Chapter Text
LIBERIO | MARLEY | YEAR 854
The radiant light of a dark sky in Marley gracefully touched the port of Liberio, the stars shone subtly on that cold and reflective night, the sky melted, crossing the sea and the moon.
A pair of young hazel-brown eyes shone with flashes that seemed to make them see beyond the curtain of waves that stretched across the horizon; his formal shoes, once polished, were now stained with white sand; his coat hugged him as if it had been made for him, for perhaps it was, a distant gift from his mother that he had preserved until now, warm and with an extravagant design but ideal for not looking like a heretic.
Steam rose from his breath as he seemed to merge with the landscape. He could feel his hands freezing from the harsh air of that country. From there, things seemed distant, and indeed they were. Distance now separated him from his family, his crazy, cold family.
Now he felt the weight of their lives on his shoulders, as if something depended on him exclusively for them to remain alive.
In their ignorant eyes, he was still the child who, by sheer luck, had those who fought his battles when he was still too weak to defend himself, the rat that crawled out of the sewer. Now, he longed to repay that effort, all that extraordinary effort that shaped his existence.
Her black hair moved in the breeze, while her pupils focused beyond that unknown port.
Some rats were lucky, lucky to live, to slip away among a crew that would transport them to the other side of the world, with the simple goal of surviving, wandering like thieves, hidden among new alleyways.
His fists clenched until his knuckles turned white; his father would hate that comparison of a depressed philosopher with a savior complex. His mother would simply remain silent, then laugh at how absurd it sounded to see herself reflected in a mere rat, before proceeding to list all the differences between humans and sewer vermin.
A conjecture of his lip curled humorously; it was useless to think about that now, for he had already made his own decision and escaped his responsibilities with his suicidal friend, leaving Paradis behind, betraying his own and deserting the legion, with a goal greater than any of them, a sacrifice that would make sense, perhaps not today nor soon, maybe someday when everything is destroyed and he can escape so far from his nightmares that torment him, even when he is still innocent.
He sighed heavily, closing his eyelids lightly, captivated by the sound of the water coming from the coast, the smell of life emanating from the sea, letting these thoughts dissolve with his heavy thoughts.
He doubted his morality; at this point, he just wanted to collapse in the chapel and beg for forgiveness, but he was too proud to cry right now. People would judge him, they would call him insane, and he wouldn't have forgiven himself for revealing the only salvation he had.
Her heart had a hole, as deep as the ocean, as bothersome as sand, which no matter how much you removed it, would always end up seeping into the most unexpected places. Her secret was a sentence of madness, inherited from her mother, and brutality in protecting her own, an emotional trait she shared with her father, beyond the physical, even though their resemblance was undeniable.
I thought that the beach at that hour of the night would take away her guilt and bury it in the abyss of its waters.
Instead, the fleeting peace took him on a painful journey through memories, confessions, and secrets that were buried, not in Marley, nor halfway there, nor could they even be witnessed by the walls of Paradis.
His first steps, his first breaths happened meters underground, by accident, without completed plans that he had to review, nor purposes beyond what he was.
Very remote, buried underground, shrouded in complications, without sunlight or a refreshing breeze to fill their lungs.
Even flowers can bloom far from the stream, without water, without light, convinced of their existence…
MITRAS | UNDERGROUND CITY | YEAR 836
The underground has always been cruel to her, keeping her captive during the height of her career as a scientist. She had been informed of her promotion to squad leader, survived expeditions for three years, watching her companions die, almost going with them in the process.
At some point, Hange had everything she wanted most; her life was full of adventure, survival, and the scientific life she loved so much.
It was perfect…
But now I was here, many meters underground in every possible way.
The cool, refreshing breeze from the surface never reached the underground; the walls of that pit in which she was trapped smelled of mud with some kind of fetid fragrance that made her feel more nauseous than necessary.
There was no light in that confined space, only darkness and a feeling of suffering that could be inhaled from a distance.
Death, disease, and cold. These were her competitors, the ones that would kill her if she continued in the deplorable conditions she was in. But the one leading the charge was hunger, which made her stomach rumble for immediate food, not to mention the dehydration and the horrible back pain that coursed through her spine from being in such a cramped space for days on end.
She tried to console herself by saying things like "I've been through worse" or "At least I'm still breathing," although the last sentence was depressing... she still had a lot to live for, now more than ever.
An eighteen-year-old girl trying to survive underground and recently becoming a prisoner in a cramped pit that caused her a certain claustrophobia. Breathing had become difficult and the icy air seeped deep into her bones, doing everything possible to keep her body warm, wrapping her arms around herself, covering what she had come to love so much.
How she ended up locked in a pit, underground, and trapped by underground thugs was a complicated story, one that even she didn't fully understand.
She leaned against the damp earth that surrounded her, placing her hands on her rounded belly. She was slender, she always had been, until exactly eight months ago. Her body had changed throughout that time, watching that little belly grow little by little.
Eight months of changes, but a little over a full year underground.
— More than a year…— She murmured to herself, leaning her back against the damp earth, tired of trying to get out so many times that she had lost count.
It was disconcerting.
She closed her eyelids with a certain nostalgia, a little resignation, and some mud stains on her cheeks.
— This is going to take some time.— She focused on the firm bulge of her belly, tenderly placing her hand on it — how about a story?
The temple-like silence in the atmosphere, Hange did not expect that life that lived inside her to respond with words, but for the most part, movements were the most entertaining way that assured her that, at least, that baby was listening to her.
Her eyes opened again, with that gleam that screamed madness and tenacity, that impulse not to give up, not now, even if she didn't get any answer, even though her worry was escalating greatly and her eyes wanted to release tears, she smiled gently, with words stuck in her throat.
Hange bit her cheek internally, trying to come to her senses, to not explode amidst hormones and her own madness.
She sighed, hugging her stomach longingly, protecting it as if it were the most important vestige of her entire career, of her entire life.
Her brown strands of hair covered her face, barely revealing her expression, a mixture of fear and sadness. A laugh escaped her unexpectedly; even if her heart was breaking, she had to carry on, to endure. Her expression softened as she adjusted her posture, gently stroking her belly.
Her mind traveled far, too far, to a happy childhood full of comforts that few achieved within Wall Sina, a strict path that, since she became aware, she was willing to leave with the promise of knowledge and understanding of what surrounds her, beyond the rules and appearances within the walls full of hypocritical people. She found a way out, she took it and ended up in the Survey Corps, one of the only exits that, although extremely risky, was promising and liberating enough to take the risk.
I considered starting with that ending, but they were troublesome memories that stirred up feelings he preferred to keep buried until further notice.
I raise my head, looking towards the exit of the deep well, wishing I were a little more agile, lighter or stronger so I could get out without the earth crumbling in my hands.
She focused again on her swollen belly, and how happy she would be to feel some sign of…life. She didn't want to focus on that, but it was impossible for a myriad of jumbled ideas not to run through her complicated mind.
— I was riding around Wall Sina, the news I received that morning was wonderful — the conjectures rose from his lips in a sincere smile, tilting his head — It seems that surviving three years in constant danger and with a thirst for knowledge can end up making you a squad member at such a young age, was that it, or perhaps, we needed personnel who had more than just muscle among the ranks of the legion.
The lenses of his glasses gleamed wildly. He thought of the Titans, of the danger, of how his entire short life had been spent on the edge of a sword, even now, though he regretted involving his son in it. But, keeping in mind his fascination with the Titans, what he had begun to discover, given that there was still a vast range of them that remained a mystery, a strange smile spread across his face in the silence of that hole.
His worn-out passion, which for a moment had been allowed to unfold in such circumstances, with a thunderous laugh that could surely be heard from afar, went out like lightning, as if something were reconnecting after some technical failures.
—Sometimes I get carried away a bit, don't you think? — I said, regretting thinking this was a good time to talk about obsessions — It's just… THE TITANS ARE SIMPLY INCREDIBLE!
She screamed in an unprecedented way, as if in that simple phrase she brought out months of theories that no one else understood as well as she did; she could be heard, also respected, but it was rare that she had the complete attention of a living being for more than two minutes, because when she spoke about this subject, she was unstoppable.
— I suspect some of them are as old as the walls themselves, so their metabolism and energy levels must allow them to have a system that's mostly immune to many things, besides regenerating with phenomenal speed, making them long-lived creatures, though apparently without a dictated purpose beyond devouring humans, even if that doesn't provide them with any real sustenance. Although they lack any mating instinct and reproductive organs, they seem to be endless. Do you think someone beyond the wall created them in exorbitant numbers? I think about that a lot sometimes; I think they're truly amazing. They must be hiding some secret.— I declare, believing deep within my being, that I am not alone in this conversation — When you get out of there, at least I'll have a partner listening to all this unnecessary information; you won't have many options to escape, at least not in the first few years
— You're going to listen to the crazy Titans lady, right?— She whispered between herself and the little fingers that were gently tapping her stomach.
I manage a slight smile, even if I didn't get the answer I wanted.
— I hope you don't like direct and cutting things; that would come from the other side of your DNA.— She rolled her eyes humorously — Okay, where were we?
The scientist reflected, placing her hand on her chin, finally remembering.
— Of course! Veraz, your mother rode confidently, checking the perimeter all along Sina, her noble steed galloping at full speed, while I smiled from ear to ear at my new appointment— I speak energetically, making elaborate gestures, until her smile briefly weakened, huffing at what was coming next — I don't recommend riding at full speed while sketching an elaborate design of an abnormal titan. I may have strayed from the path to the barracks, and I may have lost track of time, but suddenly my horse stopped abruptly and I was thrown from its back into a ditch. I don't know how I survived, although… I suppose your mother's stubbornness isn't easy to break. Although I dislocated my shoulder and got a cut on my temple, it's nothing serious.
Instinctively touching his shoulder, gently rubbing it with the delicacy he had acquired in recent months.
— It was a hard blow, and just like now, I couldn't climb, much less with a shoulder in that state. I gave up after a few hours, walked through what seemed to be a gigantic tunnel that connected to many more, until I got here— I manage a lopsided smile, listening to the faint sounds of the underground city, the brief murmurs I sometimes hear, the smell of damp earth emanating from it
— I survived alone for a while, until I realized that the underground city respected those born there, while intruders were discarded, for simply surviving in these conditions is a sign of strength—she declared, letting the tension in her shoulders fall—I had to run for my life a few times, and since I didn't have enough money to get the thugs to let me go up the stairs to the surface, I resigned myself to the fact that, perhaps, I would never go up again. Is someone still following my trail? I don't know, although that would be some consolation.
With one hand, he took off his glasses, squinting as he cleaned the lenses.
— I met Isabel shortly afterwards; she helped me when my world was literally falling apart.— Hange thought of the redhead who found her on the verge of collapse, who had helped her to her feet and provided her with resources in the lair — Then Furlan came, very cautious. My Legion uniform didn't exactly inspire confidence in anyone in the whole place; apparently, they hate anyone connected to the government.
—And then…— Hange’s gaze dropped to the floor of the well, dirty, muddy, and in the most unhygienic condition. She chuckled. —Your clean freak father wouldn’t be able to stand seeing me here.
A giggle escaped her lips as she recalled many things. Levi's judgmental gaze when he saw her sitting at his table, her clothes in tatters and dirt stains on her hands, touching the teacup Isabel had kindly given her—her teacup.
Their eyes met, she looked at him with amazement, scientific efficiency analyzing a prospect of neat appearance and short stature.
He, on the other hand, looked at her with repulsion, an intruder sitting at the edge of his table, dirty, possibly from the surface, a member of the reconnaissance legion, a potential danger.
That pair of blue-gray eyes that narrowed with judgment.
Moments after that raw surprise encounter, there were arguments, something about rules that Isabel broke by taking her to her hiding place, threats to kick her out of there, and a tough encounter of tenacious stares that even now, Hange boasts of winning.
— At first it was difficult, very difficult; gaining that dwarf's trust was the most frustrating thing I've ever done.— Hange explained to herself — I still can't wrap my head around how I went from "a dangerous stranger" to this…
I gaze eloquently at her heavy belly, which stole her breath with every passing minute.
They say great gestures are demonstrated through actions, and that was the relationship Hange and Levi showed each other. At first, words were heavy; a very talkative woman toying with the patience of a stoic man with narrow, intense eyes. Hange's actions, however, made the burden lighter, proving her to be a key player and not just a missing link on the surface. She proved her worth, earned his trust, and finally convinced Levi with extravagant and complicated reasons that elicited the occasional smile from him—a rare occurrence.
The everyday gradually became a comfortable feeling, allowing both of their walls to crumble with ideal gestures and enough time alone to end up in inevitable situations, unusual touches, incomprehensible fights and in the end, caresses that led them to a point of no return.
— I suppose the circumstances were right for it to happen —She admitted, without looking at anything in particular, but letting out what she needed to say from her chest, "I confess I never foresaw this, none of this. I'm sure your father didn't think all these events would unfold this way either."
A pang of self-pity filled her chest as she thought how foolish she sounded saying that. Alone, with one of her only blessings in that hole, telling her it was a mistake. It wasn't her goal, but she swore she'd never regret anything, for it had been an adventure beyond mere suicidal expeditions and scientific experiments, a new dream she never felt she wanted until she was already there.
— Forgive me, little one— I whisper to her belly — You have to hold on a little longer.
Some footsteps were heard approaching the well; she fantasized that those footsteps belonged to someone she knew, someone who would help her in that moment of vulnerability.
To her own dismay, they were the same ones who had thrown her in that place.
The stupid smiles on his face disgusted Hange. If only she were at her best and wearing the three-dimensional maneuvering gear, she would gag those idiots who had kidnapped her and held her captive, hoping to gain some benefit from Levi.
— Is she still alive? Incredible! That will give us more points — said an old man smoking a pipe, smiling slyly.
Inside the well, Hange's knuckles clenched tightly until they turned white, her expression became serious, and her body immediately reconfigured itself into defense mode.
— I was collecting on a favor and we got gold— I speak maliciously, approaching the edge of the well.
— Hey girl, that boy is still alive, right? — Those words made Hange's jaw clench tightly. Her shoulders showed the tension as she instinctively tried to stay in the shadows of the well — It had better be that way. I'm sure our dear Levi will do anything to get that thing back.