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Jake couldn’t help but feel nothing more than pain as he watched the innocent eyes staring back at him. The small body, easily the size of both his hands, if not smaller;. It wiggle and giggle, no doubt looking up at Jake in wonder and awe. Curious at the body holding the small baby. The baby’s small body is just barely able to fit the tiniest mask available. It’s small. Too small. Too innocent. Just a baby.
Jake looks at his surroundings, covered in metal, iron, smoke, ash, death–
And then looks at the small baby in his arms.
After the fight, the war against humans. Sky People. After the pain and agony he felt, he couldn’t help but feel at a loss. The humans are going back to earth, with only a small number of people that he trusts staying at Pandora. But those are adults, and they won’t live for a long time; they will live with a limited life time at Pandora, gone before the oxygen in the shacks depletes. That is, if they don’t break. The exopacks need stable electricity and power, and fixing them is incredibly hard. Only a few can fix it until it’s 100% usable, but they’re all going back to earth.
A baby will live a very long time, longer than the adults. Not to mention the limited accessibility that he will have.
A baby needs freedom and space for it to grow and flourish. But a human baby can’t have it in Pandora. It will always be limited. Space? Contained in areas near shacks, if they’re not broken.
Jake looks at the baby with sadness in his eyes. He can’t help but think of his own baby, growing inside of him. The freedom and space that his own baby will need and get. His baby will be Na’vi. This one is human.
He gasps softly as a hand gently lands on his shoulder. Recognizing the person near him, he leans close.
“What are we supposed to do? This baby can’t survive here.” Jake mutters.
“Then we will talk to Eywa. The Great Mother cares for all. Maybe she will care for this Sky Child.” Tsu’tey holds Jake close.
Jake closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before nodding. Carefully, he lifts the child, making sure its little mask is secure and tight and calls for his Ikran, Bob, to go to The Tree of Souls with Tsu’tey beside him, on his own Ikran, as support and company.
He can’t help but to tuck the baby close, securing and keeping the baby warm from the harsh wind. He can’t help but hear the baby's giggle, even though the sky and wind plays a harsh sound in his ears. He can’t help but to imagine his own little baby inside him, to compare both babies. But he stayed strong, determined to ask the Great Mother of what she wants from this baby.
Once arrived, he let the baby see the Tree of Souls and he couldn’t help but smile slightly at its laughter and awe. Its little hands reach up, like it's trying to reach up and touch the tree. Jake kneels near the tree with Tsu’tey sitting near him to wait, reaching to one of its tendrils and his own Kuru to connect.
He dives into the Spirit world, feeling the warmth and love from the Great Mother surrounding him. Smiling brightly at the feeling before turning a bit serious,he. He looks up, hoping his words will reach Eywa.
“Great Mother, the sky people have left a human baby. I worry for him. The sky people’s tools can’t always be perfect. It will break. And a baby needs all the freedom, space and love they can get. Please, what should we do for him?” He asks, sincerity and hope in his voice.
And he can feel Eywa’s worries for him. Worries that he might not be ready to heed Her warnings. But he gives his certainty to Her. To tell Her that he is ready, no matter what. Jake has asked, and Eywa will provide.
He finds a tendril in front of him, with the answers he will get. He touches the it gently, before gripping it, receiving he visions and possibilities of what might come in the future. The future without the baby.
“Great Mother, what will happen if the baby is with us in the future?” Jake asks, in hope. But all he sees is destruction. Destruction of the new Hometree. Destruction of his trusted people. Destructions of his family.
“I could raise him close to my family! Give him a chance to become one of our own!” He says, desperate. Eywa shows him the fire surrounding his future baby. The gun shots in his mate, Tsu’tey’s chest.
He gasps harshly, sucking in air harshly. “No! Then– then I’ll send him away! Far away! Further than where the Reef People are living!” He yells, his grip trembling. Eywa shows his family being found and the destruction on the path the future baby has made, finding Jake’s family.
“Then please, could you not change him? I’ll help! Please, he’s just a baby!” Jake cries, kneeling and his grip on the tendrils close to his heart. He looks up, trying to be heard by Eywa. She could only surround him with comfort.
“Please, Great Mother. Please, Ma’Eywa– PLEASE SA’NU! Not this! Too much blood has been spilt, please!” Jake cries, down on his knees and begging. Begging so he can spare the baby in his real body’s arms. The innocent infant still looking around in wonder and awe. Eywa could only give him the sorry that She feels. But it is his family or the baby’s life, there were no in betweens.
It is decided.
Her voice surrounds him with an echo; ethereal and motherly but with authority.
He takes a shaky breath, before nodding, ending his connection.
In the real world, tears stream down his face, Tsu’tey keeping his body from crumbling down. He opens his eyes, looking at his mate in tears before calling Bob and flying to the Hallelujah Mountains in a hurry with the baby close to his body. Tsu’tey follows him closely, worried about yawntu.
In his hurry, he couldn’t help but feel pain and sadness; he didn't have any choice but to spill more blood, blood, and even more bLOOD. He shakes his head, focusing on his destiny.
Once he reaches the top of Hallelujah Mountains, he goes to the edge and kneels. Look at the baby in his arms and the view, the wind caressing them both, making his tear marks feel cooler, colder. He held the baby closer to his heart with one arm while the other held his stomach, and gently rubbed it. He was there physically, but he felt numb.
A body settles down beside him, holding him around his shoulders and his arm on his stomach. Tsu’tey keeps him close and safe from the height beneath him.
“In another life, our baby can have a big brother,” Jake murmurs softly like there was no fight.
“Why not in this life, Ma’Jake?” Tsu’tey asks.
Jake slowly looks up to his lover's eyes, “Because in this life, this human baby will kill everyone to get to me. So it must be gone.” Jake tears up again, leaning closer to the other.
“But Tsu’tey, he’s a baby. I- I can’t kill a baby. He would be almost a year older than our baby but they would be around the same age. A baby, Tsu’tey. I can’t- I’m just a man- I’m just one person–!” Jake cries, holding both the baby and his stomach closer. He folds on himself, only staying upright thanks toTsu’tey, who's still holding on to him.
“Was the Great Mother the one that told you this, Ma’Jake?” Tsu’tey asks gently.
“The Great Mother gives visions, and possibilities, but it is your decision in the end, Ma’Jake. Your decision is what will happen in the end, and I will support what you decide.”
Tsu’tey leans in to kiss his head, still braided from the war. They lean to each other, keeping each other company for a while. The sky turned from a beautiful bright light to a sky full of twinkling stars.
Jake sighs, closing his eyes and opening them, his hand moving from his stomach to the baby’s mask, his hand hovers, only touching gently.
They sit quietly on the outside, but his mind is a raging storm, thinking of the pros and cons. On what would happen. On what could happen. It doesn’t settle once, his tail swishing once in a while out of frustration.
And under the twinkling night sky, he made up his mind.
“This baby will never find peace in Pandora,” He whispers, hand holding the mask and letting the air soothe in. Thankfully, babies can’t feel the air difference and don’t choke; a lesson he received from the scientists around. Tsu’tey stays beside him, grounding and supporting him on his decision.
“I’m sorry, baby. I see you, my child and forgive me. May your spirit run with Eywa, while your body remain and become part of Pandora.” Jake quietly says, when the air in the baby’s mask ran out.
He feels a choke in his breath. He lets his tears run again, holding the baby closer to his chest, Tsu’tey keeping him from falling the Mountains and dragging them from the edge slowly. Jake crumbles on himself, kneeling and hugging the small dead body of the baby close to his chest. His whole frame goes down, and his cries are raw, loud and ugly.
He only knew of this baby for a short time, but this baby was like an introduction to his own. Instincts from having his own baby growing inside him and emotions running wild, until it flows over with nothing to stop it.
Tsu’tey keeps his head from hitting the ground, letting him cry into his chest instead, hugging his body tight in an attempt to comfort him. He could only stop his incoming tears, hearing Jake cry and begging for the baby for forgiveness. Saying sorry over and over and over until his voice goes hoarse. Until his tears stop flowing because he couldn’t cry any more. Until there’s nothing left in him.
Jake, still in pain, dug a space in the ground, helped by Tsu’tey, no help from tools, just with his hands. A self-inflicted punishment from Jake to himself. Once deep enough, he wrapped the baby in his blankie, gave his first and last kiss on its tiny forehead, and settled it inside. He covered the small burial hole and put the small mask and beautiful flowers on top.
They pray one last time, wishing the baby peace and acceptance from Eywa and Pandora before leaving. They ride together on Tsu’tey’s Ikran for Jake’s safety.
In the distance, he could hear a baby’s laughter. He looks back, to see the baby slightly grown up, playing and having fun with its surroundings that welcomed him with joy. The child looks at Jake in the eyes, shouting ‘Thank you!’ and waving enthusiastically. Jake felt a new tear drop, his empty and heavy heart lifting just a little.
He leaned back against Tsu’tey, and touched his stomach. For the first time after leaving the Tree of Souls, he felt a small tinge of hope.