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It was Angel’s fault. It was definitely Angel’s fault.
Sean knew that it had all started, a whole can of worms were flung open, as soon as Angel was asked more about her career and what she had to do in her line of work—and the duty for her to experiment.
That wasn’t Sean’s problem. He’s heard that many people do it now, it’s the whole new love and peace in a hippie era, and he was completely on board with that lifestyle. It was Raven who had to follow it up.
“Um, experiment?”
Angel had giggled, given Raven a wink, and elaborated with, “Oh, you know. A quick toss and tumble with a girl. It gets all the boys excited.”
Raven had turned red by that point, but this still wasn’t Sean’s problem, even though he wasn’t exactly excited. He didn’t think he was supposed to be.
Sean noted that Darwin and Alex had exchanged looks, a way of communicating that girls were crazy, but Hank was staring determinedly down at his feet, and Angel must have took this as a group denial from the guys, even though Sean hadn’t taken any part in it. Actually, he really wanted to leave.
He didn’t want to talk about experimentation. He didn’t want to talk about Angel with other girls, at the very least, mainly because he was too embarrassed and, well, to put it bluntly, too inexperienced to be talking about any of these things. He’s never even been out with a girl. Not even once. No one had wanted to go out with him thus far, no matter how sweet or polite he would be. The truth was, no one wanted to date tall, ginger, freckly losers like him. What would he know about experimentation? Absolutely nothing. Luckily, everyone seemed to be on his side, because no one had followed up Angel’s explanation—only for Angel to do it herself.
“What? You guys never thought about what it would be like?”
Raven had stayed quiet, her eyes now turning back to grace Hank, but said Scientist hadn’t looked up from his feet even after Angel’s interrogative.
Darwin had laughed and leaned back into the couch, folding his arms and looking so cool because Darwin was a cool man. Sean knew Darwin was a cool man. Darwin was probably the coolest out of all of them. Darwin wouldn’t have experimented. Darwin was pretty damn straight, even Sean could tell that.
Though, attention really wasn’t on Darwin. Or Hank. Or Raven. Or Sean, thank God, but... Sean noticed that after a long period of silence, everyone was staring at Alex because the blonde in question had cleared his throat.
Alex had shifted in his chair, resting the coke bottle back onto the table, and then he had clasped his hands together. Sean stared at him, just like everyone else was, because it seemed as if Alex had something important to announce.
“I don’t need to know what it feels like,” Alex started, a dark look shining over his features like a nightlight, and Sean could see how sad Alex looked, “I already know.”
Look, there weren’t gasps per se, but... No one had expected that. No one had expected that Alex Summers wasn’t the big heterosexual bad boy that everyone had presumed he was. And Sean could tell that no one had expected that because Hank was now gazing at Alex with alarm rather than staring at the floor, Raven had covered her mouth, Darwin had sat up straight, and Angel had crossed her legs and giggled delightfully.
Whereas Sean... Sean didn’t know what he was feeling. He guessed why Angel had to experiment—she said so herself, to keep boys interested in her damn strip club—but... But Alex? Something was stirring between Sean’s chest, and he swallowed thickly as if that would repress it.
No one had to ask Alex any questions. Alex carried on anyway.
“It wasn’t intentional,” Alex tried to backtrack, as if they were all judging him.
Maybe they were.
“What happened?” Sean couldn’t help but ask before it was too late to shut his mouth.
Why had he done that? Alex wouldn’t want to tell him. Would he? Only, Alex had turned in his chair so he was just facing Sean, and not the rest—though everyone was still interested in Alex’s gay story.
“Prison,” Alex told him, the same shadow highlighting Alex’s features as before, making Sean feel sick.
Something was telling Sean that this gay experience wasn’t exactly like Angel’s.
“Prison?”
“The tough ones like bitches to toy with. They wanted ass. They caught me off guard.”
Oh.
Sean glanced down, not wanting to meet Alex’s glazed gaze, so he didn’t actually see how the others reacted. He... He didn’t want to think about that. No wonder Alex wore a dark shadow. It was a dark past that no one should have opened back up. It wasn’t fair on Alex. Except... No one had forced Alex to say anything. He could have brushed it off. Sean could have told Angel to shut up.
But that hadn’t happened. Which was why he blamed Angel for it. For the revelation of Alex... Being taken in prison.
No. He didn’t want to think about it. But Sean felt so guilty... So ashamed... Because he still had questions.
He cleared his throat and he took the chance to look back up at Alex, only to find that the blonde was still looking at him anyway.
“What was it like?”
Alex furrowed his eyebrows, “What?”
“I... What was... What was it like? Being with a guy?”
Angel snorted, “Sean, he got raped in his jail cell, I don’t think Alex is gonna tell you it was all sunshine and daisies.”
Sean turned bright red, the guilt he felt earlier coming back to hit him at full force, and then a quell silence fell over them like a blanket.
No one had anything to say.
Except for Sean, but Angel was right. He had no right to ask Alex about his experiences when the experiences weren’t consensual at all.
“I’m sure it could’ve been better,” Alex began, causing everyone to look back over at him.
Alex was still staring at Sean. Was he answering his question?
Sean shifted until he was on the edge of his seat, so he and Alex were facing each other again in the black leather chairs.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Alex nodded, and Sean noted the burden on his face had considerably lifted, “Y’know, if it was with a guy I liked and I was ready.”
Sean couldn’t help but ask, “So you’re gay?”
Alex shook his head, though his stare hadn’t lifted from Sean’s face, “Nah. More like what Angel called it. I wouldn’t mind experimenting.”
“There you go,” Angel cut in, openly pleased with herself, “There’s your chance, Sean. All these questions, why don’t you find out for yourself?”
“I—W-What?”
Sean suddenly felt trapped—instead of all eyes peering at Alex, they had now directed to him, and Sean squirmed on his chair. He really needed to leave. It felt like he was cornered by car headlights; he was already seeing his life flash behind his eyes.
“I mean,” Alex interjected, shifting to sit on the chair’s armrest, even closer to Sean, making him tremble, “It’d have to be under the right circumstances.”
“Exactly!” Sean spluttered, trying to find any way out of this, because he couldn’t show that he wanted to kiss Alex, even though he... He really did. “The right circumstances. Which... Which... We’re under right now, aren’t we?”
The only reason why he questioned it like that was because Alex was right there, either because the bastard was messing with Sean, and would pull back at the last second and laugh it off, or it was because Alex was truly intending on kissing him.
Alex only nodded.
Raven giggled, though Sean hadn’t looked away from Alex’s face, so he couldn’t see anybody’s features right now. Only... Only Alex’s, and... He could hear his heart hammering in his chest... And he felt sick. Very, very sick. With nerves.
“What are you waiting for? Kiss him,” Angel cheered.
Alex seemed to have seen Sean’s tremors, which was why Alex did eventually pull back, and Sean found himself being disappointed under his relief.
“Nah, Sean ain’t like that. I’ll spare him,” Alex decided, and Sean couldn’t tell, but maybe Alex sounded disappointed too.
Sean... Sean wasn’t sure about that. He didn’t think he was like that. But... Then again... So far in his life, he had only done what he had been told was right. And it’s not like he’s ever been with a specific gender before. He’s never been with anyone before.
“I... I could be. Like that. Um. Maybe. I don’t know.”
Alex raised an eyebrow, “You could be?”
Sean nodded, moving so he was sat on his own armrest, and then Alex was right there again, in his space, and Sean had to spread his thighs, just a little, so Alex could slot between his chest after he had stood up. Their foreheads were almost pressed together, their hesitating breaths mingling with one another as Sean tried to will up enough courage to just go for it.
Sean wanted this so badly. It would be Sean’s first kiss—well, technically, because kisses from his parents didn’t count. This counted. Because Alex was admittedly the hottest person he’s ever laid eyes on, and he didn’t even know that was possible, because he did believe that he was straight. Despite encountering rejection after rejection, he always went for girls, because it was drilled into him that going for girls was what he had to do. But he had Alex right here, against his chest, though he couldn’t see his strong jaw line anymore, because Sean had closed his eyes.
He couldn’t tell if Alex had closed his eyes either, or if they were still open, but Sean had leaned in until his mouth slipped against impossibly soft lips, and he expected it to not be this good. It was soft, warm, chaste—nothing heavy or hot, but... But it was sweet. So undeniably sweet. Half of him expected something gross, or prickly and rough, but it wasn’t. Alex was kissing him with care, as if this meant something, as if Sean meant something.
They didn’t stop. Though they physically didn’t go anywhere, Alex pushed closer, and Sean’s arms came to rest against Alex’s waist, pulling him in as their mouths worked together in a sensual rhythm. It didn’t take long before Alex had licked across Sean’s bottom lip, causing him to gasp at the odd sensation, and it reminded Sean that this was his first kiss—yet he let Alex in, and they would have been able to explore each other more if Raven hadn’t picked up a cushion and threw it at them with scary precision.
The impact caused Alex to pull back slightly in shock, though he didn’t move away from Sean’s body, and even though the cushion hadn’t hurt them, Sean let out a soft ‘ouch’ anyway.
“That’s enough PDA,” Raven chastised, holding back her giggling like a lost schoolgirl.
Darwin smirked up at Alex, giving him a thumbs up sign, causing heat to rise to Sean’s cheeks yet again. He didn’t even want to know what that meant. Hank had been grinning up at them, but he didn’t want to deal with the genius at the moment. He had just had his first kiss. With a guy. And he loved it.
He settled back against the chair until he was sat on it again, though Alex had only shifted to sit on the armrest of Sean’s chair, their arms still around each other.
“So, on a scale of one to ten, how gay are you now?” Angel asked him with a knowing smirk, and Sean stared down at his feet for a few moments.
“A solid 9.9 from the looks of it,” Alex answered for him, which caused a soft eruption of laughter across their friends.
Sean just rolled his eyes and shoved at Alex with his foot, but it didn’t seem to deter Alex. In fact, it actually earned him a second kiss.
Angel seemed to take that as a reason to celebrate, despite the fact that Sean wasn’t listening to her girly chunters about how great she would be as a matchmaker. He was only pulled out of the world of Alex when Angel handed them all another bottle of coke she had received in record timing and Sean watched as she reached into the middle of their little semi circle with her own beverage.
“To experimentation!”
Everyone took the bait as it was and clinked their bottles together in a cheers, Sean’s cheeks still pink as they rose their cokes into the air to chant simultaneously, “To experimentation!”