Chapter Text
As soon as her phone began ringing at five in the morning, Hange knew it would be an interesting day. She sleepily pried her eyelids open. The world around her blurred into shapes and colors that consisted of beige and yellows that she knew as her bed covers and window drapes.
Hange already had an inkling as to who would be calling her so early. Especially considering anyone who was even a mere acquaintance knew of her late night sleeping tendencies. Her mother rarely showed her an ounce of empathy.
She felt around for the flat device that she knew laid on her old and worn bedside table. She wondered what the harsh woman could have wanted from her this time as conversational phone calls with her were scarce. The ringing stubbornly persisted as she finally grasped the cold metal with her palm. She drowsily slid her finger across the screen in acceptance of her phone call.
"Good morning, mom." She greeted warmly, her voice still thickly coated with sleep. She furrowed her brow together as she glanced at her alarm clock, quickly doing the math on how many hours she had gotten of sleep. Two and a half - not too bad all things considering, she'd gone through days worse off.
"Good afternoon, you mean." Her mother's surprisingly light tone corrected. Ah, so it was good news that she'd be delivering, Hange thought in slight relief. No favors or someone in their family falling severely ill, as per usual.
"Right." She responded, reaching again towards the table to obtain her oval framed glasses. "How are things over there?" She asked casually, slipping them carelessly onto her nose. The shapes and colors took form once more, showcasing her messy room.
Her mother let out a cheerful giggle at her words. Hange lifted her brow in surprise at the unusual sound. She hadn't heard her mother giggle since her parents' spontaneous move to Paris eight years ago. Oh no, maybe she was calling with bad news - like her father being found unmoving this morning. They hadn't been getting along all that well lately...
"I've got some good news, dear!" She laughed out, cheerful as ever. Here it comes, Hange mentally prepared herself. "Your father and I are getting divorced!" She revealed happily after a moment of silent anticipation.
Hange paused in thought at her words, expecting to hear that'd she snapped and murdered the man. But, this was certainly unexpected. She'd never imagine her stubborn and prideful mother willingly file a divorce to end their thirty-five-year marriage. "That's... Great news Mom." She breathed out, unsure of how to react. At least she wouldn't be put between their frequent arguments anymore, right?
"Isn't it just? I'm so relieved to be free from your insufferable father, Hun, you don't have the slightest idea." Hange could practically hear the large grin that was likely plastered across her mother's face. "But there's something else, as well." She spoke a few moments later.
"...you're not moving back here, are you?" Hange felt dread settling in her stomach at the mere thought of her mother reclaiming the house they had left for her.
"Oh, God no." Her mother recoiled at her words. Ah, the pretentious life of a France citizen was much too great to even consider the thought of moving back to plain 'ol Washington state. What a shame, Hange thought dryly. "I'm getting married!"
Hange's couldn't react in time to stop her jaw from dropping at her announcement. Hadn't she just said she was happy to be getting a divorce? "O-oh! That's, um, that's nice to hear. How long have you two been seeing each other?" She queried in genuine curiosity.
"A year and a half!" Ah, that explains quite a few things, Hange thought in amusement. "The reason I called is because I'm flying you down for the wedding in a weeks time. The actual event won't be until a few weeks but I want you to have some opinions on certain things such as flower settings and differing napkin holders. Plus dress fittings and the like. Oh! And you better bring a boyfriend down here unlike last time, or else." She rambled on much like Hange would herself.
Hange could only nod along, her still sleep ridden brain not able to do much more than that in her stunned state. She just got the news that her parents were getting a divorce and that her mother had plans to remarry in the span of five minutes. Oh, and that she was required to fly down to Paris at the end of the week.
"Well, my dear, it was nice talking to you, I'll give you more information later on. My company is needed elsewhere." She giggled out like a love stricken teenager. Hange wrinkled her nose in disgust, not wanting to know the deeper explication that lay beyond the words.
"Okay, mom. It was nice talking to you. Goodbye." She heard a muffled bye in return before she hung up the phone. She dropped the device to her lap, looking dazedly at it as she attempted to piece together what had just happened in the span of a ten-minute phone call.
Her mother was acting unusually chipper. Her parents have split apart. Her mother had been cheating on her father for a year and a half now, and she would be getting married at the end of the month. An exceptionally interesting way to start the day, she thought with a dry chuckle.
She swung her legs over the side of her bed. Not bothering to make it, as she slipped out of the door and into her bathroom across the hall. She knew she wouldn't be able to stay sane if she flew across the country and into her overbearing mother's presence by her lonesome.
This meant she'd have to be on the lookout for candidates to be her loving significant other so her mother would stop threatening her. A particular person came into her mind, but she brushed it to the back of her head. That would take a whole lot of bribery and convincing.
However, a plan began to forming in her mind at that very moment, the wheels turning in her head. Or, perhaps not.
-
The first thing Hange prioritized doing upon walking into her work building was stride up to Levi's desk. She grinned widely as she spotted the grumpy man leaned back in his chair. A to-go cup of tea in his grasp as he scrolled through whatever on his computer. "Good morning, Levi!" She greeted cheerfully, leaning over him.
He gave a quick once-over before his gaze returned to his monitor in boredom. "Something you need, shitty glasses?" He droned out.
Hange cleared her throat to catch his attention. "I have a favor to ask you because you're one of my oldest friends and I know I can trust you with anything." She attempted to soften his hard exterior by her flattering words. It hadn't seemed to work.
"If you need me to come by and clean your house again," he paused as his narrowed eyes scanned the writing on his screen. "The answer is yes because eventually, you're going to suffocate from the extreme amount of dust clouding your lungs."
She snorted at his over-dramatic response. "No, that's not it. But if I ever do need to you to come by I know the answer now." His eyes flickered to hers, she recognized the brief hint of curiosity swimming in his light orbs. "I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend for a few weeks." She revealed brightly with a sheepish smile.
He stared blankly at her in return, unsure if she was being serious or not. Hange was strange, so this being her idea of a practical joke wouldn't be too far off. "What kind of favor is that." He raised a brow in question.
"A big one." She replied lamely, shrugging her shoulders once. "Long story short; my parents are divorcing. My mom is getting remarried next month. And, I need to show up with a boyfriend otherwise, my mother will not let me leave. She's actually convinced I'm going to die alone." She huffed out as annoyance flashed across her features.
Levi remained silent, before hesitantly speaking. "Why would I ever even consider doing this?"
Hange grinned down at him. "A free trip to Paris, and the experience of joy you'll get by pretending to be in a relationship with me."
Levi frowned before his gaze turned towards the computer once more. "I'll pass." He said dryly.
"Okay, okay, fine. A free trip to Paris, I'll wash my hair and clean my house every day, and I'll buy you tea anytime you want." She bartered with a soft smile, her eyes hopeful.
He sighed in defeat, spinning his chair to face her directly. "I'll think about it." He said reluctantly, already feeling dread at his words. This was a terrible idea, he admitted inwardly, but when was he ever going to get the chance to go to Paris? Let alone for free? He could manage to pretend to be Hange's significant other for a week or so, he was certain.
On second thought...
Before he could speak up again, Hange embraced him warmly, enveloping her arms around him completely. He stood frozen under her touch, wanting to push her away but not having the will to. "Thank you, Levi, for even considering to do it." She said sincerely, "you have no idea how much this means to me." She said as she let him go.
"...yeah, yeah." He brushed her off easily enough, still inwardly flustered from her earlier actions.
"Lunch in our usual spot, I'll go over things in detail, I promise." She laughed as she began to walk away from him, moving towards ever work area. He watched as she retreated, his eyes distractedly moving towards his monitor. God help him...
A few hours later Hange strode into their usual dining place, smiling in greeting at the hostess. She spotted her close friend near the back of the restaurant, shielded away from any sort of human interaction, as per usual. She slid into her chair, smiling apologetically at him. "Sorry for my tardiness, Erwin wanted to speak to me about a few things. You know how long that takes." She rolled her eyes as she leaned forward on her elbows, brandishing a large smile.
"He's had a stick up his ass for the past week or so." Levi snidely jabbed, directing his usual bored gaze at the disheveled woman.
Hange babbled off her order to the waitress, before turning back to him. "So, I'm leaving to Paris in a few weeks apparently. Or, so I was told today at five in the morning, but who knows, I could've very well hallucinated it." She let out a humorless chuckle.
"Your family will never get any less unentertaining to me." He admitted dryly, watching as she shot him a look of amusement. He couldn't deny that she looked like a mess. There was no doubt that she'd gotten less than three hours of sleep, the bags under her eyes a clear tell. Yet, he couldn't help but think she had a strange sort of charm to her. Mainly her eyes that were highly expressive no matter the state of tiredness.
"Well, you'd find them even more so entertaining in person, I assure you." She responded, drumming her slender fingers lazily on the table.
He frowned in thought, pausing briefly. "I don't understand why all of a sudden you care about what your mother thinks about your personal life choices." He voiced his thoughts aloud, watching carefully as her brown eyes swam with a hint of annoyance.
She sighed as she ran a hand through her locks of hair, making the ponytail messier than it was before. "I don't believe me. But I'd rather not have to deal with the countless amount of French men she probably has lined up for me once I show up single." She let out a heavy breath of air, before continuing. "I just- I need someone to help me cope with all of this, and to make sure I don't snap in anger at anyone. You've done so more than a few times in the past."
He nodded understandingly, feeling his decision begin to drift towards one side more than the other. "So, you want me to pretend to be your boyfriend? For how long?"
"A few weeks." She shot him a sheepish look. "It's not like we'll be cooped up throughout, however. I mean, to put it simply, my mother is filthy rich. She'll pay for whatever we want to do, and there's no doubt she'll spoil you endlessly just for the fact you're the first 'boyfriend' I've had in years."
"So, that means I can order food and tea in Paris as much as I want whenever I want?" He queried, interest piqued ever so slightly.
Hange nodded slowly. "Yes. So, are you in?" She asked, voice rising in hopefulness.
Levi gave a deep sigh, before nodding. "Free trip to Paris with unlimited dining funds sounds like a reasonable enough reason to agree, I suppose."
She gave a loud squeal, igniting others attention to their secluded table. "You're the best, Levi."
"Shut up, four eyes people are staring at us." He said in exasperation, glancing around almost threateningly.
"That's okay! If anyone asks it's because I just realized I have the best friend in the entire world who's willing to do me the biggest favor of my life."
Levi remained silent at that, thought his dark scowl remained intact. It would be a long few weeks, that was for sure.