Chapter Text
Day 00 10:30 AM
“You’ve reached Buck’s phone leave a message after the beep.”
“Buck this better not be a surprise going away party you have me coming to the station for. I just want it to be lowkey. Just us. Just Family. Buck…”
The ground beneath Eddie’s feet began to rumble. In front of him Buck is flying forward on the line Ravi had just safely cleared. Behind him a plume of thick black smoke and fire is chasing him. “Buck!” Before the final letter of Buck’s name is out of Eddie’s mouth the line holding his best friend goes limp. The line makes a snapping sound that leaves a ringing in Eddie’s ear. He lunged forward trying to gasp for the damn noodle of a rope.
“Eddie! Don’t!” Ravi yelled his body slamming into Eddie’s a moment later.
Eddie pounded his fist into the ground listening to the sound of rubble hitting the ground at the base of the parking garage, knowing his best friend was among it. A shout ripped through him, so loud he almost couldn’t believe that it had come from him. He rolled over forcefully shoving Ravi off of him. “What the fuck Ravi?” He scrambled to his feet. He flew to the edge of the garage surveying the smoking pile of debris.
“That line could have cut you in half,” Ravi grunted.
“We’ve gotta get down there and find him,” Eddie commanded, slapping his hands down onto the concrete siding.
“For what?” Ravi sighed, eyeing the ground below. “He isn’t going to be–” Eddie grabbed him by the shoulder, squeezing too hard. He took a breath through his nose loosening his grip on Ravi’s shoulder.
“Shut. Up.” Eddie shouldered past Ravi. “We don’t leave anyone behind.” He ran down the stairs skipping as many as he can without face planting into the concrete. When he shoved open the exit door to the stairwell he had the wind knocked out of him. Everything was ten times louder on the ground level. There were about six stations on location; dozens of firefighters were assisting the steady stream of people from the apartment building. It didn’t seem like anyone was aware that one of their own had just been buried alive. Eddie spotted Hen first. “Hen!”
Hen turned a slightly relieved look crossing her face at the sight of him. But it quickly morphed into one of concern as she seemed to notice whatever distressed look Eddie had on his face. “What happened?”
“It’s Buck, he was coming across the gap in the buildings as another blast went,” Eddie explained. He hadn’t stopped running toward the newest pile of debris, just grabbed Hen and started dragging her over to where he hoped Buck was. “His line snapped and he-he fell.” He swallowed roughly.
“What?” Hen shrieked. She grabbed her radio on her shoulder jamming down the button before hurriedly barking into the device about a firefighter down. There is an all out rush to get to the location they believed Buck would have landed.
“We need something to lift all these pieces of concrete,” Eddie told an approaching crew. There were three massive slabs of concrete resting on the top of the pile. “Buck! We’re coming to get you.” Eddie accepted a halligan from someone.
“Firefighter Buckley! Call out so we can pinpoint your location!” Chimney who appeared out of nowhere called down the pile of rubble. Everyone quieted listening for any sort of noise. There is no response. Chimney glanced over at Eddie, something passing across his face.
“Buck!” Eddie screamed, jabbing the halligan underneath a piece of the building leveraging it to slide down the side of the pile. Again, there was nothing. He can feel bile rising in his throat. Desperation clawing up from somewhere deep within him. He needed to find Buck. He needed to bring him home. He could not lose him. He would never recover.
“I got him! I got him!” Hen shouted from the other side of the pile. “I need a neck brace and a backboard!” She ordered.
Eddie’s feet slid down the concrete mess sending little bits of stuff going down with it. He nearly flung forward into a concrete pillar with how much momentum he was gaining. He sprinted over to the opposite side where he found Hen, and a couple of other firefighters lifting a slab off of a prone Buck. There was a significant amount of blood coming from a wound underneath his helmet.
“Buck? Come on Buckaroo, talk to me.” Hen requested as frantic hands worked to secure him to a backboard.
A low groan rumbled from somewhere inside Buck. It was short lived relief as they got a heart monitor hooked up to his chest as all his vitals were bottoming out.
“He’s crashing,” Chimney announced, leaning over Buck to grab something out of the medic bag.
Eddie’s breathing stuttered. He shoved his fingers into his hair pulling so hard he could feel a sting at the base of his neck. His heart was pounding in his ears. He was starting to lose feeling in his feet. The ground beneath his feet was unsteady as it was what he did not need was his knees to turn to jelly at this precise moment.
“Eddie! You’re with me,” Hen said over her shoulder as they brought him carefully down the side of the rubble. He climbed into the back of the bus with Hen while Chimney climbed into the driver seat. Eddie glanced out the back of the bus seeing the crowd of firefighters standing watching as they pulled away.
Hen never stopped moving the whole way to the hospital. Securing IVs, double and triple checking his vitals. He was stable but walking the line. They needed to be at the hospital right now. Eddie’s knee bounced as she watched Hen work. There was no way he was going to be any help to her in his state. As they’re nearing the hospital Buck’s eyes blow wide, opening them for the first time since they’d pulled him from the rubble. His arms are strapped down to the back board but he immediately starts fighting against the straps.
“Eddie! You need to calm him down.” Hen frantically leaned over Buck rooting through one of the storage cabinets along the wall. “He’s gonna pull an IV.”
“Buck.” Eddie leaned over him trying to catch his gaze.
Buck’s eyes were searching wildly but Eddie could tell that he wasn’t processing anything.
Eddie felt helpless, he wasn’t sure how to get him to calm down. Buck’s hands were still fighting the straps. “It’s okay.” Eddie grabbed onto Buck’s hand squeezing as tightly as his shaking hands could manage. He can feel him squeeze back instantaneously, his eyes settling on Eddie’s. “We’ve got you,” Eddie reassured him. “I’ve got you.”
“Pulling up!” Chim screamed from the front cab.
A moment later the doors were being pulled open. Hen hopped out of the ambulance grabbing the edge of the stretcher starting to pull Buck out. The grip on Eddie’s hand got tighter. Buck’s wild eyes stayed glued to him as he clamored out of the bus with them. He could vaguely hear Hen and Chimney giving the doctors a rundown of injuries including severe head trauma and likely internal bleeding.
“We’ll take it from here.” One of the doctors told the group. Buck made a strangled noise as they started to pull him toward the emergency room entrance. Eddie jogged alongside the stretcher. “Sir, we’ve got him. I promise your partner is going to be okay.” Her tone is reassuring but Eddie still doesn’t want to let go. Eddie felt a hand on his shoulder turning to find Hen giving him an imploring look. He reluctantly let go of Buck’s hand watching as they wheeled him out of sight.
“Agh!” Eddie swung at the side of the ambulance. The sound of his fist striking the metal reverberated in the area around them. “I should have gotten there sooner.” He shook out his hand, his knuckles throbbing from the contact.
“We did everything we could,” Hen reassured him. Grabbing onto his shoulder attempting to pull him into a hug. He ducked out of her grip. “The rest is up to him.”
“What are his odds?” Eddie asked, his voice deadly.
Chimney and Hen shared a look.
“Right,” Eddie growled. He hit the side of the ambulance again, carding his hands through his hair. He needed to catch his breath. He needed a moment to think. Except the only thing that kept looping through his mind was that he was going to lose him. Eddie had been a medic long enough to know what the likely outcome for injuries like Buck’s were. “I can’t lose him. I can’t,” he shook his head. Tears stung the back of his eyeballs. He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes trying to force the tears back in. He needed to be strong.
******
Day 01 8:16 AM
“I don’t know why I’m calling like you’re going to answer. The doctor said that it’s a waiting game now. I need you to wake up Buck.”
Eddie stared at the screen of his phone staring at Buck’s contact like he’ll call back any second. Buck was always quick to call back. If he couldn’t answer right away he’d call back and if he couldn’t call back right away he’d send a text. Eddie wasn’t even sure where they had his phone since he was in the hospital. He wasn’t officially back with the department so he had the day to go to the hospital. Yet, he couldn’t bring himself to get off the edge of his, well Buck’s, bed. He’d slept in it last night since it was empty. The pillows smelled like Buck. The familiar scent wrapped around Eddie like he was there wrapping his arms around Eddie whispering he was okay over and over again. He’d tossed and turned for hours. The image of Buck plummeting toward the ground playing in his mind every time he tried to close his eyes.
“Dad?” Chris' voice comes from the front door, another voice accompanying him.
Eddie pressed the pads of his thumb and middle finger into the corner of his eyes. He hadn’t called Chris last night, he’d spent the night with Pepa after Eddie realized he was going to be waiting at the hospital for most of the night. He hadn’t ended up getting home until nearly three in the morning. He’d kept it brief with Pepa not wanting her or Chris to worry until they had more information about Buck’s condition.
“I’ll be out in a moment!” Eddie called down the hall. He scrubbed his sweaty hands down his legs. His gaze caught on a picture Buck had on top of his dresser. It was a picture of the three of them. Buck and Eddie with Chris squished between them. They had taken Chris camping. It was before Kim, before El Paso, before Tommy. It was one of the rare times that both him and Buck had been single. They needed a break from the city.
Eddie had talked about feeling like time was moving way too fast and realizing that Chris was a teenager now. Buck had been the one to suggest it, time away from outside distraction, where they could connect. Chris had been so excited to go, they’d had a blast. Eddie remembered his heart feeling two sizes too big in his chest like it was hard to breathe but in a good way. He would give anything to be back out there in the national park forest laughing around a campfire while eggs sizzled between them.
“Hey Bud.” Eddie immediately cringed at the way his voice shook as he greeted Chris and Pepa. Pepa was already eyeing him warily. He ruffled Chris’s hair feeling a heavy sense of relief to see his kid safe and sound in front of him.
“What happened?” Chris asked. His face etched with concern. It’s moments like this that Eddie where it strikes him just how old Christopher is. He was old enough now to read Eddie’s emotions, he’d learned that the hard way. He is also realizing that he had firefighters in his family long enough to know when something bad had happened on a shift.
“I’ll go make us some breakfast,” Pepa announced. She squeezed Chris’ shoulder looking over the top of his head at Eddie. Silently checking in with him. He didn’t need to say anything for her to know he wasn’t doing well.
“Let’s sit down,” Eddie offered, taking a step toward the couch.
“Dad, what happened?” Chris demanded, anger edging into his voice. He didn’t want to be babied or held with kid gloves that much was apparent to Eddie. But how was he supposed to tell his kid, who had just lost someone in his family less than a month ago, that his favorite person was lying in a hospital bed. “It’s Buck isn’t it?”
Eddie felt his shoulders slump almost immediately. He let out a shaky exhale watching Christopher’s expression with careful consideration for his next words. “Yes,” he confirmed with a solemn nod.
“Is he-” Chris’ voice shook. “Is he gone?”
Eddie rushed to his son shaking his head frantically as tears began to stream down Chris’ face. “No,” he hurried to tell him. “I’m not going to lie to you Chris, it’s very serious.” He wanted to prepare him without scaring him but that felt impossible. Eddie was scared out of his mind that Buck wouldn’t come back to them.
Chris’ shoulders relaxed a minuscule amount after learning that Buck was still alive. But his face was still pinched up with pain. No one understood that feeling better than Eddie right now. “Can we go see him?” He pleaded.
“Of course, bud.” Eddie stroked his curls. Even if the thought of seeing Buck lying in a hospital bed once again made his stomach go rancid. It felt similar to getting hit in the stomach with the physicality of his emotional turmoil. He felt nothing and everything. “First, we need to eat.” Really he just wanted to buy himself more time to prepare. To prepare to see the shell of his best friend in that hospital bed.
Christopher agreed slowly making his way to the kitchen where Pepa intercepted him for a kiss on the head and a squeeze around his shoulder. Eddie could use some of the right now. But first he had to collect himself. He needed to be at least a little held together for Chris. Maybe even for himself. He was confident in the fact that if he started crying now he wouldn’t stop until he didn’t have anything left in his body to give. He couldn’t fall apart now. Not yet. Falling apart meant admitting that Buck wasn’t coming back. Eddie wasn’t giving up on Buck. He would never give up on him.