Archive of Our Own

The wind that blew past him was restless, like a wave of icy, lake water lapping relentlessly at his face as he trudged on by. He didn't dare to look back, couldn't bear to see his face again, because he knew he wouldn't be able to leave if he tried.

It was only when he arrived home, frozen from the tips of his fingers all the way to his bones, that it finally sunk in.

That he might have just committed the biggest mistake of his life.

The snow crunched under his boots as he trekked up the hill, his breath coming out in puffs of white against the fur-lined edges of his coat. Izuku shivered and clung onto every bit of warmth afforded to him, rubbing the palms of his calloused hands together even though he knew it did next to nothing to quell the cold seeping right through his bones. His lips cracked, his eyes were heavy, but still he carried on, eager to get home where it was warm and where his mother was surely waiting for him, hungry and anxious.

This is what he got for closing the shop so late, he thought, especially when he'd been planning since before the sun even rose that he'd be at home before it set. He wanted to go home early for once especially since his mother was still recovering from her injury, but the sudden arrival of the merchant group had him staying an hour later than he was expecting.

The village had come alive earlier that afternoon the moment they saw the caravan emerging from the forest—the sight of the horse-drawn wagons and their colorfully dressed riders sending every single alpha and omega in a flurry as they raced to get first pick at the market. The villagers hadn't been expecting the merchant group to be visiting so late into the season and so close to hunter's moon. It was practically unheard of, but definetely not unwelcome, as their presence meant more chances for all the people participating in the hunt to get appropriate last-minute gifts for the solstice.

Izuku had his own theories as to why they might have chosen to make the trip even if it was the dead of the winter, but he really didn't want to think about it now. Surely he wasn't that important that an entire merchant group would make the dangerous journey just because of the wills of a single man, right?

He sighed as he looked up ahead, trying to gauge how much longer he'd have to walk in the darkness, when he saw it.

Up ahead at the top of the hill, smoke wafted up the air, just past the treeline, and instantly the pang of pain in his head that he'd been trying to stave off all morning resurfaced.

He hastened his steps, muttering under his breath: "I told her not to—!"

It only took him half the time necessary to complete the rest of his walk, not even feeling an ounce apologetic as he stormed inside the house, the front door banging against the wall and rattling the window panes.

His mother flinched as the door slammed back shut. She was hunched over a cauldron, stock still and waiting a few seconds before turning her head in Izuku's direction, a guilty expression already plastered on her face as she greeted him with a half-hearted, "Welcome home, dear!"

Izuku sighed in response, crossing from the door to the fireplace in six long strides. He grabbed the ladle from her hands before putting it aside, his hand gently nudging her back to the sitting area. If any other person would have been looking through their window they'd see nothing but the heartwarming sight of a young man helping his mother, though his voice at that moment was anything but warm.

"Sit down." He threw her a look. "The healer told you to rest, didn't she? Come on, you're still sick."

Izuku doesn't even know why he bothered though, because Inko only brushed his hand off with a huff. She side-stepped and grabbed the ladle from the dining table again, her ears deaf to Izuku's protests as she hunched over the cauldron again, stirring at the pot that he was sure she'd been standing over for probably two hours already.

The healer told them she was not to be up and about for another week.

He hovered her. "Mom."

"I'm already feeling better, dear." She scooped a bit of the soup and tasted it, humming in satisfaction. "Besides, thinking about you going home tired and then having to cook dinner for the both of us didn't feel right to me. I haven't cooked in weeks, Izuku. I'm already feeling better." She cocked her hip from side to side, a boxy grin on her face as she tried to hide a few winces. "See?"

"Mom, you know the healer said—"

She smiled at him, interrupting him with a pinch to the side of his waist which only earned her a few grumbles. "The soup's almost finished anyway, no use crying over what's been done already. You can set the table if you want?"

Izuku rolled his eyes, though he did as she asked. "Fine. Suit yourself. If the healer asks me why you're still not better after your check-up tomorrow I'll tell her it was all you."

Inko just shrugged at him with a cheeky smile.

"You know it's going to be me who's gonna be hearing from her, right? Not you."

She laughed, turning her back towards him to continue stirring at the soup.

With the table set and the food served, they ate dinner in silence. The wood crackled as it burned over the fireplace, filling the room with warmth and making the silence bearable.

"Why are you home so late?" Inko asked him after a few moments.

Izuku shrugged. "The merchants came."

"Merchants?" Inko's mouth parted, her eyebrows shooting off almost past her hairline in shock. "Oh my. Really? So late into the season?"

Izuku nodded quickly, shoving as much food as he could into his mouth.

"Did they say why they were here? Or maybe the elders sent out a letter for them… but still, isn't it far too dangerous to be making the trip back over the mountains this late into the winter? They'd have to stay here over the season, wouldn't they? Did Mitsuki mention anything?"

Izuku kept his mouth shut, chewing the food in an almost exaggerated manner. Bad manners, he knew, but his mother should probably get the idea that he didn't want to talk.

Inko narrowed her eyes on him.

"Izuku, do you know why they're here?"

He shoveled another serving of wheat and soup into his mouth.

She set her fork on the table, a little too roughly with how the impact of the steel against the wood made him jump. "Izuku."

Izuku paused and swallowed. "What?"

"Did a certain merchant come with the caravan?"

He stared at her.

"Yeah, Rody was with them." At Inko's excited smile, he quickly added, "but I haven't seen him yet."

She frowned. "Why?"

"I got too busy with the shop, new shipments and all. I wasn't expecting it along with the rest, obviously, so it got a little hectic." He answered hurriedly. "I don't know when I'm seeing him… er, maybe tomorrow when I run chores at the market."

Inko regarded him with a careful gaze. Izuku could feel it even if he had his head turned away. Her eyes bore through the side of his face.

"Shop is closed for tomorrow then."

He whipped his head back to her. "You can't just—"

"Oh, I can and I will," she says as she wags a finger at him. "If anyone needs anything they're free to come by the house instead. We always keep stock at the basement, you already know that," she continued patiently. "The hunt only comes once a year, Izuku. Maybe you should go?"

He grit his teeth. "You know how I feel about that, mom."

"This will be the fifth one, dear." His mother said, whisking her spoon around her plate absentmindedly. Her eyes were downturned, a little puffed up. Izuku tried his hardest to ignore the fact that they were slightly red at the corners. “Don’t you think it’s time?”

He smiled wryly at her, though his eyes remained downcast at his plate. "I didn't know you were so eager to kick me out—ow!" He quickly drew his hand back, his knuckles slightly stinging from Inko's swat. "I was just joking!"

His mother did not find it funny though.

"Come on, mom. I was just joking," he tried to placate her, "I mean, it’s not like me not attending the past few years has ever bothered anyone. I don’t think anyone will notice if I’m not there for this year either.”

Inko sighed. "You know I'm not getting any younger, love. Every winter that passes just keeps getting colder and colder, and soon enough I won’t be here to help keep the house warm for when you get home from the shop. I just want to die knowing you'll be well taken care of—"

Izuku groaned. “Oh my god, mom. We already talked about this! You broke your hip trying to move the bookshelf. You aren't dying.” 

“Izuku, please." Inko huffed. "Can't a mother worry about her only son’s happiness?”

"But I am happy." He picked at a piece of fish on the corner of his plate as he spoke, and when then looked up to see his mother mirroring his motions with her potatoes. "I'm happy with you… with the house, with the shop. I learn new things everyday from Toshinori and Chiyo and everybody else. So many things." He sighed. "I don't need… a mate to do all of those things." He shook his head in disbelief. "What even brought this on?"

"Well, I was at the market yesterday and had a chat with Nemuri—"

"The Lady Midnight?" To this, Izuku stared at his mother. She seemed to have caught herself saying something she wasn't supposed to and quickly turned away. Izuku would have none of it. "You know the only thing on that woman's head is—"

"Yes, yes, I know," she interrupted. "We all know how she is, still participating in the solstice even though it’s been a decade and a half since she’s presented. I won’t pretend that I know what goes on in her head, but she did get me thinking.” Inko sighed. “How is it that there is someone in this village that has gone on fifteen hunts, and another that has not gone at least once? Izuku, you're already on your twenty-first season. You've already forgone about five hunts since we’ve settled back here." She huffed. "I know the elders here in Musutafu are different. It doesn't matter to them whether or not you have a mate. You could go the rest of your life without one if you so wished for it but… but it scares me.”

Izuku watched as she hung her head low, her shoulders shaking as she tried to continue, “If word spreads around that you still haven’t mated and it gives people the idea that there isn’t anyone out there to defend you then you could… you might…” Inko trailed off, swallowing heavily, her hand to her chest as she tried to keep her emotions in check. She hiccuped in between words, “There are too many bad people out there that want to hurt you just for who you are and I can’t let that happen. Not again.”

 Izuku quickly stood up and went to her side, a comforting hand rubbing circles onto her back.

"Mom, it's okay," he whispered, trying his best to keep his words steady even though he could feel his own panic settling in. "We're not there anymore. We're here. In Musutafu. No one is coming to harm us. We're safe here. We'll be okay."

"I know," Inko said as she leaned her head towards his shoulder, their food getting colder by the second as they both lost their appetites. "I just want to make sure you'll always be safe. That night, when you were dragged back into the village, broken and bleeding all over the floor that one winter evening I… I nearly felt like I'd died right then and there.” She paused, taking a painful, wheezing breath as the memory of his near-death flashed behind her eyelids once more. “Maybe I really have.” Inko gripped his arm like a lifeline. "How could they have been so cruel? I still don’t understand. You were just a child."

"They were just scared." Izuku said, laughing dryly. "Scared of someone tainting their perfect little sanctuary. It’s true anyway, isn’t it? What I am isn’t natural."

"No, my love, please don’t say that. You were nothing but innocent, and they were nothing but cowards." She spat. "When that brave boy Rody came rushing in they immediately scampered off with their tails between their legs. Who knows when they'll attack next? Word must already be spreading about where you are."

"I don't think they even care anymore, mom. It's been so long, hasn't it?"

"A grudge is a powerful thing, dear." Inko raised her hand and brushed the side of his face, ruffling the hair behind his ears. He knew what she meant, what she was looking at—the jagged scare that ran along his cheek all the way to his ear. "There's no stopping them from finishing what they've started. Rody had been too kind to them. He may have done what was right in that moment, but that only means he's given them another chance to come back."

Izuku sighed, defeated. "It doesn't matter. In a year's time I'll be off your hair going on that expedition Toshinori has been planning all season. If they've heard word about my whereabouts, by the time they get here I'll be long gone."

"And that's all the more reason to get a mate." His mother insisted. "I don't want you all alone on that trip, especially not if you’re travelling anywhere close to that wretched place."

"Mom, please, I don't need a mate to protect me. I’ve been training all year with Toshinori and with—with Kacchan.” He hesitated, swallowing deeply. “Even if I join the hunt it isn’t a guarantee that I’ll find someone. Even if I went it wouldn’t work either way. I’m not,” he laughed softly at himself, his mouth twisting. “I can’t. You know more than anyone why I can’t.”

His mother caressed his face.

"But it will put my mind at ease," she said, shaking her head. "I can’t force you to do something you don’t want to do, but I thought I’d let you know eitherway.” She smiled at him, the best that she could. “Nemuri told me, it’s actually the thing she was so excited about, the fact that everyone from your age group, the ones that don't have a mate yet, are joining the solstice festivities this year. It’ll be the biggest one this village has ever seen."

Izuku blinked at her. "Everyone?"

"Yes, everyone." Inko repeated. "Even the chief's son."

It's almost comical, the way his hand slid across the table as he hastily stood up, causing the plate to dangerously veer to the edge of the table and fall to the floor with a deafening clang!

His mother flinched at the sound, sparing him the embarrassment as she immediately looked away from his wide-open mouth and bugged out eyes to gather the mess on the floor.

"But I—I—" Izuku stuttered, struggling to find the right words. He swallowed harshly, every single gulp feeling like a rock down his windpipe. He winced, "but everybody knows I'm not participating in this season, right?"

His mother nodded. "Everyone but you."

Izuku's stomach began to churn, his heart beating a hundred miles a minute as it all sank in. A million questions flashed through his brain, but only one really mattered.

If Izuku wasn't participating in the hunt, then who was he joining for then?

Dear Izuku,

How are you?

I fear the oncoming winter may not be as kind to us as it has been in the past and it will be even more of a struggle to get back to Musutafu in time for the solstice. Still, I will do my best to arrive with the caravan before it happens. 

I don’t know if word has already gotten around but surely you may have heard it from a friend or two. I apologize that I hadn’t told you myself, but I wanted to get the blessing of your elders before I made myself clear. 

Last summer I officially requested an audience from the village chief and the elders for permission to participate in the hunt before I left and after months of waiting I have finally gotten word from them.

And so I write you this letter now to express my intention clearly.

I know that my confession the past summer may have come as a surprise to you, but please know that I have been harboring these feelings since the day that I met you. They were not on a whim, and they were not due to my presentation, but rather it is something I’ve always felt deeply in my heart. I may joke around with you over many things, as there is nothing more than your smiles and your laughter that I treasure most, but I want you to know that I've done nothing but bare my heart to you in honesty that afternoon. 

You asked me why I’ve chosen you and it is because of this: that though the village of Otheon has not been the kindest to you, you've never let that dampen your spirit. You've remained kind, and strong, and brave in the face of its adversities, and I've never met anyone with a purer heart. You are beautiful, as the trees are in the spring, and as bright as the sun on a clear summer’s day. You have given me warmth on the darkest of winters, and you make the cold autumns bearable. You are the light of my life, always have been.

That is why I love you.

I know you've made a home for yourself there in Musutafu and I would be loath to take you from it. I've come to terms that you may not wish to be back in Otheon, and though it has been the home of my forefather’s, with each day that passes my fondness for you grows stronger than the hold that this land has over my being. Not a fortnight has passed without a thought of you in my mind.

I would move mountains for you, Izuku. I would uproot the entirety of my life, my family, to be where you are.

You need only to call for me and I will find you, wherever it may be.

'Till then, would you keep me in your thoughts?

Your dearest friend,

Rody

Izuku woke up restless that morning, shivering and willing himself to go back to sleep. He hadn't been feeling quite right since that disastrous dinner with his mother, and he wondered if he'll have to wait until the end of the season to feel okay again.

Hell, depending on the outcome, he might not ever be.

He has wheedled his way out of joining every hunt for the past five years—the first two due to his interest in taking over his mother's apothecary, and the third and fourth from injuries. He's already past his twentieth season and he knew that time was ticking, not that it mattered to him, or to anyone, really.

There was no inner wolf calling out to him to take a mate, a persistent voice in his head that would drive an alpha to the brink of insanity unless that thirst for an other half was quenched. There was no ‘body clock’ to look out for, as most omegas would worry about. 

He was a beta, after all.

And betas had nothing.

He was lucky that no one in Musutafu gave a rat's ass that he wasn't an alpha or an omega. People mostly kept to themselves, never overstepped or whispered about people's dynamic. Izuku had nearly wrought himself dry with guilt the first time he chose to skip a hunt, considering that despite being a beta it was still expected of him to find a mate. What surprised him though was when not just one, or two, but the half of his peer group chose to not to go.

The people of Musutafu didn't care at all if you didn't follow tradition.

Such a thing never would’ve passed if he was in Otheon.

His father's hometown that they moved to when he was six was a small village with an odd backwards mentality. The people of Otheon were a traditional sort. They still followed the ways of the old, of the alpha being the sole provider of the household, and relegating most child-bearing omegas to housework no matter how skilled they were at hunting or scavenging or other such things. If you didn’t fit into a mold that they’ve designed for you, then you were better off out of the village, or dead inside it.

Izuku was only a pup when his family moved there for better opportunities. His father had died shortly before his fourteenth season, leaving him and his mother alone to fend for themselves, and as if it couldn't get any worse, after years of waiting and waiting and waiting for him to present as one or the other, one quick trip to the clinic confirmed that he might not ever.

He was part of a small percentage of betas in the world. People who were neither alpha nor omega. They couldn’t shift, couldn’t bond, scent nor lay claim. They were the outcasts, the outsiders, the ones that couldn’t ever belong to a pack. In communities where scent was everything, Izuku was an anomaly. Scents refused to stick to him, and he couldn’t get himself to smell like anything even if he tried. In a world where scent told you everything there was to know about a person—especially about whether their intentions were pure—a lot of trust between pack members was solidified with marks or bonds.

Even if Izuku scratched at his glands from dawn to dusk, he'd draw nothing but blood.

The people of Otheon didn’t like that.

He knew his mother's fears in the present day weren't unfounded. Having a mate would ensure that he'd always have a protector, someone who would put his safety above all others, and fulfill her dream of a future where Izuku would never want for anything.

Still, even with a town as accepting as Musutafu, surely it was an alpha’s instinct to want for an omega that could give them a child, right?

He grit his teeth at the thought of it…. and that was how he walked himself all the way to the town hall—his jaw tight, fists clenched inside the pockets of his coat, footsteps hurried.

"Well, well, well… seems like the weather isn't the only thing that's cold this morning." Ochako regarded him with a quivering brow as soon as he waltzed into the hall. "What's up with you?"

"The solstice."

"Ah, well." She started to wiggle in place, mirth on her eyes as she sang: "Water is wet. The sky is blue. Give me something new."

Izuku sighed. "'Chako, I’m being serious."

Ochako arched her brow at him. "And you think I’m not?"

Her tone made him wilt back in defeat, shoulders slumped as he slid down the wall right next to where she was standing. He immediately rummaged through his bag for a vial and his trusted mortar and pestle and mad quick work at the mixture with no regard to who was watching him, the scent of the green-tinged paste wafting up and made the other omega's nose scrunch. She angled her head away, already nauseous.

"Did you have to bring that here?"

"Sorry," he replied, sheepish. "I feel like I'll go crazy if I just stand here doing nothing."

Ochako silently watched him as he rummaged through his bag for herbs and powders and more paste. She frowned with each additional ingredient, nose scrunching as the potent smell of the mixture began to fill the corner of the hall where they sat.

"You okay?" Uraraka arched her brows at him. "Why do you look more nervous than the people that are actually joining?"

"It’s—agh." He grabbed at his head in frustration, the mortar landing on the ground with a dull thud. He swiveled his head left and right as he distractedly muttered, "I wasn't even supposed to be here."

"Then why'd you even come here then?" Ochako pressed, following his line of sight, wondering what it was that he was so jumpy about. "You know you don't have to be here, right? Didn't you say you weren't going to join?"

He grumbled under his breath, his voice so soft that even Ochako, with her big ears and affinity for gossip, had to tilt her head towards him just so she could catch whatever it was he was saying. She furrowed her brows when he avoided her eyes again, looking instead to the far end of the hall, seemingly searching for something or… 

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Looking for someone?"

"Me? No!" Izuku flushed impossibly red. "No one. Why do you ask?"

"Because you've been turning your head this way and that like a damn chicken for the past ten minutes. I fear you might break your neck with all your swiveling." She pointed out. "Are you joining the event or not? You don't even need to be here. Is there someone you're waiting for?"

"Waiting for?" he shrieked. "Come on, don't be weird."

"Me? Weird? Why don't you try not being weird?" She looked at him, affronted. "Come on, what is it?"

“My mom chased me out of the house.” He admitted. “And she took the keys to the shop.”

“We know you would’ve broken yourself in. Don't take me for a fool, Izuku, that wouldn’t have stopped you.”

Izuku rolled his eyes at her and her well-meaning gaze.

“Fine.” Izuku closed his eyes, mulling over his words. "It's Kacchan."

For a while there was only silence between the two. Uraraka continued looking at him with wide, inquisitive eyes, as if she was waiting for a follow-up to his statement. Her eyes slowly narrowed even further until she was frowning at him.

She slid back down the wall next to him, her voice dipping even lower as she tipped her head into his direction so that only he could hear her next words. "So you heard, huh?" She covered her mouth, whispering into his ear next. "Well, you heard right. It's true. The great chief-wannabe himself is finally joining this season."

The confirmation does nothing but make him wince

"Isn’t this great news?” Uraraka rolled her eyes at him. “This might be your only chance to let him know how you feel."

Izuku ran his hands over his face, his words coming out muffled. "You know that's never going to happen. Look, I’m not even supposed to be here. Even if my mom wanted me to come I know I could’ve just gone somewhere else but I thought… Well, I don’t know what I thought.” He sighed, nursing his head. It was already starting to pound and it wasn’t even midday yet. “God, this is stupid."

“It’s not stupidity, babe. It’s instinct. The alpha you’ve been pining for is finally joining the hunt after god knows how long. Of course you’d be here.” She scoffed. "Come on, you've been in love with him since the day you could walk and chase after him. You go away for ten years thinking it’s all water under the bridge and guess what? The moment you step foot within the village you fall for him all over again like an idiot, like you never left.” She tutted at him, her head shaking left to right. “Don't even think about lying to me, Izuku. It was practically written all over your face. I know. I was there."

Izuku closed his eyes, trying to wash away the dull ache in his head. He leaned back far too quickly and accidentally hit it against the wall, causing him to shout and clutch at his head.

"Izuku!" Uraraka worriedly fretted over him. "Come on, it's not that bad. Just join in and if it leads you to him then it's all good and if it doesn't then it doesn't. Do you really want to live your life never knowing?"

"God, I just," Izuku huffed, the back of his head stinging painfully. "Why would I even bother? We all know it won’t work."

“Name me a beta who has gone on the hunt and come back disappointed.”

Izuku clacked his mouth shut. He knew that while he couldn’t name one that didn’t come back disappointed,  he also couldn’t name another that was successful. 

It’s just never been done before.

Izuku’s the first beta that Musutafu has had in a good, long while. Most betas never stayed long in packs. They’ve never quite fit in. But they valued his mother’s expertise with the apothecary, and they knew that she would only stay if Izuku stayed, too, and that meant accommodating him as well. 

The village has done all that they could to make him feel at home, and though he’s tried to reciprocate, it’s been a struggle. Most of them were wary towards him. His scent was completely neutral, not even like a pup, with undertones of a scent that would promise to bloom once they became of age. They could never tell what Izuku was thinking, what he was feeling. He couldn’t connect with the pack in a way that went deeper than the physical or mental. 

If he were to pursue Katsuki, how could he lead at his side if he couldn’t form that connection with his people?

"How do we know it won’t if we don’t try?” Uraraka whispered, sensing his distress. "You can be honest with me, you know. If there's anyone in this village you can confide in, you know it's me."

"It's,” he sighed, pinching the space between his brows. “Fine. Okay, I know this is going to sound stupid."

She angled her head towards him in challenge. "Try me."

He breathed deeply, playing the words over and over in his head, before going for it. 

"I’m a beta."

For a while, Ochako doesn't say anything. Nothing in her face betrayed a single thought. Her face was completely blank, before every second that ticked by slowly morphed it into a frown.

She threw him a look. "That's it?"

"What do you mean that's it?” Izuku sputtered. “Ochako, I’m—I’m a freak of nature! I shouldn’t even exist. It’s not natural for someone not to present. I can't bond. I can’t shift. I can’t,” He sighed. “I can’t do anything."

"Izuku! Stop saying that about yourself." Ochako chastised him. She looked around, waving her hands as she floundered for words. "It’s not that I don’t understand you. Maybe I can’t, not really, but I try my damn hardest everyday and with full confidence I can say that you’re not a freak and I’d punch anyone who tries to say otherwise.” She huffed, fanning herself after her outburst. “Nobody thinks of you that way. I get that being able to bond is important to some people but we're not that, really, it's not that serious."

"But it is. This is different! Kacchan is—ugh, he’s—" Izuku groaned. "He's the chief's son."

"Just because he's the chief's son doesn't mean he'll be the chief when he gets of age. He'll still need to prove himself." She said matter-of-factly. "Succession doesn't work like that here in Musutafu. I mean, to be fair, he does get a leg up by just being related to Mitsuki herself, but that's really about it. Leadership isn't bound by blood, nor are the roles that you play in the community." Uraraka flicked at his forehead again, earning herself a scowl from the omega. "I get that where you came from, it's a lot more traditional, but really there's nothing for you to be worried about." She sighed. "It doesn’t matter how well he can bond or if he’s got the best scent mankind has ever known. He still worked for it, didn’t he? The same way you learn the ways of the forest, of nurturing the plants and knowing their remedies. There’s so much more to leading a pack than just how you were born."

Izuku turned his head away. The mortar and pestle lay forgotten beside him. Its scent was still overpowering, though he knew it didn’t matter now that Ochako must’ve been secreting a vicious, unpleasant scent all around them with how upset she was. He didn’t need the ability to distinguish scent to regret bringing the topic up, especially if he wanted her to be successful with her own hunt later.

A few alphas and omegas that lingered around the hall were already pointedly avoiding them. Great.

"Well, it's your choice whether or not to believe me," Ochako continued. "But we all know Bakugo is the last person to ever hold your dynamic against you. He’s been picking fights with you and treating you as a rival ever since the two of you were pups and that’s never changed, has it? He sees you as an equal, a challenge. What you are doesn’t matter to him. It never did. Not as a pup, and not now that he’s an alpha. He still views you like the little shit you are, and we all know you’re the only one crazy enough to actually go head-to-head with someone as crazy as him.” She bumped him with an arm. “Come on, the least you could do is give him, and yourself, more credit."

Izuku wanted to believe her. He really did, but: "I can't."

Ochako released a long, painfully disappointed sigh. "Izuku, it can't be that bad—"

"No, no, I really—I can't." Izuku turned towards her, his brows furrowed as he clutched at her sleeve. "It’s not fair to him, to his future. He’s destined for so much more than what I can offer. The entire village has plans for him, and he has plans of his own, and me being there isn’t going to help him any."

"And why? Because you can’t bond like the rest of us?" She flicked a finger at his forehead. "I’m here with you on my own accord, aren’t I? And Tsuyu, and Tenya, and all the rest. We’re your friends, not because we pity you because you’re different, but because you’re Izuku.” She grinned at him, though it was beginning to crack. “You’re brave and strong and crazy and stubborn and I could go on and on and on about all the qualities that make you a good person and being a beta isn’t any of them. I didn't need to know if you were an omega or an alpha to know in my heart that you were a good person, a good friend."

Izuku looked up at her.

"There’s so much more to the pack than just scenting, or bonding, or being able to reproduce or hunt or whatever it is that our dynamic tells us to do." She flashed him a watery smile, the corners of her lips just slightly shaking in her effort to stay strong for him. “I love you, and so many others do, too. This is your home, Izuku.”

Izuku sputtered, a flush already rising high on his cheeks. He wiped the corner of her eye with a careful thumb, laughing at the both of them even as his own eyes were straining.

“Come on, don’t cry." He hit her gently with his elbow, leaning in even closer. "Even Toga’s not going to find that cute. If she sees you in the forest with your ugly mug like that I fear she’s going to start running the other way."

“Oh, shut up.” She laughed, sniffling all the while. “She’d find me cute even if I rolled around in the mud, you know.”

“Come on, let’s try it, why don’t we?" She wiggled her brows at him mischievously. "Maybe we’ll even have a double ceremony come spring, hm? And even if Bakugo isn’t there it doesn’t mean he’s the only alpha waiting for you, right? Lots of fish in the sea, so I’ve heard."

“Oh god, please don’t remind me.” Izuku groaned, covering his face with his hands, the mortar and pestle having been left to the side. Ochako merely cackled at his reaction. 

"Perhaps I read you wrong and there's someone else after all that you're waiting for?" She teased. "I heard through the grapevine this morning that there's a certain merchant boy that's staying at the inn. He's travelled all this way, even through the winter, because of a certain someone. Hm.” She paused, tapping at her lip with a finger. “Oh, I wonder who it is?" She squealed, shaking him with her hands around his shoulders. 

“I liked it when you were a little more sober.” He shook her hands off him, eager to get away from her screeching. "Do you exist just to make my life difficult?"

She flashed him the brightest smile she could muster all morning, hugging him with her full body. She pressed her face flush to his cheek, brushing her hair all over him. 

“I’m going to be mated this spring, Izuku. I just know it in my heart and I’m so happy.” She confessed. “I just want you to be happy, too.”

She was scenting him, the way close friends in a pack would do to another. He didn’t know what she smelled like, but he reckoned it would be something sweet, like strawberries or a peach. He wished sorely that he could offer her the same, to let her know just how grateful he was for her company, by scent and bond alone.

His heart tinged at the reminder of his own deficiency.

Ochako, completely oblivious to his dilemma, only smiled at him. "I wonder if—"

"Midoriya?"

She paused, blinking at him, before the both of them turned towards the person who had just spoken. 

It was Aizawa, one of the elders. He looked even worse for wear, with bags under his eyes that looked even deeper than normal, and wearing rugged clothes that indicated he hadn't quite had a restful sleep in god knows how long.

"Are you here for the solstice?" The elder asked him.

"Um, I—I actually," Izuku floundered, looking towards Ochako who just sent him a puzzled expression of her own. "Actually, I don't—"

"Doesn't matter." The elder shook his head, already heading back where he came from, though not without having left a final word. "Toshinori needs you. Please go to the den."

"Come with me to the mountain."

Izuku looked up from where he was hunched over the desk, counting down the coins the last customer had left. He frowned as he gathered it up—gold, silver and bronze—all of varying currencies with different sorts of plants and creatures etched onto both sides, and stared at the alpha who was standing in front of him, blocking out the light from the late sun. "What? Now?"

"Yeah, come with me to the mountain," Katsuki said again. "You're fucking stinkin' up the place and warding off every potential customer within a ten foot radius anyway. I'm doing auntie a favor and airing the shop out."

Izuku rolled his eyes. "You know I don't smell like anything, Kacchan."

"To you." The alpha huffed, flicking Izuku's forehead and earning himself a whine. "But my nose ain't lying and it's telling me that your mopey ass ain't helping your mother pay rent. Get your ass up from that chair and let's go."

He knew that there wasn't any truth to what Katsuki was saying. There was no way Katsuki could have smelled the dips in his moods or know how absolute dogshit he was feeling.

In a sense, Izuku preferred it that way. He liked it better when people couldn’t tell just how awful he was feeling most days.

But the expressions on his face weren't so easy to conceal.

It had been days since that letter arrived, and as Rody had asked of him, not a day has passed that he hasn't thought of it, of him.

But it was all for the wrong reasons.

It's not that he didn't love his friend. He knew Rody like the back of his hand, and had grown up with the other attached to his hip from the moment his family had stepped foot into Otheon. He treated the Soul children as if they were his own siblings and treated Rody like a friend he'd known for all his life and not ten.

If Izuku hadn't known the things he knew and hadn't been born the way that he was then in another life maybe he could have loved Rody.

But as he gathered up the coins and made his way to the till, feeling his nape burn from the heat of those carmine eyes watching his every move, Izuku knew that he couldn't.

Not as long as Katsuki existed.

"Fine." Izuku huffed, turning his head away to avoid the other's gaze. "I'll meet you at the fence."

Izuku had no idea what was in store for him when he arrived at the lead alpha's den. Toshinori was one of his mentors, and one of Katsuki's, as well. They've been learning from him for the past few years, all in different areas, and it always made him happy every time he got to spend time with the other.

It wasn't uncommon for the elder to call him to his den, mostly because aside from his mother, Toshinori was also a highly skilled botanist and one that Izuku was trying his best to learn from. It was odd though that he'd called him on the day of the hunt, and with Aizawa, of all people, to boot.

Izuku knew it was serious.

"It's a very important season, a record we haven't seen in many years." Toshino chuckled. It has been a few minutes since he'd arrived at the den, and so far Toshinori has told him nothing but small talk about the weather and of the upcoming hunt. "Isn't that amazing? Nearly every single unmated alpha and omega joining."

And not a single beta, Izuku thought to himself.

He nervously wrung his hands together, getting increasingly anxious by the minute. What was he even doing there? Surely Toshinori hadn't called him just to chit chat, right? The festivities had already begun, and soon the ceremonial trek up the mountain for the flowers that would aid in the hunt would commence. 

So what was Toshinori still doing at his den?

"Fret not, boy. I didn't call you here to grill you about why you're not joining." Toshinori sent him a wide grin. That wasn’t quite what Izuku had in mind, but it did help him remember. "I understand some people may want to delay or, well, they don't feel that is their season yet though they've already come of age. Some may even feel that they'll never be ready and that's okay. If you feel that way, then rest assured that no judgement will come from me."

Izuku released a relieved sigh.

Toshinori ruffled his hair with an enormous hand, nearly engulfing the entirety of his head. "I know that your mother and some…. well, multiple… well-meaning people may have been pushing for you to get settled, but believe me, there are more important things to consider."

“Like the expedition?” Izuku offered.

Toshinori flashed him a proud smile, the corners of his kind eyes crinkling. “Yes, of course. You’ve been looking forward to it, haven’t you?”

“Have been all year, really.” Izuku eagerly nodded. “I know that the solstice comes first and you’ve been busy with that, so I’ve been taking my time with other things, but as soon as the festivities are finished I’m ready to start preparing.”

Toshinori regarded him with a wary smile, one that Izuku was immediately suspicious of.

“You might already be wondering why I've called you here." 

Izuku bit the inside of his lips. “Is it… not about the expedition?”

"While I’m glad that you’re very eager to start it soon, as am I, I’ve actually called you here for a different reason.” Toshinori chuckled, looking embarrassed at having already been caught, though his amusement didn't last long. His face fell, looking weary. “Unfortunately our chosen omega has fallen ill."

"What?" Izuku's eyes widened. "Mina?"

"Yes, Mina Ashido." Toshinori nodded solemnly. "That Kaminari boy went early to the hall at dawn to deliver the news that she'd been struck with a bad case of…" he paused, squinting his eyes at the chicken scratch letter Kaminari had delivered that morning, "…er, diarrhea."

"But everyone ate at the dining hall yesterday to celebrate the eve of the solstice.” Izuku frowned. “I—I don't understand. How could she be sick? Everybody else is here."

"Yes, yes, indeed, it is quite, erm, peculiar." Toshinori said, scratching at his chin as he proceeded to avoid Izuku's gaze for the next few seconds. "Her chosen guard, Eijirou Kirishima, has also fallen ill."

"Kiri, too?” Izuku balked.”Are you serious? Wait, are they okay?" Toshinori was quick to appease him with a silent nod. "If they’re both ill, then who's retrieving the flowers for the hunt then?"

Toshinori looked at him.

Izuku felt the sweat at the back of his neck drip down his collar.

"I've decided to appoint you as the omega."

Izuku blinked at him.

"I'm sorry… what?"

Toshinori snapped his mouth shut.

"Come again?"

And proceeded to whistle.

"But I can’t be the chosen omega! Toshi, I’m a beta!" Izuku burst out. "You—you—!"

"It doesn’t matter, really!" Toshinori quickly tried to appease him, scurrying about the room as he leaped over the desk, watching Izuku as if he was a hot spring geyser just bubbling under the surface. "Izuku, my boy, being appointed as the chosen omega of the season does not mean that one actually has to be an omega! It’s purely a symbolic thing."

"So why’re they called the chosen omega then? Are you telling me that it’s all a lie and even an alpha can take the role?" He insisted. "Toshi, I’m sorry, but do you know how many omegas would kill for a task like this? I can’t just take this away from them."

"Izuku, my boy, I assure you that no one would fault you for this, and they’d even be grateful for your help. Yes, many omegas may offer to take her place, but I chose you because I am witness to how strong you have become over the years and I know that I, and the village, can depend on you." Toshinori explained patiently. "No one in this village has as much knowledge of the plants as you do, and though the Ashido girl has been training for the better half of the year to summit the mountain, it's too much to ask somebody else to take her place on such short notice. A hundred other omegas may try to climb it, but only you have my full confidence."

"But isn't it still too late?” Izuku asked weakly. “There's no guard, either. Kiri’s down and—"

"Well, I might have already had that covered." Toshinori scratched at his head. "I asked the chief's son, Bakugo, to accompany you."

For the second time that morning, Izuku felt a vein in his head pop.

"You asked who?" He nearly screamed. "Kacchan?"

"My, I thought you were friends!" Toshinori exclaimed, clearly taken aback by his reaction.

'Were' Izuku repeated in his head. How true that was.

Maybe not good friends, but amicable to say the least. Civil, even. Their relationship was rocky at best but it had been steadying to the point Izuku thought they might even be 'long-lasting'.

Right until he did what he did and pretty much eradicated all hope for it.

Toshinori's eyesight might have seen better days, and though it was failing him in his old age, he wasn't blind to the way Izuku's face had fallen. His brows furrowed, sending a worried glance to the beta as the both of them stood there in silence.

"Perhaps I thought wrong?" He said sheepishly. "My dear boy, is there, perhaps, something you may want to confide in me?"

His question broke the beta out of his thoughts, the tips of his ears reddening. He hastily wiped at his face, taking great care to look away. He hadn't noticed when his eyes started stinging.

"Izuku?"

"I'm fine!" Izuku reassured him, shaking his head. "I'm fine. Yes, I'm okay."

The elder was not convinced in the least. He'd taught Izuku all that he knew when he was just a pup and he was one of the people who'd taken him under his wing when everyone else was wary of the beta. Izuku was all the wiser, trying to put on a brave face, but he knew the elder could pick up on just about everything, even the slightest downturn of his lips or a miniscule twitch of his brow.

Toshinori sighed as he placed a steady hand on his chair and proceeded to seat himself. He leaned forward, studying the young beta, before schooling his grim expression. He smiled ruefully. "Don't worry, I can always call on another omega from the schoolhouse. Shinozaki, perhaps. She's quite skilled with vines. It might not be flowers, but it is something we can work with."

A harsh bang! sounded out, the beta’s hands slamming down the elder's desk as he looked at him with a panicked stare.

"No." Izuku said sharply, short of yelling it out. He didn't miss the way the elder leaned back in surprise. The beta coughed behind his hand, cheeks tinged with pink, stepping back and dusting himself off as if nothing happened. "I understand. I'll go."

Izuku might've hated the idea of doing the trek up the mountain with the alpha, but he hated more the idea of him going with someone else.

Toshinori's brows rose so high up his head it almost seemed like they'd disappear beyond his hairline. "Really? Are you sure?"

"Yes, absolutely sure." Izuku insisted. "I've been to that place before off-season. I know where to go. I can even go without a guard."

“Well, while I’m sure you can, unfortunately I can’t allow it," Toshinori sent him a relieved grin. "Your mother might demand my head if she hears about it."

While it was true that he’s hiked up that trail before, he’s never actually been to the field where the flowers bloomed, one that only bloomed on the solstice, and can only be touched by the hands of an omega.

The peak of the mountain where it bloomed was a dangerous place to be on a normal, summer day, but it proved to be fatal when it came to the solstice. A steep, incline and frosted pathway made the journey far too risky to send just any omega uphill, so at the start of every year the elders would either pick someone from the unmated or omegas themselves would volunteer to train for the better half of the year for it.

Izuku knew it must have been a dilemma for the elders to suddenly have to find a replacement on the day, but Toshinori had been training him for years and surely, he already knew Izuku could do it. 

So, this was it. 

Izuku was not only joining the hunt, but he was going to go as the lead omega, as crazy as that was, tasked with retrieving a vital item atop a snowy, perilous trail, the singular thing that could either make or break the entire season.

The biggest season the village has ever seen in the last ten to twenty years.

He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. No use crying over spilled milk, his mother once said.

I can do this. He kept on repeating in his head. It's just Kacchan.

Speaking of Katsuki.

"Does he even know that I'm going to be the one coming?" He asked aloud.

Toshinori was quick to nod. "Yes, of course. I’ve already asked him earlier this morning. I would have rather told you about it together but he insisted on not waiting for you."

Izuku tried his best not to let that get to him. "And… he said he was okay with it? With me?"

Toshinori laughed, completely oblivious to his inner turmoil. "Oh, don't worry, Izuku. While he did tell us to scatter, he didn't decline either. Knowing that boy, his silence means yes. If he didn't want to do it, we all know he's not the type to beat around the bush about it."

Izuku sure didn't like the sound of that.

He used to be able to tell exactly what Katsuki was thinking, even if the alpha wasn't there. Though as they grew his perception of him became muddier, and soon enough the alpha had grown into someone Izuku couldn't decipher no matter how he tried.

He'd even been completely blindsided that last summer.

He wished he could tell what Katsuki really thought, but after the last time they spoke, who knows really.

"Go on then." Toshinori urged him, sending a helpful glance at the door. His smile was warm and hopeful and Izuku really, really, really didn’t want to disappoint him. This was as good a test as any. If he could get through this, then he’d be able to go on the expedition next spring. He just needed to get over this challenge. 

Toshinori pushed him forward with a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Don't keep Katsuki waiting now."

"Didn't I tell you to get a coat?"

Katsuki's voice came out accusatory. Like a reflex, Izuku’s defenses immediately go up to counter it.

"It's not that cold, Kacchan. Summer's barely ended."

"It's already mid-autumn, dipshit." Katsuki clicked his tongue. His cheeks were awfully pink that day and his hands were shaking, though Izuku knew the alpha ran hotter than any furnace, so it couldn’t have been from the cold. "I might... er, well, I might have something for you but I don't know if it still fits—fuck, goddamn it. Just wait here and I’ll—"

"Kacchan, stop!”

Izuku grabbed at the alpha’s wool shirt before he could think about it.

The alpha stepped back, alarmed by his outburst.

Izuku sighed. “Really. I’m fine. Sometimes people just want to feel a little numb, okay? It doesn't have to mean anything. Stop worrying about me." Izuku brushed him off, swatting a well-meaning hand away as he walked past the alpha. "Just because I came from Otheon doesn’t mean I haven’t gotten used to the cold here. It’s been five years. Why do you still treat me like I just got here?"

Izuku knew he’d made his first mistake then, because Katsuki decided to shut his mouth for the remainder of the morning.

The first half of it was silent, just the two of them barely tolerating the other's company. Izuku still didn't know why Katsuki had taken him for a random hike up the mountain, it’s probably been months since they’ve last done spent time together like that, and for the past few months things have been a little… off... between them.

It was a few months before he and Rody reconnected when the latter’s caravan visited Musutafu for the first time. At first Izuku was happy to have met his friend again, but now he’s got a different sort of problem on his plate, and Katsuki being hot and cold to him most days wasn’t helping.

Perhaps the hike really was to cool his head as the other had said he intended, but after a few more minutes of walking Izuku was quite sure it was doing just about anything but that.

"Why'd you leave?"

Izuku turned to the alpha, confusion marring his face as he regarded his question. "Sorry?"

"Otheon. It's a bigger village with more opportunities than you could imagine. Surely with your skills you wouldn't have a hard time setting up a practice there." Katsuki replied. "You were there for ten years. I don’t understand why you came back."

Izuku bit his lip, mulling the question over. "Have you been to Otheon, Kacchan?"

Katsuki shook his head. "I've been to the villages around it. The mountains surrounding the valley are beautiful, though. Much more than the ones we have here."

Izuku nodded, his chest tightening as the memories of his previous life resurfaced. 

Most people left villages like Musutafu to live in more prosperous ones like Otheon. It must have been a shock for the alpha seeing Izuku again for the first time five years ago, when he peered through the window of the shop that Inko had just opened and saw the beta bored out of his mind lounging by the till. 

Izuku was lanky then, frail and unsure of himself. He hadn’t spoken to anyone the first week he’d arrived, mostly keeping to his house and his mother’s apothecary. He was scared, and he had all the reason to be, and even though he knew nobody would hurt him there he couldn’t help but cower when anyone so much as looked in his direction.

Katsuki was the one who’d brought him out of the shop for the first time, stealing the book the beta was reading from his hands after distracting him by tipping over a jar full of herbs from the window sill. The alpha ran out as soon as he had his hands on it, causing the beta to chase after him all throughout the village square, and only stopped when Izuku lunged for him and proceeded to land the both of them straight towards the fountain. 

The week after the alpha took him to a pub, where he introduced him to his friends, and who’d proceeded to make an ass of himself when he challenged Izuku to an impromptu wrestling match and found himself face down on the floor. 

All of them immediately clamored to be in Izuku’s good graces.

The five years he’d spent reconnecting with Katsuki has brought Izuku out of his shell more than the ten years he’d spent in Otheon. It was the best decision his mother could have ever made for them, to return to a place who was at least willing to understand his predicament.

Though, now and then, his thoughts still strayed to Otheon.

Katsuki was right. Musutafu was beautiful on its own, but Otheon was a different world altogether. It  was almost perfect. He had cried most days and nights that he’d lived there, but all of that could be forgiven when he looked out his window and saw the mountain range from afar. It reminded him that there was still good in the world, after all, despite how bad its inhabitants could be.

For all the heartache and heartbreaks he's suffered under that same sun, Izuku still found himself longing for its mountains. When he closed his eyes, it was like he could still see them from a distance—lush pine, evergreen, the smell of dew drying out on the leaves in the springtime.

Yet it's the memory of the arrow lodged sharply beneath the small of his back that always ripped him out of his longing.

"I don't know," Izuku said after a beat. “No matter how hard I tried I just couldn’t call it home.”

He didn’t know if he’d said anything else after that, but Katsuki didn’t ask him any more questions.

The walk to the alpha's cabin was blessedly long.

It afforded Izuku a lot of time to think things through, to panic about them, to talk and try to convince himself that he was blowing things way out of proportion, before shutting down every single thought and proceeding to stress about it again and again.

A vicious cycle.

As he walked, a harsh wind blew in his direction, and he clutched at the ends of his coat. His nose and his cheeks were no doubt as red as cherries at that point, and even his eyelashes were starting to feel heavy from the frost collecting on them. Though he had his gloves and his hat, he lamented not bringing a thicker coat.

Though, he wasn't even supposed to be out there. He wasn't supposed to be out and about on that day at all.

In the distance he could see smoke billowing out from a lone cabin in the middle of the woods. For some reason Katsuki had decided to build his cabin so far out from the main village, it was a trek in and of itself just trying to get there. Before their friendship was severed, Izuku used to love heading out to Katsuki's cabin to hang out with him. Hang out as in, Izuku pestered Katsuki for the majority of the day and Katsuki dug cotton into his ears so he could tune Izuku out.

Simpler times. Better times. Times Izuku would pay tenfold to have again.

It's not hard to find the alpha. A singular grunt rang through the din of the forest followed by a short, sharp thud.

Katsuki was behind the cabin cutting firewood.

"Kacchan," Izuku called out.

Katsuki didn't even stop his ministrations before addressing him. "So, you're here. Surprised you didn't chicken out."

"What?" Izuku had the gall to look affronted at least. "Why would I?"

Katsuki stopped chopping the firewood at that, taking a pause to wipe at his brow before throwing the omega a look. "I was very sure you'd skedaddle after hearing who you were getting saddled up with."

"I'm not that weak." Izuki quipped back. "I don't run away when other people need help."

"Of course you don't. You won't even if it kills you." Katsuki huffed a laugh under his breath, sounding cruel almost, before swinging the axe back and bringing it down against the block. The wood split evenly in two, clean and precise. He straightened and began rounding them up, walking a few meters right where Izuku was to neatly organize them in a pile.

The alpha stopped short of him, frowning as he eyed the beta up and down. Izuku felt naked under his stare, his nape feeling unusually hot. He looked away from the alpha's gaze though that did nothing to quell the residual heat boiling up inside him.

"What's the game plan?"

"You're asking me?"

"Yeah? You're the one that knows about plants." Katsuki said. “Figure’d you’d have something planned in the short walk it took you to get here, so let’s hear it.”

Izuku sighed.

"It takes about three hours and a half for a one-way trek and another hour to gather everything. Well, you already know that, of course.” At Katsuki’s nod, Izuku continued, though he soon regretted the next few words. “You showed me the field before, haven’t you? Last summer when—ah.” He winced as he stopped himself, quickly turning his head away. 

God, why did he even bring that up?

Izuku cleared his throat. “Um, I can bring Mighty to make it faster."

Katsuki clucked his tongue. "Forget the damn sheep."

Izuku threw him a look. "Kacchan, Mighty’s a ram."

"I don't care. It's fluffy and they all look the same anyway." Katsuki waved him off. "Stop fuckin’ looking at me like that. I’m not being unfair. I can't bring my wolves either.” The alpha cleanly bundled the rest of the firewood before throwing it right next to the pile. “Animals are sensitive to the oil those flowers secrete. If they come into contact with it, it’ll send them to—" He gestured wildly, rolling his eyes at Izuku’s increasingly reddening face. “You already get it, don’t you?”

Izuku nodded mutely, to which Katsuki only scoffed. “Whatever. We’re already running late. Come on. Let’s go.”

Izuku balked at him. "What? Like, right now?"

"Yeah, right now, unless you want to keep everyone waiting ‘till the dead of the night." Katsuki threw him a look. "What? You want to say goodbye to your boyfriend first or what?"

"Boyfriend?" This time Izuku shrieked. "Who?"

"What was his name again?” Katsuki asked, but Izuku knew him better than to think he was being honest. “Rudy?"

"Rody, Kacchan." Izuku corrected him. "That's with a soft o."

"Yeah, right." Katsuki scoffed. "A soft o now and a hard o later when he finally gets his hands on you tonight."

Izuku sputtered, only narrowly dodging the firewood that had fallen from his grasp. "Kacchan!"

"What." Katsuki raised his brow. "Seriously? Deku, you've gotta be fuckin' kidding me. The guy proposed to you last summer and you're still acting like a bumbling virgin over it."

"That's because—!" He cut himself off, clenching his fists at his side as he snapped his jaw shut.

"Because what?" Katsuki challenged.

"It's none of your business." He quickly turned on his heel and started briskly walking back to the fence.

"Wait, Deku!"

"What?!"

"Are you seriously going to hike with that?"

Izuku looked down at his clothes, suddenly feeling a bit self-conscious. In the village the cold wasn't so bad with everyone else sharing the heat, but he knew just how brutal the winter could be once they were out there in the forest.

He looked down at his gloves, plush and warm against his hands. His hat and his boots were quite well-made too. It really was just his coat.

Any colder and he might just freeze mid-hike.

Katsuki rolled his eyes and turned, walking his way back into his cabin. He was gone for only a minute before the door opened and slammed shut again, the sound of it echoing through the woods.

The alpha walked to him with a bow in one hand and a heavy duty fur coat in the other. The coat was shiny and sleek and looked well taken care of, so black it almost looked like the void that had wedged itself in Izuku's heart at the sight of it.

And then it fell to the bottom of his stomach when he realized the coat was a few sizes too small for him, in a style that was particularly fashionable for a certain group of people.

What was Katsuki doing with a coat that was clearly meant for an omega?

"I don't want to wear that," he blurted out before he could stop himself. His eyes widened as he realized what he'd just said, but he couldn't even correct it, not when Katsuki's face immediately hardened.

A flash of hurt etched its way across the alpha's face.

"Well, tough luck. You should've fuckin' brought a better coat if wearing what I have disgusts you so damn much," Katsuki snapped at him. He threw the coat at the beta. "Wear it. I'm not going out there and coming back with you dead from frostbite. My own mother's scary enough as is. I'm not adding yours to my nightmare rotation."

Izuku flinched as the coat was unceremoniously thrown at his face. It was so close to him, so warm, that it almost felt like he could smell Katsuki in it. Katsuki’s always been popular with the omegas in the village. Primes were a myth, but if they were real then Katsuki would be everybody’s first pick of what embodied it. His scent was strong, even through Izuku’s beta nose, and when he shyly brought the coat up to his face he swore his mind must have been playing tricks on him for how good it seemed to smell.

Which wasn’t true and which couldn’t be true. God, he was just being weird, wasn’t he?

It almost made him forget that whoever owned the coat had stayed long enough for their belongings to absolutely reek of the alpha.

"Wear it, Izuku."

The beta looked down at it, bunched up in his arms. He'd be a liar if he said he didn't fantasize once or twice about an alpha, a particular alpha, giving him a coat of his own to be warm with, but he'd never imagined his first time to be like this. He didn't know it could hurt this much. He felt silly at the jealousy that swirled in his gut brought on by something that could've easily been his… something he was foolish enough to run away from.

"I can't." Izuku said silently, getting weaker with each syllable that passed from his lips. "It's too small on me."

Katsuki stayed silent this time, regarding the beta carefully as Izuku continued looking down at the coat.

"I don't think the omega who owns it would appreciate someone else wearing their belongings either, Kacchan."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Katsuki barked at him. "Nobody else owns it, dumbass. It's mine."

Izuku frowned, examining the coat again. It was definitely an omega style. Even the smallest alphas would have a hard time fitting into it, not with the way it was sewn.

"But this doesn't look like any of your coats." Izuku paused and frowned at him. "Was this yours when you were a pup?"

"What? Hell no. Does that look like something a goddamn pup would wear?"

Izuku shook his head.

"But still, I really can't," Izuku insisted. "I don't want to wear something that's clearly—"

"It's for you!" Katsuki screamed, pinching the bridge of his nose as he turned away. "I made it for you when we were sixteen, okay? And don't you dare tell me it's small enough because I know you haven't grown a single inch since then so don't lie to me." The alpha huffed, puffs of white billowing out of him with every deep breath. It seemed like it was taking everything in him to calm down.

The tips of Katsuki's ears were tinged pink, the blood rushing to his face painfully clear beneath his pale skin. His eyes were closed, to which Izuku was grateful for, since he was currently staring at the alpha quite foolishly with his mouth wide open in shock.

"I don't know what kind of idiotic thought you have in your head but that coat's yours. Or, well, would’ve been yours. Fuck, it was always meant to be yours, okay? Not some random omega that you’ve somehow conjured in your head." Katsuki finished. "You can take it or leave it. It's no use to me now anyway."

Izuku shuffled awkwardly in place, the snow dragging beneath his boot as he scurried over to the fence to take the coat over his own, thin one.

It was warm, perfect for the trek, and clearly made with great care. Katsuki must have either spent a ton to have it made by one of the village's seamstresses. That, or he spent many hours on it—from skinning the bear to drying it out, treating the fur, and then sewing it.

Either way, this was as good a courting gift as any. Would have been as good a courting gift as any.

If only Izuku had given him the chance.

Sixteen, Izuku remembered him saying. I made it for you when we were sixteen.

It’s been five years since then.

How long has Kacchan loved him?

By the time they reached the summit the sun had already started to set over the west. When Izuku turned to look at the alpha he was bathed in its light, his hair shining like little golden threads held up against the bright sun.

It almost pained him to see him that way. Beautiful, strong, and absolutely unattainable.

“We should’ve gone here a little closer to winter.” Katsuki said, breaking him out of his thoughts. He held his arms together, trying to ward of the cold from the relentless wind blowing at them from all directions. Izuku was starting to regret not getting a coat. “It would've been amazing to see what that looked like in season.”

Izuku tilted his head in question. “What?”

“That.” Katsuki raised a hand and pointed at another mountain just across the valley. “There’s an empty patch of land there. Can you see it? That’s where the Scilla blooms.”

“Oh, that flower,” Izuku nodded, the pit of his stomach turning as he tried to register the odd expression on the alpha’s face. “Yeah, I’ve heard of that. It’s the one the chosen omega gathers on the eve of the winter solstice, right?” He wrought his hands together, his heart beating a millisecond too fast for his brain to catch up. “Do you believe it?”

Katsuki turned to him then. “Believe in what?”

“The idea of finding your mate from a single flower,” Izuku said. “That even the tiniest drop of oil from a single petal is so strong that one could track a mate down from even a thousand kilometers away.”

“Nerd.” Katsuki scoffed, though the slight quirk in his lips told Izuku the alpha had found it a little funny. “Bit of an overstatement there. Well, I don’t know. I guess I can believe it. It worked for my dad, and your mom, and it worked for a thousand other people so I don’t see why not.”

Izuku gnawed at the inside of his cheek. “Really?”

Katsuki turned to him, an amused smile gracing his lips as he said, “Really.”

“Well, that’s surprising.” Izuku shrugged, a teasing lilt in his voice apparent as he said, “I didn’t take you for such a romantic, Kacchan.”

“Oh fuck off!” Katsuki rapped his knuckles against Izuku’s temple. “I can be fuckin’ romantic if I wanted to, dumbass.”

Izuku guffawed, his laughter echoing off across the valley. 

The alpha merely watched him as he wiped a stray tear from his eye. 

“Besides,” Katsuki continued. “Why would I turn to such a thing if all that I needed was right here in front of me?”

The snow didn't bite so hard the moment he had the coat on. It was indeed well made, so much so that even through the freezing and howling winds that greeted them as they made their way up the mountain, Izuku was sweating underneath it.

He looked up ahead, still about a couple miles to go, taking care to note the winding steps that he knew would be the hardest part about the journey. The very reason why every omega that took the hike needed a guard.

The trek was quiet, which was both a blessing and a curse. The beta was grateful to be spared of whatever biting remarks the alpha had in store for him since that disastrous afternoon months ago, but when he was left alone like this, with nothing to busy himself with, his thoughts ran amok.

What was he going to do when they came back to the village? Would he hand the flowers over to be processed and be done with it just like that? Would he go back to his cabin and rot the night away by his lonesome, knowing full well Katsuki would be out there in the woods, waiting for an omega to come and stake their claim over him?

Even though he'd already made up his mind months ago, when it came to it, would he actually let that happen?

"Stop yappering," The alpha said aloud, breaking him out of his thoughts. "I can hear you from all the way here."

He was nearly ten feet away.

"But I didn't even say anything!"

Katsuki paused in his steps and looked back, tapping a finger to his forehead. "You don't need to say anything at all for me to know you're probably worrying over something you ought not to."

"Rude!" Izuku yelled. "Stop listening in then."

Katsuki couldn't get another word in even if he wanted to. They were nearing the steps now. The alpha looked ahead at the path that awaited them, his face grim as he waited for Izuku to catch up. As soon as the beta was within a meter of him he started rummaging through his rucksack and took out a thick corded rope, unwinding it and tying one end of it to his waist before moving to the omega and doing the same.

Even through the thick of his coat and Katsuki's gloves, Izuku felt the alpha's heat sift through it the fabric. Every bone in his body was screaming at him to come closer, to put his bare hand on the alpha's neck, to take the heat from its very source.

He stepped back instead.

Katsuki scowled. "The fuck are you doing now?" He pulled at the rope that connected the two of them, sending Izuku stumbling forward. His hands shot up to brace a fall that wasn't coming, not with the way Katsuki stood in front of him anyway, blocking him from the harsh winds and the path that they still needed to pass through.

His hands landed right on the alpha's pecs. Lord knows how hard he fought against instinct to grip it with force.

"Need your head clear for this," Katsuki's voice dipped lower. His eyelashes are so long, Izuku thought as he stared up at the alpha. "It's going to be a little tricky but it's nothing you nor I haven't done. We'll get past this like we always have."

The alpha wasn't lying. Izuku knew it was one of the main reasons why the both of them were chosen to take over for both Mina and Eijirou. They've done this exact same hike before. Granted, it's been nearly a year since the two of them have made it up the mountain, but Katsuki never said things he didn't mean. Izuku knew he would guide the both of them safely to the top where the prized flowers are, even if the conditions were completely new to him, even if he had to risk his life for it.

When they were much younger, the both of them used to hike up the mountain in the spring time. It was the only time their parents would allow them to and the both of them used every waking moment of those days when the schoolhouse let out early to trek up the mountain and enjoy the view of the valley below.

This would be their first time to summit it during the winter.

He staggered forward as Katsuki began their ascent, carefully maneuvering his way through the slope so Izuku could safely trail after him. With his bow to the right of him and a long pole to his left, he didn't have much room to make unnecessary movement. Every step the alpha made was calculated, neither too fast nor too slow. He made it a point to look back every now and then, his expression becoming more prideful with each turn as he watched the beta skillfully walk behind him.

In order for the trek to between the chosen omega and alpha to work, the both of them needed to be in sync. No wasted breath nor movement, no need for communication. They needed to connect on a level beyond the physical. Izuku and Katsuki have been candidates since the moment they were of age, Toshinori had told them that much, but neither of them had ever taken it up.

At the end of the day, one of them would be mated. Izuku knew it wouldn't be him.

Oh, shit!

He slipped, his breath punched out of him as his front slammed against the ground.

"Izuku!" Katsuki screamed. His gloved hands gripped the pole tighter as urgently looked behind him, "What the fuck! Are you okay?"

"I'm fine!" Izuku said as he got up on shaky legs. He'd let his mind wander too much there and failed to see the rock traitorously wedged in between the snow. "I'm fine, just tripped!"

"Be careful!" Katsuki snapped at him. "Goddamnit, we need to get there fast."

Izuku knew they still had a good quarter of an hour left on their trek, but Katsuki was able to get them there in less time. Their breaths evened out as they finally reached the summit, their destination just a few meters ahead of them.

Katsuki turned to him, worry laced in his voice. "What happened back there?"

"My… my foot slipped." More like his mind did, but Izuku knew that it would just send Katsuki on another tirade if he admitted that, especially when the alpha had warned him to keep his head clear of any nonsense. "It's nothing, really. At least we're here."

"You're bleeding." Oh, was he? "Give me your hand."

Izuku didn't know why Katsuki bothered to ask when he took Izuku's hand merely a second later anyway. He turned it palm side up, mouth twisting downwards as they both looked at the open gash in the cloth, the edges of it already stained red. Removing the glove only confirmed their suspicions.

A nasty, jagged line ran along the length of Izuku's palm, red and wide.

"Wow," he remarked as he stared at his bleeding palm, oddly fascinated with how red it was, at the contrast of its dark against the blinding white that surrounded them. "I didn't even feel it."

"It's nothing to be amazed at, idiot." Katsuki took his own glove off, his warm hand closing in on Izuku's increasingly cold one. The pressure only made the blood run hotter. "It's not serious but it might need stitches. I don't have any medicine with me. Do you?"

Izuku shook his head.

It takes Katsuki another second to respond, carefully weighing their options, before nodding towards the direction of the flower bed. "Those things have healing properties, don't they? You can use one and wrap your wound in it in the meantime."

Izuku immediately protested. "No!"

Katsuki groaned. "What is it now?"

"Kacchan, that's... that's just an old myth."

"Deku, stop being obtuse. You know you're the town's greatest apothecary right after your own mother.”

“And Toshinori.”

“Does it even matter?” Katsuki said exasperatedly. “Fine. And Toshinori! Whatever. That flower heals faster than any alpha's spit, or would you rather have that as an alternative?" Katsuki challenged. At the vehement shake of Izuku's head, Katsuki raised an eyebrow. "Well? What's it going to be? I'm not about to head back down this damn mountain with a bleeding beta."

Izuku pursed his lips. "I thought you said 'dead beta'?"

"Don't be fucking smart with me. They're the same damn thing."

Izuku sighed, taking his hand back and nursing it with the other gloved one. "Kacchan, those flowers are limited. We don't even know how much we can harvest this solstice. This is the biggest season this village has ever seen in years, we can't waste any of it on this."

Katsuki laughed dryly. "Every year someone else always comes up short, nothing new about it. There's always the next season. Besides, even if they already have the numbers we all know I'm one less for the count. You don't have to worry about catering to everybody."

Izuku grit his teeth. "Don't say that."

"I can say whatever I want."

"There could always be another omega out there," Izuku pressed. He doesn't try to think too hard about how that hurt him to say. "There are even omegas from the merchant's caravan that might be participating in—"

"Oh, that's rich, coming from you," Katsuki snarked. "What, feeling confident in handing out advice now that it's working out so well for you?"

Izuku shot him a confused look. "What do you even mean by that?"

"That merchant from Otheon," Katsuki spit out like something rotten. "Rody Soul."

"What?” Izuku shot him a look. “What does Rody even have to do with any of this?"

"He has everything to do with this!" The alpha stepped back, pinching the bridge of his nose again, refusing to look at Izuku. "Isn't he why you rejected me in the first place?"

"I told you already, he isn't!" Izuku explained. "This and that are completely two different things."

"Oh, really? Is that it?" Katsuki mocked. "You mean to tell me that you rejected me for something as inane as my 'legacy' and then the next season someone proposes to you, someone from the same goddamn town as you, and now you're joining the hunt where that same exact someone just happens to be participating in for the first time? You mean to tell me this is all a coincidence?" Katsuki sighed. "Come on, Deku. I'm not five anymore. You can tell me the truth and I won't fault you for it. You don't have to spare my feelings."

“It isn’t because I love him! I don’t!” Izuku fired back. "But I can’t have you, Kacchan, and you know why I can’t. Okay? I just... can’t."

“Then tell me you don’t love me,” Katsuki insisted. “Look me in the eye and tell me that you don’t. You only need to say it, Izuku, just once and I’ll let this all go. I’ll never look at you again. I’ll never find you again. I’ll let go of anything that reminds me of you if you let me.” The alpha heaved, almost crushing Izuku’s palm in his grip. “Tell me you don’t want me.”

Izuku flinched as a cold hand made its way up his face, brushing across his cheek where a scar laid. Katsuki smiled at him, pained. The alpha drew his hand back and it shone under the bright sun, glinting.

When did he start crying?

Katsuki breathed deeply, closing his eyes, seemingly counting to ten. He opened them again, the heat in them diminished.

"So I guess it’s like this again, huh?" He said silently. His voice was deep, defeated. "We’re going to end it again like this?"

Izuku only bit at his cheek.

"Go get the flowers, Deku." Katsuki said after a long silence. "Go get the flowers so we can go home and put this all behind us."

“What do you mean ‘no’?”

“It means what it means, Kacchan.” 

“Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t love me then.”

“Kacchan, you have to understand. This,” he gestured between them, “you, me, it won’t work. It's just, it can’t.”

“And who says that it can’t?” Katsuki scoffed. “It’s that merchant, isn’t it?” 

Izuku’s breath hitched, fear running through every single vein in his body. “How… how do you know about that?”

“Izuku, there isn’t a single person in this goddamn village that doesn’t know about his proposal.” Katsuki spat. “You don’t think anyone thought twice about the fact that he went to the elder’s den right before he asked to talk to you, just the two of you?”

“Kacchan, I—” Izuku clutched at his head. “You have to understand. It’s not just about me or you. It’s the entire future of the village we’re talking about here.”

“Since when were you so goddamned concerned about this damn place—”

“Listen!” Izuku yelled. “Kacchan, you’ll be chief soon. You’ve been working all your life towards it. I know. You’ll be chief soon and you won’t be able to handle it alone. You’ll need a strong, capable omega that can help you lead and when the time comes give you heirs so they can continue on in your family's legacy. Isn’t that your dream? To bring this village to heights greater than your mother has ever seen?”

Katsuki growled, his anger coming out of him in waves. “What do you know about my dream?”

“It’s all you’ve ever cared for, isn’t it?” Izuku laughed, though the tears at the corners of his eyes did little to mask his pain. “I just want what's best for you.”

“Then look me in the eye and tell me you don’t love me.”

Izuku knew he couldn’t.

Because it simply wasn’t the truth.

He didn’t know when he fell in love with Katsuki. But he did. He is. 

Even though he knew he shouldn't.

He did not know when it started—how one went from admiration to infatuation to deep and desiring affection. How every note from every song and every line from every passage all came back to him, reminding him of this singular person. The sky and sun, the forests and its trees, how they all blended and weaved into just one singular being that made up his entire world.

Kacchan.

It was not sin to long for him—the village chief's son. Izuku would just be one out of a thousand pairs of admiring eyes. But Izuku also knew it wasn’t going to be so simple for him. Izuku was a beta and that raised all sorts of complications on its own.

He knew he couldn’t ever accept the alpha’s affections, no matter how selfishly he wanted to.

So he stayed silent.

Stared at the alpha that he loved.

Felt his eyes on him as he walked back to the village, the longest walk he’s ever had in his life, and felt the ghost of his touch as he ran across the meadow as soon as the fence came into view.

Izuku kept running, even as Kacchan called for him to stay.

"You're back early."

His mother was surprised. Izuku had to admit that he was, too.

"How was it?"

"It went well," was all he could really say. He walked towards the fire, his eyes not quite leaving the flames, and droned on. "I dropped the sack at the hall. Toshi wasn’t there but Aizawa received it for him. He looked quite relieved. I think he may have dropped to bed when I left.” He laughed, though there was nothing in his voice that indicated amusement. “They're processing it now, I think. Might take another hour until it's ready to go and then the solstice festivities can begin."

What was he even saying? He couldn't even process it. His mind was so empty yet so full it didn't feel like anything was registering at all.

"I see," his mother replied. "Did you come here to rest before the event?"

Izuku merely looked at Inko then, a thousand thoughts milling about his brain, though he couldn't muster a single one into existence.

The hours that passed between then and now felt like forever and yet at the same time not long enough. Hours felt like minutes and minutes into hours. He couldn't wait to finally be rid of Katsuki's presence, although everything in his body hurt when the alpha left.

What was going on with him? Why can't he just make a decision?

Why was he back here, at his mother's cabin, and not at the hall waiting with all the other hopeful omega and alphas, who were all just itching to dab those oils into their glands and run off into the forest, eager to find their mates?

His mother waited patiently for his response. She stood by him near the table and kissed his cheek, showing him a pitiful smile as she clasped her hands with his. "Do you want to talk about it, love?"

He should say no. He could always do what he's always done and shut her out.

Yet somehow this time he didn't have neither strength nor courage to.

"I feel like I've made a mistake."

Inko nodded before placing a gentle hand on his shoulder and guiding him to one of the chairs by the fireplace. Izuku stared blankly at the fire as it crackled, streaks of orange and red dancing atop the charred wood.

"We've all made mistakes, dear. I've got far too many to count myself." His mother said. "The elders always say to live life with no regrets, but I bet they can't come up with a single man who doesn't have one or two things that they look back on now and then."

Izuku let out a breath, swallowing deeply. “I just…” His voice cracked, his eyes feeling hot as it stung. One blink and he knew that he would break, so he kept looking straight ahead at the fire, knowing it was wishful thinking that if he stared at it enough it'll dry up all the tears threatening to spill from his eyes.

His mother waited patiently beside him, never pushing, never prodding. Though there were many days where she prodded at him and tested his limits, she always knew exactly when he needed those and when it would only make it worse.

This time was no different.

"I think I love Kacchan." The relief that flooded out of him felt unbearable. He tried to steel himself, but failed miserably. His mother was there to catch him. "No, I… I really do love him, mom. I love him so much it hurts. But I hurt him. He laid out his heart for me to take and I rejected him. He's probably out there waiting for someone else now and I'm… I'm too scared to go out and take the chance. What if he's already moved on? What if he doesn't want to see me again?

She ran her fingers through his hair, carding them through thick and sweaty locks. "I believe all things have a reason for happening, Izuku. Maybe the two of you weren't quite ready yet before.” She smiled, holding his gaze long enough for him to feel the weight of it. “There's never a 'right time', sometimes it just comes and you have to take it. It's hard, I know, but the both of you are strong." She kissed his temple, carefully wiping away his tears. "If the two of you are meant for each other then I know you'll find each other. Isn't that what the hunt is for, Izuku? Isn't that why you went all the way up there… so you could figure it out?"

Izuku looked at Inko, sniffling. "Really?"

She chuckled. "Yes, really. Do you know why animals aren’t allowed anywhere near the Scilla? Or why the elders are so adamant on an omega-alphan pair to summit it? Don’t tell me you went all the way up there without even hearing about it?”

“I don’t know,” he paused, scratching at his cheek. “Well, I never thought I’d participate in it so I didn’t bother asking. Kacchan,” his voice died a little, feeling weak as he continued, “he told me it would send animals into heat.”

Inko laughed even louder. “Oh, that’s what he said?”

Color rose on Izuku’s face and he sputtered. “What? Did he lie to me?”

“It’s not that he lied to you, but more like he didn’t tell you the complete truth. The scent the flowers gave off would send animals into heat, but for us it’s a little different. It would make us fall asleep.”

His mother laughed at his puzzled expression.

“But you didn’t fall asleep, did you?”

Izuku shook his head. “We gathered the flowers up and went down.”

“Didn’t get even drowsy, not one bit?”

“Not really.” Izuku insisted. In fact, that jarring experience made sure that he was currently more awake than ever.

“And you still believe you can’t be Katsuki’s mate?”

“How could I be his mate?” Izuku sighed. “I can’t bond. I can’t scent anything. He’s an alpha, he’ll always want that connection. What if I accept his courting and his real omega mate appears? What then?”

“Izuku, there’s a reason why it takes the elders an entire year to decide who gets to summit the mountain.” She placed her hands on top of his and looked at him. “If a pair that wasn’t fated for each other went up, they’d fall asleep, and they’d die by the next morning. A year will go by without a hunt, and two poor souls would have lost their lives for nothing. Only true pairs can go up there. You know what they are, right?”

Izuku closed his eyes. “Mom, there’s no such thing as a true pair.”

“There is,” his mother interrupted. “The fact that the Scilla exists is proof of it.”

“How so?”

“The elders could have had the entire village helping out if they could, there was no reason to have two people endure it especially if it was that dangerous. But it is the way that sacred ground is. There have been numerous summits from a hundred years ago, alpha-alpha, omega-alpha, omega-omega. All of them worked, but still people died, and the elders couldn’t find a pattern.” Inko paused. “Could you name me a pair that hasn’t come down from the mountain and hasn't paired off in the next spring?”

Izuku couldn’t.

Everyone that’s ever gone up the mountain always did.

“The only ones that succeeded were fated pairs. People that share a bond so strongly it transcends even the most basic biological constraints, that it wouldn’t allow the pull of the Scilla to threaten their other half. It’s not an easy task for the elders to determine which of the unmated pairs might be fated, sometimes potential ones are monitored from the moment they are pups to when they present.” 

"So why do they call it the chosen omega and the guard? If other pairings are possible."

Inko shrugged. "It's just the way the world is. Before society started dictating everybody's decisions, there were more unconventional pairings. But as people's perceptions shifted over what was right and was not natural, the alpha and omega pair ended up being the default." Inko scrunched up her nose. "But it really is just symbolic. The first successful pair that summited the mountain and brought back the Scilla was an omega and her alphan partner, so I believe it just stuck."

Izuku took a shaky breath, closing his hand and feeling the sting of his palm echo through it. “Then, Toshi…?”

“He saw right through the both of you.” Inko pointed out. “He’d already had his doubts, and though he didn’t want to push you into it, this was the biggest season we’ve had in a long time and there may have been significant pressure from the other elders to find another chosen pair. He chose the both of you.” Inko adds. “Still, the nerve of that man to put up my only son in a spur of the moment! I only told him to push you in the right direction, but he went and made you go all the way up. He’ll be hearing from me, dear. I’m sure of it.”

Izuku wheezed, laughing in spite of himself. “Please don’t give him a hard time, mom.”

“I can’t promise it.”

Izuku looked down at their clasped hands. The bandage was still there, the blood seeping through the cloth and drying on it. He could feel the press of the soft flowers against his skin as he clenched his fist. He knew it had already healed, but he felt the pain of it anyway.

“Do I really deserve to be loved?” He asked out loud. “Someone like me?”

“Of course, dear.” Inko took him in her arms, safe and comforting. “Always.”

"But I don't know if he'll ever forgive me."

"He didn't stop talking to you the first time, did he?" Inko said. "That boy loves you too much to let you go, even if you tell him to."

Izuku wanted to believe her. He really, really, really wanted to.

What did he have to lose anyway?

"Go out there then," she urged him with a smile. She'd never looked prouder of him than in that moment. "Go to him."

He was out the door before she even said the final word.

Izuku was too late.

The sounding horn had blown while he was still halfway through the village.

All the unmated had already set out on sprints towards the forest, already seeking their mates. All the oils had been used up.There was nothing left except empty bowls, all scraped clean. It was a recond season after all, every unmated omega and alpha were participating.

Toshinori was the first to notice him running, eyes widening as he watched the beta pant his way up the hill, but his expression quickly morphed into pity.

"I'm so sorry, my dear boy. We didn't know you were coming."

Izuku wheezed, not even caring if he didn't have the flower's advantage. He'll tap into his basest instincts if he had to and will ruin himself if only to try.

He's had enough of running away.

This time it was him who chased.

"Did—Did Kacchan—?" He had a hard time speaking, still feeling his heart hammering in his chest. His chest nearly gave out with how hard he wheezed, though he carried on. "Is he there?"

The elder looked back at the forest before them, big and imposing and dark.

"He was here earlier but I didn't notice him go into the forest. He may or may not have."

Izuku takes a deep breath, nodding along, trying to keep himself steady. His head was pounding, his lungs too, but he tried to be strong in front of his mentor. He knew he was doing a piss poor job at it though.

"It's ok, it's fine." He said it out loud, but it wasn't meant for anyone really, mostly for himself. "I'll find him."

Toshinori sent him a gentle smile then. "I'm sure you will, Izuku."

He ran back down the hill, doing his best to tune out all the whispers around him. He looked left and right amongst the crowd but saw neither hide nor hair of Katsuki.

He scratched at his glands, agitating it further. If he was an ordinary alpha or an omega then he might have already started to reek. He probably looked crazy. No use getting shy about it now. If he couldn't find Katsuki then surely Katsuki would find him. He didn't know if it worked, but he had to try either way.

He stopped in his tracks when his nose picked up a scent. 

He ran for it. He didn't know who it was exactly, but it was familiar, and that's all that mattered in that moment. He didn't want to be too hopeful, the disappointment will only hurt more, and though his mind told him not to wander his heart wouldn't listen, not at all. He entered the hall once again, the one he was in just that morning, trying to pinpoint the exact location of that scent.

His body moved before he could think twice, letting himself be carried by instinct, and he’s almost there, just a hairsbreadth away, before—

"Izuku."

A voice called out to him from the corner of the west hall. Izuku turned, already knowing who it was. His heart fell, though he tried his best not to let it show on his face.

"Rody."

The merchant smiled at his acknowledgement, his grin as warm as a rare summer’s day. Above them Rody’s little companion, Pino, circled their heads, chirping a song at their reunion, before flying off to god knows where.

A shy smile etched onto the alpha’s young, kind face as he walked up to the beta, and Izuku couldn't help but widen his eyes at the sight of him.

”I didn’t think I’d see you here,” Izuku said before Rody could get a word in.

“Neither did I. I nearly thought I was too late,” Rody replied. He held his hand out and looked around, noting that they were alone. “But here we are.”

Rody stepped forward until he was within Izuku’s periphery, watching with a careful eye as the beta dipped his chin and closed his eyes in greeting.

Izuku felt the heat of the merchant’s warm hand over his forehead before he registered his touch, a solid yet gentle palm passing over the top of his head, slipping down until it caresses the slope of his nape. It’s a standard greeting from the village they used to share, an old tradition for when two people of opposing dynamics met, generally frowned upon in the other, more progressive villages. It’s one that they’ve somehow still practiced though, something they’ve carried over from Otheon, at least just between the two of them.

The first time Katsuki saw them do it, he bared his teeth at the other alpha and yanked Izuku away. At the time Izuku didn’t understand why he was so angry, but now he knew.

It was complete and total submission. It must have stung for Katsuki to see his own mate submit to someone else like that.

It seems that even though five years have passed since then and now, it was still quite hard for him to break habits.

Well.

”You can raise your head.” Rody said as he stepped back, his face tense, always was when they met like this, but it quickly morphed into a smile as they shook away their nerves. With every second that passed the barrier between them slowly broke, and Izuku slumped slightly from where he stood, throwing Rody a smile of his own as they pressed each other tightly into a hug.

“It’s nice to see you again, Izuku.” Rody whispered into his ear. “I missed you.”

“I missed you, too.” It was easy for him to say because it was true. “Was it difficult making the trip?”

”Not quite, we left just before the first snowfall hit. We were lucky, though. The caravan that arrived after us is still stuck by the border the last I heard of them.”

Izuku winced. “Well, I’m glad you’re here. Means you’ll be seeing the little ones soon.”

Rody rolled his eyes. “Honestly, I can't say I’m looking forward to it much. God, I think I need a longer break. At least from them.”

Izuku laughed as they linked their arms and fell into step with each other. They didn’t exactly know where they were headed, and the earlier trail he’d been following was quickly drowned out by Rody’s presence. They walked about the hallway, engaging in small talk, until Izuku noticed a few people from the corner of his eye intently watching them.

He definitely recognized some of them, because they’re the ones that love to mill around open spaces and talk, and oh are they talking now. 

Hushed whispers, wide-eyed glances, subtle jabs and grins—Izuku could see it all. His skin prickled, hot underneath his warm coat, and Rody was quick to sense his discomfort. A steady hand quickly found itself on his waist, and Izuku let himself be led deeper from the west hall, away from prying eyes.

The cold bit at his cheek the moment Rody opened the door and gestured for him to go ahead, but it’s nothing he’s not used to, in fact, he welcomes it even. The numbness that settled deep into his skin quickly pushes out the ugly thoughts swirling in his head. It’s torment all the same, but just in another, more familiar shape.

They walked further into the woods, the snow crunching under the heavy weight of their boots.

After a long stretch of silence, Izuku asked: "How are they?"

Rody chuckled. "I don’t know why you even bother asking when you already know the answer.”

Izuku found himself smiling along. "Come on, just answer the question."

"They’re just as small and as much a pain in the ass as you left them." Rody grinned back at him. "You’d think that leaving them on their own would make them grow up, but it’s no surprise just how strong that stubborn Soul blood makes them out to be. I should know. I’m the exact same." Rody bit his lip, settling back onto the trunk of a tree, and looked at Izuku, though his gaze slightly wandered. "They miss you, you know, back home. They keep asking me when you're coming to visit. I never quite know what to tell them."

Izuku hummed as he pressed his back onto the tree as well, right next to the alpha.

"And how is," he paused, feeling a lump in his throat at the thought of uttering a word he's promised himself he'd never say again. "Otheon?"

A heavy silence fell between them.

"It's seen better days." Rody shrugged. "Lots have left, like you have, but nobody blames them. Everyone knows they’re better off anywhere than there, anyway. It's more of a shell of what it once was, really, but that's what happens when you’re so stuck in the old ways that basic rights become a privilege."

Izuku scoffed, knowing all about it.

"I'm glad you seem to be doing well here, though." Rody broke him out his thoughts. "I heard you're trying to take over for your mother with the practice, made a name for yourself and all. You learn from Toshinori?"

"I try," Izuku smiled, a faint color of red dusting his cheeks. "He's taught me well. He's a fine hunter, but he's an even better apothecary. I wish more people knew that. I definitely wouldn’t have, if I hadn’t come here."

"So I've heard." Rody hummed. "You've been busy then? Since the last time I’ve been here?" The alpha pushed off from the tree, turning until he was standing right in front of the beta. “I tried to come back sooner, Izuku. I didn’t want you to forget me already, but I—” Rody looked up, breathing deeply as he looked at Izuku’s eyes again. “Have you thought about what I said?”

Izuku smiled wryly, mostly to himself, but the crumple in Rody’s face let him know he wasn’t being as subtle. He shrugged. "I have," Izuku confessed. “I’ve thought a lot about it.”

"Is that so?" There was a hopeful lilt in his voice that broke Izuku’s heart even more. “I got a little scared, to be honest. You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met, and I didn’t know how much longer it’d be before somebody else thought the same way and stole you from me.”

“God,” Izuku grumbled, his ears feeling hot. His voice was muffled by the scarf around his neck. “Really, Rody? I'd beg to differ.”

"I’ve got two working pairs of eyes, Izuku." Rody bumps his fist into Izuku’s arm. “I may be a merchant but you know I’d never lie, not when it comes to you.”

Fire burns right through him at Rody’s words. He ducked his head deeper into the collar of his coat.

Rody guffaws, his laughter echoing and threatening to shake the snow off the leaves. It's on that laugh, when the merchant bends back and lets his amusement out, that Izuku sees the sheen of oil on his neck.

“Is that—?”

”Yeah,” Rody replies with a sheepish grin, a hand quickly reaching for his nape before nervously brushing against it. “The chief said we outsiders could participate this season. I mean, not that they haven’t offered previously but I’ve never really found the reason to, not until… well. I know that the oil only works for alphas and omegas and I didn't even know if you were participating this year. I don't even know how it works with betas, they surely told me that it didn't but… I had to try.”

Rody’s words trailed off as he ducked his head and kicked the snow at his feet. He glanced up at Izuku again, who was still staring mutely at him, and got a surge of confidence in his step as he inched forward, just a few breaths away from the beta. He took Izuku’s hand and laid it against his own. “I figured this season was the right time for me to try,” he said as he brushed a shy hand against Izuku’s arm, “and seeing you here, right in front of me, tells me I’ve done right by my decision.”

Izuku swallowed deeply, the glands that he’d been scratching all evening trying to find Katsuki feeling awfully painful. Rody was standing right before him, having found him even though he was a way ahead of the main area, and the fact that he had found him meant only one thing.

He was Rody’s mate, the one promised to him by the gods, their strings woven by fate thousands of years ago. He was Rody's mate, but Rody wasn't his.

Izuku felt his heart break into a million little pieces right then and there.

Not for himself, no, not him, but for the earnest alpha who’d been nothing but kind and loving to someone as broken as him.

It's funny, isn't it? The way the world worked. All this time Izuku thought he might have to die alone, and now he's found out that he's always had the choice between two.

Rody’s face fell as he registered Izuku’s silence, at the way his expression didn't budge, though his eyes already said everything that needed to be said.

”I see,” he smiled ruefully, his hand feeling awfully cold. “So, that’s your answer.”

”Rody,” Izuku began to say in a panicked voice, “I’m so sorry, you know how much I—”

“No, Izuku, I,” Rody paused, shaking his head. “It’s him, isn’t it?” he asked, huffing a laugh in defeat, “The hunter.”

Izuku already knew exactly who he meant, but he still uttered: ”Kacchan?”

”Bakugou Katsuki,” Rody confirmed, nodding his head solemnly. “He’s a good man, that alpha. You’ve done right in choosing someone as reliable as him.” He laughed, a series of huffs that sounds like it’s taking every breath in him to find humor in a situation as dire as the one they’ve found themselves in. "I should’ve known. You’re both the famed Toshinori’s successors after all, two sides of the same coin, the hunter and the healer."

It took every bit in Izuku’s body to stay in place. He couldn’t help his hands from shaking though, not when Rody looked so heartbroken. "Save to win and win to save, right? Like Toshinori always said." Rody continued. "You were destined for each other."

Izuku sighed. ”Rody, I—"

“So why isn't he here with you?” Rody asked. "Or are you too afraid to tell him how you feel?"

Izuku blinked. “I don’t understand—”

“Are you afraid that by aligning himself with you, those same people that tried to kill you will hurt him, too?” Rody hung his head low. “Because if so, then you don't need to worry at all. You’ve suffered enough. It may have taken me awhile to do it, but I’ve finally finished what I’ve started.”

Izuku’s eyes widened at his words.

“I’ve been looking for them and bringing them to justice. The group that tried to kill you. You still remember them, don’t you?”

It was impossible for Izuku to forget.

Not when he dreamt about that day every other night.

A lot of people back in Otheon didn’t like him, so they never went to his mother’s apothecary. The only customers they had were the people who’d tried everything from all the other clinics and had been turned away. He tried to help each and every single one that came his way, no matter how many time he’d been told that it was all futile.

He'd been scavenging for weeks trying to find a remedy for a girl who was dying of an incurable disease, an expedition that had cost him nights of sleepless rest. Just when he'd finally stumbled upon a patch of root that could have been the key to perfecting the medicine, a stay arrow shot out from the darkness of the woods, seemingly out of thin air, and landed squarely on the left side of his waist.

He remembered being so surprised by the hit that the pain of it didn't even register, not until a few seconds later, and by that time multiple alphas had emerged from the wilderness. They'd been tracking him down for weeks, he soon found out, to end him.

Another arrow shot out, hitting him square in the chest, and that one hurt. A lot.

They stared at him as they surrounded his fallen body, their eyes full of hatred, and Izuku's brimmed with tears wondering what it was that he did that made them hate him so.

"Your kind doesn't deserve to live." He remembered one of them saying. "You really think any alpha would dare be together with someone as broken as you? That's just pity. The world will be better off without unnatural filth like you."

The cowards, as his mother had always described them, didn't even bother dealing with the final blow. Doing so would have eaten away at them, to have killed someone directly by their hand, and so they left him there to bleed out and freeze beneath the blizzard.

He lived because of a miracle, because for some reason Rody had been there at the right moment. 

Rody, who had been nothing but kind, and who had saved his life, and Izuku who had done nothing but hurt him. He left them without saying goodbye, and hadn't told him his whereabouts. He didn’t want those alphas to know it was Rody who had saved him, he didn’t want him to get hurt, too.

But there he was, hurting him all the same.

“They won’t come for you, not here, not for Bakugo, not for anyone you love or care for. I’ve turned them in, challenged them, and made sure they’ve been stripped off all they’re worth. They won’t have the resources or energy to pursue you even if they tried. Even if they did, I wouldn’t let them.”

”Rody, I… I don’t know what to say.” Izuku said. “I don’t know how to repay you.”

Rody smiled, as kind as ever. “I’m not saying this to sway your decision. I’m not your mate, not your alpha, and even if it hurts me so much that I’d rather die, I wouldn’t ever want you to stay with me just because you feel like you owe me your life.” Rody’s face twisted. “You love him, don’t you? He loves you, too. I could tell from that very first day we met that he’s loved you far longer than I have.”

“Yes.” Izuku’s voice was soft but sure. “I really, really do.”

“But you’re afraid of hurting him, are you?” Rody smiled at him. “And you’re afraid of hurting me, too. Well, you know I love you, Izuku. In fact, I think you’ve always known all along, but I feel like that kind of knowledge didn't come easy to you. The more I see you, the higher your walls become. I don't want to think of it as you closing yourself off to me or him. I think you're just scared of hurting other people the way you've been hurt before.”

Izuku sobbed. “You’re one of my dearest friends.”

“And that will never change for as long as we live.” Rody’s voice was strained. ”Fate is cruel like that, sometimes,” he said as he laughed wryly. “They dangle the greatest thing you could ever wish for in your life in front of you, holding them just near enough that your fingertips can brush it, making you believe that if you work hard enough it could be yours someday. And, just when you think you can finally take it, when you’ve earned every right to have it, they yank them away," he snapped his fingers and the sound of it echoes through the dead forest, "just like that.”

Izuku hated the fact that he couldn't say anything after that.

"You’ve always done your best to have a heart big enough to shoulder both our pains," Rody continued. "But I think it’s about time you’ve found yourself someone to share it with instead, to help you carry its weight." Rody huffed, hugging himself as he turned away. "The little ones will be fine. You’ll meet each other again eventually. If coming back to Otheon is too painful for you, and trust me, nobody blames you if you decide to never step foot in that place again, then I’ll take them here."

“Will I see you again?” Izuku asked weakly. “Or is this… the last time?”

“You’ll see me again, don’t worry.” Rody flashed him a boxy grin that wavered slightly. The sheen on his nape had dried already, looking like there wasn’t anything there at all. “I just need some time and space, but you remember what I said right? You keep that in your heart.”

You need only to call for me and I will find you, wherever it may be.

He didn't know how he got there, but instinct sure led him right where he needed to be.

Katsuki was in the middle of a clearing, sitting by the foot of a dead tree. Izuku didn't even want to think about how long he'd been out there. They immediately separated the moment they entered the village and it's been hours since then.

He could have been sitting there, surrounded by snow and frost and silence, for god knows how long.

There was a fire burning in the distance, more of a safety precaution for the participants than anything, but the glow of it only accentuated the deep set of Katsuki's eyes as he looked up at him. 

Izuku was quick to note that there was no oil on his glands either.

"What are you doing here?"

Katsuki's voice felt like an icicle stabbed right into his heart. It sounded defeated, hollow.

"To find you," Izuku answered.

For years he'd been wondering how it would feel to finally come to this point, to let instinct take over for him, to meet Katsuki face to face in this exact scenario. He thought it'd take a lot more from him. Yet somehow, it all felt easy at that moment.

Like he was finally coming to terms with it all.

A freedom he had been depriving himself for years and years.

Katsuki looked at him silently, almost weary, scared, even. For an alpha that was aiming to be the future chief, and currently the lead pack hunter, he looked just like how Izuku remembered him back then when he peeked through the window of his mother’s apothecary.

Young and lost and hoping.

Izuku steeled himself, taking huge lungfuls of air as he gathered all his courage. He removed his gloves, taking a swipe at his glands. There was no oil to be seen, no remnant of the power they so painstakingly trekked up a mountain for. He couldn’t produce his own, either.

Katsuki’s eyes widened upon seeing his neck, surely scratched up to the high heavens. It stung, and it embarrassed him to let the alpha see it, but he wanted him to know.

Look at how far I’ve come to find you.

He held his palm out, cold and shaking, urging Katsuki to take it.

"Kacchan, maybe I won't ever know what it is that you see in me, but even instinct has told me I can't run away from it. It shouldn't have been possible, I should have gotten lost in this forest without the help of the flower, but I trusted my instincts and it led me to you." Izuku laughed wetly, his hands still shaking between them. "I may not have believed in fate, may have tried to run away from it, but I sure do now."

Katsuki stood, taking Izuku's hand, though his eyes never strayed from his face. Katsuki only looked at him patiently as he continued.

"I thought I knew what was best for you. I thought that by ensuring you had a long, happy, healthy life with an omega, with someone that wasn’t a defect, your future was set. What I wanted for you was a future you could be proud of, with an omega that could support you and stand by your side without being ridiculed. In some sort of twisted way it was the only scenario I could think of to pay you back for the life that you gave back to me.” Izuku released a shaky breath, feeling weak the more that he spoke. “I was so blinded by that vision that I refused to acknowledge my own feelings, nor yours." He sobbed. "At the end of the day I'm just someone who's so riddled by his own insecurities I couldn't even see what it was that was in front of me before I lost it."

The pain of it all came to him in waves, pouring out of him in drops of tears and heaves.

He cried even harder when he felt arms wrap around him, his cold, ungloved hand wrapped around warm ones.

“I was such an asshole to you,” Katsuki says as he grits his teeth in disgust, “I kept… I kept pushing even though I knew you were hurting. I don’t deserve this.” His jaw, and the grip that he had on Izuku, tightened. “I was fine with letting you live your life, but then fuckin’ bird brain came by and—”

“Kacchan, please!” Izuku chastised him. 

“What?”

“Bird brain? Seriously?”

“Just take it.” Katsuki grumbled. “It’s not the worst I’ve given to anyone.”

Izuku sighed. “You were saying?”

“Well, he just had to appear and wreck all my plans. Flashed his charming smile and swept you right off your feet, and you expected me to take it as it was and play nice with him.” Katsuki rolled his eyes. “He was so fucking smitten with you and, well, who could fault him for it? I knew you didn’t regard him as anything but a friend but then that summer came and he took you away for a day and when you came back I felt like I’d lost you.” Katsuki cleared his throat, burying his head by the side of Izuku’s throat as he spoke. “I’ve never felt more scared than I had in that moment.”

The alpha’s shoulders were tense against his arm, his hold on Izuku tight, like he was afraid the other would disappear at any moment. Izuku didn’t blame him for it, he’s definitely given him enough reason to be afraid.

“I’ve always thought that the one-sided bond I shared with you was enough, that it was strong enough to keep you tethered at my side. But then he showed up and I realized that even that wasn’t enough to make you stay.” Katsuki held him even tighter. “But no matter what I tried you kept pushing me away.”

“And yet, you never gave up on me, did you?” Izuku sniffled. “You knew I was your mate, but you never told me.”

“I didn’t want you to make a decision you couldn’t fully understand," Katsuki said. "I’ve always thought of you. When I heard from my mother that you came back I ran to the apothecary, wondering if it was really you, and when I saw you through that window I knew you were the one I’ve been waiting for all this time.” Katsuki huffed in disbelief. “I thought it was fate, and it definitely felt like it to me, but then you told me you were a beta, and that you didn’t have a mate, and it got a lot more complicated."

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” Izuku pried. “You knew that I liked you, loved you even. You could’ve just told me about the Scilla.” He gasped. “That day on the mountain, and the coat, you were trying to tell me something that day, didn’t you?”

“I didn’t want you to get swept up in my shit.” Katsuki said. “I didn’t want to be more of an asshole than I already was.”

"But that's just how you are, right?" Izuku said. "Why try changing it up?"

Katsuki huffed a laugh, reaching up to pinch Izuku's red cheek. "I'm trying to make you feel better, dumbass. Don't turn that shit around."

"Kacchan, I—I—" he floundered, suddenly at a loss as to what to say, which was stupid because he did know what he wanted—no, needed—to say. He'd told his mother just an hour ago. Why was it so difficult now?

Katsuki, bless his heart, was ever so patient. He regarded the beta with an amused smile as Izuku took his hands from that warmth (he regretted it in a second) and ran his fingers through his face, hoping to smear away the blood that was surely rushing to his face. "Kacchan, I—"

He didn't get to finish.

Katsuki did what needed to be said.

Despite the cold that seeped through their clothes, there was a raging fire that burned between them. Izuku felt that if it got any hotter, he'd sink right through a puddle.

Katsuki's lips were soft, uncharacteristically so for someone so rough as him, yet his touch was gentle against Izuku's skin. Never had he felt true silence, neither pain nor chaos lingered in his brain, just the utter feeling of content, of finally having found a home in the one place he'd always thought was temporary.

"Do you feel it?"

Izuku laughed, before placing another kiss on his alpha's lips.

“I always have,” Izuku said. “But I’m more sure now. More than ever."