Work Text:
The blood dripped from his wrist onto the dark hardwood floor of his bedroom. Sanemi’s green blade, now stained red.
Sanemi slowly got up from where he had been sitting on the floor, and got himself cleaned up. The wounds were deep as usual, Shinobu would scold him for not getting stitches if she ever found out.
Sanemi got a bowl of water and an old towel to start cleaning the blood from his wrist. He held it there for what seemed like hours till the bleeding finally stopped. He felt lightheaded as he stood, his vision blackening at the edges. He must’ve lost more blood than usual, or maybe he just needed to eat something. It was probably the latter, he couldn’t remember the last time he ate anyways.
Sanemi managed a small meal before Sorai informed him that he was needed for an emergency hashira meeting.
Sanemi checked that his wound had stopped bleeding completely, not wanting the blood to show on his white haori, before heading to the meeting.
He was the last to arrive, which was unusual for the wind hashira. He was still lightheaded, but it had gotten better. It must’ve been hunger. He sat down, and waited for the master to arrive.
Only 5 hashira were able to attend, with Tengen, Gyomei, and Mitsuri all being out on missions of their own. Shinobu had been too busy at the butterfly mansion to go on any missions recently, so she wouldn’t be much help either. Sure the mansion could function without her, but when injuries were high they tried to keep her out of the field as much as possible.
The meeting was a blur. Sanemi was barely able to focus for most of it. Obanai and Muichirou were sent to assist some other demon slayers, who apparently overestimated their abilities. Honestly it would be easier to just send a hashira in the first place, but the corps seemed to be running low on those since the death of Rengoku.
Obanai and Muichirou were dismissed early, while Sanemi and Giyuu were told to be on stand-by in case they needed any more backup. With how the lower ranked demon slayers described it, they could be dealing with one of the upper moons.
Sanemi was sure they were exaggerating. The lower ranks tended to do that, but the master wanted to play it safe.
When the meeting was finally over Shinobu rushed to leave. Something about the butterfly mansion being very busy. Sanemi couldn’t care less.
When he finally stood up everything went dark again. He tried to grab the wall to balance himself, but ended up hitting his wrist, causing the normally combative hashira to wince and almost curl in on himself as his hand shot back to his chest.
Of course Giyuu was still here and of course he noticed. Fucking perfect.
The water hashira had quickly gone over to assist Sanemi, fortunately for Sanemi he had been able to mostly steady himself before Giyuu reached him.
“Are you alright?”
Slight concern laced Giyuu’s tone.
“I’m fine, get off me!”
Sanemi’s tone was sharp. He didn’t need anyone pitying him, he was fine. His head ached when he yelled, and the lightheadedness was returning.
“Shinazugawa you're bleeding”
Giyuu grabbed his hand. It was wet with blood. How had he not noticed? Sanemi tried to pull his hand away, but it was no use. His arm felt weak and heavy, and Giyuu’s grip was too strong.
“Let me help you clean it up. You’re going to get blood everywhere”
“Screw off I’m fine, I don’t need your help”
“If you don’t want me to help you I could get Shinobu, she shouldn’t be that far, She’d also probably do a better job-”
Giyuu was cut off by Sanemi’s grunts. Giyuu was stubborn, or maybe he was just too stupid to pick up on the fact that Sanemi didn’t want anyone's help. Either way he showed no signs of giving up and letting Sanemi deal with it on his own.
“Fine you can help, but make it quick”
Giyuu pulled up Sanemi’s sleeve, earning a hiss from Sanemi as the rough cloth of his uniform brushed the open wound.
“I can stop the bleeding here, but then you should really go to the butterfly mansion, you definitely need stitches”
“I’m not going to the butterfly mansion. They’re busy enough as it is, and like I said I’m fine”
Giyuu grabbed a cloth he had in his uniform. Every hashira knew enough to keep at least some medical supplies on them at all times. Getting injured was a big part of the job after all.
“The only reason I’m even letting you do this is so you’ll leave me alone”
Sanemi’s words were harsh, but Giyuu paid them no mind.
“If you won’t go to the butterfly mansion at least come back to my estate, so I can disinfect, and bandage it”
“Absolutly not. I don’t need your help”
“We have to be on stand by in case Tokito and Iguro need our help, and if the master finds out you're injured like this he will send you to the butterfly mansion, and won’t let you go on any missions.”
Sanemi knew it was true. The master was always strict about getting injuries treated, and with how busy the butterfly mansion is Sanemi doubts it would be a quick visit.
On top of that it was getting hard to argue. Sanemi’s lightheadedness was catching up to him. He should really sit down.
“Besides, we can’t afford to be down any more hashira right now.”
“Fine, but you’re just going to patch me up quickly then I’m leaving”
It was a lot easier to be mad at someone when you didn’t agree with them. Fuck, why did Giyuu have to be so reasonable right now.
“Just stop the bleeding, and I’ll be fine, I’ll get someone from my estate to stitch me up, but I am not going to the butterfly mansion.”
The towel Giyuu was holding to Sanemi’s wrist was starting to bleed through.
“Shit Shinazugawa this is a lot of blood, and you don’t look good”
Sanemi looked down at the now red towel. That is a lot of blood isn’t it? I guess he did go deeper this time.
Sanemi’s face was pale, and he was starting to sway.
“Shinazugawa you really need help”
Sanemi just brushed him off. He grabbed the towel out of Giyuu’s hand, and pulled away. He tried to storm off, to go anywhere but here. He couldn’t stand Giyuu seeing him like this.
Sanemi didn’t make it far. He tried walking down the stairs before tripping. The sudden jerk of his body made his vision black out. He managed to hear Giyuu calling out his name before succumbing to the darkness.
It was strange and terrifying seeing Sanemi, the wind harshira, the guy who made it seem like he could handle anything, fall down the stairs and faint, but Giyuu knew that he lost a lot of blood.
Giyuu quickly rushed to Sanemi’s side putting pressure back on his wound. He picked up the larger man, and began heading to the butterfly mansion. Sanemi would hate him for it, but Giyuu didn’t know what else to do. It was fine Sanemi hated him already, this wouldn’t change anything anyways.
Thankfully the butterfly mansion was close. By the time Giyuu got there Sanemi was starting to stir. This was not going to be easy if he woke up.
When he got inside a young girl approached him. She was short with black pigtails, but Giyuu didn’t want to waste any time.
“I need Kocho”
“She’s really busy right now maybe I can help”
The little girl clearly wanted to deal with this as quickly as possible.
“I need Kocho now, tell her Shinazugawa is hurt”
There was urgency in Giyuu’s voice. He only trusted Shinobu to deal with Sanemi. He was a particularly difficult case when it came to being treated, and maybe a little part of Giyuu was almost protective over him.
“Fine”
The young girl clearly only gave in so she could get back to her work faster.
“Set him down in here, and keep pressure on his wounds”
Giyuu set Sanemi down on the bed, his arms grateful to have a break. He continued to hold pressure on his wrist, but the towel had already soaked through. He hoped Shinobu would come and get new ones soon.
Giyuu never understood why they insisted on white sheets, all the blood they see daily would surely ruin them.
It only took about 2 minutes for Shinobu to show up. She took one glance at the boys before getting to work.
“How long has he been bleeding?”
“I don’t know, I noticed it right after you left the hashira meeting. He hit his wrist, I think he reopened an old wound”
“Ok here put new towels on his wrist while I grab my supplies”
Giyuu changed the towels, discarding the red one to the side. The brief look he got at Sanemi’s wrist was enough for him.
When Shinobu came back she had lots of supplies.
“Let me see his wrist”
Giyuu carefully lifted the towel. Sanemi groaned at the movement. He was starting to wake up. Shinobu didn’t try to hide the concern on her face.
“This is an anesthetic, he’s definitely going to need stitches”
It was weird seeing Shinobu like this, she wasn’t her usual teasing self. Giyuu knew now that he wasn’t overreacting bringing Sanemi here.
She got to work cleaning and stitching his wounds.
When she was done the only sign of what happened was the white bandage on Sanemi’s arm and the bloody towels thrown to the side.
“He should be ok now. I would never normally do this, but are you able to keep him in your estate? We need the beds, and I trust that you can take care of him”
Giyuu was shocked at the request.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’ll write down some instructions for you, and if he seems lightheaded at all or his wound opens back up I want you to bring him back immediately”
“Ok”
“You’ll take care of him?”
“Yes”
Giyuu wasn’t really sure why he agreed. Sanemi would hate Giyuu looking after him, but Sanemi couldn’t be that difficult right?
When Sanemi woke up his mind was still foggy, but he knew he definitely wasn’t at his estate. Although he had no idea how he got here, wherever here was.
He sat up, his head throbbing, as he noticed the bandage on his wrist. The memories slowly coming back. The ones of him cutting, the cut opening, his talk with Giyuu, everything. God he wished he could just forget it all, pretend it never happened.
He looked down at his wrist again. Either Giyuu’s bandaging skills got a lot better, or someone else did this. The only other person he could think of was Shinobu, but she was at the butterfly mansion and this was definitely not the butterfly mansion.
There were clean clothes beside the bed, and a glass of water. Sanemi got up to look around the room and try to figure out where the hell he ended up. Honestly it didn’t look that different from his estate.
The door to his room creaked open as Giyuu walked through, not looking up from the paper in his hands.
“Tomioka? Where the hell am I?”
This got Giyuu’s attention.
“Oh you’re awake, that’s good. You’re at my estate”
“Why the hell am I at your estate?”
“Because Shinobu didn’t have room at the butterfly mansion”
So he was taken to the butterfly mansion.
“Why the hell would you take me there I said I was fine”
“You talk a lot”
Giyuu started moving further into the room, clearly growing impatient at Sanemi’s questions.
“You fainted so clearly you weren’t fine”
He passed out? Is that why he doesn’t remember anything? Pathetic. He was supposed to be the wind hashira, and he got taken out by a cut. One he did to himself too. It was embarrassing, and to make it worse Giyuu was the one to help him.
“Just leave me alone, I’m fine now”
“Shinobu asked me to take care of your wounds because she knew you wouldn’t”
As he was saying this Giyuu sat down beside Sanemi with new bandages, water and a towel.
“Give me your wrist”
“Fuck off”
“If you don’t co-operate I’ll just send you back to Shinobu, tell her this was a bad idea”
“Whatever”
Sanemi reluctantly handed over his bandaged arm. Giyuu slowly took off the bandage looking at the stitches. There was a bit of dried blood, but it seemed to be holding well.
Giyuu took the towel and the warm water, and started gently cleaning the blood off the wound.
“I can do that myself you know”
“It’s easier if I do it”
“Just because I got a small cut doesn’t mean I’m not capable of taking care of myself”
“I never said you weren’t capable. I just don’t trust that you would”
Sanemi let out a gruff sigh. He knew Giyuu was right, he wouldn’t take care of it. I mean if he wasn’t strong enough for it to heal on it’s own, maybe he wasn’t strong enough to be a hashira, maybe he deserved it for pretending he was, maybe it was payback for the pain he caused everyone that got close to him, maybe the scars would warn them to stay away.
Who knows. Who cares? All Sanemi knew was that he wasn’t going to stop.
“This is too clean to be from a demon, you did this to yourself again didn’t you?”
“So what, it’s just because of my blood remember, I’d be stupid not to use it”
Giyuu stopped what he was doing, and turned to look Sanemi in the eye. It was weird, Giyuu never looked people in the eye. It made Sanemi uncomfortable.
“Shinazugawa”
“Fucking what”
“You haven’t been on a mission in four days”
That caught Sanemi off guard. Why the fuck did Giyuu know when his last mission was? Why did Giyuu even care when his last mission was? Sanemi didn’t need to be monitored like some child.
“Why do you know when my last mission was? You stalking me, you freak?”
“I try to keep track of all the hashiras missions”
Giyuu finishes bandaging Sanemi’s wrist. It’s a little messy, but it will do, and it’s better than whatever Sanemi was planning to do. He cleaned up the medical supplies, and tried to not get Sanemi’s blood on anything, not that it mattered much anymore, these sheets needed to be washed anyways.
“You should get changed out of those bloody clothes. I left you some of mine, they should fit ok”
It was just a simple outfit, but it would work.
“I didn’t want to try changing your clothes while you were unconscious, so I just set them there”
“I would have killed you if you even tried”
Giyuu stood up from the bed ignoring Sanemi’s comment, he was used to his aggressive nature by now. Giyuu made his way to the door, stopping just before he left the room.
“Goodnight Shinazugawa. I don’t know why you did it just… don’t do it again”
For once in his life Sanemi didn’t have anything to say to Giyuu as he exited the room. Suddenly Sanemi was all alone again. He stared at his wrist, the bandages slightly messier than the ones Shinobu had done.
Sanemi doesn’t bother changing. He takes a second to stare at the bandages before undoing them, and staring at the careful stitches in his skin.
He wastes no time finding his sword and cutting the stitches off one by one. It didn’t take long for small droplets of blood to form at the surface. Sanemi almost smiled at the sight.
He quickly checked around to make sure he had all of his belongings before carefully opening the door he saw Giyuu walk out of moments ago. He somehow managed to get out of the building on his own without anyone seeing him.
He didn’t need anyone taking care of him, sure Giyuu and Shinobu would be pissed, but Sanemi wanted to be back at his own estate where he didn’t constantly feel like he was being watched.
Sanemi only managed to get a few steps outside before a familiar, annoying, voice called after him.
“Shinazugawa”
Sanemi didn’t stop moving. Maybe Giyuu would get the hint and leave him alone.
He didn’t get the hint.
“Shinazugawa stop”
Giyuu finally caught up, grabbing Sanemi’s shoulder, and rooting him in place. Sanemi spun around full of anger. Why couldn’t Giyuu just leave him alone?
“Let me see your arm”
“What”
Sanemi was still seething. It was taking everything in him to not punch Giyuu in the face. How could someone manage to piss him off so easily?
“Let me see your arm Shinazugawa”
“I heard you. Why the fuck do you need to see my arm? You just checked it, and it’s fine. Now leave me the fuck alone I’m going back to my estate”
“For fucks sake”
Sanemi barely had time to react before Giyuu reached out and pulled up his sleeve.
“I knew it. Shinobu warned me that you might do this. The butterfly mansion has enough to deal with right now. Why can’t you just accept my help?”
“Screw you Tomioka, I don’t need your pity”
“Who said I pity you? I’m trying to help you”
“I already know you think you’re better than me hell you think you’re better than all the hashira, but I’m not weak enough that I need you to take care of me”
“Is that what you think, that I think I'm better than you, that I think you’re weak?”
“For fucks sake i’ve heard you ‘I’m not like you speeches’”
“Because I’m not you’re all real hashira, I'm not. You’re amazing”
“What”
“You’re a great hashira, Shinazugawa”
“No not that, what the fuck do you mean you’re not a real hashira?”
“I’m not a real hashira… I didn’t pass final selection”
“So fucking what”
Giyuu finally looked up at Sanemi.
“You’re still a great hashira who gives a fuck about final selection. You’re alive aren’t you? Good enough for me”
“Then why won’t you let me help you? If you don’t think I’m below you then what is it?”
“God Giyuu, why do you care so much? It’s none of your business”
“Because I care about you. Is that so hard to comprehend?”
To say Sanemi was shocked was an understatement. He thought Giyuu hated him as much as he hated Giyuu. What the fuck does he mean he cares about Sanemi? Giyuu never makes any fucking sense.
Giyuu let out a long sigh. They were just going in circles.
“Just please come inside”
It was getting really dark, it would be hard for Sanemi to make it back to his estate at this hour. Maybe he could stay one night then leave immediately in the morning.
“Fine”
Giyuu was surprised Sanemi agreed so easily.
They both started walking back inside, Giyuu keeping a close eye on Sanemi to make sure he didn’t try to make a run for it, but he never did.
Once they got inside Giyuu got Sanemi to finally change out of his bloody uniform, and sat him on the bed. Giyuu sat beside him pulling Sanemi’s wrist into his lap.
“It’s too late to go to the butterfly mansion, so I’m going to stitch this back up myself”
“Don’t bother it’s fine”
“Shinazugawa, I’m going to stitch it back up, and you’re going to leave these stitches in this time”
“Fucking whatever”
Giyuu was stubborn, even Sanemi could acknowledge that, and he didn’t have the energy to fight with Giyuu about this right now.
Giyuu got to work trying to be gentle, but it didn’t stop the hiss that escaped Sanemi’s lips as the needle pierced his skin. It was pathetic really, how could Sanemi handle cutting himself so deep he almost bled out, but he couldn’t handle stitches.
“Why won’t you let your wounds heal properly?”
Sanemi stayed silent. He didn’t know what to say.
“What are you trying to prove by injuring yourself? That you can take it? Everyone knows you can handle yourself Sanemi, you don’t have to do this”
“Maybe I deserve it, did you ever think about that?”
Sanemi regretted what he said as soon as he heard the words leave his mouth. He knew how he sounded, pathetic and weak. No one strong would ever show their weaker emotions like this, put their flaws on display. How would Giyuu ever think he was a good hashira again, after finding out that Sanemi did deserve it?
How could Giyuu ever think he was a good hashira again, after finding out why he deserved it?
Giyuu froze at those words, stitches still unfinished.
“Why would you deserve this?”
“Stop pretending to know me Tomioka, you know nothing about me”
If Giyuu didn’t know any better he would say Sanemi was trembling.
“If I can’t handle some small cut how the hell am I supposed to call myself a hashira?”
“This wasn’t some small cut Sanemi. If I wasn’t there…”
Giyuu trailed off, unable to look at Sanemi as he finished his sentence.
“If I wasn’t there you would’ve let yourself die”
“I wouldn’t have let it go that far”
“I don’t believe you”
To be honest Sanemi didn’t know if he believed himself either.
He couldn’t look at Giyuu anymore. He felt so exposed. Sanemi hadn’t even noticed that Giyuu had resumed stitching his wrist till he started bandaging. All the pain was starting to blur together.
“Why are you doing this for me?”
The question came as a shock to both boys.
“Because I don’t believe you deserve this”
“But I’ve always been so mean to you, you should hate me”
“I never hated you Sanemi, I wanted to be your friend”
“Fuck”
Another person Sanemi had hurt because he wasn’t good enough. Maybe it was best if everyone stayed away from him.
“You’re not a bad person Sanemi”
“How would you know?”
Giyuu hesitated for a second before grabbing Sanemi’s hands and bringing them to his chest.
“Because I do know you, I know you're rough and mean on the outside, but you care about people. You wouldn’t be a hashira if you didn’t”
Sanemi was desperately trying to maintain his tough exterior, but it was no use. One tear slipped through, then another, and soon he was full on crying.
Sanemi thought Giyuu would be disgusted. He wasn’t the strong hashira Giyuu wanted to be friends with, but Giyuu didn’t turn away. He actually pulled Sanemi closer till his head was resting against his chest.
Giyuu could see the shame and hurt radiating from Sanemi as he cried, but it didn’t matter. This was still the same Sanemi he had always known. Still one of the strongest hashira, and no matter how much Sanemi would deny it, a good person.
“I need you to know you don’t deserve this”
When Sanemi had mostly composed himself he managed to look up at Giyuu. There was no disgust like he expected, just compassion.
Before Sanemi could think it through he grabbed Giyuu’s chin and pulled him into a kiss. It only lasted a second before Sanemi pulled away.
What the hell did he think he was doing?
Sanemi started stammering over his words, his first instinct to pull away and apologize, but before he was able to get the words out Giyuu grabbed his face and pulled him back.
It was only a quick gentle kiss, but when they pulled away both boys looked like they were in a state of complete bliss.
“You know you should really stay away from me. I can’t be good for you”
“I’m here and I’m not planning on leaving anytime soon”
“Even if-”
“Always, I’m here for all of you Sanemi not just the nice parts”
“Thank you Giyuu”