Work Text:
1 Title
This agreement is the Barnes-Rogers Accord 2019.
2 Commencement
This agreement comes into force on 1 March 2019.
3 Interpretation
In this agreement—
Bucky means James Buchanan Barnes
cryogenic facility means any facility designed or built to house living human bodies in a state of cryogenic suspension, and includes any plant, machinery, building, computer equipment, proprietary software, or documentation associated with such a facility
cryogenic suspension means a reversible state, caused by science or magic, in which a living human body has most or all of its neurological and physiological functions temporarily suspended or slowed in a manner that will not cause long-term or permanent harm to the body or any of its functions
home—
(a) means the residence at Brooklyn, New York occupied by Bucky and Steve as a primary dwelling on the date this agreement comes into force; and
(b) includes any other residential dwelling that Bucky and Steve occupy by mutual agreement for the time being, whether temporarily or otherwise, and regardless of whether Bucky and Steve’s occupation of that dwelling has a legal basis; but
(c) in accordance with item 1 of the Schedule, does not include a cryogenic facility
month means a period of 30 days
the old days means the period between 1924 and 1944
Steve means Steven Grant Rogers.
4 Application
This agreement, except for clauses 6 and 11, does not apply during any period in which Bucky voluntarily enters a state of cryogenic suspension.
5 Expiry
This agreement expires upon the death of either Bucky or Steve.
6 Love
(1) Bucky loves Steve.
(2) Steve loves Bucky.
(3) Steve loved Bucky in the old days.
(4) Bucky is deemed to have loved Steve in the old days.
7 Affection
(1) Steve or Bucky may at any time express affection for one another, whether unilateral or mutual.
(2) Without limiting subclause (1), expressions of affection may include the following:
(a) Bucky referring to Steve as a punk:
(b) Steve referring to Bucky as a jerk:
(c) anything that makes Bucky smile like that:
(d) Bucky stroking Steve’s hair:
(e) freshly-scrambled eggs in the morning, whether prepared by Bucky, Steve, or Bucky and Steve acting in concert, or ordered from a commercial or communal kitchen of any kind:
(f) Bucky carefully wrapping Steve’s night shorts around a hot water bottle before Steve goes to bed:
(g) wolf-whistles:
(h) arms slung around shoulders:
(i) sexual contact.
8 Sexual contact
Steve and Bucky may from time to time and at their mutual convenience engage in acts of a sexual nature, including, without limitation,—
(a) anal penetration of Steve by Bucky in accordance with item 2 of the Schedule; and
(b) frottage; and
(c) mutual masturbation; and
(d) fellatio; and
(e) that thing Bucky does with his tongue.
9 Memory
(1) Bucky may elect to engage in any procedure in an attempt to reinstate his lost memories.
(2) Steve may be angry about it.
(3) Bucky is not required to explain his reasoning or actions in regard to any attempt to reinstate his lost memories.
(4) Steve retains the right to cry in the bathroom over what Bucky can, or cannot, remember.
10 Duty to seek and remain in therapy where practicable
(1) Bucky must, where practicable, seek and remain in therapy, and retains the exclusive right to determine whether he—
(a) likes his therapist; and
(b) is comfortable with his therapist; and
(c) wants to continue seeing his therapist; and
(d) finds seeing his therapist useful.
(2) Steve must, where practicable, seek and remain in therapy, and retains the exclusive right to determine whether he—
(a) likes his therapist; and
(b) is comfortable with his therapist; and
(c) wants to continue seeing his therapist; and
(d) finds seeing his therapist useful.
(3) In accordance with item 3 in the Schedule, Sam Wilson is not Steve’s therapist.
11 Cryogenic suspension
(1) Bucky may, at any time, elect to re-enter a state of cryogenic suspension for any period of time not longer than 1 month.
(2) Steve may visit any cryogenic facility in which Bucky is in a state of cryogenic suspension not more than once per day for a period not longer than one hour.
(3) Subclause (2) applies only for the first 7 day period during which Bucky is in a state of cryogenic suspension.
(4) After the period described in subclause (3) expires, Steve must return home.
12 Responsibility to take reasonable care of self
(1) Steve must not run into firefights without thinking.
(2) For the purpose of subclause (1), Steve must remember that he is a highly-trained and seasoned soldier with superior memory recall and tactical planning skills.
(3) If Steve runs into a firefight without thinking, Bucky may in his sole discretion, but only after both Steve and Bucky have entered a place in which they are not at imminent risk of harm, argue with him (see item 4 of Schedule 1).
(4) For the purpose of determining whether to argue with Steve in subclause (3), Bucky must not consider his shaky and imperfect memories of Steve as a frail asthmatic with the survival instincts of a raccoon.
(5) Bucky must not treat his body or mind as disposable.
13 Further sexual contact
Steve wants it in the morning.
14 Housekeeping
(1) All property, whether real or personal, owned by Bucky or Steve prior to the commencement of this agreement is owned jointly by Bucky and Steve.
(2) Despite subclause (1), Bucky and Steve may each hold exclusive control over one storage area, of any size or configuration, for any purpose whatsoever.
(2) Steve must pick up his dirty towels and carry them to the laundry hamper.
(3) For the avoidance of doubt, Bucky is not required to stash all his spare coins in an empty jam jar above the stove.
15 Deprogramming
The deprogramming of Bucky is deemed to be complete.
Schedule
Appendices
1—Transcript from 12 September 2016, during a temporary reversal from a state of cryogenic suspension for machinery maintenance and recalibration
JAMES BARNES: Go home, Steve, for the love of Christ.
STEVEN ROGERS: You’re here.
JAMES BARNES: No I ain’t.
***
2—Later transcript from 12 September 2016
STEVEN ROGERS: Just put it in me already, I ain’t gonna break.
***
3—Extract of voicemail from Samuel Wilson to Steven Rogers, 3 January 2018
—Look, I know this is hard, and I’m happy you want to talk about it, that’s healthy. Just, man, I can be your friend or I can be your therapist, but you have to choose. I can’t—
***
4—Transcript from 27 May 2018, mid-fight with Dr Doom, mad scientist at large
JAMES BARNES: What the fuck were you doing?
STEVEN ROGERS: My job! You saw those civilians.
JAMES BARNES: That garbage truck was on fire!
STEVEN ROGERS: It didn’t even hit—
[a series of popping sounds]
NATASHA ROMANOVA: Pay attention.