Chapter Text
School had been a bit nerve-wracking that day.
Not because of the coursework (with all the studying she did it was fairly easy) or the other students (if she was quiet they didn't go near her), but because it was the first time in two weeks she'd felt alone.
April was out with food poisoning ("NEVER eat anything Donnie cooks," she'd warned Elsa over the phone), meaning that Elsa would have to go back to the lair alone for the first time since meeting the Hamatos.
As the math teacher wrapped up the lesson (geometry was the last class of the day), Elsa took a deep breath.
It didn't matter if April wasn't there; she'd befriended Leo and Mikey, Raphael was... okay with her, Master Splinter never left the TV room and Donatello never left his lab. She'd be okay in the lair without her.
Everything would be fine.
- - - -
She was fine until she got into the lair. Rather than hearing a few teenage voices (they were VERY loud for ninjas), she found a note taped to the wall as she walked in. "To Elsa" was written on it in an orange sparkly marker.
Taking it down, she read it.
"Elsa, Donnie's cameras saw Meat Sweats trying to rob a food bank in the Bronx. We can handle it, but we've dealt with the pig before and it'll probably take a while. Make yourself comfy, and we'll be back in a few hours!"
The note was signed by Mikey (though the fact that it was covered in orange doodles gave away who the writer was long before that).
"Meat Sweats?" She asked aloud, wrinkling her nose a little at the name.
While she was upset that she wouldn't be spending time with Mikey or Leo, she was relieved that there wouldn't be any awkward silence between her and Raphael (or any of Donatello's random, searching glares).
She'd done her homework in study hall, so she was left without much to do. She was debating just pulling a book from her bag and reading when she heard a noise from the TV room.
"I'll get you, Boss Level!"
"...What?"
Too curious to ignore it, she followed the noises and found herself in the TV room.
Master Splinter, a look of determined glee on his face, was focused on the TV. Some eighties video game was playing (the poor graphics were a dead giveaway of its age), and the rat mutant's fingers were flying across the controller.
The TV gave several victorious beeps, triggering a cheer from Splinter... who only then noticed Elsa watching him.
They stared for a moment before he cleared his throat.
"The boys gave me this a while ago," he explained. "'Hot Soup: The Game'. It's my first time beating the boss level..."
"...There's a whole game about making soup?" Elsa asked, her confusion obvious.
He gave her an incredulous look. "It's Lou Jitsu's catchphrase."
"...Who?"
Now he looked offended. "You've never seen a Lou Jitsu movie?"
Her heart sped up. Bad things happened when adults got mad.
"No, no, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."
Maybe if she booked it to Mikey or Leo's room, she could hide until he calmed down...
It was Splinter's turn to look startled.
"What are you apologizing for? I'm not mad, just... surprised."
He... He wasn't mad?
She slowly relaxed.
Splinter cleared his throat, and switched the TV (which she realized was more of a heavily-modified projector) to a different setting. Then he got off his chair and went to a shelf. She noticed that it was full of DVDs and old VHS tapes.
"My sons and I have a similar taste in movies... Well, their favorite movies are Jupiter Jim, but my favorite is their second-favorite."
"Let me guess: Lou Jitsu?"
He nodded, pulling out one of the older-looking tapes.
"This is my first, so why don't we start with this one?"
"You mean it's the first Lou Jitsu movie you watched?"
"...Didn't April tell you?"
"...Tell me what?"
He paused, then took a breath.
"Did April tell you I used to be human?"
"Yes," Elsa nodded, wondering where this was going. "She said your real name is Hamato Yoshi."
"That is true," he admitted. "But over thirty years ago, when I first came to the U.S., I had a career as an action film star."
Her eyes went wide as she connected the dots.
"You're Lou Jitsu?"
"I am... Or, I was." He sighed. "It took me a long time to accept that the life I once had is over, and I sometimes still miss it. But I've finally made peace with my life now; I have my sons, April, and our home. That's all I need now."
He turned around and put the VHS in the VCR. "Sit down anywhere. I'm doing you a favor by letting you watch one of the films without my sons here; the next time you watch a film with them, they'll talk over each other trying to explain it to you."
"Not ones to let someone sit and enjoy a movie, huh?"
"That's putting it lightly. Mark my words, the first time you watch a movie with them, Blue will describe the plot in excessive detail and say the one-liners at the same time as the actors, Orange will start jumping on the furniture during the action scenes, Red will hug the nearest person during the intense parts, and Purple will either describe the special effects in detail or be on his phone the whole time."
He sighed and shook his head (though she could see the fondness in it).
As the previews played, Splinter sighed again.
"Frankly, it's a miracle we can still watch these films at all. The Shredder's destruction of our first lair cost us several belongings, including one of the films."
"Which one?"
"Hawaiian Hot Soup. It was filmed on location. It's not the best of my movies, in fact it had the lowest ratings of any of them. But it was filmed on location, and it was my first time in Hawaii. I loved it more for the memories than the film itself."
She nodded.
The film itself began. At first, she couldn't pay attention to the plot: she was too caught up in trying to figure out how Lou Jitsu and Master Splinter were one and the same. Appearance wise, they couldn't be more different (especially with the over-the-top eighties hairstyle Lou Jitsu had). But upon comparing their voices, she realized that they sounded a lot alike.
All in all, the film was pretty good.
When it finished, she gave it a short round of applause. Splinter had a humble smile on his face.
"Thank you, but that was hardly my best film. My best movies came a few years later..."
"Could I ask you something?"
"You just did. But go on."
"If you loved being a movie star so much, why'd you stop?"
He froze, and let out a very deep sigh.
"In the end, it wasn't my choice. My movie career lasted about ten years. When I was in my late twenties, I met a woman. We dated for about three years... I was in love with her. Madly in love. After the release of what turned out to be my final movie, I planned on proposing to her... And she kidnapped me."
Elsa gasped, eyes widening.
"It turned out that she was a yokai... specifically a jorogumo."
"What's a jorogumo?"
"A Japanese spider demon. They appear as beautiful women to lure people to them, only revealing their true form once they've captured them. That's what Big Mama did to me..."
"Leo told me about her. He said she owned a hotel and a gladiator ring."
"The hotel is just a front for her dealings in the Hidden City. She leads a criminal empire, and isn't afraid to hurt, abduct, or kill whoever she has to so long as she gets what she wants. The Battle Nexus is her biggest source of business: she hires, coerces, or kidnaps the strongest fighters she can find and forces them to fight to the death for the entertainment of the crowd. Most of the time, she uses yokai... but other times, she becomes interested in human fighters..."
He trailed off, staring at the now blank TV.
"Master Splinter?" She asked, tentatively. "It's okay, you don't have to--"
"She kept me there for ten years. Every day, I was only brought out to fight for the entertainment of others... and if I lost, I died."
"How'd you escape?"
"Technically, I didn't. Baron Draxum got me out."
"The mad scientist yokai?"
"The same. He needed a strong human test subject for his experiment. When he heard about Big Mama's powerful human champion, he decided I was exactly what he needed. He took me right from my cell... and I was grateful."
He shook his head. "At least I was, until I learned what he needed me for. He used my DNA to create the Turtles, intending to raise them as his super soldiers. The first of an army that he'd use to wipe out humanity... I couldn't let that happen to them. So I broke out, set the lab on fire, and escaped, the Turtles in my arms."
He gave a rueful laugh. "On the way out, a rat I was trying to save bit me. Seconds later I got blasted with mutagen. Hence why I look like this."
Elsa let out a breath. "Wow... I... I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry all of that happened to you."
"It was thirteen years ago... almost fourteen, now, with Red's birthday coming up..." He shook his head. "I've finally moved on. Besides, Orange was right about Draxum. He has been making a lot of progress in the last few months. Granted, he and I aren't exactly friends, but we have... an understanding. He's accepted his role as a parent to the Turtles, even if only two of them are willing to trust him."
Elsa nodded, still in shock at everything poor Splinter had gone through. It made some of the punishments she'd gotten in her life seem mild...
Voices started coming from the tunnels.
"Based on how far you threw him into the sea and his trajectory, I'd say he landed somewhere near Ellis Island. And, according to the traffic cameras, the police already recovered the crates of stolen food. They're being returned to the food bank as we speak."
"Good, Raph doesn't want to think about those poor people goin' without food. I know how I feel when I miss a meal."
"I still can't believe I managed to throw him like a skipping stone! I got twenty skips!"
"Yep, another successful mission. Guess you can say Meat Sweats didn't bring home the bacon."
There were several groans.
"The peace was nice while it lasted," Splinter commented as he turned around in his chair and shouted in the Turtles' direction. "In here, boys!"
They all filed into the TV room, looking surprised to see Elsa. Mikey and Leo instantly sat on either side of the couch, sandwiching her between them. Raphael still looked a little unsure, but he gave her a tentative smile before sitting down. Donatello gave her an unreadable look before he took the seat closest to his father and furthest from her.
Master Splinter chose that moment to tell the Turtles that Elsa had just watched her first Lou Jitsu movie, and hadn't seen any of the others. The four of them were shocked and immediately started bickering over which film to show her (finally settling on one of their collective favorites). As the rat had predicted, Leo quoted all of Lou Jitsu's one liners, Mikey started rocking on the couch during a motorcycle chase scene, Raphael hugged Mikey during a rather scary fight scene (not letting go until it was over), and Donatello spent most of the film on his phone (except to point out how the villain's anti-martial arts weapon wasn't scientifically possible).
When it was time to go home, Elsa got a text from April saying she'd need another day to recover before she could come to the lair again. She texted back, telling her to get all the rest she needed. The idea of going to the lair alone didn't scare her anymore.
- - - -
The next morning, Splinter was digging through his box of movies when he gasped for joy. Sitting near the top of the box was a vintage copy of Hawaiian Hot Soup! He wondered where it had come from... before remembering that Purple had mentioned going to the old lair to see if there was anything he could salvage. He must have found the film in the wreckage and cleaned it up.