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There were pros and cons to going to a live concert with a superfan. Jen's enthusiasm was catching; she was on her feet the whole show, sang along but never so loud that I couldn't hear the band, and screamed particularly juicy behind-the-scenes tidbits in my ear whenever they were relevant.
The thing was, they were relevant a lot.
"Okay, but this was all decades ago," I told her during a break between songs.
"I know!" she said, practically jumping up and down. "And it's still so raw! Oh my god, look at them."
The main singer was talking to the guitarist off-mic. It didn't look like anything out of the ordinary to me.
"You were a baby when they broke up," I reminded Jen.
"Wild, right?" she said. I didn't think she was actually listening to me. "They've been soulmates this entire time."
"If they're soulmates, wouldn't they be followed around by—"
"Oh my god!" Jen cut me off as the next song started. "Oh my god, this is it. You'll see."
I vaguely recognized the song from the oldies radio. It was a slow ballad, the singer gesturing artfully as she crooned into the microphone.
"They try not to let it out on stage," Jen yelled into my ear. "They have, like, multiple cages and handlers. PETA activists tried to release it once but they got bit really bad. But no matter what they do, this song always—oh my god, oh my god!" Jen was practically vibrating as she grabbed my arm.
It was honestly pretty wild. The singer was full-on glaring at the guitarist as she sang, "You won't forget me." She looked like she would happily rip his hair out. He looked like his balls were trying to crawl up into his body.
Then the front rows of the audience started to ripple, people jumping up and down. It spread back through the crowd until I could hear it too: a faint honking sound seeming to come from somewhere off stage.
"It's followed them for years!" Jen shrieked. Her fingers were probably bruising my arm but honestly at this point I didn't care. "Decades! They won't get back together and it won't leave them alone! It's the most fucked up thing I've ever seen!" She was almost crying with joy.
And then the audience broke out in a roar as the goose came out on stage, and the band sang:
"I'll follow you down 'til the sound of my voice will—" HONK "You'll never get away from the—" HONK "—of the woman that—" HONK HONK