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He had many misgivings about coming back to this place, but Zrise had insisted. Still, now that the manor and its grounds were in Lariel’s care it turned out a pleasant surprise.
The heavy curtains and oppressive, dark-hued furniture had been cleared out in favor of floral tones and open spaces. Gauzy drapes let in a balmy late summer breeze from the wide-open windows. All that remained from before were the harp and the piano he remembered all too well from the day of his tense visit.
With a slow gesture she pointed out to the water where a few birds floated lazily on the surface, “Whatever wards were placed here have faded without my grandfathers upkeep.”
“Maybe we can reprise our duet,” he suggested as Lariel led him to the west window that looked out over the chapel and the pond. Left untended for the summer, the garden was reclaiming its wild beauty from the severe shears of the Aldonlel gardeners.
All Lariel needed was to keep him occupied for some time. Giving Siavash a sideways glance out of the corner of her eye she smiled, “I’d love that. It was my first after all.”
He sometimes forgot how isolated she’d been all her life. Caged and collared, with walls and wards to keep her not so much safe as obedient. And now at last she was free, but he had imposed a different sort of burden on her.
When it became clear as he worked shoulder-to-shoulder with Areelu Vorlesh that this ultimate mythic transformation would spread to his companions and drag them along with him into ascension to divinity, he hadn’t had time to give much thought to how they would feel about that. Most had taken it in stride, and some even embraced it. Of those who objected, Lariel and Seelah were the most vocal. Well, Seelah was vocal. Lariel withdrew into silent horror.
The guilt weighed between his shoulder blades. He wanted to cough it out but he was afraid to raise the subject.
“The first of many, I hope.”
He wasn’t one to linger in silence with her. The turmoil that stirred under the surface between them remained hidden for Zrise’s sake today. So she offered an olive branch of conversation.
“Ah that reminds me. Has Zrise shown you his old bedroom? Our family didn’t take anything from our wing, so I left it as it was .” Lariel paused a moment before adding, "Oh! But don't worry, you won't be staying there tonight."
“He didn’t mention it.” Now that she gave him some hope they could patch things up, or at least pretend to, Siavash let out a breath he’d been holding. “Almost as if he forgot about it himself.”
Or Zrise was avoiding facing too much of the past on this visit. But painful wounds needed exposure to fresh air, even if it stung. Siavash found he very much wanted a glimpse into Zrise’s childhood and the innocence that was torn away from him so young, the better to soothe the scars that were still hidden.
“Let’s go before he comes back,” he said with a conspiratorial wink.
Lariel led the way past the now empty room that had once been Ordielau's study. Further still past a corner, down and across the hall, her fingertips lingered on the wood paneling of the open door frame as she stared into their old school room. It hadn't been used in years. White sheets and dust covered most of the furniture stacked in the far corner. A few bookshelves still displayed their required reading and the chalkboard's scribbles about decorum from a governess remained. The green wallpaper and dark wood felt less claustrophobic nowadays.
Glancing at Siavash she offered a wistful smile, "This was where we had lessons. Before we got old enough to have separate teachers."
Having seen what his home in Andoran was like Lariel assumed Siavash had no idea as they continued that this was the servants' quarters now. So most of these things her family had deemed worthless to bring with them for their return to Kyonin.
They'd stayed in these rooms well past the appropriate ages. Although they hadn't known any better, and wouldn't have, if maids hadn't whispered about it. She turned the knob and the door slowly creaked open.
The wood floor was so dusty their footprints trailed after their movements. Only the carpet that extended out from under the bed proved a cushion. Untouched by staff, the only person who had dared to tread here in his absence, was Lariel. Zrise's room had a small window to view outside. Though it was mostly roof tile.
His writing desk sat under it. Stacked were a few books he had been reading she never had the heart to return to the library. The Illustrated Garden: Guide to the Inner Sea. Wanderlust: True Stories for Brave Lads and Lasses. Pathfinder Chronicles: Volume 27.
Whatever he had written on the night before his departure had been ripped and torn to shreds. Along with boot and fist shaped holes next to his closet. The stand where he'd kept his old practice swords was knocked over with the scabbards spilling onto the floor. The bed was unmade even still.
The shelf next to it was littered with empty glass bottle blood banks, syringes, and bandages. Before Siriel had made his discovery Zrise required transfusions. And when he was at his most sick he couldn't leave his bed.
A few toys he'd insisted he'd grown out of but kept in his room remained on his dresser. A clockwork dragon. Carved and painted elven soldiers. Some with missing limbs, chipped ears, or broken weapons. In picture frames he had collected some small watercolors Lariel had given him.
Propping one up that had been laying face down, Lariel was greeted by a charcoal drawing she had forgotten about. Ethara had been teaching Lariel about light and shadow and Zrise had been their portrait model. Captured here so life like was her brother, with that same pout as he had now, and in her teacher's hand. She couldn't help but halt.
Siavash too stopped in his tracks. With those hunted eyes and pleading lips, the drawing was unmistakably Zrise, though softened with the freshness and wildness of youth. Of all the pictures, this was the only one that had been turned face down. Siavash imagined him slamming it to the dresser-top, unable to look at his own likeness.
Much like his family, who could hardly bear to look at him either. To his stepfather, he was a humiliation, living proof of Thohan’s impotence. To Valondriel, he was a threat, a younger brother who grew too fast and strong. To his mother… He would have been much younger yet when she tried to rid herself of him. With a shudder Siavash glanced at the window, but the pond was not visible from here.
An unwanted child desperate to make up for his deficiencies. The burden of his illness, the dreams of freedom. This place had been a cage for him too. And while Lariel withdrew, Zrise lashed out. Mostly at himself.
And then the family sent him away, surely not much older than he was in the portrait, as an adolescent whose only knowledge of the real world had come from the Pathfinder Chronicles, and what he found was more cruelty. More withheld love.
Lariel’s warning, I left it as it was, hadn’t prepared Siavash for the still-life of Zrise’s last moments in his childhood home, so unmissed that when he was gone the servants didn’t even bother tidying up.
Running his fingers over the dusty toy dragon, Siavash turned away from Lariel to hide the emotion. Why would he want to come back here?
Staring in Siavash's direction. Lariel was not as phased despite finding it a bit sad that her brother had left it all behind and forgotten. So she turned towards Siavash and tried to lighten the mood, because he was awfully quiet.
“I’ll keep this one. He probably won’t notice. Oh!”
Shuffling over towards the closet door she swung the doors wide and walked in. Spying the boxes and things on the floor leaning against the wall. She started to rummage through.
“I was thinking, if any of our belongings are still in good condition, your nieces and nephew might like some of them. Though maybe they are too old fashioned now…”
Briefly she pet the head of an abandoned hobby-horse as if that would comfort it. Finally she found the blanket Zrise had so often used that the edge had frayed where it once dragged along the floor.
Emerging to show it off Lariel held it up. It wasn’t impressive. A simple and now ratty looking piece of cloth and a string. Whatever color it had originally been it was lost to time.
“This one has to stay here, because he might kill me if he knew I showed you this but… this was his cape. Zrise insisted on wearing it after he’d heard a story about a man named Blackjack. He used to run around and climb things just so he could jump off them.”
With a soft laugh that didn’t quite hide an edge of sadness, he touched the old blanket. “Blackjack, mysterious protector of the people. Zrise always was a hero at heart. He and Kyrash have so much in common.”
It was just like Zrise that the clothes were hung up neatly in the closet despite what must have been an emotional evening spent packing. Dust had collected on the shoulders of his shirts. “Most of it can go to the crusade orphans, but Ky would love an old training sword or gambeson.”
I suppose they’re holy relics now, his mind said, but luckily he stopped it from reaching his mouth just in time. She wouldn’t take kindly to the reminder.
“And what role did you play? Did you have a cape too?” It seemed like an idle question, but in truth it wasn’t. Lariel was still a mystery in many ways, and he needed an angle if he was going to win her over again someday.
Lariel shook her head as she quietly chuckled, "No, I never had a cape." Unsure how to give voice to something neither had quite expressed aloud, but she just knew.
"Zrise always wanted to save everyone. On the other hand-" She knew no one could. Her expression dimmed, "I just wanted to have friends and a glimpse of a life outside so…"
Trying to not sound to melancholy Lariel started to brush off the old clothing. "I had tea parties with the toys. Because my brother only wanted to play with me half the time."
“It might sound funny, but I never dreamed of being the hero either. I just wanted people to get along and find their version of happiness. Sometimes that involved a rescue.” He paused, walking deeper into the closet, running his fingertips over the fine clothes as if they could sense and absorb the memories. “And not to let them down.”
His eye landed on a leather cuirass hanging among the coats. Too big for Ky, but it could be buckled tighter. Strange to think this once fit around Zrise’s body. “I’ll take this for my nephew if that’s all right,” he said, carefully shaking off the dust.
“Of course.”
Lariel watched him from the corner of her eye. Her expression gave no hint of what she thought. All that she had was the glassy look. As she was trying to hold her tongue and Siavash at a distance.
“Letting people down requires expectations. At times people make their own and they are unfair. Other times, you put them there yourself.”
She let that hang in the air before adding, "People can't always get along. As I'm sure you know, there are many a tyrant who would enjoy a world where they can decide how others should feel and act."
That stung, but maybe he deserved it. Always trying to win people over was a short leap from not respecting their autonomy, regardless of good intentions. No one ever said it quite like that before, and it made him realize how his terror of losing people sometimes drove him too far.
He’d made a decision on her behalf that irrevocably changed her very nature, just when she was starting to take control of her own life. He didn’t deserve the forgiveness he was fishing for.
When they first met that fateful night in the rain in demon-besieged Kenabres, Zrise was misguidedly trying to drag her back into the family fold, and Siavash had stood up for her freedom, only to drag her into something else. She didn’t have to be happy about that.
This dusty child’s room began to feel claustrophobic. He took the cuirass and headed for the door, turning back to say over his shoulder, “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry, Lariel. I hope someday we can be friends again.”
“Wait! I-“ Her hand shot out like she could catch him. “I never said we aren’t friends. It's my understanding that people can be upset with their friends. That they talk it out! Siavash I-“
Retreating somewhat her arm went limp as she gathered some grace, “I know you never meant to hurt me. But that doesn’t mean I can’t be upset at my circumstances…”
Making herself busy with organizing she didn’t look his way. “I still consider you my dearest friend. But have patience. If you do believe in helping people find their happiness… then you should know sometimes people must mourn what has been lost. There are things you can’t ever get back. And they'll be missed no matter what gifts have been given...”
It was not that Siavash had done something so terrible that she never wished to see him again. No, it was that he couldn’t stomach it. Couldn't own up to the action without it defining him. And that would do him no good, especially as a God. Something grave took hold.
“But…. Trying to coax me into forgiveness just so you don’t have to feel uncomfortable with my loss..." There was something fierce and unmoving in her warning, "If you need me to force a smile and say everything is alright for us to remain friends… That will make me resent you.”
He could only nod. Siavash wasn’t often caught at a loss for words, but all he could think was how much sense that made and how relieved he was. He might not be forgiven, but he was still wanted. Though Lariel had hesitated in reaching for him, he gave her a hug around the shoulders as they left the closet. “Now, how does one get an invitation to one of those tea parties?”
* * *
The conservatory had been left in quite a state. Zrise wasn't sure what else he'd expected because of course his family had their gardener and groundskeeper. But it had been some months since the last visit because they had been let go with the rest of the staff. Some of the more hearty plants were left in an untamed but thriving state. The more delicate types had wilted or died completely. The water features and fish pond were murky with algae and completely stagnant.
It had taken more time than he'd wanted to get everything clean and get the runes working again. As soon as Zrise had figured out where the water system was it was raining down on everything. The sound of the fountain sputtering to life and the scent of wet soil was the first step and he'd already lost so much daylight that a change of clothes would have happen later.
Wiping sweat off his brow Zrise swept the walkways so they were at least clear of dead leaves. Nervously he felt the tiny square box in his pocket as he surveyed the room. Years ago there had been lights for night but he had no idea if they worked anymore. He’d envisioned the small arcane flames hovering around but now he had no idea how he’d accomplish such a thing.
Siavash was the first and only person he wanted to tell everything to. This bond had been suggested on a whim and probably agreed to as one as well. A happy kind. So it hadn’t stopped Zrise from blurting it out in front of Siavash’s family. Then at the moment he remembered this was just making it official. Making it a celebration others could be part of. Something warm and comforting fluttered out of his chest.
Quite literally. A ball of light, white and hot like a forge flame, floated up and then burst with force. Sending parts of itself scattering in every direction. So bright that Zrise had to cover his own eyes until it had dissipated and seeped into everything.
Slowly, as if understanding his intention, the plants around him shifted and groaned like bending in a storm. Then a breath of life, a summer sigh, made even those who had perished stand tall. Orchids, gardenias, primrose, astilbe, lilies, and most importantly the collection of irises he’d neglected long ago due to his heartache.
Zrise held out his hands for a moment to stare. He wasn’t sure how, or why, but those divine powers that had been sitting dormant he could now feel. Buzzing under his skin and through his blood. It swelled to such a sound and pressure he felt he might burst.
Immediately without a second thought he ran in the direction he felt Siavash was. Foot tread thumping down the hallways until with a violent swing the kitchen door slammed open. Siavash and Lariel turned to look at him. His eyes were wild with excitement as Zrise rushed up to take Siavash’s hand away from his teacup.
“Sia! Come with me! I have to show you something!”
Half-aware that they left behind them the sounds of overturned china and spilled tea, Siavash held onto Zrise’s hand as they ran out across the veranda, down the stone steps, and across a dirt path to the greenhouse. They could have gated there faster but running hand-in-hand across the grounds, breathless laughter startling the swans on the bank of the pond, was part of the joy of it. It had probably been a very long time since Zrise was lighthearted in this place.
The glass walls had gotten slightly foggy. Water and warmth held in against the cold Mendevian air. Opening the door was like stepping into a different climate. Catching his breath Zrise shot Siavash a glance over his shoulder. Not realizing just how bright his own smile was. Something close to a childlike wonder all over his face as he brought Siavash over to a shelf of potted plants.
"It sounds crazy but I-I brought these back. I don’t even know how long they’d been left there but I-I was thinking of you. Actually.” Pointing before gesturing wildly to try and pantomime the power, "And it just-it just happened! Half of the plants were dead and and-"
He couldn’t get his thoughts together. Let alone would his mouth agree on what to say, “Light came out and just-whoosh!” Laughing his smile grew slightly self conscious, “I don’t know if I can do it again but I just wanted you to see…”
“The real miracle is you,” Siavash laughed. “Look at you, you’re as excited as Ky.”
He wanted to see the flowers Zrise was gesturing to but he couldn’t take his eyes off him. Speaking of magically bursting into bloom.
Zrise shook his head sheepishly. His gaze softened before it fell to the floor as his voice grew quiet with an admission, "You're the first person I wanted to… to tell…"
Affection sudden as a spring squall stole his breath, or else Siavash might have pulled him in for a kiss. Instead he stood there flushed and smiling, offering a silent prayer of thanks to Desna for that rainy night in Kenabres when Zrise had held a darkly flaming sword to heart.
“Me?” he managed when he found his voice. “Wait, what about Lariel?” He glanced over his shoulder but she hadn’t followed them out. “Although maybe she’d be more cautious in her excitement.”
At last he looked around the greenhouse. There were no signs it had been left untended, no dead leaves scattered on the floor or wilted stems hanging from the boxes. In a gust of accidental divine will, had Zrise suddenly cleaned the place up and revived all the flowers? They were as beautiful as those in Elysium. Sweet gardenia perfume filled the air. In the dewy beds sparkled spotted orchids and colorful primrose, while standing guard over the fountain was a semicircle of night-dark, ruffled irises—the black iris that had come to mean so much to him.
Only then did he notice that Zrise’s clothes were a mess: wet, disheveled and stained with mud. “Just whoosh?”
A little late Zrise went to brush the filth from his trousers. "Only the flowers came back with magic. The rest has been... just mortal stuff."
The realization he was spoiling the surprise with no back up plan hit him. In a bit of desperation and embarrassment Zrise reached to fumble for the divine power only to come up empty handed. There was no proof or distraction and now he had given Siavash a chance to ask him to explain why he'd dragged them to the manor. And he knew that he was awful at keeping things, especially from him of all people.
"I just wanted to get it back to the state I remembered. I... feel bad for neglecting it. That's all!"
It had been some time since he'd shouted out denial as a means to play it cool. Siavash hasn't even accused him of anything and yet he was tripping over himself.
"You-I wasn't planning to show you this part. I wanted to give you a tour once it was all done. So-Let's go back inside." Turning away and running his hand across the back of his hot neck Zrise's voice warbled, "Did Lariel show you the bath yet? It's crazy... you should see it..."
In confusion Siavash followed him toward the greenhouse door. “Wait, I didn’t mean to—”
All this time he thought he was running errands, he was out here cleaning the greenhouse? And now he was deflecting about it? None of it made sense.
And then it hit him.
“Zrise.” He tugged his sleeve to slow him down. “We talked it out. Uh, a little at least. She won’t be mad you dragged me away, especially if it was to witness a divine miracle.”
Hand lingering above the doorknob Zrise paused. It was not his intention to have them resolve tension but it wasn’t unwelcome.
“What happened?”
“Our friendship is wounded, but it looks like it’ll scar over eventually. I guess that’s the best I could hope for,” he said with a sheepish shrug that disguised how emotional he felt about it.
“Now come back and show me your greenhouse. It doesn’t have to be perfect. I’ve been waiting for this since before the Worldwound was closed.”
That thawed some of the worry in his heart. Though it was bruised and sore knowing how much it hurt. He didn’t even have to dip into the bond to know. After hearing such a thing Zrise couldn’t even pretend to put up a fight. Zrise turned and took Siavash’s hand, gently this time.
“Hey, she’ll come around. She showed up today after all.”
Taking steps forward Zrise tilted his head and tried to hold Siavash’s gaze. Despite his heartbeat picking up again.
“You’ve been thinking about it for that long?”
“Of course. Ever since you confided in me about your irises, it’s how I think of you. A man with a secret garden.” He smiled and lowered his voice. “One I was desperate to see.”
Giving a brief squeeze Zrise let out a nervous breath, “Listen, I know it doesn’t have to be perfect… it’s just…” A smile fought its way onto his face as he dipped his head, “I was going to try and surprise you. But… since I dragged you here. Now’s as good a time as any.” Soil and dried leaves still clung to him in places. Hair tied back so he could work. And the water had made him and his clothes a bit chilly. Gesturing down Zrise laughed, “That is… if you don’t mind the mess.”
“You’d look good in anything, but mud’s an improvement over demon guts.”
Maybe it was better this way. Twilight was approaching and Zrise had planned for the promised night time tryst. But he didn’t mind starting a little early. Siavash’s hair caught in the fading sunlight. Golden brown like honey. Adorned in a mixture of earthy, jewel and pastel tones that really felt like they belonged here. The butterflies that usually surrounded him were flitting off in many directions as if excited to explore.
Zrise offered his arm and soon they walked at a leisurely pace. He took time to pause and point out the different plants. Each had a story and many coming from places far away. Further than the Inner Sea. Garund and Tian Xia. They had sparked his imagination as a child. Tales of adventure and journeying through jungles. This place had been constructed by his grandmother. This and a few paintings were all he had to know her by.
Many a non-flowering kind that came in every shade and shape. Along with all kinds of ferns, vines, shrubs, creepers and crawlers. Near the door there was a small herb garden. The center had a few citrus trees which still held fruit. Pads, lilies, moss, hornworts, cattails, and reeds almost choked the surface of the water as turtles, fish, and other animals started to make themselves known.
Then he stopped and stared at the fountain. Depicted in stone, Ketephys, the hunter, stood and aimed his arrow towards the west. A hawk on his shoulder and a hound at his bare feet. Water rushing into the pond below. Here Zrise had let his irises fade into the background. Having moved them from their pots and let them rest. Unwanted and forgotten. After he’d left for Galt he never returned here. Locking away the memories along with the part of himself that still dreamed.
Trying not to give everything away as Zrise’s gaze fell back to Siavash he could already feel his throat closing up. Tears might burst forth if he spoke but there were so many words that needed to be said.
“What do you think?”
“It’s beautiful.” Siavash trailed his fingers in the pond and koi swarmed to kiss them. “It’s like you created a little corner of Elysium for yourself.” To escape from the rest of this place. He didn’t say it aloud but the thought hung there, the acute awareness of past pain, especially having visited Zrise’s childhood bedroom with its kicked-in walls and torn-up messages.
He glanced at him but Zrise looked away toward the orange trees, his throat working.
Something was afoot. Not that it was unlike Zrise to get emotional over this long-awaited tour of the greenhouse, but Siavash sensed he was unusually nervous. He stumbled over the names of the flowers, rubbed his palms on his wet clothes, brushed ineffectually at escaped tendrils of hair, glancing over with an odd light in his eye.
There was a charm to him like this that Siavash found irresistible. Stripped of the menacing bravado, he was surprisingly sweet. Prone to fumbling. Muddy and undone. An unaccustomed sincerity gradually making itself at home in his features.
Whatever instinct had driven Siavash to fish for his secrets that evening long ago at the Half-Measure, he thanked Desna for it now.
“I’m so grateful you told me about your flowers, Zrise.”
"Siavash... I've wanted to show you all this because-well you've been the exception. You are special to me in a way I never thought anyone could be."
Soft and uncertain if he was going to get through it all Zrise took a deep breath and sat on the edge of the stone. "Once, I truly believed that love wasn't meant for me. I just knew that I'd always end up alone. And I was comfortable in my misery because I thought distance would keep me safe. Because something was wrong with me so it was better for everyone that way. So much so I told myself I was content with my loneliness. It was worth it-"
Voice hitching with a sob, only for it to quickly turn into a sheepish laugh, Zrise rubbed his eyes, "But now I-" Smiling even through the tears, "Now I know. I would risk everything for you. You are the only one who loves all the things no one else ever loved about me."
Trembling and fumbling with his pocket Zrise dropped to one knee, "I can't imagine not wanting to run to you. Rain or sun. Good or bad days. My life without your smile, your laugh, your tears, your songs..." Again something caught in his throat, "I'm sure it would never be so bright. So I hope you'll understand..."
The tiny wooden box was ornate yet simple. Engraved with vines and a songbird. "No matter what. You'll be in my heart because you helped me remember myself. Guided me into believing again." Lifting the lid he almost flinched.
He asked for something a bit slim and not very showy. Mindful of the need for his fingers with his guitar. A golden band with a few tiny gems of different colors set in. Not clear in the dim light was the simple inscription: My heart goes with you. Meeting his gaze and not realizing how much of a plea it sounded like as he spoke, "Siavash Mirani... please marry me?"
Siavash forgot to breathe.
Since Zrise had spontaneously, almost accidentally, proposed at the Queen’s victory ball, and Siavash had spontaneously, almost accidentally, accepted, he thought the promise was already made and done. They’d even announced it to his family. That Zrise needed to do this formally had never even crossed his mind, or he might have turned the tables and done it himself. The best he could do was improvise, but even that instinct abandoned him at the crucial moment.
There were no words. He wanted this so much it hurt.
It ached like an old thorn suddenly dislodged from his heart. In the aftermath of Kristov he’d begun to believe he could never make anyone happy without leaving them heartbroken. He didn’t think someone could both understand him and want to stand by him anyway.
And not just anyone. Zrise, his misunderstood hero. Friend, confidant, protector. Dear to him in so many ways. Beautiful, his steely eyes bright with tears, lips trembling, pale cheeks flushed as the blooms crowding around them.
This was a gift of fate beyond even Siavash’s prodigious capacity for hope.
Unable to speak, he dropped to his knees and accepted the tiny box in his palm, its lid engraved with a lark taking flight. The multicolored gems in the ring echoed the many bright blossoms Zrise had brought to life in the greenhouse, and, he realized, his own unique color assortment. He let me inside his secret heart, and this is where I belong.
At that he burst into tears.
Immediately taking Siavash in his arms Zrise could only hold him. Until he couldn’t bear it anymore and held his face to try and give him enough kisses that might make him crack a smile. And even though no words or thoughts had yet passed between them Zrise took the ring from its box and gently held Siavash’s hand.
Full of relief and joy all he could do was laugh and then rest, “I told you... I’d find a better place to ask you.” Lifting Siavash’s hand to his lips for a kiss on his knuckles. Not unlike the night he’d confessed his longing. Only to never receive the rejection he’d anticipated. “I promised you a tryst among my flowers. A secret for only you and I…"
“You did promise.” Through soft laughter, Siavash managed to gain control of his voice. “Now it’s my turn.”
This was not something he ever dreamed he would say. “Yes. Yes, Zrise.”
Ironic that by giving it into someone else’s hands, his heart had finally broken the bars of its cage and taken wing. He looked down at his hand held in Zrise’s and offered a finger for the waiting ring.
“You’ve been the exception for me too. The biggest surprise of my life, and not just that I would want this as much as I do. Because I also started to believe that I would end up alone. That I could never be what people needed me to be, and certainly not to someone like you. There is so much to love.”
The ring slipping into place felt like coming home.
“I can hardly believe you chose me. That you confided in me when the world had been so cruel to you. You believed in me like no one else ever has. You gave me laughter, trust, hope—even when things looked bad. You taught me what real hope looks like.”
He cupped his face and dropped his voice, leaning in. “I want to live in your heart. And hold you in mine. Run to me. I’ll fly to you, always.”
Wearing a goofy smile all Zrise could think to reply was, “Always. I would always choose you. I can't think of any better place to stay in the universe.”
This close with his cheeks resting in Siavash’s palms. Zrise sighed. Unable to resist leaning close to share a kiss. Feeling electrified by the pure bliss of joy.
The smile lingered through it and because Siavash had come to join him on the ground he scooped him up from under the arms and lifted. When he was mortal it wasn’t necessarily easy but he could keep him up for a long time. Now, either that divine strength, or Siavash’s very new nature, had made him feel lighter than ever.
Zrise was a stupid kind of happy. Where no thoughts really lingered other than excitement for this moment. And the future they walked towards together. So for the first time in many years he just spun Siavash and laughed. As if they could tumble into the flowerbeds with no repercussions. And as they twisted he felt that warmth in his chest.
Twinkling and hot like a star. Fireflies started to alight and dot the air around them. It really did feel like Elysium here and its strange sky. The plants around them creaked and shifted again. The tops of the trees pressed dangerously close to the ceiling. Shrubs and ferns were pouring out of their beds and into the path and any empty space.
Soon the ground too was a carpet of fresh grass, moss, and weeds. Only then did Zrise stop. Breathless and nearly tipping into the water before catching them both against the stone. His eyes alight with that same wild brightness as he stared at Siavash.
So this was his plan. To risk coming back to the manor, a place fraught with memories, not to flee past pain but to defy it. Still dizzy and laughing, Siavash turned on him and leaned in, dangerously close to making him lose his balance and fall in the fountain.
“I would kiss you again but we might need a machete to get out of here.”
"I'm sure we could manage it."
Zrise closed the distance.