Work Text:
It has hardly been more than thirty minutes since Wooyoung has sat down on the revolving chair in his desk and started to- no wait, scratch that- tried to start writing the next chapter for his novel. He has been trying to come up with a scene he is practically dying to write about but is constantly getting distracted by little baking videos on pinterest. He went there to find inspiration but it was not going anywhere. There is this urgent voice in his head telling him to shut that tab down and get back to work but he just cannot do that. It goes on like this for a few more minutes until there is a knock on the door to his office.
Wooyoung looks up to find Seonghwa peeking in through the little gap between the door and the doorframe.
"Hyung?" He asks. "Are you alri-"
In the span of a few seconds, Seonghwa quite literally rushes through the door and stands by the desk.
"-ght, yeah, no", Wooyoung finishes. Although hidden partially behind his bangs, Seonghwa's eyes seem to be a bit puffy. The room has dim lighting but Wooyoung can figure that seonghwa has been crying.
It is not something new after all. Wooyoung understands. There are days where Seonghwa refuses to leave the bed even when the clock hits one in the afternoon. Those are the days he needs to be taken extra care of. Because no matter how much he tries to get up, he just cannot seem to be able to do it other than lie there as he continues to feel useless and wet his pillow with tears.
Wooyoung knows this and he understands. When they started dating six months back, they had already been friends for years. He knew what he had to do to be able to keep this relationship from drowning, to keep it afloat. Any kind of relationship demands two-way communication, he knows that. He himself never lacks but Seonghwa does sometimes (and it is not his fault at all). So Wooyoung has learned (still learning, actually) to be patient even though he struggles. He waits till Seonghwa is okay enough to talk about his struggles because he knows his boyfriend will be alright and be back to him.
"You're not al-" Seonghwa all but jumps onto him and Wooyoung feels arms circle around his neck as harsh sobs wrack through Seonghwa's body. Soon Wooyoung feels cold tears soak the skin of his neck. "-right. Alright. Shh, shh, it's okay, hyung. It's okay. I'm here", he soothes in a quiet voice. He backs away from his desk a little and tries to get Seonghwa to sit on his lap by putting his hands on Seonghwa's waist. Seonghwa complies.
There. He'll be a little comfortable like this at least.
With Seonghwa settled safely on his lap, Wooyoung hugs him and pulls him as close as he can without it being suffocating. He notices Seonghwa's sobs getting louder as he cries even harder. Wooyoung panics. Because no matter how calm he wants to be for his boyfriend, he cannot. A bitter uneasiness starts to take root in the pit of his stomach.
"Uh, Seonghwa hyung? W-what's wrong? You're crying pretty hard....." he stutters a little and hopes Seonghwa does not notice because he wants to be the person to give Seonghwa strength when he needs it. He does not want to chicken out right when Seonghwa needs him the most.
Seonghwa does not answer. Instead, he holds onto Wooyoung a little tighter and continues crying.
Feeling helpless, Wooyoung decides to just stop talking. He rubs soothing circles on Seonghwa's back and leaves occasional kisses on his temple and hopes that Seonghwa calms down soon.
A minute or so after Seonghwa finally calms down. He seems to have stopped crying. Probably. Wooyoung cannot tell, really. But he is sure that Seonghwa has definitely calmed down. He can hear occasional sniffling but that is all. Wooyoung realizes his own heart is beating rapidly. He always gets nervous in times like this and does not know what to do.
So he clears his throat and tries to take a look at Seonghwa but as soon as he goes to turn his head around, Seonghwa buries his face further into his neck.
And Wooyoung hates himself. He hates himself because a little chuckle escapes him. Well, in his defense, he is very ticklish around his neck area. But now he is fucking scared because Seonghwa must be thinking that he is laughing at him.
"Fuck, no- okay. Um, I'm sorry. I'm not laughing at you. I'm just ticklish and-"
"I know, young-ah."
It is the first time Wooyoung hears Seonghwa talk since last night when they wished each other a goodnight. When he woke up in the morning to get ready for his meeting with his editor, Seonghwa was still in bed. Considering he is an early bird, Wooyoung knew it was going to be one of those days. He was reluctant to go out then but he had postponed this meeting for too long. He had to go today.
Seonghwa's voice is hoarse from all the crying throughout the day and just thinking about him being alone and Wooyoung not being there to give at least a bit of comfort, makes Wooyoung's heart ache painfully.
He rubs a few more circles on Seonghwa's back, sighs, and tries another time.
"Can I see you, hyung?"
It takes a moment but soon Seonghwa is sitting up from his slumped position on Wooyoung. His head hangs low. One of his hands comes up to wipe under his eyes and falls on his lap afterwards. He sighs.
Wooyoung removes his arms from around Seonghwa's waist and holds Seonghwa's face with both his hands.
"Look at me?"
Seonghwa does and Wooyoung feels like crying. He hates to see Seonghwa like this. Other days, when depression is not trying to strangle him to death, Seonghwa is the happiest and most cheerful and beautiful person Wooyoung has ever laid his eyes on. Not that he is not beautiful now. But this beauty.... Wooyoung cannot handle it. Seonghwa's face looks like his life has been drained out of him. Fuck this depression bitch. If Wooyoung could get this bitch to just leave-
"What happened?" He asks Seonghwa. He speaks in an extremely soft voice and hopes it gives Seonghwa some comfort.
Seonghwa just shrugs. Wooyoung gets the message.
"Okay. We'll talk when you feel ready to talk about it. And noooow" he removes the fringes that cover Seonghwa's forehead out of his eyes, wipes a stray tear that has escaped just then and hugs Seonghwa again. "-now I'm just gonna keep hugging you and not move an inch from this place. Yep." He thinks he speaks for the both of them (he is like, a thousand percent sure) but then Seonghwa speaks again.
"I haven't cooked dinner though...."
"Nuh uh," and Wooyoung is pulling Seonghwa away to look him right in the eye. "You're not gonna cook now. It's not something you absolutely have to do. You're no housewife. Oh and, I don't mean it in a bad way of course. Like- not that I'm trying to look down on housewives because that's a tough job. I-I can't even imagine how hard it is! I'm just saying that-"
"Okay, okay", for the first time that day, Wooyoung sees Seonghwa, his gorgeous lovely Seonghwa hyung, smile, truly smile, and his heart feels relieved. "I understand, you dork."
Wooyoung smiles too. "Yeah. So what I'm saying is that you don't have to cook dinner. I can do it. Or we can choose to not cook at all tonight!"
Seonghwa narrows his eyes at him. "You're not eating fast food", he deadpans.
"Aw come on!" Wooyoung all but whines (and maybe kicks his feet a bit too). There is a fond look on Seonghwa's face. Wooyoung's loverboy heart does a little flip and screams a tiny 'yay!' at that.
"What?" Seonghwa chuckles. "You eat too much unhealthy food, Wooyoung-ah. Once in a while is fine but it's not good-"
"-for my health if I eat too much", he completes the sentence in a mocking voice. "Yeah, yeah, I know, I know! But listen. I've been a good boy, haven't I? Yes, I have because as much as I remember, It's been a month I've been avoiding fast food and I haven't even had alcohol more than twice in the past month! So yes, I'm pretty positive that I've been a good boy. So I deserve a reward", he finishes with a little nod.
Seonghwa gives him a skeptic look but smiles soon. He pinches Wooyoung's cheeks and says, "Alright. Have your cheat day."
"Yesssss", Wooyoung grins. "Now let's get back to hugging please. I haven't hugeed you the whole day today!"
"Uh... we have to order....?"
Wooyoung's face is taken over by a cheeky grin. "Hm. I already ordered."
"Wha-" Then the realization sets in and Seonghwa slaps Wooyoung's shoulder. "You'd already got it planned!"
"Uh duh. I'm the perfect boyfriend ever", Wooyoung does a show of flipping his hair off of his shoulder.
"That you are. Won't argue on that", Seonghwa replies back. He drapes his arms over Wooyoung's shoulders.
It's suddenly silent again. And then Wooyoung is speaking up.
"Hyung, you know that I love you, right?"
Seonghwa takes Wooyoung's hands in his and nods. "I know and I'm so grateful to be on the receiving end of your love."
"You know I would always be here when you need me, right?"
"Yes, Wooyoung-ah."
"Good", Wooyoung whispers. "You do know how important you are to me.....?"
Seonghwa stares for a few seconds and then nods. "It's just...." he starts but then stops talking altogether.
"Hm?" Wooyoung urges when minutes pass by and Seonghwa still does not finish his sentence.
"It's just that..." Seonghwa's eyes are dancing around, avoiding Wooyoung's. "I...you know, sometimes it's hard to realize my own importance and..."
Wooyoung just nods and rubs this thumbs over Seonghwa's knuckles and hopes it releases Seonghwa's anxiety a bit.
"....and I-I need reminders. That I am somewhat important...?" Seonghwa continues in a small shaky voice. His hands try to free themselves out of Wooyoung's, probably to fidget, but Wooyoung holds them tight. "I don't know how to explain this more clearly but I-I'm not saying that you don't love me! A-all I'm saying is....that...I..."
Aaaaand he stops talking again. Wooyoung sighs and cups Seonghwa's face with his hands. He plants the softest kiss on Seonghwa's forehead and looks him straight in the eye.
"I understand", he whispers. "If you need reminders, I will give you reminders. I will tell you how much you mean to me, how much I love you every single second of every single day if I have to. And I'm so sorry that I couldn't be with you today. That I had to go and leave you alone to your thoughts."
"You don't have to be sorry about that", Seonghwa holds Wooyoung's wrists to bring them one by one to his lips and kisses them. "You have a life to live. I can't keep you away from what you love to do just because I'm depressed and want attention."
"Hey...." It hurts and Wooyoung makes sure it shows on his face. His arms go back to hugging Seonghwa's waist. "Don't be so harsh on yourself. It makes me sad. You don't want attention. You just need support and love. And I'm here to give you that. And you're not keeping me away from anything, hyung, what the hell...." his voice gradually quietens as his lips turn pouty.
Wooyoung sees Seonghwa's eyes tear up and starts to panic again. But then Seonghwa is hugging him again and Wooyoung relaxes his shoulders. "God, what did i do to deserve you? You're the best thing that has ever happened to me."
Wooyoung exhales, the tension leaving his shoulders. "Pfft, aren't I a nuisance? Well, if I remember correctly, I cackled when that one time you slipped and fell in public before picking you up. I should have picked you up first thing honestly. I'm always bickering with you, getting on your nerves. I'm messy as fuck. I never do the work you tell me to do right away and then forget to do it altogether afterwards which you absolutely hate. I eat too much fast food and get sick sometimes because of that, you worry too much over it. Basically, I annoy the fuck out of you, I'm literally a child, and you think I'm the best thing that has ever happened in your life? Hyung, are you-"
Wooyoung does not get to finish because Seonghwa is kissing him then.
"Do you ever shut up?" Seonghwa asks when they part. There is a soft smile dancing on his lips and a lovely look of adoration in his eyes. God, Wooyoung will to go to a goddamn war for this man.
It is a question Seonghwa has asked a multiple times before and Wooyoung has always answered the same.
"Nope", he has that grin that lights up his entire face and makes his eyes disappear behind his eyelids. The smile that Seonghwa oh so adores. "The only way to shut me up is with a kiss", he whispers.
So that is how he gets shut up once again and Wooyoung wishes that he always wins the war against the depression bitch just like that.
__________
The doorbell rings and Wooyoung groans. Seonghwa chuckles from where he has his face buried in Wooyoung's neck again.
"Well, now we gotta move."
"Ugh, I don't wanna", Wooyoung whines a little. Seonghwa kisses the protruding lips and ruffles Wooyoung's hair as he gets off of his lap.
"I'll get the door", and then Seonghwa is walking out of the room.
"Good luck with standing up! I hope your legs are still alive!" Wooyoung hears Seonghwa shout after he has already walked down the stairs.
Wooyoung does not mind if his legs fall asleep just because he has had his boyfriend sitting on his lap for half an hour or so. At least he has got Seonghwa to smile now. At the end of the day, that is all that matters.