Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Sirius Symboli doesn’t look to her mother for comfort.

That isn’t to say Speed doesn’t comfort her when she needs it. She does. She makes a point of it, in fact, to ensure her daughter is safe and happy. They call every day, if they don’t see each other. Speed is like Sirius’s best friend, and they tell each other everything. It’s just that when it comes to something as fickle as comfort, Sirius has other places she goes first. For comfort, she goes to those friends of hers.

Sirius Symboli looks to her mother, instead, for sex.

She looks to her mother when she needs a quick release of pent-up energy. She looks to her when she needs the embrace of the slick and damp heat between her legs. Maybe it is still comfort she seeks, if in a twisted way. At the end of the day, isn’t Sirius’s search for sex just a search for connection? She could call it that, if she did enough introspection. She doesn’t, though. She doesn’t have the heart to look inward.

Sirius lifted herself with a moan, one of many from the night… or day. She wasn’t sure. She felt the sweat transfer from Speed’s skin to her own. It felt dirty. It felt pure.

“Fuck,” she hissed breathlessly. Her phone was buzzing from the nightstand. She had just finished, anyway; so did Speed, but she didn’t seem done.

“What is it?” Speed asked, her eyebrows furrowing and turning upwards as Sirius pulled herself off and went to drag her phone off the table. 

Sirius didn’t initially answer her. She fumbled around for a solid few seconds. She ignored the fluids dripping onto the green sheets on Speed’s bed. They’d get cleaned later, in one way or another. She tried to read a message on her phone through squinted eyes. She looked damn near ready to pass out.

“Sirius…” Speed whined. She was always so needy, even if they were done, because Speed could stand being fucked until the end of time by Sirius. She’d let Sirius kill her if it brought the right amount of pleasure. 

EMPEROR: I need you to come to the student council room at your earliest convenience. 

“Sirius…! Are you ignoring mommy…?”

DOGSTAR: i;m bsuy 

Her mother moaned beneath her, her leg traveling up her side, still trembling from the ending. Her mother had such long, nice legs. Her inner thighs were Sirius’s favorite, especially when they were shaking from the hickies and bruises, cupped in Sirius’s hand. 

EMPEROR: OK. Rephrasing: 

EMPEROR: Now. It’s about Tokai Teio.

DOGSTAR: srsly ?

“Sirius!” Speed snapped suddenly. She sat up, snatching, or attempting to anyway, Sirius’ phone from her hands. She didn’t look at it, but instead pouted up at her daughter. 

Sirius was the only person she knew that could call her mother a brat and be accurate about it. She forgot when that transition occurred. Perhaps around when Sirius stopped being the brat, and started being her father’s replacement. 

“I gotta go to the office,” Sirius exhaled, her still sticky fingers resting underneath Speed’s chin. 

Speed fell back on the bed, gently pushing Sirius away from herself as she rolled over, “Fine, leave me here alone again, I don’t care. You’ve only been out with that little mare nearly every day.” 

Sirius rolled her eyes as she turned away from her mother, instead refocusing as she searched for her clothes. She wouldn’t have this argument again; you’d think she’d be happy for her to have found someone “young” and was on her way to having a baby, but Speed would never be satisifed with anything Sirius achieved. 

“Come back for dinner!” Speed shouted after Sirius as she wrapped up in a sheet blanket, “I miss you!” 

Sirius waved her off as she stepped out of the room. She grabbed her coat before heading outside, already feeling the cold seep into the dark hallways of the Symboli estate. 

The student council room was cold as well this morning, frost on the windows creeping up from the corners. 

Symboli Rudolf had already been working for quite a few hours. She was pouring over boring, mind numbing reports for some hours already. When she wasn’t doing that, she was sat in meetings, listening to presentations, or video calling with foreign families that were considering sending their daughters to Tracen. This was the first hour she had seen peace, and she chose to fill it with pouring over her next plans for Tokai Teio’s racing career.

It was important to note that Teio hadn’t grown very big. In fact, no one could tell she was pregnant when she had all her clothes on. She was still athletic through it all, and had directly asked Symboli Rudolf to be her trainer for the time being. She didn’t want her old trainer or friends finding out; Rudolf agreed with that.

On that note, a second opinion was always a clever idea for new regimes before they were sent out. Especially when the trainee had a special condition and was known to be fragile like Tokai Teio. 

Her head lifted as the door opened, and this time Sirius Symboli walked through. She made a face when she saw her condition: messy hair, lopsided, dirty tshirt, and jeans she certainly found on the floor. 

Sirius Symboli was fucking her mother again. She could tell by the careless hickeys. 

She pointed with a green ballpoint pen, “Your fly is down.”

Sirius’s face twisted into a halfhearted sneer. Yanking her fly up like it was Rudolf’s fault for pointing it out, she glanced around the room and sighed. Seeing no one else was in the room but Rudolf, she pulled out her CBD pen. She let it hang loosely in her lips and took her phone out, thumbs tapping away.

“So what?” She grunted in response finally, around the smoke pooling out of her lips.

Symboli Rudolf felt her eyebrow twitch, but she wouldn’t let herself get irritated this fast. Instead she decided to just ignore the pen, ignore the texting, and try to get this over with quickly. She had other things to do today, anyway. 

“It doesn’t matter,” Rudolf hummed as she straightened her paperwork. “Teio left team Spica. Did you hear about this?”

Rudolf let the statement hang. It was probably a heavier statement to her than it was to Sirius Symboli, but she tried to make it have some sort of impact. 

“Right…” Sirius hummed numbly, “Did you see how big the baby is now? They took another picture at the last appointment—” Sirius showed her screen to Rudolf, a blurry photo of a hospital screen on it, showing a black and white ultrasound of the baby umamusume growing in Teio’s stomach. 

Rudolf just glanced at it and ignored the twisting sickness growing in her own stomach.

”How frequent are these appointments getting now?” Rudolf asked as she looked down at her paperwork again, “That’s part of why I needed you here. I know you’re more aware of the schedule.” 

Sirius’s ear flicked. She stayed silent for a moment, staring at Rudolf’s uncaring face, and then it did it again. She felt like her face was doing quite a bit of twitching altogether, but that’s not exactly something she could control. Rudolf’s flippancy was beginning to get under her skin. 

“She has to go once a week,” she answered slowly. Even slower, she shut her phone back off, then tested the waters she knew were alligator-infested, “It would probably benefit you to care a little more. Maybe you could even go to one of the appointments yourself.”

”I don’t have time for it. Especially weekly,” Rudolf answered with a level of annoyance, her eyes glancing up once again. “This is the worst time of year for me. There’s audits, the classics are about to begin, meetings… I would if I could.”

It was notable that Rudolf had taken a two week vacation after the Arima Kinen this year, during which she certainly could’ve gone to two of the appointments Teio had. Sirius remembered scrolling through her private Umayon story and seeing her out for lunch with Mr CB. 

“Weekly is manageable…” Rudolf mused softly, “I can just schedule around it…”

”Managable?” 

Rudolf looked up again, folding her hands together, “I called you in because I’ve taken over as Teio’s trainer for the foreseeable future. She was nervous about judgement from her trainer and teammates, so we’ve decided private sessions are for the best until further notice.” 

“Are… What?” 

Sirius looked dumbfounded. She’d taken the pen out of her mouth and now held it limply at her side. She shook her head; from the look on her face, she nearly didn’t believe what Rudolf was saying. Her words hit Sirius an instant later. In an instant, Sirius believed her far too much.

She moved forward abruptly, her tail swishing behind her and her ears angling back, “You better not be saying what I think you’re saying. Tokai Teio cannot race.”

Rudolf’s own ears slowly lowered with each step Sirius took towards her desk. She didn’t adjust away, or act any less dignified in the moment. 

“Tokai Teio can race. She wants to, so she will,” Rudolf said slowly, enunciating every syllable in her words in a placating matter. “She’s already put in her entry fees and paperwork for the Diamond Stakes later this month. I didn’t call you here to argue with my or her decision, I called you here to look over the plan I put together for her training.”

Rudolf swallowed thickly, not liking how Sirius was looking at her already. She had seen that look in her eyes too many times before, after too many races where Sirius came in second and felt it was Rudolf’s fault alone. Her leg bounced lightly, crossed over the other and nearly hitting the desk with each movement. 

“Sirius, calm down. You’re overreacting.” 

“I’m overreacting?” Sirius’s eyebrows raised. She leaned back and took another hit of her pen. She crossed her arms and blew her smoke in Rudolf’s face intentionally to obscure it. She might strangle her. It was better for both of them if she couldn’t see her.

“I haven’t said more than maybe three things, but I put my foot down and I’m overreacting,” Sirius continued, grunting. She had the brief thought to threaten calling Teio to the office to settle this; the thought caused a weird feeling to form in her chest. Teio was going through enough, being pregnant, and that was already thanks to the two of them. She shouldn’t call a child here to listen to adults arguing. She huffed through her nose, then said, “Look, I don’t care. She cannot race until after she has this baby and is healed. It’s not safe for either of them.”

”It’s Teio’s decision,” Rudolf reiterated, as if that willed all the issues with the scenario away, as if it made it so that Teio being pregnant didn’t matter, that the fact that she was a fragile Umamusume who had three fractures in the past didn’t contribute anything to this conversation. As she waved away the smoke from her face, she glared up at Sirius, “She will be perfectly fine. It’s nothing intense, and the Diamond Stakes is just a G3 race.”

She took to rearranging the papers on her desk, stacking the papers and putting them to the side. Now she was back to not looking at Sirius whatsoever. 

“If you cared about her, truly, you would care about her career as I do. No sense in pausing now. She needs the sponsorship and win money if nothing else. I know it sounds cruel—“ 

“It is cruel,” Sirius responded. “I do care about her. You wanna know how I can prove that?”

She slammed her hand down on the papers, leaning down into Rudolf’s face now, “I’m a goddamn Symboli. If she needs money, she doesn’t have to rely on pushing her body past its fucking limits.”

This was the stand still. The breaking point. Words like that couldn’t be said without an acknowledgement of the weight they had behind them, of the… implications. Of what Sirius was insinuating, intentionally, or not. 

Symboli Rudolf remembered when Speed Symboli decided to take her under her wing. She had to work for it, rather than be born with it. She had to prove herself; she always had something to prove, even now. At the end of it, she was granted the Symboli name, which she continued to wear with more pride than Sirius could dream of. Than Sirius could understand. 

They stared into each other’s eyes. Years worth of arguments, of beatings, of hate-sex and passionate sex, of moments of peace sat in Sirius’ room together burned up in their minds. 

Rudolf never got violent. 

She wouldn’t, even now. 

“As am I,” Rudolf whispered, her eyebrows raising slowly, “and your mother agrees with me. Ask her yourself. Get out.” 

Sirius didn’t say Rudolf wasn’t a Symboli. That wasn’t her point. It was just like Rudolf to make it into something it isn’t. She’s done this in every argument they’ve had. Her eyes narrowed, and her ears laid flat now. 

“You’re not listening to me,” she growled. “I know you carry the Symboli name, I’m saying you could do something with it. Instead of letting Teio fend for herself-“

”Get OUT,” Rudolf’s voice rose with sudden intensity. Her chair flew back into the wall behind them, her own hand slamming down inches away from Sirius’s. “You will not tell me that I am being cruel, or letting Teio fend for herself. You won’t tell me what I will or won’t do with my name either.” 

Before she could continue, the door slid open, and the clock chimed alongside one of the bells letting students know there was a class change, or rather that school was ending for some of the older girls. Through the door entered Air Groove, who stopped in her tracks when she saw the two Symbolis in one another’s faces. Her ears fell back as she also stepped back. 

”Apologies. Am I interrupting?” 

“Sirius Symboli was just leaving.” 

Sirius took a moment to look between Air Groove and Rudolf. She watched the smoke dissipate in front of Rudolf’s face. She gave another frustrated huff through her nose. She turned on her heels, only somewhat hesitating. She looked Air Groove in the eye.

”Just real quick,” she started, her voice still holding that sharp edge to it. “Can you remind me if Tokai Teio is still in class?”

Air Groove tilted her head just slightly, her ear rising as she thought through her mental database of all her juniors’ class schedules. Then, she shook her head, “No, actually. Today is a ‘short day’ for Teio. She’s usually in her dormitory until dinner.” 

Rudolf cringed. She felt wood under her nails. 

“Perfect,” Sirius moved to walk past her, holding up a hand in a lazy wave. She didn’t glance back, on a mission now—to the dorms, as it were. “Thanks!”

The dormitory door was just barely creaked open, Sirius noticed upon arrival. She could see through the slit that three girls were inside, including Tokai Teio. On one side of the room, Mayano Top Gun, her roommate that Sirius honestly couldn’t stand, was standing next to her bed. Her arms were wrapped around herself. She had on a tshirt and sweatpants, like she had just gotten out of bed, despite how late in the day it was already. Across from Maya and beside Teio, sitting on the bed even though Teio was not, was Mejiro McQueen (who, for the record, Sirius could also not stand). It was her purple eyes that glided over to the crack in the door and caught Sirius peeping. She said nothing about Sirius standing in the door, but Sirius gave up and opened the door all the way before McQueen could make an imagined snide comment.

“Hey,” she breathed out, looking between the girls. She could see now that Mayano looked to be in tears; and Teio, too, but McQueen’s face was characteristically blank. That’s why Sirius didn’t like her much. She seemed to have slowly turned statue-esque in the last year, her face freezing into a permanent blank stare. It was common with Mejiro mares, for them to freeze up like Ramonu did after she came of age, but a stud? Sirius had never seen a Mejiro stud freeze like that before. She hadn’t met a stud so emotionless period, actually, especially in the presence of two devestated looking mares.

“…What happened?”

Teio’s lips automatically parted for a response, but the words hung dead in the air. Her eyes casted away from Sirius, which was odd to her, and instead focused on the floorboards.

”It isn’t your business,” Mayano Top Gun snapped harshly. She seemed taken aback by her own words, but the filly continued anyway, “Go away!”

“I’m here to take Teio to dinner,” Sirius retorted with her surprise plans, her eyebrow twitching over being snapped at, “and she’s crying. Why is she crying? Why are you crying?”

“She got raped,” Mejiro McQueen replied bluntly. It made Sirius’ stomach churn. The revelation was followed by a dry silence. McQueen was the only one still looking at Sirius.

“B… by who?”

”Her trainer.”

“What a piece of shit.”

“It happened at a Christmas Party, apparently. She’s not pregnant.”

“I didn’t… think she—“

“Well, I was just telling you,” McQueen replied, her voice showing just a touch of irritation. They stared at each other still, neither really blinking much in their standoff.

Sirius Symboli didn’t know where this little colt got off.

Sirius waved her hands dismissively at McQueen, “Okay, whatever, did you report this asshole?”

”He quit. That’s what we were discussing before you barged in here.” McQueen rose from Teio’s bed, stepping forwards. Maybe she hated Sirius for getting Teio pregnant, or maybe she hated her for being close to her sister; Sirius couldn’t figure that part out. She didn’t care enough to try to understand, because regardless, McQueen was a spoiled brat, “You should leave.”

”Stop it,” Teio whispered, grabbing McQueen’s arm suddenly. “I think I want to go to dinner. I’m hungry anyway.”

Sirius’s chest heaved with a sigh of pride and relief, getting a sudden rush of that winning feeling. She nodded, then turned to Mayano Top Gun, “Do you want to come too?” She offered, “I’m sorry. For what happened to you.”

”No—“ Maya rejected quickly, her whole body rotating away. Her hair was even down, those typical cheery pigtails nowhere to be found. Her head shook, “I’d rather not.”

There was another dry silence that followed this. Sirius Symboli waited. Eventually, Teio let go of McQueen, moving beside Sirius instead.

”Can you stay with Maya?” She pleaded gently, softly, all of them talking still like Mayano Top Gun wasn’t standing right there, “Until I get back.”

McQueen nodded. She sat back down on Teio’s bed, “I suppose I don’t have a choice.”

As she left with Sirius, Teio found she had nothing else to say to McQueen. The conversation, before Sirius had come in, had been… odd, to say the least.

Mayano Top Gun had recounted that night to them in detail:

We went to a Christmas Party. It wasn’t one at Tracen, it was somewhere else, but other racers were there too, with their trainers. I even saw Narita Brian and her sister there. I… felt like a little kid like always, so I wanted to try some grown-up stuff! Trainer let me drink some… I dunno, it was sparkly, and bubbly. I thought it was sort of yucky but I kept drinking it anyway and— I got… really, really sick. I had to go home. I wanted to go home. But he took me to his office. And I just remembered that it hurt. It hurt a lot. It hurt worse than anything— but he said I was being so grown up— he said lots of times that he loved me— he said I was being a good girl. But it hurt. Who hurts someone they love? Is that what being grown up is all about? Hurting people you love? I woke up on the ground and everything was still feeling icky. I couldn’t forget about it. I couldn’t ever forget about it. I felt his hands still on me all day— all week— all month— even now, I feel his hands— I don’t want to be grown up anymore— I don’t think I have a choice now—

Teio shook her head, vanishing the story from her mind as she looked up from the table. She didn’t remember sitting down in a booth, or even entering the buffet place. Hell, she didn’t even remember the walk over. She must’ve been quiet, then.

”Sorry,” Teio whispered as her shoulders hunched.

“For what?” Sirius replied, her voice soft too. She was placing plates of steak and vegetables down for them both when Teio had looked up.

Teio shrugged as she poked at the vegetables with her fork. She moved what she could to the side of her plate. She wouldn’t normally be this picky if not for how nauseated she was feeling lately. Her other hand rested on her stomach.

“Talk to me.”

”There isn’t anything to talk about,” Teio insisted, now gently poking holes in the steak. Her face twisted in annoyance when she realized how rare Sirius had ordered it, “I can’t eat this, you know.”

”What? Why?”

Teio didn’t know if Sirius was just trying to make her mad on purpose, or if she genuinely had no idea. It was always hard to tell with her. Sometimes she thought being dense on purpose was funny; Teio did not, which made it even more hilarious for Sirius. She huffed, through her nose, pushing her plate away, “I don’t think I’m really that hungry.”

The table stayed silent, guilt settling in Sirius’s stomach even though she had no idea why that was. She didn’t know how to handle Teio’s emotional state on a normal day, let alone after some horrible revelation about one of her friends. She kept quiet, just at first, to keep cordial, to think through what to say. She felt she’d be lucky if she got more than one sentence out of Teio tonight. Maybe she should have called first; what good was dragging someone out if it didn’t even help them feel better?

”I was the first person she told. Well, McQueen and me, I guess,” Teio mumbled suddenly, breaking the silence and punctuating it with a soft sniffle. Sirius felt relieved to hear any words at all coming from Teio’s lips, “She hadn’t even told her dad yet. She tells him everything.”

Sirius nodded along as she felt her face grow stern. The whole situation disgusted her, and if she knew who the guy was, she’d go gather up Katsuragi Ace and Nakayama Festa and take care of him herself. She didn’t speak just yet, though, Teio not quite looking done yet.

“…I haven’t told my parents yet, either.”

It was hard for Sirius to stay quiet then.

”What?” Sirius unintentionally snapped, nearly choking on the bite of steak she just took. Her eyes widened as she stared back at Teio, who looked surprised that Sirius was so surprised.

They did not have much time left until this baby came. Whether it was Sirius’s, or Rudolf’s, there was no hiding a whole filly or colt from one’s family without a few questions arising.

“Are you fucking serious?” Sirius continued when Teio didn’t, “So what are you going to do in a month or two? ‘Surprise, you’re grandparents now! Here’s the baby I had at school!’ If you were my kid…”

Teio’s nose scrunched up, “Would you quit?! I didn’t mean to forget to tell them— it just— well, I haven’t seen them and I— I mean it doesn’t even look like— geez, you’re so mean to me!”

“I’m being realistic here. I’d beat your ass if you pulled that on me.”

”I almost did,” Teio reminded Sirius harshly, a beat of silence while they both thought back on the previous summer, sitting and waiting for results in the Showa group’s cabin.

Sirius rubbed her temple with two fingers, putting her utensils down as she looked anywhere but Teio’s obnoxious pout, “Why haven’t you told them?”

”I’m scared, Sirius.”

The honesty tonight was rattling Sirius. She preferred honesty, craved it even, but to hear it so brutally from someone like Teio had a level of disturbing comfort to it. Her body melted, shoulders drooping as her expression softened, and then they were holding eye contact once again.

“I’m really scared. My mom is gonna think I’m messin’ everything up that she set up for me,” Teio explained, her eyes welling worse with tears. Her sniffles grew in intensity, “She didn’t have a lot left from her racing days when she enrolled me. She spent everything she had left on me. She’s paid for my silks, and my cleats, and anything else has been coming to me weekly for an allowance. She… she’ll be disappointed.”

“Disappointed or not,” Sirius exhaled, her hand reaching across the table and turning so Teio could take hold of it, “you’ve got me.”

Slowly, Teio’s soft hand slipped into Sirius’s rough one. Their fingers intertwined as their hands rested on the table, her head tilting in a shy, sad smile.

You’ve got me.

It wasn’t hard for her to believe.

Teio eventually left the table, skipping her way to the dessert table to load her plate so high that it wobbled around as she walked. In her chair, Sirius leaned back, tapping away on her phone while she waited for her to come back.

DOGSTAR: Look I talked to her. Don’t make it about money. Don’t ruin this over stupid shit.

DOGSTAR: you need to take her out shopping for baby crap or something. You were there too.

EMPEROR: EMPEROR has notifications silenced. Notify anyway?

Sirius turned her phone off, a sigh escaping her nose as she looked around the buffet for Teio. Instead, her eyebrows furrowed and she sat up a little more, spotting two figures leaving through the door.

The taller held the door for the smaller, also holding a box of togo items in her hand. They were laughing together, the taller’s ears fluttering and tail swishing the way they always did when she successfully flirted with a mare, double if she used a pun.

Sirius pulled her phone back out.

DOGSTAR: does Air Groove know you like them young? isn’t she a bit old for you.

It was surprising to see the train station so crowded this late in the day. This train went directly back to Tracen, but unfortunately in the opposite direction that Sirius had to go. There was a large level of uneasy in Sirius’s chest as she let go of Teio’s hand, watching her begin to descend the steps.

”Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you?” She called after her, causing Teio to look back over her shoulder. She gave a look like Sirius was being silly, sticking her tongue out just a little.

“Stop worrying about me! I promise, I’ll be okay!” She called back, “If I need you, I’ll call you, like you said!”

“Mom really won’t mind if you stay the night!”

“Sirius!” Teio giggled, pausing and getting close to the rail so others could dart around her, “You’re so picky. I have a test tomorrow! I’ll be totally fried if I have to commute in the morning!”

Sirius sighed as Teio turned around again, disappearing down the stairs and into the crowd. She was trying not to smother her, even though she damn well could if she so pleased, whether Teio liked it or not. She’d let it go, though, if only so Teio could have a few minutes on her own. She waited at the top of the steps, watching the rest of the crowd descend into the station, listening to the bell of the train as it approached. She turned herself to leave too, deciding between calling an uber or just getting on the bus, or maybe even running home. She took out her wireless headphones, putting them both in as she started up her running playlist.

Someone bumped her, her phone flying from her hand and onto the sidewalk. Sirius growled in frustration, quickly picking it up from the ground and nearly getting stepped on in the process. When she saw the cracked screen and camera broken down the lens, she whipped around to snap at whoever had bumped into her. Instead, she was stopped in her tracks, watching as the crowd that had flooded into the subway was instead flying out of it, panicked faces of commuters speeding past Sirius and none stopping to explain or help one another. That sinking feeling reached the bottom of her body, her blood running cold. Sirius started to push her way into the train station against the sea of people, her mind assuming the worst. She imagined Teio, robbed and stabbed, or pushed onto the tracks or being strangled by some psycho. Whether she ended up falling down these stairs or pushing someone else down them, she’d get through this crowd and make sure that nightmare had no weight to it.

The pastry creme tasted too sweet on Rudolf’s lips, but she couldn’t help but flirt by licking the whipped topping off Air Groove’s upper lip. She watched her vice president stammer and turn away, her pale skin flushing red as she hid behind her hand. It was made worse when Rudolf chuckled and gently turned Air Groove’s face back towards herself.

“Ah, looks like I got it all,” she teased gently. Air Groove allowed her face to fall into a subtle pout.

It was getting late now. They had eaten dinner together at a cheap restaurant they both enjoyed, and were on their way back to Air Groove’s apartment. Rudolf had agreed to stay the night, citing that it was probably best if she wasn’t alone with her thoughts for the night. She didn’t give a specific reason.

It all went back to Tokai Teio.

Truly, somewhere deep down, Rudolf wanted to help her junior. She wanted to make sure Teio had a good career and felt fulfilled. She thought it might look good for her to have trained the Umamusume said to be her prodigy directly. Maybe it would help dispel the all-true allegations that she had fucked her too.

Rudolf was terrible with gossip; when she first heard the rumor slip out of someone outside the Showa group’s lips, the panic she felt thump in her heart was so strong she thought she was experiencing heart failure. She felt her body slam back against the wall, ears turning as she listened to the Umamusume down the hall continue their conversation:

“…yeah, well, it’s what Mayano Top Gun said. She said they had sex a few months ago.”

“There’s no way. Are you even hearing yourself talk? The President would never do something vulgar like that.”

“I’m just saying what Maya told me.”

“I don’t think that’s true, don’t repeat that. Teio’s kind of the type to stretch the truth. Maya even more so.”

Rudolf had dropped the posters she held in her arms all over the floor. Flyers for extra study group hours flooded the hallway. The two junior Umamusume noticed her then as she scrambled to pick up the papers. They started to help Rudolf, who quickly took the opportunity to scold them both for the nasty rumor. But every whispered conversation sounded like that one in the hallway, every note had an accusation. Soon there were posters up campaigning against gossip and bullying. Slowly, Rudolf felt herself drifting from Teio.

It felt bad at first, but eventually it was natural. It was better this way. Never should she have allowed Teio to get so close to her that she found it okay to show up at her apartment. Never should she have let her drink. Never should she have let her have a taste of Rudolf’s body.

Yet the yearning was intense. It crept up on her when she was writing an email, or ordering lunch, or going for her morning jog. The reminders of how perfectly Teio fit between her hands and between Sirius and herself were somehow living at the bottom of her coffee cup. The memory of Teio trying to sink onto Rudolf's cock replayed during the boring and slow parts of meetings. Her climaxing face found her way into the margins of her notes. It was a horrible, intrusive impulse. Rudolf craved release.

She couldn’t control herself when Teio came to her with the proposition of Rudolf taking over as her trainer. The "absolutely, of course, Teio" left her lips before Teio could explain why she wanted that. She knew now it was to hide her pregnancy better, but at the time, she didn't care. She just wanted to be closer to Teio... without being close.

It was going fine so far, even despite the argument between herself and Sirius that morning. It was easy to turn her mind away from the dirty thoughts when she was only seeing Teio for business. A murmuring voice scolded her for not coming along to the countless appointments, or running to Teio's aid when she had a craving or felt sick, but there was a louder voice told her that she needed to get away from the personal. If she was going to make it out of this alive, it was critical that she let her cravings for closeness only come out when she watched Teio run.

She and Air Groove had been fucking a lot more. Between meetings, under her desk, during their lunch break. Every time a new thought or a recall of a memory popped up, Rudolf was soon after balls-deep in her vice president. It was release; not enough, but enough to keep her from demanding Teio do squats in her lap again. Air Groove didn't seem to mind it so long as she could get her work done after.

They did have a semblance of a romantic relationship. Rudolf respected the Empress for what she was: A strong and powerful Umamusume from a prestigious background, who would one day take over the council, if Rudolf chose her. She was witty and kind, while having a strong resolve that reminded Rudolf of herself. Despite being a bit younger than Rudolf, Air Groove had made it very clear that she was no different than a stallion, and would command the respect of one from Rudolf. Everything was down with a graceful, calculated precision, down to her own pregnancy. She entered a breeding program right after retirement, and produced a filly who was four now. Admiration was easy when you saw someone eye to eye like that. Air Groove reminded Rudolf of what she truly sought in a mare partner– Elegance, grace, prestige, dark hair, light grey eyes, pale skin, tall, Triple Tiara, name starting with an R-

The wound was a few years old when she had slept with Teio. She was still mourning that blunder all this time later, when she really should've moved on.

She had found the letter left on her desk. Actually, Rudolf wouldn't really consider it a letter-- more of a couple line memo telling Rudolf to start bottling things up again.

This will never work.

You know it as well as I do.

I love you, but I can't love you.

Move on.

M.R.

She would be honest if asked about it. It made her angry. She hadn't felt truly angry in many years. Maturity had stolen the privilege away.

None of this would have happened if she had learned to let go years ago. None of it would have occurred if she knew how to separate her feelings from something that was meant to be clinical. If she had never taken her hand and promised the Earth the sun and the stars and the rest of the planets, she wouldn't be crying angry tears, tearing down the turf track in the middle of the night, still wearing her work clothes. It was never either of their faults that it didn't work out, yet it was both their fault at the same time. The rest of the world had forgotten, but Rudolf had not, and that hurt most of all. Next time they saw one another, it would be like the years they spent together meant nothing at all. Amongst their friends would exist a memory that became completely useless because no one would bring it up. To be rejected by someone you considered a close friend was worse than breaking your foot in a race. At least recovery was possible with that.

That night, she ran so much that she ended up hunched over by the benches, vomiting out years worth of leftover feelings of love. Ironically, it was Air Groove who found her, on her way home from a late night. They'd sleep together that night for the very first time.

She found it funny that the night she slept with Teio, Sirius had brought it all up again before she had gotten there.

"You know, I really thought you two would be married by now."

"Air Groove and I?"

"Don't be a dumbass."

The conversation died before the knock at the door. Too much changed from there to bring it up again.

The point was getting away from Rudolf. Air Groove was a good replacement. Air Groove was an honest Umamusume. Rudolf could easily fall deeper in love with Air Groove and was guaranteed strong children with passion running in their blood. They could be happy together, one way or another. Or, at least, if Air Groove didn't love her after all, the sex would be decent, and would keep her brain filled with distraction in between work and rest.

The streets weren't as busy as they normally would be at this hour at night. Most were on their trains or buses home, and the next wave wouldn't come for another fifteen or so minutes. It made for a decent stroll on the sidewalk, the Umamusume couple distracted by a dull conversation about how mild the winter had been. This is what Rudolf appreciated about Air Groove: The absolute mundane. No wildness, no challenging tone, no... taboo. It kept her at ease. Such a dull conversation did not hold for long, and when they came upon a convenience store, Air Groove left Rudolf outside as she went in search of a bottle of milk.

Rudolf took the moment to check her messages. A few missed ones from Sirius went ignored for now, her eyes instead catching on a few missed messages from Tokai Teio.

hachimimaxxing: i think i have to skip tomorrow

hachimimaxxing: i have a test

hachimimaxxing: then day after a appointment

hachimimaxxing: sorry prez... :L

EMPEROR: Did you not just have one? I'm confused. You should have enough time in between no?

hachimimaxxing: well, not really cause McQueen's driver can only take me if I leave early with her cause she's got stuff to do

hachimimaxxing: Sirius said she's gotta go somewhere with her sister

EMPEROR: Have McQueen drop you off as soon as you are done?

Teio puffed out her cheeks in frustration. It happened easy these days, but especially when she texted Rudolf. Didn't she realize this was all a quiz? Maybe she needed to be clearer.

hachimimaxxing: her sisters have races :T so i have to follow her till theyre done

hachimimaxxing: maybe u can take me :D? then we could go get lunch after AND u can finally see the baby!

hachimimaxxing: it is pretty cool to see on the monitor

Swaying side to side, Teio buried her other hand deep in her jacket pocket. Her legs bounced as she waited for Rudolf's response and her train. Looking around the platform, she saw a few familiar faces, like Yukino Bijin and Sakura Laurel. It was common to see them around one another since Laurel would occasionally walk Yukino to cafes she wanted to try. Usually, they were accompanied by Narita Brian, but not today she supposed. Her phone chimed.

EMPEROR: You know my schedule won't allow that.

Before Teio could allow the disappointment to settle in her bones, her head lifted at the sound of commotion. Instantly, her skin crawled in a primal fear. Across the platform, where they had been happily awaiting the train, the duo was now arguing with a man. Yukino Bijin had slinked off to the side shyly in her own panicked fear, and Laurel was trying to pull on the man's arm. There was a third girl that Teio could not see. The man was shaking her and shouting something Teio couldn't fully make out. Something about... his losses? Her losses? With how many of the races, especially G1s, offered betting pools for adults to indulge in and maybe make some money off their favorite Umamusume, it was not uncommon to see someone who had staked far too much. Teio's mother always warned her about those fans; she always told her to never give them the time of day. There were horror stories just like this, of men who had lost everything and blamed the Umamusume, and would do anything to feel better about it.

She didn't understand why no one was doing anything. There was plenty of commuters on the platform that it wouldn't take many others to pull them apart. It seemed like everyone was waiting for the other to do something, or maybe some thought it was a trainer and a trainee type argument. By the time someone decided the man was shaking the third girl too hard, and didn't need to slap Laurel away from himself, the fight had reached an event horizon.

Teio saw every detail as the man pushed her peer and she fell back off the platform. The screams seemed weird and muted under the loud blare of the train and the crunch of bones as they became trapped and mangled on the track. Her brain imagined its own censor, a pixelated blur in her vision as she saw what remained of the student as the train pulled away from the platform. It was red and goopy, kind of like roadkill in the country but more unidentifiable. The type of roadkill your family discusses for days and teenagers make a game out of hitting and mangling it further. The loudest screams came from Laurel, and those were the only ones Teio could hear.

EMPEROR: Teio?

The call interrupted Rudolf's typing. She thought nothing of it as she answered.

"Maru, wh-"

“—been hurt-- bad-- I don't kn— how--" Maruzensky's panicked voice crackled through the phone, but the roar of her car in the background was breaking up any proper sentences she managed to get out. They were all between sobs from her passenger, perhaps one of her offspring that she often drove around for free.

Rudolf was dumbfounded, and it showed on her face to anyone passing by, "Who? Slow down, Maru, explain-"

"You gotta get back to the school," her closest friend cried as they reached a stop. "Please hurry. Please! I think they're holding the students who were there or bringing them here or... I- I don't know! Just hurry! They’re locking down the school too!” 

The line cut, and Rudolf nearly didn't know what to say when Air Groove came out of the store, on the phone with the Director. Rudolf could hear the name being said on the other line and felt her blood running cold. She turned back to her own phone

EMPEROR: I need you back at Tracen NOW.

DOGSTAR: I can’t I’m trapped at the fucking station. Some psycho shoved a girl into a train. They’re keeping everyone in

EMPEROR: …You can’t be serious.

EMPEROR: Why did you go there?!

EMPEROR: Tell them you’re on the council and they’ll let you through.

DOGSTAR: No. They took Teio off with the other girls who saw the accident I wont leave her

EMPEROR: Teio will be fine. I need you here, Sirius. Please.

DOGSTAR: Why do you think she doesn’t need me too?

DOGSTAR: ffs. Shut up already

Posts were flooding Umayon, the most popular social media for Tracen students. As they hurried back towards the school, Rudolf felt her stomach begin to sink lower and lower into her bowels. A student was dead, and the public hadn’t figured that part out yet; the Director was already trying to call her and get ahold of her too, begging her to wrangle the students, to stop the gossip before it got out of hand. Even as they walked into the council room, Narita Brian and Hishi Amazon were stuck picking up the phones as they rang continuously. Terrified parents were trying and failing to find out what was going on when the council barely knew themselves. The President turned away from her comrades as she scrolled her feed. She scanned each post as she tried to gauge the public reaction. She had to make a move. Her finger hovered over the new post button. 

She was freezing. What should she say? What could you say? She couldn’t think over Maruzensky and Sakura Chiyono O as they joined the already crowded war room.

A new post popped up then. A popular gossip independent columnist sat at the top of Rudolf’s feed: UmaGossipAssociation. She was an anonymous journalist who certainly attended Tracen, but Rudolf couldn’t figure out who she was.

UmaGossipAssociation just shared: 

Breaking: Commuting students and salarymen report train accident allegedly involving a Tracen Academy student. Tracen students are being held at the station for questioning and to be safely transported back to the school. At this time there are no reports on the identity of the victim or if this was a suicide.

Another chime. Another post. 

UmaGossipAssociation just shared:

Breaking: Correction on the last post. A man was reported to have shoved the student onto the tracks. Victim unidentified. Sorry. 

Rudolf saw the growing comments section. She clicked on it and swallowed her bile. 

“It— it– the reporters don’t know yet,” she said, not looking back at the others. “They don’t know who was shoved.”

Air Groove had already been in tears, but now her dams had bursted. She trembled enough that she had to sit down to keep from fainting. She collapsed into the chair Rudolf typically sat in at the head of the table, her head falling into her hands.

Air Groove had lost a senior she admired many years ago, which in itself was devastating; to then lose a junior all these years later was crushing her soul. Air Groove felt responsible for all the juniors in the school; she wanted them all to shine, like her mother encouraged her to do the same, as she wanted for her own child. She wasn’t one to often show her emotions yet today she unashamedly wailed. Inconsolable described her best when Hishiama tried to comfort her. She wouldn’t let anyone touch her. Rudolf pitied her. She went back to the comments.

city_xcx commented: Why hasn’t the school announced anything??? Why am I hearing this from a gossip account??? They’ve got us all in the auditorium and no one’s allowed to leave. What’s the student council doing.

@DOGSTAR @EMPEROR @empress_first @shadowrealm @tazunastips

tj_xcx commented: @city_xcx holy shit my sister was supposed to take the M train with her friend and she hasn’t answered anyone’s messages what the fuck usbhapoening

bubblepopelectric commented: Has ANYONE been able to reach the students at the station???

UmaGossipAssociation: @city_xcx @bubblepopelectric @tj_xcx Reportedly the students at the station have been asked not to post or text on social media at this time. We have confirmed the presence of Tokai Teio, Sakura Laurel, Yukino Bijin, Vodka and Daiwa Scarlet. Allegedly Sirius Symboli was also sighted entering the station after the accident occurred.

Rudolf felt sick. She leaned against the wall, her hand trembling as she read the comments over and over again. There had to be something said by a member of the council. She had to be…

EMPEROR quoted this post: We are actively going over current attendance and scheduling. We are as confused as everyone else. I implore you all to stay calm while we navigate the situation.

tj_xcx commented: @EMPEROR yeah easy for you to say when it isn’t YOUR SISTER WHOS MISSING FROM SCHDOOL

Looking up, Rudolf made eye contact with Air Groove, who had finally made it past the first hurdle of mournful realization. Rudolf tried to keep her own face from looking too distraught, wanting to only give the impression that they could still control this situation. 

“A… Air Groove, I made a post, could you add a c- comment?” Rudolf managed with minor choking. 

She flinched when she heard Narita Brian scoff in disbelief, “She’s upset. Don’t ask her to work, get me or someone else to—“

“I- I’m fine,” Air Groove interrupted with an unsure sigh of her own. She wiped the corner of her eye with a tissue Hishiama had handed her and tried to focus, “J- Just stop. Everyone slow down. We need to keep p- people from spreading gossip, yes?”

They acted like news spreading was worse than the news itself.

Empress_first reposted and added: The student council asks students to please stay off their phones and refrain from spreading rumors. Please remember this is a gossip panelist and therefore cannot always be trusted to be telling the truth on active situations and topics.

Foldedd commented: @empress_first thats fuckin insane to say under this post. js

UmaGossipAssociation quoted this post with the caption: @empress_first Can the student council? Asking students to stay off their phones when there’s been an accident is concerning when you should be the ones doing that and getting students home? @tazunastips @chairmantaste comment please. 

Rudolf blocked the gossip page. Her hand slipped her phone on the table like it was red hot. She wiped the sweat off on her shirt.

Pokketo posted: Why the fuck is the school not calling parents? Why aren’t the cops? What the fuck is happening. Where is my kid. 

Gildedstep posted: I don’t often like to involve myself in this sort of thing, but it is strange how the school seems to be almost silent. If there is a confirmed death, why am I hearing it from this profile and none of the official ones?

run2her commented: @gildedstep oddly I don’t think the school is fully informed either. I don’t know what’s worse.

It was then the conference room doors opened. Rudolf’s back straightened as Director Akikawa barged inside, followed closely by her secretary, Tazuna. Behind them were police officers. The room turned ice cold as the doors were shut behind the officers by Maruzensky. A pin could drop and its sound would radiate throughout the entire school.

The president stepped towards the director, her hands shaking for the first time since she accepted her position. Her head bowed slightly, magenta eyes trying and failing to focus on her boss. It didn’t matter what her next words were as they would rattle Rudolf’s bones all the same. She couldn’t lose her job, not yet. She prayed.

”Director…”

“Sakura Bakushin O is dead,” Akikawa said in the simplest way. “Things have to change around here. Our reputation is shot.” 

UmaGossipAssociation: Breaking: It has been confirmed that the umamusume killed by the Y train this evening was famous sprinter Sakura Bakushin O. At this time no further details have come out about the situation. The commuting students are currently still being held by police and are being asked to refrain from using social media or texting platforms by Tracen Academy until students have returned to campus safely. 

It is believed to be a random attack. 

TracenAcdemyOfficial posted: An official post will follow this one on the school’s website. 

It is with a heavy broken heart that I have to share that one of our top students, Sakura Bakushin O, passed away this evening on her way back to school.

Sakura Bakushin O had a confident, bright spirit. She was an amazing racer, sprinter, and class representative who put her passion into every task every day. Tracen was changed by her presence and will be changed by her absence. 

The Akikawa estate will be donating to the family of the deceased to assist in funeral costs. The academy will hold a memorial ceremony for Sakura Bakushin O this Saturday at 3pm for students, and a public service at 5pm. 

A memorial plaque will be placed in the Academy’s hall of fame.

Students are welcome to stay at the dormitories and continue with practice on campus. No classes will be held until Monday afternoon. All tests for the Academy and Trainer program have been rescheduled until next week.

Thank you.

• Director Akikawa 

Air Groove found that she couldn’t respond right away to the final post. She scrolled throughout the comments over and over, reading and rereading the devastation and anger. People are calling for blood, while others just wish Bakushin could come back. Justified rage is being thrown towards the council for requiring students to stay quiet, and even more at the school for holding students on campus until the ones who were stuck at the station returned. 

The students who were stuck at the station all came back on a singular bus an hour after the incident. Air Groove watched the girls who were unfortunate enough to witness the event file out and head towards their dorms like nothing had happened. They were silent; haunted. A sickness overtook her as she watched Sakura Laurel leave the bus, walking with Yukino Bijin, and clutching her hand so tightly that it was turning white. Yukino kept her gaze forward. Eyes wide, she showed no emotion, yet every single one all at once. Air Groove wanted to say something, she wanted to pull Yukino close to herself and allow her to cry in her arms. 

She missed her own baby. She needed to get home. 

Rudolf drove her back to her apartment. The ride was silent, eerily so. Air Groove was glad for that. 

When she moved to get out of the car, Rudolf stopped her, gently grabbing her wrist. Air Groove wouldn’t look at her, but she felt comfort from Rudolf’s warm, firm yet gentle hands. 

“Can I stay the night?” Rudolf pleaded softly, “Please, Air Groove, I don’t think you should be by yourself tonight.” And neither did Rudolf, who had found it took focus to keep her body from continuing to shake. 

The apartment Air Groove rented after graduation was a decent size. She even had a cheesy doormat with paws on it, stating “wipe your paws” in a bold font. Rudolf had bought it for her when she moved in, and it made her smile to see it every time she came in. The interior was simple: Air Groove had a strict aesthetic of light colors and blue and purple flowers, but it was pleasantly broken up by colorful toys left in incorrect places, or Admire Groove’s Sailor Mercury backpack left on the kitchen table. Air Groove let out a soft sigh as she diverted from putting on her housecoat, choosing first to gather up the homework left on the table. It wouldn’t make it to school the next day if she didn’t, which would be unfortunate considering how smart the young umamusume already was. 

“I think I hear the tv,” Rudolf whispered, nodding down the hall. Air Groove made a small noise but didn’t look up as she walked away. 

Leaning in the doorway, Rudolf just… observed the scene for now. There were toys everywhere, from legos to an art kit to dolls that wore mismatched clothes and were missing shoes. The tv played a movie with puppets and a princess that Rudolf didn’t care for, finding it a bit creepy, but Aruve adored. As she came into the living room to turn the tv off, she found Aruve and her babysitter exactly where she was expecting them… cuddled up on the couch, fast asleep.

Gently, Rudolf shook the babysitter’s shoulder, “Hey, wake up…” 

The babysitter in question startled awake. Her purple eyes snapped open and met Rudolf’s quickly. They darted away after, as she tried to gather her surroundings and sit up without disturbing Aruve.

”Sorry…” Fenomeno whispered, rubbing her eye with her fist. “I… meant to put her in bed first, but…”

”It’s okay, Feno.” Rudolf waved her hand comfortingly, “Sorry we kept you here so late. It’s been… crazy.” 

Rudolf waited for the younger Umamusume to get up. She watched as Fenomeno took care to put a blanket over Aruve before she followed Rudolf to the kitchen. Air Groove had gotten started on a quick miso, just something to warm them all before bed. She looked over as Fenomeno came in. 

“Can you be here tomorrow?” Air Groove asked as she went to grab her purse from the coat rack, “What time? …we had a tragedy at the Academy. Unfortunately I have to come in even though I told you I was off. I’m sorry.” 

”Oh,” Fenomeno blinked in surprise. She shook her head, “It’s… Um, I think I’m…”

Whether it was because she’d just woken up or for some other reason, she couldn’t seem to get her thoughts together. If she thought really hard about what her calendar in her dorm looks like… She has training tomorrow, right? It may have been yesterday. She needs to make sure not to miss training, because the last time that happened, her trainer was furious. She’s pretty sure, on second thought, that she doesn’t have training, but she knows she has classes. She has classes every day. Well, almost every day, but the point was understood. Maybe if she was babysitting, Air Groove could get the absence off her record? She wouldn’t mind the break anyway, but—wait. A tragedy at the Academy? If there was a tragedy, wouldn’t…

”Classes at the Academy are cancelled until Monday afternoon,” Air Groove reassured her, noticing that look Fenomeno often got when she was thinking things over. She started counting out bills in her hands, “Even then, those classes are optional to attend until Tuesday. I’ll pay you extra for it, double what it would be normally… Hopefully I can be home before late anyway and not take up your time.”

She added the last part, though she didn’t have to. Often Fenomeno stayed after she was done working for the day to do her homework, or eat a meal with the family, or get pointers on her form while Aruve went to junior practice. 

Fenomeno nodded along, feeling a twisted sense of relief. She was sure she’d come to regret it after finding out what happened, but class being cancelled took a lot off her plate. She hadn’t been able to breathe since enrolling. Classes were every day, and training every other day. Then there was the races, and going home just to be yelled at, then seeing her in the hallway and doing everything she could to avoid interacting with her. Babysitting Aruve was simple; it was fun, and Air Groove was nice in private. She didn’t have to worry about anything except if Aruve tried to eat something she wasn’t supposed to, or wandered off. She preferred it here anyway. 

“That’s okay,” she said. “Um, I’ll come tomorrow, then, I don’t mind. When?”

”Could you be here at nine?” Air Groove asked as she handed her the money, gently holding her hand in her own for a brief moment. It was certainly well over what she was normally paid, “I’m sorry, it’s early, I know, but I’ll have to leave about then and the younger grades have online classes to make up for the days off…” She pulled her hands away, motioning over to the stove as she did so.

”Ah, did you eat? I know you sometimes forget. I’m making miso.”

Fenomeno’s eyes lit up at the offer as she realized she hadn’t. She remembered cooking for Aruve, but she didn’t eat any of it herself. Air Groove’s miso was the best. She walked closer to Air Groove, her ears pointing forward and tail swishing softly behind her.

 “Nine is okay,” she said. “I’d really like some. Um, thank you.”

Air Groove was happy to pour Fenomeno a bowl of soup, giving her a better portion than herself and Rudolf. Together, they sat at the table, quietly eating while Aruve provided little snores in the living room. 

“How was she today?” Air Groove asked softly, finding that the quiet was just reminding her of how horrible things had been that day. Glancing at Rudolf, who was partially glued to her phone, she knew it was similar for her too. 

“She was good,” Fenomeno said between slurping her soup. “She just wanted to play all day.”

”Good,” Air Groove hummed. She watched Fenomeno for a moment, just appreciating a reasonable view of some kind of future she could imagine for Admire Groove. Fenomeno was such a kind, responsible Umamusume, with an impressive record to boot. She was a good influence for her daughter. She glanced at the microwave clock behind Fenomeno’s head, and looked over at Rudolf. 

She sighed in annoyance; it didn’t matter how many times she said to her that the Umayon comments were pointless, she stayed concerned with them. Rudolf even had a grimaced look as she started down at her phone. 

EMPEROR: Did she get back fine? I didn’t see her on the bus

DOGSTAR: staying in my dorm tonight.

EMPEROR: That is a rotten idea if I have ever heard it. 

DOGSTAR: ok.

EMPEROR: Stop being so cold. I am just pointing out that yo

Rudolf choked on her soup as Air Groove kicked her leg under the table. She dropped her phone, looking up at Air Groove in startled confusion. Air Groove glared and nodded towards Fenomeno. Sometimes she wished she didn’t understand Air Groove’s telepathic instructions.

”Ah… Fenomeno? Do you need a ride home?” Rudolf asked, glancing back at Air Groove, who gave a nod of approval. 

Fenomeno glanced between Air Groove and Rudolf, her ears angling back the slightest amount. She enjoyed spending time here, but the tension between the two made her uneasy at times. She offered a meek shrug in response.

”Um… I was just gonna run back home.”

”There’s some weirdos out today,” Rudolf insisted still. “Let me at least get you close to your place.” 

Air Groove nodded as she started to gather the empty bowls, “That would help me feel better too. I’ll pack the miso so you two have lunch tomorrow too.”

”Thanks, boss…”

Air Groove didn’t love it when Fenomeno called her that, but she wouldn’t stop her from saying it. In a way, it was charming. At worst, it made Air Groove feel like a cruel employer. 

The movie ended as Rudolf and Fenomeno left the apartment. The heavy sound of the door closing wasn’t muffled by the tv, and Air Groove held her breath as she listened. She was met by a soft whine, and shuffling, and she let out a heavy sigh.

”Mamechin…” Aruve whimpered as she trotted around the living room, “Mamechin…?” She wandered into the hallway as she dragged her blanket behind her, rubbing the sleep from her eyes with her little fist. She stopped when she saw her mother emerge to intercept her from the kitchen. Instantly, the blanket was abandoned as she ran towards her mother, jumping into her arms. 

Air Groove gave her a gentle squeeze, burying her face in her blue hair and trying hard not to start crying again. She couldn’t fathom how much pain Bakushin’s mother was in at this very moment. The thought of being separated from her darling child was almost too much to even imagine. It had been a long journey to be standing here, hugging her now. She never wanted to get into broodmare duties so soon, but sometimes one didn’t have much of a choice, and it became a “now or never” deal. She didn’t regret it; Aruve was a smart, kind child with much to offer the world. One day, she would tear down the track, and inspire those around her just like her dam, and her dam before her. 

”I missed you, Ado,” Air Groove said, kissing the top of her head as she carried her towards her bedroom. “Did you have fun today?”

”Yes, mama. Where’s Mamechin?” Aruve asked, settling her head against Air Groove’s shoulder as she yawned. 

Air Groove glanced at Aruve, puzzled by the name. Usually, she called Fenomeno “Feno”, not “Mamechin”. Where had she gotten that? 

“You mean Rudo? She’ll be back here soon—“

”No, mama, Mamechin,” Aruve reiterated, a scolding tone in her voice like Air Groove had gotten a question wrong. “She was sleeping on the couch with me. Did she go home?”

So she did mean Fenomeno… “Yes, sweetie. But she’ll be back in the morning, okay?”

”Good,” Aruve yawned again. “We didn’t finish our movie…”

Air Groove didn’t question it for now as she laid Aruve down in her bed. She pulled the comforter up, tucking the little girl as she sat beside her. She stroked her hair and her ears, watching as sleep was slowly taking back over.

If you had asked Air Groove six years ago if she was going to become a mother, she would’ve answered with hesitation, a sideways glance, and a stutter. She couldn’t imagine her life without Aruve now. The world around them proved to be scarier and crueler every day, and Air Groove would do whatever it took to shield her from it. That included shielding her from her own sire, down to putting a tracker in her backpack. Air Groove tended to be so paranoid about her daughter that she sometimes forgot to protect herself too. She was sure she would have a nightmare tonight; thank the Goddesses Rudolf was coming back.

She heard the front door open, close and lock, and the shuffling of shoes as Rudolf changed and walked down the hall. She kissed Aruve on the forehead before standing up and slowly sneaking out of the little one’s room. 

As she shut the door behind her, she felt Rudolf’s hands gently grab her hips, then snake around her waist. Their bodies pressed together and Rudolf inhaled her scent softly. Air Groove sighed softly and knew what Rudolf was after already; who said good sex wasn’t a way to mourn? Even despite the day she had, there was a level of natural interest that Air Groove felt as they kissed each other in the hallway, their tongues clashing and connecting their bodies between a thick line of saliva. Umamusume had high sex drives; emotional moments were often worked through with sexual actions. It helped the mind with coping to explore one’s desires. 

Air Groove was well-liked for her ability to take all of her stallion partner’s penis all the way within her throat. Rudolf was a big fan of the tight warmness, and sometimes would barely move while Air Groove swallowed her. She loved that she allowed her to cum down her throat too, and Air Groove just liked the ability to please her Emperor. 

Seeing as this was more for her Emperor than for the Empress tonight, Air Groove laid on her stomach with her arms around a pillow while Rudolf laid on top of her and fucked her to her heart’s content. It felt good, and Air Groove was careful not to moan too loud by burying her face in the pillow, but more importantly Rudolf was getting her frustrations out. Shoving her dick in and out of Air Groove’s pussy helped her forget the stress from the pass few days. Admittedly, she was maybe being too rough, her dick hitting the back of Air Groove’s pussy and causing her to curl in tighter on herself. For some reason, Rudolf couldn’t stop to care, and so long as Air Groove didn’t tell her to she wouldn’t stop anyway. Her forehead rested against Air Groove’s back as she focused on filling the mare with enough cum that she could see it leaking out of her; she wanted to fuck her until she was too tired to think about her day anymore than she already had. Her muscular yet scarred arms and hands from years of racing and dedication held Air Groove’s small waist and kept her pushed up against her body. The way she felt, squishing and squeezing around Rudolf, drove her up the wall. The only pussy that felt better and tighter than this was Teio’s–

Rudolf grunted, pushing Air Groove down as she dug deeper. Dug harder. Her nails dug into her skin too.

As Air Groove squirmed beneath Rudolf, her milky pussy absorbing the sweat and the cum Rudolf shoved deeper into her, her eyes wanderd towards a vibration on her mattress. Rudolf had tossed her phone aside near Air Groove’s head. Neither must’ve noticed. Her eyes lidded as she looked to the notifcations, of course assuming that it had to be Sirius or perhaps Brian, or maybe even the director. 

hachimimaxxing: i guess.
hachimimaxxing: i have that appointment still. please come. it would mean a lot 

Air Groove’s eyebrows furrowed in concern, her mind racing to make her own sense of the message. Rudolf was too busy raising their chances of siring a child to notice her grabbing the phone. She carefully entered the password as she tucked it under her pillow. She pretended to be hiding her moans as she scrolled up through the messages. 

hachimimaxxing: how could you act so mean?

hachimimaxxing: I wish you would drop the whole president thing and just be honest

EMPEROR: What??

EMPEROR: Teio we’ve been in a panic in the office over this this entire time

hachimimaxxing: everyones scared and doesn’t know what’s going on so why would you tell them not to call or text or post anything that’s not fair

EMPEROR: That isn’t what I meant by any of that. Again, we have been in a panic over this

EMPEROR: You cant honestly believe that spreading rumors would help any of what’s going on

hachimimaxxing: it’s not about the people spreading rumors it’s about the people trying to make sure their family or daughters or sisters are okay

EMPEROR: That isn’t what we were trying to stop. I would expect you to understand that

hachimimaxxing: idk I don’t get it

hachimimaxxing: maybe I’m in shock or something 

hachimimaxxing: through all this and you haven’t asked once if I was okay or tried to reach out to me. Sirius came running to find me 

EMPEROR: Well, Sirius isn’t the student council president. Sirius didn’t have the responsibility of figuring out what was going on

hachimimaxxing: you also have a responsibility making sure I wasn’t the one hit by a train

hachimimaxxing: your dick was in me too iirc.

Air Groove’s breath hitched as she read the last message, and felt Rudolf’s hand shove her down into the pillow. It felt like her body tensed harder, suddenly her pussy becoming a barren wasteland. The messages were foul, and she had a feeling they had backing. Rudolf had mentioned to her that Teio wasn’t “doing well”, and she heard from Mr CB about a mysterious pregnancy test incident at the Showa cabin. Her body became tenser as the dots connected and her brain told her she’d need to search for more when Rudolf released her. This was starting to hurt. 

“Ah— Rudolf,” she whined, realizing quickly that this needed to end. “T- that’s— ow—“ 

“I- I’m close again,” Rudolf muttered in a placating way. “Please, Ramo, just let me finish, then we can be done.”

Deflated didn’t cover the entire emotion; enraged didn’t cover the confusion or the hurt; yet at the same time, Air Groove was, for once, glad Rudolf’s brain decided to slip away from Air Groove and instead focus on someone else. She’d need something to kill Rudolf’s seed in the morning too. 

She forced her hips up, pushing back against Rudolf and feigning moans and panting like a bitch in heat. She felt disgusting with Rudolf inside of her now, Teio’s message echoing endlessly in her mind. Knowing her dick, which had slotted in and out of her hole so often that it felt like it owned her, had been inside an innocent girl like Teio was eating her alive. 

Rudolf groaned in a triumphant finish, finally. She planted kisses on Air Groove’s back, but Air Groove worked to wiggle free quickly. She picked up Rudolf’s phone, pretending like she made a mistake and thought it was her own as she got off the bed. Her legs wobbled from fear and from soreness.

“I’m going to take a quick shower,” Air Groove lied, heading to her personal bathroom. Rudolf shifted to follow, but Air Groove slammed and locked the door before she even got off the bed, leaving her only a little confused. The stud was still in a daze from her escapade as she laid back on the fluffy bed.

EMPEROR: You cannot be serious…

EMPEROR: Teio, I’m sorry, but my responsibility lies with all of my students before any specific one. That’s the way it has always been.

EMPEROR: It isn’t that I wasn’t concerned for you.

EMPEROR: not at all

EMPEROR: But you know the things I have to take care of first.

Air Groove screenshotted this conversation first; texting it to herself felt risky but she doubted Rudolf would check her notifications. Scrolling back she saw pictures Teio would send of herself scantily clad, and Rudolf’s demands she stop sending them, but there was always a lack of real action. She went to Sirius’s messages and although she wasn’t surprised, she screenshotted what she could of their conversations mentioning “that night” and Teio. The mind does terrible things, and all Air Groove could think of with Rudolf’s cum dripping down her leg was if this was her lovely Ado, her dearest Aruve. The fear of her being preyed on kept Air Groove up at night enough as is; if it was because of someone she trusted? If it was teacher, or a trainer she looked up to? If it was Symboli Rudolf, her favorite out of her mother’s companions— hell, a woman she considered her step-mother… 

Air Groove began to puke in the bathroom. She unlocked the door right before she did it, because she knew she couldn’t hide it from Rudolf. To the stallion’s credit, she was at Air Groove’s side in an instant, holding hair and rubbing backs. 

She allowed her to take care of her for the last time that night. She wanted the last memories of them together alone to be a good memory before it all became bad. 

The next morning it felt like Air Groove was moving in slow motion. She made Rudolf, Aruve and Fenomeno, who was rather chipper that morning, a breakfast of eggs, steamed rice and some grilled fish she cut into stars for Aruve. She was so exhausted that she forgot to eat too.

She could still feel Rudolf pressed against her cervix as she reread the text messages from Tokai Teio on her own phone. Her head had not stopped pounding, and despite the hour long, freezing cold shower, she didn’t feel clean at all. Even as Rudolf kissed her cheek and her sweet daughter giggled and played with her, she felt bile swimming in her gut again. She prayed that Rudolf did not manage to fill her empty womb last night, that the old medicine in her cabinet was working. 

Her head turned as Rudolf held up a piece of fish on a fork, eyebrows raised high. She was in a good mood too, which confused Air Groove further.

“You need to eat, too, dear,” Rudolf reminded her gently. Air Groove forced herself to take the bite like the good woman she was.

Her hug with Aruve lasted longer that morning, and an extensive warning to Fenomeno about being aware of her surroundings when out with Aruve was passed on. They were not to go further than the park by the house, and if they went, they needed to call her before, during and after to alert her of their location. That, and they had to take Aruve’s tracker too. That part Aruve pretended not to understand or hear. They waved them off as Air Groove and Rudolf headed to the car.

She kept her back straight against the chair as they drove down the road. There were detours and road blocks because of the investigation, track cleanup and manhunt. Air Groove didn’t understand how a stallion like that could get away with it—

…no, a man, a man had killed Bakushin. 

Her eyes drifted to Rudolf.

“…President,” She sighed softly. “Answer me something.” 

Rudolf reacted, but only barely. The ear closest to Air Groove twitched and rotated towards her. That and a small hum of acknowledgment was almost all she got. She used her words, though, when she realized Air Groove wouldn’t answer her silence.

“Yes? What?” 

Air Groove had to move carefully. She was Rudolf’s right hand for a reason, and cleverness was one of her best assets. The issue came in what she should ask first. 

“Have you… spoken to Tokai Teio recently? She doesn’t nearly come by the office as much anymore. And… she was at the station last night, wasn’t she?” 

As if Air Groove weren’t already worried about the eggshells cracking underneath her feet, Rudolf’s face twisted in an instant. Her eyes narrowed and her nostrils flared. It wasn’t a lot, but it was a silent alert.

“She was,” she responded too professionally. “I have not had the time to personally follow up with her.”

“Maybe you should invite her to have her lunch in the office,” Air Groove responded. She followed that reaction closely, her eyebrows slowly rising. If Rudolf wanted to dance, she knew how to waltz, both as the leader and the follower. She hesitated, then tacked on, “And Sirius too?” 

It was a bad idea, tacking that last bit on. Rudolf’s suspicion was rising. If she wasn’t careful, her anger would rise just as quick.

“What makes you suggest that?”

Air Groove’s eyebrow twitched. Normally, even if it was someone Rudolf didn’t like, she’d sigh and say well I suppose or I guess I’ll consider it, but never did she question Air Groove, because she knew Air Groove had her reasons that she would always reveal very quickly. 

Air Groove thought about the texts again. She thought of how young Teio was, and how afraid she was herself when pregnant with Aruve. Something… snapped very quickly. She decided if she was going to play chess, she’d play aggressive. For Aruve; for Teio; for anyone else people like Rudolf hurt. 

“Just think she might be hungry after the appointment. I think they both will be.” 

Rudolf and Air Groove both jerked forward. Rudolf slammed on the breaks so hard, in fact, that her nose almost slammed into the steering wheel. She turned to face Air Groove fully, something indistinguishable behind her eyes–something angry.

“Excuse me?” She exhaled, like she was hoping it was a slip of the tongue. Maybe she did, even though she knew it wasn’t.

Air Groove kept her eyes forwards at first, letting the choking feeling from the seatbelt subside before she slowly turned to look at Rudolf. She kept her face blank and strong, instead allowing her face to stay in that permanent glare she usually had. For once, having a resting bitch face was doing her some good. 

Playing stupid always made Air Groove angry; if you had nothing to hide, why pretend you didn’t know what she was talking about at all? People were terrible at acting clueless. 

“I saw your messages last night. Your phone was still open,” Air Groove said slowly, her words measured and practiced in her mind. “On LINE, between you and Teio. Don’t try to convince me it isn’t real. I saw Sirius’s messages too.”

She blinked away tears. Why should she shed them over a pervert like her? 

“I should’ve known. Your finances have been odd. Your schedule odder. Why?” 

Perhaps she’s just upset I didn’t tell her about it, Rudolf hoped in the back of her mind, That she isn’t the only mare in my life? 

“It… it’s nothing like that, Air Groove,” Rudolf began to laugh. “Honestly, I never took you as the jealous type.”

“You think I’m jealous?” Air Groove hissed through clenched teeth, and Rudolf felt her heart drop further in her stomach, if that was even possible. Her smile dropped too as she looked at Air Groove in feigned confusion, “What is wrong with you?”

“I don’t… follow.” Rudolf lied. 

“How could you betray Teio’s trust like that? Take advantage of her like that?”

“Take advantage of her?” Rudolf couldn’t help but echo. “I didn’t… She came to me on her own.”

“She’s 16. You are not!” Air Groove’s voice was rising, even if she didn’t mean for it to happen that way, “You took advantage of the fact that you knew she trusted you. That you were sure she wouldn’t– turn around and tell on you, that’s what it is, isn’t it?!” 

Her body shifted to face Rudolf, her hand on the dashboard. 

“Do you feel nothing about this?! No guilt?! No shame?!” 

Rudolf’s eyes darted to the side. Air Groove was beginning to… well, not frighten her. She was getting uncomfortable. She was starting to feel like she’d been caught with her hand in the cookie jar, like she’d been caught doing some horrible and unforgivable act. She hadn’t, had she?

“This can be fixed,” Rudolf chose to say. She attempted to keep her voice level, but she couldn’t hear through the pounding of her heart.

“How will you fix this?” Air Groove crossed her arms slowly, breathing heavy as she tried to match Rudolf’s volume, “How can you? She’s pregnant. From the sounds of it, she’ll have her filly or colt any day now. Are you taking responsibility?” 

She reached for her phone, suddenly opening it as she glared down at the snapshots she snuck the night prior, “You know this ends a lot of things for her too, right? It isn’t about your reputation.” 

Rudolf’s eyes darted back to Air Groove. They landed on her phone. She felt the cameras on her, then. She felt the sweat bead up on her forehead. She couldn’t hear anything Air Groove was saying, she realized. She didn’t say anything either as she snatched the phone out of her hand.

“Rudolf!” Air Groove gasped in disbelief. She reached for her phone back, grunting as Rudolf held her arm out and blocked her. 

Something deep in Rudolf’s soul was waking back up when she scrolled through the camera roll, seeing the many snapshots of her phone and her messages, all taken while she slept next to Air Groove. She was feeling like a caged animal again, growing enraged that someone was trying to challenge her, that someone was questioning her abilities or her character. The mighty lion can only tolerate so much, and eventually all that pacing turns into a snapping jaw when a handler returns to her cage to provoke her some more. It didn’t matter how much love the lion may have for her caretaker, in that moment she’s nothing more than a threat with that whip. 

“Give me my phone back. Now. How dare you treat me like this!” 

“How dare you?” 

Rudolf’s voice was louder, now, and deep too. She noticed Air Groove flinch. It didn’t mean much to her in the moment. She scrolled through the photos, deleting each and every one.

“How- How dare you question my authority? My judgement? You think I’m a fool, is that it?”

Air Groove felt her ears fall against her hair. Her bluish grey eyes widened as Rudolf got louder, the car suddenly feeling absurdly small. 

“I never said that–” Air Groove argued back. She tried to grab her phone back again, spotting a text notification from Fenomeno, mentioning how they’d be off to the park around noon. She reached in desperation only to be shoved back against the door. Her head bounced on the window, her vision clouded with the stars coming down to earth momentarily. Groaning, she rubbed her head, “G- give me my phone, Meno is texting me– You can’t do this. I’m going to do something. I’ll tell Brian…”

Her words became airy, like she couldn’t even hear herself. Rudolf shoved her harder than she thought. Was there a lump on her head? 

“Brian, she’ll kill you when she learns… I’ll tell the Director too, Rudolf. You pervert–” 

The last picture disappeared beneath Rudolf’s thumb, just as more texts rolled in. 

Not from Fenomeno. Not about the park.

DOGSTAR: hey, i know you don’t really like me, but I got your info from naka who got it from her sister
DOGSTAR: semantics
DOGSTAR: anyway i hope youre ok after everything. thats horrible. i know you kinda cared about her. i really cant imagine what id do if that was me. if i lost
DOGSTAR: someone young i cared for
DOGSTAR: i hope this isnt out of pocket but. could you do me a favor
DOGSTAR: i need you to talk some sense into Rudo for me. she wont listen to me anymore
DOGSTAR: but i guess your pussy has magical powers that make her listen to you
DOGSTAR: haha
DOGSTAR: sorry lol
DOGSTAR: but seriously if you could help me let me know
DOGSTAR: im free today too if you want to grab a coffee
DOGSTAR: thanks groove 

Rudolf was losing her vision. Her nostrils flared and the car felt too small. Her clothes felt too tight. With each message, her fury kept boiling. By the time the third one came in, she reeled her head back. As she read the last, her arm came back as well. Side windows of cars are made with tempered glass. That’s so, if they shatter, big shards of glass don’t slice your skin open. Instead, thousands of tiny pieces rained down on Air Groove’s head as her phone crashed through the window. 

Air Groove screamed, her hands flying up to protect herself as the glass came down. She could hear Rudolf shifting back into position, shifting the car back into gear, getting ready to go. Her hands moved before she could follow what she was doing, having not been this afraid since she had an accident on the track many years ago now. The door opened for her and her body carried Air Groove out from the car, her head turning back only briefly when Rudolf grabbed her arm.

“Air Groove! Wait, w– wait, I didn’t mean it–” 

She let her blouse tear in Rudolf’s hand as she stumbled back, tripping on the curb and hurting her ankle as she went down. In the car, reaching out to her, was a woman she did not recognize. Gone was the coolheaded, clever and sweet woman she had grown to love and care about, replaced instead by a startled, enraged lion who was supposed to remain caged up. Air Groove had always heard that Symboli Rudolf, when she was an active racer, had a wild and untamable temper. That she often argued, bit, and pushed, and when threatened would… do anything, anything to feel “safe” again. The mare’s long, beautiful legs pushed her up, and allowed her to escape the lion’s gaze, Air Groove fleeing down the street.

She didn’t hear the car turn around, but she didn’t trust her ears right now. All she trusted was her legs as she hoped and prayed she could bring herself back towards her apartment. Naturally, she kept glancing back over her shoulder, cursing herself from leaving the phone behind. There was always a chance it remained usable and now she was abandoning it. Maybe she shouldn’t head back to the apartment, and possibly bring Rudolf there too, begging and pleading for forgiveness, but instead head to the police department. There was no police department near her house. She needed a ride– her legs wouldn’t carry her all over Tokyo at rush hour looking for a cop. More importantly, she needed a phone.

There was a car parked on the corner. It was a shitty looking white Mitsubishi, with a busted side mirror and a backseat full of boxes of what looked like manga, tapes, DVDs and other miscellaneous garbage. Air Groove just felt relieved that in the front seat was a Umamusume with her legs curled to her chest. The stallion, with her ear accessory on the appropriate side, didn’t look up as Air Groove approached, instead too busy with a bao bun and a racing magazine. 

Air Groove practically collapsed against the window, her fist rapidly banging on it. She must’ve looked insane, “Hey! Help! I need help!”

The Umamusume inside nearly jumped out of her skin. She looked at Air Groove in shock, recognition hitting her face instantly with zero doubt in her eyes. She adjusted her dirty, square glasses, leaning across and unlocking the door for Air Groove. Her bao bun sat scattered over her magazine in her lap, but she didn’t seem to care as she watched Air Groove in awe as she climbed into the passenger’s seat, miraciously clean compared to the rest of the vehicle. 

“Y… you’re… !” 

“I am,” Air Groove heaved, throat dry, vision blurring and fading in and out, “I need… help me…” 

✴︎ 

As the emergency repairman worked to fixed Symboli Rudolf’s busted window, her phone laid limply in her lap. She had deleted as many of the messages as she could off her phone. She even considered changing accounts, but thinking up a lie gave her a headache. For now she sat back on one of the benches and watched the repairman as he worked. She didn’t turn as she heard Narita Brian’s unmistakable heavy footsteps coming up beside her, but she did tilt her head in acknowledgement. 

“Have you heard from her?” Brian asked around a cigarette hung loose in her mouth. She really could stand to quit that habit, but Rudolf wouldn’t heckle today. Instead she held her hand out for it. She waited as Brian handed it to her and lit the end. “Seriously?”

“I didn’t say anything to you about it,” Rudolf sighed as she sucked on the stamina-destroying stick. She shook her head to answer the first question, “I haven’t.”

“It’s been hours,” Brian grunted as she took her cigarette back. “Seriously? Nothing? She ran off at a stop sign and you haven’t heard from her since?”

“She smashed my window in with her phone, I wasn’t immediately thinking to ask her why or where she was off to…”

Brian didn’t answer. Rudolf looked up at her then and saw that she looked rough, sporting a busted lip and a bruised eye. She looked away as her mind wandered to what might happen if Brian found out the truth. Even though she looked rough, Rudolf knew the other person had to have looked much worse. 

“I’ll check her apartment when they finish with my car.”

“‘Kay,” Brian grunted out of the side of her mouth, “So long as we find her, I don’t care.”

An hour passed, and Brian went back inside the school to ask around. Rudolf sat in her fixed car for a long time as she considered her options. She could hypothetically drive around Tokyo and see if she saw Air Groove anywhere, or could go to the police station and formally report her missing. Though, it was likely they would tell her she’d have to wait. It was probably best to check the apartment first– in her fear, she likely ran home, and they weren’t that far from it in the first place. 

On her way she managed to get ahold of Fenomeno, explaining to her what was going on and just asking if Air Groove was there. Of course, she wasn’t. No one could get ahold of Air Groove or had seen her since that morning. 

Rudolf slowed the car as she approached where the argument had happened. Her eyes drifted down to the road as she searched and prayed and hoped Air Groove’s phone wasn’t there. Despite her prayers, the phone was exactly where she thought it would be; smashed by cars running over it all day in the middle of the road. 

“Fucking Hell,” Rudolf grumbled as her head rested against the steering wheel. She closed her eyes, “Why, why, why… Why couldn’t you just…”

Her words echoed in her head: pervert, pervert, pervert. Air Groove was acting like Rudolf was some dangerous, evil person. She wasn’t! She cared for the Umamusume at the school, for those who were her junior. All of this was just one big mistake, and she couldn’t spend the rest of her life defending herself. 

Rudolf’s head lifted in a sudden realization. 

She… wouldn’t need to if she just denied it. The only one who had seen the texts, besides Teio and Sirius who held the same secret, was Air Groove. With Air Groove missing, that was the loose end neatly tied. It made her feel guilty to leave Aruve with no answers, to leave the rest of their friends the same– unless she lied, and just said Air Groove ran off, which… it wasn’t a lie… It was easy to feign a resignation notice, and being Aruve’s designated guardian, she could decide where the little girl went. It narrowed her choices down for a successor too. Perhaps things were just falling into place. 

Symboli Rudolf glanced in the mirror and found she barely recognized who gazed back. She hadn’t felt this… intense since she was running in the Twinkle series herself. Her hands were tied by Sirius months ago, never should she have let her nor Teio into her apartment that night. It was too late to go back now anyway. Sometimes, one had to make the decision to save themselves. Aruve would be alright, Rudolf was without her mother; and Teio… she supposed she had Sirius now. It was best to turn things back into the way they used to be. Professional.

The Emperor intended on ending her rule properly and formally. She wouldn’t let a controversy be the mark she left on Japan, or the most recent memory in her fans’ minds. Instead, she would continue on as if it were months ago, back when she was in her right mind. She’d keep up the front until the very end. Just as she always did.

✴︎

The Tokyo Racecourse usually reinvigorated any Umamusume even if they weren’t racing just by the energy within the stadium itself. Even for a G3, a large crowd was drawn, families making a whole day at watching all the races held that day. The Diamond Stakes were next. Meant for Umamusume who were finished with their classic and senior year, an opportunity to showboat and buff out their record if they so pleased. 

Despite talking, begging, and bribing, there wasn’t any convincing Tokai Teio not to run today. Her family had come to watch her. She couldn’t… give up. Not yet. This might be her last time racing… ever. Sirius had to understand that. Teio had given her a kiss before leaving for her changing room, and saw the grimace on her face. The tension was getting to her; Her legs felt weak, her head, worse. But she would make it. She would cross that finish line one more time. 

The stands were crowded, but there was always at least one empty block. That block was sponsored and owned by the Mejiro family. It was where their family always sat to watch a race, ever since the stadium was built. Mejiro McQueen sat there now, peering down at the track as they prepared. She felt a sinking feeling in her body, like she needed to get up and do something. Like she should go down to the dressing room and stop Teio. But she didn’t. Instead she sat alone and waited for her friend to come out.

Hands suddenly grabbed her shoulders, nails digging into the skin and jostling her forward and back. She should’ve been the only one up there besides security—

“Do you know how easily I could’ve just snatched you? Carried you off never to be seen again? Or shoved you down the seats?” 

That voice, that irritating voice answered her panicked questions, and suddenly McQueen just felt angry; there was no way she was even supposed to be allowed in, so how…?!

“Sunday Silence,” McQueen sighed. She put her palms on the seats and dug them in, trying to catch herself. If she would just… Stop… Shaking her…

McQueen finally broke free and whipped around with a glare, locking her eyes with Sunday Silence’s golden ones. Her ears were pinned back and her face was contorted in a frustrated and angry look. She felt her eyebrow twitch as well.

The whole time she stared at Sunday, her mouth was pressed into a thin line. She never spoke a word, but she calculated. She tried her hardest to psychologically damage Sunday through her glare for a while, but then her eyes darted around. To the entrance and exits, then the fire exits as well. She calculated her surroundings. She then concluded she would need to have a very lengthy and serious discussion with security to ensure a mistake like this doesn’t happen again.

…Then, Sunday Silence would find a new trick to follow her around…

McQueen turned back around with a huff, sitting prim and proper once again. She folded her hands in her lap, she angled her head slightly up, and she pointed her ears forward. She was always quick to recover like that. Being a Mejiro lady meant having grace.

“How did you get in?” She asked bluntly.

“How’d you get in,” mocked Sunday Silence. For her elder age, she was still as spindly and flexible as a colt. She nimbly climbed over the seat, settling in beside McQueen. Her leg kicked up on the seats ahead of her, and the other spread until their knees were touching. Her arm lazily laid on the back of the seats behind McQueen, her other hand picking at her teeth. 

“I got in because everyone knows me,” she responded properly, her eyebrow twitching, “and I know everyone. Why are you at this stupid thing anyway? You cancelled on me.” 

Her chest heaved a soft sigh, her body fighting not to show any ounce of disappointment beyond frustration towards McQueen. 

In her later years and in returning to Tokyo, Sunday Silence had began to… integrate herself with the Mejiros once again. She was back where she had been years ago in the breeding program but… much less nowadays. Her real passion was found in the fascinating stud who was taking it over.

She and McQueen had crossed paths a few times in the hallways. They had seen each other in negotiations and meetings, and their eyes always seemed to drift together. Sunday Silence had seen her race more than once. She admired her. She found her more tantalizing than any mare in the Mejiros, perhaps even more than Mejiro Ramonu herself— Well, let’s not go crazy.

Being a stud, McQueen wouldn’t just agree to have sex for no reason. But she knew what Sunday Silence was wanting when she looked at her; so, she made an offer. They could become casual together, so long as Sunday Silence paid for anything she wanted to do first.

And oh… she was more than willing to do that. Anything to get closer to McQueen.

She reached up and started to play with McQueen’s lilac hair, her fingers running through the bottom of it, “What’s more important than my money and my dick?”

“Mine.” 

Responses like that killed Sunday Silence’s smile in an instant. Her stroking of McQueen’s hair came to a brief halt, instead pulling on one of the strands instead.

“So what, you’re scouting today?” She huffed, annoyed at the way McQueen wouldn’t even look her way, “That it? At a G3? Seriously?” 

McQueen sighed. Her arms crossed, and she rolled her eyes. Despite that, it was impossible to miss her settling deeper into her seat—and into Sunday Silence‘s side.

“Is that what I said?” She grumbled. “No. I’m here for another reason.”

She considered, for a moment, whether or not she wanted to explain those reasons to Sunday Silence. Sunday is an irritating woman, and she likes to stretch and push and pull things. Sharing information with her when it isn’t necessary is nearly always a poor choice. Regardless, she found herself preferring to open her mouth again before Sunday could. She just needed to be careful.

“Tokai Teio is racing today.”

“Oh?” Sunday tilted her head to the side. Her ear twitched and flicked, “Really? I didn’t know she was racing again.”

For once Sunday Silence knew not to start poking too far. Teio and McQueen shared a bond that was hard to drive a wedge between or even poke fun at. Plus, Sunday didn’t want to deal with being asked to leave. She was enjoying the warmth from McQueen leaning against her side.

“She’s gotten kinda fat lately,” she hummed anyway. “Not too much, but a little, huh?” 

“She’s pregnant,” McQueen responded bluntly. “You’ve been in our breeding program for how long? You should know the smell of a pregnant mare by now.”

Sunday Silence laughed rather loudly at that. “I do, I just wanted to hear it from you. Yeah, she’s about to pop, she stinks something awful,” she responded, still snickering as she continued. “Running in a race with a condition like that…? Is she trying to kill it or herself?”

“I don’t know.”
McQueen’s voice took on an edge, a sharp but guarded one. She was uncomfortable with this herself, then. “I warned her many times that this would be dangerous. She isn’t listening to me and, from what I’ve heard, she isn’t listening to anyone else on the matter either.”

Sunday Silence stopped laughing. Her body turned a little stiff when McQueen got more… shut off. She quickly realized that, yeah, maybe it wasn’t wise to be laughing at a time like this. It disturbed even her that Teio would run a race this far along, even more so as she saw the mare stepping onto the turf down below.

She was doing that dressage move she liked to show off as she walked along the railing, waving to fans and signing posters. As Sunday leaned up a little bit, even from the nosebleeds, she could see she wasn’t particularly doing well. 

“Wait a minute,” Sunday grunted, shaking her head as she nodded towards the crowd. Teio was now talking to her ex-trainer, Okino. He was grabbing her hands, seemingly giving her encouragement despite being dropped, and all she was giving back was a weary smile, “I told you how I know your bum trainer. Why is he putting her out there? He could lose his license for endangerment.” 

“He isn’t training her anymore,” McQueen sighed. She seemed to exhale all of her strength with it. She leaned further into Sunday’s side. She lifted a hand, rubbing her face as she continued, “She backed out of the team. She’s being led by Symboli Rudolf now.”
Her hand dropped again and she looked up at Sunday, “I can’t recall if I’ve told you this. She is one of the potential sires.”

Sunday’s eyebrows raised as she looked down at McQueen. Not because it was taboo or because she was against it, but because-

“That’s not going to end any way you want it to,” she grunted. “You tell her to just forget that and pick the other one, Symboli Rudolf will never do what you want her to. You know she has a child with your sister too?” 

McQueen’s eyebrow raised. She looked back down to the track, “...I was unaware. How do you know this?”

Sunday Silence snorted, shrugging only one shoulder in a lazy motion, “I keep up with your sister. The baby of the century was announced, then suddenly…” She waved her hand in front of them slowly, “Nothing. It died. I had asked someone when I was at the estate sometime afterwards. Apparently Symboli Rudolf doesn’t have very good genes. Hard to carry to term. I think your sister gave up trying to have children after that.”

She stretched her legs out again as the starting gate was being dragged onto the turf. The girls began to enter their section, Tokai Teio lagging behind the pack just a bit. 

“She looks sick.”
“She doesn’t look well…” McQueen muttered to herself. She abruptly shifted, leaning forward and chewing on her thumbnail. That note about Symboli Rudolf and her genes is an interestign one; She’d have to file that away for later. “Anyway. I’m well aware of Symboli Rudolf’s hesitation to cooperate. It’s part of why I’m here anyway, I’d be a fool if I were clueless.”

Sunday Silence sat upright too. Her eyes were scanning the crowd now, hands together in her lap, “That’s why I tell my grandkids to stay the fuck away too.” 

She nudged McQueen with her elbow, “By the way, did you look at what I submitted? For Orfevre. She’s about to be a Goddess damned champion. I’m giving you an in.” 

McQueen gave a quiet grunt. She glanced back to Sunday, eyebrows furrowing. She was beginning to get irritated. She couldn’t care less about what Sunday was or wasn’t doing right now, if it wasn’t obvious. Her heavily pregnant best friend was about to run in a race.

“What are you talking about?”

“The L’arc,” Sunday replied, giving a toothy grin suddenly. “She’s going to fuckin’ win it for us, and she’ll be booked through the next year. I’m running the team, remember? Forget everything you ever expected out of Deep Impact, she’s too worried about your sister now— Orfevre is the shining star of the team—“

The gates opened, and the racers tore down the turf. Sunday Silence knew better than to keep bothering McQueen while the race was going.

It was funny because in the seats below them under the private box, in the public seats but in a section with no one in it, Symboli Rudolf was observing the race. She was holding onto the back of a seat, staring harshly down at the track as Teio took off. A late start. That could be recovered. She was still confident that this would work; she believed it could because Teio wanted it so badly— she did too. Her head didn’t turn as Sirius Symboli made her way to the seat beside her. Her hand gripped tighter as Teio disappeared in the crowd of other young Umamusume. They closed in around her trainee and she felt her stomach start to drop. 

“How is she doing?” Sirius exhaled as she flopped down. As soon as she sat down she was focused on the race, her ears were pointed forward. Her eyes were scanning each girl, feeling them out, but mainly looking for Teio. 

“Late start, but, she can recover,” Rudolf said out of the corner of her mouth, sniffling just softly through her nose. Her ears lowered but stayed pointed towards the track, listening closely to the placements, “She’s in a good position. She just needs to stay focused or she’ll stay boxed. But… Teio’s good about that.” 

Sirius’s ears twitched. She glanced to Rudolf, just for a second. The irritation was already beginning to boil. When she looked back down to the track, her eyes landed on Teio. Thank the Goddesses. She wasn’t planning on letting her out of her sight now. There was relief in the fact that she didn’t seem strained yet.  

“Okay, but how is she?” Sirius asked again. “I don’t give a shit about how she’s racing. I care about her health.”

“She’s okay,” Rudolf replied again, her own irritation coming up yet again. “Did you not talk to her before the race? She’s fine. Look at her, she’s fine.” 

Her hand ran through her hair, shaking it out as she moved to the edge of her seat. She actually chose to look at Sirius now, her eyes flickering up and down her form. Usually, she’d feel some sort of warmth in her gut from the glances she stole at Sirius, some sense of leftover crushing or a need. Now, she felt little. Very little. They couldn’t get along anymore. 

She looked back at the track, “Your mother offered me a job. It’s a scouting position. Basically head of admissions.” 

Sirius’s ear flicked, then pointed towards Rudolf. She couldn’t afford to look at her any more. If she did, she would start a fight or, worse, lose track of Teio. She was debating whether or not she wanted to talk to Rudolf at all, now. It wasn’t helping that she could barely stand thinking about Teio’s physical health beyond her racing capabilities. If Rudolf could just at least, for one second, humor Sirius… She wouldn’t. Rudolf wouldn’t. It was eating Sirius alive.

“Okay,” she grunted. 

“She’s watching today,” Rudolf continued, her fist briefly lifting off the seat as her eyes followed Teio. She stood up as they approached the corner, and Rudolf began to walk along the seats, following the racers. Sirius did the same. Rudolf cleared her throat, “Teio’s… parents are here today too. She’s wanting to…”

Her voice caught just briefly as she stared down at the track. She watched as Teio was starting to fall behind, and her jaw clenched, but she didn’t say anything on it yet. The race wasn’t over yet. The cameras were focusing on her like it was, though. Dirt flew past Teio’s cheek, and she stumbled, but didn’t fall. No one was giving her a second glance. 

“She’s interested in going international. I told her she’s not fit for it, but I'll see what I can do in the next year.” 

“You told her what?” Sirius’ head turned then against her will. She glared hard into the side of Rudolf’s head. Memories hit her. Her vision was clouding as she remembered the pain in her legs. Her “fans” and the other girls she was up against were too busy sneering at her to see how badly she was struggling. Even her mother spent more time shouting at her that she was being ungrateful, that she should be happy she got the chance to race overseas, instead of noticing how Sirius was clawing at her arms and her legs in their hotel room. She remembered coming home a month after the accident that ended everything, and seeing Rudolf in a wheelchair, and how she couldn’t recognize who she thought was her best friend. The beasts that battled on the turf between them were both gone; vanquished. Overseas turf was rough on seasoned veterans. With a postpartum Umamusume… 

“She asked me—“

”You keep acting like you can’t say no,” Sirius growled. She didn’t realize that they had closed the gap between them in only a few steps, “You keep ACTING like you have no power, but not only does she trust you, you’re her trainer now.”

”I know, but, Sirius—“

”Cut the shit!” Sirius demanded, shoving Rudolf back against the far railing. She cornered her up against it, face twisted into a deep grimace. Her hands gripped onto the rails, even when Rudolf lifted her fist to block Sirius from coming any closer, “Be a fucking leader! You want to be one, right?! Act like it!” 

“Get off me,” Rudolf growled back, trying to push Sirius away. She didn’t give it her all because she missed this closeness, hostile or not, even if she was leaning dangerously on a railing, risking teetering right over the edge. She missed their bodies pressed together, thinking through their issues and problems with sweat and blood. It was not fair that everything between them was ruined because of one spur of the moment decision. One stupid decision. She wanted to go back. They stared into each other’s eyes, breathing deep and hard, Sirius’s legs rising between Rudolf’s. They brushed together and both looked away from each other. If it was in embarrassment or anger was not clear. The argument ceased for just a moment. It ceased with a kiss. Rudolf didn’t know if it was her who initiated it, or Sirius, but neither was stopping it.

Their bodies pressed closer, if that was possible. Rudolf felt her leg hike up, Sirius’s hand tucking under her thigh, pushing her skirt further up her leg. Sirius had noticed the pencil skirt and sweater when they had started to argue, and honestly, seeing Rudolf dress so feminine for once threw her for a loop. She didn’t mind the easy access, however. Pulling their lips away from each other, Sirius began to nip at Rudolf’s neck, and Rudolf slipped her hands into Sirius’s waistband. She reached for her zipper, too. Both were thankful for the race, for the fact it was a G3 and not many people were here, for the fact it wouldn’t be hard to find an empty closet somewhere to enjoy themselves in. 

Goddesses, Rudolf missed this. She knew all they needed was to fuck through their feelings. With all the bullshit that had happened lately, with Bakushin gone, with Air Groove, with her promotion, all she needed was Sirius and her hard edges. She needed to feel Sirius inside her again, like how they used to get through everything when they were young. She was a desperate animal again. She felt Sirius feel her through her panties. 

Sirius scoffed, shaking her head as she spoke against her skin, “Why are you already h—“

There was a collective shout from the crowd, a scream. A rumble as many of the viewers in the crowd scrambled up from their seats. The duo pulled away from each other, watching in helpless despair as the cameras focused in on Tokai Teio, folded over on the turf. Both of them felt their heart drop as they saw her clutching her stomach. She was failing to catch her breath. Teio should have never stepped foot on this turf. 

✴︎

It wasn’t clear when Sirius had begun to take full responsibility for Tokai Teio and her health. Maybe it was the first night they slept together, and the following night when she thought to text Teio and tell her that she was actually a pretty good fuck. It could’ve happened two weeks later when Teio was curled to her naked body, sleeping after a late night call. Her breath was slow and quiet against her skin, and Sirius wanted to press an everlasting kiss to her forehead. Was it in that pharmacy, or at the table, watching Teio realize very quickly that her entire life was about to change because of Sirius’s actions? Maybe Sirius wasn’t ready until she heard the screams from the top of the train station steps, and realized she’d never recover if it had been Teio who had gotten killed that day. It wasn’t important right now; what was important was that Sirius was let into the infirmary after they rushed Tokai Teio off the track. She refused to be left out of that room, shoving her way inside even with protests. 

The world moved so slow as they examined Teio. Her leg had given out on the final straight, and one of her injuries flared back up again. The stress on her body from being pregnant wasn’t helping. The pain was all the way from her ankle to her thigh, maybe the muscle itself shot. It wasn’t clear just yet. Sirius Symboli stayed towards the back of the room with Symboli Rudolf, listening as Teio cried in agony at the searing pain in her leg. They could barely bend it without another scream, another beg for them to stop touching it. Sirius was going to be sick. It felt like hours before they managed to get her to calm down and got her injury sorted, but really it had only been half of one. 

The lights in the stadium infirmary were giving Teio a headache. She laid flat in the stiff, blanketless bed, her hands folded neatly on her stomach. Beneath the skin, she felt her baby moving around. She felt her little hand push against hers; Then, she felt a kick when the baby didn’t feel a response from her mother. Teio cringed. At least she was okay. 

Bandages felt worse on her body than any sort of injury. They were a reminder that Teio’s body was weak. Rudolf had promised her that if she were to run in this race and just place, place above 5th, that would prove she was still strong. She could have a career and continue to support herself and her growing family. Now that was an impossible dream. Her retirement should’ve come this month, not an announcement of more races being squeezed from her weakening form. 

“Pregnant?” Teio’s head turned as her mother spoke, staring in shock at the medic in the room. Her mother was a pretty lady, a bit short with long brunette hair just like Teio’s. They looked so much alike. Maybe that’s why Tokai Natural had so much expectation for Teio; she never got to have much of a career herself, and she knew Teio had talent. Her eyes shut as her mother went to speak again, “Pregnant? She can’t be pregnant, she’s only—“ 

“Mom,” Teio sighed, pushing herself to sit up. As she opened her eyes, she caught herself drowning in the ocean-like eyes of her mother. It was overflowing with instant understanding— with disappointment. The realization that you could do everything to raise someone “the right way” and they could still destroy things by getting pregnant. At least, that’s how Teio thought her mother must be thinking.  

Tokai Natural didn’t speak right away. Her father spoke to the doctors until they left them alone in the room. Natural surprised them all when she turned to Rudolf and Sirius instead.

“So, which one of you did this to my kid? You sick fucks.” 

Teio cringed, covering her face with her hands, “Mom! Don’t say that—“

”It’s true, isn’t it?” Tokai Natural argued. “You can’t fool me. Sure, she’s your trainer, but look at their faces. They knew, didn’t they? For how long? Who touched you?” 

Teio couldn’t answer, her eyes dropping to the floor. She couldn’t even look at her mom right now, let alone explain… this.

The room was tense, and as Sirius and Rudolf stood side by side, both of them were making their own decisions. They were once again splitting into new people, going down separated paths that would be parallel, but Sirius had a feeling it was unlikely they’d cross once again. Rudolf wanted nothing more than an out; that much was clear when it was declared Air Groove must’ve just… ran away from the life she loved. Sirius, however, had grown more than she thought capable in all of this. 

To her, this wasn’t a hard question to answer. She was willing to take ownership for what happened, for the many repeat offenses and the acceptance of Teio’s affection. Honestly, she loved Teio, at least she was pretty sure she did. She was different than the other girls she fucked or the mares she chased. Teio was funny, clever, and cute, and was carrying her child. She felt a certain level of guilt for tricking her into sex that night; she would’ve liked to have tried to get to know Teio first after all. Hindsight was 20/20, though. But after all those appointments, the tears, the arguments, Sirius had settled with the idea that even if the baby was Rudolf’s, she’d claim it for the Symboli house, and she would raise it like her own. Nothing would change that promise now. Even if Teio didn’t love her back, or her mother refused her the right to see her and the baby, Sirius would find a way to support them both, whether through sending money or funding the baby’s life. Sirius crossed her arms loosely. Around a year ago, she’d laugh in anybody’s face that suggested she’d care about Tokai Teio.

Her lips parted to take that ownership. Then Rudolf spoke. 

“I knew nothing of this,” Rudolf said sternly. “But I suspected Teio and Sirius were sneaking around behind my back for months. Especially after finding a pregnancy test in our summer cabin– my close friend had even said it wasn’t hers.”

Sirius felt a chill run down her spine. She felt like she was flashing back, which hadn’t happened in years. Suddenly, she was standing in the hallway with a young, teenaged Rudolf, who was telling her that she was weak and lacked a good constitution for racing. 

That brutality… the bluntness behind a statement that wasn’t even true… all for her own gain. To save her skin. To prove Rudolf was a girl from a family with many siblings, and would do whatever it took to become the Emperor. 

Then there was Teio’s face. Her shock was hidden only by the twisting of her face as she stared down at her hands, her eyes filling heavily with thick tears. She couldn’t help but sniffle as she came to a conclusion she had been sitting on for a very long time. 

“I don’t want you training my kid anymore,” Tokai Natural spoke next yet again, pointing a finger at Rudolf. She jabbed it into her chest, “I don’t give a shit who you are. How could you have not noticed? Are you self centered? Stupid?” 

Rudolf couldn’t take much more negative criticism. Her head was swelling with a migraine, yet she managed to just nod. She was ready for this to be over, “Yes, ma’am. Your daughter’s health should always come first. This is… a lapse in my judgement.” 

Sirius cleared her throat, allowing the mother to now target her, “It was me.” She admitted, ears twitching as Teio began to openly cry. She glanced over and watched Teio’s father hug and comfort her softly. He seemed like a decent guy. She continued as she looked back at Teio’s angry mother, “I got her pregnant. We’ve been seeing each other for awhile now. I’m sorry.”

Sirius cringed as Natural’s palm made contact with her cheek. The woman had quite the swing on her arm, the mark burning red hot instantly. She sucked on her teeth as she rubbed the spot.

“Mommy!” Teio shouted, a sob climbing and rushing out of her throat, “Don’t hurt her!” She felt like she sounded so stupid, so small, but she didn’t want anymore fighting. She didn’t want Sirius to be taken away. 

“Do you care about her, or were you just using her to get off?” Natural growled. She had Sirius by the shirt now. “What’s wrong with you? How old are you anyway?”

“I do!” Sirius defended herself quickly, “I love your daughter! I love the baby too! I want to take care of them. My estate— we have plenty of money, and if you don’t want me around her, I can pay to support them for the rest of their lives. Even when I die, the money will still flow.”

Tokai Natural seemed to be considering how she would torture Sirius to death. With her daughter’s wails hitting her own ears, though, she let go and stepped back. Her thumb rubbed her lip as she thought for a long time. Her gaze lifted as she watched Sirius sigh and walk to the other side of the bed. She reached out, and Teio nearly leapt against her. Teio’s face remained hidden in Sirius’s chest as she continued to cry, both umamusume clinging to each other as they assumed this was probably the end for them. Sirius would soon only see Teio’s face in old magazines and newspapers, and Teio would only see Sirius’s name on the envelopes delivering her support for the month. In the past hour, Sirius and Teio both had not only lost who they thought was someone who had their best interest at heart (even if she showed it poorly), but now one another. It wasn’t fair.

…it wasn’t right…

How did things… end up this way? 

“Teio,” Natural said sternly, “what do you want to do? This is up to you now. If you want to act like an adult, sleep with people without condoms, then go ahead and make adult decisions.” 

Teio turned her head, sniffling as her ears laid flat on her head. Under her blanket, her tail swished back and forth. 

“I want… I want to be with Sirius. I want her to be there when the baby comes.”

From the back, Rudolf turned her head away, ears lowering. She’d best take her leave while the focus was off her.

“I want to raise my baby with Sirius if she wants to raise it with me…” 

Natural nodded, and her eyes fell on Sirius, who bit her lip as she nodded as well.

“Of course that’s what I want too,” Sirius reassured, resting her hand on Teio’s head. “She can come live with us at my family’s estate, if you’ll allow it.”

“It’ll have to do until we can move,” Teio’s father agreed. He had limited knowledge of Umamusume culture, however he knew this sort of gap and matchup wasn’t that odd. Even he and Tokai Natural were young when they had Teio. Hell, he was just glad Teio was having a child with a stud that wanted to stick around, and not one of those strange pair ups for the sole purpose of breeding… “Come summer I could likely get a transfer to inner Tokyo.” 

“Fine,” Tokai Natural agreed, running her fingers through her hair. She and her husband dissolved into a long, boring conversation about moving, and changing jobs, and maybe getting Natural an apartment early, or her staying closer to when the baby would come and sometime after.

Beside them, Teio looked back up at Sirius, a small ounce of confusion on her face, “Are you sure? Will your mom be okay with it?”

Sirius cringed lightly at the mention of Speed Symboli.

She would deal with that later.

“Of course she will,” Sirius said as she nuzzled Teio gently, leaning down enough to kiss her forehead. “Don’t worry about that. I said I’d care for you.”

As the door opened and closed, a tail disappearing through it, Sirius settled her urge to go chasing after it. She had better things to chase after now. It surprised her that between them, it was her taking responsibility. Or maybe that didn’t surprise her at all. 

The halls of the Symboli Estate often left Kris Symboli S feeling like an animal that knew there was a predator nearby. 

Most of the time, she was actually able to go undetectable; she ate absurdly early in the morning, then late at night now that she was a teenager and “allowed” to make her own meals. She spent most of her time at the dormitories at Tracen, then most of her time home in her room. She memorized Speed Symboli’s schedule a week after she arrived, and it had not changed in the past five years. It was a blessing; the curse came with Sirius Symboli, who usually hunted the halls at the same moments Kris S was just trying to survive in them. 

In the beginning, Kris S liked Sirius. She was bold, loud, funny, and at times kind. But her first birthday with her new family passed and she felt her change. It was subtle at first. Glances from Sirius seemed to linger too long, and her eyes seemed to trail too far down. The curiosity in her eyes, over time, was replaced by an insatiable and growing hunger. Kris remembered and instance where she was laying on the carpet, reading a book in the middle of summer. Her shorts rode up too far because they were too small; Sirius and Speed had just come back from a training session. At first, Kris S thought she had gotten goosebumps from the novel, but then she heard the shuffling. She looked back over her shoulder only to see Sirius smirking as she took pictures of her body. Even as she screamed and tried to hide, Sirius followed after her until Kris S slammed her bedroom door on her foot. She stayed locked in her own room for what felt like hours, breathing hard and fearfully while she waited to feel safe again. When she did come out for dinner, she was stopped by Speed in the hallway. 

“Next time, just use your words. There’s nothing wrong with a little interest from an older stud. She could always show you a few things, yes?”

It should’ve shocked her. It didn’t. Instead it just solidifed the bad feeling she had gotten late at night, when she would remember things like Speed beckoning Sirius to her room late at night, and the horrific noises that would fill the hallways after. Or how Sirius convinced her they had to bathe together for months, leaving her alone only when Kris S refused to bathe period until she’d leave her alone. Part of her knew that it wasn’t Sirius who was the one behind the actions. Speed Symboli was not a good woman, and that much was clear. Sirius always left her alone if Kris S put her foot down hard enough, but Speed was always quick to scold her. She had to be behind it all; Kris S could see that from the fact Sirius would always send the pictures to her, and that she didn’t seem to think a thing was wrong with the late nights in her mother’s room. But Kris S saw it in some quiet moments, when Sirius was staring out the car window with a blank stare, or when they’d run into each other in the hallway afterwards. There was one time that the horrible noises had started and didn’t stop for a long time. Kris S stayed up for it all. When they stopped, she went for some water in the kitchen, and saw Sirius there too. Half naked and bent over the sink, she was vomitting over and over. Her tears were forecful and loud. She didn’t even notice Kris S. Despite everything, Kris S held her hair that night, and waited for it to end with her older adopted sister. For once she felt like they understood each other.

Speed Symboli was not a good woman. She was hiding a lot, plotting in the shadows between her career and success. She devoured Sirius Symboli a long time ago; she was hellbent on devouring Kris S, but Kris S was hellbent on being faster and smarter. She wouldn’t lose herself to such a monster. She wouldn’t be caught dead entering Speed’s chambers unless she could be sure she’d be the only one coming out alive. 

Kris S had learned to survive the lion’s den as a lamb who had no other home to escape to. She made a bed on the bones left behind by Speed Symboli. 

The house was a bit frigid today, but it was warming up thanks to the late spring sun. The vibe had started to shift for the first time in awhile now that Tokai Teio was staying with them, and soon, a baby. Kris S wasn’t used to the quiet. She especially wasn’t used to the lack of attention from her elder sister. These days, instead of finding her around corners or sunken in the sheets of her mother’s bed, Kris S saw Sirius in the kitchen baking cookies. She saw her in the nursery, assembling a cradle and growing frustrated with how many extra pieces she had. She saw her going for walks with Teio and returning with baby clothes and takeout. Kris S was welcoming to the break from the constant look behind.

And yet.

It was leaving an empty feeling in her chest. Like part of her day was missing. She didn’t understand it. She wanted to feel pure joy about the freedom from the prying eyes, yet she stood in the nursery doorway this morning and stared as Sirius assembled the changing table. 

Her hand stayed on the hem of her school uniform, which Sirius quite often commented on. Both knew that Speed intentionally bought Kris S one a size too small so it would hug her tall and wider figure, and the skirt would go up too far. Any time Kris S tried to get a new one, Speed would intercept the delivery. 

“Fuck,” Sirius hissed as she pinched her finger for the umptenth time. She turned with her finger in her mouth to reach for the instructions; her heart leapt to her throat when she saw Kris S standing there in dead silence, “Fuck! Fucking… Barb, Kris, why are you just standing there? What? Don’t you have to go back to school?” 

“Speed doesn’t want me taking the train alone,” Kris S mumbled. Her heart skips three beats at a time as she sees Sirius rise to her feet and stretch out. She grips her bag a little tighter; Sirius never assaulted or raped her, but the fear still lives in her bones. Part of her thinks she needs to let Speed and Sirius have their way eventually as it would be the only way to repay the Symbolis for the career she’s had so far. It wouldn’t have been possible without Speed’s generosity. But Kris S also knew her birth parents would rather her give it all up than do such a thing. 

Sirius checked her phone as she walked over to Kris S, other hand in her pocket. Kris S reflexively stepped back as she got close, her heart picking up, but nothing happened. Sirius yawned, “I can walk with you. Teio’s with her mom right now anyway.” 

The walk to the station was marked by the May sun. Things were slowly beginning to warm up in Tokyo. The morning dew on the grass and the trees were often very beautiful to Kris S. Sometimes she wished she was a decent artist and could capture it on a canvas. 

She kept her distance behind Sirius, who walked just a few paces ahead of her. Symboli Kris S’ tail swished back and forth behind her as she tried to keep herself relaxed. There was no way to understand why she, the lamb, would willingly walk with the lion’s favorite dog. She wouldn’t have a way to defend herself if the dog decided to snap its jaws around her neck and rip her to shreds. But who else did she have to blame this morning except for herself…? Couldn’t she have just walked to the station alone anyway? No… Speed would find out somehow. Someway. She always did, and when you made Speed upset she would do anything to upset you back. With Kris S, she always called her an “unpleasant girl” and “ungrateful”. Suddenly, Kris S would be confronted with all the clothes bought for her, all the shoes, and the races funded under the Symboli name. All the food, the days of shelter, the “rescue” from the orphanage in America. Then she would get “cut off”; Speed would “forget” to tell her about dinner, or that they were going shopping, or would act like she didn’t exist for days. It drove Kris S insane. Somehow, every time, she’d find herself at the woman’s feet, forehead kissing the hardwood floors as she begged and begged for forgiveness. She’d tell her how much she loved her until she felt Speed’s hand on her back, and her lips pressed to her curly hair. Then they’d sit together while Speed straightened it and told her how much she cared for her; tell her how she always knew she’d do great things and never meant to hurt her. Kris S would accept it because she didn’t have anyone else. If she lost the Symboli support, she’d lose her entire life. She would go back to America, back to Arkansas, and would no longer race. All of Speed’s antics with her just reminded Kris S how fragile things really were for her. She was trapped. It was better to take her snapping dog then to try her luck with the lion herself.

The train was crowded with salarymen today. It forced Sirius and Kris S side by side on the platform. When they entered the train cabin, they were forced to stand in the crowd of men. Kris S kept her back to Sirius, clutching the handles of her bag as she kept her eyes down. She wondered if Cesario was back at the school yet, if she was looking for her. 

The train jerked forwards, and Kris S fell back against Sirius. She flinched away almost instantly, even though Sirius kept her hand on her shoulder.

Sirius raised her eyebrow, looking down from where she held onto the safety guard. “You okay?” She asked, but Kris S wouldn’t turn around. Instead, she trembled, ears laying flat against her head. Her tail kept swishing side to side. 

“Let go,” Kris S whispered back, trying to jerk her arm away. It wouldn’t do to make a scene in such a public place, “Let me go.” 

Sirius obliged quickly, dropping her grip on Kris S like she’d burned her with a confused look crossing her face. She glanced up. She was thankful for the lack of attention on them, though it only served to confuse her more.

“Did you hear me?” She tried again, “Are you okay?”

“Fine,” Kris S whispered, her head turning just slightly. She wished she would stop shaking, but her entire body was rattling from top to bottom. Her teeth would clack if she kept her mouth open for long enough.

Why did Sirius let go? Why didn’t she hold on, or get aggressive, like she usually did? That frightened Kris S worse than any unwanted touching. The subway car was getting to be too small. She couldn’t stay here anymore, she didn’t want to be this close.

They were five or six stops away from Tracen, but if Kris S ran fast enough, she could get there before the first bell. As the car jerked to a stop, Kris S seized her opportunity and fled from Sirius in the sea of salarymen. She was fast, even in the crowd; it was one of her specalties. 

“Kris!” Sirius shouted, ears twitching. Her eyes darted through the crowd to find her again, then her feet followed. “Kris! Wait!”

Kris S was an impressive Umamusume, that’s why Speed picked her. She had extreme speed and knew how to burst from a crowd. Sirius likely didn’t see her clearly until she was making her way up the steps, where Sirius could now focus and follow with a little less worry. As they came out of the subway and Kris S headed down a side street, Sirius could more easily catch up to her adoptive sister, though she stayed still out of reach. The only thing that put the steady chase to an end was a delivery truck blocking the outlet for the side street. Kris S could feel her shoes heating as she slid to a stop.

When she whipped around, her eyes were wide and wild, though the rest of her face stayed blank. She backed away even as Sirius got closer, her hand gripping her bag’s strap tightly in a paling hand. 

“S- stop,” Kris S demanded. Her deep voice didn’t fit fear, nor did that thick American accent as she spoke in English, “< Leave me alone. Stop! >” 

“Kris,” the name slipped out of Sirius’s mouth in a whine. She stopped and lifted her hands placatingly. She searched Kris S’s face for any indication of emotion other than fear. Silently, she begged her not to run again. “I don’t get it. You’re worrying me. What’s going on?”

There was another emotion. Disgust.

“< You’re treating me weird, >” Kris S spoke again in English. When Sirius’s face twisted and showed her struggle to decipher it with the little English she knew, Kris S forced herself to speak the moderate Japanese she knew instead, “You aren’t acting normal. Stop treating me like this. If you’re going to rape me, can’t you just get it over with? Stop… < stop torturing me. >”

Her head bowed in shame. Everyone thought of Symboli Kris S as the strongest one out of the three, the one who came from overseas and could carry the Symboli name back over when it came time. The truth was that she wasn’t strong at all. She had been scared since she lost her parents, and her fear didn’t leave when she met the Symbolis. It amplified. She began to cry. She hated to cry so much that she hadn’t done it the entire time she was in Japan. She usually kept her face straight. 

“What?!” Sirius’s face fell, and her ears dropped the rest of the way to her head as well. Her hands followed suit. She realized her heart did too. 

She put one foot in front of the other, wanting to reach out to Kris S and comfort her like a good older sister should, but she stopped. Her arms stayed glued to her sides. Her presence alone was enough to frighten the teenaged Umamusume to tears. What was she meant to do? Was she really this…?

She wasn’t this much of a monster, was she?

She couldn’t remember when it started.

After her dad left, a lot of young Sirius Symboli’s days were filled with comforting her mother. Speed Symboli spent days sobbing behind a locked door, or laying wide awake in an empty bed. She wouldn’t eat or cook, and it was Sweet Luna who took care of Sirius most days, or one of Ramonu’s mothers. One day, inexplictately, unexpectantly, things changed. Perhaps it was because Sirius was getting older and her legs were getting long and slender. Or maybe it was because she had been sleeping in her mother’s bed since she was a young child, and hadn’t stopped even at the ripe age of thirteen (which was a secret Rudolf swore to take to her grave). But one day, Speed Symboli stopped looking to her daughter for comfort. 

That isn’t to say Sirius didn’t comfort her when she needed it. She did. She made a point of it, in fact, to ensure her mother is safe and happy. Sirius was like Speed’s best friend, and they told each other everything. It was just that comfort was a fickle thing that a child couldn’t always handle. 

Speed Symboli started looking to her daughter for sex. 

The first few times were confusing. They were scary. Sometimes, it still was. At some point Sirius learned to get numb to it, to just let her mother get through it and feel better. It was all to help her feel better. Sirius just wanted her mother to be better. Eventually, it felt natural.

They hadn’t done much since Teio came to live with them. Dirty pictures were still sent her way, but it really began and ended there. No touching, no kissing goodbye or good morning, no sex calls late at night. 

Looking at Kris S, Sirius was reminded of when she was entering Classics and her mother said she’d be bringing her home a sister. Sirius remembered the fear that she had finally slipped and gotten her mother pregnant, only to be shocked by the little midwestern Black girl sitting in their kitchen the next morning, chewing slowly on some white rice. They shared a long look, and Kris S smiled at her, and Sirius smiled back. She was excited that day to become an older sister. 

One day, inexplictately, unexpectantly, things changed again. 

Pictures. It was just pictures she wanted. Sirius was convinced she wanted her too. Then Speed was begging her to convince Kris S to come to her bed. Every night, every text was demanding Kris S, thirsting and begging and putting all her energy into it. Convincing Sirius she felt the same too.

Sirius would watch Ramonu with her sisters. The halls of the Symboli estate were so large and lonely, and quiet. Every day she had prayed for a sister, for someone beyond her friends to play with. For someone to understand with her. For someone to love her the proper way. Speed gave her that– but like everything else Speed gave her, she soiled it. She ruined it before it could bloom on its own for Sirius. 

Kris S shook her head in disbelief at Sirius, confusion taking over for her too, “< Don’t you… > don’t you want to?” Kris S asked. Her voice was small. “You’ve always wanted to, haven’t you?” 

“No,” Sirius breathed. She choked down the tears she felt playing in the corners of her vision. She couldn’t let herself cry, too, not right now. It wouldn’t be right or fair to Kris S– to her little sister, among everything else. She shook her head as well, desperately like it would convince Kris S that she had never meant any harm. Her stomach was beginning to twist. “No. Never. I- …Never.”

There was silence between them. Being between buildings, even the streets sounded muted despite the morning commutes happening all around them. As the two Umamusume who were never given enough chance to get to know each other, to understand each other looked at each other for the first time again, two things became very clear.

One.

Symboli Kris S would be okay. She’d stop crying soon, and though it would take time, and much more apologizing, she and Sirius Symboli could maybe build something together from the ashes. 

And two.

Sirius Symboli hated her mother for what she had turned her into. 

✴︎ 

Sirius Symboli hated her mother. 

It was such a strange new reality she was living in, but none of her reality was traditionally normal anymore. It couldn’t be when she was knelt on the ground, four hours after the birth of her daughter in the hospital room on the same day she had made that decision in the alleyway.

Umamusume babies were expected to hit milestones faster than human newborns. It was to be expected when Umamusume pregnancies lasted up to an entire year. Out of the womb, they could lift their heads, had some semblance of hair and could grab, kick and push. Within four hours, they were expected to be able to crawl, or scoot in modern day expectations. While the dam recovered, the sire was sent to a clean room with a mat on the floor and toys to lay out before the baby while they waited for them to crawl. Traditions said that whatever toy the baby grabbed first would predict their future. Sirius wasn’t sure if she believed that part necessarily; looking at the toys in the room, even she couldn’t tell what they all predicted. A Godolphin Barbie doll, a toy car, one of those cat pianos, a stuffed rabbit? What kinds of jobs did these represent? 

Sirius looked back up at the baby laying on her tummy, staring right back at her. Her eyes were magenta, bright at that, with a ring of blue near the pupil. It hurt to have to face reality and know that this child didn’t come from her body. At the same time, none of that mattered. She was still her child; Sirius still signed her name on the birth certificate next to Teio’s. 

Sirius sighed as she gently reached out to the baby’s ears. Her fingers gently rubbed the tip of one, careful not to squeeze too tight. Already there was a tiny blue bow on her left ear. She was a colt. She supposed that would make things easier for her, since Sirius at least knew what it was like to grow up that way. The baby cooed and squeezed her eyes shut as she did so. 

“C’monnn,” Sirius complained softly, her smile small and sweet. “Hurry up and crawl already. Your mommy’s in the other room and I wanna make sure she’s okay. You haven’t done anything but roll, they won’t let you out for that.”

Those magenta hues looked up at Sirius’ brown curiously. Her other ear flicked as it listened to her voice. Happily, the baby giggled. 

“Don’t you wanna learn what your name is? Your mommy hasn’t told me yet.” 

The baby laughed more, and Sirius rolled her eyes playfully. Her head turned as she heard knocking on the window that lead back into the hospital hallway. 

Standing there, with her own baby on her hip, was none other than Mr. CB, Her hair was tied back as she waved with her free hand, dressed in her typical white blouse and brown cardigan. Her baby was a colt too, named Meisho Vitoria. She looked more like Ace with her black hair and vivid blue eyes. Her head almost always rested on CB’s shoulder, her smile a permanent fixture on her face. She was a mischeivous baby who came months early and threw her mothers’ wedding plans into turmoil. The event was postponed until “further notice”. Obviously their focus was elsewhere now. 

Sirius moved her daughter into the support safety seat before she went to the door, opening it for CB and Vitoria. She stepped inside after removing her shoes, then hugged Sirius around the neck. 

“Congratulations, mama,” CB spoke softly as she squeezed Sirius, and Sirius squeezed her back. She put Vitoria down on the mat, allowing her to scamper off without warning. Vitoria was already standing up on her own and running around the room, babbling and giggling as she explored. Sirius couldn’t quite remember how old the baby was now, but she was a far cry from the premie she met last December. 

“Thanks. Where’s Ace?” Sirius asked as she moved to release her own baby from her constraints. But… with Vitoria running around, she didn’t quite put her down just yet. Instead she held her baby to her chest, which she was finding felt so natural. 

CB plopped down on the mat. Quickly, Vitoria ran to her mother from behind and began to push and pry, using her mother as a jungle gym. CB never minded this, and often acted nonchalant while her child hung from her neck or pulled her hair or ears. It was if and only when the colt yanked her tail that CB would do something about her hyper child, “She’s with her family. The house still needs work before we can move in, so she’s putting those muscles to use.” CB held her arm up to show off her own, and Vitoria swung from her arm like a monkey, “Teio okay?”

“Tired. Coming off the drugs,” Sirius replied, trying to hide the worry in her voice. She moved across the room and put her daughter down again, laying her on her back. Before she sat down at the other end of the room, the newborn was already on her stomach again, now watching CB and Vitoria with interest. 

“Girl’s a trooper,” CB mused as she watched the baby too. “Your kid’s really cute though! And she’ll just get cuter.” 

“You see her eyes, though, right?”

CB’s eyes slowly lidded as the message settled in her ears. Her ears fell slightly to the side at that. 

“Yeah, I see ‘em. She’s still– no, your kid’s still cute though.” 

“Yeah,” Sirius agreed. Her chin rested against her fist as she grew quiet again. 

Mr. CB didn’t hate Symboli Rudolf these days. She could never hate her completely, they were far too close for that, but it was getting harder to like her. Things were weird for a lack of a better term. Things had been weird since that night in the cabin for all of them. Mejiro Ramonu hardly came around anymore period. Marunzensky… CB, at the end of everything, was just glad there was someone who wanted to step up for Tokai Teio and her baby. 

“I think you’re gonna be a good mom,” she commented. Her head tilted at Sirius as they gazed at each other, a smile shared between them. “Even though I’m moving away, you’ll still visit, right?”

“My kid needs someone to play with, doesn’t she?” Sirius teased. They shared a quiet chuckle as Vitoria settled in her mother’s lap, now chewing on her fist as she watched the other baby instead. 

There was quiet again. Then, Sirius spoke, “I’m… I think I’m going to ask my mother to move out.”

“What? Really?” CB blinked in shock. Such a revelation from Sirius was stunning, to say the least. Their entire friendgroup knew about the arrangement the mother-daughter duo had, and why none of them were allowed to sleepover at the Symboli estate when Speed was in town. CB had tried once with Ace to convince Sirius that it wasn’t normal just to be lashed out at. After that, they stopped talking about their friends’ secrets. 

“I don’t want the life I had for Tokai Point.”

The name took them both aback. There was a legend when it came to naming Umamusume that often times, the Goddesses told the new parents what their baby’s name would be before they could discuss it with each other. Sirius was raised to believe it would always be the dam who knew first and told the sire. For some reason, feeling those syllables come out of her mouth without Teio’s input was making her tear up. Goddesses, she was turning into such a pussy. 

CB nodded as she listened, her lips splitting into a toothy smile now, “Tokai Point?” She repeated, and turned to look at the newborn, “I like that-”

A puzzled look crossed her face when she didn’t see the baby where she was originally left. CB turned again to look around the room, Vitoria giggling in her lap. She and Sirius both saw it then: Tokai Point was confidently crawling her way across the mat, her eyesight entirely focused on her sire, a determined look on her face.