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Every neurodivergent person has those days where they wake up and they cannot pinpoint what exactly is wrong, but their brain feels the need to give them absolutely no dopamine. Nothing is on their mind. Nothing is exactly wrong, except their brain has decided that everything is wrong, but won't tell them what. Days like that make it easy for everything to go wrong. One misplaced word, one slip up, one wrong move. The day is done. The person becomes incapable of doing anything but dwelling in the very recesses of their mind, replaying over and over again the mistakes of their past—their regrets.
For Goro Akechi, those regrets piled up over years. While a lot of what he'd done was in pursuit of a lofty goal, they were regrets nevertheless. He'd like to tell people that he didn't regret them. In order to make an omelette, you have to break some eggs. Ren Amamiya knew all the things that the brunette liked to hold back. That these eggs that he broke to make his omelette, they were things he regretted to his core.
It was exactly a year since the Phantom Thieves (and Akechi) took down Maruki, February 3rd. It wasn't an easy day for Ren. He remembered strongly the emotions he felt when the world went back to normal. He was sitting in a jail cell, thinking about the fact that the brunette was dead, and had been since November. It was a hard time for him, and he hadn't been sure how to move forward—not to mention, he had no idea how long he was going to be in prison. He just hoped not long.
The day before was the day that Akechi and Ren had declared an anniversary of sorts. While it wasn't exactly a stellar day either, it was also the first time that they admitted their feelings for each other a year ago. If anyone asked what the anniversary was for, neither would really have an answer. It wasn't for when they started dating, and it wasn't for the day they met. They'd just smile knowingly in response. That was for them only. No one needed to know the reason for it.
Their morning started out normally. Ren woke up with Morgana sleeping in a ball in his side. Akechi woke up and stared at the ceiling. Both thinking of each other, but neither moving. Moving from the stack of crates, Ren got this sinking feeling that he needed to check on the brunette. Why, he wasn't sure. It felt like a hunch. He pulled his phone from his pocket and saw that it was 7:59, a minute before his alarm would go off. A school day, and one he felt inclined to skip. He pulled open their texts and sent one.
Ren: good morning
A minute passed and the alarm blared from his phone. He quickly turned it off and continued to stare at the message. Maybe Akechi just wasn't awake yet. That was possible… But that sinking pit in his stomach refused to let him accept that. He didn't want to irritate him (anymore than he already did by texting him before 'normal people hours.') so he'd wait a bit longer. He stood up and set his phone down on the side of the bed as he got dressed.
"That's not your uniform," Morgana spoke as he stood and stretched.
"I'm not going to school today," Ren replied, not even making an attempt to keep the tired and anxious feelings he had from his voice.
"Why?"
Ren turned as he pulled on his blazer, "I just have a bad feeling, that's all."
"About?"
"Akechi." Ren saw the look Morgana gave him, one that clearly said 'are you kidding?' and he sighed in annoyance. "Maybe it's my imagination, but I can't drop it. I need to make sure that he's okay."
"Whatever," Morgana mumbled and curled up into a ball in himself, "I'll stay home then."
Ren reached down and grabbed his phone, checking to see if he'd gotten a response. Still nothing. With a heavy sigh, he hit the call button and put the phone to his ear. Ring, ring, ri—voicemail. Akechi was awake. The only way for a call to clip like that was if the person intentionally ignored the call. So he was ignoring his message too. That feeling only increased in severity. There was no way he was letting this go.
"I'll be back later—Maybe."
"Maybe?" Morgana nearly squeaked as he looked up, "What do you mean maybe?"
Ren sighed, "I might stay the night, if I have to. I don't know."
"I guess I'll just starve then," Morgana mumbled and curled back into his ball.
"Oh you're so dramatic. Futaba will feed you. I'll see you later," Ren turned and headed down the stairs. He exited LeBlanc before Sojiro had a chance to say anything. He knew the train route to Akechi's apartment in Kichijoji like the back of his hand by now. He could do it with his eyes closed. He barely even registered the changing of trains, the swiping of his pass, and the stairs he climbed. The next thing he knew, he was standing outside that door.
A small moment of hesitation passed. Maybe Akechi was just busy. This would be totally uncalled for. But that sinking feeling… He knocked and waited. Nothing. He knocked again, with more urgency this time. And then finally he could hear footsteps. They were slow, dragging. Something was wrong, then. He waited with bated breath until the door opened. The brunette stared at him with something akin to venom dripping from his lashes.
"What are you doing here?" Akechi's voice was tired. Maybe he had been asleep. Had Ren worried for nothing?
Ren shifted his weight nervously. "I texted you, you didn't answer. I called and it rang twice before going to voicemail. I—"
"Take a hint. I'm not in the mood for your antics today." Akechi's voice had more bite to it than usual. But Ren knew better than to take his words at face value. The man was so good at hiding behind that mask, but it wasn't real. It wasn't how he usually felt. He held it up when he felt vulnerable, upset, or sad.
"I did take the hint." Ren smiled warmly in response. "I am exactly what you need today." He grinned and pushed past him into the apartment. It used to be so cold, so clean. It used to be like a hotel room, but less lived-in. And now, while it still held the same cold walls and general feeling, it looked lived in. It had decorations and it was much more… Akechi, including the Featherman poster above the fireplace.
"That was not permission to fucking enter," Akechi growled out before shutting the door. "What are you doing?"
"I am going to make you coffee and breakfast, and ply you until you tell me what's actually on your mind." Ren sang as he walked into the kitchen. He pulled down the bag of rice and emptied some of its contents into the rice cooker. Once he set it to on, he put the package back up where it belonged, then he got started on coffee.
"There's nothing on my mind. I want to be left alone."
"Nope!" Ren grinned back over at him. "Sit."
As if Akechi hadn't just told Ren that he wanted him to leave, he took a seat at the kitchen table. He lowered his face into his arms, folded against the table. "You're insufferable."
"Talk."
"Nothing is on my mind. I woke up in a bad fucking mood. I didn't want to get out of bed." Akechi's words were muffled by his arms. The long hair that sat past his shoulders was now covering him like a curtain, shielding the sun from its inhabitants' eyes. It really made Ren realize just how long it had gotten. The brunette usually pulled it up into a ponytail on days they saw each other, so he never really noticed.
Ren moved over and sat next to him. "Maybe you need a change. Um… When is the last time you got your hair cut?"
There was a moment of hesitation before Akechi lifted his head and looked at him. "My hair? I'm not a 16-year-old girl who changes her hair every time she's in a slightly bad mood. My hair is fine."
"Answer the question, Goro."
Akechi let out an annoyed sigh as he sat back against the chair. "I don't know. I usually just pin it up or tie it back so I don't have to deal with it."
"I know that."
"My hair is fine."
That was likely one of the most unbelievable lies that Ren had heard come from those lips in a long while. He moved closer and gently pushed some hair from his face so he could see those maroon eyes. "It goes past your shoulders. Your bangs could hardly be considered bangs anymore. Why don't you let me cut it for you?"
"You? Cut my hair? I know you're infuriatingly good at a lot of things, but I highly doubt you know how to cut hair." Akechi snapped.
"You're right, I don't. But I can at least get it to the length I know you prefer. And when you can finally get yourself into a salon, you can get it fixed. It might make you feel better to have hair that doesn't constantly get in your eyes." Ren's voice and demeanor was warm and soft. He was almost positive that he hadn't gotten it cut once since before the Maruki palace. Even if he had gotten it cut in February of last year, it wouldn't matter since it would've been in another reality that they didn't keep.
Akechi clutched the bridge of his nose with two fingers. It was clear he was debating how much longer he could keep arguing for before he'd inevitably lose. He was great at winning against him in chess, billiards, darts. But this, he couldn't win. He knew that. He finally let out an aggravated sigh. "Fine. But when it doesn't make me feel better, will you leave me alone?" Ren gave him an incredulous look and the brunette groaned. "Whatever. Fine. But after coffee."
A soft, airy laugh left Ren's lips. "Of course. After coffee."
As they sat and drank their coffee, Ren could tell that the walls that Akechi had woken up with were thawing. That was good. The last thing he wanted was for him to feel pent up and angry all day. At least he could see underneath that mask, now that he'd let it go. But the brunette was constantly fidgeting with his hair. It was getting in his eyes constantly. He would constantly tuck it back behind his ears, only for it to fall and tickle at his cheeks again. If it wasn't bothering him so much, it might've made Ren laugh.
After his cup was empty, Akechi stood to his feet, "Scissors are in that top drawer. Let's do this in the bathroom." He moved out of the kitchen and into his bedroom. He pushed open the bathroom door and grabbed a towel that he set down on the floor, followed by another. He then pulled his desk chair in and set it in front of the mirror before draping a towel around his shoulders. He sat down and took a deep breath.
Scissors in hand, Ren followed him and saw the setup, "You seem like you've done this before."
"No. I just don't want you making a whole mess of my damn bathroom." Akechi snapped. No, he'd done this before. He seemed to have covered the exact spots where hair could fall. At first, Ren found it funny, but then he gave it more thought. The brunette had done this before because he took care of everything himself during that year. He likely knew how to cut his own hair because he'd been doing it himself. And that thought just made him sad now.
Slowly, Ren combed his fingers through brunette locks. It really had gotten very long. It was wavy, and he found himself wondering how much effort the man put into his hair. It had to be quite an arduous process, but the man had very particular tastes. With the very first snip of hair, Akechi winced. The dark-haired man let out a soft laugh. "If you wince like that, I might make a mistake. Here."
Ren walked back into the bedroom and came back with the book he knew Akechi had been reading and handed it to him. The brunette took it and stared at it for a minute. "How did you know I was reading this?"
"I've seen you reading it?" Ren questioned, confused. Why was he surprised?
Turning the book over and glancing at the front page for a moment, Akechi paused. "I didn't think I read around you that much."
"You don't," Ren replied softly as he snipped another piece of hair. "We've spent the night together, and you read before you sleep."
"You always fall asleep before me though." Akechi glanced up at him.
There was a soft laugh followed by a warm smile. "Not as fast as you think I do." As Akechi resigned and relaxed, he opened the book and allowed Ren to get to work. He had never cut anyone's hair before, even his own—especially his own. Curly hair was impossible to cut well and he didn't want to make his hair look like he'd let a toddler cut it.
The more Ren cut, the more soft around the edges he could see Akechi becoming. His shoulders eased up, his jaw unclenched, and his eyes softened. This was exactly what he needed to help his mood today. Maybe it was because of what day it was, or maybe it was just a bad day. Either way, he was glad that he was here to help the brunette unravel a bit on a day he was in a terrible mood. Snip, snip, snip. Locks of hair fell to the floor, littering the white towels in that soft brown color of the other's hair.
As Ren set the scissors down, he looked at his handiwork now that he was done. He ran his fingers through the brown locks to make sure it was even. He then ran a hand through his bangs to see if they sat right against his forehead and didn't get into his eyes. He then stepped back and smiled at him in the mirror, "All done."
It was then that Akechi's head lifted and he shut the book. "Wow."
"Do you hate it?" Ren asked uneasily. He knew he wasn't a hair stylist. He'd never touched another person's hair in his entire life, but he hoped that it wasn't awful. Well, if it was, it might give Akechi the needed push to go to the salon, he supposed. It'd be a better cut anyway.
"For someone that has never cut hair before, you did… really well." Akechi sat up and set his book down. He ran a hand through his hair, testing the length and positioning. He stood from the chair and shook off the towel around his shoulders. He gave Ren a soft smile. "I do feel better, actually. Thank you."
"I told you, those 16-year-old girls do it for a reason." Ren joked with a soft smile.
"You did not tell me that." Akechi responded with a teasing lilt to his voice as he moved closer to him.
"Well, I thought it… Does that count?" Ren grinned.
The roll of maroon eyes made Ren laugh. Akechi moved closer and wrapped his arms around his waist. "Are you trying to tell me it's the thought that counts, Amamiya?"
"Well…" Ren chuckled nervously. "Sometimes?" He wrapped his own arms around Akechi's neck. "I like that your hair is just touching my wrists when I do this."
"Thank you, Ren." Akechi leaned forward and pressed a soft, meaningful kiss to his lips. "I don't know how you can read me like a book, considering how hard I try to push you away."
"It's because you push me away that I can." Ren replied softly, stepping closer, their bodies flush up against one another, as he kissed him. He moved a hand up to gently brush against his cheek and sit against the edge of his jaw.
That was the first of many days where Akechi would wake up, feeling like he didn't want to even function and Ren swooped in like some kind of superhero to save the day. And while he wouldn't admit it out loud, the brunette did go to the salon a few days later to fix the haircut. It wasn't bad, by any means, but he liked his layers. Ren did do better than he expected, and that was what mattered. He used his stubborn charm to win over the heart of the man who hated himself so badly that he didn't want to move from bed.
Another day went by where Akechi wondered what he did to deserve the most perfect man in the whole world. And another that he wouldn't look that gift horse in the mouth.