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Nemo, House, and Dean were planning something. They were planning to rob a casino, ambush the dealers, and open the vault. But their plan was quickly going south.
To start, the casino was closed. They didn't plan on this... but once they opened the vault and with Dean's skills, they were in within minutes. But what they found surprised them, this was because the vault was guarded from the inside...
...By babies... Boss babies.
Little kids dressed in suits with earpieces.
This was... odd, to say the least.
"This is not good" Dean stated the obvious.
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"No, really?" Nemo asked, pulling out the metal stick keeping her hair up. They stare down at the weapon. "I don't know how to use this."
"Oh, that's easy." One of the babies said, "You just act like you're interior decorating."
"Hey, than---" Nemo says, interrupted by Dean shooting him, hitting his right eye. "Hey! Asshole! I was talking to him."
Dean rolls his eyes. House puts his arm around his boyfriend's shoulders, smirking as he says, "It doesn't matter, now put your nose to use and sniff out his valuables." Nemo stalks over and searches him.
"Jack shit, surprise, jackass." She says, before stepping back. "Though, to be fair, the blood splatter does look really cool."
The silence did not last long, as soon they were swarmed by babies determined to protect the money the casino held. Dean was shooting them down, House punting the little shits with his cane, and Nemo stabbing them with her hair thing. They stop for a moment and sniff the air.
"Something's off."
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"YEAH, YOU THINK?!" Dean yelled while pointing at the huge swarm of babies over House's shoulder. "That can't be good" Nemo said, before they were hit by a wave of babies.
Later, they woke up in a room, tied to chairs surrounded with one-way mirrors.
"WHY CAN'T I JUMP!" House screamed as he woke up. "Honey, you haven't been able to jump for a while." Dean reminded the crippled man.
"Hey, this reminds me of last night, right babe." House said to his boyfriend.
"NOT THE TIME GUYS." Nemo said, thoroughly traumatized by the images that sentence conjured in her mind. "We need to get out of here."
(Time-skip)
they are now on the street, money in hand, running away from a large explosion, and no I will not explain how this happened.
"Phew, now that we escaped, lets hit the bar y'all." Nemo said to the House and Dean.
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"WASSUP MOTHERFUCKERS--- Mother fuck her? I hardly even know her!" Nemo said.
"Are you already drunk?" Dean asks, but he is overshadowed by a cool red-haired man shouting,
"Holy shit, NEMO?"
Em turns to face them, shouting "Rowan?"
House, Dean's boyfriend, and House "Haus", Wilson's boyfriend, are staring at each other.
"Hummuna Hummuna," House, Haus, and Dean say in unison.
"Hey Wilson, I'm gonna have sex with myself and ---this guy," Haus shouts, gesturing to Dean. "Wanna join?"
"Oh, my Him they're multiplying." Wilson says, burying his face in his hands. "Absolutely!"
"And the worst part was, when we got to the vault, there was only, like, a hundred dallars!" Nemo, cries. "I knew I smelled something wrong!"
"Are we not gonna talk about the fact that there's two Houses?" Cuddy asks.
"Yeah, it's really sexy." House says.
"Oh, my gosh, please don't going at it raw with yourself like you do with Dean." Nemo replies.
"Please, Houw did this happen.?" Cuddy starts to sob.
"Stop!" Rowan says to Nemo.
"Stop!" Cuddy cries. She steps back from the table. "Since you won't listen to me 6 7 I will be performing an interperetive dance." House lunges towards Haus, who reciprocates, and passion moves them as their mouths crash into each other.
"Hola soy Dora! Hola soy Dora!" Cuddy sings, dancing interperetively. Nemo and Rowan stopped catching up to make fun of her. Dean turns to Wilson, caressing his face with the back of his hand.
"Distract me, Watson." He says, and they start making out with passion equalling the Houses.
Fanfic created with #FranticFanfic.
