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Jax's existence sucks. That was something he already knew, at least in some manner, but he only felt it was being confirmed with the day he was having.
It was his birthday, or spawn day or whatever. Time didn't exactly exist in the circus, and he was confident Caine didn't care or know which actual day any of them showed up. Despite that, they were pretending that today was Jax's birthday. He would've walked out, because he really, really didn't care, but he'd been interested when he was offered a gift. He didn't think it could be that bad. At worst? Just a waste of his time, not like he had better things to do.
Now he was stuck with an eyesore of a knockoff that didn't seem to take 'screw off' as an answer. He'd been following Jax around for an hour. If he had it his way... Unfortunately, to his knowledge at least, NPC's couldn't abstract. Again, unfortunate.
It seemed the NPC picked up on his just so cheery attitude and tried to make it worse, because they started to try and talk with him. Which, he couldn't attempt to be receptive if he tried. "You- You know if you're bored, we could do tons of fun things! Like uh, maybe play some games? Get some pizza, a couple of drinks, maybe have a sleepover? Ooh! I really like treehouses-"
"And I really like being left alone. But we can't always get what we want, huh?" The fu[HONK]er actually frowned at that, and Jax couldn't help but relish a bit in their annoyance. Now they could imagine a fraction of how he felt, but they kept persisting.
"No.. but we can make the best of it!" He rolled his eyes, and surprisingly enough the guy actually let out an irritated groan. "I'm trying here, man. The very least you could do is humor me? Even slightly? You're not going to have fun like this."
"You ever considered I don't want to 'have fun'? I doubt it, and I'm pretty sure your version of fun is very different from mine." The NPC squinted, and Jax resisted the urge to shudder. Ew. He hated that expression on his face.
"Yeah, well, I'm here. And I don't plan on going. I'm supposed to–" They paused, and he finally turned to look at them. If they were starting to go through an existence crisis, this would be a whole lot more interesting, but seems things couldn't go his way. "I.. I want to make the day good for you. Let's just do one thing, and if you hate it, I'll leave. That satisfy you?"
"Extremely." He groaned, but whatever. The quicker this was over, the faster he could be left on his own already. "You better have an idea in mind, because I'm not comin' up with any."
His cheap replica smiled, and Jax thought he should really be more irritated by that than he was. "Don't worry, I have the perfect idea! Follow me." They wandered off towards the exit of the circus, and despite his hesitation, he followed. If Jax had to deal with anyone else today.. well, some dumb AI definitely wasn't the worst of it. At least he could have a little fun without the guilt.
Not that he felt guilty otherwise. Stop reading into it.
They walked for a while, and just when Jax was getting ready to complain, he spotted something he'd never seen before. A treehouse. Did Caine really spawn one in just for this? Because the NPC liked them? Seriously? He thought it was stupid already, but waited until he climbed inside to actually verbalize the insults brewing in his head.
The place was.. well. It was pretty big actually, and it gave him a nostalgic feeling he shouldn't have for a past that didn't exist. Not anymore. He hated it. He would've loved it when he was younger, would've stupidly boasted about the consoles and posters and how cool it was to simply have a treehouse. That made him hate it more.
"..Looks like it was designed by a child. Don't know why I expected anything else, though." Instead of reacting irritated like before, the NPC simply laughed. As if he was joking. It must be stupider than he thought. "As cool as this place is.. it isn't exactly activating any cheer within me. So you've got anything better, or can I just leave?"
The other rabbit simply raised a brow at him, and Jax had half the mind to be annoyed until he noticed which exact consoles were there. "Wait. Is that actually– where did you even get that? I haven't had one of these since.." He stopped himself. Not worth thinking about that at all. Regardless, he hadn't had a 360 in a while. Since he was a kid, probably. And here he thought Caine didn't have access to their minds. This said otherwise.
"Seems to be your lucky day then, Red. I've got a few ideas, and I'll need a player two with me." The rabbit smiled again, much wider, and he hated that he briefly thought it was endearing. He needed to control himself.
But a couple of games wouldn't be that bad, would it?
• • • •
It'd been hours. Maybe minutes, but it's felt like too much to be that short. They ended up playing games that Jax hadn't even touched in years. Halo, Minecraft, RDR, all things he left behind for. It was surreal to experience them again, especially in a simulation where he was pretty sure their ward didn't even know what an Xbox was. Despite that.. he was having fun.
He'd learned the rabbits name was Thomas, painfully normal, yet he thought the name fit his carbon copy weirdly well. Thomas was funny, somehow soft while having an edge to him. It's what kept him from being boring. He was also great at games, a poor shooter, but but resilient survivor. For a while, Jax could fool himself into thinking the other may be real. But only for a while.
The illusion broke whenever Thomas talked about him. 'You're so smart, Jax.' 'You're so cool, Jax.' 'I love being around you.' 'I love being your friend.' 'I love–' It felt painfully artificial. If Thomas has been real, Jax would be long gone by now, but what was the pain in indulging just a bit? He was going to disappear by the end of the day anyway. Maybe even any second now. Who knew what Caine was thinking.
But this.. it was nice. Nicer than expected. When the TV was finally switched off, and they'd stopped telling each other horrible jokes, Jax recognized he was doing too much indulging. His chest shouldn't ache from laughter, he shouldn't have moisture in his eyes from losing too much air, he shouldn't have a smile on his face wide enough it actually started to ache. Right.
He'd tensed up involuntarily, but Thomas, no the NPC, didn't seem to notice. Of course it didn't, it wasn't built to understand people emotions. Their emotions. Whatever they were anymore. "You know.. out of my entire life, I don't think I've ever felt so happy to be with someone. Near them, that is. I really love being around you, Jax." It was a simulation. This all was. It was about time Jax went back to acting like it.
"Hah, ain't that cute. He even programmed you to give me little compliments!" Thom– the AI's expression changed to look confused, and he felt angry they'd been made to look so expressive. He much preferred the more.. dumber one's. One's that didn't look at him so Innocently.
"What are you talking about? I'm not–"
"Oh, Thomas.. you never thought about where you came from? What your mother looks like? Your father? Don't tell me you think you're actually real." It was fun, sometimes, to watch NPC's freak out about their morality. Most of them were too stupid to do it with, but this guy? Oh, it'd be easy.
It stared back at him, at first angry and annoyed, then the same distressed look crossed it's face. Like with all others. A confused and deeply overwhelming feeling overcame it, and it was funny. It was funny to watch them tremble and struggle to remember their families. Their friends. This was no different.
Even if Jax didn't feel like laughing.
But this thing, it was like everything about it tried to go against his amusement. It trembled, it shook, it seemed like it'd break down like many others. But it didn't. Instead, it just looked at Jax, confused, but weirdly accepting. "I'm.. I feel real enough. I guess much else doesn't matter."
Jax frowned, then his brow furrowed. There's no way they had gotten over it that quickly. "But you aren't. You're nothing but a background character, made to make me feel good just this once, then to be discarded for the rest of your existence. Ask me, I think that that matters."
It scowled again, good, but then it sighed, shrugging when it noticed Jax staring blankly at it. "Well, I'm doing that, aren't I? Making you feel good? Happy? That's. That's about all I wanted, really. It being my mission makes sense..." No. No, no–
"What? You can't be serious right now! You– you're told that your entire existence is a lie, every single little thing about you, and instead of freaking out, you're just– good? That makes sense to you?" They just shrugged again, and Jax had to resist the urge to pounce on them and break every single digital bone in their body.
"How?! How are you not–?"
"Because you're the one telling me." Thomas smiled, the same smile that had been giving him a nauseous feeling all day, and he looked at Jax as if he was his entire da[DOING]n world. He was, technically. That wasn't nearly as fun of a thought to sit with. "It.. not being real can't be that bad. Not if I'm with you."
This was everything he hated. One of Caine's NPC's trying to become close with him, to convince him it's real, to get him to like it and want it around more. It was hard to tell what was real and what wasn't before, but he adapted. He didn't know if the thing that made this so hard was because he was looking at his own face, or because he'd never had someone that loved him so much.
He was going to kill Caine for doing this. At the very least try. This was too much.
Thomas stared at him as if he got him, as if he understood even a fraction of what Jax felt, and held his hand like he was just that important. Like he was everything. "Nothing seems that bad once I'm with you. Not my life– or well, the lack of it, or how scary being 'discarded' sounds. You just..."
Thomas' grip on his hand tightened, then he was much, much closer. Jax didn't know why he didn't move, why he didn't leave and humiliate this useless thing already, but his grip kept him there. Kept him staring, as if he wasn't better than this. "You make things better. I love being with you, Jax. I was made to be with you. Be by your side. You complete me."
Thomas intertwined their fingers together, and it was an intimacy Jax hadn't experienced in a long time. He didn't know what to do, or say, or how to act. All he could see, and feel, was this creature. Built and made for him. His 'best friend'. What was he supposed to do?
"Tommy." The other looked up at him, at first curiously, then with much more intent. Jax couldn't tell just what that meant, but he realized quickly once he felt Thomas' other hand land on his hip. Oh. Oh, okay. He had to be going crazy. There was no world he should be able to do this. Right? He could feel the red rabbit move closer, close enough to feel his breath against his face, then he just.. stared. Jax couldn't help but feel disappointed.
"Can I kiss you?" No. Yes? He didn't want to think about that. His instinct was to tell him to kick rocks, everything else? Mixed. He wanted to to say no, this was stupid and kissing a literal clone of himself was a little self-absorbed, even for him. But then he could feel Thomas press against him, feel his eyes burning into him with desire that definitely wasn't supposed to be there, and. When was the last time he genuinely touched someone?
He'd sooner abstract before verbally saying yes, but he managed somehow to nod, and Thomas didn't waste a second before pressing their lips together. It was weird. He hated it. This was the last thing he should be doing. He thinks he'd die if it stopped now. He didn't know how long they sat there, pressed together, but all things considered, the kiss was long but simple. Innocent.
He pulled away after a few seconds, minutes? He couldn't tell, it felt like his head was filled with fog the moment he got in this treehouse. He hated this. Hated Thomas. Hated Caine for this stupid present, but he didn't leave. He couldn't.
Jax barely got to take a few breaths in to relax before that mouth was back on his, pressing in a deeper way. He was embarrassed to think he was practically mindless for a minute, until he gasped, a soft thing he hadn't even realized he'd done until he felt a tongue graze against his. This definitely wasn't allowed. But not like he's ever let that stop him before.
Jax panted as he wrapped his arms around Thomas' neck, feeling his back press against the floor. When in the world did that happen? He didn't know, and couldn't find it in him to care when the other's weight pressed against him so nicely. He was quickly understanding why Zooble asked for the ability to have sex now, and they sounded much smarter to him now than ever before. Regardless, this was good too.
Thomas felt good in a way few things, and people, ever did. He felt perfect against Jax, perfect in the way he seemed to know just exactly how to get an reaction out of him. How to get him to groan and beg for more as if he needed it. As if.
He only realized just how pathetic he was being once Thomas pulled away, and he whined. Whined. Embarrassingly enough, he only finally pushed him back once he started placing kisses on his neck, and muttered about how pretty he was. Right. NPC. This, all of this, was a moment of weakness. A big one, but a moment.
Jax pushed Thomas off of him completely, panting as he moved to get as far from him as possible. This. If before was too far already, everything he'd just done had been not only jumping over the line completely, but blowing it up in the process. He stared at the thing that had caused him too many problems this afternoon alone, and tried to go back to normal. Hard to do when he could feel the prints of its hands burning against his skin.
"...Don't ever touch me again." He got up, much too woobly on his legs for his tastes, but he was humiliated. He needed to leave. Before he was gone though, he heard one last thing from the AI before he never looked back.
"I love you."
• • • •
Thomas was filled with dread.
Not over what happened with Jax, no. No matter how closed off the other got, he knew he was his friend no matter what. The dread he was feeling was the knowledge he was going to die. Or according to Jax, at least be disposed of.
Each moment that ticked by was one second closer to the inevitable end he knew was coming, yet despite that, he couldn't help but smile. He got to kiss his best friend, how could he not?
He was happy, that at least in his last moments he got something to think about. Fond memories to hang onto before the inevitable.
When God finally came for him, he didn't speak, he didn't open his eyes, and he didn't even move. He just took a deep breath and thought about Jax.
What a pretty bunny his friend was.