picked someone at the hotel to bother?”
“Hmm… No! You know I don’t do ‘love’, and thus are perfect to fulfill the request with as you won’t expect all the unfortunate extra nonsense that goes along with today.”
“Great,” Vox deadpanned. “Mission accomplished, you can go now.”
Contrary to Vox’s expectations, Alastor didn’t immediately disappear. “…Apologies again, the flowers are fake; I cannot touch the real ones without them immediately wilting, and I have been reliably told that the arrangements I’d gathered by hand are much better when NOT dead.”
“Doesn’t matter…” Vox said in a low voice, refusing to look at him. “Not like they last anyway.”
Alastor shifted from side to side, uncomfortably. “No, of course they don’t…” he sighed before putting down a couple more things on the table.
“Can you stop putting your random crap in my penthouse?” Vox demanded angrily.
“Really now! I went out of my way to wish you a Happy Valentine’s Day, and none of it is good enough for you? Fine! But in answer to your question, no I don’t think I will stop leaving ‘random crap’ in your apartment!” Alastor huffed, before going silent.
“Ugh!” Vox turned to look at him, only to realize that he’d finally left. Looking at what else Alastor had put on the table, he realized there was a second card and a completely dead bouquet of flowers. Scoffing, he looked at the front (which had an anatomically correct heart on it) before opening it. The inside contained another anatomically correct heart, but instead of being colored correctly, it was color coded in sections of varying sizes, with a guide on the inside cover. The thing that made him pause though, was the large, blue section labelled quite simply “Vincent”.
Well then. Tomorrow Vox was going to ignore whatever Val and Vel wanted and march straight over to the Hotel himself and then maybe he’d either fight, get some answers, or make out with Alastor for several hours. In the meantime, he had some last minute shopping to do; it wouldn’t do to let the Radio Demon outdo him when it came to courting each other.