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{Jayden’s POV}
I sat on my bed, debating on what to do. I’m the only one home, alone with my thoughts. My fucked up, disgusting thoughts. I’d already done all my usual distractions. Train for an hour? Did nothing. Study kanji? Couldn’t focus one bit. I had no appetite, I wasn’t wanting tea, I wanted him. Antonio. That man drove me mad, hell, I’m so deep in love, I can’t see the way out.
Grabbing my samuraizer, I had a decision to make. Do I activate that camera? God, the fact I ever even put that on him, the fact I ever thought of bugging him with a camera in the first place is so… stupid. I can’t believe that I even did that. But I did. I did, and now I can activate it.
“I can’t believe I’m doing this.. Symbol power, カメラを起動する!” As I struck the kanji, a screen appeared before me. I could see the bright smile of Antonio being my greeting. The camera was miniscule, I knew he’d never even see it. Antonio was talking to Emily, I could hear her through the camera’s speaker. It fueled my fire, the pure anger I felt just at the thought of Emily talking to him was surprising even to me. God, am I that obsessed?
“We’ll probably be out till sunset, but you can go on and go home. I'm sure Jayden's tired of being home alone." Emily's voice held some sort of... underlying tone. I could see Antonio's smile fall as he quickly told Emily to shut up.
"Whatever.. I'm heading there then, see ya guys!" He smiled and I couldn't keep watching. I made the screen disappear.
God, I'm a freak. I couldn't just be happy my childhood best friend was back, could I? No. I had to go and get obsessed... but I'd be damned if I let anyone take him.
About 10 minutes later, Antonio was back. He smiled at me, that dumb, beautiful smile. He started rambling on about all the stuff he did, completely unaware that I had seen it all. I need to get rid of that camera as soon as possible.
I told him I'd be going out for a walk, so he decided to just go to his bedroom.
I got outside, trying to think rationally, but when have I ever done that? Once again, I pulled out my samuraizer.
Once the screen came up, I noticed Antonio was putting his jacket on a chair. He took his shirt off, throwing it onto the bed. I need to stop, I need to turn this thing off and stop being a pervert.
Then he took his pants off, and I had all eyes on the screen. I never pay too much attention to people's physique, you can't underestimate anybody, but Antonio's body was just too perfect to not stare at.
His slim arms that still looked like noodles while hiding the muscle he'd built up, the way his waist dipped in and how his hips and thighs curved out, how his thighs were thick not only from fat but from the muscle in them.. God, almost everything about him is perfect. Almost. If only he were officially *mine*, then he'd be perfect.
I watched as he stretched, double checking that his door was locked. He looked around, as if aware something, *me*, is watching him.
Luckily, he just shrugged and went to his bed, moving his jacket to the chair his shirt was on. He hung it on the chair, giving me a perfect view of his bed.
As Antonio crawled into bed, I expected him to just go to sleep or something, something that'd give me an excuse to turn this camera off and leave him alone for once.
But he didn't.
Instead, he crawled onto his bed, staying quiet for a second. I watched as his face got redder, and I had no time to question it before he slid his hand into his boxers and pulled out his dick, hard and leaking.
My first thought? I'm a perverted freak who should be thrown to the Netherworld and left to rot. My second thought? Holy fuck, he makes the cutest sounds.
It took everything in me to not go interrupt. I had to stop myself, reign it in and resist any urge I have to go in there. I shut the screen off.
Despite my best efforts, I couldn't stop myself once my body went back inside. I shut the door gently, so that Antonio didn't know. I made my way up the stairs, careful as to not make a sound.
I could hear him, faintly. The way his voice shook as he moaned, how the moans were gradually getting louder... god, how I loved it. I loved all of it.
Was I this deep? Was I seriously so obsessed with my best friend that I was willing to listen in on him when he's doing such private things? The majority of me said no, that I was better than this, that I was too good for such disrespectful and perverted things. But the small part of me that fueled my insane mind, the part of me that got angry if anyone spoke to Antonio, told me yes. I was.
And me, being the obsessed idiot I am, listened to that small part. The small part that validated my crazy ideas.
I drew ‘開ける’ with my samuraizer, unlocking and slowly opening the door, which was luckily silent. I saw him, and it was even better than on camera. He was humping his pillow, his lower face shoved into the top as he whined and moaned. I wanted nothing but to fuck him stupid then and there.
Antonio's hips stuttered and bucked. "Oh, fuck- Jayden~!" Antonio's voice cracked as he yelled out my name, cuming onto his pillow. I backed out before he could see me, closing the door and hiding in my own room.
Oh, fuck. He's fantasizing about me?! Damnit, this is not helping the obsession... I'm a goner. Doomed. Forever.
How do I recover from this? Not only am I unreasonably obsessed with my best friend, he's fantasizing about me! With my back to the door, I realise quickly that Antonio wasn't the only one fantasizing. I let out a groan. "Great. Fucking great." I roll my eyes, walking over to my bed. Flopping onto it, I attempt to cover my head with my pillow out of embarrassment, when I hear knocking.
"J-Jayden? Are you in there?" Damn it.
"Yeah, I'm in here, come in." Once he got the confirmation, the door opened. Antonio stood there nervous and red. Red. My colour. Fuck, no, I can't focus on that.
"You... how... long have you been home..?" Antonio seemed jittery. I really hope he isn't scared of me..
"I... never left."
"I was afraid you'd say that..." He covered his face. Great, I fucked up.
"Antonio, i.. I'm sorry. I didn't... mean to.." I can only hope he believes my lie. If he doesn't and he finds out I've been stalking him, who knows how he'll react.
"No, no, I should be the one apologizing.. i- I shouldn't be doing stuff like that-"
"What?" I felt bad for interrupting, but I had to. Was he seriously blaming himself? "No, Antonio, it's fine. I don't care. Hell, I'm actually kinda glad. You mean a lot to me, Antonio, you think I'd be mad?" I got up, walking over to him. He tried to back out of the room, and I felt my anger flare as I pulled him back in, holding his wrists tightly.
He looked cute like this, as cruel as it sounds. The shock and the embarrassment made him putty in my hands, and I've always loved making something mine. "Jayden.. you sure..?" He looked up at me. I wanted to pick him up and kiss him, mark him up and make sure every goddamn person who looked at him knew he's mine.
"I'm sure. You're my best friend, Antonio. And besides, I'm worse. By a long shot." I grabbed his chin, making him look up at me. He gained his confidence back, smiling.
"Oh yeah? You think you're worse? How so?" God, I love that little challenging smile he has.
"You're sure you want to know?" I looked down at him, silently begging he wouldn’t push further. But he did, and I knew then that I couldn’t get out of this.
“I’m sure, Jay.” Those words were my death sentence, and I was walking to the electric chair.
“You’ll hate me… but fuck it. I’ve.. I’ve been watching you. About two months after you came back… I-I couldn’t help myself, I put a small camera in your jacket. I knew you wouldn’t look, wouldn’t notice one bit… But… it did nothing but made my obsession worse. I couldn’t stop looking at you, couldn’t stop watching you, everything you did, I watched. I watched you before you got home, while I was outside- I just sat out there and watched you..”
I was quiet, I didn’t know what to do. He just… stared at me. Wide-eyed, shocked, his mouth opened just a tiny bit… I couldn’t look away.
“I understand if you don’t want to be around me, I understand if you find me disgusting, terrible, gross-”
“You’re that obsessed? Why didn’t you tell me before?” I looked down at him, now I was the one shocked. “What?” I let go of him, but he grabbed my wrists,catching me off guard. He looked up at me, his brown eyes watching me carefully.
“I… what? You- you aren’t freaked out? Grossed out, disgusted, anything?” I could hear the desperation in my own voice, the panic, the confusion. Somehow, no matter what, Antonio is always the one to pull my emotions out of the deep hole I usually kept them in.
Antonio smiled, pulling me down so I was eye to eye with him. “Nah… I’m not worried. Don’t see why I should be. You think I’d throw away 15 years of friendship just cuz you got obsessed. And I’m not gonna be pissed at you for that either. But I do need some time to think. Mkay?” His right hand let go of my wrist, moving up to hold my cheek. I could only nod. He wasn’t angry, he wasn’t upset. He just needed some time to think.
And I could do that.
________________________
It’d been about 3 weeks since Antonio and I had that talk. I noticed he wore that jacket all the time now, like he wanted me to watch him at all times. Does he not care that much?
Tonight, Antonio was going out on a date. A fucking date. The others were going out to the movies, but it was a movie I wasn’t very interested in, and either way, I needed to work on my symbols. So, once again, I was home alone while everyone else was out. Not that I care.
Everyone had already left, I was already watching the camera. Antonio was with some guy, who was getting way too touchy with Antonio. The fucking nerve… what does this guy not understand? It's clear by how Antonio was backing up that he didn't like it, so why the fuck is he persisting!?
I watched as Antonio got closer to the man, he was giving in on the man's advances. I felt my nails digging into my palm, my hands clenched so tightly that my knuckles were white.
That guy… ugh. He was holding Antonio by the jaw, which was fueling my anger. The two of them were kissing, and all I could think of was beating that man till he was bloody. How dare he put his hands on my Antonio.
Antonio finally separated from the man, and I was already sick of watching. I decided to go shower before he got home.
Once I had gotten out of the shower, throwing my towel onto my bedpost and putting on clean clothes, I watched as the rest of their date went on, driving me mad. Finally, Antonio was coming home.
He left his jacket in the guy's car, which confused me, until he came inside with a dark look on his face.
“Jayden? Mind doing me a favour?”
“I.. suppose? What's wrong?” I tilted my head, suspicious of what could possibly be having Antonio, my ray of sun, so furious.
“I'm going to text that guy and ask him to bring my jacket to the door. I want you to go out there and beat his ass.” The sudden aggression from Antonio surprised me.
“What? Beat his- why do you want me to?” I tried to act confused, trying to fake discomfort at the idea of hurting that guy. In reality, I was seconds away from beating that guy to the ground.
Antonio was quiet for a second. “He was extremely offensive and insulted me the entire date.” I felt my entire body tense up. That guy wanted to disrespect my Antonio?! Who the fuck did he think he was?! “There we go, that's what I'm looking for. Now, if you will, go beat his ass.”
I heard knocking at the front door. My anger filled my mind as I walked over to the door, being greeted by the guy's idiotic smile.
“Hey! Antonio left this in my car.” He handed me the jacket. I threw it to the side, punching the guy square in the face. He fell back, surprised and scared. He should be. He'd be lucky to leave this place alive.
This guy, Devin if I remember right, seemed to have no clue who I am since he got up, trying to attack back. Pathetic attempt, as he was on the ground in seconds once more, now bleeding. As expected, he ran off, retreating like a coward.
I walked back inside, picking up the jacket I'd thrown to the side. Antonio was in the kitchen, waiting for me. He smiled at me, taking the jacket from me. “Thank you, Jay.” I felt my face flush as he whispered.
“No problem. You deserve better.” You deserve me more like it.. but of course, I can't say that out loud. Just because he knows doesn't mean I can act like that.
He reached up, cupping my cheek. The others wouldn't be home for.. another hour? Hour and a half? I heard something about going to the park after the movies, and knowing them, who knows when they'll be back.
“You did such a good job scaring him off, Jayden, really showed him who's boss.” At Antonio's praise, I smiled, but I felt a small part of me react… differently. It made me much happier than most things did. Surely it's just Antonio's presence, right?
As Antonio's hand slid down my cheek, down my neck and halfway down my chest, I realised quickly that he wasn't just holding me gently. He needs to get his hands off me before I do something we both will regret.
“I.. Was I?” I could barely find my voice, the confusion and odd mysterious feeling clouding my head.
“Yeah, you were. You did just what I wanted, scared him off so quickly…” My mind got foggier the more he praised me. God, it itched a certain part of my brain, gave me a feeling of… bliss. I loved it, I needed more.
“Couldn't let him get to you… you're mine, afterall.” The words came out quicker than I could stop them. Antonio stopped, looking up at me.
“Yours? Aw, Jayden, but how can I be yours if there's no way to prove it?” He was teasing me. This little bitch was teasing me!
“Do you want to risk that?” My voice came out as a growl as I grabbed his hands and pulled him closer. “You're playing with fire, Antonio, and if you aren't careful, you won't have enough water to put it out.”
“Maybe I don't want to. Ever think of that? Maybe I want you to get out of control.” He pulled me out of the kitchen and up to my room.
As I opened the door and pulled him in, my mind was racing. What would I do if he was just playing? What if I get too out of hand? What if-
“Jaayyydeeen~ c'mooon…” Antonio was smiling as he made me look at him. Oh fuck, I'm head over heels.
I locked the door, letting him pull me to the bed. He wrapped his arms around my neck and pulled me down, kissing me. I smiled into the kiss and tilted my head to the side. He moaned, trying to kiss me deeper. We had to separate for air, and in those few seconds, he had managed to get my shirt off me.
Looking down at Antonio, I move my hands to his waist. “You sure you want this, Antonio?” As I speak, he reaches down and begins trying to unbutton my jeans.
“Jayden Homura Shiba, by the end of tonight I better not be able to walk. Does that answer your question?” He got my pants undone, and as he began unbuttoning his own, I took my pants off.
“Yeah, yeah it does..” Something about the way he said my full name made something in my brain go off. I couldn't keep my hands off him. While he was taking off his pants, I was getting his shirt off of him, throwing it to the side.
Once we were both down to our boxers, he pulled me back in for another kiss. I wrapped my arms around his waist while he ran his hands through my hair, holding my hair tight so he could move my head wherever he wanted.
My body was reacting in ways I'd never felt before. I pushed him down onto the bed, separating from our kiss so I could look at him. He looked heavenly, and that's coming from a guy who doesn't believe in any religion. He was his own light, almost glowing under me. “Antonio… you look divine..”
Antonio smiled up at me. “I'm honored. But I want you to hurry the fuck up and fuck me, querida.”
I froze, smiling wide. “Hope you don't plan on doing anything tomorrow.” I flipped him over, stripping us both of our boxers. He laid on his stomach under me.
“Hurry up, man… I want you.” His voice was low, impatient. As usual, he hates waiting. I could only chuckle.
“Just give me some time, sunlight, I've gotta prep you first..” I spoke softly as I leaned down, my hand cupping his chin. Two of my fingers, my pointer and middle, tapped at his bottom lip. He opened his mouth, taking both of my fingers in and sucking gently.
Part of me couldn't believe it. I was split in two, one side knowing everything I was doing, the other side just spectating as I pulled my fingers out of his mouth and slowly began inserting them into his hole.
Oh fuck, I'm really about to do this.
I took the time while I stretched him open to steal a few kisses. Antonio was more than willing to reciprocate, but the sounds he made only made me realise just how badly I wanted him to be mine. Mine.
Once I was sure he was stretched enough, at least enough for me to fuck him and it not be too painful, I pulled my fingers out and wiped them on the towel from my shower, which still hung on my bespoke beside us. I spit in my other hand, using that to wet my dick so it wasn't as bad. I would've used lube, but I don't have any.
“I'll start slow and soft, just to let you get used to me.” True to my word, I pushed in slowly, staying still for a second or two once fully in. Antonio couldn't stay still, wriggling and squirming.
Once I was sure he was used to my size, I began a slow, soft pace. I leaned down, waiting for him to give me a sign, any sort, that he was ready for worse.
He nodded, his moans soft and almost cute. “Oh, fuck, Jayden~ k-keep going, faster, please~!” At his begging, I sped up, my thrusts getting a bit rougher. Antonio's moans got louder. I gradually sped up, getting rougher with every other thrust. It wasn't until I was slamming myself into him at an almost worrying pace that I realised I might be going too hard.
He was holding on tight to my sheets, his eyes rolling into the back of his head as I fucked him harder. He gave me no sign of dislike, a dopey smile forming on his face as I fucked him stupid. I couldn't hold myself back, the months, probably closer to a year now, of restraining myself and keeping my desires secret were getting to be too much, and now that I had an outlet, everything was being released at once.
I repositioned us to where he was on his back, his head on my pillows, as I fucked him into them, on my knees above him. His legs were wrapped around my waist, his hands pinned above his head, my grip tight in his wrists. I had one hand holding his wrists down, the other a phantom touch on his throat. I tightened my grip ever so slightly, just enough for him to feel as his airflow was being restricted.
His eyes shot open, his face flushing darker as he realised what I was doing. I couldn't help myself, I tightened my grip just a bit more, enough to really make him feel it. He moaned, cuming on our chests. I smiled down at him, knowing full well I wasn't done yet.
I let go of his throat, letting him think I was done, before I rammed back into him. The look on his face.. the fear, the shock, the… excitement. I couldn't help but lean down and kiss him quickly.
“Jay- J- Jayden~ i- I already- Oh fuck!” He cut himself off as I repositioned myself. “There! Oh fuck- there! R-Right there! Holy- oh my god Jayden~!” I continued pounding that spot, doing just as he asked. The way he screamed my name fueled me on, and I continued to fuck him relentlessly. I could feel myself getting close, but I held back, wanting to last a bit longer.
“Look at my pretty boy.. moaning my name like some fucking slut…” My voice was a growl as I pulled him in for another kiss, my hand on his throat moving down to his hips, my grip almost bruising him. My nails dug into the fat of his thigh, leaving small, red crescent marks. Antonio's moans devolved into screams of pleasure, begging me to keep going. As if I ever planned on it.
“I'll fuck you until I decide to stop.. is that what you want? To be my fucking toy until I decide you get to be Antonio again?” Antonio nodded, shaking like a leaf under my grip. I leaned down, biting his shoulder. I couldn't stop, fucking him like a damn animal while I bit and kissed his shoulder and neck, leaving teeth marks and hickies in my path.
God, he looked beautiful like this.
“Please- please, J-Jayden~! I'm all yours, yours and yours only~!” As he screamed out, I couldn't hold myself back any longer.
“Oh fuck!~” I moaned, cuming inside of him. I collapsed on top of him, both of us catching our breath.
Once we had regained our energy and cleaned up, we retreated back to the comforts of my bed, snuggled together. Our limbs were intertwined, the warmth from both of us enough to give comfort.
“You really hold nothing back.. huh?” Antonio chuckled as he snuggled closer. I smiled, rubbing his back.
“To be fair, I've done nothing but hold back for damn near a year now.” My voice had a playful undertone.
We heard the others open the front door, calling out to ask if we were home. Antonio smiled, getting up. He made sure the marks I'd left were covered before he kissed my cheek and left, leaving me alone.
I got up, putting on pajama pants. I sat on my bed, debating on what to do.