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Published:
2025-11-07
Updated:
2025-11-07
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2,456
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1/?
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Two Bad Bitches (at the same damn time)

Summary:

You've been the village doctor for Hometown for 3 years now. You escaped the bustling city-life in exchange for the the peaceful, cozy town nestled at the bottom of Mt. Ebott.

When the new local grocery store opened up, you didn't expect to see your ex, Sans of 2 years AND be the new neighbor that everyone was talking about.

And now your new TV is acting up and a little clingy (maybe a lot clingy).

Nice.

Takes place in Deltarune universe. For my greedy ass people out there who like both Tenna and Sans. (tenna on top tho)

Notes:

i don't really like the title of the chapter, but i cannot come up with something else for the life of me.

anyways, here's a result of me procrastinating from my studies.

i dunno how long this'll be or how it'll even end. I just HAD to write something with this idea. I liked it too much.

i wanted to write mostly tenna/reader, but honestly, my middle-school obsession with sans was reawakened with that 10th anniversary stream. lemme have a LITTLE bit of fun.

p.s. might be doing some editing & re-writing of the story/chapters to make it flow more when i got more time.

ionno

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: 1: That Sunday Afternoon

Chapter Text

Sans blinked. Once. Then twice.

 

He nearly broke his neck doing a double-take at the customer who just walked into his store. Usually, he just gave a lazy greeting or smile to whoever walked in the store, but this time he was too stunned to speak. He watched them grab a basket at the entrance and start meandering down the fruit aisle. Your hair was different, a little shorter maybe, but there was no doubt in his mind that it was you.

 

His ex.

 

His eyelights were fixed on you, watching as you carefully examined two different cereal boxes in either hand. Seems like you still couldn't decide which cereal flavor you liked the most after all this time.

 

How long has it been? 5 years, give or take.

 

It still felt like just yesterday you two met on that late autumn night. You and Sans had met back in Ebott City, back when you were still in your third year of medical school. Sans had worked as a part-time janitor at the university and remembered picking up that late night shift for some extra money.

He didn't pick them off that often since he had to take care of Papyrus. Or at least make sure he didn't burn their kitchen. Again.

But, Sans always did prefer the night shifts. Much more peaceful and something ominously beautiful of the usually bustling university to be in a desolate limbo. There were still some students around campus, not that weird to see at a medical school. At around 2 AM, Sans heard some grumbling and clattering noises coming from the cafeteria. When he checked it out, he saw the coffee machine semi-disassembled and you frantically tossing some napkins over a puddle of spilled coffee on the ground to clean up.

He swore that the coffee machine had an 'Out of Order' sign on it. Ah. There it was. Soaking up the coffee on the ground.

Looking back, it was pretty embarrassing for you, but Sans always found it hilarious. It never failed to make him smile. You had been so desperate for a boost of energy that you tried to fix the machine yourself. Obviously that didn't work.

When you saw Sans, you kept apologizing for the mess, saying you'd clean it up, but he assured you it was fine. While cleaning up that mess, he told you that that coffee was awful anyway. That you'd thank him a 'latte' if he gets you the good stuff from the Dean's suite.

It was such an awful joke and maybe it was the sleep-deprivation, but you nearly laughed yourself into tears from that.

After that night, you and Sans just clicked. It started to become a routine to have a cup of coffee with him, sometimes swiped from the Dean's office, sharing bad laughs, and even worse puns. You two remained friends for the remaining two years of your schooling and the rest is history.

Sans had become one of your close friends and eventually, your boyfriend, after a movie night of cheesy films and heart-felt confessions. Frankly, Sans didn't even see it coming. One second, you were just another overworked and tired medical student and the next, he was getting flustered over a small shoulder touch and your smile.

But, of course, it didn't end happily. It had been a good year or so, until you had finally entered your residency. He knew you were a motivated individual, had dreams and aspirations of your own to have a private clinic. He wanted to be there for you every step of the way, to support you. But the relationship was starting to take its toll on you. It was strained from your long hours at the hospital, days and weeks of studying. Sans could see how guilty you felt about canceling yet another plan on him in favor of work, making another empty promise.

It hurt him deeply to realize that this wasn't something he could remedy. You were just at a point in your life where a relationship was not in the cards. 

You both came to that decision, deciding that it'd be best for both of you to just break-up now before it further soured the relationship.

He still remembers that wanting need to turn back to your apartment, to take back his decision, and say he doesn't care how many times you'll have to cancel on him. But, he wanted to respect your wishes. You wanted this too after all; no matter how much it pained you to say it.

About a year after the break-up, he had heard you moved from the city. You didn't message him about it or give him any heads-up. 

Why would you?

It's not like you two keep in contact after that day. Just a few awkward 'how are you's' over text messages, lots of undelivered messages stuck in the notes app.

 

Then nothing.

 

Sans straightened up when he saw you walking over, pushing off from the counter. You were busy digging in your bag, trying to find your wallet before walking up to the register. When you looked up to greet the cashier, you froze.

He still looked the exact same after all these years. A little more tired, perhaps, but it was still him. 

Your mouth went a little dry. You hardly knew what to say, what you could say or should've said. "S..Sans?" You said, still not believing your eyes. You received a short laugh from him.

He put his gloved hands in his pockets, his perma-smile growing a little wider. "heya. guess i should've known this would happen at some point," that familiar deep timbre voice answered.

He took in your appearance, amused at how you looked like a deer in headlights right now. "That surprised t' see me? Has been five or six years, I suppose," he shrugged.

"I-" You paused, clearing your throat. "I just didn't expect to see you is all. Are you the new neighbor everyone's been talking about?"

"guilty as charged," said Sans. He nodded towards your hair, "nice cut. it really suits you."

You couldn't help but smile a little. "Thanks. I just wanted to try something new," you said. "You...You look good too," you added, trying to ignore his growing smile at your response.

You relaxed a little as you started to set your groceries down on the counter for Sans to scan out. You watched as he moved languidly, punching in the codes for the produce before bagging it. Seeing your ex at the grocery store was the last thing you expected on a Saturday morning. It sounded like a bad rom-com. Especially the fact that he's apparently moved in now to the small village as her, out of all the monster villages.

You stiffened a bit as your eyes flicked up and met his gaze. Shoot, he noticed you staring. You quickly came up with another topic of conversation, "Uh, so did Papyrus move with you?" 

Sans had noticed you staring before you did. He didn't mind it, even wanted to tease you about it a little, but he decided against it. "yup. we both kinda needed a change of scenery from the city life. surprised you haven't run into him yet. he's been running around like crazy since 4 in the morning. "

"Well, I had to get up pretty early myself for some administrative work at the hospital."

Sans hummed in response, his 'brow' raising, "been meaning to ask how the doctor thing was coming along. still running around in 'organ'-ized chaos?" He chuckled, leaning against the counter to rest his head in his palm.

You shook your head, a grin breaking through, "Your jokes are still awful."

"you still seem to find them 'humerus' enough," he shot back with a playful wink. You couldn't fight off the snort of laughter that escaped you.

You didn't realize until now how much you actually missed his jokes. He used to tell you so many after you had a bad day at work. He'd make it his mission to leave you gasping for air and tears in your eye. Or at least just groan at his joke with a reluctant smile.

"Doctor stuff is going great. When I came here to finish up my residency and I dunno. Kinda never left," You shrugged. "I still want to open up a clinic, which feels silly in a small town like this that already has a hospital, but...well...I dunno how much you remember about me wanting to open my own clinic."

"hard not to remember when you had an entire board for it. pretty impressive, doc," a note of admiration in his voice. His smile softened seeing at how you practically beamed at his comment. Sans couldn't help but feel a small sense of pride in his chest for you. He did always admire your drive—seeing that ambitious spark in your eye whenever you talked about your goals or how nothing seemed to deter you, no matter how insurmountable it seemed. 

"when I heard about there being a human doctor around here, I didn't expect it to be you. thought you wanted to be some big shot doctor in the city, help out both monsters and humans."

Maybe a small part of Sans did know that it was you. Even hope a little. Funny how fate brings people back together.

"Those plans...didn't work out," You shrugged. "It's not that interesting of a story. My goals just shifted a little was all." There had been a time in your life when you were aiming high, even aiming to be the hospital director of the largest hospital in Ebott City. But, somewhere along the line, you felt your priorities shift. You'd never admit it—at least, not out loud—but meeting Sans had left a deeper mark on you than you originally believed. Didn't matter anyway. He'd figure it out anyway. He was always much more perceptive than he let on. "Besides, there is one other human in the town besides me. Toriel, not sure if you met her yet, but she has a kid named Kris. They're a bit of a trouble-maker, but they're a good kid. Sweet when they wanna be," you smiled.

"yeah, I've met Tori once or twice. Kris too. they seem like they can appreciate a joke or two," he said, practically grinning as he recalled how they in fact did not appreciate calling the 'idiot baby' hotline.</p

 

"anyway, guess this means you'll be seeing more of me, doc. just hope it doesn't cost me an arm and leg."

You playfully rolled your eyes, inserting your card into the reader, "Alright, fine. As long as you promise to do the same for me with groceries,"

He grabbed the printed receipt, handing it over to you with a grin, "eh. why not. You've got yourself a 'dill'." You chuckled, grabbing your bag of groceries and stepping away from the counter with an awkward smile, "Guess I'll be seeing you around more often." "Looks like. Maybe next time you'll get a better cereal," he lightly teased. "Hey, just feeling like changing it up from the usual. I mean, who doesn't want a bowl of...uh..Sugar Sploinks?" You said, glancing down in your bag at the cereal box you grabbed. Huh. Maybe you should've just stayed boring. "Tell Papyrus I say hi, in case I miss him," you said. As you turned away from Sans, heading for the door, he suddenly felt a small pang in his chest.

He wasn't sure why. He thought after all this time, you wouldn't have any effect on him. But, joking with you again felt..right. All he knew is that he didn't want to just leave it like this.

He pushed off the counter, straightening up this time, "uh...hey, hold on a sec." You looked back at him, waiting for him to speak, and for a moment, Sans forget why he even stopped you in the first place. He should've just let it end right there. But, he didn't want to. Sans thought carefully before speaking, "listen, i know it must be pretty awkward, seeing me and all. but, i still...want us to be okay. it'd be kinda a pain if we tried to avoid each other and frankly, i'm just too lazy for that."

Sans knew it was a little more than that, but he couldn't admit that to himself. "we should catch up sometime, if you're game. grab a coffee together for old times sake," his tone softening. "as friends, obviously. no pressure if you don't wanna," he added.

 

You contemplated it, knowing for a fact that Mettaton would scold you for even considering this. It was a plain bad idea. Seriously, getting coffee with your ex after years?...But..he did say just as friends. Well, regardless you had already decided against your better judgement the second you talked to him.

"Sure! We could get some at QC's diner. She always brings out a seasonal one around this time and I've been dying to try it," you smiled. "I'm usually free Fridays. Sometimes the weekdays, but that's usually if things are slow."

Sans relaxed, his usual joking demeanor returning, "friday it is. you lemme know when and wherever."

"Uhm, how about this coming Friday? Say...11 AM? It's the next day I'm free," You suggested, fidgeting with your scarf. "works for me. I can close the store whenever since I own it. So, whatever you say, boss. I'll see you then, doc," Sans said. He threw you a teasing wink, but there was an undeniable note of sincerity in his tone.

With a final wave, you opened the door and left, the sound of the bell chiming to signal your departure.

You exhaled deeply once you exited. Well...at least you can say you had an interesting day. Trying to forget about the unexpected plans you agreed to (and kinda made), you beelined straight home to finish up your chores for the week.

Honestly, you're not even sure why you were going along with this. Compared to the majority of people with their exes, things weren't too bad between you. It had been a mutual break-up after all, that you both decided on.

Besides, you've been over him for a while now and he was over you. 

Now, it's just a simple hang-out between two friends. An attempt at civility and avoiding the whole cliché of awkward run-ins around town. (especially since he owns the one local market, unlike the others that aren't even remotely close to home.)

But, you really couldn't fight off the dumb smile on your face.

Notes:

this was pretty short imo. i swear i would have made it longer, but i have so much shit to do.

i dunno how many chapters this'll be, I don't even have a storyline, BUT I know I want two endings at least. maybe even a cheeky third one ;P

updates will be slow as fuck and chaotic. i also had a tenna one-shot i was working on and THAT is definitely not coming out anytime soon. it will at some point.

also, yes i know it takes way longer to be a doctor, but let's just pretend in this world it doesn'tcsbdcuiamlz

Anyways, hope you liked the first chapter! <3