Chapter Text
Everything about the room felt oppressive, the windowless walls too close, too blank, their stark lack of decoration providing little in the way of stimulation. Within the quiet room the thump of your heart felt deafening, every beat more thunderous than the last as it pounded against your ribs. You’d been through this countless times, and yet it never got any easier.
Truthfully you knew you were in the clear, yet your heart raced every time. Their lines of questions were invasive, probing and uncomfortable as you were left with little choice but to answer. They were thorough, leaving no stone unturned as they wrung every last drop of information from you. Family history, political leanings, past relationships, they combed through it all with little regard for your comfort. You’d endured countless rounds of interviews, survived their stony gazes and persevered through the silent mind games they played, all of it leading you to today.
You jolted up in your chair as the temperature of the room plummeted sharply, the door swinging open without so much as a knock as a figure entered, his gaze sharp, height oppressive and posture rigid as he strided across the cramped room, seating himself across from you. His fleet insignia glistened beneath the glare of the fluorescent lights above, a quiet reminder of whose realm you would now find yourself immersed in. The shuffling of papers drew you back to reality, your eyes tracking the older man’s hand as he slid a plain manilla folder across the table to you.
“As of today, you along with select members of the PHOENIX Division’s Alpha Team will be operating under the jurisdiction of and in direct collaboration with the Farspace Fleet,” He informed you, his voice carrying an air of unchallenged authority, your skin prickling beneath his pressing gaze as you opened the manilla folder.
Your teeth pressed sharply into your tongue as you quickly stopped yourself from uttering the words that burnt hot within your throat, barely able to disguise your frown as you glanced at the documents before you.
Was this some sort of joke? His stony expression told you otherwise.
It would have served them better if they had handed you sheets of black paper, the contents of the document obscured beneath countless black bars providing you little in the way of true information as you scanned through what little it provided.
“All materials and information related to your efforts with the Farspace Fleet are to remain strictly confidential, I need not remind you of the consequences that will be levied upon breach of confidentiality,”
The urge to scoff burnt hot within your throat as you coughed awkwardly. What could you possibly reveal with what little they had given you. It was widely known the lengths the Fleet would go through to ensure their clandestine operations remained off the record. More than once you’d found yourself clashing with the Fleet previously, whisked away in the middle of PHOENIX operations as the Fleet took over.
“Do you have an issue with what's been provided to you?” The general before you asked, his tone bordering on accusatory as his eyes narrowed ever so slightly.
“I prefer to read all documents I am handed, regardless of how…sparse they are,” You quipped, closing the manila folder before sliding it back across the table to the general.
The corners of his lips twitched, faint, almost unnoticed, an almost discrete display of annoyance with your words, the small action the most emotion you’d ever witnessed from the Fleet’s upper brass.
“You will be working in direct collaboration with Colonel Xia,” He continued, sliding a badge across the table as you picked it up, your photo staring back at you.
Wordlessly the general raised his hand, a silent instruction for you to take your leave as he gestured towards the door. It was a welcomed escape, pushing into the equally oppressive hallway of the Fleet’s administrative wing as you took a deep, calming breath. Across the hallway another door swung open, a tall gentleman exiting, his blue eyes quickly finding your gaze as he flashed you a soft smile. His blonde hair was slicked back, pushed from his face save for a few stubborn strands that framed his sharp face.
“Anyone else come out yet?” He questioned, crossing his arms as he reclined against the wall beside you.
“Just us as far as I’m aware,” You shrugged, glancing down the hallway at the other interview rooms.
“Have they said anything about returning our stuff yet?” He questioned again, earning yet another shake of the head.
Your boot tapped a steady rhythm against the floor as you waited, quietly studying the hallway to occupy your time. The halls were empty save for the occasional Fleet administrative officer that passed by, sparing neither of you a glance as they moved with their postures painfully rigid. The fleet felt more machine than meat, a collection of mechanical puppets designed for warfare and bureaucracy, absent were any traces of genuine humanity or emotion. It was unnerving, the frigid precision that all Fleet personnel seemed to carry themselves with, as though every move, every word, every reaction had been carefully practiced.
Slowly, life began to fill the hallways once more as doors opened, the remaining members of your team having wrapped up their interviews as all exited with the same unnerved look you had previously held. Beneath the harsh flicker of fluorescent lights you all moved, following behind your assigned overseer as he led you through the pristine hallways of the administrative wing. Every turn felt similar to the last, the hallways all indistinct from one another as you trailed behind your guide. You suppressed a groan as you approached yet another security checkpoint, your bags all neatly gathered. The general's voice boomed throughout the expansive hall as he issued a new set of commands, “Present your belongings to be searched before proceeding.”
“All this secrecy for a bunch of medics?” Your blonde colleague muttered, earning him a soft chuckle from you as you gently nudged him, a silent reminder for him to be on his best behaviour as he straightened his posture, flashing you another smile.
Lifting your duffel bag, you dropped it atop the table as the Fleet officer wordlessly pulled it open, rifling through your belongings with little regard as you grimaced at his intrusion. He was thorough, almost painfully so as your face paled, the man disturbing neatly folded piles of clothing and pulling free undergarments, practically waving them around for all to see as he piled them atop the table.
“You may proceed,” He said blankly, gesturing for you to move forward as you bit back a flurry of rash words and a sharp glare, he could’ve at least done you the courtesy of throwing everything he had torn from your bag back in.
Hastily stuffing your items back in your bag, you shoulder it as you walked through the scanner, bracing yourself for a shrill beep that never came as you breathed a quiet sigh of relief. Your name rang out through the crowd once, the call not loud but firm as you spun around.
“That would be me,” You called out quietly, raising your hand meekly as a sharp amethyst gaze found your own, the figure in question moving across the room in lengthy strides.
“Colonel Xia,” He introduced plainly, your mouth running dry as you eyed him cautiously.
This was the colonel?
He was hardly the man you had imagined. Your brain had conjured images of a man worn with age. Whose locks were salt and pepper and his eyes creased at the edges with age and exhaustion. A man whose eyes held no warmth, void of emotion like the other machines that made up the ranks of the Fleet.
The colonel was breathtaking in a way you couldn’t quite wrap your mind around. His eyes were a brilliant violet, conjuring images of crystalline amethyst, glistening like shards capturing the light. There was an almost boyish charm to him beneath the sharp battle fatigues of a Fleet colonel. Everything about him was pristine, immaculate, his uniform sharply pressed, neat and free of even a single crease.
He felt more fiction than fact.
“Pleased to be working with you,” You smiled, extending your hand forward as the colonel’s gloved hand met yours, exchanging a firm handshake before withdrawing.
“The pleasure is all mine,” He hummed, his violet gaze smoldering as he studied you for the briefest of moments before turning, “Follow me.”
Your name rang loudly throughout the hall once more as your steps halted, a low whistle calling your attention to your blonde colleague as he held up a little scrap of fabric.
“Don’t wanna forget this,” He called out, his lips pulled back into a shit eating grin as he tossed the lacy garment at you.
“Jesus Christ Sebastian!” You cried out, your face flush with a furious heat as you quickly snatched your panties from the air, Sebastian’s laughter ringing throughout the hall as the eyes of your team fell upon you.
You could feel your heart plummet within your chest as you turned, the colonel staring at you, almost fascinated, his eyes darkening with an emotion you couldn’t quite place.
Mercifully he uttered not a word of the incident, ushering for you to follow alongside him as he guided you through the barren halls. He moved in long, relaxed strides, every step forcing you to race to keep pace with him. Finally the length of hallways came to an end, giving way to a set of double doors just at its end as you pushed through, wincing at the sharp rush of sunlight that flooded your eyes. You exited onto the tarmac, the scent of ozone and fuel heavy on the wind as you took a deep breath, a welcomed departure from the pristine sterility of the Fleet’s hallways—comparitvely, it felt real.
Around you the tarmac was abuzz with energy, the sound of departing jets roaring by in a deafening rush of wind and engines. Personnel raced by in a flurry of words, all scrambling into formation as Colonel Xia passed by, their postures stiffening as they stood at attention. It all felt larger than life, every craft dwarfing you in size as you strolled by.
Weaving through grounded craft, you entered behind the colonel into a large hangar, an impressive, sleek black craft seated at its centre as personnel darted in and out of the beast's cockpit, all prepping for flight. The colonel’s presence spoke for itself as his unit took notice of his presence, quickly snapping into line as they addressed their superior. You couldn’t tell if they addressed him with fear or reverence, perhaps the truth lay somewhere in between.
“Get her sized and ready for flight,” He instructed, disappearing within the beast of a machine as you were quickly descended upon by a group of officers studying and sizing you up much to your confusion.
“Wait I-”
“Right this way ma’am,” One interrupted, instructing you to follow along as you trailed behind them, leading you to the back corner of the hangar where a small logistics office sat.
Inside smelled heavily of ink and paper, the scent of old coffee lingering in the air as you quietly looked around. Two large windows sat embedded within its black walls, peering outside into the hangar giving whoever oversaw the office all of the happenings outside.
“Please stay put,” The officer requested, leaving you within the office as he closed the door behind him with a soft click.
Two large shelves sat lined with row upon row of folders, their documents so tauntingly left within your reach as you didn’t dare skim their pages, though the temptation persisted. Humming a soft song, you paced about the office, threatening to walk a circle into the floor as you occupied your time. A soft knock sounded upon the door, the officer hardly giving you a moment to answer before entering, his arms full with supplies as he carefully placed them atop the desk.
“Apologies for the inconvenience but please put this on, you may use the office to get changed” He informed you, gesturing to the pile of supplies atop the table as your confusion only deepened.
“I’m sorry, what exactly is happening? Why am I being suited for flight?” You questioned breathily, hastily grabbing at his sleeve, stopping him just before he could exit the office.
“You’ll be flying with the colonel personally,” He explained blankly, hardly stirring as your face paled.
“I wasn’t informed of that, I was under the assumption I'd be flying with the rest of my team aboard a different craft,” You explained, the officer unmoved as he stared at you with those ever unmoving eyes.
“These instructions come directly from the colonel, please utilize the office to get changed,” He repeated blankly, giving you not another moment to challenge him as he turned, exiting the office and closing the door behind him.
Your heart raced dangerously within your chest as you hastily closed the blinds, glancing around the room desperately before silently resolving yourself to get changed.
“It’s just a flight, you’ll be fine,” You whispered, repeating the words to yourself over and over as you tried to soothe yourself.
Your fingers carefully worked at your buttons, belts and zippers, undoing each one with practiced ease as you slipped from the confines of your uniform, bristling beneath the chill of the office as you turned to the pile left for you by the officer. Picking up the black fabric, you unfurled it to reveal a full body black flight suit, pulling it on carefully as you shifted and adjusted fabric atop your body. It was surprisingly form fitting, sitting just right on your curves, almost as if teasing what lay beneath as it caressed your form. A firm knock sounded against the door as you were doing up your zipper, calling for whoever lay behind it to come in, the door swinging open just as the zipper slid atop your bust.
The colonel stood there, seemingly eyeing you as his jaw tightened for just the briefest of seconds, an abrupt, almost missable moment. He’d stripped free of neatly pressed Fleet fatigues, trading them in for his own form fitting black flight suit contrasted by his brown flight harness, a sleek black helmet tucked underneath his arm.
“I wasn’t aware I’d be flying with you personally,” You muttered, kneeling to quickly slip your white uniform boots on, lacing them before standing and turning your attention back to what remained of your supplies.
“We’ll be going over the mission brief during the flight,” He stated plainly, watching you quietly as you fumbled desperately with your own flight harness.
After moments you heard the colonel sigh before placing his helmet atop the table, his hand firm atop your shoulder as he put an end to your attempt to don the harness. Wordlessly he knelt before you, instructing you to step into the harness as he held it for you with a brief tilt of his head. Following his lead, your hand quickly flew to his shoulder to steady yourself as you stepped carefully into the harness, your breath halting in your throat as his gloved fingers lightly brushed your hips as he pulled the harness up along your figure before securing the straps over your shoulder. You barely had a moment to register anything before his hands were upon you again, this time carefully pulling the straps of your harness as he tightened them, tugging on them once to ensure they were properly secured before stepping away.
“Grab your items,” He instructed, signalling for you to follow after him as you did, quickly grabbing your bag and your own issued helmet as you trailed behind him.
Even amongst their rigid postures and blank expressions you could feel the attention of some of his men land upon you as you followed behind the colonel. Within the cage of your chest your heart quickened, thrashing against the confines of your ribs as you stared up at the jet, your leg bouncing with uncontrollable energy as you tried desperately to regulate your now ragged breathing. Your legs felt like jelly beneath you. Weak. Shaky. Unreliable as they threatened to give way with each reluctant step.
“Afraid of flying?” The colonel questioned, a smirk ghosting at the corner of his lips as he took your bag from you.
“I prefer to stay on the ground,” You stated bluntly, swallowing thickly as you watched his crew run through the remainder of their checklist just steps away.
Realistically you knew you’d be fine. That you were flying with the colonel should’ve brought you a sense of comfort—but nothing could quell the cold squeeze of fear that wound around your chest.
“You’re flying with me, you’ll be fine,” He hummed, you could swear you saw the corner of his lips twitch into another faint smirk as he turned his back to you, ascending the stairs into the jet's cockpit.
Taking one last deep breath, you pushed yourself forward, shakily ascending the stairs, each step requiring monumental effort as your legs felt heavy beneath you. The colonel extended a gloved hand which you happily accepted, pulling you into the cockpit as you shakily lowered yourself into your seat, taking stock of the cockpit around you.
“Helmet on,” the colonel instructed, putting on his own helmet, securing his respirator in place as you quietly followed suit.
Your hands shook and fumbled with your seatbelt as you fastened yourself into your seat, pulling the restraints so tight that you strained against them, your breaths strained though you paid it no mind. The world around you blurred and muffled beneath the fog of panic as your eyes slammed shut, mentally reciting a mantra to calm yourself as the colonel communicated with his ground crew, ensuring he was all good to go. Through the haze of panic, his voice was steady, baritone and smooth as it came through your headset, strangely calming as he tested his comms. You could hear the soft mechanical whir of the dome sealing shut around you, the cockpit closing in around you as your breath quickened, your heart threatening to break free from your chest. Your fingers blanched as they dug into your harness, the slow roll of the jet taxiing onto the runway causing the cold clench of fear that grasped you to wind tighter within your chest.
“Breathe,” He instructed, his words warping beneath the fog of fear as the world spun around you.
His words didn’t reach you, your breathing rapid as the world quickly began to blur at the edges.
“In for four, hold for seven, out for eight,” He instructed, you could hear the shuffle of fabric as he shifted alongside you.
“I…what?” You questioned.
“Inhale through your nose for four seconds, hold for seven seconds, exhale through your mouth for eight seconds,” He clarified, wearily you opened your eyes, quietly watching the runway slowly roll by as you taxied along.
“One, two, three, four,” His voice was steadying, a guidelight through the thick fog as you focused on his sultry tone.
Slowly your breathing settled, the fog retreating just enough to allow you to gather your thoughts as you looked around, the colonel’s voice steady within your ears. You took over, repeating the words quietly to yourself as the colonel stopped, pushing the throttle forward as your heart plummeted once more, the craft racing forward as a strange pressure settled within your chest.
“F-Fuck,” You whimpered, your lip trembling as you forced your gaze upon the panel before you, anywhere but the retreating ground just beyond.
Every second word that fell from your lips was a curse, a quiet string of foul utterances and fearful whispers as you climbed through the clouds.
“Focus on your breathing again,” He instructed, his voice crackling through the comms as you flashed him a weak thumbs up.
In for four. Hold for seven. Out for eight.
In for four. Hold for seven. Out for eight.
You weren’t sure how long had passed before you finally settled, barely able to lift your gaze as you glanced at the brilliant blue sky that stretched on endlessly just beyond.
“I…thank you for that colonel,” You muttered, a faint puff of air crackling through the comms as you could swear the stone faced colonel just chuckled at your plight.
“Caleb, call me Caleb,” He insisted, reclining in his seat, “It doesn’t serve me well having my medic fall unconscious on a flight,”
He looked at ease, like the cockpit was truly where he belonged. The rigidity of the colonel was gone, substituted with something softer, gentler as he finally turned to you.
“Alright then…Caleb,” You muttered.
“Have you familiarized yourself with the mission brief?” He asked plainly.
“What brief? The pages of redactions?” You questioned.
“What are you familiar with then?” He asked.
Despite its scarcity you had studied the document thoroughly in what little time you had, familiarizing yourself with all that was presented to you.
“Our mission area is Hanzha City where I along with other PHOENIX Division personnel will be playing a supporting role to the Farspace Fleet personnel assigned to the area,” You answered, Caleb humming as you recited what little information you had.
“Hanzha is currently under siege, mass casualties are expected, including amongst Fleet personnel,” He stated bluntly.
“Nothing we haven’t dealt with before,” You countered, cautiously reclining back in your seat as you finally let your shoulders fall.
Silence fell over the cockpit, the steady thrum of equipment and rhythmic chirps of monitor your only companion.
“Never thought I would work on a joint mission with the Fleet, more often than not I find myself and my team being dismissed from a site by your colleagues,” You joked softly, attempting to fill the silence as Caleb turned his gaze to you.
“Is that so?” He asked, his voice laced with the faint whispers of amusement, “What exactly do you think about the Fleet?”
The question had all the trappings of a setup, waiting for you to step into its sharp maw, daring you to answer—you didn’t flinch at the opportunity.
“I think that the Fleet doesn’t value the PHOENIX Division compared to other primarily combat units like UNICORNS,” You stated matter-of-factly, mentally recounting the numerous times you’d found yourself escorted mid work, your hands still sullied with the fresh blood of wounds you had carefully been tending to.
“You’d think other Fleet leadership would see the value of retaining a talented healer such as yourself to handle casualties,”
Your heart came to a screeching halt within your chest for a brief moment, your eyebrows furrowing in confusion as you stared at Caleb.
“How did you-”
“Anhausen Class: Healing, graduated top of your class and was immediately recruited to join the PHOENIX Division’s Alpha Team where you’re repeatedly called to multiple mass casualty events,” He recounted, the chilling precision with which he said it reminding you of who sat next to you, a colonel within the Fleet.
“So you did your research,” You muttered, your heart cautiously returning to a steady rhythm as though unsure it should start again.
“Anhausen class evolvers are rare, healing evolvers more so,” He continued plainly.
“Is this why I’ve been assigned to work alongside you personally?” You questioned, Caleb confirming your question with a simple nod as you nodded in understanding.
“As the most talented amongst your colleagues you’ll be assigned to the most difficult cases, you’ve got what it takes, no?” He challenged.
“I do,” You answered, holding your head high.
You refused to let the Fleet get into your head, you wouldn’t doubt your skills, not now, not ever.
“Good,” he said.
The rest of the flight passed in merciful silence as you soared through the sky, watching as the runway of Hanzha’s Fleet base slowly faded into view, your body rigid as you quietly braced yourself for the descent, tensing for a jolt that never came as Caleb landed with practiced ease, his posture ever relaxed as though the task was as simple as riding a bike. No sooner had the cockpit opened and the ground crew locked the ladder had you climbed out, happy to finally be on solid ground once more as you uttered a quiet thank you to the universe.
“I’ll escort you to your accommodations,” Caleb instructed, handing you your duffle bag before shouldering his own as you followed behind him, your legs still weak beneath you, the false sense of weightlessness strangely lingering within your chest.
You walked in silence, leaving behind the oil slicked grime of the tarmac as you made your way towards accommodations, passing by countless Fleet officers, their faces blanching at the sight of Caleb, quickly snapping into silent salutes as you passed by.
“You’ll be staying with me,” Caleb stated matter-of-factly, your eyes widening as your head snapped towards him, the man paying you no mind as you stared at him in shock.
“You’ll take the room on right, get plenty of rest, you’ll need it,” He instructed, disappearing into the bounds of his own room as the door swung shut behind him, leaving you with nothing but your own thoughts and a world of questions.
Deciding to heed his warning you retreated to your own room, sparing yourself a glance in the mirror, the woman who stared back exhausted, worn and weary as you sighed.
Whatever tomorrow held, you would tackle it head first.
You were ready.