Work Text:
“Of course I’ll come home for Christmas, Mom, come on.”
“You never know! Lizzie’s still in Ethiopia with CARE, and did I tell you Edwin’s celebrating with his girlfriend’s family this year?”
“Great, we might actually get to eat some of the pecan pie.”
“Yes, he’s… certainly fond of it, isn’t he?”
“I can’t fault his taste.”
“Are you bringing anyone?”
“No, I—No.”
“Are you sure? We’ll have plenty of room! Even a friend?”
“No.”
“What about Derek?”
“I don’t know any Derek!”
Derek lifted his head from the pillow to give her a look. She grabbed hold of the blanket with her free hand and dragged it up and over his head.
“Will the two of you ever bury the hatchet?” Nora asked, a bit exasperated. “I’d hoped by now—and the two of you living so far from home—”
“He has his own place!”
A sigh came from the blanket. She threw out a kick; he kicked back.
“S-Sorry, Mom, what did you say?”
“I’d feel better if the two of you carpooled. It’s such a long drive.”
“I, um, we’ll see, Mom.”
“You have time to think about it, I suppose.”
There was a pause. Casey rushed to fill it before the usual questions started: How are you? What are you doing this weekend? Are you dating anyone?
“What’s new at home? Did Simon bite anyone else at school?”
“No, but George did,” Nora said darkly.
Casey’s laughter came out too loud, a little guilty but genuine.
“This, I’ve got to hear.”
“Well, he—oh, I’m sorry, honey, I’ve just seen the time, I’m supposed to drop off Simon for a play date.”
“It’s alright, don’t be late!”
“Yes, I’ll—GEORGE! IS SIMON READY?” Casey winced. “Oh, I feel so bad hanging up on you.”
“Mom, it’s really alright.”
“You know you can always talk to me, right?”
“Of course.”
“I just worry, you know. It’s not too lonely, living on your own?”
“No,” Casey said, looking down. “It’s not too lonely.”
A corner of the blanket lifted after Casey hung up the phone. She burrowed into the pocket of space and let Derek hold her.
*
The first time didn’t happen.
The second, third, fourth and fifth time definitely didn’t happen either.
After a couple of months though, they’d had to own up to it and admit they might as well date. With their track record, they’d definitely have an explosive break-up within the month—the week, even—and that would be put an end to it.
And, well. They did have that explosive break-up.
And then a few more after that.
*
“I mean, it’s just not a good idea, right? The holidays are already so stressful, it’s the last thing Mom needs. And we’re still… Who knows where this is going! We might break up tomorrow!”
“I hope not, I’m not sure I can return your Christmas gift.”
She ignored him. “Can you imagine how embarrassing it would be, if we made all this fuss, and then whoops, we break up right after? And it’s inevitable! We’re just so… incompatible.”
He leered at her.
“We broke up six times!” she added hastily.
“I thought we weren’t counting the one in the closet.”
Casey turned up her nose—literally. It was kind of cute. “We’re not. I’m counting the one at your hockey match.”
“Hey, that’s not fair! They were both panic reactions!”
“You broke up with me in front of half your team!”
“You were crying on my coach!”
“He’s used to it!”
And he was, too. Coach was usually careful to keep at least two rookies in between him and Casey; she’d only got him because he had his back to the door that time. Well, now he knew better.
“I wasn’t even injured!”
“You lost a tooth! That—That truant could have disfigured you for life! Which could only have been an improvement,” she remembered to add.
“The guys all call me Pretty Face, now.” He kind of wanted to break up with Casey again just thinking about it.
“Well, they’ve all taken a lot of blows to the head.”
“And so did I, in my own childhood home’s hallway closet.”
“Did not!”
“Did too!”
“And if you did, it’s only what you deserved! You said no one would find us! And instead of that, we were caught—caught—caught canoodling! By Edwin,” she added in an anguished voice.
“We were just kissing, Case.”
“Your hand was on my waist!”
“He recovered quick enough, didn’t he? I’ll have you know I’m still paying him off.”
She blinked at him. “What do you mean, you’re still paying him off? I’m paying him off.”
He blinked at her.
“That little twerp,” Derek said, admiringly.
They took a brief recess to cancel their monthly bank transfers to Edwin. Then they went on a tangent about the time Casey broke up with him twice in a row—“You’re the one who said I couldn’t do that if I hadn’t taken you back yet!”
“What were we talking about, anyway?” Derek remembered to ask halfway through his bowl of cereal.
“Ugh, close your mouth when you eat.”
He opened his mouth wider.
“Ugh. It was that phone call with Mom.”
“Oh, yeah.”
Derek went back to his bowl. He was very careful not to express any opinion on all that. Casey already had enough opinions for half a roster, and she cycled through them too quickly to keep up with. Neutral facts were the way to go.
“How long has it been again?”
“It was our third anniversary last month. I think you’ll remember, you took me to the ballet.”
That very much was not their anniversary, because Casey had an insane spreadsheet subtracting any days—or half-days, or spans of five minutes—they’d been broken up from their total, so it didn’t even stay the same from year to year. But that was a battle to fight another day.
“Three years, huh?”
“Yes,” Casey said, a little weakly, discomfited he hadn’t taken the bait. “How time flies.”
“And we’re even living together now.”
“Because it’s more economical!”
“Sure.” Commitment had to be approached carefully, with Casey. And sneakily. She had panicked the first time he’d introduced her as his girlfriend to someone (break-up number three). “I guess I should build up a list of excuses to explain why I’m here. I already used the catastrophic plumbing incident last time George and Nora came up for a visit. Do you think they’d buy you need around-the-clock care?”
“It’s just… not stable enough yet. We keep breaking up!”
“We do.”
“Maybe if—we go six months without breaking up?”
“We might reach our sixtieth anniversary first.” He considered her. “Bet you’ll break up with me before I break up with you.”
She scoffed. “Please. Don’t make me laugh.”
“Hey, you’re beating me four to two. Or five to three.”
“That’s—Well, that’s only because—I’m basically the perfect girlfriend! You don’t have any real reasons to break up with me.”
“Oh, I can think of some.”
“If I’m taking that bet,” she forged on, “you can’t act awful on purpose to get me to lose.”
“Sure.” She leaned against him, and he pressed a kiss to the side of her head. “I promise I’ll only be awful by accident.”
“I’ll believe that when I see it.”
He could hear the smile in her voice. That was alright: he was smiling, too.
*
“Case, I promise you no one is going to think we have too harmonious a relationship.”
“Of course they are! They’re so used to see us fight like cats and dogs, can you imagine if we suddenly got along?”
“I can’t,” he told her gravely.
She ignored him, and put on the blinker to make her turn. “I really think it’s best to follow the plan. A few pranks, arguing over the remote, the usual.”
“You know what? Sure. No problem.”
She squinted at him. “I don’t want to put you out.”
“No, I’m happy to do this for you.”
“Yes, I can see that. Actually, I want a veto.”
“Hey,” he said with a grin. “Forewarned is forsworn, or something. How can you pull off genuine surprise and rage if you already know in advance what I’m going to do?”
“Maybe we don’t really need adolescent pranks,” she hedged. “We’re adults, aren’t we? Maybe I was a little too hasty, thinking it’d be suspicious if we seemed to get along. Mom and George could believe we’ve matured and moved on from all that nonsense. They could!” she insisted over his doubtful silence. “They could! No, they really couldn’t. Oh, why must you have such a terrible personality!”
“It’s my cross to bear.” He didn’t sound particularly contrite. “But no take-backsies. I will strike when you least expect it.”
“Derek—Oh, look, Mom’s here!”
Nora was just coming out of her own car. She waved at them and came over, waiting for Casey to park and jump out of the car before pulling her into a hug.
“It’s so good to see you, honey! And you, too, Derek.”
“Sure.”
He made a panicked face at Casey when Nora caught him for his own hug; Casey pretended not to see it.
“The drive was alright?” Nora asked once she’d let go.
“It was fine. Derek snored the whole time I was driving, so he was better company than usual, even!” She fake-laughed, before stopping abruptly when she noticed him at the boot of the car and hurrying over.
“Derek,” she hissed, “you can’t carry my luggage in front of my mom!”
“That’s gonna be ten bucks,” he said loudly. “And only because you’re an invalid!”
“Oh, does your knee still hurt?”
“No, no, Mom, Derek’s just making fun of me, you know how he is!”
Nora unlocked the door and let Derek go first. “You know where your rooms are,” she said. “I’ll go get started on dinner.”
“Oh, I’ll help!” Casey offered behind him.
“No, no, you just got here.”
“It’s fine, what are you making?”
“Don’t be silly, go unpack and freshen up, relax a little.”
“I’m taking first shower,” Derek announced, throwing a look back at her from halfway up the stairs.
Casey stopped fidgeting and hurried after him. “Wait, I want first shower!”
*
Derek tried to watch cartoons with Simon and Marti the next morning, but he couldn’t really get into it. They just didn’t make them like they used to. It couldn’t be that he was too old for them. Maybe he was just too sober. The Greek chorus behind them wasn’t helping either.
“She’s always so evasive on the phone. Do you think she’s seeing someone?”
“Did you ask her?”
“She said she wasn’t but, I don’t know. Maybe she just didn’t want to say.”
“Why don’t you ask Derek? He might know.”
“Oh, please. He’s the last person Casey would confide in. No offense, Derek.”
“Oh, none taken. Casey’s confidences are best left to a group of highly-trained therapists.”
George gave a little cough. “Well, I’m sure she’ll tell you when she’s ready.”
“I keep telling her I’d still love her if she was a lesbian, but she won’t bite.”
“Yeah, stop doing that,” Marti called back.
“Maybe it’s an older man,” Nora went on.
Derek made a face at Simon. Simon made a face back.
“Maybe it’s a much older man,” Marti egged her on. “Maybe he’s grandpa’s age.”
“Maybe it’s a much older woman,” George joked.
“Or what if he’s married?” Nora said, still ignoring them.
“What if he’s old and married?”
“What if he’s an old, married lesbian?” Derek piped up.
Marti put up her hand for a high five. Nora didn’t laugh at that one either, though.
Oh, well.
Can’t win them all.
*
“I’ve found the list!” Nora said from the kitchen.
“Great!” George put down the couch cushions he’d been searching and patted his pockets. “And I’ve got the car keys. Alright, we need to go now if we’re to be on time to pick up Simon.”
“I can help,” Casey offered.
“No, it’s alright,” Nora said, coming into the room.
“Come on, I’ll do the shopping with you and George can pick up Simon.”
“We’ve got it, honey.”
“Or I’ll do the shopping with George,” Casey offered, reaching for the list, “and you relax a bit—”
“I don’t need your help!”
Casey drew back.
There was a resounding silence, before George cleared his throat and came to ease the shopping list from Nora’s clenched fist. She didn’t let it go at first, but he squeezed her shoulder gently and she turned her head away and relaxed her grip.
“Come on, Derek,” he called quietly. “I’ll let you drive.”
“Sure,” Derek said after a pause. He bumped into her on the way out; Casey remembered to breathe.
“I’m sorry,” Nora said once they were alone. “I didn’t mean to snap at you.”
“It’s okay.”
“I just… I know I relied on you too much, and I’ve been trying to do better. I don’t want you to feel like you have to work when you’re at home.”
“I don’t feel like that, Mom. Where is this coming from?”
Nora sighed, and sat down on the stairs. Casey sat next to her, gave her shoulder a little bump.
“I don’t know what happened,” Nora finally said, upset. “We used to be so close. And I know, I know you’re not my little girl anymore, and you don’t need me as much—”
“Of course I need you.”
“But you don’t… you don’t tell me things anymore, Casey. You’re always in a rush when you call, and you didn’t even tell me you injured your knee! I just, I feel like I’m on the outside of your life, and I don’t know if, if it’s just part of you growing up and maybe I’m holding on too hard—”
“Mom, please—”
“—or if I’ve done something—”
“Mom, I’m dating Derek.”
“You’re hating Derek?”
“No, I’m dating—I’m going out with Derek.”
“Going out where?”
“I, well, I don’t know, it depends, and sometimes we stay in—Mom, Derek and are together—in a relationship—we have sex!”
“…I don’t need a snack, actually,” Marti said, behind them. She went back up the stairs while Casey buried her head in her knees.
After a while, Nora reached out to pat her back gently.
“Oh, honey. Why wouldn’t you just tell me? Well, I can see why it might be difficult.”
“I didn’t want you to be disappointed in me.”
“You could never disappoint me.”
Casey sniffled. “And I don’t… You’re so happy with George, and now there’s Simon and—it’s such a bad idea, isn’t it? I don’t even know why—It’s so awkward to tell people, and Simon’s going to end up traumatized—and we’re probably going to break up before the end of the year!”
“What? Why?”
“I don’t know yet!” Casey wailed.
“Shh, come here.” Nora wrapped her arms around her, and rested her head on top of Casey’s. “It’s—it’s fine,” she said, bracingly. “Really, it’s not so bad! Simon’s already seeing someone for the biting thing, he’s in good hands. He’ll be fine. Maybe she could see George, too,” she added, musingly. “How… um, how long…?”
Casey had cried, the first time she held Simon. She couldn’t have said why.
“Three years.”
“Oh, Casey. I wish you had told me.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“I’m—You know, mostly I’m just surprised. I mean, Derek, really? You fight all the time!”
“Oh, we still do!” Casey rushed to reassure her.
“That’s… good, then.” Nora didn’t sound particularly reassured. “And you’re… you’re sure about this?”
They’d broken up six—eight—six times, in three years. They argued all the time, about everything. He had terrible manners, and he was allergic to commitment, and he always had to have his way. Casey had recurring stress dreams about various friends and family members throwing red paint at her on her wedding day. But then she’d wake up in his arms, and he’d pick a silly argument until the knot in her stomach was gone. He was so difficult; he made everything in her life easier.
“I’m sure.” She tried to put that feeling in her voice, so her mom would hear it, and maybe understand. “I’m really sure.”
Nora squeezed her tighter. “I’m glad, then,” she said, a little choked. “I’m happy for you.”
She had heard it.
*
They were watching a movie downstairs. Well, Nora and the kids were watching Home Alone; George was sitting on the couch with them and trying to process the talk they’d had with him a few hours before. He blinked once in a while.
Casey and Derek—well, Casey—had decided to make dinner. Nora could faintly hear them bicker when there was a lull in the dialog. It was almost nostalgic.
“Mom, I’ve put the oven timer on! Call me when you hear it beep?”
“Sure, honey.”
They came out of the kitchen together. “A real truce, I mean it,” Derek was saying.
“I’m not sure I believe you.”
“Cross my heart and hope to die. Here, as a show of my good faith: remember how I carried your luggage in?”
“I do. It was very nice of you.”
“It was so I could booby-trap the trunk of the car.”
“Derek!”
“But I’m telling you about it, aren’t I? I’ll even go brave the cold to go unbooby-trap it right now, if you like.”
“My knight,” Casey said dryly.
“Don’t you forget it, babe.”
George twitched. Nora patted his knee. “Come watch the end of the movie with us,” she called.
Casey sat down with them while Derek bundled up. “Actually,” she said a moment after Derek had gone out, starting to stand up, “I just remembered—”
“Don’t go!” Simon said, holding on to her shirt.
“Oh, sweetie, I just need to—just for a minute—I’ll be right back, promise!”
“Simon, let go of your sister.”
“I really—”
The front door opened again, and Casey froze.
Nora looked over, and startled. “Jesus!”
“Casey,” Derek called sweetly. Well, it was probably Derek, underneath all the shaving cream. It was a little hard to say for sure.
Casey backed away slowly.
“Casey, come here.”
She let out a nervous little laugh. “Turnabout’s fair play, right? You’re not mad, are you?”
“It’s alright,” he said, still sweet. “I’ll come to you.”
“No, Derek—I just washed my hair! I—I just forgot about it, I swear! It was an honest mistake! Stay back!”
“Maybe it’s all a prank,” George said suddenly, hopeful, while Casey and Derek chased each other around the house. Nora patted his knee again.
“They’re all mad here, I swear,” Marti sighed.
“All mad,” Simon repeated happily.
Well, Nora thought, trying to focus back on the movie. As long as the kids were alright.