Chapter Text
*~*~*
A little bittersweet…
If there was one thing that Lilly Kane had never learned how to deal with, it was change. When Logan dumped her in the middle of her junior year, followed shortly by her biker rebound. When Veronica hardened her spine and took a side against her. When her mother finally picked up her dignity and walked out of town. Change had a tendency to walk in from out of nowhere and slap her right across the face.
Of course, Lilly was born with an actress’s poise, and even when she wasn’t blasé about the shit-storm of her life, she sure as hell could look like she was.
So it was a tad unnerving that the littlest of surprises - the one that she should’ve seen coming from miles away - was the one that nearly threw her hard-earned equilibrium right out the window.
Because Lilly had never thought, not in a million years, that Veronica Mars could possibly fall for Logan Echolls.
In her defense, it had been a long six months since Veronica had even spoken to Lilly when she and Logan finally started dating.
Senior year was a lot of changes for Lilly, and it always surprised her that the only good one was hearing that her ex was moving on.
*~*~*
The fight was stupid, something that she probably should’ve smoothed over sooner, before things got so out of hand. It was the last straw for Veronica, the first crack with Weevil, and the last fight with Logan.
Lilly wanted her relationship with Weevil to be real. She wanted it to be more than a hard fuck against a brick wall behind her classrooms, another unfinished fight with her mother, another a hard poke to Logan’s already-bruised ego. Those were supposed to be the side benefits, but she had really wanted whatever she had with Weevil to be something… more.
It hadn’t been, in the end. Not because he hadn’t been willing, but she hadn’t been. No matter how much she didn’t want to, Lilly always had a tendency to push too hard on flimsy fault lines. She chased an argument as far as it could take her, and she flirted ruthlessly. She was bitterly jealous, and she couldn’t handle when that same emotion was used towards her.
But in the beginning, she thought she could do it. In the beginning, it was so easy to blame Logan for everything that had been wrong between them and all of the problems that they hadn’t ever really tried to deal with. It was easy to tell herself that this relationship would be different.
She wanted Weevil to be a part of the group. She wanted to pretend like she could just run Logan out of the picture and make everything go back to the way it had been. She tried to pretend that her brother and her best friend weren’t using the silent treatment on each other, and most of the time she let herself forget why.
When she brought Weevil to lunch, she wanted to show them that he was more than just an on-the-side fuck. She wanted to show them that he was something real.
And honestly, she had wanted to hurt Logan some. After all, he’d broken up with her in a damn letter; she thought he deserved a few awkward and uncomfortable moments.
But Logan was sulky and quiet that day, sitting between Veronica and Duncan and catching their particular brand of silence. Weevil had poked at the tension there, making more than few comments that made Veronica blush, before Logan had actually told him to just shut the fuck up.
Lilly knew Weevil had wanted this fight, and honestly, she hadn’t really been opposed to it. She had no problem with hot boys fighting over her. But Veronica had been on her feet before either of the boys could step back from the table, her slight body barricading the space between Logan and Weevil. She apparently had expected Lilly to stand up, too, to do something to diffuse the situation. Lilly did nothing.
Veronica had an effect on Logan even then, though, and Lilly should’ve noticed. With her hand on his arm, she said something quietly into his ear, and his attention was gone from the fight. He was still bristling with anger, but he was no longer actively listening to Weevil’s litany of insults.
Even afterwards, Lilly wouldn’t be quite sure what happened. She’d grown disinterested when it looked like there wouldn’t be a fight, and she’d said something to Madison or maybe poked at the pasta they’d ordered for lunch. Either way, she looked up and Logan was on the ground, his cheek flushed red and a trickle of blood on the rim of his nose. Weevil was standing above him, a smug grin on his face.
And Veronica shoved her way between them, her two hands pushing Weevil away without a thought to the fact that he had probably a hundred pounds on her and a good portion of that was muscle. There was a dark look in her eyes that told even Weevil to step back, and the whole courtyard went silent around them.
“You think you’re so fucking hot because you’re dating Lilly?” she’d asked him bitterly, and Lilly was paying full attention now, because Veronica didn’t curse if it wasn’t really worth it. “Well think about why you’re so damn angry at Logan when he wouldn’t take her back if hell froze over. She’s treating you like trash, and right now I can’t say you deserve any better.” She gave Lilly a look could’ve melted an ice cap then helped Logan to his feet, walking out of the courtyard on his arm.
The next time Veronica spoke to her, Lilly was graduating.
Just a boy…
When Logan broke up with Lilly, he mostly blamed himself. He blamed Lilly for being a bitch, he blamed her for spreading her legs for any guy who looked her way, he blamed her for picking him up whenever it was convenient and dropping him just as quickly. But not really. When it came down to it, he always blamed himself for never being right for her. For never being enough for her.
He never planned on falling for Veronica Mars, but he rarely planned the things that actually went right. The day she picked him up off the quad and nursed his face – and ego – she’d started to show him that he could be worth something. And then she stopped speaking to Lilly, waiting for an apology that both of them knew would never come, and eventually Logan stopped speaking to Duncan, too. Though most people wouldn’t have believed him, he didn’t do it for Veronica, and she sure as hell never asked him to. Duncan would ask about her, and Logan never knew if the questions were his own or Lilly’s. In all honesty, it had been Veronica that held them all together, and even Lilly and Duncan didn’t know how to function without her.
She kissed him first, at a New Years party during their junior year. It hadn’t meant anything to her – she laughed after and went back to the party as though nothing had changed – and honestly, he hadn’t thought much of it at the time either. It was only a brush of her lips against his, purely platonic, but later he would spend a lot of time trying to memorize that feeling of her lips against his, slick with pink gloss and tasting faintly of raspberry and champagne.
He’d known for a while that he wanted to ask her to Prom. They’d skipped semi-formal, gone out with Meg and Cole to a little bowling alley and made asses of themselves, but he knew she would want to go to Prom. She had to go to Prom.
He spent a week figuring out how to ask her, even going as far as watching those MTV morons for inspiration. He’d even come close to talking to Trina voluntarily before his mother had cornered him about it.
“She’s important to you, isn’t she?” Lynn had asked, standing in the doorway of her son’s bedroom. He’d been playing a video game and hadn’t seen her walk up, and he jumped at the sound of her voice.
“Who?” he asked, feigning ignorance. His mother didn’t buy it, showing one of her occasional bouts of maternal instinct. “Yeah,” he said finally, when it became apparently that he wasn’t fooling anyone. “I do.”
“Are you going to ask her to Prom?” she prodded.
He nodded brusquely, still pretending to pay attention to the game.
“You should get her one of those bears,” his mother had said in a matter-of-fact way. “The ones that you can make talk.”
“A Build-a-Bear?” he’d asked her, surprised by how perfect the idea actually sounded.
“It suits her, don’t you think?”
He had, and the bear had been smuggled into her locker the next morning. He was waiting beside it, but that wasn’t so different from most mornings. They had homeroom together, and he usually walked with her to class.
She was opening her locker when, without looking at him, she said, “I think we should go to Prom.” There was a pause, and she opened her locker, turning to look at him before she managed to catch sight of the bear. “Together.”
He smiled, just a slight quirk of his lips, and reached into her locker. With any other girl, he might’ve been irritated, but it had been so classically Veronica and so characteristic of them that he hadn’t been able to hold a grudge.
The sound byte was in the bear’s chest, and he gave it a tight squeeze and thrust it in her direction.
“Veronica Mars, take me to the Prom or lose me forever,” the bear said in Logan’s deep voice. Her face broke into a grin, and she threw her arms around his neck and firmly planted her lips on his.
There had been nothing platonic about it, and he pulled her tight against him and darted his tongue across her lips. Her lips tasted like strawberry, then, and her mouth tasted vaguely of the blueberry muffins that he’d seen at her house.
He’d been teasing the hem of her shirt when the catcalls started, and he only remembered where they were as he pulled back.
“I’m guessing that’s a ‘yes’?” he asked her, smoothing her hair back from her face. After her fight with Lilly, she’d chopped all of it into croppy little layers, and it was finally growing back a little, so he could tuck it behind her ears or feel it brush against his arm when they sat beside each other. He thought it suited her.
“I believe I asked you first,” she told him. The bear was still hanging from her hand, and he could feel it against his back.
“Well, who am I to refuse Veronica Mars?” He pressed another kiss against her lips, then rested his forehead against hers. “Your dad’s going to want to have a talk with me, isn’t he?”
She grinned. “I’ll hide all the ammunition in the garage. Don’t worry.”
When the bell rung, she laced her fingers through his and refused to let him carry her books for her.
*~*~*
Logan had never really understood why Veronica wanted to go to Lilly’s graduation, but he was willing to do just about anything for her, and so they went.
“She deserves a second chance, Logan,” Veronica had told him one day at lunch in May. Neither of them had spoken to Lilly since before Christmas, and he’d honestly gotten pretty used to not having her around. After the fight, the 09ers had been split. It wasn’t hostile, exactly. Lilly had never openly declared war on Logan and Veronica, and Veronica wouldn’t let Logan start any fights. In the end, the parties stayed mostly the same, except Lilly didn’t come to the ones that Logan threw. Meg sided with Veronica, Madison with Lilly. Dick (and Beaver) with Logan, Enbom with Duncan. Otherwise, everyone pretty much ignored it. It was the elephant in the middle of the upperclassmen.
“You’ve got a lot of heart, Veronica,” Meg said.
“Yeah,” Logan said, his hand lying on her bare knee. “If she really wanted to be rid of you, you know this year would’ve been a lot worse.” He shrugged. “And if you want to go, of course I’ll go with you.”
“You can call us for the after-party,” Dick had told them, his mouth filled with Chinese food. “I’m not listening to Clemmons read four-fucking-hundred names so that Veronica and Lilly can have a Full House moment.”
“That’s good, Dick,” Veronica told him, “Because I didn’t really want to listen to your armpit farts through the whole ceremony.”
*~*~*
Everything with the Kanes was a production, and the graduating class of 2005 got a lot of the fringe benefits. A professional photographer and four professional makeup artists were hired for the graduates, and the reception hall had been rented for the ceremony, instead of Neptune High’s usual policy of using the gymnasium.
“And she’s not even their favorite,” Logan commented under his breath. He and Veronica had wound up across the hall from the Kanes, and so far had gone unnoticed. “Just imagine what they’ll do for Duncan. I might actually have to show up for graduation.”
“You have to come to graduation,” Veronica told him, her voice lacking all the teasing easiness that his had held. She laced her fingers through his and cracked the briefest smile. “Who else is going to cheer for me?”
He kissed her temple, his lips barely brushing her skin. “Anyone who’s ever met you will be cheering,” he assured her. “And then there will be the fifteen person squad that your father hires to chant your name from the bleachers. You won’t go unnoticed, Veronica.”
“You have to come, Logan. Don’t joke about it.”
He was brushing a strand of her hair back, his lips parting to answer her, when a shadow fell across them.
“I heard you two were dating now,” Lilly said, skipping any and all formalities. “I didn’t actually believe it, though.” The statement wasn’t completely unbelievable, since Lilly had only caught glimpses of Veronica and Logan over the past few months. What she heard of them would’ve all come through 09ers, who weren’t exactly the most reliable sources.
But Veronica read farther into the quiet words that Lilly spoke. No one would’ve told Lilly about her and Logan if she hadn’t asked.
If Lilly had asked, then she still wondered about them.
“Yeah,” Veronica said, gently squeezing Logan’s hand. “For about a month.” There was a pause where she expected some sort of reaction from Lilly, but nothing came. “So I heard you got into Vassar. That’s awesome, Lilly. Congratulations.”
“Well, it beats Hurst,” she said, finally offering a smile. “I’m glad you came, Veronica.”
They all knew that it was as close to an apology as they would ever get from Lilly Kane.
*~*~*
The ceremony should’ve gone off without a hitch. Lilly should’ve drawn just the right amount of attention with her professionally altered gown (cut just a touch lower in the front than all the others), and everything should’ve been smiles and flashes. At the end of the ceremony, Logan and Veronica should’ve met up with Lilly and Duncan backstage, and they should been able to go out and party like nothing had changed.
And it almost all worked out. Lilly got catcalls one her walk across the stage, Veronica was nearly blind from the residual flashes by the end, and everyone had clustered in one of the little dressing rooms backstage by the time Veronica and Logan made it through the throngs of graduates. Duncan was still awkward around Veronica, but everyone smiled and pretended like the stilted silences had always been a part of their conversations.
It was only when Celeste and Jake arrived, more than a healthy distance apart, that things really went wrong. There were no formalities in Celeste’s arrival, and only one crushing blow that destroyed any attempts at a perfect day.
“I’m leaving your father,” she said as she walked into the crowded little room. Jake stood behind the doorway, his face pale and withdrawn, as though he’d already fought his way through this and lost. Then, as though she’d just noticed her, she turned to Veronica. “You’d better run home now. I’m sure your mother’s dying to know.”
That’s a lie…
Veronica’s family had always run on the truth system. Lies weren’t permitted under any circumstances, and, since her father was the sheriff, he generally found out if the rules were broken. Veronica knew that her relationship with her parents wasn’t normal. Normal kids did not joke with their fathers about one night stands. Normal kids did not have the key to the liquor cabinet in a drawer in their room. (Her father told her it was so she could have access when she wanted to cook, but she knew that it had more to do with her mother than he would say.)
Normal kids snuck out to their boyfriend’s houses. They snuck boys into their rooms.
But since her father learned about Mr. Echolls and what really happened in Logan’s house, he and Logan had come to an unspoken truce. Logan always had access to the guest bedroom, so long as he was always at least 30 feet from Veronica’s bedroom after Keith went to bed.
Most of all, though, normal kids didn’t have to pick their drunk and belligerent mothers up from bars all over town. They hadn’t already learned how to talk bouncers out of filing charges.
They weren’t more used to fighting than civilized speech.
But, regardless, Veronica wasn’t terribly surprised to hear shouting when they walked into Veronica’s house after Lilly’s graduation. Celeste’s announcement had pretty much ruined any plans they had been making. Logan stopped in the foyer, his arm wrapped around Veronica’s shoulders.
“We can go back to my place,” he told her. “Your parents won’t expect you home for a while.”
“Why would she say that about my mother?” Veronica asked him, not for the first time. Celeste had fled the room too quickly for Veronica to respond, but her words had been clinging to Veronica since they left.
“She’s a bitter fucking bitch,” Logan explained. “I’m surprised that Jake didn’t send her packing a long time ago. It didn’t have anything to do with you, Veronica. Forget about it.”
She smiled at him gratefully, but his words hadn’t really calmed her at all. “I have to talk to my parents.”
He nodded. He didn’t understand the dynamic in the Mars household, but he knew better than to try to go against it. “Call me later. Let me know you’re alright.”
She kissed him softly, then he left her in the entry way, casting one last glance up at her parents’ room, where the voices were continuing to escalate.
She took the stairs slowly, catching fragments of sentences and stray names along the way. When she finally reached the top, the door burst open in front of her, and her mother was clutching an overnight bag.
“I’ll be back to get the rest of my things later, Keith,” Lianne was saying, her back still turned to Veronica. “When Veronica comes home, tell her to get her stuff together.”
“Why?” Her voice was quiet in comparison, barely a squeak in contrast with her mother’s hoarse shouting; it sounded like she’d been crying.
“Oh, Veronica.” Lianne dropped her bag to the floor and pulled Veronica into a tight hug. “Pack your things,” she told her. “We’re leaving.”
“You are not taking my daughter,” Keith said, stepping up into the doorway behind Lianne. Veronica had never heard her father use that tone, dark and deep and threatening. “You feel free to take yourself out of my presence, but you are not taking my daughter from me.”
“Don’t play with me, Keith,” her mother said, her voice matching his tone. Veronica stepped back, her shoulders hitting the wall behind her.
“What,” Veronica said, her voice sounding desperate, “is going on?”
“Sweetie,” her mother said, turning back to her. Her voice was still strained, but she was trying hard to be comforting. “We’re leaving tonight. You need to go pack your things.”
“You aren’t going anywhere, Veronica.”
“Where is Mom going?”
“Wherever she damn well pleases,” Keith answered matter-of-factly, “But you aren’t going with her.”
“You don’t have any say in this, Keith.”
“She’s my daughter,” he told her. “I have plenty of say in this.”
“Don’t make me do this,” Lianne warned. “You’re not helping yourself.”
“Mom?”
“Veronica, pack your things,” her mother told her again.
“Are you leaving Dad for Jake Kane?” Both of her parents turned to her, and the tension in the room faded to an air of surprise.
“Veronica, where did you hear that?” her father asked her. Her mother stood between them, her face wan as she leaned back against the doorframe.
“Celeste,” Veronica said. “She told Lilly and Duncan at the ceremony that she was leaving. And…” Veronica swallowed thickly. “She said Mom would want to know.”
Keith closed his eyes, and Veronica knew that he was trying to reign in strong emotions. She looked at her mother, but Lianne looked like she’d just been hit directly in the spleen.
“So that’s why,” Keith said, and Veronica knew he wasn’t talking to her anymore. “He wouldn’t even leave her for you, Lianne. She left him, and now you’re just going to throw yourself back at him. Did he even call to tell you? Did he ask you to come back?”
“He loves me,” her mother said, her voice low and fierce. “He always has.”
“Did he love you when he married her?” Keith asked. “When she was having his children?”
Veronica knew that she should leave. She’d already heard more than she wanted to, this was already more than she ever wanted to hear, but she couldn’t bring herself to move.
“He always loved me.”
Keith laughed humorlessly, gesturing vaguely in Lianne’s direction. “Then leave,” he told her. “But Veronica is not going with you.”
“You don’t have any say in that,” Lianne said. And suddenly something clicked for Veronica, and tears welled in the backs of her eyes.
“Oh my God.” Her choked whisper reminded her parents that she was still standing there, and both turned to her, mirror masks of shock and regret on their faces.
“Baby,” Lianne told her, her voice soft. “Oh, Veronica, I didn’t want you to find out like this.”
Her father was speaking to her then, but his words were garbled and far away, and then everything went black.
*~*~*
She woke up lying on her bed, and her father was sitting in the corner, watching the evening news.
“You are not Jake Kane’s daughter,” he told her, instantly reminding her of exactly how she had gotten to this point. “I ran the test a few months ago. You are most definitely a Mars.”
She didn’t realize that she was crying until her father came over to her, pulling her into a tight hug and smoothing her hair back. “I hope you’re not disappointed,” he said wryly as she cried into his shoulder.
It took her several minutes to get herself together enough to answer him. “Why didn’t you tell me?” she finally said, pulling away. “You should’ve told me.”
“Why?” he asked. “Would you have wanted to be his?”
His voice was stricken, and she shook her head forcefully, her voice filled with determination when she told him, “Never.” She paused, chewing her lip. “But I should’ve known.”
“And what would you have thought of your mother if I had told you? She’s gone now,” he explained when he saw Veronica looking over his shoulder. “She thinks he wants her back.”
“And you don’t think that?”
Keith shrugged, suddenly becoming very awkward at the turn the conversation had taken. He paced across the length of her room, then back again. “Well, he wasn’t the one who ended his marriage, was he?”
“What’s going to happen?”
“Well, honey,” Keith told her, “I think your mother and I will be separating. And if you want to go with her, I’ll let you make that choice.”
“I’m not leaving,” Veronica told him. “I’m not one of them.”
Her father’s smile was the best thing Veronica had seen all night. “Then we’ll fight like hell to keep it that way if we have to.”
*~*~*
Jake didn’t want Lianne back. He didn’t want all of that dirty laundry getting out, and a week after Celeste went back east to be with her family, Lianne went north to be with hers. She called and asked Veronica to come with her, but when Veronica said no, she didn’t put up a fight. There was no custody battle, and the divorce was quick and efficient.
It wasn’t painless.
The week Lianne left, Logan practically lived at the Mars house. He brought in food and made sure that Veronica left her room at least a few times a day. Veronica, in turn, kept her father, who had taken his two weeks of vacation starting the day Lianne left, from holing up in his den all day. Logan made sure that there was always ice cream and cereal in the house, and he took the key to the liquor cabinet and hid it in a bag of baby carrots in the back of the fridge. He drove Veronica to school – they still had their finals, even though the seniors were finished – and at night he even studied with her to make sure that she would.
By the time summer vacation started, Keith’s vacation had ended, and a new routine was beginning in the Mars household. Lianne still lingered, in pictures and little knickknacks, but Keith and Veronica were learning to live around them. When Lianne left town, Keith called his attorney and had the papers written up. If he cried, Veronica didn’t see it, and slowly a new normal began.
*~*~*
Veronica didn’t call Lilly when her mother left. For three weeks, any advancement that they had made during graduation faded back to nothing.
When she finally called, it was Logan who had told her to do so.
“Her mother’s gone now, too,” he explained. “And it’s not her fault either.”
“So now you’re on her side?” Veronica had asked. She knew that it wasn’t what he was saying; she even knew that he was probably right. She just wasn’t sure she was ready to be the bigger person again.
“Are you really on opposite sides, Veronica?” Logan pressed. “What did she do?”
“Isn’t this enough of a sign for you, Logan? I tried to talk to her, and both of our mothers left town. We just aren’t supposed to be friends anymore.”
“I could tell how irrational you’re being,” Logan told her, trying unsuccessfully to hide a smile, “but I’m pretty sure you’re going to realize that in another hour or so.” He kissed her cheek, then stood from the couch. “I’m going home. Call me after you talk to Lilly.”
“I’m not calling Lilly,” she insisted. He kissed her again, then shrugged his shoulders.
“Well, then I won’t expect to hear from you any time soon.” He smiled down at her while she sulked. “I know that you miss her, Veronica. And you know that she’ll be leaving soon, and she’s Lilly. When she leaves, she won’t come back. Not unless you give her a reason to.”
“That was always the plan,” Veronica said. She shook her head. “I’ll call you later.”
*~*~*
“Yeah, she called this morning.” Lilly was quieter, somehow, than Veronica seemed to remember. Maybe it was something that had happened over the past few months. Maybe it was because of her mother.
Veronica hated that she didn’t know.
“She wants Duncan to move to New York with her.”
“Before his senior year of high school?” Veronica asked. “That sucks.”
“Well, I particularly liked her completely and total denial about my existence. Firstborn favoritism my ass.”
There was a stretch of awkward, elongated silence, and Veronica blamed it for what she said next. “You know that I’m not your sister, right?”
Lilly laughed, dry and only faintly humorous. “So they finally told you about that, huh? You know that’s what everything with Duncan was about, right?”
That had been one of the things that Veronica had assumed over the last week, but it was vaguely gratifying to hear it confirmed. “Yeah. Why didn’t you ever tell me?”
“It came from my mom, Veronica,” Lilly explained. “And shockingly, it wasn’t true. Duncan didn’t want to deal with it, and I didn’t really believe it. Would you really have wanted to know?”
“Well, a little heads up would’ve been nice.”
“You can’t keep things from your dad, Veronica. Even if you could, you didn’t really want to know. It sucks now, because everything just blew up at once, but how would you feel if you’d had to deal with this for the last year too? It wouldn’t feel any better, Veronica. It would’ve hit you just as hard. Trust me.”
And for the first time in months, Veronica actually did.
When you think happiness…
The waves lapped lazily at the edge of the Echolls yacht as the four teenagers lay out on deck in their swimwear. It had been almost two months since Lianne and Celeste had left; Lianne had hardly spoken to her family since she’d gone, and the Kanes were currently in the middle of what would probably be a lengthy and painful divorce.
Lilly and Veronica had rebuilt a tenuous friendship, and eventually Logan and Duncan had begun talking too.
In pairs, they were doing fine. As a group, things often still became awkward and tense, but they were all trying.
And so they all found themselves just off the harbor on the last Tuesday in July, soaking in the California sun.
Lilly and Veronica had immediately taken the two benches, stripping off their shorts and tank tops and stretching out on the cushions while the boys maneuvered the boat out into the water. Once the boat was anchored, Logan slid onto the bench beside Veronica, his legs tangling with hers as the boat gently rocked them.
Lilly had opened one eye and narrowed it on Duncan. “I’m not sharing, Donut.”
“I wasn’t going to ask, Lilly.” Duncan, instead, grabbed a towel from the bag that Logan had brought and unfolded it onto the deck.
“So how long until you’re headed to Vassar, Lil’?” Veronica asked. Logan had adjusted his way onto his back, and Veronica’s chin was perched on his chest so she could see over him.
“Six days,” – Lilly glanced at her watch – “seven hours, and about fifteen minutes.”
“Not that you’re counting,” Logan commented.
“Of course not,” Lilly threw back. “But come on. I mean, college was, like, made for me. You’re expected to drink too much, sleep around, and generally make stupid decisions.”
“Mom’ll probably want to come and check up on you,” Duncan reminded her with a smirk.
Lilly grimaced, then shook her head. “Yeah, maybe if I was her prodigal son,” she told him. “I hope you’re planning on west coast college, Duncan, because Dad’s probably the only thing that will keep her away from you.”
Duncan rolled his eyes but didn’t contradict her. He turned to Veronica, whose face had lost all traces of amusement. “How about your mom? Have you heard anything?”
She shook her head, her chin acting as a pivot against Logan’s chest. “Not so much. She’s up in Portland, and she invited me to come with her. But nothing in the last couple of months.”
Lilly exhaled loudly, waving her hand in a gesture of supreme indifference. “Please. Leave Portland to the stoners and the hippies. Why would you leave SoCal for that?”
“The pot’s pretty awesome,” Logan commented.
Moments like these reminded Veronica why she adored Lilly so much. One off-handed comment, and the conversation was gone, replaced by something far less emotional. It was all light-hearted fun around Lilly, and Veronica had missed it.
“So I have this plan,” Lilly said, a little later. “Our little Veronica is turning 18 in just two and a half short weeks. And I am not going to be here to be a part of her coming-of-age, and that just is not right.”
“Lilly…”
“Best friends are supposed to be there for these things, Veronica. I would not be able to forgive myself if I ditched you.” It was the first time Lilly had labeled their new relationship, but rather than allowing the moment to sink into awkwardness, she quickly carried on. “So I propose this: You are coming to New York, and we are living the weekend up and fully enjoying your newfound ability to buy cigarettes and vote and have Promiscuous sex with rich old me.” She looked at Logan. “Not that she will.”
“You’re taking my girlfriend away from me on her birthday?” Logan asked, his expression telling Lilly not to push her luck.
“Of course not,” Lilly said, as though it was the stupidest thing she’d ever heard. “You are all coming to visit me in New York. This is Veronica’s 18th; you’d better both be coming with her. Otherwise, you just suck. And that’s our job.” She grinned at Veronica, who blushed a dark shade of crimson.
“Lilly, I don’t think my dad is going to be okay with that.” She was propped up on her elbow now, and her finger ran absently across Logan’s chest. “He didn’t like when I stayed at your house with both of your parents there. I don’t think he’s going to like me going to New York alone with you, Duncan, and my boyfriend.”
“You’re turning 18, Veronica. That means you are an adult. You can go on your own vacation.”
She looked down at Logan, who was doing a bad job of concealing the hope in his eyes. They’d been looking for a way to be alone together for what seemed like a very, very long time now, and a weekend in New York would be perfect.
“I’ll ask my dad, Lilly,” Veronica said. “No Promises, but I’ll try.”
“You’ve got to use the pout, Veronica,” Lilly told her. “Sometimes, you’ve just got to fight dirty.”
“And you ought to know how by now,” Duncan said. “I mean, you must’ve picked something up from all these years with Lilly.”
*~*~*
Veronica wasn’t often surprised by her father. Years of working in law enforcement had set him in a pretty firm mold, and it took a lot to get him to stray from his standard set of rules. It wasn’t that he was overly strict, but he had his own plan for things, and he expected things to go according to that plan.
Veronica suspected that a weekend in New York with her boyfriend – with only the Kanes siblings as chaperones – was nowhere near the plan.
Which is why she was floored when he actually said yes.
“What?” Veronica had expected ten minutes of lecture – at least – simply for asking the question. An instantaneous okay had not been anywhere on her list of possibilities. “Are you feeling alright?”
“Do you want me to reconsider?” Keith asked wryly. “Because if you were looking for a way out, I’d be happy to give it to you.”
“No,” Veronica assured him, careful to keep her tone neutral. “No, I want to go. After all, Lilly’s doing this for my birthday. I just… I didn’t you’d say yes.” She paused, not really wanting to ask the next question, thinking there would be a good chance he’d change his mind if she asked him to justify his decision. But… this was not something her father did. “Why are you letting me go?”
“You’re turning 18, Veronica,” he explained. “I won’t really be letting you do anything after that, and we both need to start getting used to that. You know how to make good decisions by now; I trust you.” He paused, then his eyes narrowed on her. “But I do have one condition. Backup and I are going to need to have a little talk with your boyfriend beforehand.”
“Is that really necessary? Again?”
“Those are my conditions,” Keith told her. “And if you attempt at bartering, I may realize that it’s been a while since I polished my shotgun.”
*~*~*
“He said I could go,” Veronica told Logan when she called him later that night. She heard him draw in an excited breath and quickly cut him off. “But he had stipulations.”
“Such as?” Logan asked when she didn’t immediately continue.
“You have to come have a talk with him.”
“…Okay.” Logan paused, thinking there was more. When nothing seemed forthcoming, he told her, “Veronica, I’ve spoken to your father before. He already gave me his intimidate the boyfriend speech.”
“You weren’t taking me across the country for a weekend then.”
“Lilly’s taking you across the country,” Logan corrected. “I just plan on doing unspeakable things to you when we get there.”
“Not funny, Logan,” Veronica deadpanned.
“Well, I wasn’t hoping we’d be doing a lot of laughing about it either.” She could hear him grinning. “Mostly just moaning and some screaming if you like.”
“Logan, it’s not a joke,” Veronica said. “The boyfriend talk – which, yes, you did take very well – that was just his natural scary. Now he’s going to be trying.”
“I’ll prepare myself.”
His voice as teasing, but Veronica felt an all too familiar pang of insecurity. “You shouldn’t have to go through this. It’s stupid.”
Her unspoken words - Other girls won’t put you through this - were loud and clear.
“You’re worth it,” he told her seriously. “All this and more even. Don’t ever doubt that, Veronica. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be.”
“Logan…”
“It’s true, Veronica, and you of all people should know it,” Logan said. “When have you ever seen me do anything because someone else wanted me to? Never, and you know that.” She smiled softly into the phone, though she knew he couldn’t see it. “So don’t doubt me on this. I’m with you because I want to be with you.”
“You know, you’re pretty good at this boyfriend stuff.”
“I didn’t used to be,” he said, “and you know that, too. It’s only for you, Veronica. I’m only good at this with you.”
*~*~*
There were several differences between Logan’s first “boyfriend interview” with Mr. Mars and the meeting before the New York trip. The first time, Veronica had invited him over for dinner, and they had all had awkward conversation about school and parents and life around the Mars’ little kitchen table. The second time, Mr. Mars led him into the living room, where Backup was seated at attention beside Keith’s armchair, and Veronica was nowhere to be seen.
“She’s out with Lilly,” Keith explained when Logan scanned the room. “Since Lilly’s leaving tomorrow.” Logan nodded, then waited for Keith to sit before taking a spot on the couch. Being a Hollywood child had at least taught him some manners, though he was rarely expected to use them.
Backup, obviously not following his appointed position in this interrogation, immediately nudged his nose into Logan’s thigh, demanding attention. Keith gave the dog a disapproving look, then quickly moved on.
“You’re going to New York with my daughter.” It wasn’t a question exactly, but Logan felt the pressure to give an answer.
“Yes, sir,” Logan said. “With Lilly and Duncan.”
“And you’ll be staying in a hotel?”
“I think so, Mr. Mars. It was really all Lilly’s idea, so she’s doing most of the planning.”
“And how do you think that’s going to work out?”
“I’ll probably have to call next week and make sure that she actually remembered to make rooms for the rest of us, but we’ve all gotten pretty used to plan B-ing it when Lilly’s involved.”
“You will not be sharing a room with my daughter.”
Again, it wasn’t a question, but it so obviously demanded an answer. “No, sir. Definitely not.”
“Will you and Duncan be sharing a room?”
“Usually, we all get separate rooms. Then, if Lilly throws a tantrum, Veronica won’t be stuck with her all night.”
“And if I call the hotel next week, I’m not going to find out that you’ve got a room adjoining to Veronica’s, am I?”
“Lilly will probably be next to Veronica.”
“And when I call the help staff, they won’t tell me that you were staying in Veronica’s room anyway, will they?” Keith’s expression didn’t waiver at all as he asked, and Logan made sure he kept eye contact as he answered.
“No, sir. Of course not.”
Keith nodded once, a short curt gesture. “That’s right. You know, Logan, I usually think you’re a pretty good kid, regardless of the fact that you’re dating my only daughter. She’s had a lot happen to her over these last few months, a lot of stuff that she shouldn’t have had to deal with, but she’s happy. She’s not locked in her bedroom or wearing all black or even being particularly disobedient. I know that you’re a big part of that, and so you’re welcome in my house.” He stood up, offering Logan his hand. With a particularly firm grip, he added, “And I really wouldn’t want anything to change that.”
Logan nodded, and he was free to go.
*~*~*
“I still can’t believe he’s letting you go,” Duncan said.
“Yeah,” Veronica said dryly. “Well, the plane’s still on the ground.” She looked down at her watch. “He’s still got about five minutes to come barreling through to carry me off.”
“Never happen,” Logan said. He laid his arm over hers on the armrest, lacing his fingers through hers. “He was very impressed with me when we talked. He’s totally okay with this now.”
Duncan, from across the aisle, laughed. “And what, exactly, did you tell him?”
Veronica cocked an eyebrow at her boyfriend. “Yes, Logan, that’s a good question. One that you still haven’t answered for me.”
“It was very simple, Veronica.” She squeezed his hand subconsciously as the plane began to pull away from the terminal. “I just had to explain to your father that since I am already a eunuch, I really wasn’t going to pose much of a threat to your chastity.”
Veronica socked him in the shoulder, pulling her hand away from his while Duncan laughed. “Wow, I’m so glad you lied to my father, Logan. That’s great.”
“Who said he was lying?” Duncan’s comment earned him twin looks of displeasure, and he leaned back into his seat, laughing.
“Asshole,” Logan said, and Duncan flipped him off in return, otherwise choosing to ignore Logan and Veronica. “That’s not what I told your father,” he assured her. “It went really well, Veronica. I swear.”
“I know you didn’t tell him that! I’m not stupid, but why won’t you tell me what happened?”
“Because you’ll just make a big deal out of it, and go off on another tangent about how ridiculous it was.” He curled his finger under her jaw, forcing her to look at him. “You’re dad cares about you. It’s nice to have parents who care about you.” He kissed her softly. “I care about you, too. And no matter how many times he makes me meet with him, he will not scare me off.”
Veronica smiled at him, pushing the armrest out of the way so she could lean against his shoulder. “I care about you, too, Logan,” she told him. “And I just don’t want you to have to deal with all of that.”
“It’s nice seeing what normal fathers act like sometimes,” Logan said, trying for a tone that was reassuring.
Her hand was on his knee, and she squeezed gently. “You deserve so much better than him.” She didn’t say that she was talking about his father, and he didn’t ask.
“That must be why I’ve got you,” he whispered, his lips close to her ear. “To make up the difference.”
*~*~*
Lilly had gotten them four rooms at the Hilton – under their usual aliases – explaining that, if they were going party like trashy whores, they should be staying at a hotel owned by some. Lilly’s room connected to both Veronica’s and Logan’s, while Duncan had the only room on the other side of their hallway.
“You’re dad called me and told me that your room was not allowed to touch Logan’s,” she explained when she passed out the keycards. “And he made me give him our aliases so that he could double check. It was kind of intense, but I gave the concierge a very nice tip to tell him that Logan’s room was on the other side of the hall.”
“Thanks, Lilly,” Veronica said sarcastically. “I’m glad you’re so open about lying to my father.”
Lilly shrugged. “Hey, we’ve got to keep our stories straight. And if you tell him that I lied, he’ll probably ask more about your sleeping arrangements, and then all the heat will be on Logan. He’ll forget all about me, and even if he doesn’t, there will be a 2,000 mile buffer between us.”
“Very funny, Lilly,” Logan told her. “So what big plans do you have for our New York vacation?” He draped his arm over Veronica’s shoulder, pulling her tight against his side. If he could change the subject fast enough, hopefully he could keep her from worrying about her father all weekend.
“Well, Annabel, my suitemate, she said that the best Italian restaurant in town is just a few blocks away,” Lilly said, watching Veronica’s eyes light up. “And since Veronica is, at heart, truly a pudgy, old Italian man, I thought we’d do dinner there before we start the bar hopping.”
“Har, har,” Veronica commented, but she didn’t resist when the group headed for the door of Lilly’s suite.
“That’s a strong defense,” Logan told her.
“Be a smartass,” Veronica said. “Sleep alone.”
Logan smiled while Duncan and Lilly laughed at him. “But you’re a cheap drunk, Mars,” he told her. “And after a couple of drinks, when I kiss that spot right below your pulse…” His fingers pressed gently on her collarbone, and she swatted him away. “Please, you won’t be able to rip your clothes off fast enough.”
“I hope you enjoy your evening with your right hand,” Veronica told him, ducking out from under his shoulder as they walked out of the lobby. “It’s the only company you’ll be entertaining tonight.”
Lilly caught up with Veronica, leaving the boys a few steps behind them as they disappeared into the pedestrian traffic.
Duncan shook his head, and Logan found himself actually wondering what his ex-best friend was thinking. Unlike Lilly and Veronica, he and Duncan hadn’t quite been able to pick up where they’d left off, and Logan knew that it had a lot to do with the fact that Duncan was still hung up on Veronica.
“I hated you at first,” Duncan said. He was speaking loudly, but something about the hordes of people around them, all strangers, left a feeling of anonymity. “When I first found out you two were dating. I figured you were just using her. That she was just another rebound for you.”
“She’s not - ”
“I know that now,” Duncan told him. “And you know, I think that me and Veronica, we probably wouldn’t have worked, even if… everything hadn’t happened. It’s just… things aren’t supposed to be that perfect, you know?”
Logan couldn’t say anything to that. What Duncan wanted to hear – reassurances about his relationship with Veronica – was not something Logan would say. But, for his friend, he also wouldn’t tell him that it hadn’t really been that perfect to begin with. That it really only looked that way in hindsight. So he said nothing.
“We’d better try to find the girls,” Duncan said finally, and Logan knew that Duncan probably wouldn’t ever mention that conversation again. “I have no clue where we’re going.”
*~*~*
It was ten minutes to two am when Logan and Veronica got back to their floor. Lilly had called some people she’d met at orientation who were supposed to be in the city for the weekend, and she’d been getting free drinks from a sophomore who lived in her dorm all night. When Logan and Veronica had announced that they were leaving, Duncan had offered to stay and make sure that Lilly got back to the right hotel.
The fourteenth floor of the Hilton was quiet when the elevator opened, and Logan and Veronica walked toward their rooms. Logan hesitated outside Veronica’s door, which was the closest to the elevator. “So… have you forgiven me for my insults against your virtue?’
Veronica sighed, pretending to consider his question. “I’m not really sure,” she told him. “You might have to come in so we can talk about it.” She grabbed his hand, but Logan tugged her back toward him.
“Why don’t we talk in my room?”
“Because we’re already standing outside of mine?” Veronica cocked an eyebrow at him. “Why would we go down to your room?”
“I might’ve told your dad that I wouldn’t go stay in your room.”
“During the little meeting?” Veronica asked. “That’s what he talked to you about?”
“Yeah, mostly,” Logan answered. “But I’m pretty sure I did not tell him that you wouldn’t sleep in my room.”
“So we’re sleeping now?” Veronica asked coyly.
Logan grinned at her, and she started to pull him down the hallway. “You know, it’s kind of too bad for you,” she told him. “The key to my room is in my bra, and I was going to let you open the door.”
“You’re a tease,” he told her, already pulling his own keycard out of his pocket.
“Well, then I guess we will just be sleeping.”
Logan got the door open, and she slid past him, her body pressing against his as she did. Logan resisted the urge to pull her back to him, reminding himself (repeatedly) that she had never done this before. When he turned back, she’d taken off her heels and was lying in the center of his bed, unbuttoning the sweater she’d worn over her top. When she pulled it off, he caught a glimpse of silver under her shirt before she slid her hand under her bra strap and retrieved her room key. Logan uttered a low groan as she leaned across the bed to place it on the table.
“You know, you could walk over here,” Veronica told him, and he realized that he was still standing against the door, watching her. “Unless you’re planning on sleeping on the couch.”
“Veronica,” Logan said, swallowing as she kneeled on the edge of the bed, waiting for him. “You’re going to need to tell me what you want here.” He was walking toward the bed then, slowly, and his eyes on her seemed almost predatory. “Because we’re getting really close to the point where I’m not going to be able to stop anymore.”
“I started on the pill.” He stopped again, not sure he’d heard her correctly. “When I found out we were coming to New York,” she explained. “So we’ll still need to use a condom, but… I want to, Logan.” She looked down, and he could see the familiar insecurity creeping into her. “Unless… I mean, if you don’t…”
“Fuck, Veronica,” he said, taking the last few steps until he stood in front of her. Her arms unconsciously wrapped around his neck, and Logan pulled her tight against him. “Does it feel like I want us to stop?”
She gasped and looked up at him, her face still slightly uncertain, but her lips had a tiny trace of a smile. “I don’t… I won’t know what to do.”
“You’ll get it,” Logan told her, his hands pulling at the hem of her shirt. She leaned back, letting him pull it over her head before she slipped her hands under his shirt. “Just…” Her finger brushed over his nipple as she tried to slide the shirt over his head, and his breath caught. “Do that again.” He pulled the shirt over his head, and ran her fingernail lightly over his chest. “God, Veronica.” She pulled herself back toward the top of the bed, and he followed, his hands tracing the curve of her waist. She arched her back when he reached beneath her, unclasping her bra and sliding it over her shoulders.
Impulsively, she crossed her arms over her chest, and he lowered his lips to hers, distracting her while he pulled her arms apart. When he pulled back, she moved to cross her arms again, but he held them at her sides. “I want to see you,” he coaxed. “Veronica, you’re beautiful.” She blushed, as she did whenever she was complimented, and then, when he lowered his head to take her into his mouth, she let out a low moan that went straight to his cock.
“You need to be naked now,” he murmured against her skin. His mouth was hot as he trailed wet kisses down her abdomen, his tongue trailing over her belly button before he hovered over the zipper on her skirt. “You’re sure?”
She was breathing hard as he looked up at her, her breasts rising and falling erratically. “You’re sure asking me that a lot; are you sure you don’t want to stop?” Her mouth quirked into a smile that he easily returned.
“Very definitely,” he said honestly, easing the zipper down. He tugged on the bottom of her skirt, and she lifted her hips, letting him pull the it off.
“Lace panties, Veronica?” Logan questioned, nipping at her hip. “You wore black lace panties for me?”
Veronica’s hands ran up Logan’s arms, coaxing him on. “You really need to stop talking so much,” she told him, and then her breath caught as he inched the lace down her thighs. She was perched up on her elbows, watching him, until Logan grabbed her hands and pulled, dropping her onto her back.
“You looked uncomfortable,” he told her with a smile, lifting himself up. “And tonight is your night, so stop making things difficult.”
She opened her mouth, and forgot her words when he began pressing kisses up the insides of her thighs, all stopping just short of where she wanted him to put his mouth. Her fingers tangled in his hair, urging him closer, and then he moved his kisses back up to her abdomen. He laughed at her frustrated groan, and she moaned his name, her voice catching in the middle.
“You could just tell me what you want, Veronica.” His voice was soothing, and she felt the vibrations of it low in her stomach.
“I… god, Logan, you know, you can be a real ass,” she stammered. He grinned at her, his fingers across her hips and thighs. She bit her lip, and then mumbled, “I want… I want you to touch me.”
His fingers slowed then, the trail becoming more determined as Logan slid his index finger along the crease of her thigh and her pelvis. He pressed one finger into her, pumping slowly as he pressed his lips to her hip bone. “Like this?” he asked her, his smile evident in his tone. Her hips bucked against his hand, her eyes pressed closed, and it was the only answer he got. “I guess so.”
Logan pressed kisses along her abdomen, looking up to watch her face as he pressed another finger into her. She gasped his name, her hands clutching at the sheets. With her eyes pressed tightly closed, she didn’t see him move, didn’t feel his head move lower until his tongue brushed over her clit. Her eyes immediately flashed open. “Logan!”
She didn’t know whether it was a reprimand or a plea, but when he took the bud of nerves into his mouth, his tongue flicking across it expertly, she fell apart in his hands.
He crawled back up the bed, his hands still ghosting over the bare skin in front of him. His voice was soft in her ear, his breath tickling over her skin. “I’m thinking you liked that.” She could hear the smirk in his voice without looking and resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Instead, she rolled onto her side, throwing her bare leg over his hip. She was slightly startled to feel cloth beneath her thigh, and her fingers quickly went to work on his button.
“Condom?” she asked, carefully pulling the zipper over Logan’s now Prominent bulge. He managed to pull his wallet out before she pushed his pants and boxers down to his ankles. He kicked them off impatiently, pulling the foil wrapper out before throwing his wallet on the floor behind him.
When he turned back to Veronica, he found that her attention had gone south. Tentatively, her fingers trailed up his thigh, tracing the lighting bolt shaped birthmark on his hip. Then her finger trailed lower, her fingers barely grasping him, trailing lightly over exquisitely sensitive skin. The look of utter curiosity on her face made him groan. “God, Veronica… Don’t do that. Not… not this time. Definitely later, though.”
She opened her mouth, her eyes curious, and he cut her off with his lips against hers. “I want this to be amazing for you, Veronica,” he explained. “And I already have enough trouble keeping myself under control around you.”
She wrapped her hand around his forearm, pulling him above her, and her knees feel open around him. And when he first pushed in, her whole body went tense, unaccustomed to the new intrusion, and he stilled.
She wondered if maybe he would offer to stop again, but, at the same time, knew that he wouldn’t stop now. And a moment later, as the pain dulled and he tentatively pressed deeper, she knew she hadn’t really wanted him to. If he had offered she might’ve would’ve asked him to, but she most definitely did not want to stop anymore.
*~*~*