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“One, two, three, four…dammit…Okay, okay. One, two, three, four…”
Mike paused while checking over the engine, listening as Johnny continued to mutter to himself. Whatever Johnny was cooking up now, Mike was reasonably certain he didn’t want to get involved. Likely whatever it was would be abandoned in a few days’ time anyway.
He returned to his task, listening as Johnny counted over and over. He had to admit that his curiosity was starting to get the better of him. After he finished, he rounded to end of the engine to see Johnny with a mop handle in his hand, moving around in what Mike assumed was an attempt at dancing.
“Johnny, what are you doing?” Mike asked.
Johnny jumped a mile, the mop clattering to the floor as he turned to face Mike with an expression of panic. “Uh, nothing. Why?”
“So you’re just counting and dancing with a mop for no reason?”
“I, uh…well, I have a reason,” Johnny started to explain as he picked up the mop, “You see, I asked out this chick. Turns out she’s a ballroom dancer.”
“Let me guess,” Mike broke in, “You can’t dance.”
Johnny’s expression changed to one of pure indignance. “I can dance. Just, uh, well, you know. Not like that.”
Mike debated with himself. He shouldn’t get involved. He knew better. And yet…
“You know, I have some dance experience,” he found himself telling Johnny, “I could give you some pointers.”
Johnny’s brows knitted together as he leaned on the mop handle. “You?”
Mike sighed. This was a mistake. He shouldn’t have said anything. “Yeah, me. I took ballroom dancing lessons when I was a kid. My mom ran a studio. Well, she still does. Anyway, if you want some help, let me know.”
“Right, yeah,” Johnny seemed skeptical.
The tones went off, and everyone scrambled to take their spots on the engine and the squad. With any luck, by the time they returned, Johnny would have forgotten all about this and wouldn’t take him up on the offer.
Johnny and Roy climbed into the squad after their call to return to the station. The brief conversation with Mike was still on Johnny’s mind.
“Hey Roy, did you know Mike used to be a ballroom dancer?” Johnny asked.
Roy frowned and shook his head. “No, can’t say that I did. How’d that come up?”
“Well, you know I’ve got a date with Brenda coming up, right?”
“Remind me who Brenda is.”
“You know, the dancer,” Johnny told him, “Anyway, I was, uh, kinda practicing and Mike snuck up on me. You know how he is. He offered to give me some pointers.”
Roy raised an eyebrow. “Mike’s gonna teach you to dance.”
“He’s just gonna give me some pointers,” Johnny answered quickly, “It’s not like he’s gonna hold my hand or anything.”
Roy let out a short laugh. “Well, good luck to him. You need all the help you can get.”
“Funny,” Johnny shot back.
Roy backed the squad into the bay and shut it off. The engine was already back, and Johnny wondered if Mike was actually serious about the offer. Well, he supposed it wouldn’t hurt to ask.
He hopped down from the squad and headed into the day room, where he found Mike at the table reading the newspaper. Johnny plopped down in a chair next to him. “Hey, Mike.”
Mike looked up briefly without saying anything, so Johnny continued. “You know how you said you’d give me some, uh, pointers?”
“Right,” Mike nodded, frowning slightly.
“Well, uh, do you have some time now?”
Mike set the newspaper aside. “Sure.”
He rose from the table and Johnny quickly moved to follow him out to the bay. Johnny suddenly felt nervous, though he wasn’t sure why. It wasn’t as if he was going to be dancing with Mike. No, he was just going to learn enough to keep from stepping on Brenda’s toes. No big deal. “So, uh, now what?”
Mike smiled ever so slightly. “We’ll just cover some basics. Just enough to keep you from making a complete fool of yourself. First thing we’ll do is get you in frame. Stand up nice and tall, like this.”
Johnny straightened up, suddenly aware of how he was hunched over. “Okay, now what?”
Mike stepped toward him, taking hold of both of Johnny’s hands. “Now you’ll bend your arms like this and hold them up right about…here.”
Johnny was startled and let out a nervous laugh. “Never thought we’d be holding hands, Mike.”
“Relax,” Mike looked slightly amused, “Okay, we’re going to try a box step. Just follow my lead. You put your hand on my arm, and I’ll put my hand on your shoulder. Ready?”
“I guess.”
“Okay, one, two, three four…”
Johnny tried to move with Mike, looking down so that he wouldn’t step on Mike’s feet. This didn’t seem so hard.
“Eyes up here,” Mike’s voice snapped Johnny out of his thoughts, “You’ll want to look in…what’s your date’s name again?”
“Brenda,” Johnny answered, looking directly at Mike. He’d never really noticed just how blue Mike’s eyes were. They were even bluer than—
“Right,” Mike continued as he guided Johnny, “So, you’ll want to look in Brenda’s eyes when you’re dancing.”
“I don’t wanna step on her,” Johnny replied.
“You won’t,” Mike answered, his eyes crinkling slightly in amusement. Funny, Johnny had really never noticed that before either.
“Hey, dancing queens,” Chet called out, “Chow’s on.”
They broke apart quickly, and Johnny wiped his hands on his pants. “Well, uh, thanks. I’ll try not to step on her toes.”
“You’ll be fine, Johnny,” Mike assured him, “And if you want more help, let me know.”
“Sure, sure,” Johnny responded as they returned to the day room. God, he hoped the brief lesson would stick. Still, maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to ask Mike for more help. What would it hurt?
A couple of days later, Mike was doing his checks on the engine while Johnny and Roy were nearby, doing their own checks at the squad.
“I’m telling you, she was incredible!” Johnny exclaimed.
“So you had a good time,” Roy commented.
“Yeah, yeah,” Johnny replied, “Man, she’s just…well—”
“Incredible,” Roy answered dryly, “Yeah, I know. You’ve said that three times.”
Mike couldn’t help laughing quietly to himself. All the girls Johnny went out with were ‘incredible’ right up until they inevitably dumped him. He’d seen it play out over and over again. He hoped for Johnny’s sake that this time would be different.
Johnny rounded the front of the squad, his face lighting in a smile. “Hey, Mike. Thanks for your help. I think I did all right.”
“Glad to hear it,” Mike replied with a nod, watching as Johnny bounded off to the day room with Roy.
He had to admit that it had been a little awkward dancing with Johnny. Of course it was, men didn’t dance with other men. Still, even with the awkwardness, there had been, well, something about Johnny that stirred up something Mike couldn’t explain.
Maybe it was just that Johnny seemed a little lost, missing that bluster and bravado he usually carried around with him. Standing in frame in the bay, Mike noticed things about Johnny he hadn’t noticed before. Those deep brown eyes, the way his brows knit together in concentration, the way his hand had felt wrapped around Mike’s.
He shook off the thought. He had no business thinking of Johnny that way. Johnny would never think of him that way. Besides, Mike was pretty sure Johnny wasn’t like him, not the way he was always talking about this girl or that girl.
No, he would simply put the thought out of his mind. It would be better that way.
He went into the day room and poured himself a cup of coffee. Roy was reading one of his art books, Marco was writing in a notebook, and Johnny and Chet were having another one of their endless debates about nothing. Just another day at the station.
Mike picked up a section of the newspaper and took a seat at the table, paying no attention to what was going on around him. Suddenly he heard a chair scrape next to him, and he glanced up to see Johnny next to him with that slight half-smile on his face. “I think maybe I could use, uh, another lesson. If you’re willing.”
“Sure,” Mike tried to sound casual as he set the newspaper aside, “Whenever you’re ready.”
Johnny all but leapt up from his chair and headed out toward the bay, and Mike quickly moved to catch up. “I really appreciate this, Mike. Man, Brenda’s incredible. She’s a great dancer and I’m, well, uh, I’m not.”
Mike laughed quietly. “She’s probably had years of practice. You’ve had one lesson, not even that.”
“Yeah, I know,” Johnny looked a little sheepish, “Guess it’s a little harder than it looks.”
“Listen, you want to practice, we can practice,” Mike assured him, “You lead this time.”
Johnny almost cautiously took Mike’s hand in his before placing his other hand on Mike’s shoulder. His eyes flicked up and met Mike’s, his lips quirking in a nervous half-smile.
“Relax,” Mike reminded him, “Okay, we’ll start with the box step.”
“Right,” Johnny nodded, almost immediately looking down at his feet.
“Johnny,” Mike chided him.
“Oh yeah,” Johnny looked up, his face set in concentration, his eyes meeting Mike’s once more as they started moving.
Slowly, Johnny started to relax, the movement smoothing out as they stepped over and over, one-two-three-four, one-two-three-four, all of it reminding Mike of his own first dance steps at his mother’s dance studio as a child.
Johnny’s serious expression relaxed into that more familiar half-smile as they continued. “I think I’m getting it.”
“I think you are, too,” Mike answered, “Ready to add on?”
Johnny suddenly looked less confident but quickly recovered with a nod. “Sure, yeah.”
“Okay, let’s try a rock step,” Mike told him, “I’ll lead this time.”
Johnny almost seemed relieved as Mike demonstrated the step. “So, step back with the left foot, shift to the right, then step to the side.”
Johnny looked down briefly before snapping his head up. “Okay, got it.”
“Step back, shift, step to the side,” Mike told him, “Step back, shift, step to the side.”
He winced as Johnny stepped on his foot. “Sorry, Mike.”
“It’s okay, don’t worry about it,” Mike quickly assured him, “Let’s try it again.”
It took a couple more attempts, but Johnny finally started to get the hang of it. “Hey, that’s kind of neat. I can’t wait to try that with Brenda.”
The tones went off, calling out the squad, and Johnny almost immediately let go of Mike’s hand. “Sorry, gotta go. Thanks, Mike!”
Mike waved as the two paramedics climbed into the squad and took off. Well, it had been fun while it lasted. He didn’t dare hope there would be more dance lessons in their future.
Johnny’s mind kept going back to the moments in the bay just before the squad had been called out. He had to admit that he was enjoying these lessons with Mike and kind of hoped he could get some more, and not only so he could hopefully keep from completely embarrassing himself with Brenda. No, he was starting to enjoy it just because.
It didn’t have anything to do with Mike, Johnny kept telling himself. Mike was a good teacher, kind and patient, barely reacting when Johnny stepped on his foot, and Johnny appreciated that. That was it, nothing more.
As soon as he and Roy returned to the station, Johnny made a quick detour to the dorm. Maybe he’d give Brenda a quick call. No, it was too soon. He’d call her tomorrow while he was off. Besides, he wanted to see if he could get in some more dance lessons with Mike.
No, that was crazy. Mike would think he was a weirdo if he kept bugging him. Maybe he should just take lessons on his own if he wanted to keep this up.
On the other hand, Mike didn’t seem to mind.
The tones went off, sending him and Roy out on another call. From there the calls seemed to keep coming, and it was late in the day by the time they finally returned to the station.
“About time,” Marco told them as they came in, “We almost started without you.”
“Smells good, Marco,” Johnny responded, “Save me some. I’ve gotta make a phone call.”
The hoots and whistles followed Johnny as he headed toward the dorm and dialed Brenda’s number. It rang once, twice, three times before someone picked up. “Hello?”
“Uh, hi,” Johnny quickly replied, “Is Brenda there?”
“Oh, I’m sorry, she’s not here right now,” the woman on the other end answered, “I can take a message for her.”
“Sure, yeah,” Johhny replied, “Just tell her John called. I, uh, I had a good time with her the other night. She can call me at the station tonight or at home tomorrow.”
“I’ll let her know,” the woman responded.
“Oh, wait, she doesn’t have the station number,” Johnny suddenly remembered. He rattled off the number before finishing the call and hanging up.
He returned to the day room and dished himself some of Marco’s stew before sitting down at the table. Just as he was digging in, Chet blurted out, “So, Twinkle Toes, got another hot date?”
The laughter went around the table as Johnny felt himself heat up. “Left a message with her roommate.”
“Oh,” Chet frowned slightly and shook his head, “Not a good sign.”
“What do you mean?” Marco asked, “There’s lots of reasons why she wouldn’t be available.”
“Exactly,” Johnny agreed, “Maybe she’s working. Maybe she’s, I dunno, doing something else.”
“Yeah, like going out on a date with another man,” Chet laughed.
“Shut up, Chet,” Johnny shot back. He had to admit that he’d considered that possibility, but damned if he was going to say so in front of everyone. His disastrous dating life was already the subject of constant jokes and comments, and he was tired of hearing about it.
The phone rang, and Cap rose to answer. “Los Angeles County Fire Station Fifty-One, this is Captain Stanley…hold on, he’s right here. John, phone call.”
Johnny jumped up and crossed to take the receiver from Cap. “Hello?”
“Johnny?” the woman on the other end asked, “It’s Brenda.”
“Oh, hey,” Johnny turned his back to the rest of the crew, “How are you?”
“Good,” Brenda replied, “My roommate said you called.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Johnny nodded, “I just wanted to see if you wanted to go out again. I had a great time with you the other night.”
There was a long pause, and Johnny dreaded what was probably coming. “Oh, Johnny. I had a nice time too, but, well, I think maybe we should see other people.”
Johnny found it hard to hide his disappointment. “Hey sure, yeah. Bye.”
With that, he hung up and returned to the table to five sets of eyes on him. He glanced around at all of them. “We’ve got another date,” he told them.
No one spoke for a long moment until Mike broke the silence. “That’s great, Johnny. Be good to put those dance lessons to use.”
Johnny immediately felt his face heat up. “Right, sure.”
The meal continued on as usual, and afterward, Johnny and Mike started cleaning up while the rest of the crew debated over what to watch on TV. Johnny started running dish water while Mike put away the leftovers and cleared the table, and soon the two men were shoulder to shoulder at the sink.
“So, hey,” Johnny ventured, “Think we could, uh, get in a little more practice on that step you showed me earlier?”
Mike frowned briefly before nodding. “Sure.”
Something fluttered in Johnny’s chest at that simple response. Sure, he could keep up the pretense that he just wanted to learn for Brenda’s sake, but for how long? If for some reason Mike found out that Johnny just liked dancing with him—
No, he wasn’t going to think about that right now. He’d just keep up the pretense. He could do that, right?
Right.
They finished cleaning up and headed back out to the bay while the others watched TV. Johnny was reasonably certain that they didn’t even notice he and Mike were gone. Good.
Mike shifted slightly, a hint of a smile flashing across his face. “So, where were we?”
“Uh,” Johnny’s brain scrambled for a moment before he remembered, moving into position as Mike had taught him, placing one hand on his shoulder and taking Mike’s hand, “Right about here?”
“That sounds right,” Mike agreed, his fingers curling around Johnny’s while his other hand rested on Johnny’s arm, “You want to lead?”
Johnny couldn’t help the nervous laugh that escaped him. “I guess. Good practice, right?”
Mike nodded, and Johnny took in a deep breath and exhaled before starting. Instinctively, he looked down to make sure he wasn’t stepping on Mike’s feet before he remembered. Look at me.
And so he did, directly into those blue eyes and the slight crinkles created by that hint of a smile and they moved together, left foot back, shift to the right, step out, over and over. It was starting to feel more natural, less awkward, and Johnny’s mind drifted ever so slightly, what if we were closer?
Mike didn’t move away, they continued moving in rhythm, one-two-three-four, one-two-three-four, and now Johnny could smell just the hint of whatever aftershave or soap Mike used, distinctive and somehow just right for him. If Johnny moved just right, they would literally be cheek-to-cheek.
“Johnny,” Mike spoke quietly.
That was enough to snap Johnny out of his thoughts and bring him crashing back to reality. Did Mike realize what Johnny was thinking? Oh no, no no.
Johnny stepped back, releasing Mike’s hand and wiping it on his pants. “Sorry.”
Mike looked slightly baffled. “For what?”
“I, uh, well, I guess I kinda got caught up in the moment,” Johnny managed to stutter out, “I mean, I’m not queer or anything.”
Mike looked even more confused. “I didn’t think you were.”
“Okay, good,” Johnny was somewhat relieved.
“Why don’t we see what they rest of the guys are watching?” Mike suggested.
“Yeah, good idea,” Johnny agreed.
They returned to the day room and quietly joined the others. If any of them noticed, it wasn’t obvious to Johnny. Thank God.
He looked over at Mike, who had taken a seat next to Cap and was grabbing a handful of popcorn. Mike looked over at Johnny and gave him a brief nod before turning his attention to the TV.
Johnny let out a short sigh. Whatever had happened out in the bay was behind them. Good. Johnny hoped it wouldn’t come up again.
Over the next few shifts, Mike couldn’t help noticing that Johnny was avoiding him. He knew why, of course, but that didn’t make it hurt any less.
He was surprised to find that it hurt. It wasn’t like him to get caught up in such things like feelings. He was a cautious man. He had to be.
But damn, it had felt good to have Johnny so close to him. Something about it just felt…right. Well, right up until he had broken the spell just by saying Johnny’s name.
Who was he kidding? It wasn’t as if it was logical to act on whatever feelings had cropped up out there in the bay. Whatever it was, it was likely temporary anyway.
After roll call, Johnny and Mike were assigned to clean up the day room. They worked in silence, Johnny cleaning up around the sink and stove while Mike swept under the table.
It was odd, given that Johnny was usually such a chatterbox, but Mike had no idea how to break the silence. However, this situation was getting increasingly uncomfortable. Was Johnny just never going to speak to him again?
Mike squatted down to sweep the small pile into the dustpan. Almost immediately, he spotted Johnny out of the corner of his eye.
“I’ll hold the dustpan,” Johnny told him, still not looking at him.
“Thanks.”
Mike swept the pile into the dustpan, and Johnny rose to his feet, finally looking Mike in the eye for a moment before crossing over to the trash can and tapping it to get rid of the contents.
He paused for a long moment, his back to Mike, and Mike could see Johnny’s shoulders slump a little. Mike simply waited.
Finally, Johnny turned around, the dustpan still dangling from his hand. “Are you still mad at me?”
“What?” Mike couldn’t believe it, “Is that why you’ve been avoiding me? Because you think I’m mad at you?”
Johnny’s brows crinkled in confusion. “You mean you’re not?”
Mike laughed as he set the broom to rest against the table and crossed to where Johnny stood. “I have no reason to be mad at you.”
“Well, you might,” Johnny’s eyes slid away toward the floor as he crossed his arms over his chest.
“I find that hard to believe.”
Johnny was silent for a long moment. “You remember Brenda?”
“Yeah,” Mike nodded, “The one that called here. The one you had another date with.”
Johnny shook his head and scoffed. “No I didn’t.”
It took Mike a moment to absorb that. “You didn’t? But you told us—”
“I know,” Johnny cut him off, “But I didn’t. She didn’t wanna go out again. Said we should see other people.”
The wheels started turning in Mike’s head. “So you didn’t need another dance lesson?”
Johnny’s head jerked up, his eyes wide. After a moment, he mutely shook his head.
Mike moved a little closer. “But you wanted one.”
Johnny’s eyes darted around before he nodded.
Mike placed a hand on Johnny’s shoulder, and he immediately tensed up under his touch. “Johnny, listen to me. I’ll give you dance lessons any time you want, okay?”
“You don’t have to do that,” Johnny answered quietly, an edge to his voice, “I don’t need your pity.”
“It’s not out of pity,” Mike told him gently, his hand never leaving Johnny’s shoulder, “It’s because, well, I kind of enjoy those lessons too.”
Johnny appeared thoughtful for a moment before a slight smile lit his face. “Any time I want, huh?”
Mike laughed quietly. “Any time you want.”
Johnny set the dustpan on the counter, looking around before moving in closer and sliding a hand to Mike’s shoulder. “How about now?”
Mike took Johnny’s hand and rested his other hand on Johnny’s arm, leaning in to press a kiss to Johnny’s cheek. “Right now’s just fine.”