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Shane @ShaneH24 • 15 sept 13:41pm
Dear twitter, i am looking for a guy that fucked me super duper well on the 14th september around 1am. He had golden curly hair and his ass was huge and he was hot. Also 6ft.
Please and thanks,
The guy who needs to be railed again.
3,312 comments 881K likes
Hayden @hahayden • 15 sept 14:12pm
SHANE??? Digital footprint.
Ji @jijijeejies • 15 sept 14:17pm
This being this guy's first tweet is very very funny.
Yuki @YukiTsunoda • 15 sept 14:33pm
I too would like to find this man. If I find him, can I have him?? For like a night. A night is all I need.
Shane @ShaneH24 15 sept 15:04pm
No. you direct him to me. His face is too pretty to not be in between my thighs.
Lino @linosauraus • 16 sept 00:35am
This will be part of a love story, and I would like to be invited to the wedding. When the time comes.
Hadrian @HadeGuant • 16 sept 00:37am
Was he really that hot?
Shane @ShaneH24 • 16 sept 00:57am
Yes. he can info dump so deep inside me I'll have trivia running down my leg.
Shane @ShaneH24 • 18 sept 23:41pm
My tummy hurts, but i'm being so brave about it
Max @verstappen1fan • 19 sept 00:01am
Off topic but How’s it going? Found him??
Shane @ShaneH24 • 19 sept 00:24am
No? Now all I do is jerk off to the mere memory of his finger tips against my skin. He left his hoodie behind. I sniff it like a freak.
Max @verstappen1fan • 19 sept 00:31am
that is…
Shane @ShaneH24 • 19 sept 00:33am
normal? yes. I am normal.
Max @verstappen1fan • 19 sept 00:35am
you’re a freak.
Shane @ShaneH24 • 19 sept 00:38am
freak of nature😝 I need him so bad.
Max @verstappen1fan • 19 sept 00:46am
you’re the worst. But is your stomach better?
Shane @ShaneH24 • 19 sept 00:53am
No :( Is this omega rejection? I feel it. I need him. I’m calling for him. We need to mate.
Hayden @hahayden • 19 sept 7:14am
what the fuck??? SHANE? who are you
Shane @ShaneH24 • 19 sept 8:20am
sorry I’m yearning so hard.
Ilya @IlyaRozanov • 16 sept 10:40pm
Slept with my soulmate the other night and when he was stripping he took the time to fold his clothes. Whoever you are. Please stay weird. I'm mesmerised by it.
Troy @Bennettboi • 17 sept 8:44am
SOULMATE??
Ilya @IlyaRozanov • 17 sept 8:59am
Yes.
Ilya @IlyaRozanov • 19 sept 14:15pm
Watching ratatouille. is is not special, i can also grab a man by his hair and control him
Ilya @IlyaRozanov • 19 sept 14:29pm
FUCK. I need to find him again.
Troy @benettboi • 19 sept 16:20pm
Him??
Ilya @IlyaRozanov • 19 sept 10:25pm
Soulmate.
SHANE @ShaneH24 • 25 September
Still yet to find the man. So, in defeat, I tried another. Men be like ‘im different ‘then be a different type of disappointment. I need to find him.
Shane @ShaneH24
Should I make a Grindr or something? It’s not a joke. I need him. I must find.
mog @mfffpreg
How would that even find him?
Shane @ShaneH24
You’re right he doesn’t need a Grindr to get some. Maybe I should buy an ad?
Hayden @hahayden
please PLEASE DO NOT buy an ad.
Shane @ShaneH24
But it could be so pretty. I could rent a big billboard.
Hayden @hahayden
Shane, I love you. BUT. absolutely not. Too far. He’s probably run away even IF he saw it
Shane @ShaneH24
you’re right actually. I’m not putting my face up there. And the only other thing he would recognise would be my hole. I could put that on a billboard but... kidding ha.😄 what if i put my first tweet up?
Hayden @hahayden
Do not put your… that anywhere. WTF SHANE
Felix @yongbok
put your hole on main Shane.
It even fucking rhymes. It is fate.
luffi @luffi
do not put your hole on main
kiki @kikiargh
oomf I had to read this five times. I have never read a sentence quite like this. What the fuck even is this thread.
Shane @ShaneH24
Do I put my hole on main
Poll: YES:50%
NO:50%
28,224 votes.
Shane @ShaneH24
I will not.
Hayden @hahayden
Shane, please call me.
Shane @ShaneH24
sorry for being such a whore last night, it will happen again
h @henryFm
never stop
Hayden @hahayden
Please stop. Never again.
-
Alex @alexanjro • 29 September
some of y’all need to touch grass. Like desperately.
Shane @ShaneH24
Most people don’t touch grass anyway. We wear shoes.
J J @jjswagger
Shane, honey, no. It’s a saying.
Shane @ShaneH24
oh okay. Well in that case touching grass is not enough i need to be absolutely fucking railed
J J @jjswagger
This is not the way I thought this conversation would go, but I like this angle wtf😭😭
Shane @ShaneH24 • 2 Oct
"it's all in your head" correct! unfortunately I am also in there
Bob @bobby33
You have problems
Shane @ShaneH24
*jumps over my problems* parkour
Peter @Pparker
It’s true. It’s real. ShaneH24 is my new favourite twitter account.
Hayden @hahayden
Your brain really up there just for decoration huh
Shane @ShaneH24
This is why you're my best friend. This is funny. I will be writing this one down in my notes.
Shane @ShaneH24 • 7th Oct
and tonight I'll ache with undefined longing
Hayden @hahayden
do you ever think before you post??
Shane @ShaneH24
Yes, I think teehee :>
-
Ivo @IvoMusic • 11 Oct
I am very invested in Shane as a person. I hope he meets someone who matches his freak. I hope he finds his one night stand.
Felix @yongbok
He’s so funny I don’t even think he realises.
Ick kenn liebe nicht @idklove
I feel like everyone’s taking what he tweets as a joke but I think he’s being very literal and serious.
Hayden @hahayden
You're right. unfortunately. Shane is being 100% serious.
Jim @JamesMarryiot • 15 Oct
someone find @ShaneH24 one night stand please. PLEASE
ARTHUR @artyarth
it would be very funny
Seung @seungminthebuilding
What do we know about the guy? He’s tall hot, blond, curly and???
bren für dich @fireball
we need more info😭 @ShaneH24 where do you’ll meet up?
Shane @ShaneH24
In Ottawa!
bren für dich @fireball
Anything else we should know?
Shane @ShaneH24
HAWT!!
bren für dich @fireball
🤦
Seung @seungminthebuilding • 16 Oct
Hey, @ShaneH24 What was his name.
SHANE @ShaneH24
Oh um rozanov, why
Seung @seungminthebuilding
Bro, why didnt you say this from the start
SHANE @ShaneH24
Forgot to mention. Moaned it so much, it trespassed into goddam enlightenment.
Seung @seungminthebuilding
I found him
SHANE @ShaneH24
Huh that was easy then huh.
Seung @seungminthebuilding
Bye. gonna go get him.
Seung @seungminthebuilding
Here, @IlyaRozanov
Ilya @IlyaRozanov • 17 Oct 9:19pm
Hey. Hollander.
Shane @ShaneH24 • 9:21pm
Not now baby, he is identifying 5 things he can see, 4 things he can touch, 3 things he can hear, 2 things he can smell, and 1 thing he can taste.
Shane @ShaneH24 • 01:34am
heyyy🫦
Shane @ShaneH24 • 1:36am
Ilya. nice. Ilya Ilya Ilya.
Ilya @IlyaRozanov
Shane.
Shane @ShaneH24 • 25 Oct
stalked one night stand and he called me his soulmate. never let anyone tell you that yearning doesn't manifest cus this shit works.
Oscar @Oscarbobb52 • 30 oct
I really thought Shane finding his guy would mean the end of his unhinged tweets. I am so glad I was wrong.
Shane @ShaneH24 • 4 Nov
Baby did you feel that? That was me bouncing on it telepathically.
Ilya @ilyaRozanov
No need to do it telepathically. I am coming.
Shane @ShaneH24
You will be 😉
Ilya @ilyaRozanov • 16 Nov
Oh my god id fuck the shit out of him with his cute glasses on
Shane @ShaneH24
Why does this sound like a wish when it could be reality.
Ilya @ilyaRozanov
Soulmate. i am coming over.
Hayden @hahayden
I am going to have to block you both.
Han @jijijeekies
This is the only reason i open this app anymore. Thirsting. shane and ilya.
Shane @ShaneH24 • 22 Nov
He called me a good boy and it twitched.
Ilya @ilyaRozanov
fuck
Ilya @ilyaRozanov • 4 Dec
I just offered Shane the world so idk where the rest of you gonna live but it can't be here.
Hayden @hahayden
I hate both of you so much
Oscar @Oscarbobb52
I will die for this love story.
Felix @yongbok
I will transcend to another land.
Ilya @IlyaRozanov • 15 Dec
He’s so beautiful I NEED to get on his nerves.
Shane @ShaneH24
Is that why you called boring? Were we flirting??
Ilya @ilyaRozanov
[reaction picture: combusting with affection]
Ilya @IlyaRozanov
Update: Shane is trying to flirt with me using the ‚getting on my nerves technique‘. He called me an asshole.
Shane @ShaneH24
the human body has 90,000 miles of nerves so if you think about it me getting on your last one is quite the accomplishment
Ilya @IlyaRozanov
Shane, my dear, you did not get on my nerves. You make me want to combust in affection.
Ilya @IlyaRozanov • 18 Dec
He has freckles. I am going to die, he is SO pretty
Shane @ShaneH24 • 13:04pm
🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕
Shane @ShaneH24 15:47pm
sorry. i got flustered and freaked out. what i meant was thank you, you also look very beautiful.
h @henryFm
I am going to vomit and die and suffocate. this is disgustingly domestic I’m actually going to combust.
Shane @ShaneH24 • 20 Dec
Sitting on his lap would probably fix me
Shane @ShaneH24
@IlyaRozanov come here, I am in need of assistance!
Shane @ShaneH24 • 23 Dec
ugh i'm so mad i'm going to go home and touch my mans tits so i won't be mad
Hayden @hahayden
@ilyaRozanoc Can you come collect your freak of a man please. he's doing things
Ilya @IlyaRozanov
no i set him loose on purpose. he needs enrichment
Shane @ShaneH24 • 25 Dec
Gay santa be like sleigh
jiji @jijijeekies
unironically (in a normal way) i am infatuated by you.
Ilya @IlyaRozanov
(in not normal way but sexy effectionate way) i am obsessed with you.
Shane @ShaneH24
you have captivated me too.
Shane @ShaneH24 • 26 Dec
just got diagnosed as your boyfriend. Yeah no they said it's terminal we have to stay together forever until i die
Ilya @IlyaRozanov
What happens when we become husbands then.
Shane @ShaneH24
mffgh
Shane @ShaneH24 • 3 Jan
Find someone that will stand between your legs while you sit on the kitchen counter
Shane @ShaneH24
Oh wait. I did.
Lino @linosauraus
i told yall this would be a love story!
Shane @ShaneH24 • 19 Feb
sorry for being such a freak to you since the moment we met. i just like you a lot
Ilya @IlyaRozanov
you're so fucking strange will you marry me