Chapter Text
“Fucking freak.” Sakura muttered, staring down his reflection in the mirror of the school bathroom. Nobody was here at this time, just him alone. He couldn’t bear to go back home just yet, the place uncomfortable and lonely. Bofurin was more like home than his apartment. Still, as he stared at his own reflection, he felt like an outsider. Like he didn’t belong- like he never would. He touched the scars on his chest tentatively, cursing through his teeth. He felt like he was on the verge of a breakdown when the restroom door suddenly opened.
“Oh, it’s you.” Kaji mumbled. “What are you still doing here? And what happened to your chest?” There was a hint of concern in his voice as he gazed upon Sakura’s bare chest through the mirror, but Sakura’s ears were ringing, and he was frozen in place. He slowly turned and looked at Kaji with horror.
“What… why are you here?” He croaked. Kaji stared at him, confused. Sakura looked like he had seen a ghost, and he couldn’t fathom why.
“… I just finished up patrol and was going to use the restroom before I head home. What are you doing here?” He asked again.
Sakura turned away from him. “Doesn’t matter…” he muttered, before he turned back to Kaji. “You… you can’t tell anyone about this.” His eyes were pleading, but Kaji didn’t understand.
“Tell anyone… what, exactly?”
Sakura’s eyes widened in surprise. “You mean you didn’t realize? That I’m…”
“That you’re what? Just spit it out already.” Kaji huffed, annoyed. Sakura would’ve breathed a sigh of relief if he wasn’t already in too deep. Kaji wasn’t going to let him go now.
“I-I’m… trans…” he said it with so much shame, closing his eyes as tears began to form. He couldn’t believe he uttered the words aloud. He couldn’t believe he was telling Kaji, of all people. Kaji, who Sakura could only really call a friend very recently. Kaji, who was staring at him bug-eyed with his mouth hung open. Of course, Sakura wasn’t looking at him to see this though.
“Trans, huh… like, you used to be a… girl?” He asked, trying his best to tiptoe around the situation. Sakura nodded, his head hung low. Kaji sighed, running a hand through his hair. “So that’s what you’re all worked up for? Cuz I saw your chest scars?” Sakura nodded again, and Kaji closed the gap between them.
“Listen, Sakura. I don’t give a shit about who or what you used to be. Nobody does. What matters is the you right now. And the you right now is a great fighter, and a great friend.” Kaji gave him an awkward half smile, and Sakura smiled slightly in return.
“Thanks, Kaji… I wasn’t really expecting you to be the first person I’d tell.”
Kaji’s eyes widened at that. “I’m the first?”
Sakura nodded again. “Well, yeah… though I didn’t really intend on telling anyone in the first place.” He gave a self-deprecating smile. Kaji was stunned into silence for a moment, before he regained his composure.
“I won’t tell anyone, if that’s what you want. But… nobody at Bofurin would care. Not your vice captains, or your class, and especially not Umemiya, if that’s what you’re worried about.” Kaji placed a hand on his shoulder, and Sakura’s face reddened at the contact.
“Yeah, I know… well, kinda… I’m just- I’m not ready.”
“That’s ok, too. If you ever want to talk about it, I’ll be there for you.” Sakura’s eyes widened, before he practically melted into Kaji’s touch- he was just so relieved.
“Yeah, thanks, Kaji…” Kaji nodded, before he hummed quietly. The interaction felt like it was missing something, and without thinking he reached out and hugged Sakura. Poor touch-starved Sakura was now completely red in the face as he hovered his hands awkwardly over Kaji’s back. Kaji pulled away, much to his dismay, but gave his shoulder one last pat.
“I’m gonna use the bathroom, but wait for me. Let’s get something to eat.” Sakura sputtered something unintelligable in response, but did as Kaji said anyway. After he had finished in the bathroom, the two made their way to a family restaurant and ate a meal together in comfortable silence.
“Can I ask you something?” Kaji and Sakura were sat side by side on the cool bench on the rooftop, sweating after their sparring session and watching the other boys have a go at each other.
Sakura sighed. “Is it about that?” Kaji nodded, and Sakura groaned. But ultimately, he gave Kaji the go ahead. “Sure…”
“How did you know?”
Sakura paused. He’d never really thought about it, he just always knew something was off about him. He hated being forced into dresses as a kid, for one. He also hated traditionally girl’s toys. He thought for a moment longer before he responded. “I don’t know, I guess I’ve just always known. I was never normal, in more ways than one… this was supposed to just be another one of my ‘quirks’, but the feeling that I was in the wrong body only got stronger as I got older. Going through puberty was the worst.”
Kaji nodded thoughtfully. “You think you’re so abnormal, but you’re just like any other guy here. Everyone at Bofurin is dealing with something. I… I feel like a monster, more often than not. I take things too far. You’re a far better man than I’ll ever be.”
“That’s not true!” Sakura said angrily, and Kaji’s eyes widened, before he laughed. Sakura stared at him in confusion, before Kaji settled into another trademark awkward smile.
“Whatever, it doesn’t matter. But, thanks, Sakura.” Sakura turned red at the look he was being given, before he ran a hand through his hair.
“I didn’t ever do nothin’…” he muttered.
“You did.” Kaji continued smiling, “You just don’t realize it.”
“Did it hurt?” Kaji asked as they were on patrol, just the two of them. Ever since Kaji found out about Sakura’s secret, Sakura found himself wanting to spend more time with his senpai. Maybe it was because Kaji was the only one who knew, and he took comfort in that fact. Kaji didn’t seem to mind Sakura hanging around him much either, so he decided it was fine.
“You mean my chest?” Kaji nodded. “I mean, not really? I was knocked out for the surgery. Recovery was a bit of a pain, though.”
“Do you ever regret it?”
“Not one bit.” Sakura smiled at the memory of staring at his flat chest in the mirror for the first time after the surgery. “It’s amazing… how much something like that meant to me. How much it still means to me.” They had stopped for a moment, Sakura gazing up at the sky. Kaji’s eyes stayed on Sakura, and in that moment he thought he looked awful handsome. Sakura was always a looker, but Kaji had only caught on recently. He blushed at the thought, averting his eyes as they continued their walk.
Kaji invited Sakura over to his house for the first time about a month after he found out. His parents were gone, so Sakura wouldn’t have to deal with any awkward meetings. They walked upstairs and entered Kaji’s room. Kaji threw him a water bottle, and Sakura thanked him. They had just finished patrols for the day, and they were sweaty and out of breath from taking out a couple of trouble makers.
“What a bunch of idiots.” Kaji scoffed, and Sakura nodded in agreement. He sat awkwardly next to Kaji on his bed, while Kaji flopped backwards, the bed bouncing with his weight. Sakura found himself staring at his slightly exposed stomach, and he blushed, looking away quickly.
“Hey, I got another question.” Kaji stated, staring up at the ceiling.
“Hm?” Sakura no longer felt nervous or agitated when Kaji asked him questions about his transition, no- he welcomed them. It was a bit freeing to talk so openly about himself.
“You don’t have to answer if it makes you uncomfortable.” Kaji started, “but… are you different, down there? Like, did you get surgery there, too?”
Sakura was blushing profusely and he thanked everything that Kaji’s eyes were focused on the ceiling and not him. He wasn’t expecting a question like this.
“Umm…”
“N-nevermind, I don’t know why I asked.” Now it was Kaji’s turn to blush, and he brought a hand up to cover his face.
“No, it’s fine. I get why you’re curious.” Sakura rubbed his red face. That’s right, this was just innocent curiosity. There wasn’t some deeper meaning to Kaji asking about his private parts… right?
“I still um… have… female anatomy, I guess.” He never could bring himself to say the word ‘vagina’- It repulsed him. He hated his anatomy, and he avoided afab terminology at all cost. “But…” he continued, “It’s kinda different, now.”
“Different how?”
Sakura rubbed the back of his neck. “Umm… well, I’ve been on testosterone for about 3 years now. And it changes your body a bit. Like… my voice is deeper, and I have a lot more hair. It also… well, it…”
“Don’t force yourself, man.” Kaji turned his head to face him, though he could really only see the back of his head.
“… I don’t think I can talk about it. Sorry.” Kaji sat up quickly, surprising Sakura as his gaze pierced his.
“Don’t apologize. Ever. I’m sorry for pushing.” Kaji said sternly, then his expression softened as he apologized.
“No, you don’t be sorry either. I’d be curious, too, if I was you.” They smiled at each other, before the realization dawned on them that their faces were far, far too close. They pulled away at the same time, a red blush dusting both their cheeks.
“Umm… Sakura?” Kaji started cautiously.
“Y-yeah?” Sakura muttered.
“Can I ask you something else? It’s not about that.”
“Sure, go ahead…”
“Are you… do you like guys?” Kaji was blushing furiously when Sakura turned back to look at him, his eyes impossibly wide.
“Do you?” He asked, the surprise tangible in his voice.
“… yeah, I do. I always have.”
Sakura was shocked, to put it simply. He never suspected that Kaji was gay, never would’ve expected this in a million years. After the shock subsided, Sakura found himself reaching out for Kaji’s hand. Kaji looked up in surprise, his eyes finding black and golden ones. He took his hand tentatively, interlacing their fingers together.
“I like guys too. Always have.” Sakura half-smiled, and Kaji’s eyes widened before he slowly relaxed, Sakura’s hand grounding him. In the silence, a single thought passed through Sakura’s mind. “Are you asking because… you have someone you like?”
Kaji nodded slowly. “Yeah…” he breathed, before steeling his resolve and looking Sakura right in the eye. “You.”
Sakura’s eyes widened again, his face turning impossibly red before sputtering, “M-m-me?!”
“Don’t make me say it again!” Kaji huffed, trying to pull his hand away to cover his face, but Sakura held on tighter.
“I-I like you too!” Sakura yelled, and Kaji blushed furiously.
“You do?!”
“Yes! Don’t act so surprised!” Sakura glared at him, and Kaji yelled back.
“I am surprised! God!” He groaned and fell backward on the bed, his hand still interlaced with Sakura’s.
Sakura fell backward as well, and they turned on their sides to face each other, their entangled hands next to their faces.
“Sakura…” kaji whispered.
“Yeah?” He mumbled in response.
“I wanna kiss you.” Sakura averted his eyes before glancing back shyly.
“Do it, then.”
Kaji gulped, before moving even closer into Sakura’s space. He tilted his head, his mouth mere inches from Sakura’s before he closed the gap. Kaji’s lips were surprisingly soft, and Sakura engraved the feeling into his mind. He kissed back, softly, and all too soon it was over as Kaji pulled back. He then kissed his knuckles, as if Sakura wasn’t already embarrassed enough. Sakura huffed, exasperated as he buried his head against Kaji’s chest, hands balled into fists in his shirt. Kaji looked down in surprise before he laughed breathily, wrapping his arms around Sakura’s body and pulling him closer.
“What’s with you and Kaji-senpai lately? You guys are together like, all the time.” Nirei asked, notebook in hand, like he was about to get some hot new info.
“You know, I’ve noticed that as well, Nirei-kun. Sakura-kun, what is going on with you and Kaji-kun?” Suo asked, his gaze piercing the back of Sakura’s head as they walked.
“Dunno what you’re talking about.” Sakura grumbled, and Nirei and Suo exchanged curious looks. Oh, something was definitely up with their captain and senpai.
“C’mon Sakura-san, tell us! Surely it’s something your vice-captains can know about, right?!” Nirei pleaded.
Sakura groaned, putting a hand to his head in frustration. He stopped walking, and Suo and Nirei did the same. “Meet me…” he mumbled, and the two had to strain their ears to hear him. “On the rooftop. After school.” With that Sakura continued walking, leaving Nirei and Suo behind to ponder what he could possibly have to tell them that he couldn’t say right here.
On the rooftop, Sakura clutched at the chain link fence. He heard footsteps behind him, and he knew it was Suo and Nirei without having to look.
“Sakura-kun, we’re here.” Suo said. “What was it you had to tell us?”
Sakura turned slowly to face them, but his gaze stayed glued to his feet. Suo and Nirei had a look of concern on their faces, and they waited patiently for Sakura to find the strength to speak.
“About me and Kaji, well… we’re kind of… going out.”
Nirei’s jaw hung open, and Suo’s eyes widened in surprise. “Y-y-you and Kaji-senpai?!” Nirei nearly yelled, before Sakura shushed him sternly.
“Yes, god, be quiet will you?!” Sakura whisper-yelled, and Nirei slapped a hand over his mouth.
Suo was silent throughout this, but he moved closer to Sakura, and Sakura wondered if he was going to hit him with how serious he looked. That is, before Suo broke into a wide smile and began aggressively patting Sakura on the shoulder.
“Wow, Sakura-kun, who knew you had it in you!” He beamed, and Sakura growled at the red head before he laughed, backing off. “Seriously, we’re happy for you, Sakura-kun. Isn’t that right, Nirei-kun?”
“Oh, totally!” Nirei exclaimed excitedly, already pulling out his notebook to record the new revelation. Sakura groaned, moving a hand over his face in exasperation.
“Did you really think we were going to be mad or something? You could’ve just told us in the hallway, we didn’t need to come all the way up here.” Suo smiled, but his eyes widened when Sakura’s face suddenly turned serious once more.
“That’s not… the only reason I asked you to come up here.”
Suo and Nirei looked at him curiously, and waited for Sakura to begin speaking again. Sakura gazed up at the sky for a moment, before glancing from Nirei to Suo. He took a deep breath.
“I’ve been… keeping something, from you guys. From everyone, actually. I didn’t even mean to tell Kaji, he just kind of found out. I intended to go through my entire high school career without anyone knowing, but… Kaji made me realize that… I don’t want to hide myself anymore. I don’t want to lie to people. Especially not you two. So…”
“W-wait!” Nirei exclaimed. “Sakura-san, I don’t know what you’re about to tell us, but you don’t owe us an explanation for anything. It’s ok!”
“Nirei-kun, Sakura-kun knows he doesn’t owe us anything. I think getting whatever it is off his chest will bring Sakura-kun great relief.” Suo smiled at him, and Sakura smiled back.
“Thanks Suo. It’s alright, Nirei, I really do want to tell you guys… it’s just, well, the thing is… I’m not really sure how you’ll react. But, I know you won’t hate me. At least, I don’t think you will. So that’s why…” Sakura took a deep breath. “That’s why I want you to know… I’m transgender.”
Nirei and Suo went completely silent, their eyes widening as Sakura looked away, unable to face their reactions. They weren’t expecting this. After a moment, suo coughed, and Nirei parted his mouth to speak, but nothing came out.
“S-say something, will you?!” Sakura grumbled, and he wondered if he’d made a mistake. That thought quickly faded as Suo placed his hand back on his left shoulder, and he felt Nirei grab his right arm. Nirei sniffled, and that’s when Sakura realized he was crying.
“W-what are you crying for?!” Sakura yelled, suddenly worried for his friend.
“Sakura-san!” Nirei whined, “I’m just, I’m so happy you told us that! That you trust us!”
“Of course I trust you!” Sakura grumbled, and his eyes met Suo’s next.
“I’m so proud of you, Sakura-kun. You’ve come a long way.” The two boys hugged him tightly, and this time Sakura was a bit more used to the contact, and he moved his arms to hug them back.
“I told Suo and Nirei. About us… and about me.” Kaji’s eyes widened, before he hugged Sakura tightly, grinning from ear to ear.
“Sakura, that’s great! I’m so, so proud of you.” He ruffled his hair, and Sakura huffed in annoyance, but he was smiling when he pulled back to meet Kaji’s eyes. They shared a sweet kiss before Kaji pulled Sakura down to the floor. They fell onto his futon- they were at Sakura’s apartment this time.
Sakura was dressed in Kaji’s signature hoodie and a pair of boxers, Kaji in his boxers and a t-shirt. It was their first sleepover, and Sakura was more than a little nervous. Subconciously, Sakura wondered if something was going to happen tonight. He found himself strangely excited, yet terrified at the same time. Kaji moved to kiss him again, this time pressing his tongue against Sakura’s lips, pleading for entry. Sakura granted it to him, opening his mouth so Kaji could slip his tongue inside. The muscles moved around each other, drool spilling out the sides of their mouths as they made out for the next few minutes. They parted briefly for air before returning to each others’ mouths, kissing like they were starved of each other despite almost never being apart.
Sakura sighed contendedly, and he rubbed his thighs together subconsciously. He was suddenly very aware of the wetness between his legs, and his face turned a deep shade of red. Was he really like this just from kissing? Kaji took notice of his horrified expression, caressing his cheek with one hand.
“What’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing.” Sakura mumbled.
“It’s not nothing, are you uncomfortable? We can stop-“
“No! I mean, unless you want to…”
“What I want,” Kaji’s expression turned serious, “is for you to tell me what’s wrong.”
Sakura took a deep breath and hid his head in his hands. “‘M wet…” he mumbled, barely audible. But Kaji heard him loud and clear.
“O-oh.” Kaji breathed, and suddenly his mind was blank. He couldn’t form any words as he glanced down to Sakura’s thighs, which were tightly clenched together. He took a shaky breath, looking back up at Sakura who’s face was still hidden behind his hands. “… You wanna do something about it?”
Sakura looked at him in disbelief. Did Kaji know what he was even suggesting? He frowned, looking away again. “You only like guys, right?” He asked.
“Huh? Yeah?” Kaji was clearly confused.
“I’m scared… you’re not gonna be attracted to me. I’m not like you down there.”
“No shit.” Kaji laughed, and Sakura growled at him.
“You’re a man, Sakura. And I’m very attracted to you. Whatever you have going on down there isn’t going to change that.”
Sakura blushed, before nodding slowly. “Ok… if you’re sure…”
“I’m sure.” Kaji said firmly. “Can I touch you?” Sakura nodded again, and Kaji pulled Sakura into his lap. Sakura rested his legs on either side of Kaji’s muscled thigh, his crotch pressed firmly against it. He let out a shaky moan at the contact before slapping a hand over his mouth. Kaji reached up to grab his hand, interlacing their fingers.
“I wanna hear you…” he pouted, and Sakura thought he looked so cute like this. Kaji leaned in to kiss Sakura again, placing his free hand on his waist and slipping it under his hoodie. He pulled Sakura closer to him, trying to get the younger male to start grinding against him. Sakura started, his movements shy at first, before he began grinding down hard against Kaji’s leg. He was getting increasingly more wet, and Kaji began to feel it soak through his boxers and slick up his thigh. He groaned, feeling incredibly turned on by the fact Sakura was getting off on him. Sakura moaned softly, moving back and forth along the span of his thigh, before he began picking up the pace.
He kissed Kaji to muffle his moaning as he felt himself getting close. He didn’t want it to end, though- not yet. It took everything in him to stop his movements and climb off of Kaji. Kaji looked at him with a worried expression, before relaxing at the sight of Sakura’s blissed out face.
“Don’t wanna cum yet.” He mumbled, and Kaji just nodded, swallowing the saliva accumulating in his mouth. Sakura removed his hoodie, and Kaji moved to remove his shirt as well. Once they were both shirtless, Kaji motioned Sakura to lay back against the futon, which he did without protest. His heart was practically beating out of his chest as Kaji began removing his boxers. He was so, so nervous as to what his reaction would be.
What he did not expect was Kaji’s wide eyes staring at him in complete shock. He already knew what Sakura’s parts were, why was he acting so surprised now? “Sakura.” Kaji said firmly.
“Y-yes?” Sakura asked, worried.
“You have a dick.”
Sakura sputtered, before he broke out into a laughter he couldn’t help.
“Seriously, you were so worried when you had a thing this whole time?!”
“It’s not a dick.” Sakura smiled, a little sad, but mostly amused with Kaji’s reaction.
“What is it?” Kaji asked.
“Most people call it a tdick. But it’s really just a bigger clit.”
“Is that what you were talking about with taking testosterone and stuff?”
Sakura nodded. “Yeah, that’s one of the effects.”
“Interesting…” Kaji trailed off, staring it at with curiosity. He reached out to touch it before looking up at Sakura, silently asking if this was ok. Sakura nodded shyly, and Kaji wrapped his fingers around the nub. It was only about 3 inches, so Kaji practically engulfed it with his fingers alone.
“Ahhh…” Sakura moaned, high and needy, and Kaji blushed furiously. He never thought he would get to this point with Sakura, and now that he was here he was overcome with emotion. His dick strained at the front of his boxers, but he was completely entranced by Sakura that he didn’t even notice.
He dipped his hand lower, rubbing his fingers between Sakura’s folds and feeling the wet heat that was practically gushing out of him. It was so incredibly hot, Kaji audibly groaned. Sakura was panting softly, overwhelmed but still aching for more.
Kaji moved his hand back up to grip his clit, his fingers now wet with slick, and began sliding them up and down. Sakura moaned loudly, and Kaji stared at him as his head thrashed from side to side. He was really feeling it, and Kaji absentmindedly wondered what would happen if he put his mouth on him.
Without thinking, he lowered his head and took his entire clit into his mouth. Sakura screamed, the sensation new and a little terrifying, but so, so sweet.
“Kaji- Ren- Stop, I’m gonna… stop!” Sakura hit him on the head, and Kaji lifted off of him with a pop.
“You don’t wanna cum or something?” Kaji asked, confused.
“I want to… when you’re inside…” he grumbled, averting his eyes with a fierce blush resting on his cheeks. Kaji’s eyes widened as his face turned red as well.
“O-oh. Got it. Um…” Kaji bit his lip, and Sakura tilted his head. “Do you have lube? And condoms?”
“I’m wet enough as it is.” He said, a little embarrassed. “And I’m on birth control.”
Kaji swallowed, nodding. He removed his boxers, his dick springing free. He was red and aching as he gave himself a few pumps, precum already leaking out of the tip. He lined himself up with Sakura’s entrance, before asking if it was alright to continue. When Sakura nodded, he pushed in slowly.
“Ah, ah, ah…” Sakura panted as Kaji seated himself inside Sakura. He was so tight, so wet, so hot. It felt incredible, and Kaji had to pause for a moment and steady his breathing, willing himself not to cum yet. Once he had a little more control, he began moving.
Sakura was reduced to a moaning, panting, whimpering mess. He felt amazing, so full that all he could think of was Kaji’s dick pounding in and out of him. His eyes rolled into the back of his head as his back arched off the futon, and he knew he was close after teetering on the edge all night.
“Ren, Ren, I’m close, I wanna cum!” He keened, and Kaji grunted in response.
“Almost, almost, I’m gonna cum too-!” He groaned, and Sakura matched the sound with a long, sensual moan. “Haruka,” Kaji panted, “I love you, I love you.”
“I love you!” Sakura cried, and he was coming. His moans took on a higher pitch than before, and tears streamed down his face as his orgasm washed over him. Kaji was still thrusting, when Sakura whimpered pitifully.
“Stop, stop, it’s too much-!”
But Kaji was so close, and with just a few more thrusts he was coming deep inside Sakura. Sobs wracked Sakura’s body as Kaji grinded against him, his hips twitching as he rode out his orgasm. He pulled out slowly, watching in awe as his cum trickled out of Sakura’s hole. Sakura was still crying softly, and Kaji made to lay next to him, brushing the tears from his eyes. Sakura turned to face him, glaring at him.
“I told you to stop!” He smacked his shoulder, but there was no bite in his tone. He would’ve felt bad if Kaji actually did stop, wanting him to feel the same high he did.
“Sorry, sorry.” Kaji laughed, caressing Sakura’s cheek with a tenderness that was reserved only for him.
“You really mean it?” Sakura whispered, suddenly serious.
“Mean what?”
“What you said… right before…”
“Oh.” Kaji blushed, before nodding. “Yeah, I meant it.”
“Will you say it again?” Sakura asked with pleading eyes.
“Y-you say it!”
“You first!” Kaji groaned, hiding his face in Sakura’s shoulder. Sakura wondered if it was really that hard, when Kaji turned and whispered in his ear.
“I love you, Haruka.”
Sakura felt overcome with emotion, and tears welled in his eyes once more. He wrapped his arms around Kaji’s neck, pulling him impossibly close.
“Ren… I love you, too.”